The Batlord

Haven't read any Flash. As a hero the guy who runs really fast doesn't appeal to me all that much, but he does intrigue me as an annoying loudmouth.

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The Batlord

Holy ****! That was awesome! There's just something about the Punisher. He's pretty much what an actual superhero would be in the real world, even though he's not really "super", and not much of a hero. If anybody was gonna strap up and dedicate their life to fighting crime, they'd probably have to be a borderline-psychotic, ex-military gun nut whose family had been murdered right in front of him. He's pretty much Batman, but stripped of all the rationalizations that make him kid friendly.

And yet pretty much nobody can name a single one of his enemies, allies, or famous storylines. I imagine the fact that he's generally kept PG-13 leaves him in also-ran status. But there's a reason I checked this series out: I saw it on a list of the best comic book series ever made. Apparently when you let the character loose in all of his rated R glory, magic happens.

It says something about this series that, even though Frank Castle pretty much has no personality to speak of, no character arc (so far), and shows barely a hint of human emotion, that he is still such an imposing figure in this story. In fact, he's ****ing terrifying. For the most part you don't even see his face, and I'm not sure if they ever show his eyes. Almost every time you see him he's shrouded in shadow with a face so lined that you're not sure if they're wrinkles, scars, or just the outward manifestation of his own scarred soul. The first time you ever actually see his eyes---kinda sorta---is in a pitch black room while he's telling a "friend" that he plans to kill him. I say "kinda sorta" because the lack of light in the room leaves his eyes as pitch black orbs of nothingness, with twin points of light in each one that give a horrifying approximation of pupils. So, for pretty much the entire series (or at least the series that I've read), Frank Castle looks like a demon from hell. No humanity, no soul, just robotic malevolence.

Perhaps even more impressive is that I really can't empathize with this character at all. For instance, issue #1 starts with the murder of his family, and I actually felt something---in what in a good person might be called a "soul"---when I saw the look of fear on his daughter's face, underneath the caption...

"I hit the ground beside my daughter. She'd been gutshot, badly, and when she saw the things that boiled and wriggled from her belly the expression on her face was not a little girl's."

Sad ****, right? And yet the sociopath that we see afterward bears no resemblance to anything that had ever been a father, so any empathy just doesn't transfer. All that's left of Frank Castle is a killing machine without remorse.

I think the perfect summation of his character is in issue #4, when he is telling a story to a "friend". After the murder of Frank Castle's family, but before he became the Punisher, a neighbor comes to his house, and they have a talk. At one point the neighbor mentions that he's left his wife for a coworker. Castle responds, "I lost my wife. And you threw yours away like she was nothing", and then proceeds to assault the man. His explanation: "In his heart, he knew it was wrong. But it was what he wanted. So he went ahead and did it, and hoped everything would work out all right. That's why he deserved to be punished." That kind of binary, black/white logic shows the reasoning of a psychopath without emotions like mercy or empathy to influence his outlook on life. It's the reasoning of a child. He may be a "superhero", but at this point he seems more of a serial killer who just so happens to target criminals.

Oh, and the action is pretty badass too...



Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go read issue #7.

P.S. If you're going to read this series, might I suggest listening to Bolt Thrower while you do. I'm not one to listen to music while reading, but it just felt appropriate.

Aw yeah.

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Unknown Soldier

The Punisher must be one of the most caned to death characters in Marvel, I remember when he first appeared in Amazing Spider Man and since then his character hardly ever changed.

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Metal Wars

Power Metal

Pounding Decibels- A Hard and Heavy History

The Batlord

Regardless. In this series, he's ****ing money.

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The Batlord

This would be the 2004 graphic novel by Dan Slott, not the one from '89 by Grant Morrison (which I also have ). Before I started reading comics online I was starting to come up dry with new stuff to get at my local comic shop. I'd gotten most of the Batman stuff that I knew was good, and I didn't know enough about anything else to be comfortable dropping money on it. Now I almost feel physical pain at all the **** I have to leave for another day. Damn comic books.

On a side note, I'm starting to feel like I'm going to a show every time I head out to the shop. I'm accumulating a decent amount of comic book shirts, and I always debate with myself at which one I should wear. Of course I can't wear one with the character of the series I want to get, as that would be tacky. I'm not sure if this is douchey.

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The Batlord

As of right now it is 7:09 pm, I have the oven set to 425 with fries and a frozen metal lovers' pizza waiting in the freezer, and I'm cracking open Batman: Year One, all in preparation for the premier of Gotham in... fifty minutes. I'm gonna try to review the pilot during the commercial breaks as I watch it, so here's hoping I can type fast...

7:59!

... Yeah, that didn't work out. I was far too busy running around getting my artery-clogging feast ready during commercials to bother writing anything. Was worth it though. I had a constant stream of fried potatoes and pepperoni going being stuffed into my fat face. America. Fuck yeah.

Anyway, it was basically "worse than I'd hoped, but better than I'd feared". Not really fair since, it being a Batman(ish) series, I was pretty much hoping for the best thing since Firefly. Unrealistic, but it's Batman, so I can't help but pray for true greatness. But it was definitely better than the CSI clone, with a few characters thrown in with names of people who they would one day turn into, that I was afraid of it being. I can't say that I loved it, but for the most part I dug it, and there were definitely some really excellent scenes, so definitely see potential for it being at least more than a little awesome. I'm cautious, but optimistic. It's ****ing Batman after all. Other than the Schumacher Batman movies, he hasn't really failed to achieve greatness when crossing over out of comic books since... ever?

*spoilers ahead*

The episode starts out strong. Pre-Catwoman is the first character we meet. She does a wee bit of parkour to give a taste of the show's ability to capture action in a cinematic way, while also establishing her as a thieving urchin. Not a revelation obviously, but character building is necessary regardless. Running from a newly-walletless man she happens upon the iconic scene of the mugging that would soon change Bruce Wayne's life forever. It unfolds as expected, with Thomas and Martha Wayne lying dead in an alley and Bruce kneeling by their bodies. Then the camera pans up, staying centered on child Bruce, and you just know the "KKKKHHHHAAAANNNN!!!!" moment is coming. I could taste it, like bad milk. But instead of a piece of uber-cheesy narm from an awful child actor, the kid lets loose with the kind of ragged, heart-wrenching scream, straight from the depths of his soul, that I would expect from a boy who has just witnessed his parents' murder. I don't know exactly why, but the murder of Bruce Wayne's parents just gets to me. This kind of thing generally doesn't affect me, but I guess since it's a character who has been part of my DNA since my age was in the early single-digits I have more of an emotional stake in his fate. The kid does this scene justice far better than I was expecting for a network television show. So, I was sold from the first five minutes. If this series has the instincts for good writing and casting to nail what will likely be the most important scene in this season, then that's a good sign. Granted, it's a scene that comes fully-formed from seventy-five years of comic book history, but if it works, it works.

The other iconic scene from the comics to be adapted for the show would be the meeting of Bruce Wayne and Jim Gordon. It will be a relief to know that the question of Bruce's role in the show is established pretty convincingly here. The murder of his parents is clearly not the simple mugging that is often portrayed in the comics. There appears to be a conspiracy involving the various criminal organizations behind it, and the main plotline of the season is obviously going to be unearthing this tangled web. There is also a complete lack of a school in this episode, so if anyone is worried that this will be CSI awkwardly spliced together with Smallville, then fear not. Throughout the episode, Gordon investigates the case, meeting the main and supporting characters of the series along the way (Harvey Bullock, Renee Montoya, Fish Mooney, Penguin, Poison Ivy, Carmine Falcone, and I'm probably forgetting someone or other), establishing what will likely be a set of subplots of varying degrees of importance. Bruce is largely absent for much of the show, but it ends with a scene that sets up what will obviously develop into an alliance between himself and Gordon to uncover the true killer, and which will likely gradually bring the boy into crime fighting for the first time.

Just before, he's shown standing on the roof of his mansion, seemingly about to jump, but we soon learn that he was trying to "conquer his fear". It's not yet clear whether he's merely reacting to feelings of guilt over not doing anything to stop his parents' murder, or if he's even now planning for what will come. Either way, during his final conversation with Gordon, it is clear that he is no longer a little boy. He carries himself as an adult, an equal to Jim. His time as a victim was remarkably short, ya know, for anyone who isn't Batman. This is another scene that makes me think that Bruce has been cast correctly. Most child actors come across as flat, like they've memorized their lines, but don't understand how to actually act. This kid is something else entirely. Definitely impressed.

Most of the show is dedicated to being a police procedural though. This isn't quite a CSI clone or anything, but it's still a genre that's been mined so completely that there really isn't too much you can do to make it fresh. Gotham doesn't do a half bad job though. Shows like Grimm and Hannibal rely on outlandish premises and execution to set themselves apart, but this show has a simple way to do the same thing: rather than being episodic and dedicated simply to solving this week's case, Gotham is actually about fighting crime. It's a subtle distinction I suppose, but since we're dealing with entrenched, organized crime syndicates that won't be dislodged by some detective with a hair, a one-liner, a bottle cap only produced by one company between 1954 and 1955; rampant police corruption that includes even main characters; and recurring villains, many of whom will obviously remain active long after the events of this series, Gotham will be much more involved and plot driven than your average Law and Order rip off. It doesn't necessarily make those scenes where some breakthrough happens because of something-or-other any more exciting, but in the long run I imagine this show will have a personality all its own, with or without the Joker.

Where the show did shine when it was in procedural mode, were in the action sequences. The camera work throughout the episode was very cinematic, and went out of its way not to look like a television show. Even in moments of more traditional drama everything feels larger than life. But the action scenes were the most obvious example of this. One extended scene where Gordon is chasing down a man suspected of murdering the Waynes, and who also happens to be a young Poison Ivy's father, is kept dynamic and tension-filled by a wide variety of camera techniques and constantly changing angles. It was definitely more than a few notches above your average television drama.

For the most part, the characters were well-acted and well-cast. From commercials the most high profile character would probably be Penguin. The actor did a good job of portraying him as a vicious, sadistic psychopath with an inferiority complex, in a way that's probably closer to Arkham City than your average non-gamer would be used to. Many of the characters, such as Poison Ivy, are obviously being introduced as a way to engage new viewers up front, before being pushed aside until later in the season. Penguin's arc however, is clearly going to be continuing for the foreseeable future. Looking forward to it.

I'm waiting to see how much I like Gordon though. A straight-laced boy scout isn't exactly the most compelling character, but even now he's showing signs of the morally incorruptible man who is nevertheless willing to bend the rules when necessary who we know from the comics. I'm hoping that he will develop into a more interesting character as he evolves and becomes more seasoned. His partner, Detective Bullock, isn't particularly interesting at first either, as he appears to merely be a cynical, veteran cop stereotype, but as the episode progresses and his relationship with the mob becomes apparent, I became much more interested in his arc. He's clearly a man of some principle, even if he's not living up to it at the moment. How his relationship with his partner develops should make for some good drama.

Selina Kyle barely has a speaking part, but she reappears several times after watching Bruce's parent's murder, watching him from afar, and usually perching cat-like on something like a wall or a statue in a cemetery. I suppose it would have been harder to introduce her character without her having some connection to Bruce, and it makes sense to play on both of their negative experiences with their parents. Carmine Falcone is obviously going to be a central villain in the series, which means that Gordon, and by extension almost certainly Bruce, will be going after him. If Bruce is involved in a fight with Falcone then it might mean that his relationship will develop a similar dynamic as in The Long Halloween. Though how that would play out without Batman I don't know.

I was also pleasantly surprised by Falcone. He only appears for a short time near the end of the episode, but he is already showing himself to be a more three-dimensional character than the boring, mafia stereotype from Batman Begins.

Can't forget John Pertwee as Alfred either. He plays the character as a more hard-edged type, likely to play up Alfred's military history. He only appears in a few scenes, and without much in the way of dialogue, but he shows both a protectiveness towards Bruce that feels appropriate, and just a hint of the character's hallmark dry wit. I'm guessing that the more gruff portrayal will be used to make him a more awkward father figure to Bruce, in order to develop Bruce's isolation from people in general. Just a guess though.

All in all, I quite enjoyed the first episode of Gotham. The glut of characters might have been too much too soon, but having read an interview with the creator of the show which promised that this was merely for the pilot, I'm confident that things will be much more settled by next week. Here's hoping that this will be the best show of the year. If all goes well it has the potential to be.

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The Batlord

This issue is so new that I had to bust my ass just to find a cover the right size that didn't look like ****. But yeah, there's a female Thor now. If you didn't know that, then I really don't know what you're doing here, cause it's been hot **** news for like months. Even my (bitchass) friend who's lukewarm to comic books in general, and thought the first Thor movie was ****---in all fairness, it was---knew about it when I brought it up a while back. So no excuses. I actually haven't read the thing yet though; I just wanted to say a couple things first to mark this occasion.

There's been a lot of flak hurled Marvel's way over this, and not without cause. This was clearly an editorial decision, and not the idea of Jason Aaron, writer for the newly ended Thor: God of Thunder, and current writer for Thor. Supposedly, half the current readership for comic books are girls, and this is clearly who they're trying to reach with this. I don't know how true that statistic is---it certainly seems counter-intuitive---but I'll go with it. The current successes of Marvel Studios may very well have had this effect, and if so, Marvel obviously wants to capitalize on it.

It's also clear that they don't need to do something so drastic to revitalize the character, as God of Thunder has been trading places with Hawkeye the last couple of years at the top of lists for Marvel's best series, and I can second that. So we're left with an obvious case of executive interference.

I'm also leery of this as the transition has already been pretty awkward. The whole justification for a female Thor has been that the real Thor will somehow become unworthy of Mjolnir, which will mean that it may end up going to someone else who is, who will then gain all the powers of Thor. Marvel had actually been doing a good job up till this point: Thor's arc in his series showed him to be impotent and disheartened in the face of enemies that he could not fight merely with his fists (namely evil corporations and Asgardian politics). So I assumed that when I "opened" the final issue of T:GoT, that it would finally reveal how he was to become unworthy, and cap off a truly epic series while leading seamlessly into Thor #1.

Nope. I looked at the very first page, where it gives short bios on the main characters and a quick synopsis of the recent history of the series (take notes DC, you need to start doing this), only to see that Thor is ALREADY unworthy. Apparently he became so in issue #7 of Original Sin, which is the most recent of those damn company-wide crossover events that nobody but the nerdiest of the nerdy will every keep up with. And it wasn't even good apparently. ***spoiler*** Nick Fury just kind of whispers something in Thor's ear and he drops Mjolnir on the moon. We don't even know what Fury said. Bam. Unworthy. ***end spoiler*** So, the most important thing to happen to Thor for years didn't even happen in the pages of his own series? Hell, it didn't even happen in his Original Sin spin-off mini-series, Original Sin: Thor and Loki - The Tenth Realm.

****. You. Marvel.

And yet I am both optimistic, and sort of stoked. I am optimistic, because the same writer who made God of Thunder into comic book sex, Jason Aaron, is staying on for the new series. Marvel may have cocked up Thor's becoming unworthy, but you can hardly lay the blame for that on the guy who wasn't even writing Original Sin. After all, he's been responsible for actually giving us a character arc that might actually make the transition make any kind of sense at all. He's also clearly been building up to this since the start of the series. Even from the beginning he's been introducing plot elements that have been building over the past two years, and are just coming to fruition as we speak. If all goes well he's about to unleash some truly epic, Viking ****. Not to mention the whole thing with Galactus... He's even hinted at who may very well end up becoming the new Thor, and if I'm right, then I rather approve.

But I'm stoked because of my fellow fanboys. The sheer amount of misogynistic furor has been mind-boggling. Now, you all hopefully know me well enough to know that I am not a moral crusader. In all likelihood I sympathize with your race/gender/creed/nationality/etc's respective plight(s), but I probably don't care enough to give you anything but wishy washy moral support. (Go, black people!) These turds however, make me ashamed to be a comic book fan. The thought that I might be thrown in with these losers is simply unacceptable. So, I welcome this. Even if this attempt to attract female readers is horribly awkward, if it and other series targeted toward women succeed and female readership grows, then maybe the women-hating pigs will be shamed into silence, and I won't have to see them on Reddit while I'm looking for the newest issue of Harley Quinn. Hell, maybe they'll just quit reading comic books altogether and go bother the Dr. Who fans instead. If comics can't survive without them then they're probably a doomed medium anyway.

Also, I just have a serious thing for strong female characters. Never been quite sure why. I even prefer to play as girls in video games. If I'd ever shown any interest whatsoever in women's clothing I'd wonder if I was secretly a tranny. But either way, a badass Nordic thunder goddess? I'm totally on board.

But enough of my critically-acclaimed ramblings. Time to read this ****ing thing...




Well, Jason Aaron certainly didn't go out of his way to piss people off with issue#1. The new Thor doesn't even appear till the last two pages, and we still don't know who she is. At this point I'm just happy she doesn't look like she shares clothes with Red Sonja. The only new wrinkle about her is that it appears that Thor's mother, Freyja, might have something to do with her taking up the hammer. There seems to be a power struggle developing between her and her husband, Odin, who has until recently been in some kind of dimension that's a prison but also a hut, keeping some other guy captive. I don't really know what that's about, but he's back now, and his wife doesn't seem willing to give up the power that she had been holding. A rather unsubtle parallel to what's going on, but a power struggle in Asgard at this point in time will be interesting.

But the main focus is still Thor at this point, though I think that will shift starting with #2. The issue starts with the same gorgeous, fantasy/sci fi artwork that made the last series so amazing. I was worried when I found out that Asad Ribic wouldn't be carrying over from God of Thunder, but my fears were apparently unfounded, as the new artist, Russell Dauterman, is doing a kickass job right out of the gate. Like I was thinking, the plot points that have been building for the past two years are finally being realized. Frost giants are invading Midgard, led by their ally, Malekith the Accursed, king of the dark elves of Svartalfheim. With the hints that have been dropped further back in T:GoT about a further alliance with the demons of Muspelheim, the emergence of age-old enemies of Asgard in the angels of the recently rediscovered Tenth Realm from Original Sin: Thor and Loki - The Tenth Realm (long story), a whole evil-Loki-vs-good-Loki-and-time-travel thing from Loki: Agent of Asgard (long story), and the continued evilness of the Minotaur-led multinational corporation, Roxxon, from the latest arc of T:GoT (long story), this is shaping up to be an epic war to span time, space, and whatever else you can think of. It's gonna take some really ****ty writing for Jason Aaron to not come up with gold here, especially since the new Thor, assuming she's who I think she is, will be all wrapped up in another part of the story that's been developing since issue #1. It's gonna get convoluted, folks.

Oh yeah, right. Frost giants. There's a pretty spectacular scene at the beginning, where an army of Jotun ("frost giants" for the mythologically illiterate) attack a bitchin' undersea base owned by that evil corporation I just mentioned. There's a whole thing about a skull that Roxxon found at the bottom of the ocean that's supposed to bring back some big, bad, frost giant king or something (I'd have to break out T:GoT #25 to refresh my memory, and I'm lazy), and Malekith is helping them get it back. It's one of the more visually impressive scenes I've seen recently.

Also, "attack sharks". Oh yeah.

The issue is mostly taken up with this plotline, and Thor on the moon, despondent over his inability to pick up Mjolnir. There's a whole thing where all of his fellow Asgardians are gathered around him like some weird family standing around a boy's bed, commiserating with him that he just can't get it up to **** his girlfriend... You know, this is all kind of a metaphor for erectile dysfunction and penis envy, isn't it? I'm sure the fanboys are ****ting themselves with chauvinistic rage right about now. But anyways, the scene feels pretty natural. Thor really feels distraught and listless in a way that doesn't feel cheesy or poorly written. Then Odin's messenger crows, Mugin and Hugin ("thought" and "memory" if I'm not mistaken), show up to inform them all of the frost giant attack. Cue short debate with Odin and Freyja over what to do about it, which seemingly leads to Freyja plotting something or other that we are to assume results in whoever it is picking up Mjolnir and becoming Thor. If one weren't familiar with T:GoT, it might seem that Freyja herself had picked it up, but the hints about the other woman that have been given, along with the lack of any kind of foreshadowing as to Freyja becoming Thor, lead me to dismiss this possibility.

The book finishes with a bitchin' fight between Thor (who's stopped feeling sorry for himself long enough to get a big, ****ing axe), Malekith, and the frost giants on the bottom of the ocean. Just to add injury to insult, Aaron really puts one over on poor old Thor by having Malekith CUT OFF HIS HAMMER ARM!!! This has been alluded to in T:GoT, what with a whole recurring storyline of a future Thor who is king of Asgard and only has one arm, but now we finally see how it happens. Bitchin'. He's left on the bottom of the ocean to die---because what villain would ever be stupid enough to leave a seemingly-defeated hero still alive to come back and kick their ass later on?---before the final cut to the new Thor, and a bitch-****in'-in' splash page of her holding Mjolnir aloft, lightning a-cracklin'.

So, we're not really allowed to judge the new Thor even in her first book, but I think that's a good thing. The important thing is the storyline after all, especially as it's a storyline that's been developing for over two years, so having her overshadow it from the word "Go!" wouldn't be so great. And from what it looks like, female Thor aside, Aaron really is picking up right where he left off, which is exactly where I wanted him to. It's still up in the air whether the new Thor will find her place here, but I have faith in this writer. Lookin' good so far.

Thank god she wasn't wearing a metal bikini.

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The Batlord

* Note: This is concerning the original run from the early '00s, and not the newer Miles Morales series, which I have yet to read.

Ultimate Spider-Man is just the ****. It's pretty much everything I could hope for in a Spider-Man comic book. The super hero stuff? Flawless. The battle scenes are dramatic and emotionally tied into the theme of the story arc in a way that makes them more than just "the battle scene". The drama? Remarkably fleshed out, with charming yet tasteful Buffy-style high school melodrama, seamlessly side-by-side with hard-hitting issues that develop the personalities of not just Peter Parker, but multiple supporting cast members in ways that really make this an ensemble series. Love, love, love this comic.

The star of this series is clearly the slow-burning writing of Michael Bendis. Rather than the usual enemy of the week that even some of the best comics of today fall into, Ultimate Spider-Man takes its time. The first story arc, which details Spider-Man's origin (this being a non-canon "relaunch" that begins with Peter Parker as a fifteen-year-old high school student without powers), rather than taking up two or three issues, as it could, instead lasts for seven issues, and I believe we don't even see Spider-Man until issue six, (Though I could be wrong as it's been a couple months since I read that arc.) This could easily become tedious, but brilliant characterizations that really make Peter, MJ, Gwen Stacy, Norman and Harry Osborn, Aunt May, Ben Parker*, and a host of others all seem like real people, making their lives just as, if not more interesting than the spandex elements.

*I actually think I might have just noticed an inconsistency. In a later issue, Aunt May claims that Peter's mother was her sister, which would mean that Uncle Ben was an in-law to the Parkers, and would assumedly not have the last name "Parker". And yes, I checked, and I'm fairly sure his last name is still "Parker" in this universe. Of course, he's an old hippy now, so maybe he was just being anti-establishment or something.

Peter's journey though is obviously what any Spider-Man comic lives or dies by. Even the original series never quite made him feel like the child that he really was, but Ultimate Spider-Man really sells that dynamic. It's a really great touch to make him fifteen (he was actually originally seventeen). It allows him to really come across as the kind of insecure man-child, uncomfortable in his own skin, that only a child at that stage of their life can be. Whether it's fear of women, fear of humiliation, or fear of the wider world in general, his teenage neuroticism makes him appear completely out of his depth in his new role as a hero. Artist Mark Bagley is just as instrumental to this as well. With his short stature and gangly frame, Spider-Man has never looked more like a shrimp who couldn't win a fight with a wet paper bag. Against the likes of the Green Goblin and Dr. Octopus, it really looks like David vs. Goliath. When these Bendis and Bagley combine their talents, Peter's sheer terror at the truly harrowing predicaments that he finds himself in make it a feat of heroism all by itself that he can even find it within himself to move when faced with these challenges, let alone banter.

Another thing that I love is that this series, like any Spider-Man comic worth the name, never takes itself too seriously, while avoiding camp, except in small, charming doses. I took this comic back up after a short break after unsuccessfully trying to get into Uncanny X-Force. That is a series which does seem to be rather po-faced, though admittedly I didn't make it much past issue two or three. Aside from the delightful inclusion of one of my new favorite comic characters, Deadpool, this series is all serious, all high comic book epicness, all the time, with a severe art style to match. It kind of makes it hard to really connect with the characters when they're so grim all the time, so what should be gripping drama just feels kind of flat. Ultimate Spider-Man on the other hand, isn't at all afraid to bathe in quasi-Gossip Girl drama, but with its focus on strong characters you're too busy falling in love with them to care that you're twenty-eight years old and hoping that Peter and MJ quit being such goobers and tell each other how they feel al-****ing-ready. The result is that despite, or possibly because of, the lighter tone, you end up becoming more emotionally invested in the characters, so that when something happens to them, you really care (To date, I have become misty-eyed twice; one of those times officially has me shipping Peter/Gwen over Peter/MJ.) Michael Bendis clearly has a love for Spider-Man that can only come from a gushing comic book fanboy who doesn't give a **** that his parents spent much of his teens/twenties hoping he'd just grow up and get a real job already.

The only real complaint I have about the series is some of the artwork. While the the facial expressions are certainly engaging, the faces themselves are kind of goofy looking. It doesn't detract too much, but Bagley's facial structures aren't exactly his strong suit. Also, what the **** are with those squiggly lines on Spider-Man's suit's eyepieces? They kind of look like those triangle eyes in anime, where the character is closing them because they're really happy, and it just looks really weird for no apparent reason. It wouldn't be so bad, but sometimes, in dramatic moments, when he should look shocked or angry or sad, he just looks happy and content.




Well, other than those very minor things, this series is one of my favorite finds. If you dig Spider-Man, then you need this comic in your life. Like, yesterday.

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The Batlord

Ahem.



There. I feel better.

So, for the last day or so I've been on one of my little downloading sprees, and I have quite a few new things things to read, not to mention all of the other comics that are already clogging up my flashdrive. But for most of today I couldn't read any of them. No matter how good they were there was no way on Earth that I would have been able to dive into them after I'd heard about this series. Since early this morning (Friday), I've been scouring the internet for volume 1 & 2 of Dr. Fate. Not because of how good they were supposed to be---before I read vol 1 I honestly didn't have the slightest idea of its quality---and not because I was particularly obsessed with the character; aside from a few mentions in a book and a single episode of Batman: The Animated Series, I had almost no familiarity with Dr. Fate whatsoever. In fact, Dr. Fate is a Golden Age hero from the forties, and the Dr. Fate of this series isn't even the original. The new "one" is actually a boy and his widowed stepmother who combine into the titular hero like the Fusion Dance from Dragonball Z (God I love comic books.)

No, the reason I dropped everything to desperately troll the internet for copies of this series, is that the boy and his step mother are in love. And did I mention that the boy is ten-years-old?

Seriously.

Ten-years-old.

I'm not even sure if it's a defense that he, Eric, has been magically aged to adulthood, but... he has been, so it's only like... quasi-pedophilia? And since they're not blood relatives I suppose it's only quasi-incest. I suppose it's also worth mentioning that nothing has been consummated yet, as it's more of an unrequited thing... mutually unrequited. So yeah, it's totally normal and not at all horrifying. (Please note the lack of a Comic Code Authority logo on this book in a time before Vertigo.)

Seriously, how could I not obsess over reading this... thing? And you know what? It's kind of amazing, even aside from the Oedipal pedophilia. I'm not even entirely sure what to make of the relationship to be perfectly honest. A lot of the themes of the story could be interpreted as supporting the idea, but then again, their... budding relationship, is so blatant and non-subtextual, that I can't be sure it's not just a bizarre literary device meant to **** with your head. Cause that's kind of what this book is about.

After a short battle between the original Dr. Fate, Kent Nelson, and a demon named Typhon, the tale begins with Linda, the step-mother, and Eric going to a playground, where she implores him to go play with some other children. He's not too keen on this, as he's "an old soul" or something, and doesn't really connect with people his own age. After he goes off to do what children ought to be doing, Linda reflects on how she feels that she's far too preoccupied with her step-son. She's clearly squicked out about this, but her attraction seems mental rather than physical at this point (I hope). Too show that the writer, one J.M. DeMatteis, is self-aware of what he is doing, while Linda is preoccupied with her thoughts, a man who we later discover is Kent Nelson approaches Eric and leads him away, presumably to a white van.

This theme is further explored after Dr. Fate takes the boy to his magical tower where he is introduced to the Rolling Stones' mouth logo on acid, who goes by the name of Nabu and currently resides in the middle of Nelson's chest. Apparently this mouth-thing is a "Shining One", which is a spirit/angel/thing on the side of Order (Typhon being his opposite on the side of Chaos). Long story short, the power of Dr. Fate comes from Nabu, but he now needs to take control of Eric's body so that he can become the new Dr. Fate. Without the boy's consent the spirit invades his mind, ages him to adulthood, and bang, pow, boom, he's the new Dr. Fate. This is all very creepy and, along with Nabu's predatory grin directly after the fact, is clearly a metaphor for rape.

Nabu seems to do this with alarming frequency, as we later learn that the Shining Ones implanted the idea in Kent Nelson's archaeologist father's head to take him to an ancient Sumerian dig site, where Nabu kills the kid's dad and takes over his mind in much the same way. Kent kind of went along with this, not realizing that Nabu was controlling him, until finally realizing near the end of the series that his mind has been basically been violated and Nabu has been hijacking his life for over forty years. It's all very Steve Wilkos. So yeah, Nabu is kind of an *******.

For weeks Eric is trained in the ways of being the new Dr. Fate, while Linda is beside herself, not knowing if her step-son/pedo-crush is alive or dead. Eventually Nabu takes Eric out to fight Typhon, but abandons him in the middle of the battle, and his mind is violated AGAIN by the demon, driving him insane. Typhon's human minion, Benjamin Stoner (huh huh huh), who is a psychiatrist at Arkham Asylum---where they seriously need to work on their screening process---locks him up in a padded cell with a straight-jacket. Before now Eric had pretty much acted like an adult, even as a child, but his mind is now broken and he can only huddle in the fetal position and mutter his own name and "wannagohome" over and over again without any spaces. It's pretty unsubtle in presenting him as a victim of molestation.

Alright, so far I haven't really backed up my claim that this series is "kind of amazing". All the creepiness is kind of distracting after all. But the basic premise of this book is that basically, there are the forces of Order, and the forces of Chaos. They've got this karmic cycle thing going on where the world goes through several time periods: in the beginning the universe kicks ass and everything is daisies, then Chaos starts to creep in and it only mostly kicks ass, then Chaos really starts causing trouble and it doesn't really kick ass that much anymore, and then finally Chaos takes over and destroys all life, after which the cycle starts all over again. Not an original idea by any means, but the surprisingly literary execution really elevates the subject matter (even... the other thing... kind of).

I think Benjamin Stoner is probably the best thing about this series. As I said, he's an Arkham psychiatrist who was passionately committed to helping the insane. But as the years went on he became disillusioned by the world, and that's when Typhon approached him, promising to take away his ability to care if Stoner would let Typhon possess him and make him is servant to help destroy the world. The Killing Joke is clearly a huge influence on Stoner's character, which is alluded to by several one-panel cameos of the Joker in the asylum. Stoner has the same basic character arc: a good man who couldn't deal with the horrors of the world, so he threw away his humanity to numb the pain, and now just wants "to watch the world burn". He's not as cartoonishly fun a villain as the Joker, but his pathos and descent into madness feel more realistic, making him a great character in his own right, rather than just a two-dimensional cardboard cutout.

The forces of Order are barely any better. The Shining Ones consider themselves superior to humanity, and are willing to sacrifice them and the universe to allow the cycle to continue, reasoning that the perfect, golden age that will follow is worth what will be lost. They seem to fight for order merely because it's their place in the universe to do so. Even Nabu, who is sort of a rogue intent on saving humanity, is arrogant and uses individual humans for "the greater good" in order to further his goals to save humanity as a whole, regardless of the consequences to his "allies". Consequently, the human race is basically caught between the two opposing forces and is being crushed between the gears of this merciless, indifferent machine.

Eric and Linda are the foils to Stoner and Typhon. They are unwilling to give in to despair and let Chaos and Order destroy the world for their own ends. It's a clear metaphor for staying true to one's convictions rather than giving in to the dehumanizing apathy caused by the world's horrors, or the cynical resignation of conforming to society's compromised, pragmatic pseudo-morality. It's a pretty powerful message that speaks to me much more than the simple, black-and-white messages of many superhero comics.

The possible subtext though, is that Eric and Linda going their own way is also symbolized by their... non-traditional relationship. Dr. Fate's magical powers come from the fusion of Nabu and his host. Nabu insists that these people (it's alluded that there have been several Dr. Fates) must give in to his control so that he can exercise his powers directly. Near the end however, it's revealed that to truly unlock Dr. Fate's potential requires a fusion of a man and a woman in love (hey, it's comic books), whose combined willpower will be able to control Nabu's powers in a more equal, symbiotic relationship. But Nabu desires control, so he is unwilling to allow this, and the subtext of the resulting conflict basically is that Nabu and the forces of Order (mainstream society perhaps) should quit being such arrogant dickwads and just let Eric and Linda be together already. Creepy. I suppose I might be reading too much into this, but it's kind of hard to come up with another interpretation.

But back to Eric in the asylum. The reason why Stoner and Typhon have imprisoned him is so that they can steal the power of Dr. Fate in order to destroy the universe. They eventually succeed, and it gets pretty badass after that. As the new Dr. Fate, Stoner merges completely with Typhon, and they basically become Venom.



And yeah, I checked, and this series came out in the summer of 1987, while the first appearance of Venom was almost a year later. So Todd McFarlane definitely ripped this comic off (nice bit of trivia, huh?). And since McFarlane also tried to steal several characters that he co-created with Neil Gaiman (Angela, Cogliostro, Medieval Spawn) he's looking more and more like a complete ****. But anyways...

With the combined powers of Dr. Fate and Typhon now unleashed upon the world, we get some seriously Lovecraftian imagery of nightmarish demons and spirits spreading madness over the world. It's pretty fantastic and almost makes you forget the pedo stuff for a little while.



Then of course, Eric and Linda are reunited, strike and uneasy alliance with Nabu and Kent Nelson, and head off to Egypt where Stoner/Tyson are trying to use the power of the pyramids to finally destroy all of creation. Also of creepy note is that during their confrontation, Stoner nearly kills Eric, body and mind, leaving him nothing but a single thought... that looks like a sperm. Then of course there's the whole thing with Eric and Linda trying to merge and Nabu being all like "**** that ****", until eventually he consents, and turns Linda into a bolt of pure energy which shoots toward Eric's thought-self, looking like a meteor. It doesn't take much to imagine this looking like a sperm fertilizing an egg. So, basically, them "joining" is symbolic of sex. This isn't as clear a panel as a few of the others for making it look like a sperm and an egg, but the dialogue makes the symbolism pretty blatant.



Well... that's just a big ol' pile of "WTF?!" So they merge, kick Stoner/Typhon's ass, and then all is good with the world. Cue end of mini-series and start of Dr. Fate volume 2.

I really don't know what to do with Eric and Linda's relationship. There's no way it isn't horribly, horribly wrong, but it's so in-your-face that I can't help but wonder if it isn't just some bizarre literary device to further muddy the moral waters of this series and **** with your mind. The conclusions I can draw about the author's possible intentions are obvious, but if he was trying to express his own deviant sexuality, then why on Earth wouldn't he try to hide that **** more? But... GAAAAHHHH!!!!! I don't ****ing know. I just don't. Either way, it's like a train wreck, and I just can't look away. And the quality of the series is such that, even with the ****ed-up relationship between Eric and Linda, I can still appreciate it on its other merits. I'll definitely be checking out volume 2, which stars the same two characters as Dr. Fate, and which goes on for over forty issues. Someone else takes on the identity of Dr. Fate around issue thirty-something, but still, this is a relationship that was maintained in some form for what adds up to THREE YEARS! Three years DC Comics kept on saying, "Alright, sounds good." So... I guess this series must be worth reading at least.

And just to leave you with some imagery to haunt you...



Holy ****, this comic book needs Jesus.

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Unknown Soldier

I could never really make up my mind about the Punisher as a character, because he was really just a product of the 1970s and came out around the time of the early Death Wish films where vigilantes of extreme violence were very much en-vogue.

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Metal Wars

Power Metal

Pounding Decibels- A Hard and Heavy History