The Batlord

Note: I'm posting this in The Bitch Box and my comic book journal, because A.) I want to bitch, and B.) I feel that this is an important step in my descent into comic book nerdery. If any mod has a problem with that, then please delete the Bitch Box post and not my journal one.

Now, I just went up to the comic book shop to pick up the new Harley Quinn annual---it was a special scratch 'n' sniff issue, so digital didn't suffice. Annuals are more expensive than normal issues, because they're special and bigger, and this issue was priced around $6.00, so this was already bull****. Unfortunately the shop was out of the issue with the normal cover, but they did have versions with the variant cover... for $14.99... and $15.88 with ****ing tax! I stared long and hard at that comic, before of course caving in and getting it anyway---Hey, if I'm going to go out of my way to actually buy a special issue, then I might as well go all out, right? Still, it was a serious hit.

To make matters worse, I'd only had twenty bucks and still wanted a pack of cigarettes. So of course I went up to the gas station, and like a ****ing broke-ass, asked the cashier, "You got any non-menthols for less than $4.20?", to which she naturally shook her head in vaguely indifferent pity. So, being a true fiend, I went all the ****ing way back to my house to get some pocket change---which I'd meant to take in the first place, but forgotten like a retard---and came back to buy a pack that only cost twenty cents more than I'd originally had (natch). On the upside though, I now have the most expensive comic book this side of Action Comics #1, and a well-earned pack of smokes. So... I guess it's all good.

Now, I can't hold this against Harley, as any character awesome enough to make me drop sixteen bucks on one issue is worthy only my adoration, but DC can kiss my ass. I'll let Jay and Silent Bob express my feelings toward DC Comics...





It is a pretty awesome variant cover though.

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Trollheart

You ****ing serious man? That's for nothing! Graphic novels out here cost somewhere like maybe 20/40 Euro and comics/mags about 12 minimum! You don't know when you have it good!
Note: this is without ANY VAT, as, having worked in that sector, I know that books, periodicals and magazines are all zero rated for VAT into Ireland. Hungry bastards! Think yourself lucky you live in that bastion of freedom we call America. You'd NEVER get your DC fix if you lived here!

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

I'm assuming that's because your comics are exports, but around here three or four bucks is normal. It's why the internet is God for comic book fans. And graphic novels/trade paper backs are about twenty to forty bucks too.

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The Batlord

You know what the difference is between Kieron Gillen, writer of Über, and you? Simple. You suck ass, and he doesn't. He pretty much answers that question that comic book losers have been asking since the dawn of 1939: "What would happen if superheros fought in a war?". Except he does it in a far more interesting and badass way than you ever did. I mean look at that **** right above this paragraph. LOOK AT IT! You know you want it.

Basically, it's what should be the last days of World War II: the Soviets are laying siege to Berlin, they've met the up with the Americans in Germany, and it won't be long now till we give those dirty Japs what for with the atomic bomb. And then, all of a sudden, there are crazy German mother****ers running around, tearing people limb from limb, and doing this...




These "enhanced humans" completely change the tide of battle, repulsing the Soviets, and reigniting the German offensive on all fronts.

All of this is made possible using technology developed via mysterious, possibly alien, texts that have unlocked the ability to give normal humans... that. The series is very vague about the nature of these texts, but it's clear that only a fraction of their full potential has yet been unlocked. Aside from super-strength, the other main power of the series is the "disruption halo", which for the most part manifests in the ability to create energy blasts, but there are glimpses that it can accomplish much more: characters have used it to change hair color, turn water solid into a bridge, turn dirt into some kind of food, and even regrow limbs.

At the beginning of the series, there are two kinds of enhanced humans: "panzermensch" and "battleships"; panzermensch posses super-strength and the halo distortion, along with invulnerability to all but a direct hit from a tank; battleships have the same abilities, but to a far greater degree. Think Spider-Man with Cyclops' optic blast vs. Superman with Captain Atom's energy blasts. With hundreds of panzermensch, the Germans push back the allies, but with only three battleships, they are able to rout them on three separate fronts.

Possibly the best part about this series though, is how immersed in real history it is. It's clear that the writer eats, breathes, and sleeps WWII history. Several recurring, and often major, characters are Winston Churchill, Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, Heinz Guderian, Albert Speer, and god knows who else. The author is also certainly not afraid to use them as more than just historical props, as they often share equal time and importance with original characters. This right here has to be one of Hitler's best appearance's in fiction...



Oh yeah, did I mention how ridiculously NSFW this series is? It puts the "Holy ****, that dude just exploded and there's his kidney!" in "violence". I mean, it's a war series, and there are battles, so people are going to get ****ed up all to hell, but it's perhaps debatable whether Über is gratuitous at times. I mean...



To be fair, the first two are wrap-around covers, and so not necessarily representative of an actual panel, but still. But if you're lucky enough to be a soulless semi-human such as I, you won't really give a ****, cause the bitchin'ness is just far too off the charts, and the writing is far too intelligent to be denied.

God damn it. This series is going to be sixty issues long, but it's only at nineteen so far (not including an annual), which means it's gonna be years until it's done. I just can't wait that long. Read this comic. Do it.

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The Batlord

Never had any particular desire to read Daredevil before. I figured I'd get around to Frank Miller's run at some point in the future, but even that was a pretty vague desire. But I've been reading a bit of DD's late eighties stuff---I was curious about his romance with Typhoid Mary (cause I'm a ****ing cheeseball)---and I've been impressed with the basic concept of his character. I may do a more in-depth review of this story arc when I finish it, but it's nine issues long and there's no telling if I'll get around to it, so I'm just doing this little feature in case I get lazy. Anyway...

These couple of pages in issue #255 really sold me on the series...




Two things:

I love how domestic this scene is. Matt Murdock's (current) girlfriend, Karen Page, has clearly slept over at his apartment (or vice versa, but I'm guessing it's his place), and is just brushing her teeth, wearing what appears to be Matt's shirt and pants, with her hair in a lazy ponytail. Afterward, she makes a pot of coffee, and he shows a little bit of man ass in the shower. Serious relationships almost never happen in comic books, and are explored even less, but right here we have a normal, slice of life morning routine that makes you feel like these are real people, living in a real world, with real lives. Mega-cool.

His girlfriend's a fox BTW.

Secondly, I love that, rather than these two pages being about superhero stuff, or even something like Peter Parker complaining about JJJ giving him grief over not having any good pics of Spider-Man masturbating on top of the Empire State Building, Matt's concerned with civilian problems that aren't just real life issues, but that reflect his commitment to the principles that drive him to put on the spandex. Even during daylight hours, Matt Murdock never stops his crusade for justice, and along the way we get treated to something that's far more adult than the vast majority of comic books I've ever read.

His girlfriend's a fox BTW.

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Unknown Soldier

US Comics here are ****in expensive, even when they go on offer they're still not a bargain.

Talking of Daredevil have you read the Frank Miller issues?

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Metal Wars

Power Metal

Pounding Decibels- A Hard and Heavy History

The Batlord

I wasn't really interested before, as I just didn't see Daredevil's appeal, so no, but I'm definitely gonna have to now. I'm now also rather interested in Deadpool's (assuredly dysfunctional) relationship with Typhoid Mary in his third volume. Of course, just about everything I hear about Deadpool makes me wanna read his comics.

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The Batlord

I think I'm gonna start taking requests on here. Anybody with a rec can just post it here and I'll try to get around to reviewing it. Since it takes a lot more to read a comic arc than an album, I'm gonna have to ask for specific arcs and/or creative teams if you're suggesting a non-limited series. Anything goes, but you know, no manga. Maybe eventually I might do something on Japanese stuff, as I'd love to get back into Berserk, but I'm still on Western stuff ATM.

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Trollheart

How about this?

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

I've already read a fair bit of Sandman, so I don't need to be introduced. Any particular arc(s) you'd suggest?

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