The Batlord

What's the difference between famous and well-known? And your Uhura pic is showing up as a broken link.

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Trollheart

I don't know: I guess famous might mean everyone knows them whereas well-known might be many people know them. David Beckham, a star in football here for many years, was virtually unknown in the USA until he joined LA Galaxy, so maybe he's an example. Or not. Leave me alone, it's Christmas you bastard!

That Uhura pic is fixed now. This your revenge for my pointing out all the broken links in your journal last week AND humiliating you in the "Post of the Week" huh?

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The Batlord

This is par for the course. If there's a bit of revenge, then that's just a bonus.

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Trollheart

For all the slagging off I have given it --- and will continue to give it, through next year --- there's no doubt that some of the episodes of Seth MacFarlane's sister show (I suppose I should say brother, shouldn't I? Screw that!) to Family Guy are terrific, and one thing they certainly know how to do in Langley Falls is Christmas. Whereas the other show's Christmas show was a hodge-podge of Kiss-related in-jokes and some ripping off of the Simpsons (how surprising!), American Dad just went right out there with their festive shows, the one I want to look at being their fourth, broadcast in the middle of the sixth (or seventh, if you're in America) season.

American Dad: “For whom the sleigh bell tolls”
(Again, sorry, no video on YouTube)

It's, you know, Christmas, and Stan is getting increasingly annoyed about the childlike wonder displayed by Jeff, even though he's now married to his daughter. Jeff still believes in Santa Claus, and while Haley thinks this is wonderful, Stan is contemptuous of the man. Does he want to remain a child forever? Francine is worried when her husband tells her he plans to get Steve a gun for Christmas. She makes Stan promise not to, but of course he goes ahead and does so anyway. Steve is less than impressed: he's hardly the gun type. Roger, unable to make an eggnog that can get him drunk, is told of a mysterious legendary moonshiner who lives atop a mountain and may be able to help him.

Stan takes Steve shooting, but when he aims at a snowman in a mall (why? It's a bloody machine gun for Chrissakes? There are children and women about! This is Stan for ya) he accidentally kills a mall Santa. He tries to hide the fact from his wife but Francine discovers the body, which Stan has put in his car while he tries to run the guy's fingerprints. Oddly, the CIA database doesn't seem to have them. Unwilling to have her Christmas ruined, Francine suggests burying the body in the woods. Roger finds the old moonshiner, who goes by the name of Bob Tod. He says he will show Roger how to brew the strongest whiskey on Earth.

Meanwhile, the family start getting mysterious messages claiming to know what they did, and when it becomes apparent that there is no Christmas spirit in Langley Falls, they begin to worry that the mall Santa Steve killed could be ... the real Santa Claus? When they return to the grave they find to their shock that it is empty. Then an elf appears, mounted on a roaring, fierce stag, and tells them that although it was the real Santa they shot, he is not dead but recovering at the North Pole. The elf grins, promising that Santa will return on Christmas Eve to kill them all.

Roger offers them shelter at Bob Tod's. The moonshiner has no love for Santa, and helps them when Jolly Old Saint Nick attacks. Jeff joins them, but when Stan finds out that the reason Santa was able to find them in their hideout is that Jeff told him where to deliver his present, he throws Hayley's husband out of the shack as the hordes of Santa descend, vengeance in their hearts. He comes back though and asks to help them fight, but just then Santa woos him away with a horned helmet he had asked for on his Christmas List. Torn between staying with his wife and accepting his present --- (“You don't have to die with the Smiths, Jeff! You're a GOOD little boy!”) --- he goes to Santa, dons the helmet as Stan snarls at him that he knew he was not good enough for his daughter, then headbutts Santa, who falls, wounded, while Jeff runs back to help Stan.

Seeing Jeff has risked his life to save him, even though he does not like him, Stan finds a new appreciation for Jeff and he is finally accepted into the family. They prepare to go out fighting --- “Whaddya say we go out there, Jeff, and die as a family?” --- but just as it seems they will be overwhelmed by superior numbers, Christmas Day dawns. Santa snarls that he only had till this point to eliminate the Smiths, and retreats in fury to the North Pole, wounded but swearing to return next year to finish the job.

(There are a lot of things wrong with this episode, many dichotomies but you'll have to wait till I get to it in the Dad vs Dad feature before I'll talk about them, otherwise it'll be Christmas and I'll have nothing else written!)

QUOTES
Stan: “Just because you married him does not make him part of this family.”
Hayley: “Actually, it does, dad. And you need to get used to that.”

Francine: “I got wooden clogs to put around the Christmas tree. I'm starting a new Christmas tradition.”
Stan: “What was wrong with our old one? Allowing homeless people to smell our napkins after Christmas dinner?”

Stan: “Relax, Steve. Part of gun ownership is killing people accidentally.”

Jeff: “I wanna help, Mister S.”
Stan: “You want to help, Jeff? Stand here and shield me from arrows until you die!”

Francine (reading Santa's parting note): “You were lucky this time, Smiths. But I'll be back next year to kill you. Oh my God! Looks like we found our new Christmas tradition!”

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Trollheart

Time for our last round before The Big Day. Three more Scrooges to criticise and analyse, all quite different from each other...
Year: 1977
Medium: Colour
Starring: Michael Hordern, Jon Le Mesurier
Directed by:
Length: 59 mins

Brief comments: A typical BBC 70s drama; quite bland, cheap and dour. More like a play than anything else. Although it's in colour you could be forgiven for thinking it wasn't, as the colour is so washed-out, but I guess it adds to the overall period flavour of the story. The awful cheapness of the dramatisation shows when, taken to the place he grew up in by the Ghost of Christmas Past, he sees only a drawing. There is no scene where he and the ghost enter the building.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Dull, confused and somewhat doddery, Hordern seems to mouth the words without really having any conviction. He does not come across as mean, merely old. 4
Marley: More or less the same. Le Mesurier always evinced a sort of bored resignation in his acting, even when he did comedy, and here he carries the same cloak of ennui around him, resulting in a figure who is neither tragic nor scary, but again just bored. The effects are very poor for the seventies too. 4
Cratchit: Not too annoying, played well. Say 6
Tiny Tim: Almost nonexistent, which is a plus, but still. 2 only.
Others: n/a
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: All right but she seems quite hard, not at all sympathetic. I can only give her a 3
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Very grumpy, but at least his version includes Want and Ignorance, so gets a 4
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: The usual. Unfortunately, the guy playing him seems more concerned that his hood might fall down than he is of being scary, or mysterious, so gives the impression of slouching along. Very poor, even for the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. 3

Faithful to the novel: Very much, follow it more or less exactly, which is admirable given the relatively short length of the production. 8
Emotion level: Zero
Puke level: Almost Zero, but they had to have Tiny Tim sing, didn't they? -1
Horror level: Zero
Soundtrack: Mostly none, but what there is is typical BBC drama fare, reminiscent of the likes of Sapphire and Steel or Tales of the Unexpected. Say a 4

So, a total then of 37. Any additions? Well, Le Mesurier is in it, as is June Brown, well known to British people as Dot in the popular soap opera Eastenders, so that's another 10. IMDB credits Brian Blessed with the narration, but I'll be damned if I can find any in this production, so I can't include him. That makes a total then of 47.

Year: 1983
Medium: Colour (Animated)
Starring: Um. Mickey Mouse?
Directed by: Burny Mattinson
Length: 26 mins

Brief comments: The first really major animation, “Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol” notwithstanding, to play the story against an already well-known cast of characters, in this case the Disney stable of Donald Duck, Goofy, Scrooge McDuck and of course Mickey himself. A major animated colossus and one that would set the trend for further adaptations of the tale in years to come, and also open up the story to the true world of animation.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Ah, who else could it be but Scrooge McDuck? You gotta love the old miser, and he has some great lines --- “Jacob Marley: you robbed from the widows and the poor, sometimes in the same day!” Very odd to hear Scrooge talk in a Scottish accent, but then that's Scrooge McDuck for ya! Gotta give him a good 8 easily.
Marley: Goddammit it's Goofy! And how does a supposed spirit slip on a cane and fall down the stairs? Gimme strength! A low 2
Cratchit: Much as I hate Mickey Mouse, he does a very passable and not annoying Cratchit, so I'm grudgingly awarding him a good 7 here
Tiny Tim: Only in the story for one scene but quite cute. A good 7 too.
Others: Have to mention my good friend Donald Duck, as Fred. Just for his hilarious voice, and the fact that he's wearing his sailor suit even in this, I'm awarding him a 9
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: Jiminy Fucking Cricket? Oh come on! Have they chosen all my least favourite Disney characters? Still, the idea of Scrooge's conscience being one of the ghosts is clever, so I'll give him a 5
The Ghost of Christmas Present: A somewhat retarded giant. Pretty stupid really. 3
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Just for the end scene, and the fact he smokes AND speaks, which none of the others did, I have to award him a high 7.

Faithful to the novel: Yeah, pretty much so, though due to the running time there are elements omitted. Still, a decent 7 here.
Emotion level: Zero
Puke level: Disney cartoons often have the terrible cutesy-poo factor but this one doesn't make me want to retch, so zero here
Horror level: Are you fucking kidding me? Zero, obviously.
Soundtrack: Standard Disney/cartoon music, but I'll award them extra points for resisting the urge to throw in some songs; there's just one at the opening credits. So overall a 7.

That's a total then of 62. Not bad, but then surely I have to give points for the excellent animation, so 5 for that, and the humour in it is very clever too, even if it is standard Disney, so another 5 for that, give us a
Grand Total of 72

Year: 1984
Medium: Colour
Starring: George C. Scott, Frank Finlay, Susannah York, David Warner
Directed by: Clive Donner
Length: 100 mins

Brief comments: After the musical 1970 version, this is the first one to feature so many stars, and so has become one of the best-known. It's also the longest I've watched up to now. The sequences with the Ghost of Christmas Past are complete; they include all the events, which some of the other movies miss out. There are also some interesting touches, such as Scrooge's father still being cold towards him, and Scrooge himself accusing Fred of employing Peter just to spite him.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Considering that we're talking about George C. Scott here, it's a very disappointing performance. Scott does not seem very interested in the role, he displays little emotion and seems to more or less phone it in. He doesn't even get caught up in the game at Fred's; whereas other Scrooges begged to be allowed stay (and were not) he goes almost with a shrug of his shoulders. In truth, he only really starts to bother acting at the graveyard scene. After that he's more animated, but given that so much of his acting up to that point is so poor, and a big let-down, I can only in fairness award him a 5.
Marley: Very imposing, quite scary in his way and played extremely well by Frank Finlay. A good 8 for him.
Cratchit: Ah it's David Warner! Need I say more? The man brings a gravitas and dignity to the role that nobody else has to date, and I actually feel for the guy. Got to be a 10, and I never thought I would award that.
Tiny Tim: Hardly in the story really, and doesn't sing, so that in itself gets him a proper 5
Others: Susannah York is very good in the role of Mrs Cratchit; have to give her a 5 for that too.
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: Well played but there's that hardness again. Given that the sequence is full, unlike many others, it must gain an extra point, so I'll give her 6.
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Again quite decent, Edward Woodward is good in the part. Want and Ignorance are done well. A score of 7 for him.
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Spooky and silent, but there's something about him: he seems to speak in a whining feedback electric guitar voice, and you gotta respect that. Basically, he rawks! Got to get a decent 8 for that.

Faithful to the novel: Extremely so, even if there are a few extra bits added. I'd have to give this the highest score yet, a 9
Emotion level: None, until David Warner and Susannah York get together on the death of Tiny Tim, then the tears are pressing behind my eyes and I must award this a good 7 for emotion.
Puke level: Zero. Not even for Cratchit for once, or Tiny Tim.
Horror level: Pretty much zero also.
Soundtrack: Virtually non-existent. Hardly worth a 1, but let's give it that. Actually, now that I've seen the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come with his heavy-metal voice, I have to up that to a much more decent 5.

And so we have a total in the end of 75. Very good score, but then look at all the stars in it. If you add five for Warner, Scott, York and Woodward that's another 20, which brings us to a
Grand Total of 95! I think that's the highest yet.

And so without any doubt or challenge, George C. Scott's 1984 version --- almost despite his pretty pedestrian acting as the main character --- pushes its way into round two, leaving the others trailing in its wake. And I thought “Mickey's Christmas Carol” was going to be hard to beat! Competition's hotting up now!

The next batch won't be posted (or, indeed, watched) till after Christmas Day. There are still about ten versions yet to go, and then we have to have the knockout rounds, so although I would have preferred we had things all wrapped up by Christmas, I can see this spilling over into January. But I don't want to rush it: I've put a lot of work into it and if it ends up taking me into 2015 in order to do it properly, then so be it. I still don't know who's going to win. I should point out that, although versions are scoring high here, that does not necessarily mean they're going to be the overall winners, as in round two the best of the best will be pitted against each other, and may find after all that they are lacking in certain aspects.

Until Friday then, a Merry Christmas to you all. God bless us, every one. Except you: I've never liked you.

Oh all right: you too then!

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Trollheart

And of course, what look at Christmas episodes would be complete without

The very first ever episode to air, and the first of many special Christmas episodes of the series, “Simpsons roasting on an open fire” introduces the sixth member of the Simpson family, who was to become so important in their various storylines, the dog Santa's Little Helper.

The Simpons: “Simpsons roasting on an open fire”

Deprived of a Christmas bonus at work, Homer is glad he can fall back upon the safety net of “The big jar”, the money Marge has scraped aside during the year towards the festive season. When he learns though that this money has all gone to remove a tattoo that Bart got against his mother's wishes, he is unwilling to tell his family that there is no money for Christmas, and keeps quiet about the lack of bonus. Desperate for extra money, he hears Barney talk about working as a mall Santa, and signs up. Unfortunately, after many deductions he's left with a lot less than he expected. Then Barney comes to the rescue again, giving him a tip on a dog racing down the track.

At the last moment though Homer changes his mind, hearing the name “Santa's Little Helper” being added to the race. Taking it as a sign he bids his full paycheque on the dog, but it performs terribly and he loses all his money, while Barney's dog, as he promised, wins the race. Heading home dejectedly, they see the dog, Santa's Little Helper, being kicked out by its owner and take him home, where he becomes the family dog, the best Christmas present the Simpsons have ever had.

QUOTES
Marge (writing): “The magic of the holiday season has touched us all...”
Homer: “Marge! Haven't you finished writing that stupid letter yet?”
Marge: “Homer sends his love...”

Marge: “All right kids. Let me have those letters and I'll send them to Santa at the North Pole.”
Bart: “Oh please: there's only one fat guy who brings us presents and his name ain't Santa!”

Smithers (over tannoy): “Attention all personnel! Please keep working during this announcement. And now, our boss and friend, Mister Burns!”
Burns (over tannoy): “Hello. I'm proud to announce that we've been able to increase safety here at the plant, without increasing the cost to the consumer or threatening the management pay rises. However, for you ... semi-skilled workers ... there will be no Christmas bonuses. Oh, and one more thing: Merry Christmas!”

Homer (trying to recall the names of Santa's reindeer): “Um... Dasher, Dancer .... Prancer ... Nixon ... Comet, Cupid ... Donna Dixon!”

Homer: “Thirteen bucks??”
Pay clerk: “That's right. Less social security, less employment insurance, less Santa training, less costume purchase, less suit rental, less Christmas club. See you next year!”

Bart: “Oh come on dad. This could be the miracle that saves the Simpsons. If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs and it's gonna happen to us!”

Lisa: “What's that, Aunt Patti?”
Patti: “Oh nothing dear. We're just trashing your father.”
Lisa: “Well I wish you wouldn't, because aside from the fact that has the same frailities as all human beings, he is the only father I have, and therefore he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern my own future prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you take into account that any knock made against him is a knock against me, and I am much too young to defend myself against such onslaughts."
Patti: “Uh-huh. Go watch your cartoon show, dear.”

Bart: “Aw! Can we keep him dad? Please?”
Homer: “But he's a loser! He's pathetic! He's .... a Simpson...”

Simpsons (singing, over the end credits): “Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say...”
Marge: “Take it, Homer!”
Homer: “Er, er, Rudolph get your nose over here, and you can guide my sleigh today....”

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Trollheart

Time to wrap things up and set out the cookies for Santy! All of my journals will, as ever, be closed tomorrow, Christmas Day, though technically of course they won't: you can read them, but there won't be any new entries made until St. Stephen's Day (or Boxing Day if you're not in Ireland) when they will start being updated again.

Just like to say thanks to all who have patronised and kept my journals going with your comments and contributions, and even though I was away for several months this year it seems people for some reason still want to read what I write. Talk about your Christmas miracles!

Anyway, wherever you are, whether there's snow on the ground or the sun is burning high in the sky, whether you believe in Jesus or not, whether you celebrate the holiday season or whether you are just looking forward to a break from work, may you all have a very Happy Christmas and I'll see you all back here on Friday.

Nollaig Shona, Joyeux Noel, Felices Navidades, Glædelig Jul, Hyvää Joulua,
Frohe Weihnachten, VrolijkKerstfeest , Buon Natale, Glædelig Jul Wesołych Świąt and Merry Christmas to all my friends and (almost) family here!

A few quick mentions, though this is by no means a full list, but some people I would like to single out for thanks and to send peaceful and happy wishes to at this holiday time. If you're not mentioned here, you probably didn't sacrifice enough at my temple this year. Or I forgot you. Probably the latter. I'm an old man, and my memory is going. Where was I? Oh yeah, these guys...

Vanilla, Roxy, Urban, Briks, Machine, Frownland, Pet_Sounds, Unknown Soldier, WWWP, Exo, Justin, Anteater, Misspoptart, Goofle, Janszoon, Ki and Lil, Wpnfire, WhateverDude, YorkeDaddy, Plankton, Neapolitan, Mondo, Chula Vista, Oriphiel, Freebase, Fetcher, Moss, Blaro and of course The Batlord!

May you all have a rockin' Christmas! See ya on the other side!

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Trollheart

Time for the final batch of selections before the New Year rolls in. I knew this was going to go beyond Christmas, but now that it's going I want to make sure to finish it, even if, as it will, it brings us out of Christmas and into the New Year.

Here we go then!


Year: 1992
Medium: Colour
Starring: The Muppets! (And Michael Caine)
Directed by: Brian Henson
Length: 100 mins

Brief comments: What's not to like about the Muppets? Kermit as Bob Cratchit, Robin as Tiny Tim, Fozzie Bear as Fezzi --- sorry, Fozziwig! The usual mix of jokes and great songs, clever little cameos and a story that follows the novel very closely indeed, The Great Gonzo as Charles Dickens notwithstanding. I think this may take some beating!

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: It's Michael Caine. Need I say more? Yes, I need. To act as he does, even being the total acting colossus he is, with mostly only muppets to spark off, is truly genius. A very high 9 for his portrayal of the old miser.
Marley: Here's where I have a slight problem. The idea of having two Marleys is an interesting one, and allows both Statler and Waldorf to reprise their favoured roles as hecklers, this time from beyond the grave, but I feel it stretches the credulity a little. And it was not necessary. Though he takes a different role, Sam the Eagle would have made a perfect Marley. For what they are, they do what they do though and I really can't award them more than a 5. The song is good though.
Cratchit: Kermie! The frog has to be awarded a 10, only the second time I've done that for this character. How could you not?
Tiny Tim: And as only the second Tiny Tim not to annoy me, Robin his nephew gets another 10. Cute without being nauseatingly so. He sings, but does not make me want to retch when he does.
Others: Miss Piggy as Mrs Cratchit is ok, but I've never liked the pig. Gonzo has to get a rating as Dickens, give him 8. Rizzo the rat is annoying and unnecessary, and just for their appearance as the gentlemen seeking donations from Scrooge, Beaker and Doctor Bunsen Burner get an 8 between them.
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: Something of an annoyingly squeaky voice, kind of half looks like an angel, bit irritating. But the scenes are represented well. Say a 6
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Jolly giant whom it is hard not to like. 7 for him.
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Given that he's a silent spirit, not a bad representation, and I'll say another 6.

Faithful to the novel: Extremely. Almost word for word in places. Got to be a 9 here.
Emotion level: Some, especially in the Cratchit household after the death of Tiny Tim. 7
Puke level: Zero
Horror level: Again I say, are you fucking kidding me? Horror? With muppets? Nah. Zero.
Soundtrack: Decent songs, not too annoying, well written. Say a 7.

So our total then is 92. Being a Muppets movie adds an extra 5 and the appearance of Caine easily another 5, so that's a
Grand Total of 102! Told you it would be hard to beat!

Year: 1997
Medium: Colour (Animated)
Starring: Tim Curry, Michael York, Whoopi Goldberg, Ed Asner
Directed by: Stan Phillips
Length: 72 mins

Brief comments: For a 90s animation this is very flat and two-dimensional, quite Hanna-Barbera: there's even a dog like Spike in it! The colour is pretty washed-out and the movements are jerky, though that could be my connection I guess. Too much usage of the phrase “Right?” which is not proper for the time period.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Meh. Even with Tim Curry voicing him, he's pretty unconvincing. Drawn well, but that's about it. I'll give him, let's see, 5. The addition of a pet dog does nothing for him, and is a typical animation trick, to make it a bit more cute. Fails on all counts, unlike The Muppet Christmas Carol with Gonzo.
Marley: Given what they could have done with animation, even in the late 90s, Marley is handled poorly here, just a man surrounded by a faint green glow. He does describe what some of the links in his chain are though, which is a nice touch. Even so, I think he only deserves a 5.
Cratchit: Basically okay, but just that. 4
Tiny Tim: Almost non-existent. 2.
Others: n/a
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: A bell boy? A bloody cockney bell boy? Give me strength! Worst yet! A poor 3
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Whoopi Goldberg does a very bad Miss Marple and though the figure is black she puts on a cultured white voice, which robs the figure of any originality. A very low 4 for her, and that's being generous.
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Big purple Scooby-Doo ghost surrounded by purple glow. Bah. A 3 for him.

Faithful to the novel: Pretty much so, though a few scenes are missing. The inclusion of the dog is an annoying distraction however. Say, I don't know, 7?
Emotion level: Little really. Give it a 1
Puke level: If it wasn't for the song about “Santa's sooty suit” I'd say no, but that earns it a good -4
Horror level: Zero
Soundtrack: Meh, it's ok; some good songs but nothing terribly groundbreaking. Say 6.

Total then is 36. I have to add the stars on, and there are four of them so that's an extra 20, giving us a Grand Total of 56. Pretty low really, but about all it deserves.

Year: 1999
Medium: Colour
Starring: Patrick Stewart, Richard E Grant
Directed by: David Jones
Length: 95 mins

Brief comments: Make it so! Stewart was born to play this part, so how does he do? See below, but with two titans of the cinema in this I'm expecting really great things and a high score to rival the best I've yet seen. There's an interesting start, with the funeral of Marley, and a few bits added or changed here and there, but generally speaking I'm not as impressed as I had expected to be.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Well, to be honest it's like watching Picard play Scrooge. I kept expecting at any moment that Data would come into the holodeck and inform the Captain that they had achieved orbit. Stewart plays the part exactly like Picard; he's only short of barking “Make it so!” I can't say I'm enthusiastic about his performance. 6
Marley: Ghostly and not badly acted, but nothing terribly special. Say 6.
Cratchit: Grant is good in the role, almost saving the movie, not overly simpering and not too annoying. Have to be a good 8
Tiny Tim: Not too annoying, though he does have to sing! Let's say 6
Others: Interestingly, Liz Smith of The Royle Family fame here plays Mrs. Dilber, the same character she played in the 1984 version, so for that I guess you have to award her something. 5.
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: Oh dear! Looks like a cross between Data and some gay clown! Quite innocuous though, and the scenes are well represented. Let's say 7
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Refreshingly different, in that he's not the “jolly green giant” of most other movies, but a downbeat, almost sad figure. For the difference alone I think he has to get an 8, though with I now see Want and Ignorance featured I'm upping that to 9.
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Big blue silent guy, reminds me of an oversize Jawa! Cartoonish. Score 4.

Faithful to the novel: In many places, almost verbatim, though there are some slight diversions. It is, however, the first one to show the couple rejoicing at Scrooge's death due to their debt to him. Overly dramatic ending though, when he falls into his own coffin just before waking up. Pity. Altogether I would think 8 would be a fair score here.
Emotion level: Zero. It's like watching a holodeck episode of “Star Trek” mostly and it's hard not to equate Scrooge with Picard.
Puke level: Zero, though the dancing scenes at Fezziwig's always annoy me.
Horror level: Zero
Soundtrack: There's not a lot of music in it. What there is is made up of basic movie music and a few rather annoying songs. Say 5 for the lot.

So our total then for this version is 64, and with the two stars added in that's another 10, so a
Grand Total of 74. Not great really, and something of a disappointment.

There probably was never any real doubt --- after all, who can stand against the frog? --- but in any event. “The Muppet Christmas Carol” sweeps the boards here and comes in as not only very much the highest score of this trio, but I believe the highest score of any of the versions we've looked at up to now, and I sincerely doubt that anything following it is likely to beat that score. So Kermit and his men march happily into the next round.

And this being the last triplet to be posted before the New Year, it's perhaps appropriate that it also brings to a close the twentieth century versions. As we enter 2015 we'll be looking at the remaining six examples, whereafter the knockout rounds will commence.

For now, a very Happy New Year to you all!

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Trollheart

I'm not going to reiterate all I said in The Playlist (see there for my New Year's message as it were), but again just thanks for all the views and comments, and for your interest in my journals, especially this one. When I started this I was unsure if people woudl buy into the idea of a non-music journal, and while it wasn't by any means the first to concentrate on subjects outside of music, it was I think the first to focus exclusively on TV and films, so therefore someting of a first for me.

Over the last two years it has flourished and prospered, to the point where we are now on the cusp of 25,000 views, which is surely not bad for a journal that has only been in existence for just over two years now. I've done my best to keep it interesting, interspersing the accounts of TV show episodes not only with reviews of movies, but with other sections I think might pique people's interests, including faceoffs and the plotholes thing. Lots more planned for 2015.

In the coming year I'll be formally opening the "Dad vs Dad" Family Guy vs American Dad showdown, which will continue through the year, and maybe further, as well as launching the USS Nerdtopia on her maiden voyage, as we explore all of the Star Trek movies in order. Add to that the return of Trollheart's Cinema Craptastique, new series to come, the continuation of old ones, more movies as well as "Deconstructing The Simpsons", more plotholes and a whole lot of Star Trek, plus some other stuff I haven't even finalised or worked out yet, and the Couch Potato could end up being pretty crowded!

But bunch up, bunch up: there's always room for one more, and everyone is welcome. Hope to see some of you at least dropping in over the coming year.

Happy New year to you all, and see you real soon!
Trollheart

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Okay then, time to get The Couch Potato up and running for 2015, and what better way to start with than by returning to one of my favourite shows of all time....


Season Two: "The coming of Shadows"
2.14 “There all the honour lies”


Ivanova is dismayed that the Senate have approved the manufacture and sale of merchandise pertaining to Babylon 5. Sheridan tells her it could provide much-needed revenue to help them run their budget but she thinks it’s demeaning. She’s even less impressed when he tells her he has chosen her to oversee the whole enterprise! On his way out of the meeting he bumps into a man who steals his link, but when he gives chase he runs into a Minbari warrior who attacks him. Knocked to the ground, he reaches for a PPG and warns the Minbari, who continues to advance, shouting “Death first!” and he has no choice but to shoot him. The whole thing is witnessed by another Minbari, who runs off. When Delenn finds out about the killing she is livid; she has been instructed by her government to carry out her own investigation, independent of that of station security, to determine whether or not to charge Sheridan with murder.

Garibaldi finds the witness but Ashan is reluctant to help, and between Sheridan and the security chief they begin to suspect a coverup, then a setup. How convenient that there was a weapon lying within easy reach. Why did the attacker grab Sheridan’s link, something that is useless once reported stolen, unless he wanted to make sure that he was pursued, lead the captain into a trap? And surely it could not be coincidence that there just happened to be another Minbari coming up the stairs at the exact moment Sheridan shot the warrior? Something does not add up, or rather, something does, most uncomfortably. But who would have set up such a thing, and why?

Talia bumps into Vir, who seems distracted. He says he has to go, and laughs as if that were funny. Delenn speaks to Ashan, but he will not recognise her as one of his own, calls her a freak. He does talk to Lennier, and tells him that what he saw was one of their people gunned down without provocation, and in the act of surrender. Sheridan is enraged, calling him a liar, but Delenn and Lennier explain that Minbari do not lie, as this would be a stain on their honour. He knows Ashan is lying though and demands to talk to him personally. Earthdome sends a high-flying lawyer to defend Sheridan, though she tells him that Earthgov has decided to proceed with an indictment against him. No matter how the trial goes, the stigma will mean that Sheridan will have to step down as commander of Babylon 5.

In the middle of all of this, Kosh arrives to remind Sheridan of the lesson he is supposed to be taking. Trying to excuse himself does not work and soon the captain is following the Vorlon to Downbelow, where he meets a strange old hermit-like woman who shows him “one moment of perfect beauty”. Vir tells Londo that he has been replaced; the position has become too important for a nobody like him, and Centauri Prime are sending someone better suited to the job. Meanwhile word of Sheridan’s pending trial is getting around and more and more meetings are being cancelled; he’s becoming a pariah. Delenn finds out something interesting about the dead Minbari. Lennier shadows Ashan and sees him paying off the thief who robbed Sheridan’s link, while in a conversation with Londo Sheridan learns that Minbari don’t generally lie, no, but they can if the lie is to help another save face.

Suddenly, the Minbari government want Ashan removed, back to homeworld. With the primary witness gone the case will collapse, but Sheridan will have no way to prove his innocence, and the questions will always be there. However when Delenn reveals that the Minbari who was killed is from the same clan as both Ashan and Lennier, the motive for the former’s lie becomes a little clearer: if he could lie to save face for his clan that would be honourable, and so he did. After Lennier meets with him and tells him that after he has gone back to Minbar, Lennier himself will admit complicity in the attack, thus saving his clan from the shame Ashan would bring upon them but utlimately disgracing it, Ashan admits everything. However he is unaware that Delenn, Sheridan and Garibaldi are all outside in time-honoured “sting” fashion, recording everything. Sheridan is exonerated: a full confession will clear his name.

But the captain realises that such an admission will destroy Lennier and likely ruin his clan, so he strikes a deal with Delenn. If she can get Ashan to admit to bearing false witness, and confirm that Sheridan acted in self-defence, no details of the case need be made public and face will be saved for Lennier’s clan.

That only leaves Vir, who is ready to leave Babylon 5 when Londo tells him that if he goes, the ambassador must go too. He has spoken highly of Vir to homeworld, telling them that Vir is an invaluable aide and he could not possibly work without him. So Vir can stay, although Londo does drop the bombshell that he has invited Vir’s whole family to the station to stay --- for a whole month! The Babylon 5 Emporium is summarily shut down when Sheridan sees that there is a cuddly teddy bear meant to represent him. They’ll just have to find the revenue from somewhere else.

QUOTES
Ivanova: “Welcome to Babylon 5, the last best hope for a quick buck!”

Sheridan: “Find that Minbari witness! He will back me up; I’m certain of it.”
Garibaldi: “Okay. Description?”
Sheridan: “Bald. With a bone in his head!”
Garibaldi: “We’re gonna need a real big lineup room!”

Sheridan: “I want to talk to that witness. He is lying!”
Delenn: “For your sake, Captain, I did not hear that. Nor did you, Lennier.”
Sheridan: “What are you talking about?”
Lennier: “Minbari do not lie. It would be a stain both on honour and on soul.”
Delenn: “For someone of another species to make such an accusation, it would require an immediate, and fatal response from the accused.”

Ivanova, bumping into guy at Babylon 5 Emporium: “Excuse me.”
Guy: “Excuse me miss” --- takes off human mask, reveals himself to be a Drazi! “Do you gift wrap?”

Corey: “May I ask what you were discussing here?”
Sheridan: “The only thing that matters: the truth.”
Corey: “Ah yes. The favourite song of the legally ignorant.”
Sheridan: “I don’t appreciate being called ignorant in front of others.”
Corey: “I’m sorry. Is naive better?”
Sheridan: “And I don’t need a lawyer!”
Corey: “Now we’re back to ignorant.”

Vir: “Back home I’m swallowed in silence, here I’m swallowed by secrets. I feel like I’m caught between fire and flood, and if there’s a way out I sure can’t see it.”

Ivanova: “Another lesson? What was it this time?”
Sheridan: “Beauty … in the dark.”
Ivanova: “Must be working. You’re starting to talk like a Vorlon!”

Londo: “The doll is a mockery! It doesn’t even have any … attributes.”
Sheridan and Ivanova: “Attributes?”
Londo: “Do I have to spell it out for you? Attributes!”
Sheridan: “Oh! Attributes.”
Ivanova: “So you feel like you’re being symbolically cast--- in a bad light?”
Sheridan: “Well put.”

Sheridan: “I never thought there could be anything worse than being all alone in the night.”
Delenn: “But there is: being all alone in a crowd. If you are cut off from your people, your government, you begin to doubt even yourself. I understand it so well that it cuts to my heart.”

Londo: “Your first real hangover, Vir. Enjoy it! I remember my first hangover. Actually, that’s not true. If I could remember it it wouldn’t really be a hangover.”

Sheridan (looking at the teddy bear and smiling): “Ba-bear-lon 5? Oh, he’s a cutie, isn’t he?” Turning it around to see the monogrammed initials on its pocket. “JS?”
Ivanova: “John Sheridan.”
Sheridan: “This is meant to be me?” (Losing the smile) “I want it off my station! I want them all off my station! I want the whole thing yanked out, boxed up and shipped out by 0800!"

IMPORTANT PLOT ARC POINTS
Nothing really. There’s the hatred of certain Minbari for Sheridan, but that’s not actually part of the arc, and we already know this. Other than that it’s a fairly self-contained episode, other than the stuff with Kosh, which won’t have any real bearing until later episodes.

SKETCHES
Lennier, of the Third Fane of Chu’domo
We generally know very little about Delenn’s quiet aide, other than that he’s pretty obviously in love with her. But here we find that he is such an honourable man that he is prepared to take the blame for something he had no hand in, in order to preserve the integrity of his clan. He is also willing, when asked, to work with Sheridan and the other humans, to entrap Ashan. And yet he has no problem felling Zack when he sees him tailing Ashan. Of course, he doesn’t injure him but it’s clear he could have had he wanted to. He may be a little guy who keeps to himself and always --- always --- speaks in a quiet, level voice --- but he can defend himself and would probably prove a tough opponent for anyone who underestimated him.

It’s also his short association with Londo that informs this episode and gives us the missing piece of the puzzle. When Mollari tells Sheridan about the incident in the Dark Star nightclub, when Lennier took the blame for Londo’s getting them into a brawl by cheating, in season one, the captain realises that not lying for Minbari is not an absolute: there are moments and occasions when they can, exceptions to the rule. Mind you, it’s a very offhand comment that secures that information, and had Londo not complained about the dolls of him on sale, the situation would probably never have arisen. On such small events and moments, Babylon 5 turns…

Lennier’s devotion to Delenn is absolute. When Ashan sneers at her, calls her a freak and asks why he trusts the humans, he says “Because she does”. Given the level of insult Ashan directs at the ambassador, it probably takes all of Lennier’s restraint not to clock him one, and when they meet in Downbelow and face off against one another, you could hardly blame him for taking the opportunity to knock some respect into his clansman. Lennier will doubtless be relieved and impressed that Sheridan thinks enough of he and Delenn that he is willing to gloss over the details of the case and only sketch in the barest outlines, saving Lennier from shame. This can only serve to strengthen the ties between Minbari and humans. Well, some of them anyway.

ABSENT FRIENDS
Just really G’Kar missing. However we must take note of the guest star appearance of Julie Caitilin Brown as the Earthforce lawyer, Genevieve Corey. This lady played the original Na’Toth, attache to the Narn ambassador, before being replaced by Mary Kay Adams. Looking like that, you’d have to say she was wasted under all that Narn makeup!

NOTE
It’s pretty obvious who was behind this. As the Minbari who attacked Sheridan was a warrior, or seemed to be, and Ashan referred to him as “Starkiller”, you would have to see Neroon’s hand in this. Certainly the Star-riders would be happy to see Sheridan sacked, sent home or having to stand down in disgrace, and would consider it the tiniest reparation for the destruction of the Minbari cruiser for which they have named him. The plan though has backfired upon Neroon, and he will have essentially Delenn to thank for cleaning his mess up and not allowing the possibility of a scandal to touch the Grey Council. Were it to become public knowledge that the Minbari high command had endeavoured to basically engineer regime change at Babylon 5, that could be a very serious matter indeed. Neroon and his cronies will have to tread more carefully from here on in: Delenn is watching them, Sheridan is watching them and they’ll both be waiting for their next move.

ZACK RISING
We’ve seen security chief Zack Allan become slowly more integrated into storylines as the last few episodes have progressed, from having just one scene to a talking part to a full role in a story. Here he is quite involved and from this point on you’ll see a lot more of him, until like Joshua Cox’s Lt Corwin, Jeff Conaway joins the main cast and even features in the opening credits. Keep an eye on him: he’s a star in the making. I’ll be tracking his progress as we go on.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018