Trollheart

“Planet of the Dead, Part III”

First print date: July 15 1978
Prog appearance: Starlord Issue 10
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Carlos Ezquerra
Total episodes: 3

News of Johnny and Wulf's escape from the trap set by McIntyre reaches the huge computer, who orders robot squads into the city to take care of him. The bounty hunters, however, are already inbound back to the city, where they have a score to settle with McIntyre. Nobody likes to be used, and Johnny's ire is up. When shooting the robots sent after them becomes too easy and unsatisfying, Johnny leaps in with his own version of the Viking berserker fury, wielding the deadly electronux, which allows him to go hand-to-hand with the robots. Watching from the palace, Crynge can't believe the two humans are taking on their finest, and despatches their biggest robot, a giant aptly called Big Boy, to crush them.

With Wulf ready to fall back against the massive robot's assault, lasers bouncing off its portable force field, Johnny uses the electronux to create a gap in the field (narrowly avoiding being squashed like a bug) and Wulf throws a thermo bomb through the space. Teh robot is torn to pieces, leaving no further resistance as the two make their way to their confrontation with the city computer. But realising that McIntyre is totally dependent on Crynge, Johnny decides that instead of destroying the huge computer, he will instead name his reward. One thing of value from the city, Crynge had said, and now Alpha takes it, choosing Crynge himself. Left without his eyes and ears, McIntyre wails into the unforgiving silence, left to rule alone, over nobody and nothing, unaware of what is happening around it, truly a king ruling a planet of the dead.

Quotes

Crynge: “The Strontium Dog and his partner escaped the explosion we used to kill the Jox, Sire. I've ordered all robot squads out to hunt them down.”
McIntyre: “What's that, Crynge? What's that you say? Eh? Eh?”
Crynge: “I said, the Strontium Dog and his partner are still at large!”
McIntyre: “Well why didn't you say that in the first place? What are you waiting for? Order all the robot squads out to hunt them down!”

Wulf: “He has der killing frenzy, like my Viking ancestors they got. He is very dangeorus like this, but to himself too!”

Crynge: “Never seen anything like it, Sire. They're destroying the robots --- every last one of them! We'll have to send out Big Boy!”

McIntyre: “Power's no good if there's no-one to boss around!”

Tools of the Trade

Johnny again uses the electronux, which we saw him use previously and also this episode he employs a thermo bomb, or Wulf does anyway. We're not told specifically what that is, but as it's a force capable of melting even the massive Big Boy, then it can be reasonably assumed that it is a miniature thermonuclear bomb. As the robot is encased in a forcefield, and Johnny's electronux only temporarily disturbed that in order to make a gap through which Wulf could throw the bomb, the entire force of the explosion is contained within the forcefield when it is re-established.

Letter of the Law

Here we see Alpha divert a little from his up to now unswerving dedication to the law. Rather like Dredd, he often undertakes jobs that he may not agree with, but always plays within the limits of his authority and what is legal. Here though, he turns on his “employer”, considering, but not implementing in the end, the destruction of the machine which is, like it or not, the legal authority on this planet. Of course, he has been brought here on false pretences and the computer did try to get him killed, so I guess you can cut him some slack. Plus, who wants to be known as the man who was tricked into completing the extinction of an entire race?

Show no mercy?

You could say he does. He is angry enough to blow the computer to bits, but in the end opts for what could be seen as a crueller punishment for McIntyre. Like Wesley in The Princess Bride, on this occasion he prefers not to fight to the death, but to the pain. Forcing McIntyre to live the rest of his --- possibly immortal --- life without the assistance of his robot Crynge is truly a living death for the computer, and while it has already begun to show signs of madness, this will surely only worsen in the years, decades and centuries ahead. He has spared the computer's “life”, but condemned it to a living Hell. And so, in retaining his reputation for showing mercy, he has in fact been the most brutal he has been so far.

Messages

There are of course two morality messages in this story. One, that the likes of Neutron bombs are too horrible to even consider being used, and that man should try to avoid ever being forced to employ such weapons of mass destruction. And two, that, like much of 2000AD seems to preach (especially Judge Dredd), robots and computers are not to be trusted. Hand power to one and you have a Skynet situation. There is I suppose a third message, this being that power corrupts, no matter your biological or technological makeup. And finally, a fourth even: that those who serve in a lower place can often wield the true power. Without Crynge to tell him what is happening and carry out his orders, McIntyre is nothing more than a massive hunk of metal, just as many presidents, kings and despots have found that without their most trusted advisors they are unable to function.

PCRs

Not quite one, but Johnny does refer to McIntyre as a “tinpot dictator”, a popular term for any third world ruler who seized power and then became a tyrant, or probably more accurately, any “dictator” who didn't fall in line with the wishes of the major powers, mostly America.

There's also something of a reference to two old original Star Trek episodes in the final panel, where we hear the pathetic voice of McIntyre crying out to space that he doesn't want to be alone.

Also, the name of the massive robot is very close to that given to one of the atom bombs dropped on Japan at the end of the Second World War.

Houston, we have a problem!

All right then, let's get into it. How in the hell did this loopy computer get in touch with Johnny? Does S/D advertise its services, or take in commissions? Well I suppose it must, and technically the computer (which, had it contacted the agency, is unlikely to have allowed the fact that it is not human to have been known) was and is the legal authority in City 4, so perhaps it could have asked for help. Still, it would have been nice to have had a quick line explaining this, as otherwise it could be argued that McIntyre contacted Wulf and Johnny personally and directly, so that this would not be an official commission and might therefore have allowed them more scope as to how they carried out the job.

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Trollheart

“Smoker's crime”

First print date: July 30 1977
Prog appearance: 23
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Mike McMahon
Total episodes: 1

Everyone knows smoking is bad for your health. Some people choose to ignore that risk, and that, in this century, is their right, as smoking is certainly legal (as long as it's only tobacco you're smoking!), however in Mega-City One this is a crime, at least to smoke in public is, and can land you in an iso-cube faster than you can say “I'm gasping for a cigarette!” It is though a relatively minor crime, and not something to really trouble Dredd, until he is called to the scene of a bank robbery, which has also turned into a murder. One bank teller was brave/stupid enough to try to hit the silent alarm and was shot dead for his trouble. As Dredd arrives at the bank, the cops there tell him there are no clues, since the thieves were all wearing old spacesuits, but Dredd reaches down and picks up a cigar butt. All tobacco products carry a special brand on them, and since Dredd chooses to believe that none of these law-abiding citizens could have been smoking and breaking the law in the bank (surely if they had been, the cops there would have arrested them or called the Judges?), this could very well be a clue to the murdering bandits' identities, or at least their location.

He tracks the butt to a cigar shop, where the owner protests his innocence: none of his customers, he tells the angry Judge, smoke on the streets. But Dredd lies in wait for the thieves, who return to the shop to buy a celebratory box of cigars for their leader before hightailing it out of town. Dredd gets the drop on them, but Al, the leader, is outside waiting for his henchmen to bring him his favourite smokes and hears the commotion. He shoots at Dredd, who surprises him by coming, not out of the door, but through the window on his Lawmaster! Pursuing the felon, Dredd warns him he is risking summary execution at the hands of his bike's cannons, but the lawbreaker runs into another building, shooting a guard as he enters.

Unfortunately for Al though, he has blundered into the Smokatorium, the only public place in the city where smoking is allowed, once smokers wear encasing helmets which keeps the smoke away from each other. Stumbling into the thick, choking atmosphere of the Smokatorium, Al staggers and runs blindly out, right into Dredd who, after warning him to drop his gun, drops the perp.

Quotes

Dredd: “You didn't actually light those disgusting objects, so I can let you off with a warning. Now beat it! I got better things to do than lecture stupid kids!”

Teen: “There goes Dredd! Just seein' him makes me edgy!”
(A sentiment many in the city no doubt share!)

Al: “Friend, I just wasted a good cigar! Now I'm gonna waste you!”

Mr.Rizzo: “There you are, gents. But you know the law: no smoking on the streets!”
Thug: “Who cares about pollution? We just robbed a bank!”
(How obliging of the thief to confirm the suspicions of Dredd, who is lying in wait. Not that the lack of such evidence would really stop the Judge, but I guess it's nice to be sure. A readymade confession!)

Dredd: “Only dead men walk out of doors, lawbreaker! Smart ones use the window!”

Dredd: “You have just added dangerous driving to your list of crimes!”
(What does it matter though? The guy murdered someone in cold blood: surely he faces a summary death sentence for that?)

Dredd: “You were given the warning and you ignored it. Now you know too late: smoking damages your health!”
(Ah, John! Did you have to?)

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Looks like they're still working on what to call the criminals. Eventually they would end up being perps (perpetrators) when spoken of, and creep when spoken to, but here Dredd chooses to describe them as lawbreakers. Which of course they are. He has also used the word citizen to describe them, which is technically also true.

Laughing in the face of death

Well it's a kind of obvious last sentence, but I suppose it might be good for a chuckle, back then.

Return of the Nitpicker!

The language here is a little stilted again. Though Al and his gang use the usual rough talk, as they hold up the bank they refer to the customers as “citizens”, when something cruder --- richos, losers, snobs, creeps even --- would I think have been more believable.


I'll ask the questions, Creep!

How is it possible that there's a loophole in the law that allows cigarettes to be sold, as long as they're not smoked on the streets? And how can the owner of the shop declare that his customers don't smoke on the streets? How does he know? Has he signed affidavits from them all? Surely this is the same argument used by warez sites, for instance, when they advise any downloaders to delete the files once they've “researched” them, in the full knowledge that nobody is going to take any notice of this?

Also, where in the good green Hell did those robbers get those spacesuits? And is it coincidence that they link to the smokers' helmets in the Smokatorium? And would not a bunch of guys so dressed, walking into a bank, attract, not only the attention of any passing Judge on their entrance but be easily spotted leaving? How could they have just melted away into the crowd, wearing such easily identifiable outfits? Sure, they probably ditched them soon after, but unless they took them off right at the door (which they couldn't have; astronaut suits take a long time to put on and take off, and the alarm had been raised so they were in a hurry) they would have had to have ditched them either at a safe house (which they don't seem clever enough to have arranged beforehand) or in an alley, where they could be easily found, DNA-printed I assume, and thus tracked down?

Whose hand did Al burn when he put out his cigar on it? We're led to believe it's the teller who raised the alarm, and who he subsequently shoots, but we can see in the next panel that the guy is too far away to have been in direct contact with the perp. He shoots him from a short distance --- a few feet maybe --- away. So he was unlikely to have had him brought up to him, stubbed out his cigar on his hand and then pushed him away before shooting him. Is the hand, then, that of one of his own men? We're not told, but as they exit the bank, none of the robbers are wincing or holding their hand. So who was it? It's a very small niggle, but you know me: I love pulling at loose threads!

The officer Dredd speaks to in the bank has an armband that reads “Bank Squad”. Is this a division of the local police (we saw there are “normal” cops, ie not Judges, in a previous story) hired out to protect the banks, and if so, where the hell were they when the robbery was being committed? If not, perhaps they're a private security firm banks employ themselves. Same question. And if the latter, why would Dredd address him as “officer”? If a cop is talking to a security guard he doesn't use that term, as the man is seen as a civilian.

Is it just me, or does that guy Rizzo look like Hitler?

I AM THE LAW!

Is he though? Twice here, Dredd reveals something of a confusing grasp of the law. In the first panels, he lets some kids go because they had not lit up their cigarettes. But they were in possession of them in the street, and he knows they were about to smoke them, so surely intent is the same in the law as actual action? Should they not have been arrested for, let's say, “intent to smoke”? Was Dredd being kind here, letting them off? Dredd? Kind?

More to the point though: Al and his cronies have killed a bank teller. This surely, in as fascist a city as Mega-City One, carries a mandatory death penalty. Not only that, but Al kills another guy on his way into the Smokatorium and was lying in wait to attempt to kill Dredd when he came out. So why then does the Judge give him the option of surrender? Surely nothing but death awaits the perp, who must know that, and chooses to go out in a blaze of glory. Why then does Dredd say “Your choice”. Was it? We'll see later that Dredd is not above dispensing instant justice on the spot for such crimes: why not here?

Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

Where smoking has been banned, outlawed and is entirely illegal, unless you smoke in the one place in Mega-City One created for that purpose, the Smokatorium. Actually, it may be legal to smoke indoors, as the proprietor of the tobacco shop, Rizzo, goes to great lengths to remind Dredd that none of his customers smoke on the streets. Perhaps what a citizen does in the privacy of their own home is not the pervue of the Judges? Yet...

At any rate, the Smokatorium is a purpose-built building where those who wish to may indulge their filthy habit legally, and in a safe environment: safe for them, and safe for the public. Smokers put on large astronaut-style helmets, to which are affixed something like a breathing tube. The cigarette, cigar or pipe is inserted here and goes through to the person's mouth. Smoking can then be indulged in while all around them smoke their own brand and nobody breathes the smoke of anyone else. This smoke of course floats around in a cloud outside the helmets, deadly with its carcinogens and poisons, but nobody would be stupid enough to enter the Smokatorium without a helmet, now would they? Since it's not fully explained, I can only assume the helmet is fitted before one enters the room, as if you had to wait to get “suited up”, you would probably already be breathing someone else's secondhand smoke.

Messages

Only one clear and rather heavy-handed one: smoking kills. There's really nothing else you can take from this episode, other than that Dredd always gets his man. It's overall a pretty poor and weak episode really, which exists for one reason and one reason alone: to warn kids about the dangers of smoking. And while that's a laudable goal, let's be honest here: no government in reality wants people to stop smoking altogether. Think of the loss to the Exchequer! Think of the unemployment. Think of the foreign investments that would pull out. Think of the loss of advertising revenue and even the reduced need, perhaps, for doctors. No, like it or not, the plague of smoking is with us to stay, and any government that increases the price of a pack of twenty does so in the clear and unambiguous knowledge that smokers will pay. They're a valuable source of revenue, and sure if millions of them die, what of it? The next generation is waiting to take their place, and always will be.

So this serves as almost a campaign advertisement for the anti-smoking lobby. In the hope that the kids would think that if someone as tough and cool as Dredd hates smoking, they will too, the story is written to warn kids off the dangers of tobacco and perhaps to try to counteract, with harsh reality and a dose of black humour, the entreaties of the cigarette companies who, at this point, were still allowed to advertise and make smoking look cool.

There is some delicious irony in the fact that smoking ends up being the perp's undoing. He who loves the cigars so much finds that even he can't stand the unrestricted smoke and it forces him out into the street, into a confrontation with Dredd which costs him his life. Like they say: smoking kills.

Nothing changes?

From the days of the Wild West, cigarette and cigar stores have had (for some reason) a wooden bust of an Indian (Native American) in their shop. Here, even though it's the twenty-second century, it would seem this practice is still continued. Plus ca change, non?

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Trollheart

“The Wreath Murders”

First print date: August 6 1977
Prog appearance: 24
Writer(s): Malcolm Shaw
Artist(s): Mike McMahon
Total episodes: 1

A spate of seemingly random murders has been plaguing Mega-City One, all characterised by the leaving of a floral wreath on each body, earning them the dubious nickname “The Wreath Killings”. Frustrated with being unable to solve the crimes and bring the perpetrator to justice, Dredd resorts to quizzing the Hall of Justice's mainframe, MAC (stands for Macro Analysis Computer) and turns up one link: every murder scene was attended by the same ambulance. Can this be put down to mere coincidence or even over-zealousness on the part of the ambulance driver? Dredd thinks not, and tracks the ambulance to the retirement district, where the two are in the middle of the commission of a robbery, to be followed by the removal of the only witness.

Seeing Dredd's bike on the flat's viewscreen, the two pretend to be hurt, allowing one to get the jump on Dredd, but of course he is too quick and that now just leaves one medic to be dealt with. However he has dropped his gun, and now the lawbreaker picks it up, intending the Lawgiver to be the instrument of the Judge's own destruction. Little does he know though, that all Judges' weapons are DNA-coded to their owner and only accept the proper thumbprint to operate them. In the event they are used illegally, the gun has a built-in self-destruct which now activates, taking the perp with it as it explodes. As Dredd tosses a wreath on the two now-corpses, the irony could not be clearer.

Quotes
Citizen 1: “When's the Judge gonna find this maniac?”
Cop: “Aw come on! Give the Judge a break! Has he ever let you down? Trust him!”
Citizen 2: “Well he had better find him soon or he won't deserve the name of Judge!”
(This is an interesting peek into the simmering tensions that are always just below the surface between the Judges and the citizens. They're happy to have Dredd and his people keep them safe (as long as they don't end up on the Judges' wrong side, of course!) but like any crowd, they're ready to turn when fear and resentment and frustration begins to turn to anger and recriminations. And no matter how fascist a force the Judges are, they must be aware that, however emergency their original rise to power was, the people put them there and the people have the power to remove them. Whether or not the Judges would agree to go is another matter, but nobody wants the likes of a civil war on their hands!)

Dredd: “Come on MAC! Search your circuits! There must be some pattern to these crimes!”
MAC: “Terrorised populace ... Ambulance 4-2X removed the bodies from all crimes...”
(It might seem like MAC has hit upon the link here (and it has) but all the computer is doing is listing the facts behind the case. It has not made any connection; to it, there would not appear to be one. It's up to Dredd to make the human leap of logic and connect the dots, see the clue for what it is. Like they say, computers may get bigger and more powerful, but you'll never do away with the human element completely. Take that, Skynet!)


Victim: “Please! Take everything I own, but don't kill me!”
Perp: “We'll take everything all right sucker, but we're gonna kill you too! You'd only blab to the Judges!”
(This is remarkably similar to the guy who gets mugged in “Mugger's Moon”; he too pleaded for all he had to be taken but his life spared, and the thugs replied almost word for word to his abject plea.)

Dredd: “But the odds against that happening are a million to one! That's how they got away every time! Thanks MAC! You're a pal!”
MAC: “What is pal? Insufficient data. Please program data...”
(These computers can be pretty stupid huh? PAL: Policeman And Lawmaker! )

Perp: “Dropped your gun, Dredd! Now you're gonna pay! How'd you like to go? High explosive bullet? Hot Shot? What the ---? It won't fire!”
Dredd: “It's programmed to accept my handprint only. It also has a self-destruct mechanism if anyone else tries to use it!”
(There's an inherent flaw here. Say two Judges are fighting a perp. One gets disarmed and the other is down. Can the disarmed Judge grab his partner's weapon (ooer!)? I think they later upgraded this to a DNA response to any Judge, but I'm not quite sure.)

Famous firsts

This is the first time we hear of the Lawgiver's self-destruct capacity, which is triggered once anyone other than its registered owner tries to use it. Annoyingly though, the gun is again not named.

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“You Bet Your Life!”

First print date: August 13 1977
Prog appearance: 25
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Ian Gibson
Total episodes: 1

As the citizens of Mega-City One search for more and more ways to fill their often dull and boring lives, the staple of the cud-chewing, television-watching common man, the game show, is extremely popular, and one of the biggest hits on the vidscreen is the show You Bet Your Life. It is, of course, carried on an illegal pirate channel, as this show really does take your breath away! Literally. Contestants compete for big cash prizes, and if they fail, they are killed. Dredd has been trying to track down the station for some time, and when he catches his manservant robot Walter watching it, he is furious, but realises that this may be the break he's been waiting for. Taking Walter with him, he uses the robot's tracker to trace the signal. As they home in on it, the show is in full swing. One of the contestants has just condemned his grandmother to a life (presumably, a very short one!) of penal servitude in the plutonium mines in Mutant Land.

As the woman is led away in shackles, terrified, her grand-daughter is given the choice of taking 10,000 credits or opening the mystery box. Of course, she goes for the box, inside which is a poisonous spider. She is not long for this world either, and Dredd and Walter, though they have located the signal, have not arrived in time to save her. As they kick in the door and shoot the guards posted at the entrance, they see that the remaining member of the family is being asked to spell a word (which does not exist: they made it up) for his chance to win one million credits. Unfortunately, the alternative is to have his head sliced off by the guillotine he is now resting his neck on.

Dredd bursts in, sees the descending blade, thinks fast. As the gameshow host and his assistant leg it, the Judge shoots at the blade, causing it to split in two. The two halves then end up in the backs of each of the fleeing perps. Justice has been served.

Quotes

Baby Bob Nicely: “Okay Sheldon, here's your question. For 10,000 credits or a nasty end for granny: who was the 53rd president of the United States? I'll give you a clue, Sheldon: say President Bates.”
Sheldon: “Uh, I'll say President Bates, Bob.”
Bob: “Wrong!”
Sheldon: “But you said...”
Bob: “I lied! Never mind, Sheldon! Good game, good game!”

Dredd: “Walter! Turn that off this instant!”
Walter: “But ... but Judge Dwedd! This is Walter's favouwite pwogwamme!”
Dredd: “It's also so illegal that you could be dismantled for even watching it! They kill people on that show!”
(Interesting point: Dredd professes to hate Walter (as do we all of course) but here, where he would legally be within his rights to blast the bot to pieces, dispensing instant justice, he hold back and allows Walter to turn off the vid. Is he remembering the Robot Wars, and the part Walter played in them? Is he reluctant to stir up anti-human sentiment, should such an incident be reported? Harmless robot killed for watching television program! Does he just then realise he can use Walter to track the station, or is it something softer, deep down inside him, that stays his hand? Does he in fact not only tolerate the little mech, but actually like him? Or does he just feel sorry for him?)

Bob: “This is the part of the show where Sheldon's wife Penelope is offered 10,000 credits or the prize contained in the mystery box. What's it going to be, Penny?”
Penelope: “Oh, I don't know, Bob!”
Crowd: “Take the money!”
Other section of the crowd: “Open the box!”
Walter (watching on his screen, behind Dredd on his Lawmaster): “Open the box!”
Dredd: “Shuttup, Walter!”

Bob: “Well Sheldon, you've lost your entire family. How do you feel about answering the sudden death question?”
Sheldon: “Uuh, good Bob. I feel good!”
Bob: “All right then. For one million credits or a one-way trip to the mortuary, spell Glynxxpittle!”

Bob: “Time's up! It's been really great having you on the show, Sheldon! You Bet Your Life it has!”

Laughing in the face of death

Well this whole episode is a laugh riot all the way through. Possibly not too far from the truth either, with the way game shows, which have now pretty much given way to reality shows, are going. Back in '77 though the only kind of reality show was the likes of “Badgers at night” by the BBC Wildlife Studios, and weren't we all much happier? But the dark thread running through this humourous story shows us that the host of YBYL is in no way ready to hand over money to the contestants. From giving them the wrong answer as a “clue” to outright making stuff up, as he does with the word he asks Sheldon to spell (even had he somehow got it right, no doubt Bob would have said it was wrong, and who would correct him?), Baby Bob Nicely makes sure that anyone who is foolish enough to bet their life on his show always loses it. I suppose in a way that makes it even more popular, as citizens vie to be the first to survive and defeat the show, and scoop the million credits it offers, which surely they don't have anyway.

Bob Nicely is a caricature of every smarmy gameshow host you've ever seen, from his glued-on smile to his condescending remarks, his loud clothes and louder personality masking a psychotic killer using this show as a way to stalk his prey --- no, he doesn't even have to stalk them. They come to him, and he gets to practice his art live on television. What more could a serial killer ask?

It is quite mildly funny when Walter, in pursuit of the station with Dredd and as referenced in the “Quotes” section, gets caught up in the show himself and shouts “Open the box!” He's not a very bright robot though, is he? Or perhaps just naive, if he can't understand what's going on in front of his visor. Or maybe he thinks it's all for show.


I'll ask the questions, Creep!

Given that the show is illegal anyway, is there any hope for granny, who is about to begin a short but brutal stay at hotel Mutant? Penelope is dead, nothing the Judge can do about that. But if they chase after the thugs who took his grandmother away, surely they can catch them and prevent her being transported? I don't believe Mega-City One has any sort of matter teleport system, so the muties would have to come for her in a craft, or she be taken to them, (probably the latter, as aren't mutants banned from entering the city?) and a road block could be set up. But is the Judge willing to expend such manpower and time, I wonder, in helping what is technically a lawbreaker? Then again, did granny really realise what her grandson was getting her into? And then again, Dredd often says ignorance of the law is no excuse, so maybe he might be expected to leave her to her fate? We're not told, anyway: I just wondered.

I AM THE LAW!

Participation in an unlawful enterprise is, to Dredd, as bad as masterminding it, and to prove there is no innocent party here, he announces to all of the audience that they are under arrest. No doubt if he can trace those watching at home, they'll be heading for the cubes too. Later, we'll see him bring in the entire Eurovision (probably Megavision) Song Contest to be locked up!

Messages

The only one really is that man's greed is eternal, and people will do anything --- including risking the lives of their families as well as their own --- to attain a fortune. Also, I guess, that there has to be a ceiling (or floor) beyond which popular entertainment is not allowed to progress. There's taste, there's opportunism, and then there's the law.

Nothing changes?

It doesn't really. People remain as stupid and as greedy as they are now, still prepared to risk everything --- even their lives --- for their shot at that golden ring. Never gonna learn. And whatever is outlawed just goes underground. Happened with radio, then rave parties, drugs and now television shows of a, shall we say, dubious nature. The nature of the beast does not change.

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Chapter III: “The judge of all the Earth”
(From Genesis: Chapter 18, V. 25: “Shall not the judge of all the Earth do right?”)

The world stands poised on the brink of nuclear armageddon. Everyone expects it, and the whisper of approaching death is loud in the air. Rorschach is predicting the end of the world --- tomorrow, he says, definitely tomorrow. Laurie's world has collapsed as she realises (as if she did not know already, but having it pushed in your face makes it impossible to ignore or deny) that she is not the most important thing in her lover's life. This has been made rather cruelly but abundantly clear by virtue of the fact that Doctor Manhattan has created two copies of himself, one to help in his lovemaking with Laurie while the third continues important research outside. Well, a girl can't help but feel less than a little special, can she?

She goes to see Danny, who says she can tag along with him on his visit to Hollis. On the way they are attacked by a knife-wielding gang. Just the usual night, and they leave battered and bleeding bodies behind them without hardly a thought. Well, they were both superheroes! Manhattan meanwhile has gone to do his first ever Q&A at one of the TV stations, and shocks everyone there by literally transporting himself into the studio. He can do stuff like that, you know. But when the line of questioning leads to dubious links to numerous deaths from cancer being linked to his friends and people who associated with him, and the news is broken that Laurie's mother also has cancer, this is too much for the godlike being and he brings the interview to a close. The reporters latch on to the possibility of a bit of dirt on the big blue giant though, and after he loses his temper he teleports them all into the parking lot, an action which is unfortunately caught on camera, live, coast to coast.

In his absence, Laurie is told she needs to be screened for cancer, which her mother now has, seemingly as a result of close proximity to the Earth's erstwhile protector, and Rorschach greets the newsvendor's jibe that the world didn't end after all yesterday, as he predicted, with a cool “Are you sure?” Shortly afterwards, the news breaks that Russian forces have invaded Afghanistan. With Doctor Manhattan, America's unstoppable ace in the hole, out of the picture, her enemies are ready to strike, and the world moves a step closer to doomsday. Nixon and his military advisers prepare for a pre-emptive strike, but even then, they forecast huge losses. The president decides to wait a week, no doubt hoping for the return of their saviour, who is at this moment staring up at the stars from an alien planet, and trying to figure out what he wants to, or should, do.

QUOTES
Newsvendor: “We oughta nuke Russia and let God sort it out! I mean, I see the signs, read the headlines, look things inna face, y'know? I'm a newsvendor, goddammit! I'm informed on the situation! We oughta nuke 'em till they glow! Of course, that's only my opinion. For what that's worth, y'know? Inna final analysis.”

Newsvendor: “How's the enna world coming along?”
Rorschach: “It'll happen today. I've seen signs. National Examiner reported a two-headed cat born in Queens. Today for certain. You'll keep tomorrow's newspaper for me?”

Laurie's mother: “I remember how, soon after he failed to prevent JFK's assassination, we argued. I said 'John, you know how every damned thing in this world fits together except people!”

Interviewer: “In his first ever live questions-and-answers session, let's have a big hand please for Doc Manhattan himself, Dr. Jonathan Osterman! John, I hope you'll forgive me for asking you this, but what's up Doc?”

Reporter 1: “Also we have reports of more than two dozen other past associates, similarly afflicted...”
Reporter 2: “Doctor Osterman! Tina Price, from the Washington Post! Is there any truth to these allegations?”
Interviewer: “C'mon, let's get out! The mob is getting aroused!”
Reporter 3: “Doc, I'm Jim Weiss from the Enquirer. Do you think you gave Ms. Slater cancer by sleeping with her?”
Doctor Manhattan: “No, please... If you'll just let me through...”
Interviewer: “Let him through! He's not here to answer questions on intimate moments!”
Reporter 1: “How does it feel to know that you may have doomed hundreds of people?”
Doctor Manhattan: “Please ... if everyone would just go away and leave me alone...”

Doctor Manhattan: “Safety regulations. I see. It seems I'm incapable of cohabiting safely either emotionally or physically. Perhaps you'd best tell Ms. Juspeczyk and your superiors that I'm leaving.”
Army guy: “Leaving?”
Doctor Manhattan: “Yes. For Arizona first I think, and then Mars.”
Army guy: “Mars? Oh ha ha ha ha ha! Doc, you had me going there! Ha ha ha! Y'know, you're a regular kind of ...” (Dr. Manhattan vanishes, leaving his clothes in a heap) “... guy ... Holy Christ!”

Newsvendor: “How about you? I see the world didn't end yesterday.”
Rorschach: “Are you sure?”

Interviewer: “Ms. Juspeczyk, I have to ask: did you place Dr. Osterman under any emotional stress last night?”
Laurie: “What! Are you blaming me for something? Who do you think you are? Listen, when Jon gets back you're in big trouble!”
Interviewer: “Jesus Christ, I have taken enough of this! Listen lady! If our psychologists are right, Jon is quite possibly never coming back! Your meal ticket has flown the coop! The linchpin (sic) of America's strategic superiority has apparently gone to Mars! But you're right: I'm in big trouble, and you're in big trouble, and we're all in big trouble!”

Between the lines

As the fallout shelter sign is attached to the wall of an office, we can see that it is called, or at least houses, Promethan Cab Co. Prometheus of course was the god who stole fire from the Heavens and brought it to Man. So too will fire soon threaten to rain down upon mankind. Later we see their catchphrase/strapline: “Bringing light to the world”. Quite what that has to do with cabs is anyone's guess...

The back cover of the issue of Tales of the Black Freighter (which, just for good measure and to add an extra spoonful of irony, we can see is being read by a black kid) shows an advertisement for “The Veidt Method”. Remember Adrian Veidt?

A newspaper on the newsstand asks the question “How sick is Dick?” and mentions that the president has now survived his third heart bypass operation.

Scattered on the ground are empty food containers which bear the name Gunga Diner, which we'll remember was firebombed in the first episode.

Over all of this, and occupying the first page, the newsvendor opines that the US should just nuke Russia.

From another angle, we can see that the building to which the sign was affixed also houses the Institute for Extraspatial Studies, where Doctor Manhattan works.

Laurie laments the fact that in New York, cabs can just disappear, as Doctor Manhattan vanishes from the Institute to reappear nanoseconds later at the TV studios for his interview.

As the guy from Army Intelligence warns him to be careful of the subjects he addresses in the interview, and “not to get into any tight corners”, we see the thugs corner Danny and Laurie as they walk down a dark alleyway.

We see an advertisement for The New Frontiersman (which is actually the magazine Rosrchach was collecting at the newsstand in the earlier pages) which says “In your heart of hearts, you know it's right”, and someone has spraypainted the word “wing”!

Those clever little touches

With so much of Tales of the Black Freighter in this chapter, there's a definite piratical and nautical theme, as we see Laurie stop outside a cinema which is showing Treasure Island and has a flyer for Mutiny on the Bounty. Perhaps even more ironic, as, if you take Manhattan as her “captain”, being her lover, then she has basically mutinied against him by running off.

As the TV receptionist moans “They ain't paying me enough to deal with monsters from outer space!” (shaken by Doctor Manhattan's literal appearance in the studio) Laurie and Dan pass a billboard for the cult classic This Island Earth.

Is it just coincidence that the interviewer at abc looks very like Clark Kent, this being about superheroes and all?

Tales of the Black Freighter

It's only now that the story told in the comic-within-a-comic starts to hove a little closer to the reality of what's going on here. I could write literally pages about the symbolism and the synchrnonicity between the two stories, but that would take too long. For now, let's be content to analyse what we have here, and link them to the story. In essence, it's the story of a man seemingly captured by pirates. The text opens thus, and I'll explain how each panel it adorns is selected for the maximum impact.

“Delirious, I saw that Hellbound ship's black sails against the yellow Indies sky, and knew again the stench of powder, and men's brains, and war.” This first sentence is paired with a closeup of a Nuclear symbol, whereon, with the zoom used here, the top part of the three-pronged symbol does look like a black sail (and has black connotations) against a yellow sky (yellow background) and certainly presages war, if a very short and brutal one.

“The heads nailed to its prow looked down, those with eyes; gull-eaten, salt-caked, liplessly mouthing “No use! All's lost!” The heads of the screws are being tightened as the sign is attached to the wall, proclaiming this to be a nuclear fallout shelter. Despair is heard in the screeching, rasping voices of the screws as they are tightened. If fallout shelter signs are being put up, all surely is lost as the world prepares for nuclear armageddon.

“The waves about me were scarlet, foaming, horribly warm, yet still the freighter's hideous crew called out “More blood! More blood!” We see the back of the jacket of the maintenance guy who is attaching the sign (much in Watchmen happens over a number of panels, the camera, as it were, moving back a step each panel until finally you can see the whole picture, and so it is here) has a big red strawberry on it, for some reason, and I guess that can be linked to the request for more blood. More importantly, however, on the wall to the right is a missing persons poster, a writer reported as missing, and this will have profound implications later, so take note of it.

“Its star-streaked hull rolled over me. In despair I sank beneath those foul, pink billows, offering up my wretched soul to Almighty God, his mercy and His judgement.” I'm not sure, but I think the “foul pink billows” are sexually cast, in that, maybe, sinking into a woman's legs, or her buttocks? Not sure. But then there's judgement mentioned, and look at the title of the episode. We also see, only now, that the kid is sitting on the sidewalk beside the newsstand, reading the comic. These are the kind of slow revelations that make Watchmen such a rewarding read, over and over, and never ever to be rushed through.

“Waking from nightmare I found myself upon a dismal beach-head, among dead men and the pieces of dead men. Bosun Ridley lay nearby. Birds were eating his thoughts and memories. Reader, take comfort from this: in Hell, at least the gulls are contented. For my part, I begged they would take my eyes, thus sparing me further horrors. Unheeded, I stood in the surf and wept, unable to bear my circumstances. Eventually, tears ceased. My misfortunes were small: I was alive. And I knew life has no worse news to offer me.” Immediately this is read, we see a sign THE END IS NIGH and Rorschach arrives, looking for his magazine. It couldn't be more perfect. We also, for the first time, see the actual pages of the mag, but it's scribbly and indistinct. Someone is definitely crying.

“I had a sudden memory of clinging fast to someone through the tempest. The figurehead lay at my feet, blindfolded by seaweed. Alone upon that dreadful shore, she smiled. I made to take the ribbons of kelp from off her painted eyes, then thought better of it, not wishing her to suffer the terrible distractions of that grim tideline. It was all I could do for her, though she had borne me through seas of blood, though her cold wooden breast had nourished me in the heart of the storm. Her damp embrace had prevented me from drifting beyond reach, yet this small comfort was all I could offer. I could not love her as she had loved me.” With this, we switch to the Institute, where Doctor Manhattan is tenderly waking Laurie, and the connection is clear.

“The freighter's murderous onslaugh had surprised us”. This is shown over the revelation that Nova Express, rag of the day which has just been interviewing Janey Slater, is carrying the news of her cancer which can now be linked to her relationship with Doctor Manhattan. “We'd been blasted to fragments before we could warn Davidstown of the hell-ship's approach. I alone survived upon my remote atoll.” If there is any man who is not only an island, but could survive that which nobody else could, it's our Doctor Manhattan. “I thought of my family, vulnerable, unsuspecting, never dreaming that damnation bore down upon them, sails pregnant with a pirate wind, a necklace of heads at its prow. Crazed with helplessness, I cursed God and wept, and wondered if He wept too.” as these words are read, the newsvendor is talking about his wife, and rain begins to fall on the pages of the magazine. “But then, what use His tears, if His help were denied me?” At this point the kid reading the comic book asks the vendor for his cap to protect his comic, but the newsman refuses. “My own sobbing had frightened the gulls. They departed. And in the terrible silence I understood the true breadth of the word “Isolation”. Here, the vendor says “In the end, a man stands alone. All alone. Inna final analysis” as we get a closeup of the rain falling on the metal fallout shelter sign.

“That night I slept badly, beneath cold, distant stars, ponderong upon the cold, distant god in whose hands the fate of Davidstown rested. Was He really there?” Significant because at this point Doctor Manhattan has gone to Mars, from the desert, and all we can see is stars. Also, surely he is the god of whom is spoken? Can there be a being as close? “Had He been there once, but now departed?” Has Earth lost its only chance of staving off nuclear armageddon with the departure (we're unsure at this point whether or not it's permanent, but would imagine so) of the giant superhero?

“The morning sun found me no more wise, no less troubled. Further down the shore, several of the beached corpses had become inflated by gas”. A reference perhaps to the headline of the right-wing The New Frontiersman which screams defence of Doctor Manhattan and blames the Russians? “I set about burying the sodden carcasses, matching odd limbs as best I could. With them, I buried all hope for my family's survival.”

“Using driftwood I began to dig a pit, deep and wide. I had never seen nor imagined so many dead people. Noon came and went, by dusk the crater was deep enough and I commenced hauling those cold, maimed, wretched things into the bed I had prepared. Dragging and cursing, I hoped that my wife and daughters might be tucked in by gentler hands when their time came. The freighter was almost upon them. Who would care for them, now I was gone?” Clearly a collorary with the possible thoughts of the departed Doctor Manhattan, who must indeed have looked upon (his fellow) humans as creatures in his care, things to be protected. As the black freighter of the coming armageddon bore down towards them, who would save them now?

“Exhausted, I slept on top of the grave, my dreams ringing with the horribly familiar screams of children, the black freighter bearing down upon all I loved, and I was powerless to stop it.”

Rather hilariously, the kid, who has been reading this magazine (which we now find he took off the newsstand and just began reading) complains that there's no way he's buying this when it has no ending! A) he probably had no intention of paying for it anyway (why would he? He's read it by now) and B) is he unfamiliar with the idea of a story that continues through several issues? Idiot.

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Trollheart

After the storm: Under the hood

In this episode, Hollis talks about the way things changed in the fifties. People began to take superheroes less seriously, and they even became the butt of humour. The marriage between Sally Jupiter and her manager gave rise to many ribald and off-colour jokes, and some of the Minutemen began to turn to other comforts, like Mothman, who took to the bottle. In the midst of all this, even here in Watchmen world, there was the McCarthy era, and each superhero was forced, for reasons of national security, to disclose, privately, his or her secret identity. Most were cleared as being “proper Americans” due to having served in the forces. Others, who had kept less than patriotic company in their youth, were not so lucky. Hollis also mentions the birth of little Laurie, an event which he says looks to have been the catalyst for the breakup of Sally's marriage.

The only hero to refuse to reveal his identity was the original one, Hooded Justice, and after he retired, presumably, events conspired to turn up a body in the river which Hollis reckons was HJ's true identity, an East German strong man who had gone missing about the same time as Hooded Justice disappeared from the scene. It appeared to be murder, or execution, and Hollis floats the idea that the strongman, if he were Hooded Justice, had been eliminated by his own people as a spy before he could be discovered. Whether there is any truth in this he does not know, and admits he's only putting two and two together and may be well short of the mark. He also notes that with the demise of the superhero, or masked adventurer, went the reduction in supervillains. As he points out, it's not so bad being a guy in a crazy costume as long as others join in, but if you're the only one dressed up you're gonna look pretty stupid. He says that the criminals just traded in their supervillain costume for a suit and a briefcase, and got into prostitution and drugs; worse and more merciless adversaries then than they ever had been before.

Another thing that sped the demise of his people was the approach of the sixties, the open criticism of American values, rock and roll, free love, mini skirts, the whole sixties thing. Men out of place, out of time, the Minutemen did not know how to deal with this new era. It's interesting, and obviously quite deliberate, that he twice uses the phrase “bearing down upon us”, as it is liberally used in the Tales of the Black Freighter. He then goes on to describe another thing that was bearing down upon them, the most wonderful and yet most frightening of all, and it was called Manhattan. There is no explanation --- at least, not here --- of how Doctor Manhattan came to be (the author probably assumes everyone reading knows; you may as well explain who Jesus was) but his narrative seems to point to the possibility of his having been created in a laboratory. He also mentions a young man called Ozymandias, who is said to be if not a protege of Manhattan, then a contemporary, and he uses the phrase that best sums up the general feeling at the time at the appearance of these truly superheroes: we've been replaced.

And indeed, having met both Ozymandias and Doctor Manhattan at a charity benefit, this was what impressed itself on the mind of the ageing hero: time to retire. No point patrolling the streets in a silly cape, maintaining the peak of physical fitness and a sharp mind, if your replacement could level mountains with a thought! And so he retired to mend cars, which had been his first love. Believing the day of the masked hero was over, he was surprised to be approached by Danny, who asked him if he could use the name Nite Owl, and a whole new breed of masked adventurers seemed to be about to be born.

The Story so Far

After it is revealed, or postulated anyway, that close association with Doctor Manhattan can be directly linked to cancer, and having been pushed too far, the blue giant abandons Earth (and Laurie), taking himself to Mars, where he sits and thinks. In the absence of their major enemy, Russia decide to take a step they would not have dared to had Manhattan been on the planet, and they invade Afghanistan. The US begins to make plans to retaliate, and the world moves a step closer to armageddon.

And the clock now stands at nine minutes before midnight.

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Trollheart

When I began this journal back in 201 , the initial idea was to concentrate on 2000 AD characters and strips, though I acknowledged I would occasionally step outside that universe, as I have done with Watchmen, and will continue to do. However I had no desire to tread on the toes of he who originally had the idea to have a comics journal, and still do not wish to upset Batty. I discussed this with him about a year ago, and had originally considered starting a new journal to tackle the idea, but now that I give it some more thought, it seems to make more sense just to expand this journal to encompass the new direction.

So, with that rather confusing and uninformative introduction, I give you

A new sub-journal, if you will, within my own, in which I will tackle some of the characters from the Marvel universe for the first time. However I will be concentrating on what are generally considered lesser strips, often unknown outside of their own fanbase, with two rather important exceptions, of which more shortly.

The Marvel universe is filled to bursting with interesting characters – both heroes and villains – and incredible storylines, much of which tends to get pushed to the background in favour of the bigger acts, those who have been our favourites for decades and whose adventures we avidly read as children, and more importantly, those who have made the transition to the big screen. Spiderman. The Hulk. Captain America. The Avengers. X-Men. Iron Man. All of these names are well known now, mostly thanks to the intervention of Hollywood, though Spiderman was pretty much always up there with the greats, rubbing shoulders with DC rivals Batman and Superman. All of these I love, but I will be steering clear of.

My sub-journal will focus on the little guys – not literally small, of course but those who have been passed over, in most cases, by the movie moguls and whose very existence few, other than their fans, are even aware of. I'm talking here about your Inhumans, your Bloodstones, your Silver Surfers. Red Sonja, Dazzler and even Dracula, who of course is a celebrity but whose adventures in the pages of Marvel Comics might come as a surprise to a lot of you. Deadpool is another one. Yes, he has his movie but he's still regarded as a fairly minor character, nowhere in the league of the big boys. Spider-Girl, Spider-Ham (I kid you not!), Ghost Rider ... if there is a minor or not that well known character I can write about, you'll more than likely find them here. There are, as I mentioned earlier, two rather important exceptions to this self-made rule of exclusion.

The Mighty Thor. I grew up reading Thor and his adventures fuelled my interest, first in Norse mythology and then in mythology in general. Beside Spidey he was my all time favourite, so although he's had two movies, I feel they didn't really portray the Thor I spent my childhood reading, where his stories tended to take place mostly in Asgard, not on Earth, and so I'll be including the god of thunder here.

Doctor Strange. As I say, I had this idea a year or more ago, and back then there was no whisper of a Doctor Strange movie, so I assumed nobody outside of his fanbase knew of this man. I had already decided to write about him, as he is a fascinating character, and I don't intend to change that decision. I have not seen the movie, but with a character as deep and complicated as Steven Strange, I feel they can hardly have got the essence of the man into a two-hour movie, so I'll be delving deep into his psychology, motivations and of course his many dark adventures.

I'll probably hop, skip and jump around, either taking the best stories from each or perhaps even intermixing an episode of one with an episode of another; I haven't really yet decided the format. This is just to let you few who read this journal know of the change, and if there's a minor character (Marvel universe only: I'm restricting myself to this) that you think I should be covering, let me know.

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The Batlord

Don't call them strips ffs. And stay the **** away from Spider-Gwen. I have plans.

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Trollheart

Noted. I'm keeping Spider-Ham though. Replace Spider-Tart with?

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The Batlord

Excalibur is like the best X-team no one knows about. Go do them.

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