CoNtrivedNiHilism

#6



Band: Pallbearer
Album: Foundations Of Burden
Release: August 19th, 2014 via Profound Lore
Length: 55:00
Tracklist:

1. Worlds Apart
2. Foundations
3. Watcher In The Dark
4. The Ghost I Used To Be
5. Ashes
6. Vanished

Where to begin? Well. I am new to this band. Doom Metal isn't usually something I actively seek out, however I was wanting something with more to it than what I usually listen to, something with my grit, a bit of a sludgy doom metal sound and Pallbearer fit that perfectly. It's a rather melodic album despite the kind of music it is. I'm more used to that more growl vocalized doom metal with a more brutal, slow approach.

I call this album a masterpiece. My reasons being the impression it left upon me. I don't exactly have the proper knowledge on doom metal to appropriately talk about the overall tone or theme of the album, but there's a deep sense of despair, death, hopelessness, forlorn all throughout the album. But it's just so damn well done! I am utterly blown away by this band. Not entirely sure of anyone here that loves this kind of music knows of the band and would agree with me here. But damn. This is good stuff ladies and gents.

The opener Worlds Apart is a nearly 10 minute and a half long epic of dark, doomy euphoria. It is a hard and heavy track with tons of texture. It brought early Katatonia to mind, which is one of my most beloved bands on the planet. Well executed, Worlds Apart.

What follows is another great track, Foundations, nothing short of epic in its own right. It is nearly 9 minutes in length, and every bit of it is splendid. One of the bands finest moments on the album.

Next up is Watcher In The Dark, the second longest track on the album and also one of the heaviest, and arguably the bands finest moment on the album, but also maybe the bleakest or darkest sounded track too. This track is just pure doom metal bliss. It'll engage you right from the start, and have you whipping that matted long hair around in slow-mo fashion. What a mammoth of a track.

Coming after Watcher In The Dark, is the masterful The Ghost I Used To Be. This song takes on a sort of ghostly tone in contrast to the other three before it. But it is plentiful of fuzzy, resonating rif***e. This track comes close to rivaling Watcher In The Dark. It's great.

Next up is Ashes. It's more toned down track serving as an interlude of sorts. It's atmospheric, but kind of beautiful too. Perfect track to lead in the a grand closing track.

Vanished. This track started off as my favorite on the album. But after going back and listening to the album a few times. Watcher In The Dark ultimately won that title. Not really sure how to go about describing Vanished. It's a track that sort of gave me an isolated feeling. Not in a bad way. I felt like I could be nestled at the peak of a snowy mountain, onlooking ravaged land below me from some massive snow storm. Well. Yeah, I'm just not sure how to describe the song. So I'll just say that it is a great way to round out a flawless album.

All in all. Foundations of Burden gets an extremely firm 10/10. And have a look at that album artwork, would you? Badass! Check out some of the tracks below.

CoNtrivedNiHilism

Lately. To open up this thread to write up another review for another album that I held in high acclaim this year, has proven a bit difficult. It is not a matter of not knowing which album I will write about next. Rather it has to do with all of the things bouncing around in my mind.

I'm not the only writer here. My situation is not unique. Everyone here experiences this. There's all these things you want to get out in the open, to express. But you're not sure where to start. My solution has always been to either grab a pin, and put it to paper and just let whatever thoughts I have, spill out. Or to open a Word document. Over thinking or over complicating what you want to say just hinders the creative process. I've succumbed to doing this plenty, no exclusion here.

So I'm sitting here listening to old Our Lady Peace records, Naveed and Clumsy mostly...tracks from Gravity that still held that old Our Lady Peace charm from their latter days. They have always been a guilty pleasure of mine. I could listen to Raine Maida sing any day. Unique voice and a good song writer. What I'm stalling to express here, is that I found the catalyst I need to come to this journal of mine, and actually post something, by means of Our Lady Peace.

The biggest thing we all have in common with each other on this forum, is our love, passion, appreciation, our pursuit of music to listen to that we connect with on a plethora of levels. We've all got or idols that we look up to, the songs that we confide in. The only thing I feel that is a more powerful force than music, is love. Those two things go hand in hand. I don't care if it is cliche. But music saved my life.

I grew up in Newport, Oregon for nearly 12 years of my life, and so I consider it to be my hometown. However. A lot of the memories I have of Newport aren't pleasant. Most of the good memories or experiences I have of it, they're all tarnished by my father. He was a lost man, an angry man, and a drunk. I'm not the only kid at that time, or at all to ever experience the traumatizing result of abuse. Myself, my siblings and my mother all had our share of it from my father. 12 years of living in fear of one of the two people meant to love me, protect me, nurture me, coming home to beat me, or any of my siblings or mother, just because he wasn't happy with himself or his life. I almost died when I was six because my father was too clueless to know that when someones skin was turning pale or blue, you shouldn't just sit on your ass, get that kid to the damn hospital. My mother had told him to watch me while she was at work. Well. He failed. She came home to me barely even alive, suffocating on the fluid in my lungs from pneumonia...

A constant throughout all of that living hell, was music. My father had a lot of music. No matter what kind it was. I'd put in on, and escape for a little while. I always think about what sort of person I'd be today if my mother hadn't left my father when she did. Would I even be alive right now? It's hard to say. But I have a feeling that my fate wouldn't have been nice, maybe drugs, maybe something else. But thank God for music. I think I started writing songs when I was around 8 or 9. I really don't remember what much of it was about, but I am certain I wrote about my father a lot, all the anger I had...or still have now. I had this idea in my head then, that I'd somehow find myself in a band with close friends, standing behind a microphone singing my heart out to unknown faces. I'm almost 28 now. If I haven't found myself in a band at this point. I'd like to think it has to do with being scared, or maybe I don't want so many people to know me on that personal of a level. That's all probably just an excuse not to do it. Some could question that I probably don't want it that bad if I haven't done it yet. I don't know.

Music means a lot to me, a whole hell of a lot. If music never existed. This world would be a far worse place than it is now.

Cheers to you all.



Oh. I meant to post a song I wrote when I was 13 about my father to accompany this journal entry. I couldn't find where I placed it. I kept it in an old shoe box, I wrote it on my birthday and titled it 'Burn Softly' for some unknown reason. I speculate that the title could be a metaphor to express how the pain and anger I have to this day over my father, it has sort of been this emotion that has lingered for my entire life for him, of if I should forgive him for my own sake so that maybe that anger and pain I have might finally rest. I was 13. So the title could be something that doesn't even make sense. Who knows? I'll post it here if I find it.

Ok! Found an old journal from middle school and high school. Has a lot of lyrics and poetry. At the risk of you all having a good laugh at my expense. I will share with you the angst that I had when I was younger. A lot of these are ten or more years old. Some look to be unfinished, too. Some are also a bit long or drawn out. There are also some newer entries from a few years ago, as much as three to four years ago.

| Act 1 |

I can't define this loveless love, I can't say what it means, and I still scream that it had to die
Held in these trembling hands are the promises left forsaken, the smiles and the laughter, the bitter tears that point the blame
I stand as a man that can't keep his voice from shaking from heartache, that can't shed the blame resting on his shoulders every day
Even the best of fairy tales have their sleeping demons, waiting to choke even the deepest love, up in flames tearing through the sky
And the future that I was holding on to with all my might, cut my hands and bloodied my face, as I hung my head in shame, face buried in my hands
I can't look back through all these pages written with fables of a perfect world
It just hurts too much, it just hurts too much

The record keeps playing on repeat, over and over again in this empty chamber of my heart
Its walls are covered by the cruel reality that I'm a monster that hurts everything I want to cherish
Faded days blur together, and time creeps by leaving me behind
I'm playing tug of war with the part of me that wants to pick myself up, brush off the dust, and start over again new
But I'm afraid that the other part of me that just wants to dig up six feet of earth, bury the ghost of who I once was and leave without a fight, is winning the war
I just want to save myself, but I just can't find the strength to try
I just want to forgive myself, but it just doesn't feel right
It doesn't feel right

| The Empty Blue |

You stare in to the empty blue
Wonder what's next?
Look through your telescope
To see what God's planning
If this all came down
Would we be ready?
If there was nowhere left to stand
Would we be able to swim?

We're not paranoid
But we're hiding in holes
We need space machines
So we stay secure
We can't handle the fear of the unknown
That's why we're always looking up
Still not sure what's coming
So we're pulling solutions out of hats

| Lament And Penance |

I want to take a minute of your time to explain a minute of mine
I want to take just one minute of your time to explain how I felt when you changed
If I pick my words carefully to illustrate for you the way I was breaking inside
If I pick my words carefully enough to make sure you understand that when you changed
I was taking every last part of me trying to find what part of me made you want to hurt me
I just want to take a minute of your time to explain a minute of mine
To let you know that I still blame myself for the way that you changed
For how you could never find your way back to who you once were
Someone so perfect and inspiring, and I was the one that destroyed you

I'm picking my words carefully so you'll know
You can hate me for the rest of your life and I wouldn't hate you for the rest of mine
That photograph from our past will still rest next to where I sleep at night
It's just my reminder that I'm the reason you never seem to smile anymore
It's needles in my eyes every time I see you in the state that I put you in
Sorry will never be enough, a thousand of my laments and penance will never heal your scars
If you can ever be who you were before I just don't know
I don't know

If somewhere in your breaking heart there's forgiveness for me
I hope one day it can be mine so I don't feel so hollow, so much like the life in me is growing dim like a dying flame
All these pages that once spoke of all the good things have become faded like a jaded sun
I want to tell you that it got to the point that I felt that by being around for you, was only making you suffer more
I had to place this distance between us for your own sake
Only for your own sake

Can't you see how my decisions have brought me to my knees?
I wanted a minute of your time to explain a minute in my life that's lasted for so very long
Once upon a time you would have listened to what I had to say
Once upon a time you weren't so far away
I guess your will wasn't strong enough to pull yourself back from wherever you've gone
I guess that I was too late after all...

| Iodine |

Dark passion
A lonely hell
This pressure swells
It's far too much
So the sky falls down
It falls down

It isn't like I never knew
I'd meet you again, somewhere and somehow
Aren't you surprised?
You never thought I'd come back this strong
I'm ready to put you in the place that you created for me
A place that was never meant for me

Dark passion
A lonely hell
This pressure swells
It's far too much
So the sky falls down
It falls down

So open up and swallow me
It's not like you've never done it before
Through this maze
Wrapped in these sheets
A most familiar place to plant your seeds of doubt
Deep in me

Dark passion
A lonely hell
This pressure swells
It's far too much
So the sky falls down
It falls down

I never wanted this GIFT!
I never wanted your SCAR!
I never wanted to...!
I never wanted to...!
I never wanted you!
This sickness swells within and I'm helpless!
I'm helpless to the things YOU'RE PUTTING ME THROUGH!!

...And I can't tear through the womb
I can't find a way to escape this hell
Before, I said I was stronger now, I was going to put you in that place meant for me
But I wasn't prepared for what you had in store for me

You opened up your mouth
You drew me in with empty promises laced in your deceit
And In that moment, I couldn't breathe
I couldn't breathe

Dark passion
A lonely hell
This pressure swells
It's far too much
So the sky falls down
It falls down

This iodine love, was a chemical death
My nerves fired in my brain, until they found rest
Then the black opened up to take me in...

------------------------------------------------------------------

This next one, called Sweet Little Jane. Was a song I wrote five years ago about a little girl I met while working at a Fred Meyer store. I was a checker, and she came through with her mother, little girl had a shaved head and looked like she'd been through a lot. She was brave. She told me that she had cancer, and that she wouldn't be here very much longer. It really broke my heart. She was only six.

| Sweet Little Jane |

Hello to the stars above
It's me again, an old man and his breaking heart
Do you hear me way up there?
I bring to you a wish, a request I hope may reach you

There's a little girl called Jane
She lives down on 3rd avenue
Frail and so small, sick and she'll be knockin' on heavens door soon
She's sweet, so optimistic for what it's worth
When she cries, she does it all alone because she doesn't want her parents to know
She's just so afraid, but she won't ever let it show

In case you didn't hear, in case you weren't listening
I bring to you tonight, a wish, a request I hope may reach you
Deliver her from her pain, she'll be someone great someday
I'd like to see her fly, I'd like to see her soar through the sky
I am sure, her family would too
Just like I do

So won't you let her see the days beyond the dimming lights?
Won't you let her stay home tonight, wake up in the morning and live a life she was meant to?
If it can't be so, if she should go
I hope she becomes a star shining brightly, somewhere in this starry sky
At least then, she'd be alright
Sweet little Jane...
Sweet little Jane...

======================================

This next one is maybe three or so years old. Wrote it one summer day when I was thinking about childhood.

| A Swing And An Old Oak Tree |

I remember coming here in my younger days
I'd play for hours, from sun up till sundown
There was little Tommy and spunky Zoe, we'd play out our imagination till nothing was left
Those days were bliss, those days were definitely best
I can't go back now, but the memories won't ever fade away

There was a swing and an old oak tree there where we'd play
I recall how the sun used to look when it pierced through the branches and leafs
Laying on our backs, it looked like a kaleidoscope turning it's colors to seasons as they came and went

We loved it there, here beneath this old oak tree and swing
It was everything in life that we looked forward to
Those times have changed, and changed as they have
Coming here will always stir up those fond memories
Memories of when life was simple and we thought we had it all

Isn't that what life should be?
Made up of all the good times there have been and will be
What I know for myself, deep inside
Through everything, the good times and the bad
That little kid in me will never die

Isbjørn

Listening to that first song right now, and I'm digging it pretty hard. The vocals are neat.

__________________

CoNtrivedNiHilism

The vocals are probably one of the best things about the band. Compliments the gloomy vibe of the music pretty well.

CoNtrivedNiHilism

Am I alone in my thinking that dreams aren't just simply our wondering mind while we sleep, that dreams are other very real, other realities are parallel worlds that we can only visit or see when we're sleeping? I've had this thought enter my mind since I was pretty little, maybe since six or seven years of age. I've had a recurring dream about the apocalypse where I intervene with Lucifer and God's little battle they wage on Earth, where I plainly say that neither of them have a right to decide when humanity ends, just one big ultimatum to them both and somehow I banish them and then there's peace on Earth. It is probably the must unnerving dream I've ever had over and over, more because I just don't know what it means, if it's real or has happened and I'm just in some other dimension where it has not come to pass yet.

How can dreams simply be, dreams? How can that be all there is to them? They can be so vivid and real, that your mind is literally tricked in to thinking it's reality. It's almost as if there is a fail safe button or some sort of ejection when you realize you're dreaming and begin to have things play out how you imagine them, that your mind boots up and wakes you to prevent you from doing anything more.

Are there things we are capable of doing in dreams that we're not meant to discover? We only use a very small fraction of our brain, that well over half of it is just idle. There has to be something we're not meant to find out we can do. We would only be able to use so little of our brain if there wasn't, we'd just freely use all of it if it was just ordinary.

What do you think?

Frownland

We actually use quite a bit of our brain space: Ten percent of brain myth - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

As far as other realities in dreams, can't say that I agree. I think there's a psychological mean behind dreams. If it were another reality why would dreams have people from your everyday life in them?

__________________

Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

CoNtrivedNiHilism

It's been ages and I have only just now come to reply to this haha.

That article is from wikipedia, and I tend to not believe a lot of what is there because anyone can edit pretty much anything. Funny thing about science is that just because scientists say something can't happen, and then show exhibit A or B to prove it, doesn't mean that it can't actually happen. I don't think any scientist has ever even considered that at present, C or D can't happen, but given time that can change. Science only holds up as long as things stay as they are. Considering advances it medical science and technology in general. What science says is an impossibility and will never happen, can become something that is very much possible, and actually happen.

That's why I never concede that what I learned in science class as a kid, or even now as an adult when I do random web searches for random scientific information, is indisputable fact.

Now I need to think up an actual new journal entry. I need to figure out how to get more people commenting on my journal.

Frownland

Wikipedia gets a bad rap, there are people editing it constantly to maintain some credibility. Here's a more scholarly article if you insist: Do You Really Only Use 10 Percent of Your Brain?

I think your stance on science is kind of silly tbh, because it suggests that there is there that scientists just haven't given the time to consider it, which isn't necessarily true. It's kind of like the anti GMO argument that claims 'but we don't know if they cause cancer or not'', which implies that they DO cause cancer, even though there is no evidence to support that and all the research shows that they do not. Scientific fact remains indisputable until something comes along to dispute it, that's how science works. Once that new evidence comes out scientists jump at the opportunity to study it.

The science says that your brain stays in the same place and that what we see in dreams is a hallucinatory product of a chemical released by our rains during the rapid eye movement period of sleep. So that's what I'm going to base my opinion on until we find evidence of us seeing into other dimensions. It's fine to ask these what if questions, but don't knock the science.

__________________

Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

CoNtrivedNiHilism

The bold text is more or less what I meant, I just said it harshly. You're right. It is presumptuous of me to assume that they don't consider they're wrong about something, or that something they discover and prove can't one day change. Because they likely do consider those things all of the time before settling on what they've come to know is fact.

Science does fascinate me. I love everything about it. If I went to college, I'd probably get degrees and masters and such in types of science, just so I could study things of my own findings.

About dreaming and such...you know, I choose to believe that there's more to dreams than just a chemical release in our brains. I could be completely wrong. But I like to think that we're capable of amazing things that right now, science says we're incapable of.

I like talking to you about this stuff. We should do it more.

Josef K

This seems to be sort of a contradiction - on the one hand, you're talking about how much you love science, but it's clear that you only love science so long as you still are choosing to believe things that all the scientific evidence says you shouldn't. Lots of people believe lots of crazier things and there's nothing wrong with believing what you do, although I'm with Frownland in my disagreement with you on this specific issue. What you shouldn't do is act like you're somehow totally on board with the scientific method and with studies that have been done despite having these beliefs.