Ki's Journal for Terrible Albums
 

So, I wrote a really snarky point by point "review" of ELP's Love Beach in my journal, and Trollheart said something like...

Judging by whether or not he took that idea and the journal hasn't been approved yet, i'm taking his hint at an idea for a journal. Basically, it's exactly as it sounds. I'm going to be writing reviews in the same style as the one I did for Love Beach, for other albums that I think straight up suck. I've been wanting to start another journal, and this seems just the right kind of thing to do.

So sit tight, it may get rocky in here. This is going to be so much fun.

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Hell and damnation! Where are my lawyers when I need them? What do you mean, you can't copyright a vague idea?? Pah! What am I paying you overpaid Harvard dropouts for? What ever happened to the spirit of free enterprise? Hmm. Sank off the coast of the Congo, you say? All hands lost? No survivors? Excellent! Still, it's not good enough! I should be able to do whatever I like! Well, looks like you win this round, Mister Ki, but that's all right. I could crush you like an ant, but I'll just bide my time, let you twist in the wind ... ah hell with it! I'll just crush you like an ant!
http://memecrunch.com/meme/CUY5/mr-burns/image.png
What? Threats? Oh no, you misunderstand me my friend. Charles Montgomery Burns does not make threats, oh no... BWA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA!
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^Woah! Take it up with my lawyer, I have done nothing! Better yet, let these guys discuss the case:

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Anyway, album review coming shortly.

Black Sabbath - Dehumanizer

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ehumanizer.jpg

• Ronnie James Dio and Black Sabbath do not go together. I'm sorry, they just don't.
• If they wanted to release music with Dio as the vocalist, they could have at least changed the name of the band.
• There's not a whole lot that really sticks with me with this album, it doesn't have the feel like Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Paranoid, and the like all have.
• The album art also doesn't make much sense to me. I don't see how electrifying someone as "death" is anything to do with the term "Dehumanizer", but hey, I could be proven wrong.

Sigur Ros - Kveikur

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...lbum_cover.jpg

• This is not what I have come to love about Sigur Ros. The album is decent, but it's not what I want to hear.
• Industrial Post-Rock? Why?
• I've mentioned before, but I don't think releasing this album and Valtari so close together really did this album any good.
• As mentioned above, polar opposites when it comes to albums isn't the best way to go if you're thinking to release two albums within a year of each other. If there was some space in between, perhaps it may have left a different impression.
• Album art is pretty cool though, I like the simplicity of it.
• I can usually name off a song of each album of theirs that I like, but this one doesn't have that effect. I just draw a blank.

Whoa whoa whoa! Whoa! Whoa I say! Did you really write that sentence?? Am I to believe you don't rate "Heaven and Hell"? Are you not a Dio follower? You prefer Ozzy? Ozy had his time and he was great but Dio took Sabbath to new levels of craft, and his voice was PERFECT for the band. Why do you think they formed the band Heaven and Hell?

Oh dear oh dear. I think we may only meet from now on at weddings and funerals. My Christmas card list may be one shorter this year.

Wait till the Batlord hears of this! Hershey! No wait, that's a chocolate bar, isn't it? And one of the judges in Judge Dredd. Hearsay! No that's not it either... lemme see.. oh yeah! Blashphemy!
Pah! Stoning's too good for ya!

While I don't have that strong of a judgement, I'm going to have to kind of agree with Trollheart on this, and I will say that Heaven and Hell and Mob Rules showed that Dio's style was right for a band who had to get rid of their original lead singer that lost it by 1978 - a move that seriously saved both the band and Ozzy when you look at the results. Look at who else took the mic - Ian Gillan was a good vocalist for Deep Purple and Gillan, but only OK for Sabbath and the others who followed in his path like Glenn Hughes and Tony Martin were professional but not too distinctive. Although I am more of a Classic Era Sabbath listener, I will give credit to Dio for actually having what it takes for their style. Dehimanizer may not be much by comparison to the first four, but it's much preferable to something like Seventh Star.

Although it's a 1992 album, things could have been much worse. That "Black Sabbath With Tony Iommi" Seventh Star era was very worrying in my book.

^To the both of you, i'll just leave it at the fact that I don't think Dio and Sabbath work together well. They just don't. However, in my other journal, I will be writing about Rainbow in response to my hate for this album under the Black Sabbath discog.

ACDC - Highway To Hell (and every other album including Bon Scott)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ay_to_Hell.JPG

• Bon Scott and ACDC don't go together. Yes, same argument for Black Sabbath, still applies here.
• This album isn't terrible, I just think it's every other album afterwards got significantly better with Brian Johnson on vocals.
• This...
  
  I love the comment on this video: "No offense Brian, but Bon made ACDC"
  
  WRONG! But hey, this is my opinion, so....YOU'RE STILL WRONG!

Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns

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• I tried to like it, i really did. But going from what you sounded like in Hybrid Theory and Meteora, this was just too low for me.
• I remember when The Catalyst was released on their Myspace page, yes Myspace, and I was so excited for a new Linkin Park track, and I could not have been more disappointed. I knew that was the end for anything new from them that I may end up liking.
• I just kind of shrugged when I heard there'd be a new Linkin Park album released because I knew it wouldn't come close to what they used to be. And maybe they have gone back to their roots, I wouldn't know, I don't listen to them as often as I used to.
• Just stop Chester, it's time to let it go. Maybe start a solo career? (if not already), Mike Shinoda did it. I think it worked.

Lol I don't know why I keep coming back to read this journal. It upsets me and I disagree with everything you say.

That's why you keep coming back.

What I find strange is the comment about Bon Scott and AC/DC, at first I thought I read it wrong, but alas no. Bon Scott was AC/DC, listening to AC/DC without Bon Scott is like drinking tea without milk (tastes crap) The band obviously agreed as they got a ready made replacement straight after he passed away.

Luckily Ki lives a long way from me, because I'd string him up by the balls or anything else for bad mouthing Dio:)

Ok you really really really lost me here. Really.



Really.

@US: I didn't bad mouth Dio, I bad mouthed Dio-Sabbath. I think Dio is a fantastic vocalist...for Rainbow.

@DJ: its OK to disagree, since we don't have the same taste. Actually, it makes sense to disagree.

@Paul: I imagined I'd lose a lot of people with my comments on Bon Scott. I just don't think he was good. Even if he was the original vocalist. Being original doesn't necessarily make you good.

Ki have you heard Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap? Miles beyond Highway to Hell I tell you. You'll probably hate that too, it's just crazy to me if you think Brian is better than Bon. For what it's worth, Dirty Deeds is the only AC/DC album I revisit these days.

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Wow. Brian over Bon. That is so messed up I'm speechless.

Theocracy - Self Titled

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• For it being the first in their discog, it really doesn't show the potential of the band. They definitely grew after this.
• There isn't a single song I can take from this album that I even sort of like.
• Album art is kind of cool, but that's the only cool part.
• I wouldn't recommend this for both an introduction to the band or an introduction to the genre. Mirror of Souls and As The World Bleeds really make this the weakest album in the discog.

Asia - XXX (but Ki, you raved about this album so much in your other journal)

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ront_cover.jpg

• It took me longer than necessary to realize how bad this album is.
• In comparison to the rest of their catalog, this one is by far their worst, it has no traditional Asia sound to it.
• I do wish I had realized it sooner but I believe I was still in my younger Asia loving days when I first heard this album, because it was of course when I figured any Asia album would be good.
• You were right Trollheart, this album sucks.

Fair enough but style wise Black Sabbath with Dio are just a continuation of what Dio was doing with Rainbow on Long Live Rock 'n' Roll. What exactly don't you like about Dio being with Sabbath, is it the abandonment of the old Sabbath style with Ozzy?

It's usually regarded as one of the best albums in the Bon era but I always thought that it was a poor album and I doubt Ki would like it anyway. There's actually a lot of people out there that prefer Brian to Bon, so Ki's statement it's not that surprising really.



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I prefer AC/DC without sound, personally.

I grew up listening to Black Sabbath with my dad and I always remember Ozzy being the main man, the cool dude, and whatever other ways you can describe it. It sort of became a thing where if anybody else took the lead in the band, it just wouldn't sit right with me. And thus, it just didn't work for me when I heard the Dio albums. I do wish it'd grow on me but I've given it enough chances to really do so and it just doesn't work.

Backstreet Boys - This Is Us
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...This_is_us.jpg

• Don't listen to this if you think you're going to hear the Backstreet Boys you grew up with.
• There's literally one song on the entire album that is really catchy.
• I saw them on this tour and they were fantastic, but this album really doesn't bring back the glory days of them.

I actually finally agree with something you said.

They should change their names to Backstreet Men that album just wasn't what I expected but then again I figured they would put out material on a more mature level. I just didn't expect it to be that weighed down in maturity.

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There's hope for you yet man! Straight up the worst ever album Asia recorded --- and I've listened to "Rare" all the way through! :thumb:

God Is An Astronaut - Origins

http://www.superadmusic.com/god/originsdiscog1.jpg

• "Oh hell yeah, God Is An Astronaut is releasing new material, this is going to be awesome!".....NOPE!
• I feel like this album was just a weird form of dubstep.
• Maybe i'm not used to them sounding like they do on this album, but it really didn't feel like a typical GIAA album.
• Luckily, I realized on my first listen that I may not like this album, so I haven't really wasted much time listening to it.
• Hoping their next is better.

Anathema - Weather Systems

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...er_Systems.jpg

• Constantly going back and forth about whether or not I like this album or not, the answer is pretty obvious.
• I think there are 2 maybe 3 tracks off the entire album that are worth a listen, the rest feels like filler.
• I thought it would be a true to art Anathema album, and I was really excited to hear it, but it left me with a feeling of underwhelming disappointment.
• There's an album coming out in 2014 by them, let's hope it's better.

Radiohead - OK Computer

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• Where is it? What am I supposed to find from this album? Where and when does it get good?
• There's this weird thing about Radiohead fans where they will say "Ok Computer" and "Kid A" are must listens, but they don't give reasoning. I'm happily giving reasoning as to why this album sucks.
• Am I going to say Thom Yorke? I may as well right? Fine. Thom Yorke. He's one reason on his own.
• Stop telling me to listen to this album. I have. I can't stand it. Can't stand Radiohead either.

The Beatles - "The White Album"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...eatles68LP.jpg

• Brace yourselves, Beatles fans raging at my front door will be showing up shortly.
• Double album? WHY
• Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love The Beatles. Have every album they released on my computer. But meh.
• I do like the simplicity of the album cover and the name, but it seems the simplicity was lost in both the amount of filler that is on this album as well as other small little details. like IT BEING A FREAKING DOUBLE ALBUM
• I honestly wouldn't have a problem with it had it just been a traditional album release with every song meaning something, this album is very similar to "The Wall" in the sense that it's just got a lot of unnecessary filler for no reason.
• I love a lot of tracks on it, but a lot out of A LOT isn't saying much.

[prepares for the hate]

You just put down two albums that are in my top ten. That not too bad. :clap:

Actually, I agree with a lot of what you say about the White Album. I even started a thread on the subject of trimming it to a single LP a while back. Definitely the weakest of the Big 5. It's an album of extremes: on one hand, Revolution 9, Bungalow Bill, etc, and on the other, While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Back in the USSR, Julia... If cut to a single disc, it easily becomes my favourite Beatles album.

You're not getting it from me, I understand what you mean. It's got some great tracks, but half of it consists of fillers. Wouldn't call it terrible, though.

I personally think it has only one bad track, that afwul#9, but then again maybe I'm too much into them to rate that album rationally.

I remember that thread. I think it'd definitely be a lot better if it were a single album.

I like to write these reviews with extremes. Whether or not I think the album deserves the hate i'm throwing at it, it's just fun to be really up front and personal about it :D I do put them in this journal though fully knowing that I don't like it, so I suppose it's not all that extreme.

I could listen to the album ten times in a row and there's no way i'd ever be able to say it has only one bad track. A few of them are cringe worthy, but that's for another day.

Agalloch - The Serpent & The Sphere

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ent_Sphere.jpg

• Songs didn't really mend together well, felt like just a bunch of random songs put together. Seems like after each track, it just cuts off suddenly, then goes to the next. No sense of merging or fading etc etc.
• No song really shined. I'm used to Agalloch making beautiful pieces like Falling Snow and the trio of Our Fortress Is Burning. This album didn't really have any of that.
• The album are is interesting, but i'm not entirely sure what's going on in the background through what seems to be a snake. Hence the album title I guess.
• Hoping to hear something in the future that brings back what I love about Agalloch, because this album just does not do it.

This Town Needs Guns - 13.0.0.0.0

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...8cover%29.jpeg

• The vocalist really doesn't do it for me, I wish they didn't replace Stuart Smith. A lot of the quality throughout the album Animals really did come from the vocals.
• Nothing particularly mind-blowing with the tracks, basically feels like a dumbed down version of Animals. I know I reference that album a bit, but it was their debut, and this is only the 2nd album of theirs.
• Maybe this a step in the right direction for what they want to create with their music, but I don't really see much success after this album, unless they go back to their roots.
• Not entirely sure why they chose the Maya Calendar as a theme for the album, as it really doesn't seem like you can take much from that and turn it into a music album, though I suppose someone had to do it.