The Poseur Cave

Isbjørn · 10-30-2013, 09:13 AM

Greetings, my friend.

So I decided to make a journal. That way I can write whatever I want to, when I want to. I might review some crap, I might not, we'll see. Maybe I'll take requests, too.

Anyway...

Trollheart · 10-30-2013, 01:39 PM

Always glad to see a new journal spring up, specially in these lean times! Though I think The Batlord might have a problem with RJD being on a journal entitled "The Poseur Cave"!

Welcome! I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Isbjørn · 10-30-2013, 03:10 PM

Some of you cool people may have noticed that I changed my profile picture to a tarantula. Why? Well, I was just browsing my Facebook wall with nothing better to do, and BOOM! Suddenly, a blue tarantula! And it was called a poecilotheria metallica. Metallica fans might get something more out of it, but dude. It's got "metallica" in its name, and everyone should be able to appreciate that. Oh, did I mention it's blue?

Dr_Rez · 10-30-2013, 08:10 PM

Not gonna lie I want this to succeed and you seem cool but I really hate spiders and dont think I will be coming back if picture of the things are everywhere.

Isbjørn · 10-31-2013, 01:20 PM

Don't worry. The Poseur Cave is poseur friendly and will not contain many more spiders.

Isbjørn · 10-31-2013, 03:30 PM

You know what that is? That's the Keeper of the Seven Keys Parts I & II Deluxe Expanded Edition. Awesome. Bought it yesterday, just in time for halloween. Haven't got time to listen to it yet, but my expectations are very high. I'm actually scared to listen to it, due to what is called the goatpenis phenomena. What I want to b*tch about is the cover art. I'd be fine with it if they had included the originals in the booklet or on the inside of the cover, but no. Also, the booklet has no lyrics. That makes me a sad poseur.

Unknown Soldier · 11-01-2013, 04:19 AM

Some of the best power metal albums ever recorded, especially pt.2

The Batlord · 11-01-2013, 12:02 PM

Yeah, unlike Goatpenis (I assume) Helloween will not disappoint you. Those two albums are fantastic.

Isbjørn · 11-08-2013, 12:17 PM

Paranoid vs Master of Reality

The big question in metal's now 43 year old history is “what is the finest album by Black Sabbath, the band who started it all?” I thought “hey, that's a perfect entry for the Poseur Cave journal”, and decided to bitch about it. Now, I must confess to only having heard these two albums, and merely bits of the others. That's cool though, since these two seem to be everyone's favourites, and therefore the ones most suitable for comparison.

Here goes...

They both have eight tracks, and that's perfect, because then I can do a side-by-side-ish comparison, starting at...

Track 1
“Boom!” goes the guitar in War Pigs opening riff, the start of an amazing song, one of the best on the album IMO. It's counterpart, Sweet Leaf is dedicated to marijuana. Well, it was 1971, what can you expect? Paranoid wins this one. Clearly.

Track 2
I'm not saying Paranoid is a bad song, but I do think it's a bad follow-up to War Pigs. It's pretty dull in comparison. Master of Reality wins this one just by keeping on track.

Track 3
Planet Caravan, and now we can't even see the track (you know, the one they went off) anymore. This would fit on a Pink Floyd album or something. Embryo is not much better, but I view it as an introduction of sorts to the next track, they're even merged together on the Live at Last album. Anyway, it's a tie, since none of the tracks fit in particularly well.

Track 4
Hard one. These are maybe the best tracks from each album (alright, War Pigs and Fairies Wear Boots are great competition). I choose Children of the Grave, it's my favourite Black Sabbath song and very powerful.

Track 5
I really want to give Orchid this one, but it's counterpart is Electric Funeral. Electric Funeral is so doomy it'd kill any flower, orchids included. Orchid could easily win against many other tracks, but it's not metal, for those who care.

Track 6
A standout track versus a not-so-outstanding track? Hmm, yeah. Lord of this World, definitely. Heavy and bluesy. Me like.

Track 7
Here's that space rock thing again. And an instrumental, but that's fine, because it wins. It's pretty cool, despite having no vocals. That drum solo or whatever it is really shouldn't be there, though.

Track 8
Oh. Uuuhm, yeah. Hard one. Fairies Wear Boots is one of my favourites, and so is Into the Void, yet the drug-trip thing can't beat the thick doom thing. That means Into the Void wins.

Paranoid gets three points, Master of Reality gets four. That means the latter wins, but only just (though it should get bonus points for the album cover).

Isbjørn · 11-11-2013, 02:10 PM

Keeper of the Seven Keys

A lesson I learned recently: when a true headbanger says something is good, it must be. At least that's the case with Keeper of the Seven Keys. After acquiring some balls, I sat down and listened to it, something I had hesitated with because I thought I'd be disappointed by it not being so nut-crushingly marvellous as I thought it'd be. But it was.

As the introduction track in Part I slowly built up tension, so did my heartbeat. It had very high promises about what would come next. “Boom!” it said, and a magic harmonized riff possessed me, leaving me in a trance one only can experience from listening to True Metal at the correct volume. Awesome. Rockin' on to track four, and it takes off completely. Dude. That's one happy opening riff. And dude. The rest of the song. The pre-chorus, the chorus, everything is so... perfect. But then there is one problem. Not about the song. That song is pretty great. But the song that follows it... it's a ballad, and it's in the middle of my metal! It's not bad. It just... doesn't belong, you know? Well, never mind. "Future World" kind of makes up for it. It was one of the first Helloween songs I heard, and one of the first power metal tracks I heard, too. There should be more of the like. I wouldn't mind if every song on an album sounded like "Future World", or even if every song on an album was "Future World". I would mind every song sounding like "Halloween", though. It's just too long. I'm glad there's Part II too, because "Follow the Sign" is pretty much nothing but a transition between the parts.

Moving on to Part II, and man, I love this intro. It's so happy, there's an eagle in it, and it fades perfectly into... "Eagle Fly Free". It seems to really strengthen the impact of it. And "Eagle Fly Free" is an amazing song. Shame on you if you haven't heard it. You should put your head in a public toilet. Yes, now. And then go listen to it. But take a shower first. Wouldn't want to pollute the Metal with your poop stench, huh? Then move on to the next song. It's pretty good too. Well, not as good as "Eagle Fly Free", but it gets the job done, you know? At least it's better then the one that follows. I think it's a filler, and it's not very funny either. It should learn from "Dr. Stein", that's a pretty good song, but almost every song is good on this album, in my opinion. Except for "Rise and Fall". I like "March of Time", but I'm a little embarrassed to say that, since it utilizes an overused chord progression in the chorus, though I guess I shouldn't care, I'm too young. Besides, it's power metal, cheesiness is included. The epic on this part ("Keeper of the Seven Keys") is much better than "Halloween" from Part I. It has the storyline of the albums, I like the intro, and I don't really know what else.

The Batlord and Unknown Soldier were right, these albums are truly amazing, but Part II is slightly better. I want to hear more like this, but I'm afraid that their other albums aren't as good... how can you follow up this?

10-30-2013, 09:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
Isbjørn cooler commie than elph Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: In a hole, help Posts: 2,811	The Poseur Cave Greetings, my friend. So I decided to make a journal. That way I can write whatever I want to, when I want to. I might review some crap, I might not, we'll see. Maybe I'll take requests, too. Anyway... __________________ fast(ml) Hear me play the guitar Look, mom! I got a journal

10-30-2013, 01:39 PM	#2 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	Always glad to see a new journal spring up, specially in these lean times! Though I think The Batlord might have a problem with RJD being on a journal entitled "The Poseur Cave"! Welcome! I look forward to hearing your thoughts. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

10-30-2013, 03:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
Isbjørn cooler commie than elph Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: In a hole, help Posts: 2,811	Some of you cool people may have noticed that I changed my profile picture to a tarantula. Why? Well, I was just browsing my Facebook wall with nothing better to do, and BOOM! Suddenly, a blue tarantula! And it was called a poecilotheria metallica. Metallica fans might get something more out of it, but dude. It's got "metallica" in its name, and everyone should be able to appreciate that. Oh, did I mention it's blue? __________________ fast(ml) Hear me play the guitar Look, mom! I got a journal

10-30-2013, 08:10 PM	#4 (permalink)
Dr_Rez Registered Jimmy Rustler Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: USA Posts: 5,360	Not gonna lie I want this to succeed and you seem cool but I really hate spiders and dont think I will be coming back if picture of the things are everywhere. __________________ Best chance of losing virginity is in prison crew Always Checks Credentials Crew nba > nfl crew Shave one of my legs to pretend its a girl in my bed crew

10-31-2013, 01:20 PM	#5 (permalink)
Isbjørn cooler commie than elph Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: In a hole, help Posts: 2,811	Don't worry. The Poseur Cave is poseur friendly and will not contain many more spiders. __________________ fast(ml) Hear me play the guitar Look, mom! I got a journal

10-31-2013, 03:30 PM	#6 (permalink)
Isbjørn cooler commie than elph Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: In a hole, help Posts: 2,811	You know what that is? That's the Keeper of the Seven Keys Parts I & II Deluxe Expanded Edition. Awesome. Bought it yesterday, just in time for halloween. Haven't got time to listen to it yet, but my expectations are very high. I'm actually scared to listen to it, due to what is called the goatpenis phenomena. What I want to b*tch about is the cover art. I'd be fine with it if they had included the originals in the booklet or on the inside of the cover, but no. Also, the booklet has no lyrics. That makes me a sad poseur. __________________ fast(ml) Hear me play the guitar Look, mom! I got a journal

11-08-2013, 12:17 PM	#9 (permalink)
Isbjørn cooler commie than elph Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: In a hole, help Posts: 2,811	**Paranoid vs Master of Reality The big question in metal's now 43 year old history is “what is the finest album by Black Sabbath, the band who started it all?” I thought “hey, that's a perfect entry for the Poseur Cave journal”, and decided to bitch about it. Now, I must confess to only having heard these two albums, and merely bits of the others. That's cool though, since these two seem to be everyone's favourites, and therefore the ones most suitable for comparison. Here goes... They both have eight tracks, and that's perfect, because then I can do a side-by-side-ish comparison, starting at... Track 1** “Boom!” goes the guitar in War Pigs opening riff, the start of an amazing song, one of the best on the album IMO. It's counterpart, Sweet Leaf is dedicated to marijuana. Well, it was 1971, what can you expect? Paranoid wins this one. Clearly. Track 2 I'm not saying Paranoid is a bad song, but I do think it's a bad follow-up to War Pigs. It's pretty dull in comparison. Master of Reality wins this one just by keeping on track. Track 3 Planet Caravan, and now we can't even see the track (you know, the one they went off) anymore. This would fit on a Pink Floyd album or something. Embryo is not much better, but I view it as an introduction of sorts to the next track, they're even merged together on the Live at Last album. Anyway, it's a tie, since none of the tracks fit in particularly well. Track 4 Hard one. These are maybe the best tracks from each album (alright, War Pigs and Fairies Wear Boots are great competition). I choose Children of the Grave, it's my favourite Black Sabbath song and very powerful. Track 5 I really want to give Orchid this one, but it's counterpart is Electric Funeral. Electric Funeral is so doomy it'd kill any flower, orchids included. Orchid could easily win against many other tracks, but it's not metal, for those who care. Track 6 A standout track versus a not-so-outstanding track? Hmm, yeah. Lord of this World, definitely. Heavy and bluesy. Me like. Track 7 Here's that space rock thing again. And an instrumental, but that's fine, because it wins. It's pretty cool, despite having no vocals. That drum solo or whatever it is really shouldn't be there, though. Track 8 Oh. Uuuhm, yeah. Hard one. Fairies Wear Boots is one of my favourites, and so is Into the Void, yet the drug-trip thing can't beat the thick doom thing. That means Into the Void wins. Paranoid gets three points, Master of Reality gets four. That means the latter wins, but only just (though it should get bonus points for the album cover). __________________ fast(ml) Hear me play the guitar Look, mom! I got a journal

11-11-2013, 02:10 PM	#10 (permalink)
Isbjørn cooler commie than elph Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: In a hole, help Posts: 2,811	*Keeper of the Seven Keys* A lesson I learned recently: when a true headbanger says something is good, it must be. At least that's the case with Keeper of the Seven Keys. After acquiring some balls, I sat down and listened to it, something I had hesitated with because I thought I'd be disappointed by it not being so nut-crushingly marvellous as I thought it'd be. But it was. As the introduction track in Part I slowly built up tension, so did my heartbeat. It had very high promises about what would come next. “Boom!” it said, and a magic harmonized riff possessed me, leaving me in a trance one only can experience from listening to True Metal at the correct volume. Awesome. Rockin' on to track four, and it takes off completely. Dude. That's one happy opening riff. And dude. The rest of the song. The pre-chorus, the chorus, everything is so... perfect. But then there is one problem. Not about the song. That song is pretty great. But the song that follows it... it's a ballad, and it's in the middle of my metal! It's not bad. It just... doesn't belong, you know? Well, never mind. "Future World" kind of makes up for it. It was one of the first Helloween songs I heard, and one of the first power metal tracks I heard, too. There should be more of the like. I wouldn't mind if every song on an album sounded like "Future World", or even if every song on an album was "Future World". I would mind every song sounding like "Halloween", though. It's just too long. I'm glad there's Part II too, because "Follow the Sign" is pretty much nothing but a transition between the parts. Moving on to Part II, and man, I love this intro. It's so happy, there's an eagle in it, and it fades perfectly into... "Eagle Fly Free". It seems to really strengthen the impact of it. And "Eagle Fly Free" is an amazing song. Shame on you if you haven't heard it. You should put your head in a public toilet. Yes, now. And then go listen to it. But take a shower first. Wouldn't want to pollute the Metal with your poop stench, huh? Then move on to the next song. It's pretty good too. Well, not as good as "Eagle Fly Free", but it gets the job done, you know? At least it's better then the one that follows. I think it's a filler, and it's not very funny either. It should learn from "Dr. Stein", that's a pretty good song, but almost every song is good on this album, in my opinion. Except for "Rise and Fall". I like "March of Time", but I'm a little embarrassed to say that, since it utilizes an overused chord progression in the chorus, though I guess I shouldn't care, I'm too young. Besides, it's power metal, cheesiness is included. The epic on this part ("Keeper of the Seven Keys") is much better than "Halloween" from Part I. It has the storyline of the albums, I like the intro, and I don't really know what else. The Batlord and Unknown Soldier were right, these albums are truly amazing, but Part II is slightly better. I want to hear more like this, but I'm afraid that their other albums aren't as good... how can you follow up this? __________________ fast(ml) Hear me play the guitar Look, mom! I got a journal