11-02-2014, 12:43 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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cooler commie than elph
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: In a hole, help
Posts: 2,811
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Beware: there will be spoilers
But the movie's been out for 10 years, so 2bad4u
Title: Van Helsing
Director: Stephen Sommers
Year: 2004
Genre: Action/fantasy/gothic horror
- I only watched this because one of my best friends had been hyping it up and mentioned it every time we talked about anything horror-related.
- This is the first time I talk about a movie in this journal. I think. I'm only featuring it because I'm slighly pissed.
- Sooo... Dracula meets Frankenstein. This prevented me from taking the movie seriously from the very beginning.
- The visual effects are alright, but they're used way too excessively.
- There's supposed to be a decent plot in there, but I can't find it. The movie just gets dumber as it goes.
- Vampires don't procreate by laying giant, disgusting slime egg... things. They bite people.
- The only way to kill a vampire isn't a goddamn werewolf.
- And OMGWHYDIDYOUKILLVICTORFRANKENSTEIN
- Moaning about Sharknado is cool, right? Or was that last year? Anyway, that was a campy B-horror flick that I kind of enjoyed watching because it wasn't meant to be taken seriously in any way. It's called "Sharknado". This movie just soils the name of Dracula.
- I'm going to be generous with with my rating, since it did grant me a couple of laughs:
1/5, which, in my RYM rating system, is "getting kicked in the crotch by a Nazi".
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