Mega Angst: My Odyssey (Screw This, I'm Leavin)
 

The time is now. Today marks the beginning of a sabbatical from all the nothing I'm doing. It's true that I've barely tried to make anything of this life thus far, and for some odd reason I never see it happening at all. I am beginning an adventure of undetermined length and destination. There's a lot that this continent offers and all my life I've wanted to see every inch of it. I will post here about it, as frequently as possible.

Day 1

I walked to the library with my gear to post this. I've gone mad I think.

Good luck man!!! Check in when ya can!

Best of luck! Hope things work out for you!

Are you becoming a hitchhiker?

Just noticed this. If you make it down to San Marcos I have a couch you can crash on.

I'm pretty much going East.

Well I stopped in Reno to tell everyone the plan and have been here the last week, but the quest is on the real tomorrow. I can still hook it up with my entry for the time I've been here.

June 27

I left around eleven. I've made an executive decision that I just wanna do this for a little bit. I was about to be evicted, but everything's been brewing for a long time, I really couldn't handle it too much more. After leaving the trailer I walked to the library and spent about two hours there. After that, I walked out to see if I could get picked up. It was hot, brutal. I ripped the straps of the bag I had by hoisting it over my shoulders so much. My fault for carrying so much, not even three hours and I'm already breaking rule number one: travel light. While in Reno I'd be getting a genuine pack to carry around, so I'm not worried about the bag, just was using it to hold stuff until I got there. I'd also get some other stuff, sleeping bag, etc.

I'd been walking for a good while before stopping for a moment. I was still holding out my sign, and a young looking dude stopped and asked where I was going, and wished me luck. He went into the liquor store nearby and walked past again with a case of beer and a bottle of whiskey. He offered me a beer and stayed for a second asking why I was going to Reno (that's all the sign says). Then he offered some whiskey before leaving, I took a deep chug and thanked him. I still kind of hate drinking and wanted to stop but I guess I still will when it's around. This guy was nice, he had a really genuine sounding voice. So I walked more and more. I'd been sauntering around for six hours before getting picked up at seven. These guys were real neat too. They were going all the way from here to reno so that was convenient. They had offered me some beer too, sharing is caring they said. I got dropped off at a friend's apartment complex, although we spend most of the time in their storage garage.

I'd been quiet most of the time hanging out today. It's getting dark, I'm sitting on the pavement looking at the bright moon. Two of my friends are out buying drugs and the other is passed out on the hard concrete floor. Next time I get on a computer, I definitely need to shoot my mom an email. They would be worried for sure, and that's all that really gets to me. If they want me to come back, then I just would say no, but I definitely don't want to think that they're worried. I've done this kind of thing before but I'm much more driven this time around, so we'll see what happens.

Haven't wrote anything down for the rest of that week but I'll go for a synopsis.

June 28 - July 8

Pretty much more general chillin. Drank my weight in hard cider most of the time up until the fourth. I hung out with some other friends and stayed there during this time, different from the pals I met up with first. Two of them, a couple, were having a lot of problems at the time, dealing with finding new places to live as well as some serious quarreling between the two. I witnessed completely unrestrained emotional outbreaks from both of them. They would be moving, each to a different place nearby, both in California. Even more squabbling ensued from others, all brought about by similar means. Moving out, moving in. The couple left on Monday morning.

Friends and family came together for the Fourth of July. Drank a semi-heavy amount and enjoyed some fantastic dinner. Some music that usually tickles my emotions came on, made me think about what I was doing here, and in general. I can never seem to know. I left the area we were hanging out to be alone for a minute, and began crying, just a tad. That passed soon enough.

No one seems to be functioning right right now. Everyone is fighting with everyone else. A very conflict filled week. I stayed at another friends house these last two nights, and he and his roommate had more loud arguments, to be followed by more screaming and crying. Still, it all passes. I think I'm leaving soon, well, tomorrow most definitely, but had also considered going later today. It's Four o'clock and heavy rain though. I'd already told the people I was with today I'd be leaving on the bus and they dropped me off there. It's not too interesting to hear about me hanging out, but I guarantee the real experience will start within twent-four hours.

Currently have 27 more minutes remaining for computer use and I don't think I can type out entries for the last two days, but here is this.

July 8

I left the library after it closed at five. I would be walking East through Sparks. I had one huge backpack on my back and a smaller one I was carrying. Don't even tell me I've got too much, believe me, I know. I walked all the way to the very end of Sparks, where countless truckers passed by. It was late now. I was at the entrance to interstate 80 looking for a ride, nothing doing. I was right beside the railroad tracks, and behind the ledge was an extension of concrete. I chose here to sleep. I figured that I'd want to go to sleep early as I'd be getting up early. I rolled out my sleeping bag and lied there, contemplating for a second. I had an "emergency" reserve of weed with me, and I packed some into a wooden pipe that my friend gave me before I left. I was stoked on it actually, could drop it and not break it. So I got stoned, and watched and listened as trains passed, many did. I felt really at ease at this moment for some reason. Not even out of town, but having an enjoyable time where I was. I felt like this would be a fun experience.

You ever have those nights where you're lying there for a long time, seemingly awake, though you can't tell whether or not you've been asleep at all? I felt like this all night. Maybe the hours passed quickly, maybe I nodded in and out, I can't be certain.

July 9


The sun and I rose simultaneously. I lied there on the concrete for a moment, smoked more, then packed up everything and got right back up on the same spot, doing the same thing. It was barely six, I’d guess. I remained for two hours, watching what little traffic there was pass me by. I didn’t notice that I’d been there so long, stoned and indifferent. Not too many people getting on the interstate here in the morning, more than last night however. After this, I’d go pass the time for as long as I see fit. Got some beef jerky, energy drink, Snickers, and brushed my teeth in a Target bathroom. I sat on the curb outside the store for a minute, drinking my drinking and listening to music on my mp3 player. I walked back to my spot, got there at probably nine-thirty or ten, tried some more to get picked up, and made the executive decision that it wasn’t happening here, so I began to walk. I walked along the highway beside the tracks. Soon emerged a muddy river, and I walked through the wood between it and the highway. I have way too much stuff and no plans to ditch any of it. The small backpack gets in the way. A little bit ago, I walked beneath an overpass littered with graffiti, trash, and some items probably still in use. Two people were bundled up in sleeping bags on each side.


“Reno is so close to Hell, you can see Sparks.” Someone wrote. A lot of travel milestones and chat made up the graffiti, though. I spotted a pack of four wild horses across the river as I neared a bridge that lead trains across the water. I stopped here and smoked some more. This is where the thirst came into play, a thirst unmatched. I was so determined that I’d catch a thirty mile ride to Fernley that it didn’t even cross my mind to pack any water for the space in between.


Offroad now, extremely rocky, steep, and crumbly. It would be a hellish trek the majority of the way, and I stopped rather frequently. Grey storm clouds gathered above and let about a light shower. Soon after the rain began, I came across what I could only assume was an old and rundown city block, I suspect I might be way off base though. At the bottom of the hill beside the interstate a road started. Further along came a sidewalk with weeds growing from the cracks. I stepped on to it. Portions of sidewalk were separated by building sized plots of dirt, which made me think of a block. The cement itself seemed fresh, undamaged. I walked every inch of it under dark and cloudy skies, then left this dead block. After some more strained hiking, the “path” I was on started flattening out again. I was nearing Lockwood, NV. I was excited as I might find a store here. Off the interstate is a road that circles around and leads into this small community. Storrey county begins here. I was still along the railroad tracks and came in the hard way. The town was across a bridge over the river, a waterside walking trail also began there. No more than fifty feet away was a market, the only establishment of Lockwood I think. First time around, I bought a bottle of gatorade and started guzzling. I sat outside the store drinking it and eating some of my jerky. I was leaning against my bag with my legs outstretched across the empty walkway. After a minute, I went back in. While I was out, a man pulled up to the store and asked how I was. I bought two bottles of water and a bag of almonds and as I walked out, the same man gave me some more items. “You can have these too.” He said. Two granola bars and some generic brand Hostess cupcake knockoffs. I thanked him.


I packed everything away and started back toward the highway. I walked up the exit that lead to Lockwood, and back down to the interstate. I managed to cross to the middle section where you could pull off if needed. This is where I’d stick out my thumb again. Cars flew by like I was at a Nascar race, right by the track. Looking back, it was a very foolish place to look for a ride. Not too long before highway patrol rolled up to question me.


“What are you doing out here, son?”


“Just trying to get around.”


“You know we can’t have you hanging around in the median here, don’t wanna get hurt do ya?” I shrugged. “You got any ID?” I did, and I showed it to him. “So you’re from California? What are you doing out here?”


“Just heading East.”


“What for?”


“I don’t know, never been there.”


“You got any drugs or weapons, knives or anything on ya? All these kids like you usually have a knife or something.”


“Yeah, it’s just in my bag.” I pointed to the pocket.


“But it’s all packed up and everything?” I agreed. “Well alright. I’m gonna have to search your person though.” So he searched me. Nothing on me at that moment at all, some change in my pocket. “Where are you going right now, son?”


“Just trying to get to Fernley.”


“Well I can give you a ride there if that’s where you’re headed.” I said sure, whatever, or something apathetic. “Just toss your stuff in the back there.”


He drove me to the truckstop in outer Fernley, about twenty minutes from where I was. It was silent the whole way, and his truck was excruciatingly hot. He pulled up to a Wendy’s and let me out.


“Hitchhiking is illegal in the state of Nevada, so wherever you’re going, you’re gonna have to walk. Try to stay on the side of the highway if you’re following it.” He and I both knew I wasn’t gonna stop hitching. I thanked him for the ride and he drove away.


So I was at a truckstop outside Fernley, not actually in town just yet. I hung out here for a while, inquired about a shower. It’d be twelve dollars, and I definitely wasn’t going to pay for that. I was here for an hour or so. Didn’t know what time it was but the sun was still going strong. I started following the highway now, to get into town. The clouds gathered again and more rain began to fall. I was a bit further out from the highway, following an old dirt road alongside some farm land. I stopped for a minute in a ditch and smoked some more. I would be walking a half hour before reaching the downtown area of Fernley. It was still light, but I could tell it was getting late. Right as you enter town everything was right there. Fast food, Walmart, shopping center, Lowe’s, general city stuff. After some wandering, generally in the same spot, and getting some things to eat, I was getting tired. I had a spot in mind in this cluster of trees behind a Raley’s. I’d be unseen.

Two nights outside and I’d barely made it thirty miles. I need to get going. Fernley really blows.

Dude, it's like modern day Tolkien. You need to find a midget and a male model to adventure with.

I'd be down for a companion, what with being a lonely teenager bitch ass and no one understands me and etc

Here's something, would anyone think it'd be cool to try and meet? Not out of Nevada yet, but it's only been three days. Anyone in the Midwest or something like that?

July 10

I woke up on the hard and barely malleable dirt ground, feeling like a complete pile of garbage. There will be many, many more of these mornings, get used to it kid. I sat up in my sleeping bag, still in my heavy flannel and pants, and stared at the ground. I packed up here, and headed for the Walmart, for something I hadn't figured out yet. I ended up getting some dry shampoo and a razor. I hate the weak ass facial hair that grows on my chin, it really lowers my self image. Afterwards I loitered outside the store for a while, it was still early. I had no more money at the moment, but as I sat out here, some men came up and offered me some. "Oh, that's alright." I said, I wasn't out here begging. But they gave it to me anyway, one handed me seven dollars and the other two. They wished me a good day and left. Nine dollars now, and some change. I went to a Jack in the Box for a quick breakfast sandwhich, and that filled me up. There was an old, scraggly woman outside the restaraunt. I went out and set my stuff beside a table, and she started talking to me. I was going to talk to here, ask if she knew where I library was, but she beat me to it. I didn't hear her at first, so I went up to her.

"Traveling far?" She asked.

"Yeah I guess, just going East, don't know where." She told me about other people she knew who walked across the country. She gave me a weird vibe. We had a conversation, and as I was about to leave, she said to me: "You want to have a life, you know. You want to make it."

"Right now, this is what I want my life to be, and I'm making it." She gave me a disgruntled look. "Well I'm gonna head that way and see if that library is still there." She'd told me about a library.

"God bless you, and whatever you do."

"You too."

I walked towards the direction she told me the library was, across a freeway bridge and back onto the road. I turned and walked down Main street, there's one in every town. She told me it would be right by the police station and city hall, and it was. A very small building. It was closed today. So, exasperated and tired, I sat out on the grass and shut my eyes. It was much more comfortable then the ground earlier, and I fell asleep. Soon, the sun shone directly on me and my black jacket, it was hot and I moved a few feet over to sit under a tree. Nodded out some more. I ended up napping outside the library for three hours. Got up in a confused fashion and began walking the way I came. With some money left over from breakfast, I bought some more gatorade at a 7-11. I made it back to the walmart area, near an on ramp, an ideal spot. So I stopped and waited.

One woman stopped, I picked up my stuff. "I can't pick you up but I have something for you." She said from here car as I dropped my bags and walked up to her. "I'd pick you up but I'm going the other way, I saw you though and wanted to drop this off for you. There's some necessities in here." I thanked her cheerfully and she drove away. This was actually a nice little package, some toilet paper, shaving cream, toothbrush (which lead me to throw away the one I had), body powder, a rag, some little food items, etc. I packed it all into different sections of my inventory. I'm nearing maximum capacity.

A trucker stopping at the Walmart passed me by. "How ya doin?" He said.

"I'm alright." My answer every time, no matter how I feel. His truck was parked further up the ramp and he went into the store. Came back out, "I'd give you a lift if I could, but I can't."

"That's fine." I said and smiled. When it comes down to it, that's the best reason you can give someone. I'd do it, but I just can't.

So more waiting, and then a sedan pulled up directly in front of me. I grabbed my bags and walked to the side. The passenger window rolled down to reveal and old driver. "You can put your stuff in the back there." I opened the back door and tossed it in, careful not to mess up the shirt he had hanging there, then I got in the passenger seat. "Where you going?" He said in a very un-inquisitive manner.

"As far as you're going. Just heading East, seeing where I can get to. My next major stop would be Elko, I suppose."

"Well, I'm going to Lovelock myself, I can drop you there." Lovelock was about fifty miles down the highway.

"That'd be great."

"Name's ___." He said, and extended his hand for a shake. I can't remember the name. The car was very cool, damn near cold, but very comfortable. "So you have friends out East or what."

"Nope, never been there."

"Mhm." After telling him my "plans", and why I left, he started talking. He told me about his driving, apparently he'd put 20,000 miles on this car in a year. Told me about his huge family and driving to visit all of them, hence the miles. They were scattered everywhere. Told me about his own hitchhiking adventures, 1967.

"Don't try hitchhiking in Utah, the police will get you right away, I know. They stopped me. 'Son,' Now don't call me son, I said. 'Boy,' Now don't call me boy either. 'What are you doing out here?' So I told him, I am in the military, see, and I have orders to get to ___."

My story telling might be choppy.

"He asked me, 'What do you have in that bag?' Just some clothes, provisions and a .38 magnum revolver stuffed at the bottom. 'Is that loaded?" I said, no, what do you think I am? Having a loaded gun bumping around the bottom of my bag, you must think I'm a fool. 'Would you mind taking that out?' I did, let him see it. 'Now we can't prove that this your gun.' I told them, why don't you call the registry down in Florida, give them that engraved serial number and have them tell you that I am who it is registered too. 'That won't be necessary. Anything in your pockets?' I had $1100 at the time, maybe a little bit suspicious for hitchhiking. 'Now we can't prove that this is your money.' So I sighed. they took me into their jail, let me have a meal and a place to sleep. I couldn't catch any bus anymore. The next morning they came and got me. 'Alright son,' I told you not to call me Son. 'Boy,' You just don't listen do ya? These guys ended up taking me in for the night and feeding me, and took me back to the same spot, gave me my gun and my money said 'You get a ride now, don't let us catch you again', and drove off. How about that?"

We shared more small talk along the way. "When was the last time you ate?" He asked.

"This morning." It was four now.

"See that bag in the back seat? Take it. It's fried chicken, four pieces. I got it at the walmart along with some flowers I'd place on my wife's grave."

"Oh you don't have to do that."

"Well why not?"

"...I didn't ask, or anything."

"I know you didn't ask, that's why I'm doing it." He opened up his wallet and pulled out two twenties and set them on the chicken container. "I didn't HAVE to do that either, but I did, and you're taking it."

"Well thanks a lot." I said.

"I can drop you at a truckstop in town, get some food there, whatever else. It's right next to the highway."

"Is there a library in Lovelock?" I asked.

"Yep. What, you wanna get dropped there?"

"Yeah, that'd be good."

"What you got at the library?"

"a library is usually just where I go when I don't know where else to go, plus I love to read."

"Mhm." We drove for forty or so minutes before pulling into town. We drove through the downtown area. "There's our stoplight." He said as we came to a stop. Took a right and came to a park. "Here's the library, right beside the swimming pool, this where you want to go?"

"Yeah." I got out with the chicken, then got my bags from the back. "Thanks for the ride and everything else, you have a good day." I said.

"My day became good when I helped someone out. Take care of yourself."

I waved as he pulled out of the parking lot. The library was open for another hour thankfully, I stopped in to write an entry for this journal. Afterwards, when it closed, I went to the park right next door and ate some of the chicken. Then I went into the pool and asked about a shower. I was greeted by a young man, my age most likely if not a year older. "Yeah we have showers... it's like two dollars though."

"Could I take one?" I asked, handing him a twenty.

"Yeah," He started fidgeting through the cashier. "When do you need to leave? I have a group coming later and will have more change, all I have right now is... you know what, here, just go for it." And handed back the bill.

"Alright, thanks." I said. I went and grabbed my bags and took them into the changing area. Twelve dollars for a shower? **** them truckers anyway. I pulled out a rag, shampoo and soap. I took my shower, changed into some new clothes, and went back to the park to get dry. I quiet fog would cover the town in the evening.

I got high in the park, listened to some tunes, just passing the time. Might as well stay here tonight, I thought. I saw a few Lovelock kids roaming around the park, it was Friday night. I finished up my chicken and started looking for a different place. I still had this park as a backup. I found another park not too far away. It was getting dark. In this park, I decided that tonight I wanted to get belligerently stoned and pass out hardcore. I had two unisom pills left over from a long time ago that I found while packing up my bags before leaving initially. I took one, and smoked the rest of the weed I had. Then lied down on the grass on my sleeping bag. I never take into consideration the sprinklers. Fortunately, the ones that went off didn't reach me and I had time to pack before getting wet. I sat at a bench now, just relaxing. I had become so outrageously high at this point. I guess my plan had worked. I felt heavily sedated, and was borderline hallucinating. I nodded out and fell down on the table, and slept for some time. Woke up spinning and stoned. I wanted to walk back to the park where I was earlier, the nap had taken away some of the high.

I slept terribly in a plastic tube in the playground. They're usually wider, in my experience.

Just a thought. Instead of spending your money on Gatorade, why don't you save one of the bottles and use it as a canteen?

This thread is great.
Good luck and keep us posted!

I like gatorade dawg. I have two full bottles of water on me at any given moment.

You're not gonna be making much money as a hitchhiker, so I'm just saying that Gatorade is kind of an unnecessary expense.

I've made like $100 total so far

Do what you want. I'm just saying, you don't have a regular income, and no safety net if you suddenly find yourself broke, so maybe Gatorade shouldn't be your priority.

I'm already broke, the two bottles I've bought so far during the trip haven't really caused anymore massive financial problems.

If anything I have too much money. It just won't stop coming.

July 11

Woke up all twisted around in the tube. I lied in here for a minute then pulled myself out. A couple of the same Lovelock kids I saw last night were at the park again. I fell out of the tube, disheveled, and packed up accurately. I knew where the on ramp was, and that was my spot, but I'd hang out for a bit. I walked to the other side and sat on the grass in this park, as more Lovelock kids gathered. A girl my age said and hi to me and I waved. With some money I had, I shopped for some things at a Safeway across the street. Dry foods, canned foods. Back to the park. The two water bottles I was carrying were empty, and I filled them up at a drinking fountain in the park next the same young girls. They probably thought I was homeless with all my stuff, but then again I'm not exactly "homeful" right now. I just made up that word, dig it. "Hey dude," one said. "You want this water? I just opened it, didn't drink any of it."

"Well, sure. It's probably better than this water." I accepted the bottle and walked back to my things, under a tree. They were sitting at a table in Lover's Lock. It seems a ton of people come here and put locks on the chains set up, and throw away the key, to signify eternal love. This was happening everywhere I guess.

http://www.chriskathy.com/buttons/lovelock03.JPG

"Welcome to Lovelock, the heart of Nevada." I liked the place well enough. Not the most exciting or interesting, but a lot cooler than god damn Fernley.

I left the park after a while. Before stopping at the on ramp, I went to the truckstop across the street. Downed an energy drink and a sub sandwich for breakfast. I had an idea to write poems for people for a quarter each to make money along the way. I set up outside the place at a table, wrote "25 CENT FREE VERSE POEMS" on a piece of paper and made a sign. I bought a notepad while I was in the store which I'd use for writing. My first customer came after about ten minutes. Handed me a quarter. "You want a poem?" I said. she nodded. "Choose a topic."

"A topic huh. Okay, your poems."

"A poem about my poems, alright." So I jammed one out, and gave it to her.

"Right on, dude." She said, and handed me another dollar and some change. Sorry if I don't remember all the poems, they're all made up on the spot but everyone loves them. She was an older lady, with two other people. They went into the Port of Subs and sat outside at a table next to me. The man of group turned around with a dollar.

"Write me one? Oceans, fish, aquatic stuff."

"Alright." Jammed out another and handed it to him.

"Did you sign it?"

"Oh, I forgot about that."

"Well here, this is gonna be worth millions some day." I signed it, Loren Z. "Hm. I like it." He said after reading it. As they all began to leave, the other woman of the group handed me a dollar.

"Any topic?"

"Mhm."

"Um, black cats." I wrote one about black cats. "Cool, nice shirt by the way." I was wearing a Lost Boys t-shirt. "Take it easy."

"You too." I said. They drove off in a small blue car. Soon, a man and daughter came up, the daughter handed me a dollar for a poem. "Choose a topic." I said. She looked at her father and back at me.

"A topic? butterflies." I wrote a quick haiku about butterflies and handed it over. "Thanks." She smiled, probably somewhere around eleven years old. Her father then handed me a ten.

"Good luck, pal." He said. I sat out here some more, wrote two more poems, and a worker came out.

"You can't do that out here you know, you have to leave." At that very moment a shaggy young man walked up as well.

"Hey this guy can stay here if he wants, you greedy bastards gotta stop holding us down man. Hey, this guy's doing poetry." He said to other passers by. "I've got a topic man, marathon running." I gave him a quick one, he had no money on him but asked a companion who came up for a quarter. "This guy's writing poetry." She handed him a quarter which he in turn gave to me. Then he sat down with me at my table. At this point he would go on a tirade about corporate America, greed, culture, all said in such a ridiculous fashion that you couldn't take it seriously. His other companion then sat down, a pretty stereotypical indie looking guy but not an indie guy. Flannel shirt, light beard, fedora. I liked him though, and he was much more laid back then the other. We had a conversation, I told him I was going East and he suggested going to Boulder, CO. They would all agree, so I made that a destination. After some more talking, they said they should get going. They were going West. I got seven dollars from them before they took off.

After that I went to the on ramp across the way. I set down my bags and waited, tossing one of my half empty water bottles into the air and catching. It was probably a good hour before I got a ride, a truck pulled up with two burly gentlemen. "Where you going?" The passenger said.

"Uh, Winnemucca."

"Well we're going to Elko so we can drop you off on the way."

"Oh, that would be even better."

"You're going to Elko too?"

"I'm just going as far as I can."

"Well get in." These were two middle aged, working class kind of guys. I hopped in the back, put my large bag beside me and the small one on my lap. They had a cooler in the back taking up room. We all introduced ourselves, and I told them the story. It was 250 or so miles to Elko, and I was happy to catch a ride all the way.

They were listening to Metallica's Garage Inc. on CD. When "Whiskey in the Jar" came on, the passenger said: "Ah, this is a good one." and turned it up. This made me laugh to myself. They talked to each other a lot during the long drive. I was mostly quiet. After that CD was over, the passenger looked through a case for another. He was naming stuff off, all very general and mainstream hard rock and cooler stuff a hard rock fan might enjoy. AC/DC, Pantera, Nirvana, Stone Sour, Ugly Kid Joe. Oh well.

We stopped in Battle Mountain for food, they bought me lunch here. Also gave me five dollars around this time. Battle Mountain, and Carlin, and all these little Nevada towns all seem the same. the drive wasn't all that scenic, the desert stretched forever, flat and dry. As we got further though, mountains would be popping up. They told me about different places that I might pass through along my trip.

It was around four when we made it to Elko. they dropped me in the beginning of town. I thanked them as they drove away. "Don't drop him too far from the highway, that's his lifeline!" I heard. I went into a Subway to use the restroom. now I would begin my exploration of Elko. I walked down the street I was on. It extended fairly far before reaching the downtown area. I turned into town to hear live Basque music being played from a street corner outside a restaurant. People were dancing to it happily. There was a wine walk going on today, and many people walked the streets with glasses. I walked some more, made it to the main street of town, and walked down for many blocks. As I kept going, I saw a playground and a field which I turned into. It was a large park area. Sports fields, a skate park, and other things nearby. I sat at a bench to rest my aching feet. I was here until dark. I didn't know where I'd go, so I stayed here. I didn't set up a sleeping bag anywhere, just wandered, sat in different places. While walking around the playground, I met a young couple hanging out here.

"Who are you?" I was asked.

"My name's Loren. I just got into town today. I don't live here." I told them what I was doing and one girl came up closer to me to see my face. She seemed melodramatic, that I had nowhere to go and nothing to do. Or I could just be completely unworried for no good reason. She was upset for me, but I assured her I was fine, and that everything I do I do by choice. She was way hot by the way, her girlfriend not so much. We shared some small talk for about twenty minutes before they would leave.

"If you're still here tomorrow, I'm gonna come back. I'll be here, early." she said.

"I'm sure I will be." Then they walked off into the dark of night. So I was alone now. I took the other unisom I had to help me sleep somewhere, and scraped my pipe to smoke some resin because I always love getting high. I had my stuff on a park bench, which I walked over to and sat down near, on the woodchips. I nodded out for a bit unintentionally before I was dowsed with sprinklers. I jolted up and got out of the way with my things. So I walked around some more, swung on the swings, nodded out in various places, and before I knew it, the sun started to rise. I slept more inside the tower of the playground. I wanted to wait for the girl to come back. as it got brighter and the sprinklers stopped, I went back to the same bench from before. I leaned up against my bags and started nodding the hardest I think I ever have, children were playing on the playground. I had no way to tell the time, but I stayed for a while, and the girl never showed. She might have later, but I left.

Are you going to stay on I-80 and head across the desert into Salt Lake City? I have this weird fascination with deserts and I’ve always wanted to see the Great Salt Lake Desert.

EDIT: apparently you’ve already gone through Salt Lake City.

I'm behind on entries so stay tuned ;)

So how many buggerings have you had to endure?

There could be an entry today :O

About sucking trucker dick? Otherwise GTFO.

Alright

Anyone still interested? Sorry for leaving you high and dry. Still have entries and notes for the whole adventure that I could post.

Yes! I wanna read about how you sucked dick for bus fare.

Very interested. Not so much in trucker dick, but in your story.

I don't know why, but this made me laugh.

Ight let's see what I can do here

July 12

After falling into a state of microsleep, dozens of times, the sun was nearing full force and brightness. I was still very tired, but gathered my things to start another day of travel (at least I had hoped). I left the park and walked to a public library I had seen yesterday. Closed today. So I walked more, back the way I came into town, towards the area where I was dropped off. The heat rose as time passed. My overly heavy packing job always taking it's toll, live and learn though I guess, none of it I wanted to part with. When I made it back to where I had started, I followed some signs I'd seen leading the way to a community college. I walked maybe fifteen minutes but didn’t find it, instead I made my way to another park. A church picnic was being held, food cooking and boring religious music playing over the sound system they’d set up. I set my stuff down on a table, out of the way of the gathering. I sat here, what else to do? Got up and walked around the park when one of the picnickers called to me. “Won’t you come over and have some food?” Bewildered, I looked behind me to see no one, pointed at myself for a “Who, me?” signal. “Yes, come on over, lunch is almost ready.” Why not, I guess.

I walked over to join the gathering. The woman who’d called me explained the church they were part of, and offered me some of the lunch that was being prepared. “Sure, I’ll stay. Don’t really have any other things to do.” She smiled.

“Why don’t you get to know some of the people here?” I nodded, although I didn’t really plan on following through with that. Ever so shy, I am, could never start conversations on my own, especially with strangers. Maybe that could change on this journey. I stumbled around like a silly mime, not saying anything, surely not fitting in. This is when people would begin introducing themselves to me. Along came a young man with a thick accent. “Hey, where are you coming from?” He said.

“Um… where?” I replied, confused. He said he’d seen me walk in with my bags. “Oh yeah, right now I’m just coming from Lovelock.”

“What’s your destination?”

“I’m not sure right now.”

“Oh I see, well have you been traveling long?”

I shook my head. “Not really, I left Reno like three days ago, something like that. Only just starting.” He told me he was born in Australia and had done much traveling back there. I asked how it was as that’d always been a point of interest for me.

“Hot. Dry.” He laughed, I grinned. “It’s a lot of the same for long stretches, but it’s still quite nice. Hey, why don’t you sit over here with some of my friends?” He led me to a circle of more young men and we all exchanged introductions. More heavy accents, though all different, not just Australian. They talked about this and that, I mostly remained silent.

I stood up now. “I’m gonna get myself some of that watermelon.” I said to the man I’d met first (names will escape me). I couldn’t refuse a good slice of watermelon. After eating some, the woman who’d invited me came over with her husband to introduce to me. He had a raw face, and wounded nose.

“This is Loren, he just got into Elko yesterday. He’s traveling around right now, he says.” Said wife to husband. He extended his hand for a shake, it was limp, awkward.

“So, you’re a vagrant are ya?”

“I guess.”

“Where are headed?”

“Don’t know. Came from California which is about as west as you can get, guess I’ll go east.”

“So you don’t have a plan?” It was hard to decide if the man’s tone was pro or con, in regards to myself, my trek.

“Uh, not right now.” I said.

“It’s pretty stupid heading out into uncharted territory with no idea of what you’re doing.”

I shrugged, “Yep, I guess it is.”

He turned around now, but kept an odd expression directed at me. “Food’s ready everyone. Come get a plate!” I heard from behind. So I’d fix myself a plate, but I waited for everyone else who was eating to go before me. Once I had my chance, I gathered a hamburger, some baked beans, potato salad, more watermelon, some pasta salad, and a small paper cup of lemonade. Looking around for a place to sit, I chose an unoccupied table in a gazebo. Unoccupied for a second, at least. The wife and husband came to accompany me, this time bringing their daughter.

We conversed, I spoke scarcely. Mostly listening to the husband and what he had to say about stuff like what I’m doing. The usual, “It’s not as easy as it used to be… Be careful about the law… Have a good judge of character…” I could never pick up on this guy’s… “whole thing”. He was polite and informative enough, but rubbed me ever so slightly the wrong way, nothing to give me a negative opinion. Maybe it was just his face. Whether smile or scowl, pleasant or indifferent, it had a same look to it. not that he was expressionless, just an underlying demeanor that seemed unchanged. I didn’t like his face.

“Where are you going after this?” The wife said.

“Well I was actually trying to find a college, I followed some signs and ended up here. Do you know where it is?”

“Oh yeah, it’s not far. We can drive you there after lunch.”

“Oh that’d be great, thanks. Just trying to use a computer.”

As the picnic came to a close, everyone finishing up their meals, the man pointed to his car. “That’s it. Pack up whenever you’re ready.”

I refilled my empty water bottles while I was here, and made for the car. The man walked beside me at a distance, somewhat behind. The couple and daughter packed up the car now, and we got in. “Why do you want to use a computer?” The wife said.

“I dunno, keep in touch with people, organize a route, whatever.”

“So you’re parents know you’re out here?”

“Yeah,” I lied, “I talk to them every chance I get.

Once arriving at the library section of the college, we found it was closed. “Oh boy.” The couple sighed. Without to much hesitation, they offered for me to stay at their house tonight. “It’s already pretty late, you probably won’t have much luck leaving.”

“...Sure, that’d be fine, if it’s no trouble.” I said.

“None at all. Our little girls here has moved out and we are planning her wedding, which will be soon. There’s an extra room with a bed you can sleep in, and you can use our computer if you want.” I guess, I thought to myself. Wouldn’t want to lose too much time staying in a spot for more than a day… But then again, time? I’m not going anywhere. I don’t have plans. What am I losing?

The drive to their house was about twenty minutes, slightly out of Elko, a very “middle of nowhere” type place. When we arrived, I came into find a fairly large house, three levels, or two and a half or something? I dunno, there was a downstairs area with bedrooms but it didn’t seem like much of a drop.

“There’s our computer,” the wife pointed. “You know what to do right? Sometimes it can be an ordeal.”

“Yeah, I’ll figure it out.” So, I left my bags in the room I would stay. I low bed covered in stuffed animals, and quite comfortable. Went up to use the computer, the man on a couch in the living room, reading the paper, occasionally glancing at me. I began to type an entry for this journal, listening to music, adding stuff to my mp3 player, my normal computer things. Started checking out some maps on how to get to Boulder, CO.

“Planning your route?” The man said.

“Yeah. Have you ever been to Boulder?”

“Passed through it some time ago, didn’t stay long. It looked like a nice place,” He paused, “You can’t just give up on life and run away…”

Here we go again, I thought. Barely four towns down, but already many lectures.

“When I was your age, I worked every day. I could establish something real quick, real easy. I did something like you once, but I was prepared. What do you have in those bags anyway?”

“Um… clothes. Packed too many clothes. Other general stuff.”

“You’ll be in trouble if you find yourself stranded in some empty forest or desert. And out here, there’s endless desert. Stay away, you’ll be a dead man.”

“Yeah. I’ve always wanted to travel a desert, it’s my favorite ecosystem. It could be interesting, but dangerous. Wouldn’t want to be ill-prepared.”

“You know, our Lord sees what you’re doing. If you need something, ask him. You will get it.”

“Uh-huh.” I said apathetically.

“You’re not too smart right now, are you? Doing this. Leaving, leaving for nothing. You need experience, work, people, money, you need to be straightforward. You came out here with a romanticized view of the road.”

“Oh well.” I said. “Do my best.”

…

Eventually, a young man came to the house, speaking with a Scottish accent. A lot of foreign people around here today. This was the fiance of the couple’s daughter. He was here to help set up the back yard for the ceremony. Everyone besides myself went out back now, I stayed to finish my journal entry. Afterwards, I’d join them. The fiance was shoveling gravel to clear a path, while everyone else watched from the side. “Pull up a seat.” Husband said. We talked now, more casual than before. Still, something about this guy. Still don’t like his face. The fiance was a charming and funny man, and I enjoyed his company. The couple were nice enough, but this isn’t my speed. Inside, you can just see, feel the age. It was so stale here, I wanted to leave.

When dinner time rolled around, we had a small meal, just grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. Store bought cherry pie for dessert. After, I would continue on the computer. “Do you think I could possibly take a shower?” I asked the wife.

“Of course you can, let me get you a towel.”

...

“We’ll take you wherever you need in the morning. Be up at 7.”

“Okay.” I said. The couple now retired to their room. I called it quits with the computer and when down into my temporary room for bed. This is an odd feeling, and an odd company. I felt strange being here, but I couldn’t tell you why. Now I shut off the lights. It was pitch black. Lied back on the bed and listened to a few songs on my mp3 player as I drifted into slumber.

I couldn’t put my finger on it. Why do I feel this way?

Because it's awkward staying in someone else's house. You don't feel at home, since you can't shake the feeling that you're imposing on them.

July 13

A knock on the door woke me up early. "Are you up?" Someone called from behind. I wasn't, but I'd better get there. Got dressed quick, just put on the pants I'd taken off last night (I really only had two pairs and didn't want to dig for the other one), and kept on the clean shirt I put on last night after the shower, my first time changing it, and pretty much my last. Can't stress enough how much I screwed up with the packing. Left the room with all my stuff packed up and ready for travel.

"You want a bowl of cereal? It's pretty much all we have, some fruit over here." I was offered.

"Uh, no I'm fine. I'll have one of these bananas though." I declined the cereal. Unpeeled a banana for breakfast and got a glass of water.

"Suit yourself." Husband sits at the table eating a bowl, wife gathers herself and anything else for the day. She had herself a doctor's appointment this morning. I downed my water, tossed the peel, and now stood next to my bags as the couple prepared.

"Ready?" The man said as he slapped my shoulder. I looked at my stuff for a moment.

"Yeah." We all left the house into the cool morning air. The trunk was opened for me to put my bags. So we left this area. It was a community in itself, can't recall the name at the moment, but we passed a high school, and several long neighborhoods. "You can drop me off at the library in town." I said. I took note that it was open today while there yesterday. We drove to the hospital first as it was nearest.

"All right," wife said to me as she was leaving, "Be careful, be safe, have fun. See you." I waved as she got out and made her way to the building. The man drove off right away, I stayed in the back seat while the passenger was vacant. It was silent until we made it to the library. We both got out now and went to the trunk. I grabbed the bags and set them down.

"Here you are." He said, extending his hand for a farewell shake. "Whatever you're looking for, better find it and get back home. Make some realistic goals, settle down, and it will be easier." He said with a slight smile, half joking half serious.

"I'll think about it." I said while gripping his hand in mine, still limp. "Thanks for, everything, take it easy." He got back in the car and drove back the way we came. I stretched out my arm for a still wave as he drove away.

So, I went up to the library doors. It opened at nine, I imagine it was barely eight now. Guess I'll wait. First I walked to a store I'd seen a few blocks away. Bought a hot and ready breakfast bowl as I was hungry now. I wasn't at all earlier, even then, I don't really like eating so quickly after waking up. This plus a drink was about five dollars, I had a bunch. I walked back to the library and sat outside on a bench and ate. The walk probably killed twenty minutes. Other patrons began gathering around waiting for it to open. A scruffy man came and sat next to me. "Where are you headed?" He asked, assuming I was traveling with my bags.

"Not sure. As far as I can go." He nodded once, simply. He told me where there were shelters around here but I didn't pay much attention. I looked at my breakfast, mostly gone, and I was full. "Do you want the rest of this? There's like a few bites left."

"Sure, what the hell." He said. I handed it to him along with the included plastic spork. I got up and picked up my things, the library was getting ready to unlock the doors.

I was here for maybe two hours, wrote another entry for this journal, wasted the time I was allowed with a one day computer guest pass. When I was done, I bid farewell to anyone I was talking to online and set out again. Walked yet again to the place I'd been dropped off. It was about noon. I felt behind, having been here as long as I was. I don't know why. Like I said, I don't have a schedule, destination. I just wanted to keep going. I felt uncomfortable, anywhere I was. No matter where, I've always had a similar feeling. I never wanted to be anywhere, always wanted to be somewhere else.

I had full bottles of water and still an okay amount of food with me but I stopped at a supermarket and bought some carrots. Felt like I hadn't (and wouldn't) eaten many vegetables. Can't hurt right?

I stood now on the side of the highway heading east, near the beginning of town. I took about my notebook and scrawled "SLC" in sharpie on a page, for a general idea of where I was going. I was here for a while, in the baking sun. Cars drove by, sporting Utah license plates, passing me by whether they had room or not. I waited for some time, an hour I would guess, when a sedan stopped to the side a ways past me. I looked back and saw a figure wave me over, so I shuffled to the car with my things.

A man got out of the driver's seat and opened the trunk. "You're going to Salt Lake City?"

"Yeah."

"Well join us!" He said enthusiastically. "We're on our way there now." This was fantastic, I thought. The other day getting a four hour plus ride to Elko, and now here all the way to Salt Lake. What luck. The man told the backseat passengers to make room for me after I set my things in the trunk, keeping a water bottle and the notebook I was using as a sign. Two girls roughly my age at a glance made room for me on the far left. The man introduced himself and everyone else. A nice family, bilingual to some degree. Wife (I assume) in the passenger seat, speaking in Spanish, or accented English. The man was fluent in both, and did most of the talking. One of the girls back here was as well, one wasn't. We headed off now.

"We're on our way to a concert in Salt Lake City tonight." The man explained.

...

It was a mostly silent ride, a long ride through the flat desert. Satellite radio played at a low volume.

After some time, we made our way into Utah. The girls in back and woman up front had been sleeping most of the way, but began to act more lively in the latter portion of the drive. We drove through the salt flats at a high speed, as the road was completely straight for miles. I observed the flats, quite an odd feature. Sparse dunes reflected on the ground. The endless white sea created this mirage effect, like we were driving on water. "Look, Lauren." The man said, pointing out to the wastes. Confused, I looked. He pointed more things out to a Lauren. The girl beside me replied.

"Is your name Loren too?" I asked her.

"Yeah." she said and chuckled. "Oh, we've got two Loren's in the car."

"We probably spell it different." I said. The girl on the far right began to be much more lively as well. The family conversed and laughed with each other as we continued into this state, new to me. The man played some Rush songs over the radio, to my enjoyment. "2112" entirely, was nice. I'd later learn this was the concert they were attending, although the girls would stay behind in a hotel room.

Many hours had passed before we entered the town of Salt Lake City. The way we came, I barely saw the Lake, but could still make a small portion of it out. We drove into the city limits. Under an overpass we passed a homeless man flying a sign, and we would stop soon after at a burger king. "Is this fine? I know you don't really have anywhere to go but we're on our way to our hotel now."

"This is fine." I said. "I'll figure it out." I smiled. We all got out and stretched our stiff muscles. I grabbed my things from the track to leave.

"We don't have much money," the man said.

"Oh you don't have to give me anything." I said.

"Come on now." He said, waving off my gesture. He dug around his pockets and in the center console for anything. "Let's see, three dollars and some change." He handed me. The woman now did the same, offering me a five. "Here, we have a lot of food we could spare." The man offered.

"I think I've reached maximum capacity." I said. "I have some food still too."

"Nonsense." He laughed. "Here, take something." He handed me two bottles of warm soda, a coke and a Dr. Pepper, and a can of Pringles.

"Well alright." I said, managing to stuff it away.

"Be safe youngster! Find your life!" He said in farewell as they drove away. The girls in the back waved.

Well, this is a pretty major checkpoint, I thought to myself. A large city. Let's see what I can do, it could go either way. I walked back to where I saw that homeless man. "Hey, do you want these?" I offered the chips and one of the sodas. Really had no room and didn't want to carry them in hand.

"Really?" He said in surprise.

"Yeah I'm fine giving them up."

"Hey thanks a lot man." He said. "Where are you coming from?"

"Elko."

"That's a far one. Got a lot of stuff there huh? Really livin it up. You might want to think about ditching it. Been homeless for twenty years and left everything behind. My life is right here." He motioned to a backpack.

"Yeah I know. It's a lot. Do you know where a library is?" I asked.

"Yeah.." He continued to give me directions to a train station and what to do from there. "You can't miss it, takes up a whole block. It's legal to fly signs here man. I made a lot just right here, going to another spot now. I've got a black habit, it's not a big one, but it is what it is."

"Yeah, hey thanks for the directions. Sorry the soda's warm."

"Hey, at least it's wet. Watch out around here with all that junk. There's creeps who'll jump on it first chance they get, take it all. Show no sign of anything of value." I walked in the direction of the station and while nodding.

"Thanks, see ya later." He said it was about four blocks down this street. I walked for five or so, turned around some, some more, couldn't find anything. I did find a snowcone shack that I was interested in. I walked slowly past while reading the menu, circled back to it after deliberation. Just two dollars for a large, I couldn't resist. Up to the counter I met a young lady.

"Thanks for stopping." She said.

"Can't go wrong with those prices." I ordered a blackberry.

"Are you traveling far? Where are you going, what are you doing here?" She asked, preparing the cone.

"Who knows." I said. "Just walking around."

"Oh. I hope you enjoy it here while you stay."

"Me too." She handed me a nice looking drink, I thanked her and paid. Before leaving, I inquired about the station.

"Oh the train? Yeah it's right on this side of the street three or four blocks down." Thanked her again and continued. The old man gave me some bunk directions. Right way, wrong distance. I was lost there for a second. Am I not lost anyway?

[this day will conclude next post]

I'd seriously buy a book of yours in that style.

Huh?

He means that you are an engaging storyteller, while retaining a low-key and relatable writing style.

This is just to say that I´ve really enjoyed reading about your adventures, MB, and thought that your idea of selling poetry was particularly ingenious.