Trollheart

And so, the latest result of my pathetic endeavours. Yes, it's time once again to reveal the Score of Shame...

1. Asleep at the wheel
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 20% (Sort of anyway)
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 50%

2. Himalayan
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

3. Hoochie coochie
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

4. Cold sweat
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

5. Nightmares
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

6. Brothers and sisters
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 20%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 50%

7. I guess I know you fairly well
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

8. You are all that I am not
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

[B]9. I feel like ten men .. you know the one[/B
]Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%
10. Toreador
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 30%Subject: 20%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 50%

11. Heaven's key
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

12. Get yourself together
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 20%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 50%

Making a final total then of 200 divide by 12 = 17% approx! An serious disimprovement on my last one but very slightly higher than the first one! Overall though I did really poorly on this, but then, what else did you expect?

As for the album, generally speaking I was pretty impressed by it. The first time I had ever listened to Band of Skulls, and while I wouldn't necessarily actively seek out their material again, I don't think I'd be averse to hearing more. An interesting mix of sounds, and a fairly decent album overall.

So then, for the next while you'll have to look elsewhere to get your laughs. I'm done here for a few weeks at least. Lots of other work to do, though it was nice to jump out of my comfort zone again and unwind with a little harmless self-deprecatory fun. Never any harm in that.

Until our paths cross again then:

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

This time out I’ve chosen a Country album under probably the mistaken impression that Country will be easier to predict, as it’s usually so, well, predictable. Probably make an even bigger mess of this than I usually do, but sure it’s all in fun, y’know?

I actually have an album from this band but have not yet listened to it, so I still will have no forewarning as to how they sound. I’ll obviously be throwing in some standard Country sterotypes (gotta be a steel guitar in there somewhere, surely?) which may make the end result even more hilarious, and as Arnold Rimmer once said, brimming over with wrongability!


Love and other tragedies --- Red Molly --- 2008

And now I find they’re not a Country outfit but a folk one. Oh well. Probably gonna make a mess of it either way. So what have we got? It’s their debut album, of which they now have five. Red Molly are Laurie McAllister, Abbie Gardner and Molly Venter. Surprisingly, the band name is NOT based on hers, but on a character in a song by Richard Thompson.

But you don’t care about all this! You want to see me make a fool of myself, and who am I not to oblige? So let’s see how (in)accurate my predictions will be this time around.

Wichita: I feel this may be an acapella song, as all three appear to take vocal duties. If it is, then I have nothing more to say other than it should be a slow song. As soon as I hear any instrument I’ll know how wrong I am. Lyric? Oh, I don’t know, let’s see, wild guess --- about Wichita Kansas? I’m not even going to accept a score if that turns out to be correct as it’s so blindingly obvious, but it would be funny if I’m wrong even about that.

Beaumont rest stop: A slowish to mid-paced (stop cheating, TH!) acoustic number with fiddle and maybe flute. I don’t know if they play fiddle or flute, as I have only glanced very basically at their quite scanty Wiki page, but that’s what I hear. Also a piano, a slow one. Acoustic of course. Lyric: about a little truck stop or cafe in the middle of nowhere: “Take your ease at the Beaumont rest stop”, style of thing...

The mind of a soldier: Given that this is recorded in 2008 I wonder if it has to do with the Iraq War? Well it could go either way musically but I feel another slow acoustic on guitar, pedal steel and piano, with maybe violin and/or harmonica. Lyrically it could be praising the troops or decrying the need for war a la Dixie Chicks. I'm gonna go for the former, given the reception the three Texan ladies got after making their views plain in 2003.

Summertime: I know Red Molly do some covers, and I can’t really see anyone writing a new song with that title so I’m going to go for a cover of the classic, my all-time favourite song ever. Musically? Piano and violin, cello and double bass. Sure why not? Slow, obviously.

Is the blue moon still shining? I hear again an acapella trio opening but then it hits into an uptempo bluegrass number, with fiddle and electric guitar, accordion and it’s about, um, a place that was important in the singer’s past. Sort of like how are things at home?

Honey on my grave: Sheesh! Could be anything. Given the grave motif I’ll say a slow bluesy number, smoking with revenge and recrimination --- “When I’m dead will you come to pour honey on my grave? --- Hey, gimme a break! It could be! Performed on violin and dobro. And piano. Maybe.

Old dancin’ fool: Squaredance jamboree style, fast and uptempo with steel guitar and fiddle. Lyric concerns some old guy who still thinks he’s a young man and won’t accept old age. Or maybe it’s a husband-and-wife thing: “Dance with me, you old dancin’ fool.” Meh, I don’t know.

Sentimental gentleman from Georgia: Hmm. This is getting harder. A mid-paced acoustic with guitar and piano, about, oh I don’t know --- a sentimental gentleman from Georgia?

Wayfaring stranger: Probably way off here (why break a perfect losing run?) but I’m gonna say this is a cover of Strawfoot’s song, with a triple chorus and fiddles and banjos.

This farm needs a man: Uptempo bluegrass tune on fiddle and pedal steel, guitar and pianner with a lyric concerning a lonely widow who needs a new husband.

Make me lonely again: Ballad on pedal steel, acoustic and piano. Simple love song. I have no idea what the title might mean.

Keep your lamp trimmed and burning: An uptempo “I’ve been away/have to go away but I’ll be back” song. Hearty fiddle and guitar, jew’s harp and organ.

May I suggest: Closer, so slow pedal-steel-led ballad, with accordion and harmonica. And piano. The title may refer to a candlelit dinner, but probably not. Or some romantic activity?

So there we have it. Tomorrow I’ll listen to the album and report back on how wrong I got this, what the tracks really are like and how very little I know about folk, bluegrass and Country music.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Another day, another embarrassing failure. Let’s see if I got any even partway right.

Wichita: Well it sure ain’t acapella!Not only that, but it’s a fast song, not a slow one. Oh, and it’s about Wichita, of course. Who woulda thunk it?

Beaumont rest stop: Weellllll… it’s kind of mid-paced, yes, and there is fiddle there somewhere, though I have yet to hear a flute. I don’t think I got the subject right though: seems more about a bus stop than a cafe.

Mind of a soldier: Hey! Slow acoustic song. One thumb up. Guitar and pedal steel in there, don’t hear a piano yet. Subject totally off base though. Nice idea: “I don’t claim to know the mind of a soldier/ But I once knew the heart of a man.” There’s a violin, so doing ok on this one. If we were to get harmonica now I’d have a pretty good score. No, no harmonica. Oh well.

Summertime: Nah, not the classic, damn it. Also it’s uptempo. I got nothin’ here.

Is the blue moon still shining? Well it may be, but not on me. An uptempo bluegrass number? Ah, not quite. Slow, acoustic guitar piece with a sort of a watzy swing to it. Lyrically, I don’t think I quite nailed it either. Another fail. No acapella opening, no accordion, no fiddle and no electric gee-tar. Shee-oot!

Honey on my grave: Lyrically, this one was incredibly hard for me to even guess at, and amazingly I got it right! The lyric is almost word for word! Holy crap! It’s more an uptempo song with guitar and dobro rather than violin, but hey: I did good!

Old dancin’ fool: Wasn’t sure about the subject matter here, but it sure ain’t uptempo. Couldn’t be more opposite. Sure, who would expect to get two right in a row, even partially? Fiddle’s there all right, don’t hear steel guitar but I hold out hope. My second guess at the lyric was relatively spot-on oh and there’s the steel guitar! Woo-hoo!

Sentimental gentleman from Georgia: Now this one I had no clue about, so I won’t be in the least surprised to find I got it totally wrong. As I did. No mid-paced track, it’s a high-tempo bluegrass with banjo and double bass. Total fail, as expected. I must say, a terrible song. Terrible.

Wayfaring stranger: Holy crap! This sounds like it IS Strawfoot’s song! It bloody is! AND it’s slow, don’t hear fiddles or banjos --- ooh wait! There’s my fiddle just there. And that could be a banjo. Yeah, I am claiming this as a total success! Gotta take ‘em where you can!

This farm needs a man: And back to Earth with a bang we come! Well not completely. The tempo is wrong; more mid-paced and not bluegrass really, but the lyric is correct. Guitar and pedal steel, yes, fiddle not yet. No I don’t think there’s going to be any, or is that one just at the end? Yes! Woo-hoo!

Make me lonely again: I had no idea what the lyric would be, but it’s a ballad on acoustic guitar and pedal steel, the lyric actually quite clever: “If this is what love is, make me lonely again.” Lovely song. I think I can accept now that there will be no piano on this album. Guess Red Molly don’t use it.

Keep your lamp trimmed and burning: Uptempo as I thought (though it didn’t start that way), kind of gospel in tone, with banjo and guitar though no fiddle yet and I assume no organ. Jew’s harp? Meh. Doubtful but you never know. Lyric was totally wrong though: more a “keep faith in the Lord” type of song, Oh well.

May I suggest: Typical! The first time it’s acapella and I didn’t guess it would be. Also a three-voice acapella. Great closer though, just a pity yiz couldn’t have done this on earlier songs, ladies!

Well in the end I think I did a whole lot better than I had expected to. Tomorrow I’ll post the breakdown of the score and we’ll see how well, or how badly, my attempt turned out.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Here’s how the score breaks down then. I don’t think there were any specifics I can point to, so most if not all of those will be zero percent, but let’s see how I did on the others.


1. Wichita
Main instrument: 0% (Have to award zero, as I was expecting no instruments --- acapella --- and there are of course some)
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0% (This was too easy so not applicable)
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

2. Beaumont rest stop
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 30%

3. Mind of a soldier
Main instrument: 20%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 50%

4. Summertime
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

5. Is the blue moon still shining?
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

6. Honey on my grave
Main instrument: 20%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 20%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 40%

7. Old dancin’ fool
Main instrument: 20%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 20%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 40%

8. Sentimental gentleman from Georgia
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 0%

9. Wayfaring stranger
Main instrument: 20%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 20%
Specifics: 20%
TOTAL: 100% (First ever? I awarded the extra ten percent because I got everything about this correct, for once)


10. This farm needs a man
Main instrument: 20%
Tempo: 0%
Subject: 20%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 40%

11. Make me lonely again
Main instrument: 20%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 50%

12. Keep your lamp trimmed and burning
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 0%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 30%

13. May I suggest
Main instrument: 0%
Tempo: 30%
Subject: 20%
Specifics: 0%
TOTAL: 50%

Making a final total then of 430 divide by 13 = 33% approx! This could be my best showing yet! Let me just check back … nah, got 46% for the Stumbeliene album. Still, better than my previous effort! I think I’ll go reward myself with a cream cake! With jam, of course…

Until you have the misfortune to lose your way and find yourself here again…

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Yeah! Bet you all thought I'd forgotten about this, huh? What? This journal. The one I haven't updated in ... the one where I predict ... look, just pretend you remember it, ok? I'm not paying you those big cheques for nothing you know! Speaking of which, the latest one might be a little late. Money's been tight recently and ... you know, let's talk about that later ok?

I haven't updated this journal in about a year, but that's not surprising, given all the other stuff I have going on. Nevertheless, I didn't want to let it die, as it is a good and original, if somewhat twisted idea. So who have I chosen to embarrass myself with this time out? How about these lads...

Clutching stems --- The Ladybug Transistor --- 2011 (Merge Records)

Apparently part of Elephant Six Collective (what?), The Ladybug Transistor have been around since 1995 and this is their seventh album. They're based out of Brooklyn, and the fact that I have never heard of them before will be, I'm sure, a surprise to nobody. So what's on the album? Or more to the point, what do I think it sounds like?

Note: if you're confused by the idea of this journal check the OP. I know it's been a while but I'm not going to keep explaining the premise every time. It should be fairly obvious anyway....

“Clutching stems”: We open on the title track, which I feel has a jangly, uptempo guitar sound to it, possibly some bouncy piano. Might be about hope, a variant of clutching at straws? Hard to say, but I reckon it's a relatively fast and upbeat song.

“Light on the narrow gauge”: From what I recall, narrow gauge refers to railways, so I'm going to say acoustic guitar, kind of slowish, folky sound, and I wouldn't be surprised if they threw in either the sounds of a train whistle or an engine puffing. The song is about the decline of the steam engine and the railways in the US. A somewhat obvious guess yes, but I'll probably be way off. Throw in some harmonica maybe.

“Fallen and falling”: Slow ballad on piano only. Typical song of unrequited or lost love.

“Ignore the bell”: Happy, uptempo on guitar and keys, maybe some brass. Song concerns not worrying about tomorrow and just enjoying yourself.

“Oh Christina”: Gonna take a chance and not go for the obvious here; this is not a ballad but an uptempo song on piano and guitar, throw in some sax, perhaps a solo, maybe a tambourine? Just a love song, perhaps speaking to the object of love the singer cannot attain? “Oh Christina, why do you treat me like this?” or similar in the lyric.

“Caught don't walk”: Again I'm taking a chance and going for this being an instrumental. It's based around synth and keys, guitar solo in the middle or somewhere anyway, brass and maybe even violin.

“Breaking up the beat”: Fast uptempo song on guitar mostly, with keys backing and harmonica. No idea what it's about.

“Into the straight”: Could be an instrumental but I'll go against that possibility and say a slow piano-driven song with guitar flourishes, though what it's about is anyone's guess.

“Hey Jack I'm on fire”: I just hear fast, rockabilly style guitar and a kind of jumping beat. Just a basic dance song, maybe "I'm on fire with love for you" or similar?

“Life less true”: A ballad on acoustic guitar and piano, with a sort of Country flavour to it. Maybe add some pedal steel. Song is about facing your responsibilities and not putting on airs. Maybe.

So those are my very uneducated guesses as to what this album will sound like. Tomorrow we'll see the truth of the matter, and find out how wrong I was.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Okay, so let's see:

Clutching stems: Well it's relatively uptempo, I hear guitar, but synth rather than piano; not sure what it's about but I think I might have guessed somewhat correctly. Maybe.

Light on the narrow gauge: Certainly not a slow, folky song, some acoustic guitar yes but not really the song I had expected, or guessed at. Singer reminds me of Lloyd Cole, as an aside. Doubt we're gonna get any train sounding paraphernalia here. Unlikely there'll be any harmonica either. Uptempo song, guitar-driven yes.

“Fallen and falling”: Organ rather than piano, uptempo rather than slow, ironically this one features more lyrics about trains that the previous one did! Unrequited love? I think so, yes.

“Ignore the bell”: Uptempo, guitar but not keys that I can hear. Basic idea seems to be there or thereabouts: life's too short etc.

“Oh Christina”: Seems like a folky, acoustic feel to it, with some ambient sounds but hey, then it kicks up and it is an upbeat song after all. Guitar again, trumpet rather than sax, but I'll take that.

“Caught don't walk”: Certainly some brass, piano driven with a nice guitar. Is it instrumental? No. Boo. I hear violin, I hear violin. Can that be taken as a guitar solo there? Hell I'm not above bending the circumstances in my favour once in a while: I need all the luck I can get!

“Breaking up on the beat”: (Oh, I got it wrong. Missed out a word. Now it makes sense, too late of course)... Relatively fast --- well, in fairness, let's not cheat too much: it's more midpaced than anything really --- guitar led, though there's trumpet in there, but there are also keys.

“Into the straight”: Totally wrong on this one. Fast song, organ driven. Bah. Good song though.

“Hey Jack I'm on fire”: Couldn't have been more off. Organ led again, not a rockabilly in sight. Urgh. (That's for my guess, not the song; it's pretty neat)

“Life less true”: No ballad this, no pedal steel. Just about as off as I could be.

Well, a bad ending but I think I caught the odd shot of dumb luck, or shrewdly predicted what some of the songs would be, depending on how you want to look at it. Tomorrow I'll post the scores, see how the actual figures look.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

So then, time to look at some specifics and see how badly I came out of this. Again.

Clutching at stems: Main instrument=20%
Tempo=30%
Subject=20%
Specifics=0%
Total=70%

Light on the narrow gauge: Main instrument=20%
Tempo=0%
Subject=0%
Specifics=0%
Total=20%

Fallen and falling: Main instrument=20%
Tempo=0%
Subject=20%
Specifics=0%
Total=40%

Ignore the bell: Main instrument=20%
Tempo=30%
Subject=20%
Specifics=0%
Total=70%

Oh Christina: Main instrument=20%
Tempo=30%
Subject=20%
Specifics=20%
Extra for guessing everything right = 10%
Total=100% !

Caught don't walk: Main instrument=20%
Tempo=30%
Subject=0%
Specifics=20%
Total=70%

Breaking up to the beat: Main instrument=20%
Tempo=30%
Subject=0%
Specifics=0%
Total=50%

Into the straight: Main instrument=0%
Tempo=0%
Subject=0%
Specifics=0%
Total=0%

Hey Jack I'm on fire: Main instrument=0%
Tempo=0%
Subject=0%
Specifics=0%
Total=0%

Life less true: Main instrument=0%
Tempo=0%
Subject=0%
Specifics=0%
Total=0%

So, some unexpectedly on the money, some expectedly way off base, with a final total then of 420. Interestingly, that's almost the same score as I got for the previous album. But that one had 13 tracks, this has ten, so 420 divide by 10 =42%, which gives me a much higher score track for track, and comes close to equalling my best score of 46%, still held by that Stumbeline record. Not bad though.

So, that's some minutes out of your life that you'll never get back! Until I next remember I have this journal and decide to update it,

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018