The Batlord

Through pretty much this whole series I was cycling through one of three stages: not knowing what the **** was going on, thinking I'd finally figured out what the **** was going on, and then throwing up my hands and admitting I still had no idea what the **** was going on. If I had to compare this to anything, it would be the Arkham Asylum graphic novel. They both have that bizarre, impressionistic art style that assaults the eyes, and they both try to confuse the **** out of you with left-field storytelling. But I pretty much always knew what was going on with Arkham Asylum. The plot may have been weird, and the storytelling obtuse, but it never had me pulling out my hair trying to figure out whether an event/character/entire-****ing-comic had been a hallucination, or desperately attempting to piece together a timeline of when issues were supposed to have taken place within the series.

Seriously, I'm still not entirely sure I know what the **** just happened. Frank Miller has officially rearranged my ****. For most of issue four I was convinced I knew what was going on. There was a head**** plotline going on that I was sure was a smokescreen to lead me away from the truth, and I was all like, "Alright, Miller, you comic book hack, I'm onto you. You can't fool me." Then it turned out that the entire story that I had thought to be a red herring was in fact real, and I had misdirected myself (and by that I mean that Frank Miller made me his bitch). If you're looking for an easy read, or a piece of comic book pulp, then go pick up Batman, cause this is anything but. This is the comic book equivalent of an acid trip. I mean that. If I were to drop acid and pick up a random comic book, this is how I imagine the art would look, how bewildering it would be to read, and how unsettling the experience would be in general. I'm stone cold sober and I still feel like curling up into the fetal position and sucking my thumb.

Just look at this ****...




I had the benefit of context, but I probably still only had a vaguely better notion of what the **** she was talking about than you just did.

Aside from the head****ery of the story, this was also a vastly different Elektra than I had become used to during Miller's run on Daredevil in the early eighties -- which is where she debuted and, at the time, died. Nobody seems to want to say it, but he wasted her potential there as far as I'm concerned. She was meant to be a ruthless assassin, but her role as tragic figure and estranged lover to Daredevil often neutered her. She had some seriously good moments, but by the time of her death I didn't feel that Elektra had been done justice.

In Elektra: Assassin, however, the darker side of her character is explored to full effect. She shows a level of competence, ruthlessness, and single-minded determination that would have Batman sleeping with a nightlight. Rather than concentrating on her backstory and romantic history with Daredevil (who is mentioned only once in the entire series), Miller tells much of the narrative through the eyes of a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who she is psychically controlling in order to do... **** knows. With a plot that is also centered around the concepts of political demagoguery and the apocalypse, there's a pretty clear parallel between Elektra and the devil himself. Think Dracula, but as a hot, Greek ninja.

With only her original Daredevil appearances, and this, I still don't know what to make of her character. They're two completely different interpretations and, while this series does an excellent job of turning a conflicted villain/antihero who I am told is a ruthless assassin into an actual ruthless assassin, I have no idea where the two are supposed to meet. I see that as Daredevil's failure, however, even if Elektra: Assassin swings the ball a bit too far in the other direction to be able to reconcile it with her characterization anywhere else in the Marvel universe.

So, in closing, read this ****. You need to. It's awesome. Why did Frank Miller have to go off the deep end?

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The Batlord

Collects issues #0-#8 of her current series. I ****ing love this comic so ****ing much. Her characterization in Suicide Squad is fun, but just doesn't have that lovable insanity which makes her so awesome. This series manages to get that right, all while integrating her new, homicidal tendencies, making a character that is hilariously ****ed up and delightfully whacky. I anticipate each new issue like a crackhead does his dealer finally getting off work. And a lot of people complain about her new bleached skin, hair color, and costume, but as far I'm concerned her design is perfect. The Victorian ruff collar in Suicide Squad needs to die, but in this series she looks fantastic.





For those who have only seen the movies, then quit ****ing around and go read the comic. The movies are pretty good, but the comic ****s on them. A perfect deconstruction of superhero tropes while being a great action series with amazing characters. It took me two days to make my way through all three Kick-Ass series, the Hit-Girl mini-series, and the two movies, and I am thoroughly smitten. Hit-Girl has become one of my new all-time favorite comic book characters. Her portrayal in the movies was fine, but she's absolutely perfect in the comics. Love, love, love her. An avatar will be forthcoming. Possible favorite line in the whole series is in this TPB: "You're not a superhero! You're a little girl with a personality disorder!" Will also be checking out everything Mark Millar has ever done.

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The Batlord

They are not cosplayers. They are not hobbyists. They are not like you and me. These are men and women who take the law and their lives into their hands to suit up, with homemade uniforms and cellphones to call the real police, in order to fight crime. Just. Like. Batman. I bet you thought superheroes were confined to the pages of comic books; you would be wrong. There are indeed "real" ones walking the streets today, and I shall highlight the most hilar-I mean, notable individuals.




I think the name says it all. From his intimidating goggles, to his knick knack-covered body armor, this is clearly a man for whom the word "extreme" is not just an idea, but a way of life. Security guard and volunteer fire fighter by day, by night Mr. Xtreme patrols the streets of San Diego to discourage violent crime, and even participates in community outreach programs. Not a man to go by half measures, he has even established the so-called "Xtreme Justice League", with whose members he teams up for patrols and volunteer work. His identity and marital status remain a closely guarded secret.




Keep up the good work, Mr. Xtreme. We are xtremely proud of you.

Motor Mouth

Can you guess what Motor Mouth's special ability is? It's a stun gun. But first he'll try to talk his way out of a confrontation while patrolling nighttime San Fransisco, California with his team, the Northern California Protectorate -- part of a larger group that operates up and down the West Coast.

But he's not all talk -- remember, he has a stun gun. During 2010 riots caused by the verdict in a racially sensitive court case involving the shooting death of an unarmed African American man, Motor Mouth and his fellow super heroes bravely took to the streets of Oakland to try to maintain order.




As you can see from his impressive physique, Motor Mouth's namesake is a versatile weapon. Keep on motoring, man.

Zetaman

Like any self respecting real life superhero, Zetaman does his share of late night patrols, but his real passion is community outreach. The thing that really sets him apart from his peers is that he has his own Youtube reality show, The Real Adventures of Zetaman, which documents his "adventures" (i.e. Toys for Tots kinda ****).




Surely, a cartoon series will be soon to follow.





... I'm sorry, what was I saying? Oh right, in a "field" dominated by men, Nyx is an exception. Operating out of New York, she concentrates her work on protecting the homeless. But where other superheroes are more open about their patrols, using their intimidation factor as a deterrent, Nyx prefers to operate in the shadows: “Like the night, I cannot be proven or disproven to certain degrees; and also much like the night, when morning comes, there will be no trace of me.”




You know, I think those crazy, crazy, mother****ing crazy kids just might make it.




I suppose that there would inevitably emerge an anti-hero in the real life superhero movement. Phoenix Jones is that man, along with his Rain City Superhero Movement. A professional MMA fighter in his civilian life, he has been arrested after using peppery spray against an assailant, and been involved in numerous other altercations which have given him a rather dubious reputation with the Seattle police.





I don't know about you people, but knowing that heroes like these are out in the streets, protecting the innocent, makes me feel much safer to step outside my house. So, I salute you, oh Justice League wannabes of dubious mental capacity. Now, will one of you fall into a vat of toxic waste and get laser eye beams already?

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Black Francis

I saw a documentary on real life heroes, those guys are for real, some of them think they have a real power while others just want to do justice as vigilante.

I liked your Elektra entry too, can't say im surprised Frank miller f*cked her up though, that's kinda what he does, right? i remember hearing a friend telling me about how Frank miller did the same thing for batman, he told me this years ago before i even knew who we was.

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"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

The Batlord

He didn't so much **** her up as not really flesh her out enough, which isn't that surprising considering that Daredevil was one of, if not his first writing assignment ever. She was fantastic in Elektra: Assassin though.

And I don't know that I'd say he ****ed up in Batman. I think a lot of sexist comic book nerds just can't get over their own prejudices when Miller portrays Catwoman as starting out as a prostitute.

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Black Francis

I didn't mean f*cked up in a bad way, i meant it in a good way.

I said F*cked up cause he made them more flawed and gritty which was welcomed by most fans, no? that's why i came to know about him. i remember my friend making a big deal on how remade Batman for the better.

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"Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

The Batlord

Ah. Yeah, the dude has a knack for elevating characters beyond comic book pulp.

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The Batlord

I've been a massive fan of the current Hawkeye solo series: it's charmingly offbeat, has some of the most fantastic characters I've ever seen in a comic, uses innovative storytelling, and is as literate and mature as any comic has a right to be, while still using vast amounts of clever humor to poke fun at both itself and comics in general (as many of the best superhero deconstructions do).




It's made me pray to the comic book gods for a Hawkeye solo movie -- though from what I hear, that's not exactly a priority for Marvel at the moment -- and given me the little sister I always wanted, in Kate Bishop, a teenage(?) girl Hawkeye who refuses to go by Lady Hawkeye or Hawkgirl, or be called a sidekick.

That said, the current run is coming to an end, and there is now a new creative team to replace Matt Fraction (writer) and David Aja (artist), with Jeff Lemire and Ramon Perez, respectively. The combination of the two former collaborators has been nothing short of inspired, with both being integral to the overall quality and vibe of the series, so even though I have some serious respect for Jeff Lemire for what he's done with the current Green Arrow series, I can't help but feel nothing but resentment for the end of an era. I know creative teams come and go, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.

R.I.P. all that is good in life.

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The Batlord

Disclaimer: This went down two Saturdays ago, but I held off on doing a write-up about it since my main acquisition was a special order that took a week to arrive, so I wanted to wait till I could show off my glorious prize.




When the owner of my local comic shop (pictured above, with unknown female) mentioned that the most important holiday of the year was coming up in a week a little while ago, I was stoked: along with the free comics, he promised cosplayers and food -- there were neither of the latter when I showed up, howeveer. Of course, it's possible that that all went down later in the day, but I wanted to show up early, before all the free stuff was gone. I'll have to ask the dude if there's an optimum time to show up next year. Consequently, aside from the table full of free comics, and a big crowd that was all up in the way of the graphic novel section, it ended up being a pretty normal day at Borderless Comics.

Too bad I don't have a camera on my phone, or I'd have some pics from the day, but due to the lack of anything particularly exciting going on, I don't suppose you're missing much.

Still, I got me some free comics, most of which weren't particularly notable. I guess that shouldn't be surprising, considering they were free. But here they are anyway...




Most notable I guess was that 2000 A.D. anthology. It had some Dredd and an assortment of other half-decent/meh stories, mostly of the OTP, old school sci fi/fantasy pulp variety. Then there was a two-part issue with a Teen Titans Go! story about an all-girl slumber party, which was moderately amusing, backed with a Super Friends/Scooby Doo crossover that considerably less so. I was most stoked for issue of The Tick that you can kind of make out at the back, but it was relatively meh. I'm intrigued by the Fight Club comic, which is a new sequel to he original book. The Free Comic Book Day issue is apparently an introduction to the series, which will begin actual publishing later this month. Was actually fairly cool. I'll actually be keeping an eye out for this new series.

I was more happy with a couple, small, free posters I picked up for Spider-Woman and Deadpool, which now proudly adorn my door, along with my Marvel calender. The camera on my computer sucks, and the lighting in my room is awful, so the pic I took doesn't look so great.





They're posters for the new issues of their respective series, so here's what they look like when not blurry and ugly.





****in' righteous. Any ladies looking to engage in sexual intercourse should form an orderly line and patiently wait their turn. There's enough Batlord for everybody. But the real story is that special order I made: all eight issues of Elektra: Assassin. Aw, yeah.




Just picked those bad boys up today, and they are now one of the crowning achievements of my comic book collection, not to mention a significant step forward in my journey as a comic book nerd. Plenty of people have bought a comic book before, but how many have actually special ordered them? How many Dork Lords have put down money for a comic that they didn't even get until a week later? I think there's an outside chance that there are more active serial killers on Earth than there are people who have special ordered a comic book. The few. The not so proud.

Well, that's all for this year. Till next Free Comic Book Day, mother****ers!

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Janszoon

Ah, the helmetless, wheezing Darth Vader look, sure to strike fear into the heart of the criminal underworld.

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