Music Banter - I'm Here Today, Expect It To Stay On

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Key	12-02-2014 08:02 PM

Sorry. I'm a day late. I'll just skip the intro post and get right into it...

http://i61.tinypic.com/k96k54.png

Satan has a bunch of albums that he wants people to listen to, and hopefully enjoy. He's starting off with this one:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...armageddon.jpg
Dimmu Borgir - Death Cult Armageddon

I had a recent interview with Satan himself, and he gave a few words about this album and why he chose to start this month with revealing his liking for this album.

Me: So Satan, why would you say you chose Death Cult Armageddon to start your takeover of Christmas? Also, how do you think this will help you reign supreme over Santa Clause?

Satan: Great question, and thank you for having me on your show. I chose Death Cult Armageddon for a few reasons, one being that I am just an enormous fan of black metal as a genre. I think it's pure and really allows for some powerful headbanging. I can guarantee the people down here enjoy the hell out of it, so to speak (satan laughs). Anyway, the way I see it, if I start with something as deadly and black as an album called Death Cult Armageddon, Santa doesn't even stand a chance, and that is one big reason why I chose it. Plus, I just think the music is great, and a lot of their videos for their songs really fit my liking, one in specifically would be Progenies of the Great Apocalypse.

Me: Well, Satan, thank you for coming on our show. We do have a surprise for you. Santa is here to give this album a listen and he has asked for people to keep from asking questions as he says he isn't feeling too well, something about eating too many cookies last night. Anyway, we were able to get a rating our of him if anything. It seems from what I can tell that he sort of enjoyed it.

Santa's rating:

http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png

Key	12-03-2014 08:26 PM

http://i62.tinypic.com/2418rxl.png

inb4 "the pentagram isn't even evil". Well, whatever. We all know that this symbol is used when most people talk about Satan in some ways. Or perhaps not, but that's beside the point. Enough bands have used the pentagram for symbolism in their music, black metal bands specifically. That's what this is for, is to highlight those bands that have used it.

I'll start with the obvious one:

Cradle of Filth did a track on their Thornography album titled "Rise of the Pentagram". It starts off with what I assume is a poem written specifically for the theme of the track.

One dark afternoon
Like a shadow I flew
Through the rain that fell sick with lament
To this house of incest
For when we undressed
Blasphemies against Venus were rent
Though a sister removed
Her white body approved
The parade of my heavenly quests
Yet, all tongues are not true
Some are forked or askew
Like an uncivil serpent's at best
For ousted from Eden
I fausted all reason
Hook in mouth like Saint Peter Pan
To haunt fairy groves
And hot virgin coves
Where in the promiscuous swam
I elected lovers and rejected others
Mathistrisses that don't give a damn
But for those that still do
My deep interest grew
The rise of the true pentagram!

I mean, I wouldn't say it's incredible, or if it's really a clever way to bring up such topic, but it's not really terribly written either. Especially since the rest of the track is purely instrumental, which I seem to like quite a bit. Anyway, i'll keep this short.

We've gotten a surprise rating by Santa on this one as well.

http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png

Santa says: Ho ho! I'm not really a big fan of the topic at hand, but I can say that I really enjoy the instrumentals quite a bit. Gets the reindeer dancing and keeps Misses Claus off my back. I must learn to play this some time!!

Key	12-04-2014 08:50 PM

http://i60.tinypic.com/dy6u85.png

So it looks like it's Santas turn. He has some questions and concerns about what's been going on here, but he's also curious about a few things and would love it if Satan himself could shine some light on it. So, on Santas wish list, he's got a list of songs that he believes do not have a death metal counterpart, or heavy metal etc. Perhaps Satan has something up his sleeve, but we'll see.

Satan: I may not have the songs you're looking for, but I do have this:

http://f1.bcbits.com/img/a2406546779_2.jpg
Death Metal Christmas - Hellish Renditions of Christmas Classics

Tracklist:
Unrest for Melancholy Men (God Rest Ye Merry Christmas)
Earthen Kings (We Three Kings)
Nutcracker: Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy
Greensleeves
O Come, O Come, Azrael (O Come, O Come, Emmanuel)

That's right, there is an album out there dedicated to death metal versions of Christmas songs.

Satan: I had a feeling Santa would be coming to me asking about whether or not I knew some Christmas songs with the death metal touch to it. Turns out, I do. Bet you didn't think I did huh Santa?

Santa: My god, how could you have known I was looking for something like this. I'm still not going to let you take Christmas away. We've got weeks before the big day, and i've got things up my sleeve that you may not be prepared for.

Key	12-07-2014 04:57 PM

http://i61.tinypic.com/k96k54.png

Satan is back, and with a little treat. He's bringing us a song and an album that aren't exactly as heavy as the rest of his other favorites, but it still does the job well in terms of being something he can bash his head to.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._master_gr.jpg
King Diamond - The Puppet Master

Satan: There's something about the album covers and the way the guy portrays himself that just makes me feel all fuzzy and dark inside. Definitely an artist I wouldn't allow my minions to listen to, but it's a guilty pleasure.

And what better way to show Satan's love for this album with a track with a title as dark as the album cover portrays:

Key	12-07-2014 06:33 PM

http://i59.tinypic.com/2eov31u.jpg

This is where i'll be talking about some of the more terrifying / grotesque looking album covers that can be fairly common within the metal genre as a whole. Some will be personal favorites, and some will just be ranked on how "nightmarish" they come off. And of course, we'll continue to use the Santa horns rating system, because Santa is away for the day, and we want to scare the crap out of him once he returns. So let's get started.

https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2629/...8a333db2_m.jpg
Disarmonia Mundi - Mind Tricks

Out of the four album covers from Disarmonia Mundi, this one always seem to be the scariest. It looks like the setting of a murder mystery where the victim is locked up in a basement. The shadow figure looks like it'd be the killer.

http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png

Next up we have...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...obsessesed.jpg
Cannibal Corpse - Gore Obsessed

I know. Maybe i'm cheating a little bit when I use Cannibal Corpse. This is certainly not the most terrifying album cover that I have seen from them, but I did want to include one of their albums in this list.

http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png

Key	12-07-2014 06:34 PM

Next up we have...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...t-Original.JPG
Burn The Priest - Burn The Priest

Before Lamb of God were named Lamb of God, they were known as Burn The Priest. Honestly, this is one of the cooler album covers of theirs that i've seen, and I wish they'd go back to this artwork. For one, it just fits their style of music so well, and it just reeks of gore. To me, that's pretty badass.

http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png

And finally, for now...

http://www.metal-archives.com/images...17782.jpg?1024
Mistweaver - Tales From The Grave

Nothing fits this list better than an album title that directly relates to the topic i'm going on about. Tales From The Grave is one of the cooler album covers that this band has to offer, but that's not saying the others are bad. Mistweaver have been pretty consistent at keeping the album art they release both nightmarish and artistic.

http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png http://i57.tinypic.com/dhe491.png

Anteater

12-07-2014 06:38 PM

When I think King Diamond and Christmas stuff, I put this on. :tramp: