Trollheart

It’s Only a Paper Moon: The Moon in Popular Culture, Literature and the Media

As I noted in the introduction, the Moon has played a huge role in everything from poetry and prose to movies as the centuries have gone by, and while a list of all works of fiction referring to or about or regarding the Moon would take till Christmas - 2024 probably - let’s take a look at some examples. As usual, we’ll do a timeline.

2 AD - 1550

Possibly the first story written that is set on the moon was Lucian’s second-century novel A True Story, which describes a trip to the Moon and the people who live there.

Related in another of my journals, the tenth-century Japanese folk tale The Bamboo Cutter features a beautiful girl, the Moon Princess, adopted by a bamboo cutter and his wife, and returning to her home the Moon at the end of the story.

If you thought that one weird, try Ludovico Ariosto’s 1516 epic poem Orlando Furioso, in which a knight has to fly to the Moon (in Elijah’s chariot, no less) to recover the wits of his friend, who has gone mad. Ariosto envisioned, for some reason, the Moon as the place where all things lost went, and so the knight finds the eponymous protagonist’s wits and returns them to him, after which he becomes sane again.

Or for weirder, how about The Buried Moon, in which the Moon goes for a stroll on Earth and falls into a bog, where it is imprisoned by “evil creatures” and has to be rescued and set free by men. Right.

1541 saw the publication of Somnium by Juan Maldonado, an early form of satire of manners, while five years later John Heywood claimed that “the Moon is made of greene cheese.” Well if it is, Neil Armstrong certainly isn’t saying anything about it.

Francis Godwin had his hero pulled to the Moon in a chariot drawn by geese, in The Man in the Moone in 1638, and this inspired Cyrano de Bergerac to write Voyage dans la Lune twenty years later, though for propulsion our Cyrano used good old fireworks. Daniel Defoe wrote in 1705 of voyages from China to the Moon in The Consolidator and German writer Rudolf Erich Raspe had his Baron Munchausen visit the Moon in 1786, while Washington Irving wrote of the Conquest of the Moon in 1806.

Many of these stories were of course allegories, satires or pure fantasy, and not one of them featured, or could feature, actual facts about the Moon, so everything had to be made up. An exception would be Somnium (The Dream) (1634) by actual astronomer Johannes Kepler, in which he did at least expound some theories, though in the guise of fiction, and Vejamen de la Luna (A Satirical Tract on the Moon) by Anastasio Pantaleón de Ribera, coincidentally published in the same year, though Kepler wrote his in 1610 and de Ribera in 1626), which seems to have referred to the theories of Kepler and Galilieo.

Timeline: 1800 - 1960

The Great Moon Hoax

On August 25, the following story appeared in the Sun, a New York newspaper:

GREAT ASTRONOMICAL DISCOVERIES
LATELY MADE
BY SIR JOHN HERSCHEL, L.L.D. F.R.S. &c.
At the Cape of Good Hope
[From Supplement to the Edinburgh Journal of Science]

Along with this drawing, purporting to be of an inhabitant of the Moon.

From the above headline it can be seen that the idea was that the information came from no less respected a source than the famous astronomer, John Herschel. The article claimed that life had been discovered on the Moon, thanks to an incredibly powerful new telescope, and that there were animals such as bison and goats, and weirder creatures like beavers who had no tails and walked on two legs, and men who had bat wings. It was also announced that there were trees, oceans and beaches on the Moon. This was all apparently related by one Dr. Andrew Grant, said to be the travelling companion of Dr. Herschel. He was of course completely made up.

The article became a series, as people hungrily bought up copies of The Sun (is it ironic that a story about the Moon was published in a paper called The Sun?) running for six in all, until eventually it was announced that the great new telescope had suffered catastrophic failure as it had unwittingly acted as a lens for the sun, which had then set fire to the observatory.

The man believed to have been behind the hoax was Richard Adams Locke, a reporter for The Sun who had taken exception to some of the wild theories astronomers were floating about the Moon, and also to lampoon a cleric, Reverend Thomas Dick (well named, add head) who had the crazy idea that every single planet in the solar system was jammed with life, and used the population of Britain as a yardstick to calculate how crowded our neighbours would be, coming up with the grand total of just over twenty-one trillion. Right. A few out there, Reverend! This meant that the Moon must have, according to Dick’s calculations, about four billion people living on it.

The main reason though for the hoax was, as it has always been for reporters and editors, to sell more copies of the paper. Interestingly, it took six weeks before the hoax was revealed, and even then The Sun did not issue a retraction. Their circulation certainly increased though, and remained high even after the hoax was admitted. Also interestingly, Herschel was amused initially at the article, saying that it was certainly more colourful than anything he could talk about, but later he got pissed off that so many people believed it was true and kept asking him stupid questions about it.

Edgar Allan Poe was less amused. He claimed that the article ripped off a story he and written and he was probably right as - get this - Locke was his editor! Well then that seals it, doesn’t it? But there’s more. The story Poe wrote was first published as a supposedly true account in June, only two months before Locke’s articles began, in another newspaper, the Southern Literary Messenger, but nobody took it seriously because, well, he didn’t write it as a serious account. So he was probably annoyed not only that Locke stole his idea, but that the reporter got a lot more traction with it, making people believe where the great horror writer could not. Undaunted, Poe later published The Balloon Hoax in 1844, but that’s nothing to do with the Moon so we won’t go into that. Good to see though that, in true Poe style, he did get his bloody revenge, by publishing his hoax in the same paper, The Sun. All right, not a bloody revenge, not really a revenge at all, as he had to retract it two days later, but still, he played them at their own game.

The story he had written was called The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfall, published in 1835, which described the protagonist using a giant balloon to reach the Moon, and while surely ripped off by Locke, it must have been the inspiration for the next one on our list.

The Princess of the Moon: A Confederate Fairy Story, written in 1860 by Cora Semmes Ives, envisions Moon men repelling an invasion of Union soldiers, who arrive in balloons. I find this interesting because, even if it does take much of the idea from Poe, while I haven’t looked at everything on the list, this seems to me to be the first properly political story using the Moon as a backdrop, and also kind of transposing the Civil War there.

Then of course in 1865 there was the classic Jules Verne novel, From the Earth to the Moon which would later be adapted by George Melies and become one of the world’s first properly-animated live action movies, as well as the first ever science fiction one. Less than forty years later another legendary writer would pen The First Men in the Moon (1901), as H.G.Wells ruminated upon the properties of a gravity-resistant element called Cavorite, the story containing his usual commentary upon man’s warlike nature.

Around about now the medium of film began to appear, and as mentioned above we have La Voyage dans le Lune (1901) making history as the first ever science fiction movie, then shortly afterwards Fritz Lang brought out Frau im Mond (Woman of the Moon) in 1929, followed by Wells’s Things to Come in 1936.

In 1925, J.R.R. Tolkein wrote Roverandom, a story about a dog having adventures on the Moon, to console his child for the loss of his favourite toy dog. A few years later Hugh Lofting published Doctor Doolittle in the Moon (1928) - not quite sure why it’s “in” rather than “on”, as is more usual, and C.L. Moore described in his Lost Paradise in 1936 how the Moon changed from a fertile planet to the empty barren rock it is today. C.S. Lewis was typically championing Christianity when he wrote That Hideous Strength in 1945, though for some reason he calls the Moon Sulva, and in 1948 Disney had the love interest of one of the characters in his movie Melody Time thrown up to the Moon. Missing her, the protagonist howls up at the Moon, and is joined in sympathy by the coyotes, explaining (in a Disney way) why coyotes howl at the Moon.

Both Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke envisioned a first human flight to the moon in 1970 and 1978 respectively, the former writing in 1939 and the latter in 1951. Asimov was closest of course, being only one year out while Clarke missed it by nine, but still remarkably prescient. Clarke used the Moon as a backdrop for a later novel, Earthlight in 1955 and again in 1961 with A Fall of Moondust. Although Earthlight featured a human colony on the Moon, it was not the first to do so, that honour going to the less well-known Bohun Lynch, who in 1925 published the appropriately B-movie-titled Menace From the Moon.

The science fiction writer who used the Moon as a setting for his stories and novels the most though appears to be the prolific Robert A. Heinlein, who, between 1940 and 1966 wrote no less than twelve, including Rocketship Galilieo (1947), The Man Who Sold the Moon (1949), Nothing Ever Happen On the Moon (1949) and of course his classic The Moon is a Harsh Mistress (1966). He would later turn Rocketship Galileo into Destination Moon, an important science fiction movie released in 1950.

Timeline: 1960 - 2000

In terms of movies, the big one of course was 2001: A Space Odyssey, though it only features the Moon in early scenes, but just as film began to grow up in the early part of the twentieth century, it found itself with a baby brother, television, and this medium was not slow to capitalise on the interest in science fiction, with the Moon again being one of the major backdrops, probably second only at this point to Mars. The Moonbase, a short series shown in 1967, predates and foreshadows Gerry Anderson’s highly successful Space:1999, of which more later, but most science fiction television shows preferred to show the deeps of space, alien creatures, alternate worlds, and shied away from the more prosaic setting of the Moon.

Film, on the other hand, featured the Moon in such releases as Flash Gordon (1980), two Superman movies (II and IV, 1980 and 1987), Star Trek: First Contact (1996), Starship Troopers (1997), The Fifth Element[/i] (also 1997) and, um, Airplane II (1982). TV series began to catch up with episodes of Doctor Who and the aforementioned Space: 1999, in which the Moon was torn from its orbit by a nuclear war on Earth and send hurtling through space, complete with a very surprised Moonbase crew.

Given its harsh, remote and rugged features, the Moon has often been used as the setting for penal colonies in science fiction. 2000 AD's Judge Dredd had one called Luna City One, and we’ve already discussed Heinlein’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress in which the Moon again is used for keeping prisoners, well, imprisoned. More usually though it is seen as a place for either colonisation or bases, such as in Star Cops, where it is a police base, The Moonbase and Space: 1999 as well as Anderson’s other show, UFO, and it is also the base for the Justice League of America in DC Comics. Or they have a big telescope there. Or something. I'm not well up on Justice League. Batty will tell you. The Moon is a colony in, among others, Starship Troopers and The Fifth Element, while in Futurama is has been turned into a giant Disney-like theme park.

Of course, the Moon features in titles of movies, book, songs, plays, poems and other forms of media as merely a word, often nothing to do with the actual Moon, in musical compositions such as “Blue Moon”, “Fly Me to the Moon”, “Walking on the Moon” and of course Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata”, films like Moon Over Parador and Hunter’s Moon and books with titles such as Paper Moon or The Moon’s a Balloon. Which science has proven not to be the case. Even outside of science fiction and fantasy, the Moon continues to exercise as much of an influence over our imagination and our emotions as it does over our tides.

And then there’s lycanthropy.

I haven’t been able to find any plausible explanation or reason for why werewolves are or were linked with the full moon, but I will guess that maybe it had to do with the idea of werewolves being seen as evil creatures and the worship of the moon as a pagan deity? Really not sure, but folklore and certainly later literature on the subject in fantasy and horror fiction holds that a person bitten by a werewolf would only transform into one themselves at the full of the moon. This is also linked to the idea that the full moon adversely affects some individuals’ minds, ranging from heightened anxiety to actually sending them into a frenzy, hence, as I already noted, the word lunatic. Perhaps because animals are meant to bay at the full moon too (maybe because it’s at its most visible when full)? I don’t know; I’m no expert on werewolves, and here we’re only concerned with the Moon.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Speaking of (and returning to) which, it’s time for this.


It’s time for some boring figures. Sigh. Let’s get on with it then.

Distance from Sun: 70,000,000 Km - 49,000,000 km (Because Mercury’s orbit is so eccentric, two figures have to be used, one for when it’s closest to the Sun - Aphelion - and one for when it’s furthest away - Perihelion)
Distance from Earth: (approx) 400,000 kms
Diameter: 1,076 km (about a quarter that of Earth)
Density: 3.344 g/cm
Surface gravity: 0.1654g
Satellites: None; it is one. And our only one.
Atmosphere: None
Length of day: 29.5 Earth days
Length of year: 27 Earth days
Axial tilt: 1.542 degrees
Mass: 0.012 Earths
Volume: 0.02 Earths
Surface Temperature Range: -23 to -173 degrees Centigrade
Weather: None

Okay then, that’s done with. Back to the - more or less - fun stuff.

Exploration of the Moon: Probes and Missions

As the Moon is the only planetary body we have so far explored ourselves, as in, not sent unmanned probes but actual human beings to (at the time of writing) I’m for the first and only time going to break this up into two sections, one for probes (which should be taken to be understood as unmanned) and the other for missions (where rockets carried men into space).

Probes sent

Once again, those Russians were first, with their Luna program.

Luna 1
Launched: January 2 1959
Reached Destination: January 4 1959
Type: Intended as an impactor, but failed and instead became an orbiter
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: First man-made spacecraft to achieve escape velocity from Earth, first to visit another planetary body. Studied Earth’s radiation belt and outer space. Detected the lunar magnetic field. Observed and measured the solar wind.
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: January 5 1959
Termination of Probe: In heliocentric orbit

A note here says that the Americans did not believe the Russians had reached the Moon, as they received no transmissions themselves, but it sounds like a case of sour grapes to me.

Luna 2
Launched: September 12 1959
Reached Destination: September 12 1959
Type: Impactor
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Planted Soviet flag on surface of the Moon; confirmed previous measurement of the Van Allen belt but was unable to detect a radiation field around the Moon. Measured the solar wind flux. Became the first man-made object to impact another celestial body. Score another for the stinkin’ Commie Reds, huh?
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: September 13 or 14 1959
Termination of Probe: Impacted on the Moon.

In a direct response to the criticism from the USA about the previous probe, i.e. that they had made it all up, the Soviet space agency this time ensured to contact British astronomer Bernard Lovell in Manchester and provide to him all the data as the probe transmitted it. He then shared this with the American scientists, who seemingly grumbled that they still did not believe it, but no longer had any basis for such doubt.

Pioneer 3
Launched: December 6 1958
Reached Destination: Failed
Type: Flyby
Nationality: American
Results: Failed to reach the Moon, emulating David Bowie and falling to Earth
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: December 7 1958
Termination of Probe: Burned up in Earth’s atmosphere

Pioneer 4
Launched: March 3 1959
Reached Destination: March 3 1959
Type: Flyby
Nationality: American
Results: Provided radiation data but went off-course and so was not close enough to the Moon for its photoelectric sensor to be triggered, thus no valuable information about the Moon was received.
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: March 6 1959
Termination of Probe: In heliocentric orbit

As far as I can see, in the early space race the Russians were miles ahead. They put the first satellite into space, had the first man-made object to escape the Earth’s atmosphere, got to the Moon first, were the first to impact a satellite there, and later were the first to put a living creature (Leica the dog) and later a man into space, the first to spacewalk and the first to land a probe on Venus, the first to record sound and images on that planet. Sure, the Americans caught up, becoming the first humans to land on another planetary body, and from then on it was USA! USA! USA! all the way, but in the initial and perhaps more important early stages of space exploration, Russia, as in the Soviet Union, led the way.

The Ranger series, intended to compete with the mostly successful Luna Soviet satellite programme, could have more accurately been called Danger or Anger. The first six probes failed, and resentment arose in Congress over all the funds being appropriated for NASA with no real return; essentially a waste of money.

Ranger 1
Launched: August 23 1961
Reached Destination: Failed; only achieved Earth orbit
Type: Flyby
Nationality: American
Results: Very little as the probe didn’t leave Earth orbit. Some miscellaneous data about radiation or some shit.
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: August 30 1961
Termination of Probe: Burned up in Earth atmosphere after batteries ran down

After no less than four failed attempts at launch, plagued by problems and no doubt leaving the Soviets pissing themselves laughing at the decadent Americans’ incompetence, Ranger 1 finally launched on August 23. Immediately it began having problems and never got out of Earth orbit, hanging around until its batteries went flat and it fell back to Earth. Not quite the success NASA had anticipated or hoped for. Reports of many Russian sides being split are impossible to corroborate at this time.

Ranger 2
Launched: November 18 1961
Reached Destination: Failed
Type: Test
Nationality: American
Results: n/a
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: November 20 1961
Termination of Probe: Fell back to Earth and burned up

If at first you don’t succeed, balls it up again. Well, that’s not quite fair. Ranger 2 was not meant to ever reach the Moon, it was merely a test vehicle to try to iron out the bugs that had bedevilled its predecessor. As it happened, it didn’t. Iron them out, that is, and it suffered from similar problems and only achieved low Earth orbit. Back to the drawing board, guys!

Ranger 3
Launched: January 26 1962
Reached Destination: Failed
Type: Flyby (intended as an impactor)
Nationality: American
Results: Complete failure
Photographs Taken: 0 (some very weak images were taken but nothing of interest)
Mission Ended: January 31 1962
Termination of Probe: In heliocentric orbit

If Russian pilots believed they were dogged by gremlins, little creatures who destroyed the electrics and mechanics in their planes during World War II, they must have moved over to live in America, as a year into the Ranger programme, three after the USSR had proudly planted the flag of the motherland on the Moon, NASA still couldn’t even line up their probes to reach the damn thing. Talk about hitting the broad side of a barn! Errors in telemetry sent Ranger 3 off course yet again, and then its computer died (damn you Bill Gates!) and that was more or less the end of it. Missed the Moon by several tens of thousands of kilometers and decided to spend the rest of its life in retirement in the sun, as it were. Noises began to emanate from Congress. “One more!” NASA pleaded. “Just one more. Or, maybe two. Three at the outside. Four, tops! We promise!”

Ranger 4
Launched: April 23 1962
Reached Destination: April 26 1962
Type: Impactor
Nationality: Proudly made in America
Results: n/a
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: April 26 1962
Termination of Probe: Crashed on lunar surface.

Hey, at least this time they reached the Moon! Problem was, everything failed. Although the launch was for once successful, problems began once the rocket lifted off and the solar panels failed to deploy on the satellite, then the computer grumped “Fuck this for a game of soldiers. Moon me arse!” and shut down. With no way to contact Ranger 3 and no way to control it, NASA could do nothing as it ploughed down onto the surface of the Moon without sending back any data. But at least the United States of America had finally landed something on another planetary body, and more, they landed on the far side of the Moon, not like those cowardly Russkies who had to land on the near side. Pussies.

NASA crowed that their probe was more sophisticated than Luna 2, which may be true, but the way you win the game is to put the ball in the back of the net, and the Soviet Union had proven to be (sorry not sorry if the football terminology confuses you: make up your own analogy) Manchester United while the USA was barely hanging on in the last relegation spot. Like, the Titanic may have been a hell of a lot more sophisticated than, say, the Mary Rose, but both went down the same way. Fucking Americans.

They were convinced they could do better. They had to, given all the taxpayer dollars they’d spent for nothing, and it wouldn’t be hard to do better anyway. So, fifth time lucky?

Ranger 5
Launched: October 18 1962
Reached Destination: October 21 1962
Type: Impactor
Nationality: American
Results: Another failure
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: October 21 1962
Termination of Probe: In heliocentric orbit

Close, but no cigar! Again the computer had a melt-down, switching, for some reason, from solar power to battery power, which is, I suppose, like seeing your laptop is down to three percent and, having plugged it in, removing the lead again. Or something. Anyway, the batteries were never built to last that long, and what do you know? They didn’t. Ranger 5 came the closest to the Moon (other than the one that crashed there of course), almost 450 miles short. Oooh! So close! Then off it went, riding into the sunset and leaving NASA techs tearing out their hair and no doubt congressmen and women and senators tearing up proposals for budgets.

Oh, but surely the next one would be the charm?
Yeah, about that…

In 1963 Congress had finally had enough and cut the budget for Ranger, slashing it by fifty percent. Thirteen planned probes had now to be cut to only nine, which meant NASA had only four last chances to make this work. It’s not surprising that their budget was halved: in many ways, the US Congress is like a bunch of investors, and one thing investors want is a return on their money. If they couldn’t get it back financially, Congress would want it back in terms of results, and so far, NASA had produced neither. In fact, all they had done was take the funds and basically piss them away on unreliable and shaky projects which either crashed, burned up or joined an increasingly large conga-line around the Sun. Something had to be done, or America would continue to be lampooned on Soviet State Television, probably, becoming the butt of such sarcastic retorts as “Da, comrade, I will believe that when an American reaches the Moon!”.

They set up an internal board of inquiry to try to get to the heart of why they were so shit at making probes, and one of the issues that surfaced was the involvement of the US Air Force, so that was terminated. Now NASA would have complete control and oversight over their own projects. They also bit the bullet and admitted they weren’t actually all that good at designing probes, and so outsourced the manufacture of the next Ranger probes to people who actually knew what they were doing. As 1964 began, they were ready to try again, fully aware that they were now on borrowed time. They had to show results or this time they would be completely shut down, and that would be it for the US space programme.

In terms of timing, it was both the best and the worst time for NASA. The US President had just been assassinated two months previous, and the nation was reeling from the shock. With his Vice-President, Lyndon Johnson, now in the White House, nobody was sure what the new president’s view on NASA’s money-down-the-drain record would be; would he lobby Congress to give them more time (and money) or less, or would he rely on and trust their recommendations, giving the space agency a short time in which to impress the new POTUS?

At the same time, with the country at its lowest ebb, the time might be right for a boost in morale, and if NASA could supply that - show that the Commies would not have it all their own way, and demonstrate that while the present was dark as night, the future could be bright - they might turn the weight of public opinion towards instead of against them. It really was make-or-break time for NASA, and they knew it.

Unfortunately, things did not quite go to plan.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Ranger 6
Launched: January 30, 1964
Reached Destination: February 2 1964
Type: Impactor
Nationality: American
Results: None, as the cameras malfunctioned
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: February 2 1964
Termination of Probe: Impacted on Moon surface.

This was pretty much disaster for NASA. Although the probe performed almost perfectly, and landed (impacted) on schedule, the failure of the cameras to operate meant that the mission was basically a further waste of money. As this had been an effort to photograph the Moon’s surface in order to determine a safe site for the Apollo manned missions, the probe had just the one function: to take pictures. But it failed to do so, and therefore was less than useless. NASA tried to put the usual desperate positive spin on the mission, but it was clear Congress was running out of patience and could see through their bullshit. The next one had to work. There simply was no longer any alternative.

Ranger 7
Launched: July 28 1964
Reached Destination: July 28 1964
Type: Impactor
Nationality: American
Results: (Finally) successfully impacted on the Moon and sent back thousands of pictures
Photographs Taken: 4,308
Mission Ended: July 28 1964
Termination of Probe: Impacted on surface of the Moon.


After twelve unsuccessful attempts and two programmes, NASA had finally managed to land a probe on the Moon and send back clear, vivid photographs of its surface. They must have been shitting themselves at launch though, as the first countdown had to be abandoned when the battery failed, but the next day the rocket took off without a hitch. From then on it was, for the first time in NASA’s history, plain sailing, and they were finally able to justify the massive cost of their Ranger programme. I mean, I don’t know what probes cost back then, but I’m willing to bet that, unlike the guy in Robocop, Congress were not buying that for a dollar! It must have been in the billions, but I guess eventually it proved money well spent.

Not even the Russians, with all their successful probes and impacts, had managed to take photographs of the Moon, so America was the first country to do that, and though it may seem incredible, and does to me, that after all these failures, they would send a man to the Moon only five years later, NASA would seal the place of the United States in history when Neil Armstrong planted, by his own hand, the stars and stripes on the surface of the Moon. From that point on, it could be said that the space race was basically over, and America had won.

Ranger 8
Launched: February 17 1965
Reached Destination: February 20 1965
Type: Impactor
Nationality: American
Results: Photographed the Moon’s surface in close-up
Photographs Taken: 7,137
Mission Ended: February 20 1965
Termination of Probe: Crashed on the surface of the Moon.

Now that they had had their first successful mission to the Moon - after so many futile years and so many failures, and way behind the USSR in terms of time but well ahead in terms of technology and achievement - there was no stopping the USA. More pictures were taken of the surface of the Moon, this time in close-up, enabling NASA to further plan the landing site for what would be the first human steps on the Moon four years later. For once, there were no problems with the launch, and though there was a slight scare with telemetry loss after lift-off, it did not impact the mission, which was carried out successfully.

Ranger 9
Launched: March 21 1965
Reached Destination: March 24 1965
Type: Impactor
Nationality: American
Results: More high-res photographs taken of the surface
Photographs Taken: 5,814
Mission Ended: March 24 1965
Termination of Probe: Impacted on the surface of the Moon.

The last of the Ranger missions, by now established as the most successful NASA had attempted and with Congress surely now ready to dole out the readies, this was the first time that real-time live transmission of pictures from the Moon were broadcast on television, another unlikely coup for the USA, which had only six years before lagged so badly behind the USSR that even Paddy Power, had he been in business, would have been unlikely to have taken that bet. All efforts now moved to the Apollo programme.

Meanwhile, the Reds were back.

With its last successful launch in September 1959, as above, all subsequent versions of the Luna probe failed either to launch or to operate properly. Russians being Russians, they were never exactly open about their failures, so the next one we know anything about is

Luna 9
Launched: January 31 1966
Reached Destination:
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Photographs taken of the lunar surface, confirmed surface stable enough to land on and Luna 9 made history as the first man-made probe to land safely on another planetary body.
Photographs Taken: 9
Mission Ended: February 6 1966
Termination of Probe: Still on the Moon’s surface

Again, Russians being Russians, though there were only nine photographs taken, the Soviets were not about to release them to the public, but Jodrell Bank kind of hijacked them by using transmission equipment usually used by newspapers for receiving picture signals, and broadcast them around the world.

Luna 10
Launched: March 31 1966
Reached Destination: April 3 1966
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Studied the gravity, radiation of the Moon, solar plasma and geological studies; became the first artificial satellite of the Moon
Photographs Taken:
Mission Ended: May 30 1966
Termination of Probe: In orbit around the Moon

Surveyor 1
Launched: May 30 1966
Reached Destination: June 2 1966
Type: Lander
Nationality: American
Results: Returned live video from the surface of the Moon, transmitted over television
Photographs Taken: 11,000 (video form)
Mission Ended: January 7 1967
Termination of Probe: Still on the surface of the Moon

Another first for the now-ever-strengthening USA, with live video feed of pictures from the Moon and the first ever soft landing (as opposed to hard impact, which had been the only landings made up to now) on its surface.

Lunar Orbiter 1
Launched: August 10 1966
Reached Destination: August 14 1966
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: American
Results: Photographed the Moon from orbit, carried out various experiments with respect to impact craters, radiation and makeup of the Moon
Photographs Taken: 229
Mission Ended: October 29 1966
Termination of Probe: Impacted on Moon’s surface

Though most of the photographs sent back by Lunar Orbiter 1 (couldn’t they have come up with a sexier name for it?) were relatively low-resolution, even for 1966, it did take the first ever photos of Earth from the Moon.

Luna 11
Launched: August 24 1966
Reached Destination: August 27 1966
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Studied gamma and x-rays to determine the Moon’s chemical composition, analysed meteoroids near the Moon, checked out lunar gravity and radiation
Photographs Taken: 0 (Failure of camera to operate)
Mission Ended: October 1 1966
Termination of Probe: Presumably crashed on the Moon when the batteries ran out.

Surveyor 2
Launched: September 20 1966
Reached Destination: Failed
Type: Lander
Nationality: American
Results: Contact lost in flight
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: September 23 1966
Termination of Probe: Crashed onto the Moon’s surface.

Whether the ghost of their previous failures resurfaced and NASA thought “here we go again” I don’t know, but this was the first probe to fail in its mission since Ranger 6, a course correction knocking it off trajectory and crashing it into the Moon. Oops! Not quite the soft landing they had intended. Never mind.

Luna 12
Launched: October 22 1966
Reached Destination: October 25 1966
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Completed failed mission of Luna 11
Photographs Taken: Unknown
Mission Ended: October 19 1966
Termination of Probe: Unknown but presumably crashed onto the Moon

This was sent into orbit around the Moon to address the failure of its predecessor to obtain and transmit the photographs of the lunar surface required; as noted above, Luna 11’s camera failed to operate due to some technical fault. Interestingly, the Soviets made sure not to have their transmissions hijacked this time by Jodrell Bank, switching between frequencies and confounding all attempts to intercept their signal. Those sneaky Commies!


Lunar Orbiter 2
Launched: November 6 1966
Reached Destination: November 10 1966
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: American
Results: Same as Lunar Orbiter 1
Photographs Taken: 817
Mission Ended: October 11 1967
Termination of Probe: Impacted on Moon’s surface

Luna 13
Launched: December 21 1966
Reached Destination: December 24 1966 (Happy Christmas, Comrades!)
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Panoramic photographs of the lunar surface taken, also soil samples
Photographs Taken: 5
Mission Ended: December 28 1966
Termination of Probe: Contact lost; presumably still on the Moon

Lunar Orbiter 3
Launched: February 5 1967
Reached Destination: February 8 1967
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: American
Results: Same as previous probes
Photographs Taken: 526
Mission Ended: October 9 1967
Termination of Probe: Impacted on Moon’s surface

Surveyor 3
Launched: April 18 1967
Reached Destination: April 20 1967
Type: Lander
Nationality: American
Results: Took soil samples from the Moon’s surface
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: May 3 1967
Termination of Probe: Still on the surface of the Moon.

Hooray! Another success for the good old USA! This time the mission was not to take photographs but to test the soil as NASA continued to build up its profile of the surface upon which they intended man to set foot in two years. In 1969, after this had been successfully achieved, to America’s lasting glory, this probe was partly cannibalised by astronauts from Apollo 12, making it the only probe on a celestial body to be visited by humans.


Lunar Orbiter 4
Launched: May 4 1967
Reached Destination:
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: American
Results: Almost 99 percent of the Moon’s surface photographed
Photographs Taken: 426
Mission Ended: October 6 1967
Termination of Probe: Impacted on Moon’s surface

Surveyor 4
Launched: July 14 1967
Reached Destination: July 17 1967
Type: Lander
Nationality: American
Results: Failed
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: July 17 1967
Termination of Probe: Believed to have exploded above Moon’s surface.

Maybe the comedown after the high, the fate of Surveyor 4 was never established, though contact being lost with it as it prepared to descend to the surface, it was theorised that its rocket might have exploded before it landed. There were no problems on launch and the flight to the Moon was perfect, but then contact was lost and that was that.

Lunar Orbiter 5
Launched: August 1 1967
Reached Destination:
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: American
Results: Photographed, among others, the later landing site for Apollo 11
Photographs Taken: 844
Mission Ended: January 31 1968
Termination of Probe: Impacted on Moon’s surface

Surveyor 5
Launched: September 8 1967
Reached Destination: September 11 1967
Type: Lander
Nationality: American
Results: Analysed the composition of the soil on the Moon, took photographs of its surface
Photographs Taken: 19.118
Mission Ended: December 17 1967
Termination of Probe: Remains on the surface of the Moon

Surveyor 6
Launched: November 7 1967
Reached Destination: November 10 1967
Type: Lander
Nationality: American
Results: Analysed the soil of the Moon, took photographs of its surface
Photographs Taken: 30,027
Mission Ended: December 11 1967
Termination of Probe: Remains on the Moon’s surface

Although Surveyor 6 was identical to its predecessor, it was involved in one other experiment that had never been tried before, by anyone. Seven days after landing, its engines were reignited on the Moon and it rose twelve feet into the air and flew eight feet west before settling back down onto the surface of the Moon.

Surveyor 7
Launched: January 7 1968
Reached Destination: January 10 1968
Type: Lander
Nationality: American
Results: Obtained soil samples, took photographs, returned touchdown dynamics data
Photographs Taken: 21,091
Mission Ended: February 21 1968
Termination of Probe: Remains on the Moon’s surface


Luna 14
Launched: April 7 1968
Reached Destination: April 10 1968
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Communications tested in support of later lunar landings
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: June 4 1968
Termination of Probe: Unknown

Lunokhod 201
Launched: February 19 1969
Reached Destination: Failed
Type: Rover
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: None
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: February 19 1969
Termination of Probe: Exploded after takeoff

This was the beginning of the Soviet Lunokhod program, to send robotic vehicles called rovers to land on, and investigate, the surface of the Moon. It was hardly the most auspicious start; not only did the rocket carrying the rover explode shortly after it lifted off, but the explosion spread the deadly radioactive chemical polonium 201 over much of Russia. Not surprisingly, they kept that one quiet!

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Note: The next probe to attempt a landing on the Moon was another Russian one, fifteenth in the successful Luna programme, but by now NASA had achieved the ultimate goal and landed humans on the Moon, so the Soviets were really playing catch-up, and perhaps trying to ignore the fact that they had been beaten.

Their first attempt, indeed a last-ditch one to try to pip the Americans to the post, was something of a disaster, and that's putting it mildly!

Luna 15
Launched: July 13 1969
Reached Destination: July 17 1969
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: None
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: July 21 1969
Termination of Probe: Crashed into the Moon (unplanned)

Still trying to outdo the Americans and refusing to accept that they had won the race to the Moon literally hours earlier, the Soviets tried landing Luna 15 on the Moon to sample the soil, but lost contact with the probe as it descended, and it’s believed it may have hit one of the lunar mountains. I doubt there could be a more public humiliation for the USSR during the space race. While Armstrong and Aldrin, their historic mission completed, were preparing to lift off from the Moon, the Russians were crashing their attempt into a rock.

But they were nothing if not doggedly determined, and continued to send probes even as the Apollo programme gained traction and man walking on the Moon became almost a commonplace occurrence. Not really.

Luna 16
Launched: September 12 1970
Reached Destination: September 15 1970
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Soil samples taken
Photographs Taken: Unknown
Mission Ended: September 24 1970
Termination of Probe: Lander remains on the Moon, sample capsule returned to Earth.

Although the US Apollo mission beat them to it, this was the first time the Russians had managed to retrieve a soil sample from the Moon. After the probe landed, the soil sample was taken and put into the capsule, which a few days later took off again and headed for Earth. It was a very successful mission and a triumph for the USSR - just a pity the capitalists got there first, otherwise it might have made world headlines. Presumably it made Russian State Television news and the headline of Pravda...

Luna 17
Launched: November 10 1970
Reached Destination: November 15 1970
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Landed Lunokhod 1, the world’s first lunar rover, on the Moon’s surface
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: September 14 1971
Termination of Probe: Still on the Moon.

Luna 17 was the vehicle which carried Lunkhead, sorry Lunokhod 1 to the Moon and made it the first ever lunar rover to be deployed on the surface of the Moon, so at least they had that over the Americans. Lunokhod’s story is told below.


Lunokhod 1
Launched: November 10 1970
Reached Destination: November 17 1970
Type: Rover
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Took thousands of pictures of the Moon from various vantage points, roamed across the surface taking soil samples.
Photographs Taken: 20,206
Mission Ended: September 14 1971
Termination of Probe: Remains on lunar surface

You’ve really got to feel for the Russians in one way. Only a few months before the hated Americans actually send men to walk on the surface of the Moon, making history, they’re still grappling with the logistics of getting a robotic rover there. I cam imagine the scene in February 1969 as they watch their rocket take off. “Hah! We will beat those decadent capitalists by getting our probe to the Moon and have it be the first to drive across the surface of a OH fuck! Look out comrade! That shit’s radioactive! Quick! Into this protective bunker! What? No, no time to warn the people! Fuck the people!”

A few months later it’s all over. The Americans have definitively won the Race to the Moon. But the Russkies keep going, sending a rover that this time gets there and take pictures, but by now nobody really cares. America and the USSR are like two bands struggling for recognition and fame, one of which ends up playing Madison Square Gardens, the other is still playing Madison’s Wine Bar in Queens or something.

The Russians have never come back from that massively humiliating defeat. After initial euphoria about Sputnik and their early successes, Russian space achievements seem to have completely tailed off, as if they’re just not interested any more, like a moody kid having lost the game kicking a can down the lane with his hands in his pockets muttering “Didn’t want to play that stupid game anyway” and desperately trying to convince himself that it doesn’t matter. Now Mars is the real target, but so far as I can see, Russia is not involved in those efforts (we’ll see in the next article) and space seems to more or less be in the hands of and under the control of the USA. As was once said in The Simpsons, the Moon belongs to America.

The Russians, though, seem not to have got the memo...

Luna 18
Launched: September 2 1971
Reached Destination: September 7 1971
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: None
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: September 11 1971
Termination of Probe: Crashed into the Moon’s surface.

You would have to wonder how, this late in the game, the Soviets were still fucking it up. I guess we’ll see that the Apollo programme had its failures too, and nobody is saying the Americans’ attempts were flawless, but it seems almost like the roles have been reversed here. Initially, the Soviets got all the glory, got (nearly) everything right, reaped all the rewards, and the Americans were flailing in the dark, with launch after launched cancelled and mission after mission failing. But once the US got things sorted, everything - more or less - seems to have gone smoothly for them (with some notable exceptions) whereas the Russians almost seem to have regressed, suddenly having major problems, failed launches, crashed probes, exploding rockets… like NASA had mysteriously transferred their bad luck and poor planning to them.

Of course, much of this had to do with funding not being available, training being below par and a general antipathy, one would assume, at the Kremlin in the wake of Apollo 11. They might have been thinking “we’ve been beaten, what’s the point in continuing to try?” and given less attention and care to their launches as maybe they should have. Either way, so far as I can see here, they never really recovered, and this was not a minor setback but almost a total defeat by and capitulation to the USA.

Not that it stopped them trying, of course.

Luna 19
Launched: September 28 1971
Reached Destination: October 2 1971
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Analysed lunar gravitation and concentration of ionised particles; studied the solar wind, took photographs of the lunar surface
Photographs Taken: Unknown
Mission Ended: October 20 1972
Termination of Probe: Unknown; contact lost

Luna 20
Launched: February 14 1972
Reached Destination: February 18 1972
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Collected soil samples from lunar highlands
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: February 25 1972
Termination of Probe: Lander remains on the Moon, soil capsule returned to Earth.

Luna 21
Launched: January 8 1972
Reached Destination: January 15 1972
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Deposited Lunokhod 2 on lunar surface
Photographs Taken: 0 (but see Lunokhod 2)
Mission Ended: June 3 1971
Termination of Probe: Remains on the Moon still

Lunokhod 2
Launched: January 11 1973
Reached Destination: January 12 1973
Type: Rover
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Photographs taken, soil samples analysed, calculations made as to the viability of astronomical observation from the Moon, solar rays observed, magnetic field analysed and so on.
Photographs Taken: 80,086
Mission Ended: May 11 1973
Termination of Probe: Still on lunar surface - was in fact sold to an American game designer, making it I think the first and only lunar rover passed from governmental control to private ownership.

Luna 22
Launched: May 29 1974
Reached Destination: June 2 1974
Type: Orbiter
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Studied the Moon’s magnetic field, gamma ray emissions, the composition of rocks, gravitational field and cosmic rays, took photographs
Photographs Taken: Unknown
Mission Ended: November 1975
Termination of Probe: Likely crashed into the Moon.

Luna 23
Launched:October 28 1974
Reached Destination: November 2 1974
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: None
Photographs Taken:
Mission Ended: November 9 1974
Termination of Probe: Fell over and stopped transmitting; still on the lunar surface

Luna 24
Launched: August 9 1976
Reached Destination: August 14 1976
Type: Lander
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: Returned soil sample
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: August 22 1976
Termination of Probe: Returned to Earth.

The second and last Soviet mission to the Moon to successfully return soil samples, these ones were significant in that trace elements of water, believed not to be on the Moon, were detected in them.

Lunokhod 3
Launched: Did not launch
Reached Destination: N/A
Type: Rover
Nationality: Soviet (Russian)
Results: n/a
Photographs Taken: 0
Mission Ended: n/a
Termination of Probe: Held in a Russian museum

Perhaps reflecting how interest in exploring the Moon had been all along based on a desire to beat the Americans there, and how, once they had managed to get there first, Russia’s government lost all heart for the venture, the third and final probe in the Lunokhod programme was never launched due to a lack of funding. Says it all really. This was in 1977, and so at this point the USA had established dominance over the space race, and no doubt the Russians were concentrating on more earthly matters.

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In 1961, as competition between the USSR and the USA heated up in what was known as the Space Race, the Race for Space or the Race to the Moon, American President John F. Kennedy, two years before his untimely death at the hands of an assassin in Dallas, and increasingly worried by the progress having been made by the Communist regime with their lunar orbiters, flyby probes and landers, in comparison to the limited success seen by the US, made this speech:

"I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the Moon and returning him safely to the Earth. No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important for the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish. We propose to accelerate the development of the appropriate lunar space craft. We propose to develop alternate liquid and solid fuel boosters, much larger than any now being developed, until certain which is superior.

We propose additional funds for other engine development and for unmanned explorations—explorations which are particularly important for one purpose which this nation will never overlook: the survival of the man who first makes this daring flight. But in a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the Moon—if we make this judgment affirmatively, it will be an entire nation. For all of us must work to put him there."

This led to the setting up of a space programme intended to allow NASA to create the conditions for sending crewed missions to the Moon, with the intention of humans eventually landing there. American humans of course. Thus was established the Apollo space programme.

Manned Missions

As this is not meant to be a history of that programme, but a list and information on vehicles that actually reached the Moon, whether they flew past it, orbited it or landed on it, I’m only going to concentrate on those missions which actually made it to the Moon, fulfilling those criteria. I must however make known my feelings here, that the only real reason the USA got to the Moon first was a case of “the end justifies the means” when they allowed Nazi scientist Werner von Braun, who had been responsible for Hitler’s “revenge weapons”, the V1 and V2 near the end of World War II, come to America and work for them rather than face trial at Nuremberg, as I believe he should have done.

How many innocent lives did this man’s weapons take, and how many died as a result of his implementation of the Nazi process of slave labour? Was he held accountable? Was he hell. His war record, in fact, was ignored and pushed to one side as long as America got what they wanted, and rather than be remembered as a war criminal and murderer, he now occupies a place in history as both “the father of rocketry” and the man who made it possible for humans to walk on the Moon. I think that’s a dark chapter in America’s history (not that it hasn’t got many of them anyway) that should not be forgotten.

I also understand, before anyone starts flag-waving, that had he somehow been spirited away by the Russians, they would have done the very same thing, and used his knowledge and expertise to get to the Moon before the Americans, also ignoring his war crimes. Generally, as humans, we fucking suck at morals and ethics, especially when national interests are involved.

A year after his historic speech promising to reach the goal of sending a man to the Moon, President Kennedy, in the state in which he would die a year later, reiterated and again justified and dedicated himself to this goal:

"There is no strife, no prejudice, no national conflict in outer space as yet. Its hazards are hostile to us all. Its conquest deserves the best of all mankind, and its opportunity for peaceful cooperation may never come again. But why, some say, the Moon? Why choose this as our goal? And they may well ask, why climb the highest mountain? Why, 35 years ago, fly the Atlantic? Why does Rice play Texas?

We choose to go to the Moon! We choose to go to the Moon ... We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win, and the others, too."

Let’s be perfectly blunt and honest here: when Kennedy says “mankind” he means “America”, and he could easily have answered the question by saying “Because if we don’t, those Commie bastards will, and I’ll be damned if I’ll be the president on whose watch the Soviet Union got another one over on us, one we can never live down or overcome. Look people: they’re ahead of us. They got Sputnik into space, they sent a friggin’ dog into space, for Chrissakes! Then they went better with the first man in space and the first spacewalk! They got to the Moon before us. Do you really want them to tread those god-damned Commie jackboots all over its surface before we have a chance to? Come on people!” Or something similar. I think, really, that might have served to silence a lot of the dissenting voices raised against this enterprise, or at least made them look un-American. Oh well. One way or the other they went ahead anyway, and five years after his death, with his VP in the White House, and several test flights under their belt - and with the tragedy of the explosion of Apollo 1 on the launch pad with the loss of life of all crewmembers behind them - that day was about to dawn.

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Apollo 8
Launched: December 21 1968
Reached Destination: December 24 1968 (Merry Christmas, y’all!)
Type: Orbiter
Crew: Frank F. Borman II, James A. Lovell Jr., William A. Anders
Nationality: American
Results: Successfully orbited the Moon, becoming the first humans ever to do so. Transmitted live television broadcast to Earth.
Photographs Taken: 800 (Also 16mm movie film and video broadcast)
Returned: December 28 1968
Issues (if any): Initial problems with the Lunar Module (LM); a bout of sickness for Borman left puke and shit floating everywhere. Nice. I think on the whole I’d prefer ants.

I’m pretty amazed to find that a) the original second-in-command was to have been Michael Collins, who would make history himself later by being on the crew of Apollo 11, but that he had to have an operation and so was replaced by Lovell. Backup crew included Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin! When the LM was delivered there were so many defects in it that it looked as if the mission would have to be delayed, but a workaround ensured Apollo 8 took off on schedule.

So many firsts: first humans to travel beyond Earth, first to travel through the Van Allen belt, first (of course) to approach another celestial body and then orbit it, the first ever sight of Earthrise, as the Earth rose behind the Moon, first humans to see Earth from space, and of course first humans to return to Earth having been in space. Lovell described their first sight of the moon in a historic broadcast:

“The Moon is essentially grey, no color; looks like plaster of Paris or sort of a grayish beach sand. We can see quite a bit of detail. The Sea of Fertility doesn't stand out as well here as it does back on Earth. There's not as much contrast between that and the surrounding craters. The craters are all rounded off. There's quite a few of them, some of them are newer. Many of them look like—especially the round ones—look like hit by meteorites or projectiles of some sort. Langrenus is quite a huge crater; it's got a central cone to it. The walls of the crater are terraced, about six or seven different terraces on the way down.”

Controversy erupted though over the reading of Bible verses during the video transmission to Earth, with an atheist activist claiming the US Government were illegally forcing those of other, or no, faith, to take part in, or at least listen to, Christian prayer, which they might not have been interested in. It was, she said, a form of subtle religious coercion. And while there was no law extant covering the Moon, NASA agreed to quickly re-close that particular can of worms before it spilled all over the place.

Apollo 10
(Note: I have not included Apollo 9 as it was a test flight which took place in low Earth orbit, and never reached, nor was intended to go to the Moon.)

Launched: May 18 1969
Reached Destination: May 2 1969
Type: Orbiter/Dress Rehearsal for landing
Crew: Thomas P. Stafford, John W. Young, Eugene A. Cernan
Nationality: American
Results: Tested out and confirmed all stages of the planned lunar landing successfully
Photographs Taken: Unknown, but also included colour television live broadcast for the first time in history (from space, that is).
Returned: May 26 1969
Issues (if any): Errors in data input during the simulated landing caused the LM to roll, coming very close to crashing into the Moon.

As this was in all but the actual landing identical to what Apollo 11 would achieve, there was some real fear that the crew would not be able to resist the temptation to become the first humans to land on the Moon, and so to forestall this NASA ensured that the return capsule did not have enough fuel to achieve lift-off from the Moon. So, they could have tried it - and possibly, probably even succeeded, making history ahead of time and stealing Armstrong and Aldrin’s thunder - but they would have paid a high price, stranded on the Moon with no way to get home. Of course they didn’t do it, nor might it have been their intention, but still, it’s sobering to hear that NASA were so worried they would, that they had to take these, on the face of it, pretty draconian precautions.

What would have happened had they done it? I mean, it’s exceptionally doubtful that NASA would have left them there to die, but the cost of sending another mission up to rescue them, or even carry the fuel to them to allow them leave, would have been prohibitive even if possible, and surely they would have faced major disciplinary action, even criminal charges (misuse of government property? Unauthorised landing?) and been liable for huge fines, considering how much a rescue mission would have cost. And - assuming they didn’t die up there - they would have gone down in history as both perhaps the most selfish and most stupid men ever to live. No, on balance, I don’t see it.

The mission could have been a disaster though, even without the guys yielding to temptation. After inputting duplicate commands into the LM, it began to roll and they came very close to crashing onto the surface of the Moon, and making tragic history as the first astronauts to die - probably, almost certainly, but at any rate crash - on a foreign planetary body. Not the way you want to make your mark!

Apollo 11
Launched: July 16 1969
Reached Destination: July 19 1969 - Landing on the Moon achieved at 20:17:40 UTC July 20 1969; Neil Armstrong set foot on the Moon 02:56 July 21 1969
Type: Lander
Crew: Neil A. Armstrong, Michael Collins, Edwin E. “Buzz” Aldrin Jr.
Nationality: American
Results: Landed humans on another planetary body for the first time in history
Photographs Taken:
Returned: July 21 1969
Issues (if any):

This was, of course, the big one, the day when the space race, or at least the race to the Moon, was finally and unequivocally decided, with America the winner. Commander Neil Armstrong and Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin landed successfully and walked on the surface of the Moon, becoming the first ever humans to set foot on extraterrestrial soil and broadcast from there. The American flag was planted on the lunar surface (“The Moon belongs to America!”) and they walked on the barren wasteland, experiencing the unusual effect of much lower gravity and walking under a sky that was not there, the Moon having no atmosphere. The Russians could only glower and grumble in defeat as they watched the American astronauts leave the LM codenamed “Eagle” and set NASA boots on the soil of the Moon, while the world watched. Hell, I even remember watching it myself, though I was only six years old and had no idea really what I was witnessing.

Oh now that’s interesting. I did not know that. Kennedy twice tried to convince the Soviet Union to partner with the US on the Apollo mission, but Krushchev wasn’t interested (probably unwilling to have it seen or perceived as the mighty Soviet Union riding on the technological coat-tails of the United States) and when Johnson took over after JFK’s death, they dropped the idea. Could have been interesting, and could even have helped thaw out both the Cold War and the Space Race. What-if, huh?

The Lunar Module Eagle landed at 20:17 UTC on July 20 1969, with the now-immortal words of Neil Armstrong “The Eagle has landed” ringing out across the world. A few hours later Aldrin made a short broadcast himself: "This is the LM pilot. I'd like to take this opportunity to ask every person listening in, whoever and wherever they may be, to pause for a moment and contemplate the events of the past few hours and to give thanks in his or her own way”

It’s probably due to something of a backlash against the astronauts quoting scripture that Aldrin most likely resisted saying “give thanks to God” or either he or Armstrong falling, Columbus-like, on their knees on the lunar surface after exiting the module. While this might have been an early version of PC gone mad, I do sort of agree: the US government, through NASA, could have been seen to have been attempting to establish the Apollo missions as Christian ones (ironic, as they had named it after a Greek god) and inadvertently or even knowingly forcing the acceptance of Christianity on the Earth, and in effect claiming the moon for the Christian God. So I think while it was probably a real overreaction on the part of those who protested, I can see their point and it probably needed to be made before this became standard on Apollo missions, which might, and possibly did (I’ll find out later) include astronauts who were of other religious faiths.

A few hours later again, the Eagle hatch opened and a human first breathed (as it were) the atmosphere of a new world and looked out upon its surface, again as it were, live. A few slow steps down a ladder and humanity set its boot on the lunar surface, as Armstong declared “That’s one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.” Due to a communication glitch, the indefinite article was missed, so that the world heard him say “one small step for man”, but he actually said “for a man”. Hey, the guy was making history. Cut him a break, eh? After Aldrin joined him on the surface they tested the walking and movement conditions, which, given the much lower gravity, proved both easy and difficult, as in, they had to plan their steps ahead, because it wasn’t like normal walking.

A short while later, and in a show of total nationalistic jingoism (though to be fair any country would have done the same) the American flag was planted on the Moon, the first since the Soviets had dropped a pennant globe onto it via lunar impactor, and the first ever raised by human hand on another planetary body. Next, newly-inaugurated President Richard Nixon refused to resist making bank of one of history’s greatest moments as he called the astronauts.

Nixon: "Hello, Neil and Buzz. I'm talking to you by telephone from the Oval Room at the White House. And this certainly has to be the most historic telephone call ever made from the White House. I just can't tell you how proud we all are of what you have done. For every American, this has to be the proudest day of our lives. And for people all over the world, I am sure that they too join with Americans in recognizing what an immense feat this is. Because of what you have done, the heavens have become a part of man's world. And as you talk to us from the Sea of Tranquility, it inspires us to redouble our efforts to bring peace and tranquility to Earth. For one priceless moment in the whole history of man, all the people on this Earth are truly one: one in their pride in what you have done, and one in our prayers that you will return safely to Earth."

Armstrong: "Thank you, Mr. President. It's a great honor and privilege for us to be here, representing not only the United States, but men of peace of all nations, and with interest and a curiosity, and men with a vision for the future. It's an honor for us to be able to participate here today."

Of course, had that been today, or a decade later, Armstrong would no doubt have said “men and women of peace”, but you can’t have everything.

Armstrong and Aldrin collected soil and rock samples from the Moon, and lifted off, after a scare in which the circuit breaker that activated the engine had to be jury-rigged by use of a felt-tip pen (anyone remember “It’s an inanimate carbon rod!”?) just before tea, at 17:54. The night before they returned to Earth, the three astronauts made a final broadcast from space to humanity, in which each had his own part.

Collins commented:

" ... The Saturn V rocket which put us in orbit is an incredibly complicated piece of machinery, every piece of which worked flawlessly ... We have always had confidence that this equipment will work properly. All this is possible only through the blood, sweat, and tears of a number of people ... All you see is the three of us, but beneath the surface are thousands and thousands of others, and to all of those, I would like to say, "Thank you very much."

Aldrin, unable to observe NASA protocols and keep his big yap shut about God (fucking Presbyterians!), added:

"This has been far more than three men on a mission to the Moon; more, still, than the efforts of a government and industry team; more, even, than the efforts of one nation. We feel that this stands as a symbol of the insatiable curiosity of all mankind to explore the unknown ... Personally, in reflecting on the events of the past several days, a verse from Psalms comes to mind. "When I consider the heavens, the work of Thy fingers, the Moon and the stars, which Thou hast ordained; What is man that Thou art mindful of him?"

Armstrong (possibly glaring at Aldrin, possibly not) concluded:

"The responsibility for this flight lies first with history and with the giants of science who have preceded this effort; next with the American people, who have, through their will, indicated their desire; next with four administrations and their Congresses, for implementing that will; and then, with the agency and industry teams that built our spacecraft, the Saturn, the Columbia, the Eagle, and the little EMU, the spacesuit and backpack that was our small spacecraft out on the lunar surface. We would like to give special thanks to all those Americans who built the spacecraft; who did the construction, design, the tests, and put their hearts and all their abilities into those craft. To those people tonight, we give a special thank you, and to all the other people that are listening and watching tonight, God bless you. Good night from Apollo 11.”

With the splashdown of the module and its recovery at 16:51 on July 24 1969, Kennedy’s - and America’s dream (and the Soviet Union’s nightmare) had come true: America had succeeded in sending a man (three men actually) to the Moon and returning them safely to the Earth. The race to the Moon had been won, the Space Race was over, and America had broken the tape first.

If the run-up to Apollo 8 and 10 was the foreplay and Apollo 11 the climax, then to continue the sexual metaphor, all missions after this were where America rolled over and went to sleep, occasionally farting. Tp put it in a nutshell, once the objective had been achieved and everyone had looked at the shiny object they got bored with it, and further missions were greeted with collective yawns. Other than Apollo 13, as we will see and as you surely already know. Apart from that though, there was no excitement, no anticipation, no sense of history, just a “been there, done that” sort of mentality that meant the American public turned away from future space missions.

In fact, now that (to return to the sexual thing again for a moment) the honeymoon was over and the first blush of love had worn off, people now began questioning the morality of America spending massive amounts of money - billions surely - on getting a few men to walk on a floating rock that really, nobody cared about. Considering how little was done after the historic landing, that’s hard to argue with. As ever, in America as well as all over the world poverty and homelessness continued to be major curses, as did the enormous gap between the super-rich and the super-poor, to say nothing of race. Actually, let’s say something about race.

If there was a dark side of the Moon (there isn’t) it wasn’t due to anyone with dark skin being on an Apollo mission. As Gil Scott-Heron caustically remarked in 1970, Whitey was on the Moon, and that almost disconnect from reality - considering also the US Government’s involvement in Vietnam - served to make Richard Nixon’s administration look elitist and pandering to big business, which of course it was. In the fanfare, the poor, the disenfranchised, those of a colour other than white, women and a hundred other minorities got forgotten about, pushed aside, swept away, like beggars at a banquet.

But a story for another journal, probably my History of America one, so we’ll keep it till then. Whether the American people were interested or not in the subsequent Apollo missions, we are, and so on we go.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Apollo 12
Launched: November 14 1969
Reached Destination:
Type: Lander
Crew: Charles Conrad Jr., Richard F. Gordon Jr., Alan L. Bean
Nationality: American
Results: Second lunar landing achieved without incident; US flag which had fallen as Apollo 11 had taken off replaced with a new one. Soil and rock samples taken; location of Surveyor 3 probe confirmed and parts cannibalised from it. On the way back, photograph taken of a solar eclipse.
Photographs Taken: Unknown
Returned: November 24 1969
Issues (if any): After lift-off in rainy and windy conditions, the Saturn V rocket was twice hit by lightning. This caused problems with the fuel cells, leaving the rocket flying on battery power alone (please plug your Saturn V rocket into the nearest available outlet - power now at 17%) but they were sorted. However there were fears the lightning had also knocked out the release mechanism on the parachute, which would then not deploy after re-entry. Since there was nothing they could do about it if this was the case, and the astronauts were then fated to die, nobody at the Space Centre told them. In the event, of course, there were no issues with the parachute and it deployed perfectly. NASA must have breathed a sigh of relief! I wonder if they ever told them? “Funny story, guys. You’ll laugh when you hear this but…”

Intending to broadcast live colour television footage of the second Moon landing, commander Conrad accidentally pointed the camera into the sun, which fried it and NASA’s carefully laid plans. And probably his bonus. Oops!

Apollo 13
Launched: April 11 1970
Reached Destination: Failed
Type: Lander (aborted)
Crew: James A. Lovell Jr., John L. Swigert Jr., Fred W. Haise Jr. (Why are so many astronauts junior, I wonder? Why so many named after their fathers? Very odd.)
Nationality: American
Results: Mission aborted after accident forced return to Earth
Photographs Taken: 0
Returned: April 17 1970
Issues (if any): Oh man. Well, you know: thirteen, unlucky for some, and it certainly was for these guys. As most of you have probably seen by watching the Tom Hanks movie of the same name, Apollo 13 suffered almost catastrophic engine failure on lift-off, then encountered problems with the fuel cells of the Service Module (SM) which necessitated a rapid abort and return to Earth, with no guarantee that the astronauts would make it back alive.

Ironically, when, just before the trouble started, the crew held a video introduction broadcast, none of the television networks carried it, as nobody was interested any more. Once the situation began to develop, the entire world followed developments, and in the end at least the return and finally thankfully successful splashdown of the capsule from Apollo 13 was watched by a larger audience than had watched the original Moon landing. Interested was re-awakened in the till-then-boring missions to the Moon, although in a negative way, as people, while thankful the astronauts were safe, considered how it could have been, and for the first time since Apollo 11 began to realise how dangerous it was going into space, perhaps gaining a new appreciation for the men who stepped out into the final frontier, and wondering when the next disaster might be.

No doubt the TV networks privately wished they had had some sort of linkup in the capsule to cover the actual accident and return, but then, that would have been ghoulish, wouldn’t it? What if the crew had not made it back? Well, then ratings would have gone through the… let’s not go there.

From this almost-tragedy comes the famous and oft-misquoted phrase “Houston, we have a problem” (which was actually “Houston, we’ve had a problem”). I’m not sure if the other phrase now linked with it comes only from the film or if it had anything to do with the mission, but either way I personally feel saying “failure is not an option” is stupid. Failure is always an option, or at least a possibility or an outcome. I guess essentially, no, failure is never an option, if you consider the word option means something you choose over something else: nobody wants to fail. But success is never guaranteed, so to say you simply can’t fail is disingenuous at best, naive at worst. But anyway, it’s inextricably linked with the mission now for all time, and luckily for them, failure was not the outcome.


Apollo 14
Launched: January 31 1971
Reached Destination: February 4 1971
Type: Lander
Crew: Alan B. Shepherd Jr. (again with the junior!), Stuart A. Roosa, Edgar D. Mitchell
Nationality: American
Results: Third successful Moon landing and excursion; photographs taken, rock and soil samples returned
Photographs Taken: 417
Returned: February 9 1971
Issues (if any): There were problems getting the LM to dock with the Command Module (CM) in orbit, which, if not resolved, would have made it impossible to land on the Moon, forcing a humiliating return to Earth and adding to the abject failure of Apollo 13, only a year before. Through some trickery though the LM was docked and the landing proceeded. Even then, a faulty signal kept advising the computer to abort, but this too was worked around. The landing radar also played up, but in spite of all this, the third landing of humans on the Moon was achieved. Not that anyone at this point really gave a shit. Exit from the lander was further delayed by a communications problem. The folks back home were probably watching Dallas.

Shepard did at least leave one lasting memory in the minds of the public that persisted long after the Apollo mission had been cancelled and all but forgotten about. He brought a golf club with him and drove some golf balls on the Moon, the only human ever to do so (or, probably, want to - fucking golf. Sorry). His companion, Mitchell, threw a long, thin tool like a javelin. Because, of course, of the lower gravity both projectiles flew much further than they ever would have on Earth, making the two men, had such records been allowed, easily the record holders for throwing or hitting something over such a distance. I don’t know whether Shepard had any arrangement with them, or got paid, but I expect the company that made the golf club, Wilson Sports Products, capitalised like hell on that: “Wilson: the only golf clubs used on the Moon!” or “Wilson golf clubs: they’re literally out of this world!” and so on.

Apollo 15
Launched: July 26 1971
Reached Destination: July 29 1971
Type: Lander
Crew: David R. Scott, Alfred M. Worden, James B. Irwin
Nationality: American
Results: Fourth successful Moon landing, deployment for the first time of a lunar rover, a vehicle in which the astronauts could leisurely explore the Moon instead of, as they had on the previous mission, tiring themselves out and using all their oxygen up. Performed an experiment based on Galileo’s theory that in the absence of aerodynamic drag two items of different masses and weights (in this case, a hammer and a feather) would fall at exactly the same rate. More samples of rocks taken. Scientific experiments left behind. Satellite released into orbit. First spacewalk (EVA - ExtraVehicular Activity) by an American crew.
Photographs Taken: Unknown
Returned: August 7 1971
Issues (if any): Relatively minor ones, compared to the last two missions. A malfunctioning light on a panel on the LM was a concern, in that it might accidentally fire the service propulsion system, and a broken dial on a tapemeter in the craft left shards of broken glass floating about, but both of these problems were sorted. A more serious one was a leak in the water system, but this was also repaired. The lander then came down on the rim of a crater, which made it unstable and dangerous and could have forced an abort, but they managed to stabilise it.

Interest in the Apollo program flared up again briefly with the introduction of the lunar rover, which fired the imagination of the world and no doubt appealed to car buffs too, being the very first vehicle ever driven on the surface of another planet. It was of course left behind and is still there. Other points that emerged later, which are not entirely relevant here, but refer to commercial deals made by the crew with certain patrons, were looked upon less kindly, and pretty soon the gloss was again gone off the programme, as people turned back to their ordinary day-to-day concerns and left the Moon to NASA. Apollo 16 would be the penultimate mission as the programme wound down to its conclusion.

Apollo 16
Launched: April 16 1972
Reached Destination:
Type: Lander
Crew: John W. Young, Thomas K. Mattingly II, Charles M. Duke Jr.
Nationality: American
Results: Fifth landing on the lunar surface (yawn, by now) , second lunar rover driven on the Moon, positioned with a TV camera so that it could film the departure; second satellite released, second deep space EVA performed.
Photographs Taken: Unknown
Returned: April 27 1972
Issues (if any): Very little. Problems with the lunar lander could have had the mission aborted, but they were solved and the landing went ahead as planned.

Rather upsettingly, and pre-empting a point I’ll be making at the end, one of the first things the crew did was take out the trash. I mean, come on! You arrive at a new planetoid and the first thing you want to do is dump your shit on it? Why not take it back to Earth or burn it or something? Anyway, more to come on that, you may be sure.

Apollo 17
Launched: December 7 1972
Reached Destination: December 10 1972
Type: Lander
Crew: Eugene A. Cernan, Ronald E. Evans, Harrison H. Schmitt
Nationality: American
Results: Lunar rover deployed for the third and last time on the Moon; more rocks and soil collected, scientific experiments yawn you can see how the general public soon got bored with this. Oh, and they took mice into orbit to assess the effects of cosmic rays on them. A representative for Equal Treatment for Rodents did not immediately return calls for comment.
Photographs Taken: Unknown
Returned: December 19 1972
Issues (if any): Don’t seem to have been any, proving how boring and hum-drum these missions had become.

The final words of Commander Cernan certainly ring through history, but really only because of the irony their sentiments ended up meaning:

"... I'm on the surface; and, as I take man's last step from the surface, back home for some time to come - but we believe not too long into the future - I'd like to just [say] what I believe history will record. That America's challenge of today has forged man's destiny of tomorrow. And, as we leave the Moon at Taurus-Littrow, we leave as we came and, God willing, as we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind. "Godspeed the crew of Apollo 17.”

America has not returned to the Moon almost half a century later.

The American Apollo mission programme had lasted for eleven years, landed five crews of two men (the third remained in the orbiter each time) on the surface of the Moon, returned a few kilos of Moon rock to Earth, conducted countless experiments and cost, at the time, a total of 25 billion US Dollars, which equates to 156 billion today. In terms of space exploration and scientific research (and of course of beating the Russians to it) the programme was considered a success, however once it was finished there was no follow-up, and interest in, and funding for, space exploration dried up until the twenty-first century. Now we’re planning trips to Mars, but the Moon remains forgotten and discarded, like a mountain that must be climbed but which, once conquered, is of no further interest. Projected Moon bases, colonies, even mining never materialised, and many are of the opinion that the Apollo programme was a waste of money that could have gone towards healing America’s terrestrial problems, such as housing and education.

Although the Apollo programme did unite America - and the world - at certain points, such as of course the Apollo 11 first ever Moon landing and the subsequent almost-disaster of Apollo 13, and briefly again for the first deployment of the lunar rover, interest soon waned and with that came distrust, doubt and worry about how American tax dollars were being spent. Your average Eddie Punchclock or Sally Housewife would not care that certain rocks salvaged from the lunar surface yielded this or that scientific knowledge, or that a satellite proved such and such: they were more concerned with feeding their kids and keeping, or getting a job. So to return to my criticism of the Nixon administration (and it’s not just mine of course) it does seem that priority was given almost more to style than substance. Apollo launches look good and Moon walks get you inches of newspaper coverage, but in the end is it all worth it? Is it all flash and bang and pomp and circumstance, while people starve and face injustice back on the good old Earth?

I leave you, in this section, with the words of the poet of the age, already referred to, which sum up the feelings of most ordinary, certainly most black people, about the idea of spending so much money on space exploration while there are problems back home.

A rat done bit my sister Nell.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Her face and arms began to swell.
(and Whitey's on the moon)
I can't pay no doctor bill.
(but Whitey's on the moon)
Ten years from now I'll be payin' still.
(while Whitey's on the moon)
The man jus' upped my rent las' night.
('cause Whitey's on the moon)
No hot water, no toilets, no lights.
(but Whitey's on the moon)
I wonder why he's uppi' me?
('cause Whitey's on the moon?)
I was already payin' 'im fifty a week.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Taxes takin' my whole damn check,
Junkies makin' me a nervous wreck,
The price of food is goin' up,
An' as if all that **** wasn't enough
A rat done bit my sister Nell.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Her face an' arm began to swell.
(but Whitey's on the moon)
Was all that money I made las' year
(for Whitey on the moon?)
How come there ain't no money here?
(Hm! Whitey's on the moon)
Y'know I jus' 'bout had my fill
(of Whitey on the moon)
I think I'll sen' these doctor bills,
Airmail special
(to Whitey on the moon)

“Whitey on the Moon” - Gil Scott-Heron, 1970

Over the course of seventeen missions and five lunar landings, not one black man ever crewed an Apollo spacecraft. Not one black - or even, other than white - face has been seen on the lunar surface, or in a lunar capsule. I don’t know if black people worked in the control centres (I assume quite possibly) but as far as front-line personnel goes, it seems black men were fit to fight in America’s wars but not to go into space, so it’s not hard to see how the Apollo mission and the exploration of space was seen as an exclusively white enterprise. While the last man to leave the Moon, Commander Eugene Cernan, noted rather over-optimistically that the Apollo programme had been for all men and women, it has been essentially whites in space, or as Scott-Heron puts it above, whitey on the moon.

One of the main issues I have, personally, with the Apollo and other missions is the callous disregard for its own ecosystem. Yes, it may not have an atmosphere, it may be a rock, but it’s not our personal fucking dumping ground. Aside from lunar impactors being allowed to just, well, impact on the surface of the Moon, we dropped (jettisoned is a nicer word but it means the same thing) rocket stages, control modules, service modules and other shit on the moon or into its orbit, left flags and plaques (okay they’re not so bad) and no less than three lunar rovers to sit and rust on the Moon (sure, I know: without any air how can they rust? It’s a figure of speech, dumbass) and worst of all, as alluded to earlier, we brought a fucking bag of trash to dump on the Moon!

I mean, I don’t know why we didn’t just go the whole hog and make the lunar surface our new dumpsite. Think of how much landfill would fit into those huge craters! We could toss our trash onto the high mountain sides of Olympus Mons and shit, strew the whole damn surface with our discarded crap, make the Moon the biggest floating garbage heap in space!

Have we no shame, no sense of ecological responsibility? Oh no wait: look what we’re doing and have done to our own planet. Well, the ultimate question then arises, doesn’t it?

What, after all that money and time and lives put in danger and TV coverage and study of fucking rock, has been done about the Moon? What is humanity’s plan for this barren rock which orbits our home planet? Glad you asked. Before we leave here, let’s look into the plans - realistic and fantastic - for what might happen.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Colonisation of the Moon

As we’ve seen, science fiction (and fantasy) writers have been predicting human colonisation of the Moon (and in some cases, alien colonisation or alien life anyway) for centuries now, but writing about it is relatively easy. Making it happen? Ah well now, that’s a whole different kettle of ballgames of a different colour. After a basic loss of interest in the Moon, attention is again being given to the possibility of our living or at least working there, although any such project is going to take a long time to come to fruition obviously.

The first real attempts to return to the Moon seem to centre on the Artemis Project, a programme led by the USA but with other nations involved, whose main goal, this time, is to land the first woman on the Moon. You can’t help but think that’s due to social pressure, that NASA doesn’t really care about that, and that it’s all for the cameras in a PC world. Not that I have any problem with a woman walking on the Moon, but you’d think it would have been something that they might have tackled before closing off the Apollo program, no? Anyway, that’s the goal for 2024. They also intend to create what they call “a sustainable human presence on the Moon”. Whether this means a base, colony or what I don’t know at the moment but I guess we’ll find out. Oh, and they’re tendering for businesses to get involved. Just great. Commercialisation of the Moon, why not?

The first spaceflight in this program, Artemis 1, was originally due to be launched in November of this year, but there have been delays, and though it doesn’t say so, I have to assume unrest in the USA since the election of 2020 and the impact of Covid-19 has contributed to that delay. Tentative launch date has now been moved to either later December or early January of 2022.I shudder when I hear such phrases as “lunar economy”, but I guess that’s how things are headed now. By 2026 it’s envisioned there will be a space station in orbit called Lunar Gateway and the fifth Artemis mission will dock there. The HLS - Human Landing System - is under development by - guess who? Yeah. SpaceX, otherwise known as Elon Musk’s baby. They’re going to be responsible for the other space vehicles too, known as Falcon Heavy and DragonXL (sounds like a video game). Guess the Simpsons were right, and soon the Moon will belong to America, in a very real sense.

The Russians, long forgotten and left behind in the Space Race though are not to be left out, and are developing their own system of Moon bases, under the code name Luna-Glob. They intend their lunar bases to be robotic though, cutting out the need for those pesky humans and, possibly, providing a staging area from which the newly-sentient robots and machines can launch a pre-emptive strike against Earth. Nah, it’s only robotic while it’s being built, then the evil humans will arrive to oppress their robotic slaves. The Russians are being a little more realistic in their ambitions here than the US, planning to only begin construction of the base, to be named Lunny Poligon, or Lunar Range after 2030. Its first orbiter and lander missions are scheduled to take place from 2022.

In our new environment of (incredibly super-super-rich) space entrepreneurism, although NASA and other government agencies are still in the driving seat for such projects, independent, self-financed plans are being drawn up by, among others, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos to either help or head missions to the Moon with a view to colonisation, or at least the establishment of bases there. In a warped and twisted way, this makes perfect sense. The richest people in the world want to get richer (they ain’t offering their services for free, folks!) and intend to exploit, rather than explore, the final frontier in order to do so. That may seem a little cynical, but you can bet that the first lunar bases Bezos establishes will have links to Amazon, and SpaceX is unlikely to face any competition in the contract to supply ships, launchers and whatever else is needed in their efforts.

The nightmare vision of an Amazon-controlled Moon scares the shit out of me (although I do recall, with a grin, the B-movie Amazon Women on the Moon!) but there is of course no way we can prevent that. Both Bezos and Musk have more money each than the US Government probably, and where there’s money there’s power. They also have the research and the people to run it, so NASA and the like will have no real choice but to involve them. Let’s just hope that when they get their bases built you don’t need like an Amazon Prime account to go there or something!

There may be an alternative though. The Open Lunar Foundation is a collection of Silicon Valley entrepreneurs whose stated objective is to “allow denizens of all nations to participate in building a peaceful and cooperative lunar settlement.” Sounds promising, doesn’t it? I don't know any of these people but maybe you do. They include Steve Jurvetson, Will Marshall, Chelsea Robinson, Jessy Kate Schingler, Chris Hadfield, and Pete Worden. They seem to believe they can establish a lunar base with less than five billion. Sure where does five billion go these days? Still, compared to NASA estimates I bet it's a drop in the ocean.

Speaking of which, the confirmation of lunar ice – which would mean that there is water there somewhere, as already discussed multiple times in this article – was one of the driving forces that led to rekindled interest in the moon as a colony. One of the main stumbling blocks had always been the difficulty of transporting water there, as it was believed there was no native source. Now that it has been more or less discovered that there is, colonisation efforts can go ahead and now it looks like we're back in the Space Race again, as governments and even private corporations and individuals race to be the first to get their lunar base built.

But of course, it's not going to be as easy as just deciding to build one. There are several serious problems to living and working on the Moon which will need to be overcome before we can even consider beginning construction. One of the major ones is the length of the lunar night, which is about 27 Earth days. That's a long time to lie awake waiting for the morning, but more to the point, it will increase the amount of solar powered light required to light the night, as it's exceptionally unlikely everyone will go to bed for a month! So we'll have to be able to work, ahem, through the night, and that means we need to be able to push back the darkness. Can you imagine the power consumption needed to run lights for a month straight?

Here's another of those videos made for kids. At least, I assume it's for kids. It's ironically great.

And then there's the cold. The Moon is not a warm place, and while obviously there would have to be habitation domes built (we couldn't just live out on the surface) the method of keeping them permanently heated is another problem. We've determined that there is water on the Moon, but we don't know for sure how deep or where it is, and it may prove hard or even impossible to access, in which case we will have to look for alternative methods of harvesting water, perhaps from passing comets or asteroids. Sounds like fun. There's danger from exposure to cosmic rays (cosmic, man!) which batter the Moon all the time, and proton exposure from the solar wind. The Moon's magnetic field is not our friend either. Moon dust is sticky and abrasive, and may also be poisonous. It certainly will be a hazard to machinery, floating around and sticking to everything. And how exactly do we grow food on this barren, desolate rock? Our native crops and plants aren't used to a night that lasts so long, and likely would not survive it.

Where would the bases go? Given the discovery of water at the poles, and also the areas there that receive perpetual sunlight (known as “peaks of eternal light”) at the north pole, this might seem a good choice. Still, it should be noted that this sunlight does nothing to warm up the Moon, which, even at these points, never climbs above -53 degrees Celcius and can fall to twice that. There are natural formations on the Moon which may help create the buildings for bases, such as lunar tubes, hollow remnants of the passage of volcanic lava flows, although ideas have included inflatable habitats and even cannibalised spacecraft. Also considered are underground bases and, um, ones printed on a 3D printer. No, really.

Energy sources could be nuclear (which would of course require the construction of a nuclear reactor on the Moon – wonder what Greenpeace think about that?) or solar, utilising the already-mentioned peaks of eternal light. Rovers would probably be utilised, and expanded to take more than one or two passengers, or even railway systems, probably using the Maglev (Magnetic levitation) models. Then there is even the possibility of a flying lunar vehicle: I guess, given the much lower gravity on the Moon this would be easier to achieve than it would be on Earth. And then we're back talking about space elevators again, but we move swiftly on to discuss the perhaps valid question of why anyone would want to live, or even work on the Moon?

I suppose, given the rapid population explosion we've seen here in the last two centuries it might be expedient, even necessary to find somewhere else to live for some of the population, and of course if it's a military base (which surely at least one of them is bound to be) you'll go where you're told. But I doubt it could ever be much fun there. It would be interesting to hear of the first humans born on the Moon, and then whether they would owe allegiance to Earth or to its satellite, especially should some sort of conflict... but now we're getting far beyond the realm of speculation and into that of science fiction, which is not the remit of this particular part of the article, so we'll drop that.

New and more efficient spacecraft are already being designed, as the Saturn V rockets which blasted Apollo spacecraft into orbit and even their successors are unlikely to be viable for the Moon missions and voyages of the future. But get ready to dig deep for those freight rates, calculated (admittedly at the upper end) at around 40 million dollars PER KILO! You'll certainly be making sure everything is weighed properly before you send it to or from the Moon! Some of the costs may be offset by export from the Moon to Earth; one of the proposed commodities could be helium-3, which occurs in the solar wind and is very scarce back home. What little there is sells for about 1.5 million dollars per kilo, more than a hundred times the price of gold. Helium-3 could be used in the future in thermonuclear reactors.

Whatever happens on the Moon, it will be in our future but that looks to be at least interesting. After being ignored for almost forty years, while interest is not exactly at fever pitch, with such projects as the Mars and Pluto missions taking up most of the media attention, the Moon is at least back on our radar, and who knows, some day someone may read this and marvel that some stupid Irishman thought the idea of building a lunar moonbase far-fetched, as he or she look out through specially tinted and reinforced windows at the busy scene of trains thundering across the lunarscape while flying cars zoom overhead, pop their hologram generator on and roll their eyes as they enjoy the sixteenth reunion of all the dead members of the Rolling Stones.

But for us, that's it. We've spent much longer on the Moon than I had intended, and my fingers are tired tapping out on this ancient keyboard, writing much more than I believed I ever would or could on a potentially dead piece of rock orbiting our home planet. I guess it just proves that even something that seems boring and humdrum can yield some really interesting stories and information.

But if the Moon is one of our most universally recognised and loved celestial symbols, there's another one, off there to the right, that has tickled our fancy and fired our imaginations even more, and that's our next stop.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

Are you aware of the conspiracy that the moon doesn't exist

__________________

Trollheart

Sssh! You want a midnight visit from the Illuminati? You crazy?

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018