Blank Does Whatever He Damn Well Pleases

Blank. · 09-28-2016, 03:35 PM

Today's review is Jesus The Carpenter's Jesus Loves You.

How do I describe Jesus loves you? Uhhh... I was 16, had my first act guitar for about a week and thought I was gods gift to man on the instrument already. So I hit the record button and outcomes some of my first pieces. And those musical pieces were atrocious. The fret buzz, the timing being seriously off, and the mis-playing of notes. Jesus loves you sounds a bit better than that. Yet it still sounds like every boy who just got his first instrument and after a week of playing already thinks they're a master.

Does the album have its moments? Yes. The Return of Shiva has a moment where it sounds like a old 1940's blues song that definitely was a nice moment. A number of the songs have moments where they become a bit more traditional sounding (though I use the term traditional loosely). I'd say the album gets better as it goes along but I definitely wouldn't call it good.

Favorite track: Experienced Cleaning Training Sessions
That's only because it's the last song that ends this bad album. Sorry frown, awful. Just awful. Don't quit your day job.

**Frownland** · 09-28-2016, 03:47 PM

Surprised you didn't like it, it's my favourite stoner rock record.

The Batlord · 09-28-2016, 03:52 PM

I remember when that ****ty album cover was just a ****ty photo he posted in the Member Picture Gallery.

**Frownland** · 09-28-2016, 03:56 PM

#batlordjealousofthoselegs

Tristan_Geoff · 09-28-2016, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

#batlordjealousofthoselegs

ihavethosesamelegs/10

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 09-28-2016, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by _Violet_

I love it more than Qwerty. Qwerty can suck my dick.

Wait, who are you?

Key · 09-28-2016, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Surprised you didn't like it, it's my favourite stoner rock record.

I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.

Tristan_Geoff · 09-28-2016, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ki

I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.

**Frownland** · 09-28-2016, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ki

I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.

You didn't listen to it right then.

Blank. · 09-28-2016, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ki

I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.

You couldn't hear that fuzzy guitar in there?

09-28-2016, 03:35 PM	#21 (permalink)
Blank. Jacob Sartorius Join Date: May 2016 Location: Dank memes Posts: 4,033	Today's review is Jesus The Carpenter's Jesus Loves You. How do I describe Jesus loves you? Uhhh... I was 16, had my first act guitar for about a week and thought I was gods gift to man on the instrument already. So I hit the record button and outcomes some of my first pieces. And those musical pieces were atrocious. The fret buzz, the timing being seriously off, and the mis-playing of notes. Jesus loves you sounds a bit better than that. Yet it still sounds like every boy who just got his first instrument and after a week of playing already thinks they're a master. Does the album have its moments? Yes. The Return of Shiva has a moment where it sounds like a old 1940's blues song that definitely was a nice moment. A number of the songs have moments where they become a bit more traditional sounding (though I use the term traditional loosely). I'd say the album gets better as it goes along but I definitely wouldn't call it good. Favorite track: Experienced Cleaning Training Sessions That's only because it's the last song that ends this bad album. Sorry frown, awful. Just awful. Don't quit your day job. Last edited by Blank.; 09-28-2016 at 04:36 PM.

09-28-2016, 03:47 PM	#22 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Surprised you didn't like it, it's my favourite stoner rock record. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

09-28-2016, 03:56 PM	#24 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	#batlordjealousofthoselegs __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x