Trollheart

Couldn't afford the copyright. And what is that new avatar of yours?
Anyway, you had a break from me for nearly seven months: wasn't that enough? Don't answer that.

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The Batlord

Autopsy. You'd love them. I swear.

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Trollheart

Oh yeah. Think someone recommended one of their albums for Metal Month at one point. If I remember correctly, I hated it.

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The Batlord

Gonna need a link.

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Trollheart

http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ml#post1497931

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The Batlord

Oh wait, when was that written? Over two years ago? When your view of metal was vastly different? STFU

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Trollheart

Yeah, and even then you can see I wasn't dismissing it entirely. Might be time to have a listen for the old metal journal. Maybe...

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The Batlord

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Trollheart

First Posted in The Couch Potato, June 3 2013



Title: The odd couple
Year: 1968
Genre: Comedy
Starring: Jack Lemmon as Felix Ungar
Walter Matthau as Oscar Madison
John Fiedler as Vinnie
Herb Edelman as Murray
David Sheiner as Roy
Larry Haines as Speedy
Director: Gene Saks
Writer: Neil Simon

One of my all-time top three favourite movies, there are two words that aptly and perfectly describe why this is such a great movie: Lemmon and Matthau. One of the best double acts since Hope and Crosby, these two guaranteed - guara-an-teed! - an excellent film just by their mere presence. I've always loved Jack Lemmon as an actor, and while I can, in general, take or leave Walter Matthau on his own, when put together these two guys were just comedy gold. Even though neither did stupid pratfalls or necessarily said anything overtly funny, it's the chemisty between the two - rarely seen before or since - that truly marks them out as one of the greatest pairings of all time.

Written by Neil Simon from his play of the same name, the film was so successful that it gave birth to a whole TV series, starring Tony Randall and Jack Klugman, which I remember watching as a kid without even realising it was based on this movie.

Felix Ungar (Lemmon) arrives at a New York motel looking down and dishevelled, and requests a room. When asked for how long, he mutters "Not very long". He is in fact intending killing himself, having been thrown out of his house by his long-suffering wife. As he checks into his grotty room a woman on the other side bids him goodnight, and he tells her "Goodbye". He carefully places all his personal effects in an addressed envelope, but then in a master stoke of finding comedy in tragedy, in seeing something amusing in the attempts of a man to end a life he believes has nothing left to offer him, Simon has Lemmon try to remove his wedding ring. No matter how hard he tries it will not budge, and he eventually has to leave it on.

He puts the envelope, now sealed and we can see addressed to "My wife and loving children" on the dresser, and heads to the window, but fate again mocks him, as he cannot open it. Being a cheap, nasty motel the room's window is stuck, fused shut, and he cannot jump as he had originally intended. As he's struggling with the uncooperative window his back goes out, and he has to lie down, consider his next move. He decides to leave the hotel room and staggers downstairs and out into the street, his back giving him hell.

He wanders till he comes across a cafe where there is some sort of party going on. He enters and sits, watching the dancing girls and listening to the music. However, he is not to be allowed any respite, as as he knocks back his drink his neck goes, and in terrible pain he hobbles out of the party, back into the street along which he wanders till his tired feet bring him along the waterfront. He stares down at the river, thinking about throwing himself in, then looks up at the lights of a nearby building, recognising it as the one where his old friend, Oscar Madison lives.

The action switches to that building, where we see four guys sitting around a card table, bickering as men do when playing poker. One of them worries where Felix is: he's very late for their card game. They call in to Oscar (Matthau) who is in the kitchen, plundering the food. They ask him to call Felix, but he ignores them. He opens cans of beer and it shoots everywhere, to the chagrin of the guys. It doesn't seem to bother Oscar though: he's obviously something of a slob. Murray gets a call to tell the guys that Felix has gone missing; his wife doesn't know where he is. When Oscar rings her she tells him that they broke up, and the guys start to worry, especially when Frances, Felix's wife, told her he was going out to kill himself.

Meanwhile Felix, who has decided to go to the game after the stuck window thwarted his plans to see if there is an afterlife, gets caught in the lift doors as he exits, adding a sore arm now to his already sore neck and back. The guys, anxious to pretend they don't know anything about what has happened in order not to tip him over the edge, relax and act as if everything is fine. They try a little too hard though, almost ignoring him and making him even more miserable than he already is. Suddenly the card game is forgotten as Felix declares he does not want to play, and heads to the toilet. The guys, afraid he might kill himself while in there, rush after him and hear him crying in there. They don't know what to do.

When he comes back out of the toilet he tries to maintain the pretence but quickly breaks down. He goes to leave, and there follows a comic chase as his friends try to stop him doing anything silly. He manages to lock himself in one of the rooms, they break down the door and rush to the open window, fearing the worst. From behind the door comes the plaintive complaint "Oh! My back! My back!" and the door swings back to reveal Felix flattened against it, cartoon-style. When he then tells them that he took a whole bottle of pills they go into overdrive, trying to get the pills up, trying to keep him awake, considering phoning the ambulance for him, but he finally manages to tell them he already threw up.

When the lads leave, Oscar and Felix go for a walk, then end up in a cafe where Felix immediately starts displaying his weird little quirks. The air conditioner is too cold - he says he never lets his wife turn theirs on in the summer, to which Oscar remarks she must love that! - and he has an odd sinus condition that seems to affect his ears too. He starts making weird noises. I can't really describe it. It's like he's trying to clear his throat, blow his nose and suck in air all at once. Here, watch this clip:



Everyone thinks there's something wrong with him.

Felix discusses with his friend how annoying he was to live with, but Oscar invites him to move in. Felix is delighted, and says he'll be able to pitch in around the place. And indeed he does. The next week, when the guys come over for poker, it is a very different apartment they find. Everything is clean and tidy, there's cold beer - cold! - and coasters, and Felix is serving munchies from a hostess trolley. He's also fussing around like a housewife, telling the guys not to get marks on anything, frowning at the cigar smoking, and making special sandwiches. Oscar is slowly simmering like a stew coming to the boil. His voice is low and dead, and you can tell that he's waiting to explode. He tells Murray, who is a cop, he'll pay him two hundred dollars for his gun. When Roy realises that Felix has disinfected the cards he leaves, following Speedy, who has already lost patience with Felix's new cleaning regime.

In the course of an escalating argument about why Felix has to have everything just-so, he takes up a cup and goes to throw it against the wall. When he grins, shakes his head at his own impetuosity and puts it back, Oscar goads him into throwing it, telling him it'll make him feel better: he doesn't have to be so controlling all the time, let himself go. Eventually Felix does throw the cup, but a) it hits the wall without breaking (somehow) and b) he hurts his shoulder! Oscar tells him he's a hopeless case. They decide to go out, rather than end up killing each other.

In an attempt to break the monotony, draw Felix out of himself and get himself some, Oscar arranges a double date. However of course it doesn't go according to plan; Felix, who only agreed to the date after constant haranguing by Oscar, is ill-at-ease and not at all comfortable, and falls back on the only thing he can think of to keep the dying conversation going when his friend goes to get drinks: his failed marriage. and the two sisters spend the night consoling Felix, crying with him. When they then suggest that the boys come up to their room Oscar is delighted (especially as it's very hot up there and clothes may be an optional extra) but Felix does not want to go. As the girls were very taken with his roommate, Oscar doesn't think there's much point in his going alone.

Now there's a wall of silence between the two. Not a word is exchanged, but black looks are. Oscar does his best to spoil Felix's attempts at cleaning, making things dirty and untidy just as Felix gets them sorted, and Felix retaliates by switching off the TV programme Oscar is watching (this is in an era, remember, long before remote controls). Tempers finally snap when Oscar hurls a plate of linguini at the wall, and forbids Felix to clean it up. Their arguments turn violent and Oscar chases Felix up to the roof, then tells him to leave. Felix eventually agrees, but tells Oscar it is on his head, which despite the high-running tempers worries Oscar, considering what happened at the beginning of the movie.

Of course, he feels guilty afterwards and he and the guys go looking for his ex-roommate, but it turns out that he has taken refuge in the flat of the two sisters: he's fallen on his feet again!

Classic scenes

Oh where do I start? This movie has so many! Almost every scene is class, but to pick a few out:

"It's linguini, you fool!"
Just before their cold-treatment reaches fever pitch, Felix sits at the poker table with his dinner. Oscar, annoyed at Felix just having turned his ball game off on the TV, comes over and says "Get that spaghetti off my poker table!" Felix just sits there, laughing as if at some private joke, which makes Oscar even more angry. "What's so funny?" he demands, and Felix sniggers "That's not spaghetti: it's linguini, you fool!" Whereupon Oscar grabs the plate, takes it into the kitchen, flings it against the wall and declares "Now it's garbage!"

Sinuses
Already demonstrated in the attached YouTube, it's a hilarious scene which shows how neurotic Felix is, and how much of a pain he can be as he tries to clear his sinuses in a restaurant, while everyone looks on and wonders if there's something wrong with him. Felix, though, is so wrapped up in himself that he can't see the looks he's getting, and anyway, to him this is normal behaviour. He just doesn't even consider that it could be seen as odd.

"Not quite a perfect date"
The scene where Felix, left alone with the girls while Oscar fixes the drinks (seriously: how long can that take? It seems to be about ten minutes before he returns) desperately searching for conversational topics, takes out the pictures of his kids, leading to a sobbing session as he recalls his family, Cecily her own dead husband and Gwendolyn her failed relationship. Oscar breezes back in, expecting to see everyone chatting and laughing, and is confronted by a scene straight out of a wake!

"Poker was never meant to be played like this!"
Havign established himself at Oscar's home, Felix makes sure everyone at the card game has (and uses) coasters for their drinks, eats over the plates, and sprays air freshener around like it's going out of fashion. He also plugs in a dehumidifier, which one of the guys complains is "sucking all the air out of the room". When the guys realise though that he has washed the cards they're playing with, it's the final straw and the game breaks up.

"A triple play!"
I know, and want to know, nothing about baseball, but apparently a "triple play" is rare? When Oscar, commentating on a game (he's a sports writer) has a chance to see one, he is distracted by a totally unnecessary phone call from Felix, and can't believe that he's missed it!

"Looney Tunes"
When Felix is trying to take the vacuum cleaner into the kitchen, he leaves the cable strung out on the living room floor and tries to pull it after him. Oscar quite deliberately steps on it, stopping him. Looking in, Felix sees what he's at and loops the cable around his shoulder, ready to give it a hard tug. Just as he does, Oscar lifts his foot and the sudden release of pressure and his own momentum send Felix flying, and we hear the sounds of crashing, things breaking, things falling. With a satisfied grin on his face, Oscar walks off.

"What time do you call this?"
As they prepare for their big date, Oscar comes in late and Felix takes him to task, asking him why he is late and almost sobbing that his meatloaf wil be ruined. He's just like a wife, even complaining about "slaving over a meal" while Oscar makes some excuse about working late, which Felix triumphantly dismisses, saying he phoned the office and knows that Oscar was at the bar! Absolutely hilarious!

QUOTES
Murray: "Did you know Felix was once locked in the john overnight? He wrote out his entire will on half a roll of toilet paper!"

Murray: "Aren't you going to look at your cards first?"
Oscar: "What for? I'm gonna bluff anyway!"

Oscar: "I got ... um... brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. What do you want?"
Murray: "What's the green?"
Oscar: "It's either very new cheese or very old meat."

Oscar (on the phone to his five-year old from California): "Yeah, I got your letter honey thanks. It took three weeks! Next time, you ask mommy to give you a stamp." (Pause) "Yeah, I know honey, but you're not supposed to draw it on!"

Oscar: "You think you were impossible to live with? Blanche used to ask me when I wanted to eat. I'd say I don't know, I'm not hungry. Then three in the morning I'd wake her up and say now!"

Oscar: "Hello? Frances?"
Felix: "I'm not here. You haven't heard from me, you don't know where I am, I didn't call, you didn't see me and I'm not here. I am not here!"
Oscar: "Yes Frances, he's here."

Felix: "Where's your coaster?"
Roy: "What?"
Felix: "Your coaster. The little round thing you put your glass on."
Roy (considers): "I think I bet it."

Speedy (heading out the door in frustration, and thus breaking up the game) to Oscar: "You've got no-one to blame but yourself! It's your fault! You stopped him from killing himself!"

Gwendolyn: "What field of endeavour are you engaged in?"
Felix: "I write the news for television."
Gwendolyn: "Oh! Fascinating. Where do you get your ideas from?"

Felix: "You're asking to hear something I don't want to say, but if I do say it I think you oughta hear it!"
Oscar: "You got anything on your chest beside your chin you'd better get it off."
Felix: "All right then you asked for it! You're a wonderful guy Oscar! You've done verything for me! If it weren't for you I don't know what would have happened to me! You took me in here, you gave me a place to live, something to live for. I'm never going to forget you for that, Oscar! You're tops with me!"

Oscar: "Why doesn't he hear me? I know I'm talking: I recognise my voice!"

Felix: "In other words, you're throwing me out?"
Oscar: "Not in other words! Those are the perfect ones!"

Why do I love this movie?
Apart from the already-mentioned presence of both Lemmon and Matthau instantly ensuring a great film, Neil Simon's script is pure gold. The way he writes it so that one of the guys is essentially the wife, concerned about cleanliness, good food and throwing little temper fits when he doesn't get his way, making it seem as if the guys are married to each other in all but name, is what makes this movie work. There's also no hint of homosexuality at all: this is just two guys living together who begin as friends and by the end are at each other's throats. The chemistry of course between the two leads is also what makes it work. Admittedly, Tony Randall and Jack Klugman did well in the TV version, but then they really based their performances on those of the two masters here.

The Odd Couple brings to the forefront all the little niggly things we know about, but tend to overlook in our partner, whether they're a wife, live-in girfriend or roommate. All those annoying little noises. The sticky notes left in strategic places. Oscar tells Felix at one point he hates those sticky notes: "I woke to find one on my pillow: We are out of cornflakes FU. Took me three weeks to work out that "FU" stood for Felix Ungar!" The arguments, the recriminations. Things done one way because that person has always done things that way and has no wish to change, despite the fact that the other person hates doing things that way. The pure hell, in other words, of living with someone you have known but have never shared a house, room or apartment with before.

Felix is a neurotic, cleaning-obssessed, health freak who can't believe that someone would rather leave a table untidy rather than clean it up, or that a man could eat a day-old sandwich, or that people can't see the benefits of having a dehumidifier. Oscar, on the other hand, is, and let's be totally fair to him, a slob, who enjoys doing things his way. He's not prepared to change, and to be honest the way he goes on you can see why his wife threw him out. To be fair, Felix must have driven his wife mad too. These are two examples of total opposites, these men, who should never be brought into close contact with each other, for any appreciable length of time. They certainly should not even dream of living together.

But underneath it all, under the simmering resentment, the shocked anger, the disbelief and the accusations, both men are friends and at one point Oscar - tough, hard, ornery Oscar Madison - breaks down in front of Felix, begging him to leave him alone before he does something he'll regret. This rather poignant scene is then totally trumped as Felix, seeing Oscar go into the kitchen, cattily declares "Walk on the paper: I just washed the floor!" Oscar then does snap, and chases Felix out of the apartment and onto the roof.

It's a buddy movie, a cautionary tale, a comment on the relationships between two people, even of the same gender, living together. At the beginning of the film, as Oscar offers to take Felix in, he quips "Come and stay with me, Felix. I'm proposing here: what do you want, a ring?" Later he will discover how appropriate that remark is, for Felix ends up driving him as mad as any nagging wife. And of course Oscar bugs Felix too. Why can't he just eat over the plate, smoke less, clean up after himself? It's a marriage made in Hell, and pure classic comedy gold, the likes of which we're not likely to see again.

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Trollheart

First Posted in The Couch Potato, August 5 2013



Title: Downfall (Der Untergang)
Year: 2004
Genre: War/Historical
Starring: Bruno Ganz as Adolf Hitler
Alexandra Maria Lara as Traudl Junge
Ulrich Matthes as Josef Goebbels
Corinna Harfouch as Magda Goebbels
Julianne Kohler as Eva Braun
Heino Ferch as Albert Speer
Ulrich Noethen as Heinrich Himmler
Thomas Thieme as Martin Bormann
Director: Oliver Hirschbiegel
Writer: Bernd Eichinger

There are, of course, as everyone knows, hundreds, maybe thousands, or more, war films. This is not surprising, when you consider that the Second World War was over seventy years ago now, and there has been a steady stream of directors, writers and actors who either took part in the greatest war the world has ever known, or wish to pay tribute to those who did. It was a massive world event, and it's only right it should be commemorated on film, both to praise the courage of those who fought and died for our freedom and to warn future generations against another such conflict.

But the vast majority of these films have, not surprisingly, looked at the war from the side of the Allies. You would expect that: the Allies won, after all, and who doesn't like to celebrate a victory, particularly one which, ostensibly, freed the world from tyranny. War movies, on the other hand, seen from the perspective of the Germans appear to be few and far between. Again, this is no surprise: Germany both started and lost the war, and at its conclusion had to carry the stigma of being on the losing side. In post-war Europe, Germans were seen as much as pariahs as Jews were in pre-war and wartime Germany. So they weren't exactly going to be queuing up to tell their side of the story.

Not that there would be much to tell. As long as you stick to history and don't try to distort it, there's not a lot of good to be seen from the German side. Naturally, as in any war, there were good men and women on both sides, ordinary people who fought for a cause they believed in. These people were generally not terribly politically motivated: they fought for their country and their family, and their honour, and they believed in what they were struggling for. Most may not have known about the atrocities being committed in their name, though it must be supposed some if not all must have had some idea of what was going on. But these were not politicians, or SS guards, or Gestapo officers. These were just men (mostly) who hoped to live to the next day, to return one day to see the families they had left behind. They were men who shivered in the freezing Russian winter, swatted at the flies and sweated in the baking sun of the African desert, or flew in bombers or fighters over England or Europe, anxious to complete the mission and get home safely.

While of course we must be careful not to over romanticise or too closely sympathise with these people, films like Enemy At the Gates and Das Boot do a good job of showing us that not all Germans were ravening, evil Nazis who wanted to take over the world and considered certain races subhuman. Wars are not won - or lost - by mad genius and canny commanders alone. Without the ordinary footsoldiers to do their bidding such men would languish in dark rooms, plotting their schemes but never able to put them into practice. The only casualties would in all likelihood be plastic or tin soldiers. Without willing manpower, wars would never occur. More's the pity, there's always willing manpower.

Now, I could not say with any degree of certainty that this is the best of the German-made war movies I've ever seen, as I've seen very little; a handful at best. But of the ones I've seen it is far and away the jewel in the crown, and I was extremely impressed by it. The fact that it runs for over three hours, is in black and white and subtitled makes the fact I not only lasted through it, but was disappointed when it was over, even more special. I'm not a great one for subtitled movies, though you'll see a few crop up in this journal from time to time.

So, the movie. Well, as I say it's a long one - over three hours in some cuts - and of course most of the story will be known by anyone who knows anything about World War II, so I'll be briefly skipping over the plot, otherwise we'll be here all night. Essentially, the movie opens in November of 1942, with the Reich three years away from defeat but at the moment the power in Europe, indeed the world, though by now the Japanese are no doubt making their presence felt on the other side of the world. Hitler is looking for a secretary, and has called five of the best to his retreat. He talks to them all briefly before selecting Traudl Humps, whom he then engages to take his dictation. The film is told as part of her recollections, her memoirs if you will.

At this late stage of his wartime career, with the debacle of Stalingrad behind him and the Battle of Britain lost, with his abortive Russian campaign in tatters, Hitler looks old and tired, but to the women he appears benign. More that that: to German women (and men) he is no less than a god, a fearless leader, the man who has promised to return them to their former glory, and despite the setbacks thus far most have still great confidence in der Fuhrer.

The narrative switches two and half years on. It is now April 1945, and even as the Allies, led by the Red Army, close in on Berlin preparations are under way for Hitler's 56th birthday. He, however, is more angry to find how close the enemy is to his capital; apparently he was unaware they had advanced this far. Himmler wishes him to leave the city, afraid that if he stays, when Berlin falls there will be no opportunity to sue for peace. All ministries are abandoning the city, burning or otherwise destroying their files, but Hitler refuses to leave, saying he's tired. Himmler decides to contact the Allies, believing his Fuhrer doomed and seeing his own rise to power, even if it's only at the sufferance of the soon to be victorious Allies.

Hitler is not about to admit defeat, ordering armies that are ten times smaller than their Russian enemies into battle, even though his generals ask how it is supposed to be done, and know the war is lost. Goebbels, the propaganda minister, ever the politician, says that the Americans will side with them against the Russians. Hitler refuses to allow the evacuation of the old and the wounded, the women and children. He wants to pull everyone down with him into his own personal Gottedamerung; he believes the German people have failed him. Their will has not been strong enough, their faith in him has deserted them and they have become weak. They deserve to die. Everyone deserves to die.

His generals begin to discuss what is to be done. The Fuhrer is losing - has lost - touch with reality, and everybody now wants to do anything they can to save their own necks. Even ending up in an Allied prison has to be a better choice than dying pointlessly here in the bunker, or out in the streets of the rapidly-collapsing centre of the Reich. Traudl Humps berates herself for taking the job as Hitler's secretary, since this has now quite possibly made her a target, more than just a German girl. Eva Braun, determined to deny reality as much as Hitler, declares they will go upstairs and have a party, and while Berlin shakes to the explosions of artillery shells and plaster falls from the ceilings, the lights going off then on again, she immerses herself in her own personal fantasy, pretending that what is going on outside is not happening, probably because to face such a solid fact is to court insanity, or at least, a different type of insanity. But when a shell hits the room and they are all driven back underground like rats scurrying back to their sewer, reality isn't long about establishing itself.

SS Doctor Schenke, searching for medical supplies to be brought to the bunker, finds a hospital wherein there are only corpses and abandoned patients; everyone else, including doctors and nurses, have fled. Hitler continues to orchestrate phantom strategies, but when he is told one of the generals, whose attack was central to his plan, could not do so, he flies into a rage. He does not seem to be able to grasp the fact that the general did not disobey orders: he failed to attack because it was impossible for him to. His force was outnumbered and in reality, the only strategy the Nazis have now is defence, and even that is a poor possibility. Any talk of attack, turning the tide, surprise offensives, is pure madness.

From outside his office everyone can now hear as Hitler gives vent to his fury, talking about executing his generals, how everyone is against him, and it's quite clear now that he has passed beyond the limits of denial and into total, dumb, unreasoning and illogical insanity. He is almost foaming at the mouth, blaming everyone else for his gargantuan failure to win the war, and there is a light in his eyes like the fires of hell. Women outside cry, men shake their heads as they finally realise and accept the terrible, inescapable truth: that their Fuhrer, the man they have looked up to for the last seven years or more, the man who was to have put Germany back on its feet and who would lead them to a glorious new dawn, is gone, and in his place is a rabid lunatic who is determined to take them all down with him when the city burns and the Russians arrive to lay waste to everything.

Magda Goebbels and their children arrive at the bunker. The parents have made a suicide pact, and it includes slaying their five children. Hitler has since slid back into his fantasy world, telling General Keitel that they must rebuild the Reich. He rages at a telegram from Goerring (who is never seen in the movie; odd, as he was one of the pivotal figures of the Nazi movement and second-in-command to Hitler himself) where the Reichsmarshall asks for permission to take over the reins of power. Hitler considers it treason of course, and lays the blame for everything that has gone wrong at his feet. He declares Goerring is to be stripped immediately of all his power, and should Hitler not survive the war he is to be executed as a traitor.

Speer comes back to the bunker, but he has not come to die with Hitler; he has come to say goodbye to the Fuhrer. He calls in on Magda, trying to get her to see the selfishness and pointlessness of killing her children, but she truly believes a world without the Nazi party is not one she wants them growing up in. He goes then to see Hitler, pleading for mercy for the German people, but Hitler does not care about the people. He actually wants them all to die, as he considers them unworthy. Speer then admits that he has disobeyed the "scorched earth" orders Hitler had given, to destroy everything that stood, in order that some part of Germany have some hope of survival and rebirth. The Fuhrer hardly seems to hear him; he does not rage, he does not condemn, he does not demand reasons. He is an old man now; tired, spent, defeated. He waits for death, even as his city, his country, waits for the final blow as the Allied forces smash into the city, tasting victory.

Even so he appoints another head of the Luftwaffe, now that he has dismissed, in his absence, Goerring and branded him a traitor. He still believes somewhere in his addled mind that the German air force can be rebuilt, that it will be afforded the chance to be resurrected. But when word comes through of Himmler's attempts to surrender in the name of the Nazis, he is infuriated. The one man who he had always considered loyal, a kindred spirit, turns out to be a traitor? He can't believe it, and another little chip is knocked off his sanity. So much so that he tells his inner circle that he has decoyed the enemy into attacking Berlin, and that even now his generals are massing in the north and the south, waiting to come in in a pincer movement and surround the Allies, winning the day for Germany and delivering the crushing blow that will both liberate Berlin and bring about the final victory for the Nazis in the war.

Of course, no such attack is being mounted. His generals are scattered far and wide, their power completely depleted and the best they can hope for is to survive long enough to escape, surrender or die with their armies. There will be no salvation for Berlin, no last cavalry charge, no incredible escape from the fate that is now bearing down upon it. Hitler's armies are gone, his city is doomed and his rapidly-unravelling sanity cannot cope with this, so he makes himself believe that it is all part of his plan, and that he will in the end, through brilliant strategy, save the day.

Like the Roman Empire in Caligula's day, Berlin has descended into an anarchy of hedonism. Those who realise they cannot get out of the city have decided to throw all inhibition to the wind, and enjoy their last hours before the Russians arrive. Booze, drugs, sex: it's all available to those who want it, and Berlin looks on as her denizens, her children, forget her and leave her to her own devices; as she prepares for rape and destruction, they have all essentially abandoned her.

Traudl Junge (now married) is called to type up Hitler's will, and the Fuhrer marries Eva Braun. It's interesting to note that Hitler sees himself as above his own law, as when he is asked - as he has set down must be asked under the racial law - to prove he is of Aryan descent before getting married, he shrugs off the question irritably. He is the Fuhrer; the law does not apply to him. Braun marries Hitler, even though he has just had her brother-in-law executed as a traitor, and knowing their marriage will only last a few hours at best. He makes arrangements to have his body and hers burned after their mutual suicide, fearing that the Russians would display his corpse if they were to get their hands on it, as surely they would. He even has his own dog put down, unwilling to allow the animal live on after he has died. Eva Braun, now Eva Hitler, makes Traudl Junge promise her that she will try to get out of Berlin before it is overrun, and she agrees.

Frau Goebbels makes a desperate, impassioned plea to the Fuhrer at the end, trying to make him change his mind, leave Berlin instead of take his own life, but there is a weary finality in Hitler's eyes which is not mirrored in the almost dancing madness that shows in the eyes of his new wife. With a crazy wide smile on her lips, Frau Braun looks almost eager to die, as if this will accord her some great honour, rather than seal her fate as one of the most hated and perhaps pitied, certainly ridiculed, women in history. Soon it is done, and the bodies of the man who would be ruler of the world and his wife of a few hours are taken outside and burned, as per his last orders.

Out in the burning, blasted streets a weird sort of symmetry holds court: loyal Nazis arrest and hang people they see as cowards or traitors, despite the death of their leader, while weaving through these death parties, revellers and drunks sway and totter their way towards oblivion, insensate to what is going on around them. If there is a Hell, Berlin must come close to being that place at this moment. Magda Goebbels has a Nazi doctor administer a sedative to her children; her chilling "Goodnight children" are the last words the children will ever hear, for once they are asleep she returns with poison capsules for them all. It's only as the last is administered that she allows herself a brief moment of weakness, sliding down the wall outside their dormitory. But when her husband tries to comfort her she shakes off his hand angrily. It seems that she blames him for things having come to this pass. Though she idolised and loved Hitler, perhaps now she wonders what their life might have been like had they never allied with him?

Frau Junge finally decides the time has come to make her move, and begins preparations to leave the city. Disguised as an ordinary German footsoldier she joins the exodus of the thousands of others trying to make it out of doomed Berlin. In the company of a young boy, she manages to slip away, as Berlin burns behind her, a stark testament to one man's twisted vision of the world, and what he was willing to do to make it come about.

And to the people who followed, obeyed, fought and died for him.

And perhaps worst of all, the people who did nothing while evil was perpetrated in their name. Those who turned away, closed the curtains when the knock came next door, when the jackboot kicked in the door, stopped their ears to the screams and the cries, and tried not to see the dark, thick plumes hanging daily over places like Dachau and Auschwitz. The people who tried to tell themselves all was normal, or that there was nothing they could do, and who forgot the old adage to their cost: for evil to triumph, it is enough that good men - and women - do nothing.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018