The Lady's Comprehensive Guide to Sparks

ladyislingering · 04-06-2015, 12:09 PM

I was going to hold off on posting this video until we got to the next album, but I can't help myself.

This is the original Sparks line-up on German television (c. 1973). The quality isn't great but it's an incredibly rare capture. It isn't "live" footage, as Russell is miming. "Do Re Mi" appears on the next album, Woofer in Tweeter's Clothing.

Wonder Girl/Do Re Mi (Germany, 1973)

Our next track is one of highly questionable content. Strangely, it's not uncommon for a Sparks song to be rather suggestive. Take a listen first:

"Fa La Fa Lee"

Has it set in yet? Follow along with some lyrics, just in case.

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

To this day I'm not exactly sure whether the title is a clever joke in itself, or whether the matter is about a sister or a step-sister, but after a couple listens, it becomes apparent that this is, indeed, a song about incest.

Weird? Yes.
Creepy? Definitely.
But that's just Sparks.

Note: at about 2:09 you'll hear a similar sort of baseball-esque melody. Perhaps the protagonist has hit his home run?

ladyislingering · 04-06-2015, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ki

I hope you'll talk about the live show we saw. They certainly know how to put on a good show.

Until then, here's the review I wrote the night or two after the event.

Taken from my original post on tumblr:

Spoiler for Long read below:

Quote:

As promised, here’s my full recap of this magnificent evening. My throat still hurts from all the squealing/screaming/sobbing out in exasperation, and I’m still in a total state of shock over the entire event.

Robert (my loving boyfriend) and I arrived at the Neptune around 6. We noticed a small crowd in front of the theatre as we were walking around and exploring the University District; we had to check it out and see if the doors were opening early. There we met Sara (cactusunderpants) and some unknown people (one of which was a very young girl, and her boyfriend - she didn’t say a word but I felt like I’d seen her face somewhere - if that was you, please let yourself be known, you look like such a sweet girl). An older gentleman (maybe between 40-45 years old) noted that he traveled all the way to Seattle from Indianapolis. An older couple shared a pizza on the ground.

We talked about music, film, ourselves, tumblr, Sparks, and other things that nerdy folks talk about. Robert entertained everyone as usual; I showed a few people my tattoo and talked about my collection. One thing (as I was telling Robert the day before - he’s sort of a Sparks newcomer) I have always noticed is that Sparks fans have so much love for other fans. They’re polite, funny, kind, and just generally pleasant.

I wish I would have mentioned this as we were standing outside the theatre but I saw Ron peek out the window a couple times. His hat and glasses were unmistakable. I felt that had I mentioned it then, he wouldn’t think he was being all sneaky and cute anymore, so I didn’t want to ruin it for him. There was also a young man taking a picture of our crowd from across the street. I don’t know if he went to the show, but I waved at him. There was also a lonely looking young lady in black standing apart from our crowd, closer to the ticket booth.

The Neptune’s doors opened at about half past seven. Our little crowd went straight for front row; we were all literally touching the stage. It was like a nerdy Maelian mosh pit. Ron’s piano was about 3-4 feet from my reach. We spoke to a terrific lady in a green coat; her husband was equally cool. They’d just seen Sparks (and Prince) in Portland the day before. They were also delighted by my tattoo (and probably surprised that a young lady could have so much love for a band that hit their stride before she was ever born).
We were taunted when a couple guys came on to the stage to check Ron’s piano. We were beyond ecstatic when Ron arrived at 8 o'clock, right on the nose. Prompt and solemn. He played for a while; at some point he looked at Robert and I. I’m completely convinced we made eye contact for a full second at least. He finished the medley and everyone simply lost it.

Everyone was cheering, screaming, and clapping. There was an otherworldly energy all around us, and everyone knew it. I think all the ladies swooned when Russell arrived (at least, I know I did). Ron and Russell were dressed to perfection. I couldn’t believe I was so close to my heroes. I was within arms’ reach of two wonderful people who changed my life. All I could do was gaze with adoration. I was comfortable, though. Sparks have become such a huge part of my life that it was like seeing old friends. I’m not ashamed to admit that I did scream when Russell was on his tiptoes right next to my face, though (and practically any time he danced his way toward our end of the stage).

I can’t remember the exact set list, but I can tell you that “This Town Ain’t Big Enough for Both of Us” was definitely the biggest hit of the night. We were all singing along, as with most songs. A definite melody was heard over the crowd during “Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth”. There were tears in my eyes during “The Number One Song in Heaven”. The combination of Russell’s pure, soaring voice and Ron’s lush, delicate piano was absolutely lethal. I’d managed to keep the tears away for almost the entire show, but I was so touched. We were all touched. Out of all the places in the United States, they chose to come to Seattle for the first time. They chose us.

At some point I wasn’t exactly certain if Russell had tears rolling down his face, or if he was just sweating to death under the lights and his coat. Just watching him strut and jump around was stellar. I was too close to the stage to see Ron’s hands (fan problems, right?) but I assume I would have been staring at them the whole time. Russell’s mic had come undone at some point (this seems to be sort of a trend throughout this entire tour; their roadies are probably like “damn it, old man, chill out!”) and that was quite precious.

I know I was specifically told not to mention this, but the day before the show I was contacted by their PR via tumblr and instructed to get in touch with them via facebook. I was invited to meet Ron and Russell after the show, but it turned into this huge fiasco and nobody knew what was going on. An incredibly lovely and sweet lady checked my ID just to make sure it was really me, and Robert and I were given aftershow passes. Jealousy ensued and I apologize for any hearts broken.

After the show I went upstairs to use the restroom and I met Nicole (fyeah-sparks). Just as many others do, she took a handful of my hair and it was pretty hilarious. (Once again, if there was anyone, anyone I met there but I didn’t ask who you were on tumblr, I’m so sorry, please just let me know.)
Robert and I were led back into the theatre by a security guard. It sort of warmed my heart in an odd way that Ron and Russell were so well protected; I can’t even imagine what a task it must have been in the 70s, when their guards probably had to keep the girls back with machetes.

We were led up a small winding staircase and waited for a few minutes. My heart was racing; my hands were shaking and I felt as if I was going to faint. They were ready to see us. First I spotted Russell; I was surprised to find that we’re practically the same height (I’m 5'4"/163cm). We exchanged hellos (I could hardly breathe at this point and I forgot English and all sorts of terrible things) and he shook my hand. His hands were warm, soft, and gentle. I could have held them forever. I wish I could; I really and truly wish they had more time (we were informed that they had an early flight in the morning and so we didn’t want to inconvenience them).

I met Ron then, and I don’t remember what happened next but I basically blathered on like an idiot, showed them my tattoo, and asked if they’d take a photo with me. I gave Russell the letter I wrote, and we got in place for the photo. Russell touched my hair; I specifically remember his hand touching the slack of my hair, and patting it down, as if to be surprised at the length of it. All I could think was “oh my god, he touched my hair!” and Ron (I don’t recall, but he was standing a little further from me than Russell) well.. ??
I thanked them. As I was walking out Ron took my hand again and I must have held it for a full few seconds because his pinkie just sort of lazily drifted from my palm. Or maybe that’s just the way I touch the hands of those I love. He smiled at me. It was wonderful.

Nicole was on her way up as we were walking out. I fangirled all over her and told her that Russell had the softest, most lovely hands in all of existence. And it’s true. I met my heroes and I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much tenderness and love in the eyes of strangers in my entire life.
Thank you, everyone I met.

Thank you, Ron and Russell. I’m sorry I didn’t even introduce myself but I was so weak in the knees and awestruck by your wonder, and how much I love both of you - I was so overwhelmed.

I would wait another lifetime to see you two again. My life is now complete.

tl;dr version:

Front row - we were touching the stage.
The show was amazing.
Russell's mic came undone because he doesn't know how to chill.
Ron looked at Ki & I.
Backstage passes.
Russell touched my hair.
I briefly held the glorious hands of Ron Mael.
I cried.
I swooned for days in remembrance.

Oriphiel · 04-06-2015, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

That's the most common album art you'll come across, but there's one other (that I've only seen one copy of in my entire life - and couldn't afford at the time).

There's a few copies of the original pressing for sale on Discogs, but they're really expensive...

ladyislingering · 04-06-2015, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

There's a few copies of the original pressing for sale on Discogs, but they're really expensive...

It's such a rare find that I think my heart almost stopped cold when I found it at the record shop.

I still sort of resent myself for not picking it up, despite the fact that it would have drained my food intake for a couple weeks at the time

(I'm so glad I have a better job now.)

ladyislingering · 04-09-2015, 06:56 PM

I didn't mean to leave this thread hanging for three days - stuff just came up; close friends needed my care and consolation more than I needed to write. However, there's some good news - this post is a three-in-one, so brace yourselves.

Last time you indulged yourself in the gloriously bizarre welcoming of a song about incest. It's my personal opinion that this next track is about being slightly dissatisfied with your sexual partner. Treat yourself to a clumsy, whimsical melody.

"Roger"

Here are the lyrics so you can follow along.

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

"High C" is one of my favorite tracks from Sparks' debut album. The lyrics suggest that the protagonist is a dedicated fanboy who's come to put his favorite opera singer back into the spotlight. Harley's drumming is top-notch on this track.

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

"Fletcher Honorama" is another one of my personal favorites. It's remarkably different from the other tracks on the record, echoing Pink Floyd in terms of atmosphere, with the psychedelic feel of The Doors and the hypnotic vocal stylings of ours truly, Russell Mael.

Perhaps a song about a man who's last dying wish is to be famous?

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

Until next time.

ladyislingering · 04-10-2015, 08:38 PM

One of many special treats that come with being a Sparks fan: demos for pretty much every era of their career.

They're tricky to find, but they're out there (and usually not as loved as they should be). Here's the "Halfnelson demos" - all recorded between 1969 -1972, conveniently harnessed by the undercut.

Spoiler for "Halfnelson" demos - not on any album (rare psychedelic rock stuff):

Back to our regular programming:

"Simple Ballet" is a lovely track. Russell's vocals are crisp and pretty - heavy percussion, solid piano, and grand lyrics. In my opinion, this would have done very well as a single.

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

ladyislingering · 04-12-2015, 03:17 PM

I suppose it's time to bring up a couple special stories from Sparks' history.

One involves a sledgehammer and Russell Mael's skull.

From a fansite:

Quote:

The far more impressive Russell Mael's performance was the sledgehammer accident : During a show in Houston, Texas, Russell Mael went on stage with a sledgehammer. Sparks' singer threw the hammer up, the mallet came down on his head and there was blood everywhere. People though it was part of the act and thought it was fake blood but Russell Mael went to hospital... When Sparks appeared on "American Bandstand" Russell Mael still wielded his huge wooden sledgehammer.

Here's a clipping I spotted via tumblr:

The other involves a papier-mache boat for our next track: Slowboat.

Quote:

Sparks got a miniature ocean liner made out of papier-mache, and Russell Mael had burst out of it wearing a dark sailor suit to begin the show. In the name of props Russell Mael had a roadie who pushed him accross the stage in the boat on wheels during the song "Slowboat". Then the singer showered the audience with confetti ! The idea of the miniature ocean liner made out of papier-mache was inspired by Lucchino Visconti's "Death In Venice" movie (from the Thomas Mann's novella).

"Slowboat" is sort of a special song for me, personally, as it had a soothing quality when I was coming out of a deep addiction to sedatives (which eventually led to a long bout of alcoholism) and trying to deal with several losses that occurred in my life at the time when I bought this LP (about 2009/10ish). It's a very pretty, somewhat emotional song that still brings tears to my eyes just because of what it means to me.

No matter how many substances I was about to throw into my body, none of them would bring me any closer to someone I'd most recently lost.

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

"Biology 2" is perhaps the most peculiar track on the album. It's the only track that does not feature Russell on vocals - instead we're met with the strange (and slightly unsettling) vocal stylings of Earle Mankey. It's one of the more Zappa-esque Sparks tracks with a typical Maelian lyrical structure: another song about bangin'.

Bass-heavy.

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

Enjoy.

ladyislingering · 04-18-2015, 11:07 PM

I won't even try to decode the lyrics to this next track. It just sounds as if Russell Mael was just trying to write a psychedelic song in his youth with some nonsense words and this happened. A similar lyrical structure is to be found in a later song - "Instant Weight Loss". We'll get there.

"Saccharin and the War"

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

I've always adored this next track. I've always heard it to be a song written from the point of view of a man trying to impress his peers with his appreciation for a finer style of music. Ron's keyboard is, as always, at the forefront - though the heavy bass is not to be ignored. Russell's vocal form is wondrous here as well.

I actually have a friend/fellow Sparks fan who has a tattoo that reads "I smile like Herbert Hoover when they play".

"Big Bands"

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

"(No More) Mr. Nice Guys" wraps up this album perfectly. It's a hard-rocking track, lyrics spat out at breakneck speeds. This would have been an excellent single. (In fact, I think it was the B-side to "Wonder Girl".) We're treated to an unusually nasty edge in Russell's vocals.

Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW:

To wrap this chapter up, I've got a couple terrific photos of producer Todd Rundgren and Russell Mael.

Oriphiel · 04-19-2015, 07:42 AM

Quote:

The far more impressive Russell Mael's performance was the sledgehammer accident : During a show in Houston, Texas, Russell Mael went on stage with a sledgehammer. Sparks' singer threw the hammer up, the mallet came down on his head and there was blood everywhere. People though it was part of the act and thought it was fake blood but Russell Mael went to hospital... When Sparks appeared on "American Bandstand" Russell Mael still wielded his huge wooden sledgehammer.

Quote:

Sparks got a miniature ocean liner made out of papier-mache, and Russell Mael had burst out of it wearing a dark sailor suit to begin the show. In the name of props Russell Mael had a roadie who pushed him accross the stage in the boat on wheels during the song "Slowboat". Then the singer showered the audience with confetti!

Russell Mael is the man!

ladyislingering · 04-19-2015, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Russell Mael is the man!

Young Russell was often in a whole lot of trouble on stage throughout the 70s. Later in our adventure I'll be posting some videos that show some overexcited fans essentially trying to tear his clothes off and/or kidnap him.

04-06-2015, 12:09 PM	#11 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	I was going to hold off on posting this video until we got to the next album, but I can't help myself. This is the original Sparks line-up on German television (c. 1973). The quality isn't great but it's an incredibly rare capture. It isn't "live" footage, as Russell is miming. "Do Re Mi" appears on the next album, Woofer in Tweeter's Clothing. Wonder Girl/Do Re Mi (Germany, 1973) Our next track is one of highly questionable content. Strangely, it's not uncommon for a Sparks song to be rather suggestive. Take a listen first: "Fa La Fa Lee" Has it set in yet? Follow along with some lyrics, just in case. Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW: Fa la fa lee, she ain't heavy she's a brother to me What I need, she can't be Nature, nurture, who's to say? But still fa la, fa lee Anything between us is a felony Fa la fa lee, she thinks only of the higher parts of me Such a shame, were I she I'd set my sights much lower then I'd sing fa la fa la fa lee But as it stands now that would be a felony I sing fa la fa lee, but as it stands now that would be a felony To this day I'm not exactly sure whether the title is a clever joke in itself, or whether the matter is about a sister or a step-sister, but after a couple listens, it becomes apparent that this is, indeed, a song about incest. Weird? Yes. Creepy? Definitely. But that's just Sparks. Note: at about 2:09 you'll hear a similar sort of baseball-esque melody. Perhaps the protagonist has hit his home run? __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

04-09-2015, 06:56 PM	#15 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	I didn't mean to leave this thread hanging for three days - stuff just came up; close friends needed my care and consolation more than I needed to write. However, there's some good news - this post is a three-in-one, so brace yourselves. Last time you indulged yourself in the gloriously bizarre welcoming of a song about incest. It's my personal opinion that this next track is about being slightly dissatisfied with your sexual partner. Treat yourself to a clumsy, whimsical melody. "Roger" Here are the lyrics so you can follow along. Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW: I'm picking up where I once left off in the search for a justified balance between the wealth that I have now and the wealth that they all want to have Let's ask Roger if he knows what I mean Roger, Roger, let's take your Sue How does she do it Roger, how does she do it, Roger? Roger, Roger, has Sue got the balance right for you, Roger, I ask you Roger, has she got the balance right for you? Has she got it, has she got it? Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger "High C" is one of my favorite tracks from Sparks' debut album. The lyrics suggest that the protagonist is a dedicated fanboy who's come to put his favorite opera singer back into the spotlight. Harley's drumming is top-notch on this track. Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW: A picket fence, I leaped it Through your screen door, I gotta meet you High C up and High C down Since you left the opera you just frown a lot and mumble, "I'm humble." Press clippings hang from torn wallpaper A dust covered phone, no one would ring her High C up and High C down Since you left the opera you just frown a lot and you tell me Tell me of the times when you were so big in Vienna And the people paid good money just to hear you in your splendor But that's all over now That's all over now Limited tastes, I wish I could help you A rock-headed lad, I have got to help you High C up and High C down Since you left the opera you just frown a lot and mumble, "I'm humble." Come on home with me and will sing our little hearts out We will hit High C or maybe somewhere thereabouts "Fletcher Honorama" is another one of my personal favorites. It's remarkably different from the other tracks on the record, echoing Pink Floyd in terms of atmosphere, with the psychedelic feel of The Doors and the hypnotic vocal stylings of ours truly, Russell Mael. Perhaps a song about a man who's last dying wish is to be famous? Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW: Fletcher Honorama won't you rally 'round the man who's on a limb? Sing the songs that please him very softly while we jolt him with a hymn Please, go easy now with him Because this is his final whim So be sure that the boy don't die before the morn Fletcher Honorama shall we justify the eighty Junes you've seen? Since that might be stretching things we'll merely sing the songs that made you scream Please, go easy now with him Because this is his final whim So be sure that the boy don't die before the morn Intakes and mistakes and lunch pails and headaches were willed to your one living twin I think that maybe you should have kept half of them, after all you worked for them After all you worked for them Telecast in fifty states and brought to you by Anti-Wrinkle Dew That's Fletcher Honorama see the world now from a different point of view You, go easy now with him Because this is his final whim So be sure that the boy don't die before the morn So be sure that the boy don't die before the morn Until next time. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

04-10-2015, 08:38 PM	#16 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	One of many special treats that come with being a Sparks fan: demos for pretty much every era of their career. They're tricky to find, but they're out there (and usually not as loved as they should be). Here's the "Halfnelson demos" - all recorded between 1969 -1972, conveniently harnessed by the undercut. Spoiler for "Halfnelson" demos - not on any album (rare psychedelic rock stuff): Here's a thought everyone's had when renting: where the fuck is my landlord/landlady when I need something?? Here's a neat psychedelic groove. "Landlady" And one that sounds a lot like something The Turtles, the Association, or the Cowsills would have recorded: "Big Rock Candy Mountain" Some Strawberry Alarm Clock-flavored grooves: "Jane Church/The Factory" And something spooky as hell: "Computer Girl" Back to our regular programming: "Simple Ballet" is a lovely track. Russell's vocals are crisp and pretty - heavy percussion, solid piano, and grand lyrics. In my opinion, this would have done very well as a single. Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW: In the city, in the country, in the towns throughout the world All will join in, in the big scene, So won't you please take off your shoes? It's a ballet, simple ballet, so let's dance on Pick a partner, take a tall one, take a small one, take a fat one and let's dance on Crews will film it, add the music while the world has its feet engaged Some critics love it, yet some pan it, some say "it's likely to cause a rage" There'll be long shots, there'll be close shots, there'll be mid-shots Simple ballet was an idea, then a novel, next a movie, soon on T.V. It's promotion of a new way of thinking Instead of "Hey, orange drink," vendors will say, "get your souvenir posters of the ballet." Do a plie' for the D.A. when he comes round Your alleged conduct with the director has raised some questions that he wants answered (Good for the ratings) It's a ballet, we thought a ballet and we danced on We had no idea you'd hang out your coat on an issue thin as tissue so we danced our ballet And we danced our ballet And we danced our ballet __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

04-18-2015, 11:07 PM	#18 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	I won't even try to decode the lyrics to this next track. It just sounds as if Russell Mael was just trying to write a psychedelic song in his youth with some nonsense words and this happened. A similar lyrical structure is to be found in a later song - "Instant Weight Loss". We'll get there. "Saccharin and the War" Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW: Fifteen years the bus had waited Before it moved on into the town Eye liner worn by all their girls Through the night the war was fought Each "eye liner" took two small drops Reaction - Elation - Joy, Joy, Joy Every girl took in a doctor The Constitution says: "you must house the men" Each doctor undermined a plot All the weight that was soon lost They erected as a golden cross Remember the weight is no longer here Through the street girls sang The marching bands brought on the rain The Doctors stood by the gold cross One "eye liner" she had an idea She read the Book, the Golden Book It seems another Man had come across a cross Dr. Jones they crucified But, all their weight was returned back Ha, Ha for all the girls now I've always adored this next track. I've always heard it to be a song written from the point of view of a man trying to impress his peers with his appreciation for a finer style of music. Ron's keyboard is, as always, at the forefront - though the heavy bass is not to be ignored. Russell's vocal form is wondrous here as well. I actually have a friend/fellow Sparks fan who has a tattoo that reads "I smile like Herbert Hoover when they play". "Big Bands" Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW: I smile like Herbert Hoover when they play I dream of banker's daughters, better days Care to dance my lady Live near here? They certainly sound in fine form, do you care? I am quite partial Broke, spent, I still marshall (all my strenght when big bands play) Follow me my lady to my home See my large collection, some on loan Of every big band record ever made I had to sell my heater, so don't shake I am quite partial Broke, spent, I still marshal all my strength when big bands blare I smile like Herbert Hoover when the big bands play I dream of banker's daughters, better days For I am quite partial Broke, spent, I marshal all my strength when big bands play Knowing of their flare for filling empty stomachs, empty hearts, they're not so far apart, they're not so far apart And if you can't sleep late one night, It's not your coffee, it's the bunk I am quite partial Broke, spent, I still marshall all my strength I smile like Herbert Hoover when the big bands play I frequent the dance halls most every night into the day I know the name of every trombone player that exists They don't know I used to blow before the Crash had hit our land Before the Crash I find it so much warmer in the ballroom than at home A common bond unites us so we're really not alone Sure we've got some problems, but tonight we won't admit it Take my hand my lady friend, we'll make it seem like we were there tonight "(No More) Mr. Nice Guys" wraps up this album perfectly. It's a hard-rocking track, lyrics spat out at breakneck speeds. This would have been an excellent single. (In fact, I think it was the B-side to "Wonder Girl".) We're treated to an unusually nasty edge in Russell's vocals. Spoiler for LYRICS BELOW: Just when sin is quite the thing, there's one who holds quite tight to what had worked before What's his outlet, what's his secret, is it something one can buy at some drug store? Could the gospel be his girl, Does he exercise by breaking 2 by 4's? Just what is his game? Could he be enticed? No one's quite lame No one's quite nice No more Mr. Nice Guys Few are left but him No more Mr. Nice Guys The Nice Guys cannot and the Nice Guys shall not, the Nice Guys will not win She expressed a strong desire in relieving him of his anxiety She succeeded very well for now she's mother to a nice family If you had to call a winner you would call it her, though she might disagree He could be enticed His game had to end But he's still quite nice She sees other men than him No more Mr. Nice Guys Nice guys won't suffice No more Mr. Nice Guys The Nice Guys cannot and the Nice Guys Shall not, the Nice Guys won't suffice To wrap this chapter up, I've got a couple terrific photos of producer Todd Rundgren and Russell Mael. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.