The Batlord's Kitchen Sink Journal of Anything and Everything He Wants to Write About

[The Batlord]

Instead of being like Trollheart and making a journal anytime I feel like concentrating on some subject or other, I'm just going to use this as a place to write about everything I might decide to cover: music, games, TV, philosophical drabbles, movies, getting baked/drunk and writing a rambling post about nothing in particular just to see what comes out for my own personal amusement, etc. As such, I'll be closing my music journal, The Batlord Listens to Random **** and Talks About It, since this will include anything I would normally put there (My comic book journal will remain, however, as I want to keep that subject pure.)

Don't know just how much I'll be writing about any one thing, or how regularly I'll be updating this -- since I'm so uncharacteristically busy these days -- but I just like the idea of having a journal that's completely unrestricted.

Stay tuned, losers...

[The Batlord]

Megadeth - Countdown to Extinction (1992)

It's been well-documented on this site how I feel about Dave Mustaine: love Megadeth's first four albums (and certain songs from their later albums) but I can't stand what their music became in later years (whether it be their inconsistent pop metal, or their mind-bogglingly tepid return to pseudo-thrash); and while I love Dave's Oasis-like egomaniacal douchiness, his right wing, Reborn Christian rantings are just annoying.

Regardless, along with Metallica and Iron Maiden, they were one of the bands that really introduced me to metal. Metallica were my first love, but once I became disillusioned by wannabe-teenage integrity at them for "selling out", Megadeth went from my second favorite band to #1 -- which is ironic considering that they did the exact same thing at exactly the same time. Still, it makes sense since I got into them through their same '90s period that made me drop Metallica like a bad habit.

No matter how I feel about Dave and the boys now, I will always be a mega fan for their place in my childhood. I worshipped the ground they and especially Dave walked on for far too long to ever write them off in my heart of hearts. Even Slayer doesn't evoke the same kind of warm-hearted nostalgia.

These days, however, I couldn't give less of a **** about most of their post-Rust in Peace material (cause why would you?) and Countdown to Extinction is where I draw the line. It has the same problems as Metallica's self-titled album which it attempted to ape: boring thrash-lite songs, complemented by legitimately entertaining pop metal that unfortunately gets worse with every listen.

But what separates the two albums is that Metallica were just better at their transition, and James Hetfield's toned down vocals weren't nearly as embarrassing as Dave Mustaine's.

So here I am, giving this album yet another chance to reconvert me (I really did love it when I was 15). It's been... years I guess, since I listened to it in its entirety, so perhaps my feelings will have softened. Since I'm so familiar with this album, I'm going to do this track-by-track as I listen to it.

*Full disclosure: for years my only copy of this album was a burned CD that was corrupted and somehow deleted several of the tracks ("Foreclosure of a Dream", "Countdown to Extinction", and "Sweating Bullets"), so it'll probably be almost like listening to them for the first time.

Let's do this...

1. Skin O' My Teeth: I was well aware that whatever my feelings about this album, this would be one of the songs that still stuck with me. This is pop metal at its finest. The riffs are badass yet fun, Dave's vocals energetic, and there's just a kick-in-the-pants quality that every album opener should have. I'll try to use this as a springboard for listening to this album objectively, but I can't promise anything.

2. Symphony of Destruction: It was either this or "Motopsycho" (the single from their then current album The World Needs a Hero) that was my introduction to Megadeth, so this song has extra nostalgia for me. Still love it, too. That main riff might be nothing like the technical wizardry of their earlier work, but god damn is it heavy as ****. Two tracks of awesomeness to start this album off, but I know full well that what comes next will be the drop off...

3. Architecture of Aggression: The first of many supremely awful song titles on this album, this was probably the song I loved most after I'd heard the actual best songs on this album way too many times. This is some of that tepid, thrash-lite I was referring to. It's got a pretty catchy chorus if you ignore the cringe-worthy lyrics ("You know your worth when your enemies
praise your architecture of aggression!" blech) and some tasty riffs, but otherwise it's not exactly noteworthy.

4. Foreclosure of a Dream: God damn it, I was not looking forward to rediscovering this song. Even back when I was still a hopeless fanboy I wasn't too broken up when my faulty copy of this album dropped this song. It was Megadeth's first attempt at a ballad -- presumably to copy the success of "The Unforgiven" and "Nothing Else Matters" -- but it's a dull, monumental misstep. Thankfully the band would get things together on the next album with "A Tout Le Monde", but this isn't half as good as that song. It's only real saving grace is a nice riff that pops up when the band can be bothered to stop with the ****ty balladery.

God that title sucks. Almost so bad it's good. Almost.

5. Sweating Bullets: I'm pretty sure I first heard this on an anime music video, and I loved every second of it. Not so much right now. It's alright, a 6/10 song if ever I've heard one, but it's not thrashy enough to be properly badass, and not catchy enough to really grab me. I'm struck by just how goofy Dave's vocals are (even more so than before), but their cheesiness is actually kind of charming. They're pretty much the only truly memorable thing about this. I could only ever love this song as a teenager.

6. This Was My Life: Another one of those poppy, thrash-lite songs. As with so many tracks on this album, the only things of note are a mildly catchy chorus and some moderately cool riffs. And even those are pretty much interchangeable with any other similar songs. Maybe that's the real tragedy of this album: sameness. At least "Sweating Bullets" had some personality. Not too many truly bad songs on this disc, just too many that don't stick out in any way.

7. Countdown to Extinction: I have no real memory of what this song sounded like or how good it was, so I don't know what to expect from this. Kinda sounding like a quasi-ballad, but I don't remember it being nearly as awful as "Foreclosure of a Dream". This is definitely pop metal, but it feels more like the kind of pseudo-hard rock the band would write for Cryptic Writings. Best chorus since "Symphony of Destruction", but the song as a whole isn't too memorable. At least Cryptic Writings had some pseudo-hard rock that stuck in your head, but this is just pseudo-filler. I'll give it a pseudo-thumbs up.

8. High Speed Dirt: Hell yes! This song has that same power pop energy as "Skin O' My Teeth", and it's almost as memorable. Just a fun romp that this album is in desperate need of. I don't know if I would even classify this as metal, but who ****ing cares. It just rules.

9. Psychotron: God this song is dumb. As far as I can tell it's a song about a killer cyborg that isn't at all metaphorical. Why Dave thought any of the fans he was trying to court would give a flying **** about the lyrics is beyond me, so it's a minor miracle that it's saved by being one of the heaviest songs on the album (second only to "Symphony of Destruction"). It's definitely not as good, but with the addition of one of the few choruses that rise above simply being "kind of catchy" it's still better than "This Was My Life". I remember loving this song as a kid, and now I remember why. It's not a forgotten classic or anything (the monotonous vocals on the verses drag it down too much for that) but it's still one of the better songs on Countdown to Extinction.

10. Captive Honour: Until I rediscovered how ****ty "Foreclosure of a Dream" was, this was by far my most hated song on this album. Multiple, overlong, spoken word bits at the beginning make this song drag before it has the chance to even get off the ground, and the fact that it doesn't know if it wants to be a boring ballad or faceless pseudo-thrash just make this song complete garbage. It's one of those songs that is too annoying to even qualify as filler. It just plain sucks.

**** you, Dave. **** you.

11. Ashes in Your Mouth: Yet another lobotomized "thrash" song to cap this album off. It would have been nice for Megadeth to have gone out with a bang to leave a better taste in my mouth, but this is what I get instead. It's certainly not the worst song on Countdown to Extinction, but it's yet another good-but-not-great song with some decent riffs that could have been switched out with the riffs from any other song without anyone noticing.

Weak sauce, Dave. Weak sauce.


Well, has my opinion changed at all over the years? Not ****ing really. I like the same songs I did back then, I hate the same songs (with the notable addition of "Foreclosure of a Dream"), and my indifference to the rest hasn't changed either. It's been too long for me to really even tell if I like or dislike this album even vaguely more or less than I used to. I honestly don't know how I feel about Countdown to Extinction: do I kind of like it for not entirely sucking? Do I dislike it for being pretty boring? Do I hate it for being the beginning of the end for one of my most beloved bands of all time? **** if I know. I suppose my indifferent ambivalence is the real verdict.

What the ****, Dave? What the ****?

[The Batlord]

Metallica - Metallica (1991)

**** it, I think I'm gonna revisit a few more metal albums from my younger days that I haven't listened to in years out of indifference. I mentioned in the above review that Metallica were my gateway to metal, and I can't overemphasize that. The first four albums I ever bought were Master of Puppets, Load, Reload, and Ride the Lightning. I was quite simply obsessed and listened to almost nothing else for god knows how long.

I loved Metallica like I've loved no other band before or since. Maybe that's down to being older and less passionate about things in general, but I think it's also because my eventual disillusionment with them being sellouts* left me too scarred to ever really give my heart and soul to a band like I did with them. I honestly don't even really feel nostalgia toward Metallica, so deeply did I cut out any positive feelings toward them I had as a kid.

It's no wonder I went straight to Megadeth and Dave Mustaine afterward. We both shared a hated enemy who we wanted to see dead (Luckily we've both moved on from such childishness. >_>)

* It was no later than 2002-2003 when I made this "discovery". Hey, we were all mindless sheep when we were in high school.

But that's neither here nor there. So, The Black Album. Haven't listened to this album in dogs' years, and I've somehow been able to avoid "Enter Sandman" for so long that it's entirely possible that my overexposure to it has worn off. Not gonna hold my breath though. I heard that song WAY too many ****ing times in high school. Way too many ****ing times. It was the early 2000s and my local rock radio station was still playing it seemingly every hour on the hour.

**** it, all the things I said about Countdown to Extinction pretty much apply to my current opinion of The Black Album, so let's just get down to business...

1. Enter Sandman: Damn. Jumping right into the deep end, huh. Well, let's see if my indifference has worn off.

That is a pretty cool build up. I'll give the song that. And it kicks off pretty hard as well. Nah, though. The initial thrill has still worn off. It's certainly a catchy song, but... I'm over it as much as I ever was. Without that kick-in-the-nuts ear worm quality, this song just doesn't have enough going for it to reignite any fire under my ass.

Two minutes left and I'm already waiting for it to be over. Why was this ever my favorite song in all the world again?

2. Sad but True: Don't get me wrong, I'd probably like this song a lot better if "Harvester of Sorrow" hadn't already existed. Metallica just self-plagiarized themselves with this one, and dumbed themselves down in the process. The original is brutal as all ****, but this just isn't nearly as good.

And again, I've just heard this far too many times for it to have much impact. It just feels like I left a boring conversation in a party to go smoke a cigarette, forgot exactly what the people were talking about, came back in, and then remembered why I left in the first place. And now I'm kept hostage, since leaving a second time would just be rude.

3. Holier than Thou: Finally, a song I haven't heard five million and one times. And I was already over the band by the time I got into marathon music downloading sessions, so I don't think I ever even listened to this that many times.

I'm getting the same lobotomized thrash vibe that I did from a lot of Countdown to Extinction, but at least this pulls off the arena hard rock thing off with more personality than that album [I'm looking this over after about a half hour later, and I take it all back. Up with Countdown and **** this ****]. Still, I'm only mildly interested. Maybe I shouldn't have burned myself out on mediocre Megadeth, cause mediocre Metallica is becoming a chore.

What's next? "The Unforgiven"? Good. I actually still like that song.

4. The Unforgiven: I love the epic, tragic vibe of this song. Even though I've heard it more times than the sound of my hand on my penis it's still pretty great. Just metal enough to be badass, melodic enough to tug at the heart strings, and it's somehow catchy in a low-key kind of way that doesn't become irritating with overexposure.

Maybe a bit overlong, but I'm probably just in need of some powerviolence after all this tepid hard rock/metal-lite.

5. Where Ever I May Roam: Probably the only other overexposed song that I have hope of still liking. It's different enough, with too much coolness going on, for me to ever truly get over. Yeah, it's sounding pretty nice.

Alright, maybe I have heard this too many times. The main riff is awesome, but not enough to keep me from getting bored for a whole six minutes and forty-four seconds. Yeah I'm fading. At least the songs on Countdown were short, but there are way, WAY too many songs over five minutes on this thirteen-song album.

Wait a minute, why is "So What?" at the end? That was most definitely not on The Black Album. I guess they've since thrown it on as a bonus track? Whatevs. I remember it being a fun song.

6. Don't Tread on Me: I know I said in the last review that James' vocals on this album weren't as embarrassing as Dave's on his, but at least Mustaine's goofy singing had character. James Hetfield is just boring as a hard rock singer. On paper he's any band's dream, but... I don't know. I just don't at all care about what he's doing.

I remember that I'd never heard this song on the radio, and then 9/11 hit and it was everywhere. Of course us Americans were all about it back then, cause 'Murica, but now it's just bleeding into the rest of the surprisingly faceless pseudo-thrash on this album. Which is weird, cause they don't all sound alike, but they all have some variation of the same unmemorable chugging riffs.

7. Through the Never: And yet another interchangeable not-thrash tune, except that this is one of the filler tracks on the album. So it's even more unmemorable. God, now I wish I could go listen to Countdown to Extinction. I think I might after this, just out of spite.

The old, childhood hate is slowly returning, except due to boredom rather than some silly sense of betrayal.

Aw, ****! The next song is...

8. Nothing Else Matters: **** me. This song is six and a half minutes long and I'm already bored from the last seven songs. Remember how I said Metallica plagiarized themselves with "Sad but True"? Well this is a second-rate dead ringer for "Fade to Black" (which is one of my all-time fav Metallica tunes, unlike this snoozefest).

When James sings "Never cared for what they do! Never cared for what they know! But I know!", it just sounds so awful. You can't sing, dumbass. Stop trying. You got away with it on "The Unforgiven", but you've lost the plot on this one. God, now that I'm paying attention his whole performance on this song is just an abortion.

Is this song over? I think so. Yup. Thank god. Never realized just how much I hated it. I always thought I was just indifferent. I was wrong.

9. Of Wolf and Man: I have some hope for this song. I seem to remember still digging it even after I stopped liking this album, so it's possible this could rejuvenate me. Yeah, the chugging riffs are a bit more memorable this time, and it's only a little over four minutes long.

But there are still four more songs I have to slog through. I wasn't prepared for just how much I don't care about The Black Album. I seriously didn't start this for the express purpose of ****ting on it, it just sorta happened. I think I might actually rather listen to St. Anger to be perfectly honest, but don't quote me on that. I'd definitely rather listen to Load or Reload.

10. The God That Failed: Alright, this is yet another mid-paced chugger, but that's a pretty sweet riff. Okay, only five minutes long. That's not too bad. I can last this one out without hating its guts. Probably. Don't quote me on that.

11. My Friend of Misery: I was just going back to make a comment in the middle of song three, so I missed the transition, but **** this song too. And it's almost seven god damn minutes long. I guess they justify that by making it kinda ballady (cause ballads need to be long, right?) but really it's just more boring, mid-paced, boring, tepid, boring rock-thrash. God damn it.

How much left? Only two and a half minutes? Good? Still too damn long.

12. The Struggle Within: And here we come to the last of the filler tracks, and the end of the album. Thank. ****ing. God. I was ready for Countdown to be over, but I wasn't praying for it. Jesus Christ.

Oh my god, James Hetfielf may even sound ****tier here than on "Nothing Else Matters" (I just had to take almost ten seconds to remember the title because that's how fried my brain is from the deluge of mediocrity). He's got this goofy rhythm going on that makes it clear why they stuck this (thankfully short) ****fest at the back of this album.

**** it. I'm cheating.

*skip*

13. So What?: Seriously, does anyone else remember this song being on this album? I thought it was some cover from Garage Inc. I also don't remember it being this boring. It's not awful or anything, but whatever the original sounds like must have far more energy than this. Merely a meh, rather than a "**** all of this and everything that Lars Ulrich cares about !".

NO NO NO NO DON'T YOU DARE START TO REPLAY!!! **** YOU, "ENTER SANDMAN"!!! **** YOU SO HARD!!!


Alright, so, that wasn't good. Honestly, each individual song isn't so bad, and a few of them are even good, but when taken all in one sitting, one HOUR AND SIX MINUTE LONG SITTING, it becomes torture. My indifferent quasi-dislike has just become a grudge. Next time some twat comes to this site with an "Everybody hates on this album, but it's not nearly as bad as all these mindless sheep make it out to be" or a "Say whatever you want to about it, but it sold more copies than you ever could" or even "It's not that great, but I still kinda like it", I'm going to jump down their throat and **** them in the mouth. Seriously. The Black Album just made an enemy.

Someone get me Dave Mustaine's number.

[Wpnfire]

You forgot to talk about the overproduced, POS album cover.

[The Batlord]

The Batlord More Succinctly Reviews The Black Album

Spoiler for 01:

Spoiler for 02:

Spoiler for 03:

Any questions?

[Oriphiel]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

The Batlord More Succinctly Reviews The Black Album

Spoiler for 01:

Spoiler for 02:

Spoiler for 03:

Any questions?

Breaking it was too quick and merciful a death. Don't you own a flamethrower?

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Breaking it was too quick and merciful a death. Don't you own a flamethrower?

I considered taking my lighter to it, but I'd want to make a video of that, and I'm too lazy to figure out how to upload one to Youtube. The pieces are still here, though, so stay tuned... maybe.

[Unknown Soldier]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

The Batlord More Succinctly Reviews The Black Album

Spoiler for 01:

Spoiler for 02:

Spoiler for 03:

Any questions?

You must have good eyes to see that tiny tv screen behind you

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by Unknown Soldier

You must have good eyes to see that tiny tv screen behind you

I don't use that TV. It's just kind of there, collecting dust. Never hurts to have an extra TV around.

And sitting directly to the left of the TV? The Death Star.

[Unknown Soldier]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I don't use that TV. It's just kind of there, collecting dust. Never hurts to have an extra TV around.

And sitting directly to the left of the TV? The Death Star.

Is it like this Death Star, as I had this when I was a kid.