The Poseur Cave

Isbjørn · 03-18-2014, 01:21 PM

Chunks of metal: glam metal

Artist: Bon Jovi
Album: Slippery When Wet
Year: 1986
Chronological position: Third album
Genre: Hard rock/glam metal
Expectations before listening: The bad kind of cheese

Quote:

Originally Posted by Me, about 50 minutes ago

**** it, now I have Bon Jovi on my last.fm

Bon Jovi is among those bands I try to avoid because my first impressions were really, really bad. If we hadn't selected this in our little club, I simply wouldn't have listened to it, unless it was some sort of new JB week challenge.

Why don't I like Bon Jovi? Their lyrics are cliched and dull, their songs are overly repetitive, and those synthesizers sound like they inspired Mylo Xyloto by Coldplay. That album had some bad synthesizers. Maybe I'd enjoy Bon Jovi if I was above legal age for drinking, drunk, and at a concert full of sweaty people with much hair and little clothes. Unfortunately, I'm not.

2/5

Tristesse · 03-18-2014, 01:47 PM

I heard Slippery When Wet for the first time when I was about 13, and I adored it for about a year. Then I grew up and started taking an actual interest in music and realised it was a bit crap really.

The hits (You Give Love A Bad Name, Livin' On A Prayer and (to some extent) Wanted Dead Or Alive) are good and I still enjoy listening to them, but the remainder of the songs are just poor fillers and aren't worth listening to at all.

The Batlord · 03-18-2014, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Briks

Briks tries Doom Metal

Well, despite recently saying that one or two sections were enough for me, I'm now opening another one. This time it's about doom metal, a genre I decided to delve further into after hearing some Candlemass. Carpe Mortem and Batty recommended seven bands in the “What Are You listening To V.III Metal!” thread, and I decided that it was enough for a whole new section. Well, it might get short-lived, but if I like this, I'll probably check out some more bands and write about them. In fact, I'm starting off with one that wasn't recommended, but still caught my interest:

I wonder why, ya perv.

Quote:

Artist: Witchfinder General
Album: Death Penalty
Year: 1982
Chronological position: Debut album
Genre: Traditional doom metal/NWOBHM

Before listening:

I have not heard much about this band, other than that Wikipedia says it was a major influence on the doom metal scene, and that it was part of the late New Wave of British Heavy Metal. Based on the NWOBHM part, I suppose that this album will have a little more raw production than the other doom I've heard so far, and because of the year it was released, I assume that it will not sound as developed as Candlemass, but more like Black Sabbath.

After listening:

I don't know all that many NWOBHM bands, but this sounds like NWOBHM to me. The production is pretty raw, but even though it's unpolished it's not grinding on my ears. The vocalist doesn't seem to have a great range, but still pulls it off, reminding me of Vince Neil or Ozzy Osbourne. The latter is appropriate, because these guys surely have been listening to a lot of Sabbath. The music isn't as slow as I expected; I thought it would sound sort of like the title track on Black Sabbath's self-titled. The lyrics aren't as doomy and depressing as I thought, either. Instead, they're about sex, drugs and witch burnings. I quite liked this, and I'll probably listen to it again.

4/5

Love that album. Yeah, it's definitely more Sabbath than a lot of other, later doom bands. But back then doom metal didn't exist. The only band that had really picked up with what Sabbath was doing was Sabbath. So Witchfinder General were were more like a tribute band than anything else. I guess they may have evolved the sound a tiny bit, but from what I understand their place of honor in doom circles is mostly due to being the only band since Sabbath to have done that kind of sound, and I suppose they influenced other bands just because of that.

Trollheart · 03-18-2014, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristesse

I heard Slippery When Wet for the first time when I was about 13, and I adored it for about a year. Then I grew up and started taking an actual interest in music and realised it was a bit crap really.

The hits (You Give Love A Bad Name, Livin' On A Prayer and (to some extent) Wanted Dead Or Alive) are good and I still enjoy listening to them, but the remainder of the songs are just poor fillers and aren't worth listening to at all.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Briks

Chunks of metal: glam metal

Artist: Bon Jovi
Album: Slippery When Wet
Year: 1986
Chronological position: Third album
Genre: Hard rock/glam metal
Expectations before listening: The bad kind of cheese

Bon Jovi is among those bands I try to avoid because my first impressions were really, really bad. If we hadn't selected this in our little club, I simply wouldn't have listened to it, unless it was some sort of new JB week challenge.

Why don't I like Bon Jovi? Their lyrics are cliched and dull, their songs are overly repetitive, and those synthesizers sound like they inspired Mylo Xyloto by Coldplay. That album had some bad synthesizers. Maybe I'd enjoy Bon Jovi if I was above legal age for drinking, drunk, and at a concert full of sweaty people with much hair and little clothes. Unfortunately, I'm not.

2/5

BOO to you both! Bon Jovi roolz! Seriously, I think that album is excellent and won't have a bad word said about it. From "Let it rock" to "Wild in the streets" I enjoy every single moment. Hell, maybe I'm just old. No maybe about it. But talk **** about Bon Jovi again and I'll meet you at dawn where we can select our weapons and sort this out once and for all.

Do.
I.
Make.
Myself.
Absolutely.
Crystal.
****ing.
Clear??

Taxman · 03-19-2014, 12:31 AM

Bon Jovi makes me vomit. Nearly as disgusting as Phil Collins and that's saying a lot.

Isbjørn · 03-19-2014, 01:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

BOO to you both! Bon Jovi roolz! Seriously, I think that album is excellent and won't have a bad word said about it. From "Let it rock" to "Wild in the streets" I enjoy every single moment. Hell, maybe I'm just old. No maybe about it. But talk **** about Bon Jovi again and I'll meet you at dawn where we can select our weapons and sort this out once and for all.

Do.
I.
Make.
Myself.
Absolutely.
Crystal.
****ing.
Clear??

An axe is my weapon of choice, of course

Tristesse · 03-19-2014, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

BOO to you both! Bon Jovi roolz! Seriously, I think that album is excellent and won't have a bad word said about it. From "Let it rock" to "Wild in the streets" I enjoy every single moment. Hell, maybe I'm just old. No maybe about it. But talk **** about Bon Jovi again and I'll meet you at dawn where we can select our weapons and sort this out once and for all.

Do.
I.
Make.
Myself.
Absolutely.
Crystal.
****ing.
Clear??

Even 'Social Disease'? Seriously?

Isbjørn · 03-19-2014, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tristesse

Even 'Social Disease'? Seriously?

Yes. Sorry.
Moving on...

Chunks of metal: heavy metal

Artist: Ozzy Osbourne
Album: Blizzard of Ozz
Year: 1980
Chronological position: First solo album
Genre: Heavy metal
Expectations before listening: Annoying vocals that don't go well with the music

I read Unknown Soldier's review of this album, so this may be a bit coloured, but I'll try to make it as much my opinion as possible. I thought selecting this album would be appropriate since it sparked some discussion in his journal, you know, why shouldn't I join in?

This was my first time hearing solo Ozzy, apart from a couple of songs. What can I say? I prefer Black Sabbath, by far. I know it's meant to be different, but it's a change for the worse, in my opinion. Ozzy has a fairly limited vocal range, and his voice does not fit with the excellent guitar riffs of Randy Rhoads; he's not the right type of vocalist. I also think his singing is pretty dull at times, you know, lacking expression. In the part of "Sabbath Bloody Sabbath" that starts at around 3:19 (please PM me if you know what the professionals would call it), his vocals are great. Why did he give that up? I wonder what it would sound like if Dio sang in “Mr. Crowley”, instead. I feel that he would be an appropriate vocalist. Then there's the keyboards. Why couldn't they just leave them out? They sound terrible, and ruin everything, in my opinion. The ones at the start of “Mr. Crowley” sort of resemble an organ, but not quite. I think all of the keyboards on the album should be replaced by an organ, surely Ozzy could afford a Hammond or something.

Tl;dr version: Good riffs, good solos, bad vocals, bad keyboards, okay album.

3/5

Isbjørn · 03-20-2014, 11:06 AM

Chunks of metal: death metal

Artist: Amon Amarth
Album: Twilight of the Thunder God
Year: 2008
Chronological position: Seventh album
Genre: Melodic death metal
Expectations before listening: Commercialized, watered-down death metal

This was chosen by one of the others in the album club, who just joined earlier this week. He's really digging Amon Amarth. Prior to this, I had heard... one song of theirs, I think? I didn't take much note of it, thus I didn't really know what to expect before listening. Therefore, I just assumed that this would sound much more commercialized and kind of like, say, In Flames. I must say, I was positively surprised. It's very melodic, but it doesn't sound as if it was written for radio, and the growls are tolerable. Still, I think it gets a little too much of the same at times, but maybe that's just a weakness of the subgenre, what do I know. Decent album.

3.5/5

The Batlord · 03-20-2014, 11:56 AM

I love certain Amon Amarth songs, but I bought Versus the World a while back, and while, again, certain songs have my soul, a lot of the rest are just kind of dull. I'd love to love a band that sings of nothing but Vikings, but I think they will forever be patchy to me.

03-19-2014, 12:31 AM	#125 (permalink)
Taxman watching the wheels Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: Finland Posts: 470	Bon Jovi makes me vomit. Nearly as disgusting as Phil Collins and that's saying a lot. __________________ ...

03-20-2014, 11:06 AM	#129 (permalink)
Isbjørn cooler commie than elph Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: In a hole, help Posts: 2,811	Chunks of metal: death metal Artist: Amon Amarth Album: Twilight of the Thunder God Year: 2008 Chronological position: Seventh album Genre: Melodic death metal Expectations before listening: Commercialized, watered-down death metal This was chosen by one of the others in the album club, who just joined earlier this week. He's really digging Amon Amarth. Prior to this, I had heard... one song of theirs, I think? I didn't take much note of it, thus I didn't really know what to expect before listening. Therefore, I just assumed that this would sound much more commercialized and kind of like, say, In Flames. I must say, I was positively surprised. It's very melodic, but it doesn't sound as if it was written for radio, and the growls are tolerable. Still, I think it gets a little too much of the same at times, but maybe that's just a weakness of the subgenre, what do I know. Decent album. 3.5/5 __________________ fast(ml) Hear me play the guitar Look, mom! I got a journal