The Batlord

This is Arrow star, Stephen Amell, training LIKE A ****ING BOSS! Let's see Christian Bale do any of this **** without putting himself in traction.




And yes, he does use a stunt double on the show, but he still does a lot of his own stunt work.


Now let's see what all that training was good for (Spoiler Warning! obviously)...




Oh, and just as a bonus, since this isn't so much about the actual Arrow, here's a scene involving Captain Boomerang being a total badass from the Arrow half of this week's Flash/Arrow, two-night crossover. If you're a fan of the shared universe aspect of superhero comics, this is pretty much sex.






Also, just cause I think it's funny, here's Stephen Amell's Facebook profile pic.



P.S. Sorry to anyone whose computer was slowified by all the videos, but I didn't want to mess up the look of this entry by putting everything in spoilers.

__________________

The Batlord

Of all the comic book movie/TV franchises, I think Arrow might actually be doing the best in developing its own shared universe. For those who don't know, it's now spawned a spin-off, The Flash, that's also pretty fantastic, and may be expanding even further if some rumors are true. But I'll get to that, and my reasoning as to its superiority, in a minute.

After being so succesful with its animated universe for so long, DC has been floundering with many of its movie projects. They're finally trying to get their **** together to play catch up to Marvel, but their decision to cram so many heroes into Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice is dubious at best. Having Batman play an older, more seasoned hero opposite a younger Superman is an interesting concept, but I'm not sure about introducing a new Batman outside of a movie of his own. Then of course, in the same movie, we're also getting Wonder Woman, Cyborg, and Aquaman (and yes, those last two are confirmed), without first giving them their own solo films. I'm thrilled with the idea of an expanded DC cinematic universe, but it's gonna take some great planning to not turn this into a cluster ****. Still, I'm cautiously optimistic. And the Suicide Squad movie coming in 2016 has me downright stoked (and yes, this is movie is also confirmed, with a release date of August 5, 2016).

For those interested, here's DC's projected movie schedule...



Now, Marvel has clearly been doing a better job of creating a shared universe. Cameos and foreshadowing about the formation of the Avengers built up a lot of excitement, all while keeping interference with the respective characters' movies to a minimum. Still, not every movie was that great: the Iron Man sequels have been getting progressively worse; Captain America would have been much better without a boring middle that dragged on for far too long; ditto Thor, and it's middle was downright painful at times, but at least the second movie was much better; I've heard the second season of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is better than the first, but I just lost interest after a few episodes; I've never heard a good about the Hulk movies, besides Edward Norton; and even the good movies have become formulaic.

Not to say that I don't love Marvel's cinematic universe, though: the first Iron Man was fantastic, the parts of Captain America and Thor that weren't boring were amazing, Guardians of the Galaxy was excellent, The Avengers was awesome if a bit overrated, and, for the most part, even a crappy superhero movie is still pretty good.

But still, it's been a bit of a mixed bag with Marvel.

Now, back to Arrow. It has the definite benefit of being a television show as opposed to a series of movies, so it's able to develop its plots and subplots more organically. This is also true of Arrow's expanded universe. Barry Allen wasn't introduced until season 2, and was only hinted at until The Flash debuted this fall. And since these are separate shows that aren't already predicated on building a shared universe, there isn't a feeling that they have to cross over, leaving each to stand on its own merits. This week's crossover event between the two felt natural, and I'm only looking forward to seeing where this will lead.

Yeah, these are only two shows, which only just makes it a shared universe, but there's also rumor that the upcoming Supergirl series being made by CBS might be set in the same universe. It's not particularly usual for different networks to share characters like that (Arrow and The Flash are on the CW), but all three shows are being produced by Greg Berlanti, and he appears to want this to happen. It's also not such an unlikely scenario since the CW is "co-owned" by CBS. We'll see, and we'll see how well it may be handled, but I'm hopeful.

Also, the Suicide Squad has already appeared on Arrow, and certain developments in the show seem to be hinting that a new team is being put together. The episode the Squad appeared in last season was pretty fantastic, so it's obvious that they will be appearing again, if not in the second half of this season, then certainly in the next. Amanda Waller and A.R.G.U.S. have also been putting in fairly regular appearances since last season. Now, this is just me being hopeful, but with the success of Arrow and The Flash, the CW may very well be open to continue capitalizing on the concept of a shared universe. So, I don't see it as at all out of the question that a Suicide Squad TV show might be possible. Harley Quinn actually had a few-second cameo in the aforementioned episode, and with the massive fan response to just that, the network surely must have noticed. This is all idle speculation on my part, but even if the Suicide Squad stays only on Arrow, that's still pretty big as far as I'm concerned. If my suspicions on the new team line-up are correct, a Squad made up of Deadshot, Captain Boomerang, Deathstroke, Bronze Tiger, and a Harley Quinn-replacement called Cupid (she's less lame than that implies) could be absolutely amazing.



And that's not to mention the inclusion of Black Canary, Huntress, Katana, and (soon!) R'as Al Ghul. It's still early in the game, but if all goes well, Arrow might just turn into a television empire to rival even the MCU (relatively speaking of course).

Take that, Breaking Bad!

__________________

Trollheart

Jesus, you really are a nerd, aren't you? Says he, feverishly typing the last chapter of "Robot wars" in his Judge Dredd journal....

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

You know it. But you wouldn't be so smug if you watched Arrow and realized its awesomeness. It turns Green Arrow into kind of a Batman clone, but since I never really cared all that much about him to begin with, and since the show is actually doing a better job of setting up the Arrow's origin story than Batman Begins did, it's all good. It's not like Green Arrow wasn't a Batman clone from day one anyway.

And as you (hopefully) saw from the training clips, Stephen Amell makes for a far more badass Oliver Queen than Christian Bale ever did as Bruce Wayne.

__________________

The Batlord

__________________

The Batlord

Merry ****ing Christmas, you stupid ****s! I give you the gift of comic books... although I am only actually giving them to myself, while you will have to make do with reading walls of text, but it's still better than socks. Unless of course, you're a girl, and you get a jizz sock from a basketball player with enough genetic material to get yourself pregnant, then WHAM-O! Set up for life. Money grubbing bitch.

Anyways, as you can see, Harley Quinn has a special Christmas issue out this month. Because of course she does. The second I heard about it I didn't even question it. It just makes sense. Contained inside are three stories, all drawn by three different artists, with the first being the longest, and as you might expect from a Harley Quinn Christmas comic, all of them are completely bat**** crazy.

Oh, and just to get this out of the way, in this series, Harley has inherited an apartment building, and is living with a group of circus freaks, sans Joker. This series doesn't really seem to have anything to do with past or current Batman/DC continuity, so that's all you really need to know.

First up, we have "Bad Toy". This little yarn reminds me of an episode of The Simpsons, where what is going on in the beginning, has absolutely **** all to do with what happens at the end. Now, just try to follow along with me as I attempt to be as confusing as possible for my own personal amusement:

Christmas Eve > Harley Quinn has a bunch o' dogs and cats > wants puppies and kittens > neuters and spays sparingly > has puppies and kittens > too many damn puppies and kittens > gives them away to nice people Christmas shopping > gives dynamite to *******s > people don't know they've been given puppies/dynamite > she put them in their shopping bags when they weren't looking > puppies and kittens gone > Harley sad > tries to find the puppy she liked best > assaults police station > gets address of people she gave puppy to > leaves police station > steals Hummer > it's okay > douche was double-parked > gets directions from old lady > old lady drives Hummer to address > not explained why old lady drove Hummer instead of just giving directions > something about Vegas > also not explained why meter maid tied to hood of Hummer > presume hijinks > Harley breaks into house > steals back dog > doesn't leave house > gets drunk on eggnog > passes out on floor >>>

Christmas morning > Family has a kid > she's a mega-bitch > finds Harley asleep on floor > decides she's her present > dad and aunt (it's complicated) confused > wouldn't you be? > clown lady asleep on floor? > more perplexing than terrifying > unless afraid of clowns > I'm afraid of clowns > would **** myself > while masturbating > Harley has a nice ass > anyway... > dad a pussy > girl entitled > dad doesn't want to upset child > hires Harley to be bad toy (like name of story) to annoy mega-bitch girl > backfires > they get along famously > step on presents > make plans for arson > eat candy canes instead > eat too many candy canes > vomit > aunt made turducken > more vomit > take bath to clean up vomit > Harley farts in bath >>>

Harley discovers what happened to mother > hit by truck on Christmas > emotional heaviness > daughter mad at dad for making mom go out that day > dad feels too guilty to discipline her > aunt (mom's sister) moved in when mom died > presume dad and aunt are ****ing though no actual evidence to support theory > Harley puts on glasses > is a psychiatrist > major feels > hug > Harley and girl devise harebrained scheme to bring family back together > Harley attacks girl with ax > ax hungry for blood > dad hits Harley with platter > picks up ax > leans ax on shoulder like a boss > kicks Harley out of house > pays her for job well done > was a good bad toy > family brought together by violent altercation with unbalanced clown girl > Harley says goodbye to girl > gives her dog > threatens with ax if girl doesn't take care of dog > for reals this time > probably > goes home > Christmas party > The End.

If all of that doesn't seem to make any sense, it's because it doesn't. But the day this series starts making sense is the day I find a new comic. There were some good laughs, the art felt fun and festive, and if the revelation about the girl's mother was a bit too abrupt to have the proper emotional impact, well... this is a series with a lot of heart, but not so much emotional depth, if you know what I mean, so it is what it is. Loved it.

The second feature "Get Yer Cheer Outta My Ear", is just a tad too random for its own good---either that, or it's not quite random enough for Dr. Seuss. There's something called a humbug, which is like a Christmas earwig, and it crawls in Harley's ear and starts humming Christmas carols. She spends the next ten pages completely wigging out trying to figure out where the humming is coming from, accosting old ladies with dogs, cops, and finally a department store Santa (The revelation that she probably still believes in Santa is a pretty awesome new bit of Harely lore.) The story also kind of implies that the department store Santa actually is the real Santa, and as such, he knows just what to do about the humbug: stick a candy cane in Harley's ear. And then they all, Harley and Santa and the bug, eat Christmas dinner at a kosher deli. This story is certainly charming, and the art is charmingly zany as well, but it's definitely the weakest story here. Although this panel of Harley using a dog's ass to listen for ghostly humming makes it worthwhile...




And then there's this. Harley Quinn is quite possibly the dirtiest mainstream comic out right now, even though it never seems to explicitly reference sex...




Finally, there's "K!llin' T!me". This entry is definitely stronger than the last one, with a more engaging narrative, that, while being as nonsensical and meandering a romp from Point A to Point B as any of Harley's stories are, actually does tell a story. A stupid story. But a story.

It's somewhere in the vicinity of Christmas and Harley discovers that she has a grey hair. Being a woman, she panics. Through Harley Logic, she decides that the only way to stop herself from getting old is to stop Father Time from giving his watch to the New Year's Baby. Nonsense of course, but I hate babies and old people, so I'm totally down with this.

She attempts to accomplish her completely reasonable goal by infiltrating an old folk's home and adorably harassing a bedridden old man (whose last name is "Tyme") and his bewildered family. Eventually of course, her exasperated victims manage to convince the daffy dingbat that the old man is not Father Time, his great granddaughter is not the New Year's Baby, and there's nothing she can do to stop the flow of time. Of course, all that's necessary to pick up her spirits is for the great granddaughter to pluck out Harley's gray hair, and so she heads out into the night, assured that all is right with the world, while behind her, helicopters careen out of control, firemen fall from their ladders, and men catch on fire, for no apparent reason. How can you not love Harley?

As fun as this story is, my favorite part is definitely the artwork, done by Darwyn Cooke, the same artist responsible for Catwoman: Selina's Big Score, which was visually one of my favorite discoveries of the past few months. He's got a kind of retro style, with stylized, almost cartoony artwork set off with big, bold colors. He actually makes Harley look the closest to her appearance from B:TAS since... B:TAS. And his expressions are just to die for...




So there you have it. A pretty fantabulous issue, full of Christmas cheer and only one fatality (he hated animals, so it was cool). If there's any better way to spend the holidays than reading this comic while avoiding your relatives, then I haven't found it. Although I'm assuming Christmas head would give Harley a run for her money. In any case, I guess there's nothing else to do but say...

__________________

Trollheart

I won't ask you to explain the panel, but please resize your pics dude! For someone as picky as you I'm surprised you didn't notice the dreaded "Too Large Picture Syndrome" is all over your latest entry. I'm sure you'll find some way to turn that into a sexual innuendo, but while you're doing that, shrink those images for the love of Batman!

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

Yeah, my computer displays them fine. Don't come crying to me just because you're probably using some 90's piece of **** monitor with a square screen. You should probably also at least upgrade to Windows '98. Just sayin'.

Edit: There. I ensmallened the last one. Not making it any smaller, lest it become too scrunched. And if you want me to resize any of the other ones then you can just blow me.

__________________

Key

The pictures are perfectly fine on my screen as well.

The Batlord

Get outta my thread, *******!

__________________