A Glimpse Inside The Mind of a Chameleon.

djchameleon · 11-11-2013, 10:51 PM

Razor’s Edge 9/10

Janelle Monáe - The Electric Lady

I love that this album kicks your face in and starts off with a strong start. Givin’ Em What They Love featuring Prince is just an awesome track. She pulls out the big guns on that first track. I’m not really going to go into the mythos behind Janelle’s concept story but I just want you guys to know that this album contains part 4 and 5 of her story and there should be two more parts or it is supposed to end at 7. Who knows if she will do another two parts on her next album or just focus on one part. The main reason I’m not breaking down the story is because I’m sure that I would do it a major disservice trying to explain it.

Spoiler for Prince Goodness:

Back to some of my favorite tracks then. Queen featuring Erykah Badu was one of the first singles that she released from this album and I love how during the breakdown she decides to rap for a little bit. Primetime with Miguel and We Were Rock and Roll are probably my two favorite tracks on the whole album though. She usually plows through ballads like a grizzly bear trying to perform a ballet routine but I think Miguel’s assistance on the track helped her along. She had a good dance partner.

Spoiler for Best Tracks:

Later on in the album, “It’s code” shows up and she sounds surprisingly like a young Michael Jackson on this track. Ghetto woman starts up and I feel like I’m on a cruise or something. It has a very loungy cruise ship vibe going on but I love it nonetheless. This is definitely one of those albums that I love and just feel the need to listen to from time to time. I do have to admit that near the end of the second half of the album those tracks seem to get a bit muddled and become very uninteresting.

Spoiler for The rest...:

djchameleon · 11-12-2013, 04:39 AM

Razor’s Edge 9/17

MGMT - MGMT

I’m going to keep this short and sweet. I pretty much didn’t like it. It reminded me that I have never listened to a MGMT album in its entirety. I wish I could go into more detail about why I hated it but I can’t. Alien Days is the first track and it is okay but everything after that. I just telling myself when is this going to be over. I definitely felt like I was torturing myself. This album left a really bad taste in my mouth and I’m hesitant to even listen to any of their other albums in their catalog. The singles that they produce are always catch and was what made me like MGMT but listening to a full album just tainted the magic.

djchameleon · 11-15-2013, 07:07 AM

Razor’s Edge 9/24

Chvrches - The Bones of What You Believe

I’m usually super wary about listening to indie pop darlings that are highly acclaimed. Whenever someone suggests to me an indie band I tend groan when I hear the song and the band has to work over time to impress me. I took an instant liking to Chvrches though. They were right up my alley as far as the electronic sound that they produce which is technically synth pop. The vocals of their lead singer(Lauren Mayberry) put me off for a bit but I got used to it. I appreciate her for what she did and how she contributes to the overall tone of different songs. Also, while I was listening to this album it felt like I was on a sugar high from eating too much Halloween candy. I enjoyed so much of the album that when I got near the end I was pretty tired of all of this goodness. Another issue I have with this album is that when they get around to slower songs they tend to be a real drag and end up being lackluster. I know everything doesn’t have to be up-tempo but they do tend to excel with songs that are up-tempo.

Spoiler for Synth Goodness:

djchameleon · 11-17-2013, 07:30 AM

Random Thoughts

Well, it has been a rough week for me. Exactly one week ago my mother was admitted to the hospital from her nursing home because she has Pneumonia. She also has MS and low white blood cell count. It is harder for her to fight off colds and flus. MS is a disease that attacks your central nervous system. It actually has your immune system attacking your own nervous system. Five years ago she had a stroke and while in the hospital some tests were done and they found out that she had MS as well. I dropped out of college to take care of her for a year or so before it became too overwhelming and I thought she would get better treatment in a nursing home. She can't communicate and is because trapped inside of her own body. Every time I went to the nursing home to visit her it always killed me that she was in that state. Can you imagine how that must feel to be stuck inside of your body and not be able to tell people how you are feeling or if you are in pain.

Fast Forward back to the present, I have gone to visit her every day in the hospital but her condition doesn't seem to be getting better. I'm holding out hope that she might be able to fight it but at the same time I have an ominous feeling. I haven't had a song hit me emotionally in awhile. I decided to listen to Kanye West's 808s and Heartbreaks two days ago and surprisingly it didn't do anything. I thought I would have been really connected to "Coldest Winter" but no dice. After listening to that I decided to go through Kanye's albums from the beginning enjoying ever minute of it until yesterday morning. I was on my way to open up the office and "Hey Mama" came on. I told myself that I'm so lucky that I'm wearing shades because it started raining on my face. Some idiot decided to cut up onions near me. The song touched me so much that my knees were weak and I almost just dropped to my knees and burst out into a full on cry fest. I had to push through the tears because I had five other people depending on me to open up the office and to run point for the day. I was running lead with getting everyone safely down to Harlem for a leadership meeting so I had to pull it together for the group. I had all the train tickets and the petty cash.

(Hey Mama), I wanna scream so loud for you, cause I'm so proud of you
Let me tell you what I'm about to do, (Hey Mama)
I know I act a fool but, I promise you I'm goin back to school
I appreciate what you allowed for me
I just want you to be proud of me (Hey Mama)

[Verse 1]
I wanna tell the whole world about a friend of mine
This little light of mine and I'm finna let it shine
I'm finna take yall back to them better times
I'm finna talk about my mama if yall don't mind
I was three years old, when you and I moved to the Chi
Late December, harsh winter gave me a cold
You fixed me up something that was good for my soul
Famous homemade chicken soup, can I have another bowl?
You work late nights just to keep on the lights
Mommy got me training wheels so I could keep on my bike
And you would give anything in this world
Michael Jackson leather and a glove, but didn't give me a curl
And you never put no man over me
And I love you for that mommy can't you see?
Seven years old, caught you with tears in your eyes
Cuz a nigga cheatin, telling you lies, then I started to cry
As we knelt on the kitchen floor
I said mommy I'mma love you till you don't hurt no more
And when I'm older, you ain't gotta work no more
And I'mma get you that mansion that we couldn't afford
See you're, unbreakable, unmistakable
Highly capable, lady that's makin loot
A livin legend too, just look at what heaven do
Send us an angel, and I thank you (Hey Mama)

[Hook]

[Verse 2]
Forrest Gump mama said, life is like a box of chocolates
My mama told me go to school, get your doctorate
Somethin to fall back on, you could profit with
But still supported me when I did the opposite
Now I feel like it's things I gotta get
Things I gotta do, just to prove to you
You was getting through, can the choir please
Give me a verse of "You, Are So Beautiful To Me"
Can't you see, you're like a book of poetry
Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni, turn one page and there's my mommy
Come on mommy just dance wit me, let the whole world see your dancing feet
Now when I say Hey, yall say Mama, now everybody answer me (Hey Mama)

[Hook]

[Bridge]
I guess it also depends though, if my ends low
Second they get up you gon get that Benzo
Tint the windows, ride around the city and let ya friends know (Hey Mama)

[Verse 3]
Tell your job you gotta fake em out
Since you brought me in this world, let me take you out
To a restaurant, upper echelon
Imma get you a jag, whatever else you want
Just tell me what kind of S-Type Donda West like?
Tell me the perfect color so I make it just right
It don't gotta be Mother's Day, or your birthday
For me to just call and say (Hey Mama)

I could relate him saying that I'm going back to school. My feels have been all over the place. If she ends up passing over, I have realized that she's my last parent around. I'm surprised that I have even been functioning this past week at all. Normally, I would just stay in my bed and sleep as much as possible to deal with this. Keeping myself active has worked out for me to not dwell on this situation too much and what I may have to do in the coming weeks.

djchameleon · 12-08-2013, 02:34 PM

I have started this entry a couple of times but then I end up just deleting the whole thing to start over from scratch. The day after I wrote my last entry my mother passed away. I went to visit her that day and spent 3 hours with her. I left to go home and two hours later I received the call that she passed on. I wanted to make a post with mother related songs or songs relating to people moving on or finding an afterlife but it all feels extremely cliche and in personal.

In the end, I decided to just post a few of her favorite songs that she loved to sing along to and I would sing with her but extremely off key to make fun of the song.

Spoiler for Songs Below:

I'm so glad that her service is over and done with and it went off without a hitch.

I went to it yesterday. I'm terrible at funeral services. I tend to smile a lot and every little thing that gets said is just incredibly funny to me. I have to fight back from laughing out loud and it tends to be strange because everyone around me is crying their hearts out and being emotional and I have this opposite reaction. Majority of the time I just try to keep people from seeing my smile so they don't think that I'm smiling/laughing at their pain. After the service, we went out to eat a Chinese buffet which is what we did the last time when my uncle passed away three years ago. My goal this time around was to make sure that everyone else pitched in and that my grandmother didn't have to worry about any costs because she picked up most of the costs last time with my uncle and she's still paying off credit card bills from that funeral proceeding. I wanted to practice a bit on my guitar when I came home but I was just so exhausted that I passed out. I woke up that morning feeling a bit on the sick side. Sore throat and all that jazz.

R.I.P. mom.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 12-08-2013, 06:48 PM

Aww that is so sad hun. I hope she is happy and at peace. RIP.

There's no "normal" way of going to a funeral of a loved one, don't worry.

~~butthead aka 216~~ · 12-08-2013, 08:43 PM

heavy stuff man and im sorry to hear. my thoughts are with ya

Unknown Soldier · 12-09-2013, 03:54 AM

Sorry to hear about your loss DJ and as always time is a great healer when it comes to things like this.

Trollheart · 12-09-2013, 03:57 AM

Very brave of you to put your most personal feelings out there in public, DJ. I hope your mother is in a much better place now, and you can feel better that she's no longer in pain. She'll always be part of you, but at least now you can console yourself that she's at peace. Sucks that happened so close to Christmas, but I' sure you wouldn't have wanted her hanging on longer than necessary if she was in pain.

We're thinking of ya...

djchameleon · 12-10-2013, 12:51 AM

Thanks for the kind words of support guys. I have been holding up pretty well. People keep asking me how I'm doing but I'm not breaking down like either they expect me to or just curious to see if I'm doing well.

I usually handle the death of loved ones pretty okay. I always feel like I'm saying to the person "see you later" as opposed to "goodbye" like I may see them again one day. I'm a spiritual person. I was raised religious and got dragged to church but now I have thrown the religious part of it by the waste side and only focus of the spiritual side of it.

12-08-2013, 06:48 PM	#36 (permalink)
Scarlett O'Hara Make it so Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 6,181	Aww that is so sad hun. I hope she is happy and at peace. RIP. There's no "normal" way of going to a funeral of a loved one, don't worry. __________________ "Elph is truly an enfant terrible of the forum, bless and curse him" - Marie, Queen of Thots

12-09-2013, 03:57 AM	#39 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	Very brave of you to put your most personal feelings out there in public, DJ. I hope your mother is in a much better place now, and you can feel better that she's no longer in pain. She'll always be part of you, but at least now you can console yourself that she's at peace. Sucks that happened so close to Christmas, but I' sure you wouldn't have wanted her hanging on longer than necessary if she was in pain. We're thinking of ya... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

12-08-2013, 08:43 PM	#37 (permalink)
~~butthead aka 216~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: freely swimmin thru the waters of glory much like a majestic bald eagle soars thru the skies Posts: 1,463	heavy stuff man and im sorry to hear. my thoughts are with ya