Trollheart

Frasier: “Perspectives on Christmas”

Like the title says, this episode allows us to view one event, or one series of events, from four different perspectives, each of which makes an seemingly innocent act look suspicious, or vice versa; the true meaning of not having all the facts before you come to your decision. We open in a massage parlour, where Martin is relaxing and relates to the masseur how things went, from his view:

Martin's Perspective: As they decorate Frasier's apartment for Christmas, Daphne opines that it's odd that, when she was walking Eddie just now, he turned as if to go into the local church. Frasier remarks that the dog did the same with him yesterday, when he was walking him, but Martin brushes it off. He also exits quickly, which sparks the suspicions and then fears of his family. Martin, however, explains to Frasier in the kitchen that the reason Eddie has been going into the church is that both he and the dog have been asked to play a part in the Christmas pageant. He is embarrassed though, as one of the songs he has to sing, “O holy night” has a note in it he can't hit, so Frasier and Niles agree to help him practice.

Daphne's Perspective: All innocent and explainable, right? But then look at it from the viewpoint of one who has only caught some of the conversation and come to her own conclusions as to what is going on. Daphne sees only Frasier comforting his father, who appears to be coughing badly (this is after he has mistakenly laced Martin's eggnog with paprika rather than nutmeg) and as Frasier leaves he assures his father that Niles and he will be there for him (this is for the practice, but she doesn't know that.) She then asks him if he contacted his doctor for the results of his physical and he says he did, is noncommittal about it. When she then hears him on the phone talking to the priest she again gets her wires crossed and thinks he's talking about dying, when he's worrying about playing his part in the drama. Add in Eddie's diversions to the church and she soon puts two and two together and gets nine: Martin is sick, perhaps dying. Martin thinks it's hilarious when he finds out what she was thinking.

Just as they figure it out and are having a right ding-dong, Niles staggers into the apartment, looking wet and much the worse for wear, and collapses, unnoticed, behind the sofa.

Niles's Perspective: He relates how he got into the lift and had to share it with three people --- and a huge Christmas tree. Worried about his Italian suit, he stayed as far as he could from the tree, but then the lift jams. Trapped together, the four of them have to figure a way out. With the maintenance crew at least an hour away, Niles has to climb up the Christmas tree to the lift shaft in order to trigger the remote door release. Unfortunately, once he does everyone legs it and nobody waits for him, whereupon the doors shut again and the lift begins to ascend! Dirty with grease, stuck with pine needles, his expensive suit destroyed, Niles crawls out of the lift and into Frasier's apartment, where he collapses. Unnoticed.

Roz's Perspective: Roz meets Frasier and gets a call from her mother, who is coming to visit. Unbeknownst to him, he tells her about her daughter's pregnancy, news which Roz was waiting till the right moment to break! As the Crane house descends into bickering and arguing and sniping, Frasier decides the best thing to do is get some masseurs and masseuses over to help them all unwind, and so we come to the end, and also the beginning, of our story.

QUOTES

Martin: “That dog does weird things. Yesterday, when we were taking our bath together, he spent fifteen straight minutes pushing the soap around with his nose like an otter! Weird!”

Martin (on phone about his role in the play): “Well I'm terrified about this, Father. It all came around so suddenly. I'm not prepared. Now, tell me what I'm supposed to say when I see Jesus for the first time?”

Daphne: “You were going to let all this happen without letting a soul know?”
Martin: “Well yes. I didn't want everyone staring at me in that church, stiff as a board, all that makeup on my face...”

Niles: “How am I supposed to get up there?” (The lift shaft)
Woman: “You can climb this tree.”
Niles: “Oh surely not!”
Woman: “Oh come on now. I'm sure you climbed plenty of trees when you were a boy.”
Other woman: “That's Doctor Crane's brother.”
All: “Ohhh...”

Woman: “Why is that man crawling?”
Man: “That's Doctor Crane's brother.”
Woman: “Oh.”

Frasier: “My gift does not come from some fancy store, or wrapped in glittery paper. My gift comes from my heart. Tonight I intend to sit each once of you down and tell you in my own words exactly how much you mean to me. (Following protests and claims that this is the cheapest present ever he quickly backtracks) Or, or, I could get us someone up here to give us all massages!”

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Okay, time to check out three more versions of this classic tale and see how they measure up. First we have this one, and yes, it's not quite chronological, but to be honest I had originally intended not to feature this one, then thought better of it. So this comes just before the 1951 version. And no, my 1938 DVD has not yet arrived...

Year: 1949
Medium: Black-and-white
Starring: Taylor Holmes, and narrated by Vincent Price
Directed by:
Length: 26 mins

Brief comments: Although it's wonderful to see Price reading the story and bringing his usual flair and warmth to the movie, the acting is at best adequate and the way I see this is almost like the original 1910 version but with sound and slightly --- slightly --- better effects. It seems very rushed, as the ghosts sequences are truncated and the whole idea seems to be to get the thing done as quickly as possible, which does not translate well to the screen.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Not the greatest, but then Holmes is rather rushed through his role. I'll be generous and say a 4.
Marley: Awful. Nothing more than a man standing in front of Scrooge, not even an attempt at making him seem transparent. When he leaves, he simply walks out the door. The version ten years previous did him far better. 2
Cratchit: Again, just adequate. Nothing stands out about him. 4
Tiny Tim: Same really. Back to annoying again, and the constant androgynising of Tiny Tim through these movies --- at least the early ones --- he always seems like he could be a girl (Tiny Tina?) --- is annoying. 3
Others: n/a
The Ghosts: Awful to a man. I won't even bother separating them, and will give them a low score of 10 to share among them.

Faithful to the novel: Yes, but very rushed and abridged, so only gets a 4 again.
Emotion level: Zero
Puke level: Zero
Horror level: Zero
Soundtrack: Meh, pretty standard. 5.

So that makes a total of 32. Lowest yet, even lower than the silent version, which comes across as far superior. I do however have to take into account the titanic figure of Price, without whom this would never have flown, and so he adds an extra 10 to the poor, poor score, leaving it at a pretty low but somewhat more respectable 42.

Year: 1954
Medium: Black-and-white (Originally colour apparently, but only a b/w version has survived)
Starring: Frederic Marsh, Basil Rathbone
Directed by:
Length: 60 mins

Brief comments: For a so-called musical, the movie seems to consist of a drama with its own score, with intermittent interruptions from a vocal choir. Weird. Made-for-TV special, not particularly impressed with it I must say. Messes with the ending: no massive turkey for Cratchit, Scrooge has dinner with them instead of his nephew, and generally it ends on a song, pretty annoying.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Terrible. Flat, uninteresting/ed, not in the least scared when Marley appears. Very very poor. Does improve a little as the movie goes on. Still, I'd give him the lowest rating yet: 2
Marley: You'd think with an accomplished actor like Rathbone playing him he'd give a good performance. You'd be wrong. He's stiff, flat, boring. He walks like a zombie or a robot. Poor. Another 2.
Cratchit: Least annoying yet. Kind of reminds me of a cross between Jack Lemmon, Bob Hope and Kelsey Grammer. Doesn't make me want to puke. 8
Tiny Tim: Meh, he was doing reasonably ok until he started singing in an annoying soprano. Losing points for that! 5
Others: n/a
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: Good twist, this time it's a pretty girl, whom I think is meant to resemble Scrooge's lost love. 5
The Ghost of Christmas Present: More like a bellboy than a ghost, and he sings! Like, constantly! He won't shut up! If I have to hear this fucker sing "A merry merry Christmas!" one more time I'll bloody bury him with a sprig of holly through his heart! Plus he looks like Fred, Scrooge's nephew. Yeah, same actor. Scrooge even remarks upon it, though the ghost pretends he doesn't know what he's talking about. Still, have to give him points for being the first original Ghost of Christmas Present, even if his singing does get on my wick! Okay, okay! A 7, 8 if you'll shut up singing. No? 7 it is then.
The Ghost of Christmas To Come: Not shown. Scrooge wanders alone into the graveyard and in something of a “two-for-one” sees his own grave and then Tiny Tim's. A bit cheap, though the use of the crow on the headstone is good. Is that meant to be the ghost? Cheap get-out but again marks for originality. All I can award here really though is a 4, as there is no actual ghost shown. Although it may be the crow. But it may not be.

Faithful to the novel: Not really. In its way yes, but very rushed and truncated. 5. I'm revising that, due to the liberties taken with what is always the ending, so down to 3.
Emotion level: Not terribly. Maybe a 3
Puke level: Again, no. Zero.
Horror level: Little, but the crow adds something and Scrooge being alone in the graveyard gets this a grudging 2.
Soundtrack: It's a musical, so it has songs, but they're mostly in soprano which is annoying and none of them speak to me. Still, have to award it points for originality. Say 6.

Total then is 47. However because of the serious screwup on the ending I'm deducting 10 points. "A Christmas Carol" is a story that, no matter what you do, the ending is set in stone and should never be changed as they did here. So because of that, this effort can only muster a paltry 37. Boo!

Year: 1962
Medium: Colour (Animated)
Starring: Mister Magoo!
Directed by:
Length: 62 mins

Brief comments: I thought about not including this, but if I did that then I would have to question looking at other animated versions, and there are some really good ones, so in the end I decided to go with it. I initially thought I was not going to like it, as t here's an annoying little supposed-to-be-funny prologue where Magoo has to get onstage (the whole movie is acted out on stage) and accidentally goes to a restaurant. But once it settles down it's actually very well handled and the songs are really quite good. Its hard to take Mister Magoo as Scrooge seriously, but it's not the disaster I had worried it would be.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Decent, but it's a little hard to take anyone seriously (even a cartoon character) who has his eyes screwed up all the time. Plus, who doesn't love Magoo? Have to rate him at a mid-range 5 really.
Marley: Again, ok, but a little overacting. Decent ghost, and they remembered the chains. 5 also.
Cratchit: Least annoying Cratchit yet, even less so than the previous but still a little too willing to accept their situation with good grace, damn him. Have to say a quite decent 8
Tiny Tim: The first one not to annoy me. He's cute and bearable. A high 9 for him
Others: n/a
The Ghosts: Ghost of Christmas Past: Very good, quite cute and even sexy (!) in a way (yes, there's something wrong with me, I know!). Smiles a lot but has a sort of sadness in his/her smile (not sure if it's meant to be male or female). Of all the Ghosts of Christmas Past so far, definitely the best, considering it's a cartoon. I love the way the burning candleflame above his/her head dims when their time is running out. A serious 8 here.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Pretty much the same as all others, but with a severe aspect I haven't seen in the others. Give him a 6
Ghost of Christmas to Come: Although again a hooded figure, there's something creepier about him than the others, so he gets a 6 too.
Ghosts Total: 20

Faithful to the novel: Very much so. Even Fezziwig is included, although Scrooge's love is called Belle, not Alice? Even so, a very high 8
Emotion level: Zero.
Puke level: Zero.
Horror level: Zero.
Soundtrack: Very decent, some nice songs, first one to have songs written for it rather than just use hymns and carols. Got to give this an 8

So the total then is 60. But then it has to get extra points, both for being the first animated version and for being the first version in colour, so let's say 5 each for those, bringing us to a Grand Total of 70, highest score yet, surprisingly in some ways!

Which means that despite his short-sightedness, ol' Magoo races to the top and easily into the next round.

Oh Magoo! You've done it again!

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Personal recollection # 4,104: I got watching this show completely by accident. I was waiting for something to start and happened to turn it on, caught the first few minutes of the pilot episode and became totally hooked, much to my amazement. I had seen it advertised and thought "Yeah, I really want to watch that! Another boring political drama! No thanks!" so was surprised at how impressed I was by it and within the first few minutes it had become, to coin a phrase, must-see TV.

"The West Wing" deals with the goings-on in the White House under the Democrat president Josiah Bartlett, and was I think the first show of that nature since the mini-series "Washington: behind closed doors" which aired in the seventies. The storylines, while often more than a little fanciful and hardly representative of reality in the most powerful and important building in the world, were always well-written and served to promote main writer and creator Aaron Sorkin to fame and public acclaim, but of course the best writing is useless if the actors can't act, and "The West Wing" boasted some of the cream of drama talent, including a true superstar in Martin Sheen as the president himself.

The show ran from 1999 to 2006 over seven seasons, though personally I lost interest after the sixth, which both surprised and disappointed me. Up to then though there was some amazing TV to be had, and many careers were made on the back of this groundbreaking series. Of course, dealing as it did with mirror representations of real-life political issues, some silly countries and dictators had to be made up, but we all knew who they were talking about. But "The West Wing" wasn't just about politics and news, crises and meetings. It was also a human story, concentrating on the lives of the people who surround the president, his staff, and how the job --- essentially a 24-hour on-call deal --- affected their own situations, both at home and in work.

"The West Wing" won nine Emmys for its first season alone, and a total of twenty-seven over its seven-year run, making a new record for awards won by a TV show. It revitalised the career of Sheen, who was becoming something of a fading light, and reawakened an interest in politics, both on the screen and in real life, particularly as its mid-point dovetailed with the 9/11 terrorist attacks and the subsequent war on terror. By the end of its life the show had shed viewers like a lorry with a badly-secured load of pipes going over a cliff, but it remains one of the top shows in American TV history.

CAST
Though there are others who are not based there, the main cast comprises the staff at the Oval Office who assist the president.

PRESIDENT JOSIAH BARTLET, played by Martin Sheen
Although perhaps portrayed too much as an ideal president, a real "good guy", Bartlet is actually drawn from both Republican and Democrat influences, though the main model for Sheen was President Clinton, whom he admires greatly. As the show opens, Bartlet is into his second year as president and engaging in the usual round of fighting off and trying to bring together the warring sides of Congress and the House of Representatives, while dealing with social, domestic, economic and foreign issues as part of his normal day. He is an educated man but not a snob, quick to laugh, slow to anger but when you pique his ire you had better watch out! He is a family man, dedicated to his wife and daughter, and always remembers where he came from, never losing sight of "the little guy" and doing his best to be his champion in his position as most powerful man in the world.

LEO McGARRY, played by John Spencer
White House Chief of Staff and main advisor to the President, Leo is the one who makes most policy and brings things to Barlet's attention. He is an old friend and confidante, and well loved throughout the White House as a kind of father figure by the younger staff members.

JOSH LYMAN, played by Bradley Whitford
Deputy Chief of Staff, it's Josh's responsibility to make sure that everything goes smoothly and that the President is not bothered by things that he, Josh, or his staff can deal with, and that most importantly, nothing embarrassing pops up to surprise him. He is in charge of all legislative affairs and arrangements, and second in authority only to Leo.

C.J. CREGG, played by Alison Janney
White House Press Secretary, it's she that takes and arranges the President's daily briefings and announcements, and it's up to her to present the best side of the administration to the world. She is the Face and Voice of the White House; she tells reporters what they need or what she wants them to hear, but there is much she will hold back, either until there is confirmation or the time is right, or sometimes just never released into the public domain.

TOBY ZIEGLER, played by Richard Schiff
White House Communications Director, he is CJ's direct boss, a quiet, intelligent man who is totally dedicated to his job and to Bartlet.

SAM SEABORN, played by Rob Lowe
Deputy Communications Director, Seaborn's position is the focus of the first few episodes of the series.

CHARLIE YOUNG, played by Dule Hill
Charlie comes to the White House looking for a job as a courier, but Bartlet is so impressed with him that he takes him on as his personal aide, and over the course of the series he becomes the president's closest advisor outside of the senior staff, and a good friend of his.

DONNA MOSS, played by Janel Moloney
Assistant to Josh, she is the one who often keeps him on the straight and narrow, despite himself. She also has a romantic interest in him. She's quite intelligent though a little scatterbrained, and yet probably the most organised of the senior staff. Josh pretends he only tolerates her, but in reality he could not function without her, and they both know it.

ABIGAIL BARTLET, played by Stockard Channing
Wife to the president and therefore First Lady, Abby is a doctor in her own right and has her own career and identity, so is not merely an extension of her powerful husband.

Obviously, in a sprawling organisation like the White House there are far more characters, some semi-regular, some not coming in till later seasons, but this is the basic cast that carries the show through its main run.

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Supernatural: “A very Supernatural Christmas”

Billed as one of the “most violent Christmas specials in the history of television”, the episode opens with a typically Christmassy scene, as a jolly grandfather visits his grandson and later, as Santa Claus, is suddenly pulled up the chimney by unseen hands, to the accompaniment of roars and screams, and all that comes back down is a bloodstained boot. This all happens within the originally fascinated and then horrified sight of his grandson. A year later another similar incident occurs, and Sam and Dean investigate, posing as agents from the FBI. After they find a sprig of mistletoe and a bloodied tooth up the chimney, Sam poses the possibility that they could be dealing with a rogue Santa, an evil brother to Jolly Old Saint Nick, who lore tells punishes the wicked. It's not much, but it's all they have to go on at the moment.

Turns out there have been two victims, and they both visited the same place before they died: Santa's Village. But the Santa they stake out seems to be nothing more than a harmless old man, while some distance away an evil figure climbs the stairs in another house and comes down dragging a bundle, a bundle which issues muffled protests as it is hauled down the stairs, again while a child watches. When the brothers investigate this, the second murder, they notice a wreath in the house identical to one they saw in that of the other victim. Bobby tells them that the wreaths smelled of Meadowsweet, which is a herb that was used in human sacrifices to attract the pagan gods. He describes it as “chum for the gods”. It seems that anyone who buys one of these wreaths may as well be asking to be killed. The obvious thing to do is to try to find out who's selling them.

The boys work out that the pagan god being summoned is most likely Hold Nickar, the god of the winter solstice, who rewards his supplicants with mild weather. In December in the middle of Michigan, where they are, there is no snow, which is certainly out of the ordinary. But when they locate a shop that was selling them --- they're all out now --- the shopkeeper tells them that he got them free from some lady who lives locally. As they discuss “doing Christmas” --- Sam is against it --- Dean points out that it is his last year; after this he will be in Hell, thanks to the pact he made with the demon in season two. But Sam says he can't do it for just that reason: Dean wants a last Christmas, but Sam can't just pretend everything is okay and celebrate the holiday season when he knows his brother will be dead the following year.

We see in flashback young Dean tell Sam about what their father really does, telling him that he is a demon hunter and their mother was taken by demons. Sam is shocked, but probably also angry that he wasn't let in on the secret, even if it is a horrible, scary one. When the boys in the present go to visit the woman purported to make the wreaths, a Madge Kerrigan, and her husband Edward, they are told that she has no more wreaths to sell, as she only made the number that she gave to the shop.

As the boys research the couple, they find that they originally came from Seattle, at the same time as two other mysterious murders took place at Christmas, and they only moved here, to Michigan, in January of this year. When they return to the Kerrigan's house a little exploration reveals a basement filled with blood, human debris, cutting tools and ... one bag that seems to still contain a living being! But as they reach for it the Kerrigans get the drop on them. They come to and find themselves in a sickeningly homely Christmas set. The two Kerrigans reveal themselves not to be the acolytes of pagan gods, but the actual gods themselves, and go on to bleed the two boys, taking their tribute as ancient deities. However a call at the door distracts them and when they return the brothers have got loose.

They break branches off the Kerrigans' Christmas tree to use as stakes, and impale both the monsters. After all they've been through, and remembering how Dean always tried to make Christmas special for him when they were young, Sam decorates the hotel room and they exchange presents. After all, it is going to be their last ever...

QUOTES
Sam: “It's gonna sound crazy...”
Dean: What could you possibly say to me that would sound crazy?”
Sam: “Evil Santa?”
Dean: “You're right: it's crazy.”

Dean: “Did you talk to Bobby? What did he say?”
Sam: “That we're morons.”

Dean: “She didn't charge you?” (for the wreaths)
Shopkeeper: “No.”
Dean: “Bet you didn't sell them for free?”
Shopkeeper: “Hell no! It's Christmas! People pay a buttload for this crap!”
Dean: “That's the spirit.”

Kerrigan: “Suddenly this Jesus character comes along, and he's the next big thing!”

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Year: 1970
Medium: Colour
Starring: Albert Finney, Alec Guinness, Edith Evans, Kenneth More
Directed by: Joseph Bowler
Length: 113 mins

Brief comments: I know this one very well. My sister loves it, and she had a VHS cassette she almost wore out watching, Christmas or not. It's the first colour adaptation, and even given the one above and the cartoon version, pretty much the first proper musical. I feel it will be hard to fault this in any area, but I've never watched it objectively before, so this will be interesting.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Well played by Finney, on both the grumpy side and the changed-man side. Sings well too. Probably worth an 8 here.
Marley: Sir Alec Guinness. Need I say more? A clear 10. Good visualisation and great acting, as you would expect. Not hammy in any way and quite true to the character in the story.
Cratchit: Annoyance factor doubled by the fact he sings, but still ok I guess. 6
Tiny Tim: REALLY annoying! And he sings in a soprano. Ugh. But he plays the part well. 4
Others: Bob's friend Tom, who sings "Thank you very much" is a revelation, a young Gordon Jackson with hair! Gotta give him a 6 for his performance.
The Ghosts: Ghost of Christmas Past: Very well played as an elderly, no-nonsense woman. Scenes of his past are good. A solid 6
Ghost of Christmas Present: A sort of mixture of the classic ideal from the novel and the Jolly Green Giant. Like the idea of the milk of human kindness. Pretty great all around, except for the exclusion of Want and Ignorance at the end. A good 8 here
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Good until they went and showed his skull-face, which while meant to be a shock was in fact nothing more than schlock, and battering you over the head --- look! He's a skeleton! Yeah, we guessed. Sorry, but that drops his rating down to 4.

Faithful to the novel: Mostly, but I have to take issue with the added-on bit at the end, where Scrooge actually ends up in Hell. Not in the story, and although it's clever and handled well, and we get to see Guinness again, it's unnecessary and seems tacked-on. Makes for a lower score than it should have got, and I can only muster 7 here.
Emotion level: Well, with a musical you're always going to have some, yes, but I wasn't all that particularly moved. Not as much as I was, for instance, with some of the less upbeat versions. So only 5 here.
Puke level: Other than Tiny Tim, there's nothing really, so for his sake I'll just throw in a little -2
Horror level: Nah, not really. The Hell scenes are done well but don't scare, the face of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is silly and Halloweenish, and there's no dividing of Scrooge's gear, which often adds the real horror element. A little too much concentrating on the songs and not so much on the actual story, so here there's a big fat zero.
Soundtrack: Well, what can you say? One of the best, if not the best ever soundtracks to a Scrooge movie. Great songs like “I hate people”, “Father Christmas”, the superb “Thank you very much” and the exuberant “I like life”. Solid 10 all round here.

So, total score then: 74
But with both Albert Finney and Alec Guinness in it that gives it an extra 10, plus a young Gordon Jackson and Roy Kinnear have cameos, so that's another five apiece, giving a
Grand Total of 94, highest score yet.

Year: 1938
Medium: Black-and-white
Starring: Reginald Owen, Gene Lockhart, Kathleen Lockhart, Barry MacKay
Directed by: Edwin L. Marin
Length: 69 mins

Brief comments: Considering this was the first time Hollywood really got a hold of the story, I don't feel they messed it up too much or put too much of a spin on it. They did add a few bits here and there and subtract others, which I'll detail later, but by and large this was probably one of the better versions I've seen so far, and I'm glad I shelled out the few bucks for the DVD. Was certainly worth waiting for.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Owen is perfect in the part; Scrooge is bent, withered, nasty and old. His transformation, unlike some others, is believable without being over the top, and you can actually see it happening gradually. Not perfect, but a good solid 8 certainly.
Marley: One of the best prior to Alec Guinness's defining portrayal of the melancholy ghost. For the time, the effects are good too: you can see through him, and he doesn't ham it up or go overboard. Very good all round. Another 8.
Cratchit: The least annoying of any of the portrayals of the clerk so far, bar none. I actually didn't hate him, and though the character is always something of a wimp he seemed to possess some sort of inner strength, a sense of defiance that none of the others did. I'll never I expect give a Cratchit a 10, but he definitely deserves a 9
Tiny Tim: Sorry, but the kid brings it all down again, though he's not quite so annoying. But it's hard to like him. I'll say a 6, to be kind.
Others: Fred is well played with great gusto and exuberance and Mrs Cratchit is something of a revelation. I think she and the actor who played Bob Cratchit are/were married in real life, as they both have the same surname. If so, their onscreen chemistry is explainable and very touching. 6 for Fred and 8 for Mrs C.
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: Holy crap she is stunningly gorgeous! Must have been a real heartbreaker in her day. Kind of reminds me, in her manner, of a good fairy godmother, though if they were all like this we'd everyone be crying to go to the ball! Got to give her a 9, easily.
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Very powerful, very direct and yet behind his booming laughter lies a note of reproach, not only to Scrooge but to men, who still try to fight in the street, even on Christmas! A good 7 for him.
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Always hard to do anything with this figure, but he's okay. Just about. A 5, to be fair.

Faithful to the novel: Really, no. There are several departures from the story, including Scrooge sacking Cratchit (which never happened), Scrooge being so incensed about Marley's ghostly appearance that he calls up the Watch to scare him off (never happened either) and several omissions, such as the dividing up of Scrooge's belongings, Scrooge cutting short the trip with the Ghost of Christmas Past (which does happen, but is seldom shown) and again no Want or Ignorance, which was an aspect of the Ghost of Christmas Present that I felt always really grounded the character and made him more than a buffoon who enjoyed the finer things in life. All in all, I can really only award this a low 4.
Emotion level: Some, but not much really. 4 again.
Puke level: Zero
Horror level: Zero; the absence of the trio dividing up Scrooge's things leaves this with no real sense of horror, to me.
Soundtrack: Average. Say a 4. Nothing special.

So our total then is 78, another quite high score. No real extra factors to bump that score up though.

Year: 1971
Medium: Colour (Animated)
Starring: Alastair Sim
Directed by: Richard Williams
Length: 25 mins

Brief comments: The first of what would become a slew of animated versions of the story (I kind of don't count “Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol” as it was based in the world of an already-known cartoon icon; this was written completely separate to any other cartoon, although others that would follow, particularly “Mickey's Christmas Carol”, would use well-known cartoon characters as the basis for, and participants in the story. As a version it's short so quite abridged, and few characters speak really. Cratchit barely says a word, Fred has his visit at the beginning but that's about it, and the Ghosts do their bit (well, two of them: The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come never speaks), and generally it's almost a one-man show. It is quite rushed though, however I must admit the animation really gives the feel of something that could have been created in Dickens' time. Decent enough.

CHARACTERS
Scrooge: Can only really concentrate on him, as he has the lion's share of the lines (sorry) but although this is Alastair Sim reprising his role from the 1951 movie, I don't feel he does the character justice here, and it's a bit of a fuddle-headed, confused performance. Quite poor I have to say. A generous 4.
Marley: Quite scary and of course given that this is animated they can do some interesting things, such as making his mouth seem twice the size it should be. Good job on him really. A solid 7
Cratchit: Almost non-existent. Very poor. A low 3 for him.
Tiny Tim: Same. He's hardly in it at all. A very low 2
Others: n/a
The Ghosts: The Ghost of Christmas Past: A good representation, if a bit rushed. Score of 6
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Again very good, best of the three, and it includes the skeletal figures of Want and Ignorance, which I remember at the time scared the crap out of me, as they're meant to. For that, mostly, I give him a good score of 8
The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Pretty standard. What can you do, after all, with a silent, ghostly hooded skeleton? 5.

Faithful to the novel: No. The story is shortened too much. What there is is faithful but there's so much left out or glossed over it has to get a low score. I know they were restricted, given the running time, but still, only a 4 here.
Emotion level: Zero
Puke level: Zero
Horror level: I would have said zero too, but the two figures of Want and Ignorance, especially as they awoke such terror in me as a child, have to rescue this and get it a decent 8.
Soundtrack: None really, so zero.

Total then is 47. Given that Sim reprises his role I would have awarded extra points, but the fact that he made such a dull, lifeless Scrooge second time around loses those points. The only other awards I can give is for the actual animation, which is really first class, so 7 for that, and the attendance of the legendary Chuck Jones gets it another 5, so the
Grand Total is then 69

So although all three scored quite highly in the end, we have a very clear winner. It's not that surprising, as it is acknowledged as generally one of the very best versions, and with a total score of 94 Albert Finney's 1970 musical blasts the competition to tatters and strides confidently and easily into the second round.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

All these Scrooge movies you're doing seem pretty traditional. Any off-the-wall interpretations you're doing/maybe I've missed due to laziness?

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Trollheart

It's what's out there. I'm doing them in chronological order, so around the 30s/40s/50s they weren't exactly innovative. Later we'll have Muppets, Disney and coming soon in a separate feature, Blackadder's Christmas Carol, which turns the whole story on its head for laughs, and many of them. I'm just going from a list on Wiki, so the next ones seem all pretty standardish. There is one that Patrick Stewart did as a one-man show on stage, but I seriously doubt I'll be able to track down a recording of it, which is a pity. When you have to stick generally to the storyline there's not a whole lot you can do and still remain true to the spirit of the novella. I think you'll enjoy the Blackadder one though.

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The Batlord

I guess it doesn't count, but I did find a Youtube vid of an audiobook of A Christmas Carol narrated by Patrick Stewart.

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Trollheart

Blackadder's Christmas Carol

To kind of tie in with my Scrooge Showdown, now in progress, but not included as it is a TV special and very different to any of the movies, here's the hilarious interpretation Ben Elton and Richard Curtis put on the classic tale. Sorry but I can't find it on YouTube...

For those of you who don't know, Edmund Blackadder is a character portrayed by British comedian Rowan Atkinson down through the ages, beginning in 14th century England, then moving on to Elizabethan times and then the eighteenth century before ending up in World War One. All through the series Blackadder is shown to be a devious fellow whose plans sometimes, but not always, come off the way he intends them to, but always with hilarious consequences. Through all four series and down through time he has always had a servant called Baldrick, though in "Blackadder goes forth", the final series set in wartorn France, he is an aide-de-camp to Blackadder, who is a captain in the army.

Turning the concept of the story entirely on its head, Ebeneezer Blackadder (what? You thought he'd be called Scrooge?) is known throughout London as the kindest, most generous man in the city, perhaps in the country. To the poor he opens his doors, to the destitute he renders any assistance he can. He sees the good in all men, and because of his trusting, almost naively innocent nature, is a target for every user, scoundrel and conman that crosses his path. He is taken advantage of by family and friends, all of whom see him as a soft touch. His only real friend, Mister Baldrick, loves him for who he is but is equally unable to make his master see the way others use him for their own needs.

Meanwhile, at the palace, Queen Victoria is about to set forth with her husband Albert on their traditional “Christmas adventure”, when they disguise themselves as ordinary folk and seek out people to reward for their kindness to their fellow man. When they reach Blackadder's house they manage to get his turkey, the last thing he has left after having been robbed of all his money (by Mrs Scratchett and an urchin), his presents (by his god-daughter Millicent) his tree (same) and his nuts (by the Beadle). Dejected, and with nothing, he heads to bed, but Baldrick tells him that while he was out a strange ghostly being entered, telling him that they would have a visitation that night. Shaking his head, Blackadder retires.

That night, the Ghost of Christmas enters, but seems to be just passing through, as he says Blackadder is such a good man there is no need for him to try to convert him. He does however accept a drink, and gets to talking with Blackadder, telling him about his ancestors, most of whom were mean, nasty people, as we know. We're then treated to special “flashbacks” to previous Blackadder shows, such as Blackadder II, where we see the Queen abolish Christmas, Blackadder petulantly destroy the painting he had been about to give her, only for her to change her mind about Christmas and leave him facing execution. Being Blackadder though, he manages to trick her into signing a death warrant for Lord Melchet instead, and is thus saved from the axe.

Having seen this, Ebeneezer Blackadder is most impressed at his ancestor's guile and cunning, and when the Spirit shows him another of his forebears, Blackadder III, who lived around the 1790s, he is further enchanted. This particular ancestor tries to trick his master, the Prince Regent, who has about as many braincells as a fish has bicycle clips, into handing over all his Christmas presents to Baldrick, dressed as an old woman with a tale of woe. Unfortunately, he becomes a victim of his own plan when Baldrick lets in an actual poor old woman who happens by, collecting for charity, and it is to her that all the Prince's presents go.

Again, his descendant marvels at the ingenuity of the long-dead relative, and asks to be shown his own future, should he change his ways and become like his forebears. In this possible future he sees himself as the commander of a galactic fleet, marrying the queen of the universe. Then he checks to see what would happen if he remains as he is, and is less than pleased with the results, as he is now subservient to Baldrick! After seeing this he decides to change who he is. The next morning he sets about being as mean and nasty as he can be, getting his own back on those who have taken advantage of him over the years. And because everyone expects him to still be the kind, snivelling old soft touch he was, his plan works brilliantly. Enemy after enemy is despatched, from the grasping Mrs Scratchett and her not-so-crippled son to his own god-daughter, who is sent running with a flea in her ear. Even his oldest friend, Mister Baldrick, is not safe from his new persona, as he reverts to the type of man he has seen his ancestors were.

Unfortunately, the Queen chooses that day, Christmas Day to revisit Ebeneezer to reward his philantrophy, kindness and general niceness, but he is now a miserable skinflint, caustic and horrible to everyone, and failing to recognise Victoria and Albert he insults them and throws them out of the house. And there, in one day, go his hopes of ever being Baron Blackadder, the nicest man in England.

QUOTES
Blackadder (off camera): “Humbug! Humbug!” (Coming in the door with bag of sweets) “Humbug, Mister Baldrick?”

Blackadder (looking at Baldrick's Christmas card: “Christmas has an “h” in it, Mister Balrdick. And an “r”. Also an “i”, an “s”, also a “t”, an “m” and “a”, and another “s”. Oh, and you've missed out the “C” at the beginning. Congratulations, Mister Baldrick: something of a triumph I think: you must be the first person who's ever spelled “Christmas” without getting any of the letters right at all!”

Mrs Scratchett: “No goose for Tiny Tom this year!”
Blackadder: “Mrs Scratchett, Tiny Tom is fifteen stone and built like a brick privy! If he eats any more heartily he will turn into a pie shop!”

Blackadder: “What a jolly fellow!”
Baldrick: “Looked like a fat git to me.”
Blackadder: “Well, yes, but you mustn't judge people from outside appearances, Mr. Baldrick. Strip away the outer layers from a fat git and inside you'll probably find...”
Baldrick: “A thin git.”

Blackadder: “I detect from your accent, sir, that you are not from around here.”
Prince Albert: “Er, nein! I am from ... Glas-gow.”

Baldrick: “Night night. Oh, I forgot to mention: while you were out there there was this enormous ghostly creature came in saying Beware, for tonight you shall receive a strange and terrible visitation! Just thought I'd mention it. It come through the wall, it said its piece, and then it sodded off.”

Ghost: “Spirit of Christmas, how d'ye do? Just doing my rounds. A wee bit of haunting, making evil old misers change their ways. Course, you're such a good fellow there'll be no need for any of that nonsense! So I'll just say cheery-bye and be on my way.”
Blackadder: “Can I offer you a cup of tea?”
Ghost: “Ye wouldn't have anything a wee bit more ... medicinal?”
Blackadder: “Only Nurse McCreedy's Surgical Brews Lotion.”
Ghost: “Hey! Nothing but the best in this house!”

Baldrick: “Have you anything for me?”
Blackadder II: “Oh, it's nothing really...”
Baldrick: “Oh sir!”
Blackadder II: “No, really. It's nothing. I didn't get you anything.”

Blackadder II: “Melchet, greetings! I trust that Christmas brings you its traditional mix of good food and violent stomach cramps.”
Melchet: “Compliments of the season to you, Blackadder. May the yuletide log slip from your fire and burn your house down.”

Blackadder II: “Hah! Got him with my subtle plan!”
Baldrick: “I can't see any subtle plan.”
Blackadder II: “Baldrick, you wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked upon a harpsichord singing Subtle plans are here again!”

Queen: “I want presents! Give me something nice and shiny. And if you don't I have something nice and shiny for you. It's called an axe!”

Blackadder III, explaining the rules of Charades: “If it was the Bible I'd do this (holds up two fingers) to indicate it has two syllables...”
Prince Regent: “Two what?”
Blackadder III: “Two syllables.”
Prince: “Two silly bulls? Don't remember any silly bulls in the Bible! I remember a fatted calf, but from what I can recall that was quite a sensible animal.”

Blackadder III: “So, shall I begin the Christmas story then?”
Prince: “Absolutely. As long as it's not that terribly depressing one about the chap who gets born on Christmas Day, shoots his mouth off about everything under the sun and comes a cropper with a couple of rum coves on top of a hill in Johnny Arabland!”
Blackadder III: “You mean Jesus?”
Prince: “Yes, keep him out. He always spoils the Xmas atmos!”

Spirit: “It does point to a very clear lesson.”
Ebeneezer Blackadder: “Namely?”
Spirit: “Uh, namely ... that the rewards of virtue are largely spiritual, but all the better for it.”
Ebeneezer: “Really? You don't think it points to the more obvious lesson that bad guys have more fun?”

Ebeneezer: “Don't be too downhearted, Mr Baldrick, for if you look down in the bottom of the sock, you'll see there's something there from me. And it's something I made myself.”
Baldrick: “Well that's the kind of gift that shows the most love! What is it?”
Ebeneezer: “It's ... (withdrawing his hand from the stocking) “a fist! You use it for hitting!” (Demonstrates) “And the wonderful thing about it is, you can use it again (hits Baldrick) and again!”

Ebeneezer: “Love, I should warn you, is like a Christmas cracker. One massively disappointing bang and the novelty soon wears off!”

Mrs Scratchett: “Ah Mr. Ebeneezer. I was wondering if you had a little present for me? Or found me a little fowl for Tiny Tom's Christmas?”
Ebeneezer: “I've always found you foul, Mrs. Scratchett, and more than a little. As for Tiny Tom, he can stuff it up his enormous muscular backside!”
Mrs Scratchett: “But 'e's a cripple!”
Ebeneezer: “He's not a cripple, Mrs Scratchett. Occasionally saying “Phew my leg hurts!”when he remembers to wouldn't fool Baldrick! If I was you I'd scoop him out and use him as a houseboat. Good day!”

Queen Victoria: “We are Queen Victoria!”
Baldrick: “What? All three of you?”

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

I had originally not intended to cover this, but I've changed my mind. It did, after all, kickstart the whole franchise and while some of the stories tend to make you roll your eyes a little, there's some good original drama there, and not a small amount of occasional comic genius. Therefore, as the grandaddy of all Trek, it seems only appropriate that I should delve into the original series.

One of the first ever proper science-fiction dramas to hit the television, Star Trek was conceived by Gene Roddenberry, who was at the time writing for western shows such as “Whiplash”, “Have gun will travel” and other series, mostly western or police-oriented. Having submitted a pilot for his new science-fiction series, Roddenberry was advised to “get rid of the guy with the ears”, advice he fought against and which it turns out was just as well he did, as Spock ended up becoming, as almost everyone on the planet knows, one of the most famous and well-known characters on television, not just in sci-fi. But the original pilot was far from what the series would eventually look like, featuring a different captain, Majel Barret (who would go on to star not only as Nurse Chapel in the series but later marry Roddenberry) as his number one (a phrase that would not be reused in Star Trek until it was rebooted in 1987 and Picard began calling his second-in-command by that designation) and a very animated Spock wearing what seems to be a turtleneck!

Although the original pilot, “The Cage”, fared badly with NBC, the backers, mostly because contrary to Roddenberry pitching the series as “Wagon Train to the stars” --- Wagon Train being a popular western adventure series on TV around that time --- the first episode of Star Trek was considered too cerebral and weighty for the spoonfed American TV audiences. NBC must have seen something in it though, as they commissioned a second pilot (something rarely, if ever done) and dismissing almost the entire cast Roddenberry began again with what would go on to be the classic lineup of Captain Kirk, Mister Spock, Scotty and McCoy, with the ship now called the USS Enterprise. And thus a legend was born.

Throughout its run, Star Trek became famous for filtering messages through its plotlines, comments on society that few if any other shows dared broach. Over three seasons the show tackled such concepts as prejudice, war, racism, power without responsibility and even torture and rape. It was also the first show to feature a black cast member in a prominent role, this being Nichelle Nichols as communications officer Lieutenant Uhura, and went further in its attempt to break down barriers in typecasting by including oriental, Russian and even Irish characters: a true cosmopolitan galaxy.

Much of Star Trek's strength, and its enduring legacy, was its knack of balancing drama with comedy while maintaining a strong family feeling between the main characters. Kirk, despite being of about the same age as his fellow officers, or younger in some cases, was presented as a sort of father figure, tough and principled but always ready to smile when the situation called for it, or make light of a potentially tense situation. The result was a man whom others would follow, almost a superman, seemingly incapable of error or defeat, though he suffered both, which just showed us that he was after all just a man. The Enterprise's voyages took them to many distant planets, and to many an adventure. Unlike later Trek series (to a degree anyway) events in Star Trek were always wrapped up by the end credits, usually with a joke and a laugh before the theme played, and as a rule situations that had arisen in last week's episode would not be carried through to, nor even mentioned in the next or subsequent episodes.

The series made stars of a young William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and DeForest Kelley, who became the sort of triumvirate of the series: Kirk, Spock and “Bones”, as the doctor was affectionately called by the captain. It gave rise to a whole series of movies, four spin-off series and became the first building block in a mighty franchise that would revolutionise television science-fiction and drama, and which would not be challenged for another ten years, when Star Wars hit the big screen. It's said that somewhere in the world, Star Trek is played every second or something like that. I can believe it. Even if you hate it with a passion, I can guarantee you'll have heard of Kirk, The Enterprise and Spock. It's just ... logical.

CAST

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK, played by William Shatner: The Captain of the USS Enterprise, he is the man in charge and the focus of just about every episode of the series. Even when he's not there the others are talking about him. A brilliant tactician, a fearless commander and one of Starfleet Academy's brightest pupils, Kirk led the Enterprise through three seasons of adventure and later, into the other “final frontier”, as he starred in six Star Trek movies, even popping up in the seventh. It's rumoured he may be in the new, rebooted Trek franchise too.


COMMANDER SPOCK, played by Leonard Nimoy: Second-in-command on the starship, Spock (no other name) is also the Science Officer. He is a Vulcan, from the planet, um, Vulcan. His people have, contrary to popular belief, emotions, but keep them very much under check, preferring to live their lives by the cold dictates of logic alone. This makes Spock seem a very dour, grim person, and mostly he is, but as the series goes on his exposure to humans --- he is half-human on his mother's side --- begins to tell, and he has even been known to smile once or twice.

DOCTOR LEONARD McCOY, played by DeForest Kelley: The ship's CMO, McCoy is a resident of Georgia and speaks with a thick southern accent. He is probably one of the oldest on the ship, and Kirk frequently refers to him as “Bones” (though nobody else does), probably a reference to the old term for doctors, “sawbones”. McCoy has a pathological fear of the transporter, the device by which the crew of the Enterprise move from ship to planet, their atoms being disassembled at departure point and reassembled at the arrival point. He does not think it's right, “scattering a man's atoms across the galaxy” and will only “beam down” when absolutely necessary.

LIEUTENANT-COMMANDER MONTGOMERY SCOTT, played by James Doohan: Known to most people as “Scotty”, he is the Chief Engineer and perfers to spend his off-hours reading technical manuals or strolling around the Enterprise, making sure all is in working order, “listening” to the ship. As his name implies, he is Scottish, and also speaks with a very noticeable accent (although Doohan was Canadian); he is known throughout Starfleet as one of the most capable engineers they have, and has a reputation as something of a miracle worker.

LIEUTENANT HIKARU SULU, played by George Takei: Helmsman on the Enterprise, Sulu is Japanese and navigates the ship, usually remaining on board though occasionally taking part in planetary exploration.

LIEUTENANT UHURA, played by Nichelle Nichols: The communications officer on the ship, she is responsible for putting any messages through to Kirk. Basically a glorified telephone operator, but she does hold the distinction, as I noted above, of being the first African-American female to land a proper recurring role in a TV drama that had some substance to it.

NURSE CHRISTINE CHAPEL, played by Majel Barret (later Barret-Roddenberry) she is the nurse who assists Doctor McCoy, and she has an unrequited love for Mister Spock.

These are the main characters from episode two on. There are some slight changes as the season progresses, and I'll advise these as they make their appearance. Star Trek was not however a series given to either killing off its characters or changing them in the way other series in the franchise would, by having them assigned to starbases, conducting months-long research etc. By and large, once the main cast settled down they were there for the duration.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018