In Valen's name!

I only read off-and-on because I've been super busy lately, but it looks like I'm going to have to dive into your archives, because I wholeheartedly agree. B5 is my favorite SF series of all time, warts and all.

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Season Two: "The coming of Shadows"
2.15 “And now for a word”
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“36 Hours on Babylon 5” is a special news programme filmed by ISN, InterStellar News Network, to give people back on Earth an idea of what happens on the station, and perhaps more importantly, where their tax credits are going. The first thing the news crew sees on arriving at the station is a Centauri vessel being attacked, and destroyed, by a Narn ship. Cynthia Torqueman, the investigative journalist heading the programme, interviews Londo, who of course plays up the “peaceful Centauri” angle --- odd, considering they started the war --- and G’Kar, who has no comment he says until he talks to his government.

When he does, he comes back with a shocking statement: the Centauri ship that was destroyed is said to have been transporting weapons of mass destruction to ships bound for the front line, and he will not allow this to happen. The Narn will set up a blockade and refuse entry to any Centauri ship. Torqueman intimates to her viewers that it may be time to consider shutting down the station, that it is a waste of money. A senator interviewed does not exactly give the station a ringing endorsement. She interviews the command staff, but of course they’re aware they’re on the record, and everyone is very careful not to say anything controversial. The aliens don’t fare quite so well, especially Delenn. Unused to human deception and manipulation, she is surprised and horrified when Torqueman tries to needle her about her appearance, her transformation, and openly calls her out on it, telling her she is a travesty and is mocking humanity. G’Kar calls a council meeting to reveal to all that after Ivanova has made a detailed investigation of his claims they have been confirmed: the Centauri vessel was carrying WMDs, and he believes the other ships berthed here are similarly laden. He demands they be impounded and inspected, but Londo warns that the ships will defend themselves if approached to give up their “cargo”. The situation, to Torqueman’s thinly-disguised and ghoulish delight, already precarious is threatening to spin right out of control.

And so it does. Narn fighters attack Centauri ships and there is a pitched battle going on outside Babylon 5. Sheridan scrambles the station’s Starfuries, hoping to re-establish order, but he knows that should his ships open fire both races will consider this an act of war. However he has no choice: his station is being made into a warzone and he cannot allow it to continue. After two ships have been destroyed both sides stand down, and Sheridan demands a meeting with the two ambassadors. Before that, Torqueman interviews them both, and not surprisingly each gives a different picture of the other, painting themselves in the best light.

A Centauri battlecruiser comes through the gate, blockading Babylon 5 until the Centauri ships held there are allowed to leave. Londo is very clear that lethal force may and will be used if necessary. Another standoff. Sheridan calls their bluff, believing it to be such, and places the defence grid on standyby, telling the Centuri cruiser that if any ship entering or leaving Babylon 5 is targeted they will respond with deadly force. His resolve works and the ship is allowed to leave, but before they can celebrate a Narn cruiser comes through the gate. It attacks and destroys the Centauri ship, despite repeated orders from Sheridan not to engage, and then in trying to escape, badly damaged, it explodes.

QUOTES
G’Kar: “They (the Centauri) have turned Babylon 5 into a weapons supply post, and we cannot allow this to continue. Even if it means shutting down Babylon 5 permanently.”

Sheridan: “It smacks of jingoism and self-deception and armchair quarterbacking. Any time you lose a war you just wait a few years and you’ll hear from everyone who thinks we could have won if they had done the fighting.”
Torqueman: “Except of course, Captain, we didn’t lose the war. The Minbari did surrender."
Sheridan: “Oh. Of course.”

Torqueman: “Over a quarter of a million humans were killed in the war with your people. How do you think the families of those victims would feel about your change?”
Delenn: “I don’t know. I would hope they would understand.”
Torqueman: “I think they would be hurt, betrayed; that by taking a human face you’re taking a part of us you’re not entitled to. What would you say to them? To all the husbands and wives and children and brothers and sisters of the people who were killed in the war with your people, and now see a Minbari with a human face?”

Torqueman: “Why do you think they (the Centauri) invaded back then?”
G’Kar: “Why does any advanced civilisation seek to destroy a less advanced one? Because the land is strategically valuable, because there are resources they can cultivate and exploit, but mostly, because they can.You have experienced much the same on your own world. There are humans for whom the words “never again” carry special meaning. As they do for us.”

Delenn (in response to Torqueman’s question, is it worth keeping Babylon 5?): “Of course it is. For the simple reasons that nobody else would have built a place like this. Humans share one unique quality: they create communities. If the Narns or the Centauri, or any other race had built Babylon 5 it would be used only for their own people. But wherever humans go they create communities out of diverse and sometimes hostile populations. It is a great gift, a terrible responsibility, and one that cannot be abandoned.”

Sheridan (to the same question): “Yes, but not for any of the reasons you’ve probably been told. The job of Babylon 5 is not to enforce the peace, it’s to create the peace. This place was built on the assumption that we could work out our problems and build a better future. And that, to me, is the key issue. See, in the last few years, we’ve stumbled. We stumbled at the death of the president, at the war, on and on. And when you stumble a lot, you start looking at your feet. We have to make people lift their eyes back to the horizon, and see the line of ancestors behind us saying, make my life have meaning. And to our inheritors before us saying, create the world that we will live in. We’re not just holding down jobs and having dinner, we are in the process of building the future. That’s what Babylon 5 is all about. Only by making people understand that can we hope to create a better world for ourselves and for posterity.”

Important Arc Plot Points
Back home
Arc Level : Red
Most of this is dealt with in the section below, but the ISN programme is surely Clarke’s way of ensuring that he besmirches the reputation of Babylon 5, already at a very low popularity level with people on Earth. Torqueman (surely no coincidence that her name is very close to the famous Spanish Inquisition leader, Torquemada?) has almost certainly been sent to B5 with an agenda: get all the dirt you can on the station, and on its crew. Ensure that the folks back home see that the aliens are running the place, that they are a threat to humanity. Paint it in the blackest light you can, while not of course being obvious. Twist the facts: you’re a news reporter, you’ll be used to that. Make people wonder why we’re bothering spending millions of tax credits on this floating liability, that is being utilised more or less exclusively for the benefit of the alien races.

Clarke wants to shut Babylon 5 down. He probably was against it in the first place, and now that he’s president he’s determined to get rid of it. Apart from the money spent on it which he would surely use to shore up Earth’s defences against a possible Centauri attack, I believe that at this stage reports have reached him, from Bester, Cranston, others, that Sheridan is not to be trusted and is not one of his men. To have such a man --- a decorated war hero, popular with the people --- in charge of what could be an orbital battle platform does not seem to him to be a good idea. And yet only a few episodes ago he sent armaments to the place. So what is he up to? Maybe he wants to close it down and reopen it as an exclusively Earth-driven and military outpost to keep an eye on the aliens? The chances of the Centauri attacking Earth, once they’ve defeated the Narns --- which quite obviously they will do, sooner or later --- may seem remote at this stage, but the Centauri Republic is now a resurgent power, stretching out its hand and reclaiming territories it lost. An expanding empire can only go one way, and those in its path will be conquered, enslaved or destroyed. Londo might laugh at the idea of attacking his “good friends the Earthers”, but others in the court may have different ideas.

By withdrawing into itself and preparing the best defences it can, Clarke believes Earth can best serve its own interests and keep out of the interstellar wars. Babylon 5 is a major obstacle to that goal, openly inviting aliens in and, proven here, allowing them or giving them an opportunity at least to make of the station their own private battleground. Why allow this to continue? What is the point? Far better to arm the station, kick off all non-Earth (and those seen to be disloyal) occupants and close the place up as a bastion of his government, a floating battleship in space. Sheridan of course would fight this, and he can’t remove him legitimately without good reason, as Clarke still has, for now, as we have seen, his opponents in the Senate and in the military, and the last thing he wants right now is a civil war, a power struggle.

But if he can turn popular opinion against the captain, show people how he is mismanaging and failing at his job, that the aliens are calling the shots and he is either powerless to stop them or worse in league with them, why then the people of Earth would demand his resignation, reassignment or even arrest! And Clarke would be only too happy to oblige, for after all, he serves the will of the people. “36 Hours on Babylon 5” has been nothing but a giant propaganda exercise, using ISN and helped by IPX, who are a sponsor of the show, both of whom will become two of the president’s staunchest allies.

In fairness to Cynthia Torqueman, it may be that she does not realise she is being used, if she is. She may think she’s doing an honest, unbiased story and she may not have any links to Clarke because at this time ISN is still fairly independent, but it will not stay that way long, as we will see in later episodes and seasons.

Darkness ascending
As things begin to show signs of turning ugly back home, as pro-Earth and anti-alien agendas seem to receive tacit, even open support and approval from Earthgov, I’ll be chronicling here the shift in policy back on Earth with the ascension of President Clarke. Unlike Hitler, he won’t be burning down any buildings or making a power grab, but slowly, insidiously and just as effectively, those who raise dissenting voices will be made disappear as easily as in any third-world tinpot dictatorship, as Earth slowly and inexorably moves towards a global police state.

Here we see the creeping effects of Clarke’s propaganda beginning to seep into what will become one of his most powerful tools, the media. Introducing “36 Hours on Babylon 5”, the newscaster describes Mars colony as “Plagued by scattered groups of separatists, who have used acts of terror to intimidate the Earth-loyal majority”, already skewing the facts. Most of Mars wants independence, but that doesn’t suit Clarke, and as in many cases down through history the freedom fighters and those who advocate separation from Earth are classed as “terrorists”, “agitators” and “troublemakers.” Already ISN is becoming --- if it wasn’t already --- the mouthpiece of the Clarke administration, the Fox News of the twenty-third century.

It’s also interesting that the programme is sponsored by IPX, InterPlanetary Expeditions, who we have met briefly in season one, but who will turn out to have more than a somewhat vested interest in keeping the man in power who currently occupies the highest position on Earth.

During a commercial break in “36 Hours on Babylon 5”, ISN screens a recruitment advertisement for Psi Corps, in which the dark organisation makes themselves out to be everyone’s friend, only interested in helping those who have telepathic ability which is undeveloped reach their full potential. It’s about as balanced as a pre-election stab at the opposition two weeks before voting day. Clean-cut kid, sexy but respectable single mother, lantern-jawed Psi Cop somehow teleporting in (teleportation is far in advance of anything Earth technology currently has, but if anyone has it it would be Psi Corps. Mind you, they wouldn’t want to advertise it so I assume this is just a special effect, a way of telling people that the Corps are on hand whenever needed. It’s also a good way of warning people that they’re always there…) with a somewhat chilling: “We’re everywhere.” Then adding, with a tight false smile, “For your convenience.” Yeah… And a flashframe on screen whispers “Trust the Corps. The Corps is your friend.”

There is even a segment thrown in where it’s claimed that recent polls shows Clarke’s popularity and approval ratings at record highs. This may be true, given the general animosity of humans towards aliens, and they may be glad that the new president is pulling back sharply from the policies of social, political, military and societal integration that his predecessor pursued. Or it could all be lies. Clarke will be anxious to have himself seen in a favourable light, and who after all is going to question these possibly mythic polls?


SKETCHES
Ambassador G'Kar
G’Kar’s story, as told to ISN’s Cynthia Torqueman: “My family lived in one of the larger cities on Narn, my father served in a Centauri household during the last years of the rebellion. I was barely a pouchling at the time. My mother was ill, unable to escape through the underground so we all stayed. It was a difficult time. We were striking deep into Centauri resources; things were tense. One day my father spilled a cup of hot jhala on the mistress of the house. And she had him killed. They took him out, tied his hands together and hung him from a jhavwa tree for three days. I came to him the last night, against my mother’s orders and he looked down at me. He said he was proud, to go and fight and be all the things he never was. And he died. The next morning I ran away and killed my first Centauri.”

This tells us a lot about G’Kar, and yet very little. He was brought up from an early age --- “Barely a pouchling” --- under not only Centauri occupation but in their service. As is always the way with the conquered who are put to work for the conquerors, they will despise one another, the latter for their weakness and the former for being enslaved. This hatred, then, for the Centauri has been built into G’Kar’s personality from almost the start: it’s nearly a genetic trait. His father served the oppressors and was killed by them for a trivial thing, though whether he served out of choice or not is not made clear. However his hatred for the invader is, and it would seem he was just a weak man --- or a strong one --- trying to protect his family by not getting into trouble. But from his dying words it is clear he wanted to fight the Centauri, and is proud his son will do so.

G’Kar has of course seen firsthand what the stripmining of his world has meant for Narn. I’m not entirely sure he was there for the invasion --- he does say he was very young and his father was already in servitude, so perhaps the planet had been conquered years before he was born, or before he was able to make any sense of it. In very real terms, he has lived under the Centauri occupation all his younger life and probably knew no other life, until the invader was pushed off their planet, and presumably he took part in that. His hatred for Londo Mollari, however, does not seem to stem from any personal dislike: he is simply a Centauri, and on Babylon 5, the highest ranking and most visible representative of a race who has subjugated G’Kar’s people in the past, and who is now on the way to doing so again. You can even see, in the brief interludes between their fighting and sniping and threats, that each holds the other in a certain kind of fond regard, a case perhaps of “another time, another place”...

But G’Kar’s relationship with Londo will always be teetering on the brink of savage anger and retribution, however close they get. The difference will be seen in the two very divergent paths the two men take, the one into darkness and damnation, the other … well, you’ll just have to wait and see, but let’s just say this much: we’re going to find there is a lot more to Ambassador G’Kar than at first meets the eye.

2.16 “In the shadow of Zha'dum”
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Mr. Morden is back on Babylon 5, and he has information for Londo. Sheridan is looking through the crew roster of the Icarus, the ship on which his wife died, when Garibaldi recognises Morden's face there. But everyone is supposed to have died in the crash. How could this one man be still alive when everyone else is dead? Sheridan sets out to find out all he can about the mysterious Mr. Morden. When he learns that the man is still on the station he has him taken into custody and begins to interrogate him. A representative from the newly-formed Ministry of Peace visits Talia, and asks her to help him talk to the station staff about some new initiatives that are being planned.

Seeing he is dead on his feet, Ivanova relieves Franklin temporarily of duty, tells him to get some sleep and something to eat. The Ministry of Peace introduces the concept of the Nightwatch, which is supposedly to be a security system within a security system; those who join are expected to “keep an eye on things” and report back to Earth. Most laugh at the idea, but there’s fifty credits a week extra going, so there’s no shortage of volunteers. Garibaldi warns Sheridan that he is sailing close to the wind; he has not charged Morden with anything, he is holding him without cause, but Sheridan refuses to let Morden go, leading to Garibaldi’s threat to resign, and his following through on this when Sheridan does not back down.

Zack Allan is put in charge in his absence, while Vir requests an audience with Sheridan, telling him that Morden is a guest of the Centauri Republic and as such has diplomatic immunity. Londo wants him released at once. But Sheridan points out that diplomatic immunity only applies if the person has been charged with a crime, as Morden has not been. When Vir counters with the question as to why then he is being held, Sheridan fobs him off and leaves. But now the captain’s suspicions are confirmed, and he is even more fired up to find out who this guy is that, although he seems innocuous, is able to carry such influence with the Centauri that they will extend their protection to him?

Ivanova tells him she is worried that he is becoming irrational, and it is her duty to advise him that he may not be fit for duty, but he blows her off too. He tries to get Talia to scan Morden but she is prohibited from unauthorised scans. Sheridan’s contention that legally the man is dead and can’t object holds no weight with her: she knows he is playing word games, and dangerous ones. But he has a plan. He makes sure that the two pass each other in the corridor as Morden is being transferred to a cell, and the telepathic emanations from him are so overpowering that she automatically scans him. What she sees terrifies her: darkness, total and absolute. And cold. So cold. She also sees what look to be creatures, about half man height and spider or antlike, clustered around him.

Eventually, even Delenn and Kosh meet with Sheridan and tell him he must release Morden. When he refuses, they agree to tell him what they know, but warn him he will have trouble sleeping once he knows what they know. They tell him of the ancient race called The First Ones, who watched over and guided the “younger races” but then went away, far from our galaxy. Sheridan thinks he’s listening to folklore, fairytales, but Delenn tells him this is history, not fantasy. Ancient, godlike beings once raomed the galaxy and they battled a darker race known as the Shadows. They were only defeated by an alliance of races a thousand years ago, in which the First Ones fought. Kosh was one of those First Ones.

He shows Sheridan what happened to the Icarus. They landed on and explored Zha’dum, and there they found the Shadows, who killed them rather than let them escape and carry news of their presence to the outside world. Delenn tells Sheridan that unless Morden is released the Shadows will come for him, and will realise how much their enemy knows about them. Then they will strike, before Delenn and Kosh are ready. In order to have any chance of defeating the Shadows this time, Delenn needs as much time as possible to marshall her forces. If she is compelled to act too soon, she and Kosh will have to play their hand, and at the moment it is a losing one. They are not yet ready to face the ancient enemy. Faced with this dilemma, Sheridan sees he has no option but to let Morden go, even though he now burns even more to know what happened to his wife, and is sure the man in the isolation cell knows. Before he does though he manages to tune the station’s scanners to a frequency that shows him the strange creatures Talia also saw, standing alongside Morden, as if protecting or guarding him. The Shadows Delenn spoke of. She warned him that Morden is never alone, and now he can see for himself. Torn, wanting to shout and point and draw attention to the grainy image on the monitor, he resists and lets it fade, mindful of Delenn’s prophecy, that if they move too soon they will lose, and billions will die.

When Morden has been released Sheridan goes to Garibaldi to apologise for not listening to him and asks him to take back his job, which he does. Then the captain goes to see Kosh, and asks him to help him learn how to fight the Shadows. Kosh says he will, but has a dire prediction for Sheridan. Given the Vorlon’s usual couching of subtle phrase and riddle, this one is straightforward and unambiguous: if he goes to Zha’dum, as he tells Kosh he will, he is going to die.

QUOTES
Morden: “If restoring the Centauri Republic means nothing to you, what does? What do you want?”
Vir: “I’d like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike, as a warning to the next ten generations that some favours come with too high a price. I would look up into your lifeless eyes and wave, like this. Can you and your associates arrange that for me, Mr. Morden?”
(Hold that thought...)

Franklin: “When a patient starts to slip away and he looks at you, his eyes grab hold of you the way a drowning man grabs hold of anything to keep from sinking. Afraid, so afraid. Then just at the last it’s as if they look past you to something else and the look on their face is like nothing you can describe. And then just as they look past you, the moment they look past you you can’t help but meet their gaze, and just for an instant you see God reflected in their eyes. Seen a lot of reflected gods today, Susan, and I’m wondering how we can keep believing in them when they’ve stopped believing in us.”

Sheridan: “Mister Garibaldi: interpreting the regulations for a senior officer can be considered an act of insubordination!”
(This is an amazingly clever line and a real nod back to season one, when Colonel Ari Ben Zayn said the same thing, word for word, to Sinclair. It shows that Sheridan is beginning to lose sight of his responsibilities as the station commander, and letting his personal feelings guide his decisions, even if they lead him down dark paths. That is a dangerous and slippery slope to begin to slide down.)

Delenn: “If this is the only way then we will give you those answers. But be warned: once you know his secret, once you know what we have known for the last three years, you will never sleep well again. Come, Captain: the greatest nightmare of our time is waiting for you.”

Delenn: “We have no other name for them. The Shadows were old when even the Ancients were young. They battled one another over and over, across a million years. The last great war was ten thousand years ago, it was the last time the Ancients walked among us. But the Shadows were only defeated, not destroyed. A thousand years ago the Shadows returned to their places of power, rebuilt them, began to stretch forth their hand. Before they could strike they were defeated by an alliance of worlds, including the Minbari, and a few remaining First Ones who had not yet passed beyond the Veil. When they had finished, the First Ones went away, all but one.”
Sheridan: “There’s still one of them left? Where?”
Delenn (indicates Kosh): “That is why Kosh can never leave his encounter suit. He would be recognised.”
Sheridan: “Recognised? By whom?”
Kosh: “Everyone.”
Delenn: “There comes a moment when each of us must pledge ourselves to something greater. You once told G’Kar that he had to choose between revenge and the good of his people. Now you must make that decision. It will be the most important decision of your life.”

Sheridan: “Stop!”
Zack: “What did you see?”
Sheridan: “Nothing. Shadows…”

Garibaldi: “What’s that?” (Pointing at Zack’s Nightwatch armband)
Zack: “What? Ah, nothin’. If Earth wants to throw its money around who I am to say no, huh? Fifty extra credits a week to walk around and do what I do anyway? Jeez! Why not?”
(But Zack, and everyone else who is so keen to take Earthgov's money for seemingly nothing, will find that there is a very dark and high price to pay for the allegiance they offer when they put on that seemingly innocuous armband).

Sheridan: “I let him go. But there’s a price tag attached. You’ve been help me so we can understand each other, I don’t want that anymore. I want you to teach me about them, how to fight them, how to beat them. Because sooner or later, I’m going to Zha’dum and I’m going to stop them.”
Kosh: “If you go to Zha’dum you will die.”
Sheridan: “Then I die. But I will not go down easily and I will not go down alone. You will teach me?”
Kosh: “Yes.”

Important Plot Arc Points
Morden
Arc Level: Red
This episode is piled high with revelations and plot twists, and now we know a lot more about the mysterious Mr. Morden than we did previously. He serves ancient, evil beings known only as the Shadows, who are timeless and immortal it would seem, and were only defeated a thousand years ago thanks to the intervention of other ancient aliens, which Delenn calls The First Ones. Morden is not alone; the Shadows follow him, cluster about him, invisible to the human eye, or any other, but they are always there. We’ve seen them before, in “Signs and portents”, when he gloated with them over having secured the services of Mollari, and we also see them here before Delenn and Kosh reveal who they are, when Talia scans Morden. We also learn that Morden was on the Icarus, the ship that carried Sheridan’s wife to her death, along with everyone else onboard. But though that was written off as an unexplained accident, it now seems it was a cold act of callous murder. The Icarus landed on Zha’dum, the ancient base used by the Shadows, and all its crew were killed, other than of course Morden.

There is of course a lot we still don’t know about him, may never do, but according to Earth Central he is dead, and if he’s serving the Shadows against his own people then he probably is dead, inside at least. Perhaps he was to be killed too, and at the last offered his services to the aliens like a true snivelling coward, turning traitor on his own people in return for his miserable life. Or maybe they forced him to work for them? The perpetual smile, that smirk that is always on his face, would say otherwise though: he seems quite willing and even happy to be their servant, knowing nobody can or would dare touch him, even if they don’t quite know why. One thing is certain: he will never turn Vir the way he has turned Londo. Vir makes this clear when he tells Morden very candidly and graphically what he wants. Remember this when we get into season five.

The Shadows
Arc Level: Red
Now at last we know who the “dark enemy” Delenn spoke of before she underwent her transformation is. An ancient race who have battled with another, across the millennia, and who were only defeated last time by an alliance of races. We see a scene, taken from season one’s closer, where Delenn asks Lennier if he related her message to Kosh, and the aide replies yes, and that the answer Kosh gave was in the affirmative. A lot has hung on what that question was, and now we learn it was “Have the Shadows returned to Zha’dum?” Now that Delenn knows they have, that the ancient enemy is consolidating and gathering its forces, she knows there is no time to waste. She cannot wait for approval from the Grey Council which, if it came at all, would only come after days or weeks of heated debate. She goes ahead and makes an enemy of herself to many powerful Minbari.

But it was necessary. Without her change, Delenn would not have been able to see as the humans do, and be able to guide Sheridan towards the revelation that she and Kosh make here. Of course, it’s still too early. She had not intended the captain to learn this information so soon, but with Morden imprisoned and the Shadows getting more agitated, she has to move sooner than she expected. Now the secret is out, and Sheridan must deal with it. We can also see now the true extent of the dark, cold star Londo has hitched his wagon to. This association with Morden and the Shadows --- though he does not know about the latter, and yet he must have some idea that the enigmatic man has powerful allies --- will bring Mollari and the Centauri Republic into direct confrontation with Sheridan and his people, as the two clash head-on. It may be that Londo will find that he has after all backed the wrong horse, and should have listened to Vir.

Zha’dum
Arc Level: Red
The ancient homebase of the Shadows, this planet has been hinted at by the likes of G’Kar and even Catherine Sakai in season one, and is noted in the video report of the “crash” of the Icarus. But now we know its significance, and it seems that Sheridan had better stay away from this dark place, as Kosh has warned him that death awaits him there, and for the Vorlon to be so literal and unenigmatic, he must be telling the truth, and an important truth at that. Only one problem: John Sheridan intends to go there, even knowing the fate he must encounter there.

Zack Rising
We can see Zack come into his own in this episode. Even before Garibaldi temporarily resigns in protest at the illegal imprisonment of Morden, Zack is in the episode from the very start. It’s he who passes Morden in, he who stops him and he who brings him to the captain. When he has to take over for Garibaldi he makes it clear that he is concerned about the chief’s sudden leave of absence, as Sheridan does not tell him the whole story, and you can see he considers Garibaldi a friend, and is uncomfortable taking his job, even if only for a short while.

But we also see him get involved with the newly formed Nightwatch. This seemingly innocuous entity will soon turn out to be anything but. As it is, Zack sneered at the idea but when the extra money was mentioned he figured why not? He thinks he’s making easy money. But membership in the Nightwatch will very shortly show itself to be anything but easy, and the money will be the least of his worries. The captain also takes him into his confidence, telling him the old story about Coventry during World War II, and even Zack is taken aback by Sheridan’s duplicity when he arranges for Morden and Talia’s paths to cross. It’s clear he’s a man of principles, which while it will stand him in good stead on Babylon 5 and with Sheridan, will be more of a liability when it comes to dealing with the Ministry of Peace’s new pet project.


Good guys sometimes wear black
One of the strengths of Babylon 5, only copied really by Deep Space Nine and later Battlestar Galactica and its ilk, is that the heroes are not squeaky-clean. Like Sisko in DS9, they sometimes resort to questionable tactics in order to get the job done. In my opinion, this makes the series more genuine, more honest and more real. The point being that sometimes the choices they make are shocking, and often can’t really be excused. In this section I’ll be detailing scenes and events when the characters make that sudden left turn, surprising us that they can play the dark card when needed.

Here Sheridan arrests Morden without any cause at all, holds him without charge and even goes so far as to gloat that since technically he is dead he has no rights, and Sheridan can do what he likes with him. This interrogation of his will uncomfortably parallel another, later in season four, when we will have to ask ourselves is this guy just doing his job, is he evil or is he trying to achieve an end, no matter the means? Nixon once famously said, “when the president does it it’s no longer illegal.” That was and is bullshit of course, but scenes like this one, and others later, make us wonder if Sheridan and his comrades do really make up the rules as they go along, or just obey them or work within them when it suits them. Are they really the good guys, or just different sides of the same coin? In the end he pulls back from the brink, but not because he realises what he’s doing is wrong. In fact, the choice has to be spelled out for him, and linked back to the same one he gave G’Kar when he wanted to kill Mollari earlier. It’s only expediency and the greater good that stops Sheridan from finishing what he started, so in many ways you can’t really give him too many points for that. Perhaps the only thing in this instance in which you can praise him is the fact that he manages to see the Shadows, sees that what Delenn and Kosh have told him is real, and decides to keep quiet about it, keeping their secret.

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begins tomorrow!
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(Even Mister Worf is happy!)
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“Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Her five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilisations. To boldy go where no man has gone before!”

With these words, not just a television series but a true phenomenon began. The Star Trek franchise is now worth billions of dollars worldwide, and has spawned four sequels and to date twelve Hollywood movies, as well as countless other tie-ins and spinoffs. The first real television franchise, Star trek is shown somewhere in the world almost every minute, and there can be few people who have not seen at least one of its incarnations. Even for those who have never experienced it, the words “Kirk”, “Spock” and “Enterprise” all have meaning, and all relate to the programme that redefined television drama, and almost single-handedly gave birth to the era of television science-fiction.
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(Gene Roddenberry: the man who started it all)
Before Star Trek, TV was simple: the good guys chased the bad guys, caught them and said something pithy while smiling into the camera. That’s overgeneralising of course, but essentially that was the tried and trusted formula for TV, and it worked whether you had a cop show, a cowboy show, a comedy show or any other sort of show. It was a template, and with a very few exceptions writers wrote within that framework. Then came Star Trek. Rather than just be a chasing-aliens-and-space battles (which was surely not only envisioned but expected by executives when it was pitched to them), this series would take on the issues of the day, make political and social comment and attract far more than the expected geeky teenager audience, with its adherents eventually being academics, teachers, scientists and even astronauts.

Star Trek has become so deeply ingrained in the consciousness of the world that it is now not at all unusual for people to have their first kiss to it, conceive their first child to it, even name the child after a character in it. Weddings can now be full Starfleet affairs, and where this sort of thing would be, and was, looked on as at best weird and at worst sad, these days it is almost acceptable. The poor maligned Trekkies and Trekkers may not quite outnumber the “norms”, but we’re getting there. Star Trek conventions are big business, the actors all get great jobs with voiceovers and sponsorship, and many have received honorary doctorates when, really, they wouldn’t know one end of a microscope from another. But it’s not for what they know that these people have been honoured, it’s for what they were a part of, how Star Trek changed the lives of more people than anyone will ever know. Many Apollo astronauts have cited the programme as a reason they wanted to go into space, while cults and even religions have grown up around the franchise.
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(A "typical" Star Trek wedding)
I personally would consider myself a semi-hardcore Trekker. I’ve only been to one convention (and that wasn’t anything like I expected) and I don’t own a uniform (at least, not a Star Trek one! ;)) but I have watched all series (bar Enterprise) and can tell you most of what happens in every episode. I can argue the merits and failings of the Borg, Quark’s bar, Data’s approach to Shakespeare, or any other aspect you wish. I don’t go giving people the Vulcan salute (but I can do it: just) but I do often recall episodes or events in the series that I can use to parallel my own life. I’m certainly not a casual fan, but neither have I built Starfleet Academy in my back garden.

So here I’d like to take the month to look deeply into this amazing creation of one man --- or as deeply as I can in four weeks --- and try to give you a flavour of what it’s all about. I’ll be looking at episodes from all four main series as well as some of the movies, with articles on various aspects of the show and features on characters. If you haven’t seen the show before this could be a great introduction for you, and don’t be afraid to shout if you have questions.

But mostly I hope just to have fun here for the next month, exploring what it is that makes this originally only three-season, seventy-nine episode series such an enduring phenomenon, and why even now, nearly fifty years after its creation, it still has the power to enthrall, thrill and engage us. I should point out that, like everything in The Couch Potato, spoilers will abound, so if you’re getting into the series for the first time, be warned as there are major plot revelations all through these articles. There’s no point in my spoilering them, as it would just be impossible, so think carefully before you proceed. I don’t want to be held responsible for anyone’s disappointment later on.

Do be aware I am not covering the so-far most recent series, Enterprise, later Star Trek: Enterprise, for a range of reasons. Mostly because I didn't watch it all --- about half a season I think --- and what I did see gave me no hope it would get any better. I was bored by it, and while I can wax critical about Voyager, and it had some awful episodes, I can't ever really say it bored me on the same consistent level that Enterprise did. I didn't engage with any of the characters, least of all the captain, and I couldn't pick out one --- unlike the Doctor in Voyager --- who could have saved the series for me.

So, to all intents and purposes, although I of course know of it and wouldn't attempt to deny its existence, Enterprise is not a stop on our month-long journey. If you are a big fan and would like to write about it, drop me a line and I'll see what we can arrange. Otherwise, don't expect to see it covered here. It may be mentioned the odd time, but that will be about it. I apologise if you think it was a great series, but if so, then write about it for me here and try to show me how wrong I am. If not, then please just accept it will not be part of these proceedings.

So come with me now, as we beam aboard and begin our journey. Later on, we’ll rendezvous with the USS Nerdtopia as she begins her long mission to review that list of science-fiction movies I posted some time ago, but for now, let’s start off with the smaller screen, and nowhere better or more appropriate to begin than with the very first ever episode.

Ahead, warp factor five. Steady as she goes!
Welcome to
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(Note: In the light of the recent tragic death of Leonard Nimoy I wrestled briefly with the idea of either delaying this special, or even cancelling it altogether, but I came very quickly to the realisation that, as Spock himself said, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and some of you have been waiting for this. Well, that guy down there has, he told me so. Also, if I can allow myself some incredible self-indulgence, I’d like to think that if he’s looking down on us now, Leonard would want us to go on, and celebrate his life and his work rather than mourn his death. In the final analysis, and to be completely Vulcan about it, it’s surely the logical thing to do.)

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The Star Trek that hit television screens in February 1965 was not the first episode of the series made, that one actually not being aired till twenty years later, because at the time the network believed it was too beyond the limited attention span of the then-television audience to grasp and understand, or, as they put it succinctly, “too cerebral”. The original pilot was rejected and Gene Roddenberry had to go back and rethink, coming up with what would be the “proper” pilot to launch the series that would eventually become a worldwide phenomenon and lead to a global super-franchise the likes of which the world had literally never seen before. Star Trek was probably the first true “brand”, spawning everything from movies to lunchboxes and stickers to novels.

But as every true Trekker knows, “The Cage” is where it's at. It's the original, double-length pilot episode and it is so far removed from what the series would later become, and yet retains some elements of the future programme, that it really does deserve to be reviewed first. For those who are unaware, this original pilot featured: no Kirk (gasp!) no Scotty (double gasp!) no McCoy (triple gasp!) and no Spock (all gasped out now!) --- well, it did actually feature Spock, but a far different one to the classic character who would emerge as one of the series's, and science-fiction's as a whole, most enduring, respected and recognised characters.

Original Pilot: “The Cage”

The USS Enterprise investigates an old radio signal which seems to indicate that a ship, the SS Columbia went down in the Talos system. Or rather, it doesn't. Its captain, Christopher Pike, seems unconvinced that there could still be survivors down there after eighteen years, and is more concerned with completing his own mission. He tells Science Officer Spock to ignore it and continue on. The Captain is brooding about a recent mission in which some of his crew were killed, others injured, and they are now en route to the Vega colony to seek medical aid for those hurt. He is beginning to doubt his ability to command, and the burden of decision is weighing heavily on his shoulders. He is considering resigning his commission.

However just as he is discussing his options with the ship's doctor, Spock advises him that they have intercepted a follow-up message which confirms there are survivors on Talos IV, and he is now duty-bound to investigate. They set course for the planet. Once there, they do indeed come across a bunch of survivors, who just happen to have in their number a nubile sexy female, Vina, who leads Pike off on his own, whereupon it becomes clear that everything is an illusion as she and the “survivors” disappear, the rock face opens and from a door set into it emerge three alien beings with bulbous heads. One shoots Pike with a ray of some sort, and before his crew can get to him he is pulled inside the structure. The door remains stubbornly resistant to the phaser blasts the crew direct at it. Spock calls in to advise the ship that they have lost the captain.

Inside, Pike awakes to find he is inside some underground structure and trapped in (say it with me) a cage. He charges the transparent window but it rebuffs him as if it were made of the strongest steel. The three aliens who captured him now appear and communicate with each other telepathically, as they discuss him, and talk about beginning “the experiment” soon. Back on the ship, and against Spock's better judgement, the female Number One agrees to try blasting the rockface with the ship's phasers. In a move that would become typical of later episodes, and series, the aliens manipulate Pike's mind to create a scene out of his memory --- the one about which he was agonising on the ship, in which some crew were killed --- and provide a female for him to rescue, pitting him against an implacable enemy. Whatever else he is, Pike is not an idiot and realises it's a construct taken from his mind, but the human survival imperative is so strong that he finds himself fighting, both to protect the girl (who was missing from his original mission) and himself. After all, he doesn't know how real this could get, or how far his captors are willing to go.

When the simulation ends though, with Pike victorious, the woman is suddenly in the cage with him. She eyes the Talosians a moment before they depart, and then she tries to seduce Pike, saying she can be anyone or anything he wants, but he rebuffs her advances, trying instead to gain some information about his captors. The first obligation of a prisoner is to seduce the woman he's imprisoned with ... oh, sorry. Was reading from the wrong book there. How did Captain Kirk's Guide to Alien Babesl get here? Sorry. I meant of course the obligation is to escape, and this is what he is trying to do.

Oddly enough, Number One and Spock have, instead of using the ship's phasers from space, transported down a large heavy weapon which they have set up outside the door through which Pike was abducted. Naturally, they have as little success here as they had with their hand weapons. Vina explains that the Talosians used to live on the surface of the planet but that war drove them underground and the surface is only now becoming habitable. They search the galaxy for specimens and lure them here, probe their minds and seem to be interested in procreation (ain't we all?) but suddenly she starts screaming and vanishes. Pike discovers that strong emotion can overpower or block out the Talosians' control of him, as they tell him that the girl who shared his cage is real, the only survivor of the ship whose distress call they picked up. Again the Talosians create a scene from Pike's mind, this time an idyllic fantasy of his dream of retiring, then they change the scenario and she's an Orion slave girl.

Meanwhile, the landing party from the Enterprise finds that only the two women --- a yeoman and Number One --- are allowed transport down, and these two find themselves in the cage with Pike. The Talosians now tell him he has a choice of three women to breed with, including the original one. Pike fills his mind with dark images but still can't break out of the cage. On the Enterprise Spock prepares to leave but finds that all power appears to have failed, and they are going nowhere. When Pike manages to get the drop on one of the Talosians he is told that they will destroy the Enterprise if he does not let him go, but he gambles that “you're too intelligent to kill for no reason”, and indeed the scientific nature of the beings is proven to triumph, as they allow, under duress, Pike to see that the “hand-lasers” not working was just an illusion: a hole has been blasted in the wall after all. They head out.

Once on the surface of the planet they are told that the Talosians wish them to begin reclaiming the planet, Pike fathering a race who will exist to serve the aliens and make the planet a home for them again. The captain bargains with their captor: send his two crewmembers back to the ship, and assure its safety, and he will remain behind with Vina. But Number One has other ideas, and sets her phaser to overload, willing to kill them all rather than be part of bringing up a race of slave humans. When the Talosians assimilate the records of the Enterprise and learn of humanity's hatred for captivity they decide that they are unsuitable for their purposes, and allow the humans to leave.

Vina, however, is condemned to remain on the planet; her beauty is an illusion. The Talosians reconstructed her from the crash, but had no model to go from and so she is, shall we say, less than pretty? If she leaves, the illusion will be broken. The Talosians allow her to regain her beauty through the illusion, and also give her an illusory Pike to spend her days with. The crew leave the planet and head off into space. And back to the dole. ;)

QUOTES
Doctor: “You're tired.”
Pike: “You bet I'm tired! I'm tired of being responsible for 203 lives, tired of deciding which mission is too risky and which isn't, and who goes on a landing party, and who lives and who dies.”

Pike: “Now you're beginning to sound more like a doctor, bartender.”
Doctor: “We both get the same sort of customers, the living and the dying.”

Pike: “She does a good enough job, it's just that I can't get used to a woman on the bridge. Oh, sorry Lieutenant!” (Looking at his Number One, who arches her eyebrow coldly. “You're different, of course!”

Survivor: “This is Vina. Her parents are dead. She was born almost as we crashed.”
(That must have been a tough childbirth!)

Alien I: “It appears, Magistrate, that the specimen's intelligence is shockingly limited”
Magistrate: “This is no surprise, as its vessel was baited here so easily with a simple simulated message. As you can read in its thoughts, it is only now beginning to realise that the survivors' encampment was a simple illusion that we placed in their minds.”

Vina: “When dreams become more important than reality, you give up travelling, building, creating, you even forget how to operate the machines left behind by your ancestors.”

Vina: “He doesn't need you. He's already chosen me.”
Yeoman: “Chosen her? For what? I don't understand!”
Vina: “Now there's a fine choice for intelligent offspring!”
Yeoman: “Offspring? As in children?”
Number One: “Offspring, as in, he's Adam? Is that it?”
Vina: “You're no better choice. They'd have more luck crossing him with a computer!”

Yeoman: “Sir? I was just wondering, just curious: who would have been Eve?”

Ch-ch-ch-changes
Well, obviously. This episode doesn't really tie in with the rest of the Star Trek canon, though it would be revisited in the first season for an episode that would tie up the loose ends and bring Pike back, albeit much older and played by another actor. But there are so many changes here that occurred between this episode and the next, the true pilot for the series, that it's almost self-defeating to list them. Among the important ones though are:

Pike was replaced of course by Kirk.

Spock was played and written in a far less excitable manner (yeah, seriously: you want to see Spock as you've never seen him before? Check this episode out!) and made much cooler and logical. He was also made Kirk's second in command.

None of the crew apart from Spock (and to some degree Number One, though in a different role) survive the pilot and are completely rewritten and recast for the next episode. I don't mean they die: nobody does, but they are considered surplus to requirements and all kicked off the show. How they must feel like the guy who left the Beatles, or the guy who refused to sign The Rolling Stones!

The red alert sound was fixed; here it sounds like a mouse laughing.

The crew complement began at 203 but eventually settled at around 450.

The word “phaser” has yet to be coined: here, the weapons are “hand lasers”.

The main propulsion is called “hyperdrive”, with the factor called “time warp” (don't! Just don't, okay?) and the backup system, rather than being impulse power as it would soon come to be known as, is simply referred to as “rockets”. :rolleyes:

Some things never change
There are those facets of the show however which were carried forward. Though Roddenberry would struggle for several episodes --- almost right through the first season, in fact --- to decide what to call headquarters (from “Space Command” to “Star Control” and so on, till he eventually settled on “Starfleet Command”) he had the idea of “M” class planets here, a planet with a breathable atmosphere, though that may have come from astrophysics, I don't know. But it is a designation that was carried not only through Star Trek, but the rest of the franchise over the decades.

Interestingly, the word “Engage!” is used for the first time here, and would not be uttered again for another thirty years. When Kirk ordered a course, he just said “Ahead, Warp Factor 5” or whatever. It wasn't until Picard arrived in Star Trek: The Next Generation that he began using the phrase to execute the command. I wonder why they initially dropped it, when it later became so popular? Perhaps Roddenberry was anxious to sever as many ties with the original, rejected pilot as possible.

Even in this first episode, they used the term “landing party” to refer to a group of the crew who would transport down to a planet and explore.

Aliens!
Yes, the Trek universe was chock-full of them. You couldn't move without bumping into an Andorian or annoying a Klingon, and that spot of light on the wall could be a malevolent intelligence from a far distant galaxy. Here, there's a mixture of decent and quite crappy aliens.

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Talosians: The aliens who lured the Enterprise here, and who capture and experiment on Pike, are good for the time. They're much taller than humans, have large heads somewhat akin to lightbulbs and their gigantic brains are laced with a tracery of veins which can be seen from the outside. They also communicate telepathically, something which I think was a first for science-fiction, at least on TV, and they have such low regard for Pike that they view him as something less than a lab rat. They're cleverly made up too, that their flowing robes cover their feet and so when they move they seem almost to glide.

(um, never named I think?): The enemy Pike faces in the dreamworld, however, is pathetic, nothing more than a tall man with a beard and some blacked-out teeth. Oooh! Scary!

Reasons not to be cheerful!
So why did the pilot fail? What was it that led to the network rejecting it, and what was it in the second one that caught their interest? You'd have to say that a lot of it lies in the characterisation, or I should say, lack of it. The main thing here is that you can't really care about anyone, from the captain down to the annoying “Happy Days”-like navigator. Nobody interacts with anyone. Nobody seems to be related or have anything to do with anyone. Number One is cold, almost mannish, obviously fiercely defending what we can assume to be the first, perhaps only, position of second-in-command on a starship, if what Pike says is true. The Doctor seems more interested in getting the captain drunk, and even Spock is hard to care about, though you can see his leadership qualities beginning to surface even this early.

And what of Pike? He plays the role so straight-laced, so lantern-jawed and with a constant scowl of derision on his face that you sort of hope he gets killed. There's nothing attractive about him: oh, as a man I guess he's handsome and strong, but there's no ... charisma about him. It's hard to believe that this is a man whom others would follow into battle, and his self-doubt about his own position does nothing to endear him to us, unlike Benjamin Sisko in the pilot of “Star Trek: Deep Space 9” decades later. He never smiles, he never relaxes, he never seems to be “off”. His commands are given with an almost scathing authority, like a sergeant major, whereas when Kirk, later, commands, it always seems like his crew are happy to oblige. It's their job, their duty, yes, but they always seem like it's no trouble and there's no resentment there. Pike, to me, does not carry the mantle of authority on his shoulders in the same easy, affable way that Shatner as Kirk would later. Even when Vina vanishes, screaming of being punished, his eyes betray barely a flicker of emotion. He doesn't shout “Leave her alone! Take me!” as we know Jim Kirk would in his place. To be honest, the only time we see him show any genuine emotion is when the Talosians punish him, making him feel like he is on fire.

But it's not just the cast, though they really are not up to this task at all. The story, too, is a little hard to follow, or would have been, for audiences spoonfed on the likes of I love Lucy, Dragnet and The High Chapperal, series that really required little or no thought, and in which everything that needed to be explained was explained. If Little Joe went off the Ponderosa to track down Indians, you knew what he was doing. If Lucy got in an argument with a traffic cop, it was simple and straightforward. But here, not only does Roddenberry begin in the middle, as it were --- the Enterprise is supposedly heading home after a disastrous mission --- he spends no time introducing the characters, even naming many of them, and expects us to know who they are. Who is the guy in the Happy Days hair? Who is the doctor? Nobody knows. Or, indeed, cares.

Then he brings in the idea of telepathy and humans being used as experimental animals. It would have been a hard concept for the American television audiences of the sixties to grasp, and though he tries to explain it through Pike, Jeffrey Hunter just does not possess the screen magnetism to make people listen to him. Though he's the central character, most of the time he seems to be almost muttering to himself, and his facial expressions don't help; this is not the face of a man you really want to listen to, much less trust. He's also way too All-American-Blue-Eyed-Boy. When the girl offers to “become anything, be anyone” he wants, he stands there, jaw jutting out so far you could build a pier on it, eyes steely and straight, rejecting the idea out of hand. He doesn't even consider it. What man would not, if even for a moment, waver in the face of such fantasy? But Pike is untouchable, unreachable, cold and hard and unflinching, and he is not as other men. Now, put Kirk in that situation...

Look at Spock too. When he realises there is no way to get down to the planet, does he put that superior Vulcan mind into overdrive? No. He decides to bail on the captain and first officer, and tries to run. He rationalises it as “the safety of this ship is paramount”, but isn't this a case of “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”? Yeah, but Spock, the Spock we came to know, would never abandon his captain, at least, not without a plan to return and save him. Again, Spock gives no indication that he has any friendship with Pike, that he cares about him any more than any other member of the crew. And if these people don't care for each other, how can we be expected to care for them? This is something Roddenberry addresses quickly in the “re-pilot”: from the off, we see not crewmembers but friends, not subordinates but comrades. Kirk genuinely cares for his crew, and they respect and admire him. Pike? He can just fuck off: nobody cares, including me.

Oops!
Even after the failure of the first pilot, fame could have been Jeffrey Hunter's for the taking. I personally think his wooden acting in this pilot should have precluded him from any future episodes, but it turns out that he was required to reprise the role should the network pick up the series. As they rejected it though, he was not expected to take the role in the second, more successful pilot which led to the series being taken up. Although Roddenberry was said to have no animosity towards Hunter, the wife of the man who could have been Kirk seems to have been the main obstacle standing in his way, declaring haughtily “Jeffrey Hunter is a film actor: he does not do television!” Stupid bint by that single statement deprived her husband of what could have been, in effect, immortality. Who does not, after all, recognise the name James Kirk?

But Hunter stuck to his guns and, even though he went against his wife's wishes a year later and wrote a pilot for another thriller series which the network passed on, he ended up with parts in mostly foreign B-movies, and he died in 1969, just as the series he had initially helped to get off the ground, if stumblingly, was beginning to find its space legs. It's ironic that, had he sat for the second pilot, it too may have been rejected and Star Trek never been, as I really feel that much of the antipathy directed towards the pilot was down to his mechanical, deadpan acting, something that belonged more in the Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers morning television serials of the thirties, as well as perhaps western series and some detective ones. Emotion was what eventually brought Star Trek to life and allowed it to stand out from its peers, and become the colossus it did. Jeffrey Hunter was not to be part of that, and though we can feel sorry for him for having missed what was literally a once in a lifetime opportunity, I personally can't say I'm sorry, as I felt he brought nothing to the role.

In what could have been a blunder of monumental proportions, the network advised Roddenberry to “get rid of the guy with the ears”, little realising that it would be Spock who would come to crystallise the idea of Star Trek and represent the series, as Nimoy grew into his rewritten role and became not only the new captain's indispensable right-hand man, but also his fast friend. Star Trek without Spock would have been good, but with the Vulcan it was great and destined to become a true classic.

Messages
One of the core differences between Star Trek and other series at the time was Roddenberry's intent of delivering important social and political messages through the medium of his show. Although his view of the future turned out to be a little too Utopian, too rose-tinged for reality --- as later partially addressed by its successor series, The Next Generation and more widely by its descendant, Deep Space 9 --- he did channel some important messages, such as the need to resist tyrants, the importance of keeping one's integrity and a basic compassion for all life, no matter its race or colour.

Which makes it all the stranger that here, it is the reliance on strong, brutal, primitive emotions that proves to be the one weapon the Talosians cannot control. When Pike fills his mind with images of hate, murder, anger, he can block the telepathic influence of his captors. This leads, to me anyway, to an uncomfortable conclusion: that the more primitive emotions are what make man unique and help him survive, and there's no doubting that: timid cavemen did not last long. But in this enlightened future (I believe no time is specified, but we know from later episodes that the series takes place in the 22nd century) you would expect such imperatives to be less, not more important. As a matter of fact, Roddenberry and his writers would address this, or I should say redress it, in season three's Day of the dove, where a malevolent alien intelligence, intent on pitting the humans against their enemies and each other, finds itself defeated by ... laughter.

That's more like it.

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What makes a good series? Decent writing, good plots, good dialogue, yes all of these. But if you don't have characters people can engage with then you may as well call it a day, as the original pilot for TOS found out. Here I'll be dipping into the series (all four) and sketching a brief outline of characters, some major, some minor, but all integral to the success of each show and the franchise as a whole.

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Name: Worf, son of Mogh
Race: Klingon
Born: Quo’nos
Assignment: NCC-1701D as Security and Tactical Chief, then Deep Space 9 as Chief of Operations and later Executive Officer of the Defiant.
Marital status: Widowed
Family: Mogh (Father, deceased), Sergey Rozhenko (Foster father), Helena Rozhenko (Foster mother), Kurn (brother), K’Ehleyr (Mate, deceased), Alexander (son), Jadzia Dax (Wife, deceased)
Important episodes: (TNG) Heart of glory, The emissary, Birthright, Sins of the father, Redemption, Reunion, Rightful heir (DS9) The Way of the Warrior, The sword of Kahless, Sons of Mogh, Broken link, Apocalypse rising, Favor the bold, Sacrifice of angels, Looking for par’Mach in all the wrong places, You are cordially invited…, Change of heart, Tears of the Prophets, Shadows and symbols, Tacking into the wind

After his parents were killed in the Romulan attack on the Khitomer outpost, Worf was taken in by a human Starfleet officer and his wife, who treated him as their own child and brought him up on their home planet. As they were human, Worf learned a lot about the race and when it came time to choose his career decided to enlist in Starfleet, as a way of repaying the agency by which his life had been saved. In this, he was making history, as no Klingon had ever, or has ever since, served in Starfleet. This would however put him on something of a collision course with his own people, for although Sarek opposed Spock’s joining Starfleet, and made no bones about letting his son know of his displeasure, Worf’s father was dead and his foster father supported his decision. However, to the rest of his kind he was the closest thing to a traitor, or at least not fit to be among them, serving with the race against whom the Klingons had struggled for over seventy years.

Worf begins his tour of duty on Captain Picard’s USS Enterprise, where he is the tactical officer, but on the death of Lieutenant Tasha Yar in “Skin of evil” he is promoted to Security Chief, a post he holds until he is transferred to Deep Space 9, initially temporarily but the posting turns out to be permanent. Worf has romantic liaisons on the Enterprise, firstly with his mate, K’Ehleyr, with whom he had fathered their son, Alexander, and later with Deanna Troi after K’Ehleyr’s death. When he is injured and paralysed, he asks Deanna to look after his son, intending to take his own life. After he survives an experimental procedure that completely restores his health (yawn!) he becomes romantically involved with Deanna, realising he has feelings for her. He requests Riker’s permission to court her, believing that anything else would be dishonourable to him, his friend and Deanna. He ends this relationship when he is reassigned.

Worf often finds it hard to fit in, being dour and unsmiling as a Klingon and finding human humour, like Data, hard to comprehend and thus to join in with. He is befriended by Guinan, the ship’s bartender, who introduces him to prune juice, a beverage he consumes for the rest of his life, and tries to make him laugh. She’s very annoying. On Deep Space 9 he meets Jadzia Dax, who quickly becomes his next conquest (“She is glorious!”) and in fact puts her before his duty later, when her life is in danger and to save her he must abandon his mission. Defending his father’s honour when Mogh is accused of being a traitor, Worf accepts “discommodation” to preserve the empire. This means that he is shunned by every Klingon; even his own brother must turn his back on him. Some time later he is able to redress the situation and is accepted back into the fold. He eventually leaves Starfleet, taking up his new position as Federation ambassador to Quo’nos.

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Being a science-fiction and space exploration series, Star Trek is of course home to many varied and interesting alien races, all of whom have to come from somewhere, so in this section I’ll be giving you the ten-dollar tour of some of the worlds in the Trekverse.
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Name: Ferenginar
Alignment: Neutral
Home to: Ferengi race
Capital City: Ferenginar
Orbital Star: Ventarus Idrilon, M-class

If there is one place in the world where it rains more than in Ireland, it’s the Ferengi homeworld. Torrential rains teem down both night and day, necessitating the building of domes to prevent its inhabitants drowning. The constant lash and patter of rain is a sound so endemic to Ferenginar that those who live there probably don’t even hear it, fading into the background, and when they leave their home planet it must come as something of a shock to see worlds that are dry. The damp, dreary, dismal atmosphere on the planet is pretty much well suited to a people whose lives are rules by figures, profit and loss, calculations and money matters. The Ferengi are a sort of cross between a race of accountants and entrepreneurs, and the miserable weather on Ferenginar is most likely part of the reason many of them leave to seek opportunities beyond their home planet.

The biggest and most imposing and well-known landmark on Ferenginar is The Tower of Commerce. It stands high above any other buildings in the centre of the Sacred Marketplace, and is where all official business is conducted, and also where the ruler of the planet, the Grand Nagus, dispenses financial advice and makes the laws that govern the planet. It is home too to the offices of the Ferengi Commerce Authority, the FCA, who must approve or ban any business venture undertaken by a Ferengi, with the requisite cut for them of course. The Tower has also been used as a place of execution, with offenders taken to the roof and thrown off.

Other landmarks include The Nagal Residence, the palatial home of the Grand Nagus, Mount Tubatuba, a volcano and the Vorp Memorial, a monument to Vorp, one of the planet’s greatest and most tragic innovators. Other than that most of the planet is unremarkable, consisting of mostly swamps, rotting vegetation and rivers of muck. Nice place!

Even the best show ever written is bound to have one or two bad episodes, and with a total of over four hundred episodes between all four series, Star Trek has certainly seen some total turkeys over its run. Here I'll be presenting a few; I had intended originally to make a toplist, but sure I can't tell if "Spirit folk" is worse than "The Omega Factor", or if "Fascination" trumps "Masks" in absurdity and bad writing, so I'll just list them in no order. I will however rate them, the usual one to five, with in this instance five being the worst possible and one being mildly bad. To illustrate this, I'll be using icons of one of the most disliked Star Trek characters ever.
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Title: "Starship mine"
Series: TNG
Season: Six
Writer(s): Morgan Grendel
Main character(s): Picard
Plot: Picard has to go all Die-Hard to save his ship from terrorists. No, really.

There's nothing terribly wrong about this episode, compared to many of the others that will populate this section, but at its heart this is "Die Hard" in space. Well, spacedock. While the rest of the crew are attending a lavish reception (sound familiar?) Picard returns to his ship, which is being decontaminated, and finds that a group of terrorists are using the opportunity to harvest the chemical from the ship's engines to make into bombs and sell to the highest bidder.

Lord preserve us! It's an all-action episode to be sure, but really, it's far below what TNG was capable of and with a few tweaks it could have been on Criminal Minds, NCIS or any other action cop show. It does give Picard a central role, which he did not always have, and a chance to action-hero it up, but the rest of the crew being held hostage while he does his thing is just way too close to every Bruce Willis movie you've ever seen to be forgiven.

It's odd, too, because the episode was written by Morgan Grendel, who penned the superlative "The inner light" for the previous season. Maybe working on Nash Bridges, 21 Jump Street and Law and Order affected him more than he would like to admit!

The episode is marked by the first ever appearance of Tim Russ as one of the terrorists, who would go on to become Tuvok later in VOY. But nobody cares about that.

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Title: “Explorers”
Series: DS9
Season: Three
Writer(s): Rene Echevarria and Hilary J. Bader
Main character(s): Sisko and Jake
Plot: Sisko decides to see if the ancient Bajorans were able to harness the energy of solar wind power to YAWWWNNNN (sorry, sorry) um, sail across the stars.

Yeah, the above says it all really. Wanting to bond with his son, believing they aren’t spending enough time together Sisko works on an exact duplicate of the solar ship the ancient Bajorans apparently used to sail between planets. He wants to see if it’s possible, and Jake, having a brain and something of a life, is reluctant to accompany him. It’s very much a character-driven episode, but whereas these can be really well written and deep, this is, well, not. It’s like that one where Wesley has to spend hours inside a shuttlecraft with Picard, and they get to know each other better. Really, who gives a shit? We want conflict, space battle, aliens, political upheaval, not two boring bastards having a family moment as they drift across space.

Nothing happens in the episode. Literally. Nothing. Whereas they could have been attacked, or discovered a new moon, or contacted some alien lifeform who became interested in their ship (Fuck it, I don’t know: they could! Something could have happened) none of the above happens and the most interesting and exciting part of the episode is when they start to slightly drift off course and Jake has to main the sails. Jesus Christ on toast! Is this The Onedin Line in space or what? Bo-ring. I mean, come on, let’s be honest: who gives a rat’s ass what the ancient Bajorans did? The current ones are boring enough.

Written by (well the teleplay anyway) Rene Echevarria, who also penned the drivel that is “I, Borg” for TNG, demystifying and emasculating the most badass aliens ever to threaten a Federation starship. He did however create the series The 4400, though on the other side of the coin he was also showrunner on Spielberg’s borefest Terra Nova.

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Title: “Turnabout intruder”
Series: TOS
Season: Three
Writer(s): Gene Roddenberry and Arthur H. Singer
Main character(s): Kirk
Plot: After she uses an alien machine to bodyswap with Kirk, Dr. Janice Lester attempts to take over the Enterprise and have Kirk committed or killed.

Could there be a more misogynistic episode of any series? It gets something of a pass, being the final episode of the series but still. The idea of this woman taking over Kirk’s body and then “betraying herself” by her “emotional and irrational” behaviour --- typical woman! --- is both ludicrous and offensive. What Roddenberry was saying, basically, here, or at least the message that came across from it was that women are highly-strung, emotional creatures not fit for command. Now that may have flown and been acceptable in the sixties, but really, could you be more insulting to fifty percent of the world’s population? No wonder early Trek had few female viewers! Mind you, Roddenberry’s chauvinistic view of women has already been well explored, not least in the attire of the female crew and the lack of any women in positions of command, but even for him this is a new low, and a terrible way to sign off.

It does afford Kirk the chance to indulge himself, playing essentially two people, as he had in “Mirror, mirror” and “The enemy within”. and though he hams it up he’s not bad. Lester, played by Sandra Smith, is actually the better actor here, keeping calm (though of course she is meant to be Kirk) until she is transferred back (with very little scientific explanation) at the end, whereupon she goes totally mad. Her insane decree that Kirk, Spock and Scotty are to be executed --- yes, you read that right: executed --- is the final straw that tips the balance, but it’s ridiculous that the crew go along with such a wild and un-Kirklike order. Very little to save this episode, and as I said, it’s an awful end to a superb series.

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Title: “Skin of evil”
Series: TNG
Season: One
Writer(s): Hannah Louise Shearer and Joseph L. Scanlan
Main character(s): Troi, Picard
Plot: After crashlanding on a remote asteroid, Troi is trapped in the wreckage of a shuttlecraft, but when the Enterprise crew come to rescue her they are stopped by an alien being. Why? Why not…

Oh there are some awful episodes in season one, and I could have chosen any of half a dozen or more, some of which will feature here in due course. But this one takes the proto-biscuit for just being a case of “why the fuck?” There’s no explanation given for where Armus, the alien who looks like a cross between liquid Terminator II and a jawa, came from, why it behaves as it does, or even how the crew, who appear trapped by it, escape in the end. Sirtis puts in a decent performance in her limited role, but the bulk of the episode goes to Picard really, as he tries to reason with, and then sneers at Armus. Riker’s drowning-in-a-pool-of-oil is a well done scene but ultimately pointless, as indeed is the whole episode.

Of course, if this episode is remarkable or memorable for anything, it is the sudden, unexpected and pointless death of security chief Tasha Yar, a shamelessly lazy device to have the actress released from her contract at her request. I didn’t particularly like Yar, but we had grown accustomed to her, and for her to die in this grossly “Redshirt” manner was a bit of a kick in the teeth to we fans, I feel. There is at least the touching eulogy and funeral ceremony at the end, which does its best to save the episode but it is well beyond salvation from the moment we meet Armus, and the fact that Picard literally just shrugs his shoulders and says “Fuck you” to the alien and leaves, when the whole idea has been built up that he can not leave, is being restrained here, just makes me roll my eyes. Awful, awful episode.

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