Today's review is Jesus The Carpenter's Jesus Loves You.
https://f4.bcbits.com/img/a2503193671_10.jpg

How do I describe Jesus loves you? Uhhh... I was 16, had my first act guitar for about a week and thought I was gods gift to man on the instrument already. So I hit the record button and outcomes some of my first pieces. And those musical pieces were atrocious. The fret buzz, the timing being seriously off, and the mis-playing of notes. Jesus loves you sounds a bit better than that. Yet it still sounds like every boy who just got his first instrument and after a week of playing already thinks they're a master.

Does the album have its moments? Yes. The Return of Shiva has a moment where it sounds like a old 1940's blues song that definitely was a nice moment. A number of the songs have moments where they become a bit more traditional sounding (though I use the term traditional loosely). I'd say the album gets better as it goes along but I definitely wouldn't call it good.

Favorite track: Experienced Cleaning Training Sessions
That's only because it's the last song that ends this bad album. Sorry frown, awful. Just awful. Don't quit your day job.

Surprised you didn't like it, it's my favourite stoner rock record.

I remember when that ****ty album cover was just a ****ty photo he posted in the Member Picture Gallery.

#batlordjealousofthoselegs

ihavethosesamelegs/10

Wait, who are you?

I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.

You didn't listen to it right then.

You couldn't hear that fuzzy guitar in there?