Trollheart

1.12 "Miracle on Third or Fourth Street"

It's Christmas and Frasier is looking forward to seeing his son for the first time in years. Unfortunately it doesn't happen as a better opportunity comes up and Freddie's going to Austria instead. Frasier flies into a sulk, then a rage and refuses to go up to the log cabin to which all four of them --- Niles, Maris, Martin and Frasier --- were supposed to be going to spend Christmas. He decides to oblige Bulldog, who had asked him to take his slot on Christmas Day, but of course only the loneliest, saddest people are listening to the radio at such a time, and he just gets more depressed.

After the show he goes for something to eat, but the only place he can find that's open or not booked out is a greasy spoon, where he makes friends with some homeless guys. He finishes his meal and goes to leave, then discovers to his embarrassment that he has left his wallet back at the station, but the homeless guys all club together to help him out, thinking he is one of them. It's the selfless outpouring of human kindness that he's been waiting for, looking for, hoping for all day. His own personal little Christmas miracle. Even if he is humiliated in the process.

QUOTES
Frasier: "Niles! What brings you here?"
Niles: "Oh I just dropped by to ask Daphne's opinion on a little present I got for Maris."
(Daphne emerges from her room, clad in a short, skintight dress and twirls.)
Daphne: "It's a bit tight under the arms. Shall I put back on the little red one so you can make your choice?"
Frasier (witheringly): "I think Niles has all the information he needs."
Daphne: "Fair enough." (Returns to her room, Niles watching her retreating behind longingly.)
Niles (defensively): "You know, Daphne and Maris are about the same size."
Frasier: "Give or take a foot!"

THE DRY WIT OF ROZ
Bulldog: "You can tell Father Mike has had a few: he's trying to get everyone to re-enact the Nativity scene!"
Roz: "Well, we know who we can get to play the ass!"

AND ISN'T THAT...?
Rosemary Clooney plays Gladys and Mel Brooks voices Tom. Who voices Barry, who does little but cry on his call, I don't know. Oh wait: yes I do. It's Ben Stiller. Well, if I had as little acting talent as him I'd cry too. Also features Dominick Dunne as Jeff and Eric Stolz as Don.

1.13 "Guess who's coming to breakfast?"

Frasier is a little embarrassed to find that his father's date stayed over from the previous night, but once he's got past that (and made a show of himself in front of Elaine) he is happy for his dad. Unfortunately he says so on the air, using names which was totally inappropriate. His father is not happy with his personal laundry being aired in public, so Frasier has to try to make it better. He goes on-air and asks Elaine to talk to his father, tells her he misses her and she should not hold Martin responsible for Frasier's mistake. He sets up a special romantic dinner in his apartment, hoping Elaine will come.

It backfires though, as everyone else in the building has heard the broadcast and thinking it the most romantic thing in the world, treat it as some sort of soap opera and further embarrass poor Elaine. It's up to Martin to try to convince her to give it another go.

QUOTES
Maryann: "Kids! You can't live with 'em, you can't shove 'em back in the womb!"

Frasier: "I need you to take dad out on Friday night."
Niles: "Oh! I wish you had said Saturday."
Frasier: "You have plans on Friday?"
Niles: "No, I have plans on Saturday."

Frasier: "Oh Niles! Nobody refers to sex as "getting lucky" any more!"
Niles: "I do."

I'd like now to reconfigure this section. As with my other series "And isn't that...?" will refer to guest stars who should be well known, but for the guest callers I'll be putting them in a separate section which I'm now going to call
THANKS FOR CALLING

Piper Laurie as Marieann, Elijah Wood as Ethan and Henry Mancini as Al

CHILDHOOD REVISITED
One of the endearing things about "Frasier" is that although the main character and his brother are grown men, references are often made to their growing up, and their father can, with a word or a gesture often make them feel like little kids again. It's quite funny to see these two forty-year olds argue like children and be verbally slapped down by Martin, showing us that no matter how old they get in years, Frasier and Niles are at heart still two bickering little boys. It's also heartening to see the effect a well-chosen word from their father can have on these two grown and professional men.

Here, Frasier is made to feel the naughty kid twice. When he returns to the apartment after having spoken about his father's private affairs on air, Martin tells him he wants a word with him and calls him "mister", obviously an epithet that evokes times when he was in trouble in Frasier's mind, as he grins "Sounds like someone's being taken out behind the woodshed!" to which Martin snaps "Don't tempt me!"

But far more effective is the closing scenes when Martin, tired of his son interfering in his life, orders him to face the wall. And he does. It's clear that no matter how old Frasier --- or Niles --- get, they're still as respectful and in some ways fearful of their old man, to the point where they can still get an earbashing or a ticking-off. It's also interesting that Martin can still picture his sons, even dressed in Armani and driving BMWs, as the little kids he helped his wife raise decades ago. At times, Frasier and Niles will always be his little boys.

1.14 "Can't buy me love"
Against his better judgement, Frasier has agreed to participate in a Batchelors' Auction for charity, as a favour to his dad. Bulldog has also agreed. Luckily, Frasier has been bought by a total babe and he is most happy. Bulldog has been bought by ... Daphne! She had started bidding when the action slowed and is now aghast to find that her bid was the only one, so she is stuck with him. Frasier makes an arrangement to meet Christina, his new "owner", but it turns out that she has been called to a shoot --- she's a model, of course! --- at the last moment and asks him if he could babysit her daughter. Left with no choice Frasier agrees.

Things do not go well. Frasier is not good with children and Renata is a typical product of the modern world, spending all her time on the phone to her friends, sulking and throwing cheetos to Eddie. She then starts badmouthing her mother, telling Frasier that she is a bad parent who hates her, which surprisingly, considering he's talking to a child who is annoyed at having been left with a man she does not know, Frasier believes. Bulldog seems to have met his match in Daphne, who is totally squiffy and gets him involved in a fight with a much bigger man.

When Frasier --- again, how can he be so stupid? --- confronts Christina about her qualfications for motherhood it of course transpires that Renata was lying, and nothing she said is true. Frasier though, in choosing to blindly believe the little girl --- why? --- has scuppered any chances of having a romantic night with the woman, who stalks off, highly affronted, and well she might be.

QUOTES
Daphne: "Why does Maris take the train? Why doesn't she fly to Chicago?"
Niles: "She won't fly, ever since that harrowing incident."
Daphne: "Oh dear! Did the plane nearly crash?"
Niles: "No. She was bumped down from First Class. She still wakes up screaming."

Martin: "Relax willya?"
Frasier: "That's easy for you to say! You're not the one jumping into the rottweiler pit with a pork chop around your neck!"

TJ: "It was horrible! They're like sharks out there, a feeding frenzy! The one who bought me had a crazy look in her eye!" (Enter Roz, looking hungry)
Roz: "Where do I pay?"

Frasier: "Child development is not my thing. My area of expertise is adult relations."
Christina: "Well, you won't be having any of those tonight!"

Christina: "Oh, and I only have one kidney: guess who has the other one?"

As there are no scenes in the station this episode we have no guest callers to mention.

EGGHEAD
I've alluded to it above but really, come on! Frasier can't be that gullible. A twelve-year old moody girl who has been, as she sees it, dumped by her mother with an unknown man, tells him pretty horrible things about that mother and Frasier, a perfectly well-balanced and intelligent and experienced individual, not to mention a practicing psychiatrist! --- believes her without a shred of proof? He doesn't even ASK Christina, even in some oblique way (asking to see her alleged tattoo would be a start, or how old the child is) to try to suss out the truth before he blunders right in and accuses her of being a bad mother! Are we really supposed to believe that a man so well used to dealing with the human heart and mind could honestly make such a mistake, which ends up costing him not only his evening, but potentially a real relationship?

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1.5 "Serge and Toni"

Seven years ago, we see an angry Toni shout at his mother "Why did you let him out?" and go looking for his brother, who is in the underpass attacking Catwoman, who we now know to be Julie. He arrives just in time to pull his brother off her, saving her life, and taking her to the hospital where he leaves her outside and rings the emergency bell. Knocking his brother out he begins to bury him, as their mother watches with a broken heart. Serge regains consciousness as the dirt is shovelled down upon him and cries out for his mother, but Toni hits him again with the spade and continues burying him alive.

Again, we cut to present day where this time instead of attacking her, Serge has taken Lena to his cottage and is caring for her. Toni arrives and his brother pretends that the other voice he can hear is their mother, but because Toni killed his brother their mother will not see him, and he drives away, disconsolate. At the Helping Hand, Victor is discovered to have disappeared, as well as a homeless lady who was there, who turns out to be the wife of Mr. Costa, Vivianne. She and Victor have gone to the American Diner, where Simon earlier attacked the bartender. Vivianne tells Victor that he needn't be scared; no-one can hurt him now, but the boy wants to know if he can hurt other people?

Adele asks her class if they know what is beneath the lake, telling them that there is a whole village buried there, and that it was flooded when the old dam burst. In the midst of her pupils' questions she thinks she hears Chloe asks why Simon killed himself, but she can't be sure. She also thinks she sees him outside the class. Beneath the lake, divers are amazed to find many dead animals floating. Deer. Foxes. Cows. There is no explanation for why they are there, or how they came to be in the water. Serge treats Lena's wound with a compound of nettles, which seems to heal it. Despite her promise, Chloe tells Thomas about Simon and he tells her she is to call him if "the angel" shows up again. She agrees to do so.

Laure comes to tell Julie that Victor has gone; in fact, she expects to find him in her apartment but he is not there and Julie is angry that her friend has let him go off with some homeless woman, as she sees it. Simon is brought to Camille's house by Pierre; he is introduced to the girl as being "like her". He is going to stay with them for a while till the heat dies down; with Victor and Vivianne missing the police will be swarming all over the Helping Hand, and it is not safe there for him. Camille hopes to get some answers out of Simon but he seems to know as little about why they were brought back as she does. He asks her to take a message to Adele, which she agrees to, quipping "We zombies must stick together."

In the hospital, doctors are amazed to find that, close to death when she was brought in, Lucy is in fact recovering. Her wounds are healing and she is getting stronger. Vivianne has been spotted by the police, but alone. When Julie goes to see her in the station, she realises that she is in fact, as she has been saying, Mr. Costa's wife, dead now for several decades. She is evasive about how she died though, changing her story for each person who asks. She confirms that Victor is also dead, and Julie tells her that she thinks she may also be dead, though Vivianne cannot confirm that for her. Camille takes Simon's message to Adele, to meet him that night so they can go away together. She says however she will not be coming.

Autopsies of the animals reveal that they all died by drowning, and the only possible explanation is that they ran, willingly, into the lake rather than face whatever was chasing them. They feared it more than drowning. Jerome goes to visit Lucy in hospital and is told about her miraculous recovery. Lena though is still missing and he is looking for her. Julie has decided to test her theory about possibly being dead by climbing onto the windowledge of her apartment, but she is stopped by the arrival of Laure, who then gets a call that Victor has been spotted. As she heads off to check Julie insists on going with her.

Victor has in fact returned to the Helping Hand, telling Pierre that he is dead, and that it was Pierre who killed him. Victor does not believe Pierre's claim that he tried to save him, and causes another vision or re-enactment of the fateful day. When Pierre's partner appears this time though and aims his gun at Victor Pierre fights back, wrestling with him for the weapon. In the midst of all this Julie and Laure arrive and the scene breaks down. When Simon realises Adele is not coming he goes to her house to try to convince her to leave with him, and Chloe calls Thomas, who arrives on the scene and shoots Simon. In the hospital, Lucy suddenly wakes up!

QUESTIONS?
Why did all the animals drown? What could have scared them so much that they would run into the lake rather than face it?

How are Lucy's wounds healing, and is this in some way related to her power to contact the dead? Was she in fact killed by Serge and now coming back to life?

Is Julie dead? We have seen that she was attacked by the same man as Lucy, and barely survived. But did she?

Is Simon now dead? He has been shot, but as he was already dead beforehand, can he be killed a second time? Or will he rise again? Can any of the "Revenants" be killed? If Vivianne Costa is to be taken as an example, she survived the burning of her husband's house and looks none the worse for wear.

And speaking of Mr. Costa's wife, why does she keep changing her story about how she died? And how, and when, did she die?

What is going on with the lake? Why is the water level dropping so rapidly?

With a history of unbalanced and murderous behaviour, why is Serge so keen to save Lena, rather than kill her and eat her liver, as he has done, or tried to do, at least twice already? What is so special about her?

And finally, some ANSWERS (raising more questions)
We have seen from this episode at least that Toni, though blamed for the almost-murder of Julie, actually saved her by rescuing her from his insane psychopathic brother. The fact that he obviously never mentioned Serge to the police, having buried him alive, would have meant that he would have been the last one to have seen her prior to her attack, but then again, if the underpass is covered by CCTV then why did the police not see him coming out with her body? Or did they, and just assume he had killed her, or tried to?

WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE
It's clear now that the dropping level of water in the reservoir is a cause for concern, and divers are down there trying to discover the cause. But while there they encounter the strangest thing: many animals floating beneath the lake, animals who seem to have voluntarily run into the water. The only explanation the police pathologist can give Thomas about this odd behaviour is that they were running from something, and that it terrified them more than the prospect of drowning. Was it the Revenants they were fleeing from, or something much worse?

We've also learned that some time ago (we're not told when, but it's certainly within living memory) the dam broke and the town flooded, and that the current one stands on the ruins of the previous, which is buried at the bottom of the lake. Now that the water level is falling, the old town is coming back up to the surface. Can this somehow be linked in with the dead coming back to life?

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Season 2 "Like life, only better!"

2.3 "Thanks for the memory"

On an asteroid somewhere, the "boys from the Dwarf" celebrate the anniversary of Rimmer's death, his 'deathday'. Completely blitzed out of their skulls, the four return to Red Dwarf, and Lister and Rimmer indulge in the time-honoured chat-after-you're-pissed-drunk, wherein Rimmer wonders why no-one likes him, when he does, as he sees it, everything right. Lister tells him that he needs to have time for people, and Rimmer reveals his innermost secrets, including the amount of times he has ever made love in his life (once!). Lister warns him not to tell him this most personal of secrets, but Rimmer is way out on the edge of the Drunkzone, and he ignores Lister, telling him anyway. Lister tells him he will regret it in the morning when he wakes up, sobres up and remembers what he has done...

The next morning when he wakes up, sobres up and remembers what he has done Rimmer is aghast and begs Lister not to tell anyone what he revealed to him. Lister, however, has problems of his own: he has awoken with not only a broken leg, but it is set in a cast as well! He can't for the life of him understand how this happened, and the mystery deepens further when the Cat hobbles in with the same complaint! In addition to this, although it is now Sunday, both clocks in the cabin say it is Thursday, and there are four pages missing from Lister's diary, not to mention the fact that the jigsaw Lister was doing the previous night is now completed, a feat he does not remember accomplishing.

Rimmer of course believes that was has happened is down to aliens, his favourite hobby horse. He postulates that the breaking of both Lister and the Cat's legs may have been an attempt by the mysterious aliens to communicate with them. Lister asks Holly to check what has happened by consulting the Black Box flight recorder, but when Holly goes to look for it he can't find it, and so they set off in search of the signal the Black Box emits. They find it on a moon, and on the way to recover it come across a series of what looks like huge flat footprints, and then, as they come across the Black Box they find it is in a shallow grave, marked with a tombstone, on which is the legend To the memory of the memory of Lisa Yates. This really spooks Lister, who says that he once used to go out with a girl called Lisa Yates...

Taking the Black Box back to Red Dwarf, they run the tape and find that after Rimmer had drifted off to sleep on that fateful night, Lister and the Cat had gone down to the hologram simulation suite in order that Lister could download eight months of his memory into Rimmer's unit, and thus give him memories of a romance Lister had had, with a girl called ... Lisa Yates! Wakening the next morning, Rimmer believed that he had had the affair, and was a very happy man. Lister of course played along with the fantasy, and although Rimmer was unable to resolve certain incongruities in the sequence of events (he being an orphan when his parents were alive, his moving to Liverpool for no apparent reason, and so on), the memory was so vivid and so pleasant to a man who had in reality only ever once made love to a woman that he ignored the discrepancies and lost himself in the recollection of the affair.

The whole thing went spectacularly wrong however when Rimmer "found the letters" Lister had written to Lisa, and suspected that he had been seeing 'his' girlfriend behind his back. Lister then had to explain what he had done, and Rimmer, shattered, made him promise to erase the short-term memories of all four so that no trace of the last four days should remain. In addition, Rimmer insisted they get rid of the Black Box, which they buried on a nearby moon. Lister, however, marked it with the tombstone, wanting to be able to find it again if need be. While they were carrying the tombstone to the quickly-dug and shallow grave in which they had placed the flight recorder though, the slab slipped and landed on both the Cat and Lister's feet (thus explaining the broken legs, and the "footprints", where the stone fell onto the moon's surface). Back at Red Dwarf, Lister tore the pages of his diary out, so that no evidence of what had transpired would remain, and then as they went to erase their memories, he placed the last piece of the jigsaw in place.

Best lines/quotes/scenes

The Cat gives his withering appraisal of Rimmer’s attempts to dance:

CAT: “Ha! You call that dancing? I've seen people on fire move better than that!”

The Deathday cake:

HOLLY: “What's that then?”
LISTER: “It's in the shape of a spanner, Holly, cos he was a technician.”
HOLLY: “Well that's very apt that is. If he'd been a postman you'd have baked it in the shape of an envelope I suppose?”
LISTER: “Yeah!”
HOLLY: “Gordon Bennett! It's lucky he's not a gynaecologist!”

What time is it?

LISTER: “What time is it?”
RIMMER crawls unsteadily to the clock and peers at it blearily. He is clearly suffering the awful after-effects of drinking.
RIMMER: “Saturday.”
LISTER: “Is that the best you can do?”
RIMMER: “There are some numbers next to it, but they could be anything.”

Rimmer has not yet met the right girl…

LISTER: “So, I mean, you haven't met the right girl yet.”
RIMMER: (With overdone sarcasm) “No, I haven't, Lister. I haven't met the right girl. And some just might say, (wags finger) given the fact that the human race no longer exists, coupled with the fact that I have passed on, some just might say that I'm leaving it a little bit on the late side!”

Aliens! Again.

RIMMER: “Somehow we've lost the last four days.”
CAT: “Did you look behind the fridge? If you lose something it's nearly always there.”
RIMMER: “Aliens!”
LISTER: “What?”
CAT: “What are you talking about, grease stain?”
RIMMER: “It's a well documented phenomenon. They kidnap you, give you a mind probe, erase your memory, and put you back.”
LISTER: “OK, aliens came aboard”.
RIMMER:”Without question”.
LISTER: “They broke my leg.”
RIMMER: “For some reason.”
CAT: “They broke MY leg.”
RIMMER: “Right.”
HOLLY: “And then they did a jigsaw.”
RIMMER: “Right.”
HOLLY: “Well, that's cleared that up then.”
RIMMER: “Look, you're not thinking alien. That's what aliens are: alien.They do alien things. Things that are... (shrugs) alien. Maybe this is the way they communicate.”
CAT: “By breaking legs?”LISTER: “And doing jigsaws?”
RIMMER: “Why should they speak the way we do? They're aliens.”
LISTER: “OK, professor, what does it mean?”
RIMMER: “Maybe, maybe, OK? Breaking your leg hurts like hell, OK? "Hel." They do it below the knee, "lo." "Hel-lo," gettit? They do it twice -- twice, "two." "Hello two." And the jigsaw must mean "you." "Hello to you."
CAT: “I wouldn't like to be around when one of these suckers is making a speech!”

The Cat is disappointed…
CAT: “What is this place?”
LISTER: “It's the hologram simulation suite. This is the room that creates Rimmer.”
CAT: “Have we come to blow this room up?”

Notes:

It’s an interesting departure for the series as it reaches the midway point of its second season, with a sort of whodunnit in space. It’s very cleverly written: without the backstory there is no way in hell you could ever figure it out, and if you tell me you did, then you’re a liar. A filthy, smegging, lying, smegging filthy liar! It’s not the greatest episode in season two (we’ve probably just covered that) but it is very inventive and shows another reason why Red Dwarf could distance itself from other comedy shows of the time, and why it still stands up today, so long after it was originally written.

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2.5 "Simon said"

Sam has another of his visions, in which he sees a man shoot another in a gun shop and then take his own life. This has in fact already played out in the opening scene, where a doctor enters the shop of a friend he knows, loads a shotgun, shoots him and then turns the gun on himself. We've also seen that, prior to this murder/suicide, the doctor took a call which seemed to instruct him to do this. Sam suggests they head to the Roadhouse and consult Ash, as his visions are usually linked to the appearance of the demon they're hunting, but Dean is more cautious, pointing out that if the hunters there realise that Sam has this power they may start looking at him as less of an ally and more as possible quarry.

Ash is unable to find any trace of the demon, so Sam asks if there were any housefires in the area from which his vision has been tracked to have come, Guthrie, Oklahoma. They hit paydirt, and Sam and Dean head off to Guthrie to see if this is another Max Miller they're dealing with (see season one's episode, "Nightmare"). What they actually come across seems to be a guy who just asks for things and gets them, including Dean's beloved Impala. Andy Gallagher, the guy in question, simply stops Dean, compliments him on his ride, and asks can he have it. Dean smiles, hands him the keys and gets out, and stands watching as Andy drives away, with a bemused smile on his face.

Meanwhile Sam is following Doctor Jennings, the man in his vision who shot up the gun store. Andy had stopped to talk to him, shook his hand and moved on. Sam worries that if Andy has been affected by his encounter with the demon, and become a killer, or some other sort of psycho, that he, Sam, may also turn out to be just as twisted. He remembers the demon said he had "plans" for Sam and all the other children. It was not then, and is not now, a reassuring thing to hear. Sam follows Dr. Jennings as he approaches the gun store, but legs it in before him and pulls the fire alarm, breaking the spell and putting Jennings at a loss. He then receives another call from Andy and promptly walks out under a bus.

When Sam learns, to his amazement, that Andy has the Impala, he begins to put things together. Andy is able to exert some sort of mind control over people, literally tell them what to do, and they will. Including walking to their deaths under the number 44 to Queens. But when he approaches the guys (who have by now got the Impala back) and asks what they're doing, Dean tells him everything, unable to lie. Sam, however, does not seem to be susceptible to his powers, probably because he too is psychic. He tells Andy that the same thing happened to their mother, and that he has abilities too. However when he asks him why he told the doctor to kill himself Andy looks genuinely puzzled. Just then Sam has another vision, in which he sees a girl immolate herself at a gas station.

As a fire tender rushes past they realise this vision has just come true, and when Dean investigates, while Sam keeps Andy with him, the truth is that the girl did set herself on fire, did get a call on her phone, but Andy did not make the call. Sam has been with him all the time and he never reached for a cell phone, if he even has one. After checking with Ash they find that the woman, Holly Beckett, could very well have been Andy's biological mother, as he is adopted and she gave birth to a baby boy on the very same day he was born. Dr. Jennings was the doctor who oversaw the adoption and not only that, Holly had twins!

As they investigate further, it turns out that his twin is in town, under the name of Weber, working for Tracy, who runs the coffee shop and has something of a thing for Andy, or had. As they race towards the shop, Sam has another vision wherein he sees Tracy, clad in her lingerie, jump off a ravine. They catch up to Weber as he is enticing/ordering Tracy out of her dress, and telling her that when they've finished she's going to jump off the ravine. Sam punches him and sticks a gun in his face, and he and Andy get tape over his mouth, but it seems this twin can control people without words: he manages to get Tracy to hit Sam over the head with a stick and he passes out.

He talks excitedly to his brother, telling him the "man with the yellow eyes" told him he had a twin, and that he had big plans for them both. He admits (as if we didn't already know) that he caused their mother and the doctor to kill themselves, because he is upset the two were split up; how much more of a force they could have been had they been allowed to stay together! But when he tries to get Dean, who is in the forest with a sniper rifle trained on him, to shoot himself, Andy kills him.

As the boys leave they give Andy their number, in case he needs it. Sam worries that at the end of the day, Andy turned out to be a killer, even if he did it to save his girlfriend and them. Dean plays it down, but Sam remembers that when his brother was forced by Andy to tell the truth --- the whole truth -- about themselves, he admitted he worried Sam was right about himself. Back at the Roadhouse, Ellen wants the details of their hunt, stating that they're all in the war together, and with very little in the way of weapons. Sam tells her about what he is, or what he thinks he is, and the demon's comment that he had plans for them. Ellen looks worried.

MUSIC
REO Speedwagon: "Can't fight this feeling"

Soundgarden: "Fell on black days"

Spinal Tap: "Stonehenge"


PCRs
Dean tells Sam "He full-on Obi Wanned me!" Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke's mentor from "Star Wars", as if you didn't know.

Andy later enlarges on this by saying, when he has worked his powers on a security guard, "These aren't the droids you're looking for", causing much hilarity among the trio.

Sam reminds Dean that he had OJ convicted "Before he got out of his white Bronco!" OJ Simpson, duh!

The "WTF??!" moment
No, none really. Again some twists but nothing that really makes you sit up. Meh, maybe when we realise that Andy isn't evil, that he has a twin. Yet even then it's not that sort of moment that makes your jaw drop or anything.

The ARC of the matter
Again we're meeting another "gifted child" that the demon apparently has plans for. This one, however, does not seem to be homicidally bent, though his brother is. The guys worry that in the case of Weber, his house did not burn down, there was no fire, and so the pattern they have been establishing and tracing for the last while may be a red herring. The abilities of the kids certainly seem to be manifesting themselves in different ways: Max Miller could move things by telepathy, Andy can control minds via the power of suggestion, as could his brother, though Weber seemed to be able to do so with just the power of his mind whereas Andy needed to make a verbal command. And Sam can see visions. And possibly has telekinesis. Once, so far.

There's certainly a growing sense of something big dark and evil gathering its forces, marshalling its troops and moving the pieces on a chessboard into position. Could be the demon they're hunting, or it could very well be something much more powerful and dangerous.

BROTHERS
Sam is haunted by his visions, but also by the fear that he is going to turn out to be a killer. He knows he has been chosen by the demon, but does not know why. It's unlikely to be to run messages or help the aged though, and he frets over the power that may lie dormant in him, that he may be unable to control once it's unleashed. Dean has always stood by him, told him he is not evil and could not be made so, but in the harsh light of honesty and truth, when Andy forces Dean to talk openly about who they are and why they are following him, Sam's brother reveals a worry that his sibling may be right: there may be forces at play inside him that he can't control, and he might just turn out to be as bad as, or worse than, the things they hunt.

Although this confession was made under duress, and Dean demands a do-over, in vino veritas as they say, and although there was no alcohol involved, Dean's mind was at the time laid bare and there was no way he could say anything but the pure, unvarnished truth, so Sam knows this is truly how his brother feels, even if he hides it, even if he does not admit it to himself. Deep down, Dean Winchester fears that the brother he hunts with may one day hunt him, or put him in the position of having to hunt his own flesh and blood. There's no way Dean can take it back, though he makes a valiant attempt, and the admission, though forced, must really hurt Sam and make him think that maybe he is not worrying over nothing.

HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!
I'm a frustrated writer, as if you didn't know, and if there's one thing that grinds my gears it's holes in plots. Loose ends that aren't tied up. Situations that come about that could not possibly work out that way. Facts that aren't checked. Okay, that's more than one thing, admittedly, but they all boil down to the same thing: read your proofs! Make sure everything you've written holds up to close examination, because believe me, there are people out there --- and I'm one of them --- who are poring over your work, just waiting for you to slip up so they can say "Gotcha!"

This new section will run in every synopsis of every series I look at, wherever I find plot holes or inconsistencies or just plain lazy writing, and I will be naming and shaming. You don't care about that of course but hey, it keeps me off the streets.

Ordinarily the writing in "Supernatural" is pretty top-drawer, but like any series which uses various writers, they occasionally slip up, and here I feel there are two not quite major, but important plot holes. Both center on Weber.

1. How did he get the cell number of a woman who has not been his mother for over twenty years? He called her on her cellphone to give her the instruction to set herself on fire, but how did he get her number? This is important because, without her suicide the guys would possibly not have put two and two together and even realised that Andy had a twin. If he had gone to the station, passed by her and whispered to her, then okay, I guess. But even at that, how did he know she was there and more to the point, why was she there? Twenty years after she gave both her kids up for adoption she just happens to be at the place where both of them are now living? Come on! It's a bit tenuous, is it not?

2. Why, in the vision Sam saw, though he changed it, was Doctor Jennings to kill the gunshop owner? Weber had nothing against him. Why not just get the doctor to go in, load the gun and kill himself? I know he was evil and probably did it for effect, but still. Also, how did he get Jennings's number? I suppose that could have been on a business card. Again though, a little weak I feel...

Ah! I feel all important and smug now! Nothing like bringing someone's work down to make you feel better about yourself!

2.6 "No exit"

Investigating the disappearance of a girl in Philadelphia, the boys find residue of ectoplasm at her apartment. Back at the Roadhouse earlier, Jo had given them a file she had put together, showing that over the last eighty years the same type of girl --- blonde, young --- has disappeared in that city from the same building, one every ten years. The police see no pattern due to the inordinately long gaps between the disappearances, but Sam and Dean agree with Jo that it looks like something they should check out. They realise that for ectoplasm to form, the spirit has to be very angry indeed, but just as they leave the apartment they run into Jo, who pretends Dean is her boyfriend and they are thinking about renting the place.

Earlier, Jo has had a fight with her mother about her wanting to go off hunting, and is obviously now rebelling. Seems she has somewhat pushed the guys into supporting her investigation. While they're there they detect more ectoplasm and find a clump of blonde hair in a vent. Jo also says she feels like something reached for her. The next morning the news breaks that another girl has gone missing in the building, and when they look into it, the three of them find the usual signs -- cracking plaster, ectoplasm --- but they have no leads. Dean at first thought maybe somebody died violently in the building and was seeking revenge, but there are no records of any sort of violent deaths here over the last eighty-two years.

Then they find that the apartments were built next door to what used to be a prison, and the field which the building now stands on was where criminals used to be hanged. Although there is a long list of the people executed in the prison, one name stands out: H.H. Holmes, America's very first serial killer. It fits: he used to torture and mutilate blonde girls, chloroforming them to knock them out first. Dean mentions he has smelled something in the hallway earlier but couldn't pin it down; now he realises it was chloroform. The problem burning Holmes' bones is that his body is encased in concrete, ostensibly because Holmes did not want anyone messing with his body. However when they realise that Holmes' MO was to trap his victims and keep them alive for as long as he could, they reason that the girl who just went missing, Teresa, could still be here, hidden somewhere within the walls of the building, and so finding her has to be their first priority.

Their search does not yield anything, but Jo, crawling through a duct, goes out of sight of Dean and then he hears her scream. When he breaks through the wall she is gone. She ends up in a disused sewer, where she finds Teresa also imprisoned. The hand of the spirit reaches in and grabs her head, tearing out some of her hair as Dean and Sam try to pinpoint her location with a metal detector. Crawling through the sewer they arrive just in time to save Jo, Dean shooting Holmes' spirit who flies backwards. He's not destroyed though, and Dean figures they have to lay a trap for him, using Jo as bait, as she had originally been trying to do when she came to the apartment. They manage to trap Holmes in a salt circle and taking Teresa with them they exit the sewer.

Aware that the trap is far from permanent, they steal a cement truck and seal up the sewer completely, rather ironically mirroring the current state of Holmes' physical remains. On their return to the Roadhouse Ellen tells Jo that her father was betrayed by John Winchester, that the two had been working on a hunt and John let him die. We don't get any more details but she seems really angry about it, and at seeing the possibility of history repeating itself with her daughter and the two Winchester boys. On finding out what has happened, Jo is shocked, but not as much as Dean and Sam, as they leave, confused as to why their father would leave a fellow hunter to die?

MUSIC
Foreigner: "Cold as ice"

Cheap Trick: "Surrender"


PCRs
Dean quips that there's a case in LA. Young girl, captured by an evil cult. He reveals the name is Katie Holmes. Sam laughs. I'm assuming this is a reference to Holmes marrying Tom Cruise, and his well-known association with Scientology. (Also coincidental that the surname is the same as that of the serial killer they end up hunting. Hmm...)

Dean mentions the Stay Puffed Marshmallow man, while they're looking at ectoplasm. Again, it's an educated guess, but I think they're referencing Ghostbusters here.

The "WTF??!" moment
I would guess it would have to be the revelation that John Winchester was responsible for the death of Jo's father, Ellen's husband, and the tension that suddenly creates within the group.

The ARC of the matter
Though it may not turn out to be arc-worthy, it's nevertheless a shock when we learn that John left his partner to die, if that is indeed what happened, and the dynamic between Jo, Ellen and the boys is now completely changed. Whether this will reflect on further episodes/seasons remains to be seen. Certainly, the fledgling relationship between Jo and Dean is now in serious trouble: in the beginning she was flirting with him, she pretending to be his girlfriend, he playfully smacking her bottom, and as the episode runs on it's clear Dean is very fond of her and terrified when she gets taken. But at the end, any hope of a life together, or even a lust-filled night, seems quashed when Jo learns what his father did.

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As I’ve mentioned in recent Supernatural writeups and occasionally other places too, I’m something of an aspiring/frustrated writer, and one of my bugbears is bad plotting, lazy writing and a lack of attention to detail. Okay, so that’s three things, but they all come under the one heading: laziness. I’ve seen a good few decent movies (and some very bad ones) suffer from often a very simple slipup in the plot, a case of the writer forgetting or omitting to mention something, or assuming something happens when the viewer cannot reasonably be expected to make that assumption. It happens too often and I wonder it isn’t more widely marked; people in general seem to adopt an “Emperor’s new clothes” approach: if nobody else saw that then I’m not pointing it out. I must be wrong if no-one else saw it. I must just not get it. And so on.

In this series I’ll be looking at some serious plot flaws in movies, good and bad, famous and niche, and pointing out where the writing got sloppy and how, if at all --- and in most cases it really did --- it affected the overall enjoyment I took from the picture. Also how it impacted on the main storyline, if it did.

The first one I want to look at is one I would not necessarily consider a good film, but in fairness that could be due to the glaring plot holes I’m about to describe. Without these, perhaps the movie would have come across differently to me. But as far as I’m concerned, screen writers are paid enough to check their work, or have it checked, before it hits the cinema, and anyone who lets incongruities of this magnitude through does not really deserve the title or prestige of being a writer.

Some of these holes in the plot I'm pointing out are small, granted, but some are large enough to take the aircraft in the movie down, were they to appear in its fuselage. And all told, there are not two or three, but twelve separate issues I have with this film. Yeah, twelve plot holes, of varying sizes, but they all contribute to a piece of writing that amazingly Roger Ebert described as "an airtight plot"! I respect the guy, but if he thinks this plot is airtight then I wouldn't want him designing any airlocks for my space station, is all I can say...

Movie title: Flightplan
Year: 2005
Genre: Thriller/Drama
Stars: Jodie Foster
Directed by: Robert Schwentke
Written by: Billy Ray

Basic storyline: A woman (Foster) who is an aircraft designer is returning with the body of her husband who has died overseas. With her is her daughter. During the flight her daughter goes missing and Foster must try to convince everyone on the plane that she is not going mad; her daughter was with her, must still be on the aircraft.

Plot Hole One: While Foster’s character, Kyle Pratt sleeps her daughter, Julia, is apparently taken from her. Now, I admit that many of the passengers are probably also asleep, watching the movie, reading or just looking out the windows but surely someone on board that plane sees a strange man move in and take the little girl? And why does she go with him? She doesn’t know him and has surely been brought up better than to go with a stranger? I guess she could be asleep but it still should look suspicious. More, when she goes missing someone should remember seeing her being abducted.

Plot Hole Two: It becomes clear that the terrorists have manipulated Kyle into being the fall guy, but the plan is a little weak. In order for it to work, first of all they have to ensure Julia is onboard, and how can they make sure that happens? One or both of them could have missed the flight, it could have been cancelled, any number of things. But the coffin is on the plane, with the bomb inside. So if all elements of this plan didn’t come together, what were they going to do?

Plot Hole Three: How is it that of all the passengers on the aircraft not ONE of them can remember seeing a woman CARRYING HER CHILD onto the plane? Nobody saw that. And not only that, it’s not that they don’t remember her: they all assert she was not there. How do they know? How did NOBODY see Julia, not even the mouthy children of one of the couples?

Plot Hole Four: We find out that one of the flight attendants is “in on the conspiracy”, fine. But why does the other one, when she hears that Julia was not on the passenger manifest, say she did not see her either, when she must have seen her? Okay, so the facts may be blinding her but what about the evidence of her own eyes? Kyle and her daughter board first, they are the first passengers on the aircraft, which may have been pre-arranged by the "bad" flight attendant in order that nobody sees them getting on, but surely the other flight attendant would remember more clearly the very first passengers on, especially one carrying her daughter?

Plot Hole Five: Not that big but … why does the arab guy who Kyle accuses remark that he always watches his own children, and doesn’t lose them then blame someone else? Everyone up to now has agreed Julia was not on the plane: why is he saying she was but has now gone missing? And what was all this about Kyle saying she saw him looking int o her daughter's room the previous night? Is that just a red herring? Is she close to losing it? It's never returned to so it's just left as a very sloppy loose end, a vehicle for a rather clumsy post-911 blame-the-arabs-for-everything idea.

Plot Hole Six: When the captain checks with the mortuary in Berlin about Kyle's husband why do they assert that Julia died with her father? The director of the morgue is to be arrested so must be in on the plot, but was all his staff too? And are we to assume that when the details were checked it just happened to be him that answered?

Plot Hole Seven: Again, a small one, but where did Kyle get the key she uses to gain access to the aircraft’s emergency systems in order to create a diversion?

Plot Hole Eight: Assuming that they want her to believe that her daughter died with her husband, why is there no coffin with the child in it? Would she have left her daughter back in Berlin?

Plot Hole Nine: Again, a small one but ... Kyle handcuffs Carson, the Air Marshall who turns out to be the bad guy, so how did the "bad" flight attendant free him from his handcuffs so quickly? She didn’t even look for a key. One second she was approaching, next Carson was free.

Plot Hole Ten: Carson said they needed a credible hijacker who knew the plane. Why? What difference did it make? If she ran raving like a lunatic looking for her child without knowing about the layout of the aircraft, Kyle would still be seen as a madwoman. Why was it important she knew about the layout of the plane? And adding to that, she worked on engines. It's not to be assumed she would therefore know the full layout of the aircraft. These things are often assembled in sections, at different work stations. She might only ever have seen engines, not any other part of the fuselage. To imagine she could find her way around the innards of the jet, just because she worked on and designed the engines, is I think pushing it a bit.

Plot Hole Eleven: The attendant runs from the plane which is surrounded by cops and military, and nobody even challenges her, never mind shoots at her or orders her to show her hands? She just runs off into the night? Yes she is eventually captured, but would YOU just run out with all those guns presumably trained on the aircraft?

Plot Hole Twelve: Similarly, after BLOWING UP THE PLANE Kyle emerges from the smoke --- and remember, she’s the prime suspect --- and is not even challenged? Okay, so she has her daughter in her arms but still.

One of the most cloying and aggravating things about this movie are the voices at the end as Kyle walks away with her daughter. People say “I told you there was a little girl” and “She never gave up.” Yeah, well where were they when she was being accused of being insane, and weren’t these the same people who looked at her as if how dare she disrupt their flight, looking for a fictional daughter? Now suddenly they all believe, which is understandable, but now they all believed in the first place? Oh sure.

One final thing, and it is a small niggle but bugs me nevertheless. The movie is called “Flightplan”. A flightplan is the information an aircraft lodges with the control tower and ATC as to where it’s going and how it’s going to get there. The “flightplan” referred to here seems to be the plan the three people have to get money out of the airline and blame it on Kyle. Not quite the same thing. Annoying, to someone who is an aircraft nut.

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Episode Three

Gail is brought the news about Malcolm’s death which makes him the prime suspect in Hatties’s death, and the family are targeted as people make up their own minds. Steve is pleased to hear that his ex-wife is coming to offer her support to her sister, Hattie’s mother, while Alan goes to face his investigation, and Everett has to change his plans when Linus is sick and wants to stay home. While there, he conducts a search of the house and though he finds the bag Everett had hidden away it is now empty. Or not quite: he finds a card in it, which leads him to, of all things, a new age workshop. Before he goes in he sees the vision of his mother again. He learns that Hattie went there, and that Everett is well known there, and often drove Hattie home.

A TV reconstruction of the crime scene worries Gail, who demands the film crew don’t use footage of her home. Caitlin finds more stones, some in her shoes, some falling, she says, out of the sky. She tells Linus Hattie believed in the spirits of the forest, elementals, and some part of her wonders if her sister isn’t now trying to contact her in some way? She further tells him that the police found Hattie’s bag in her locker, in which was her passport, money and clothes, so it looked as if she was ready to run away. Steve confides to the social worker that his brother may be singled out as Hattie’s abductor; he wants him sectioned but the careworker will not sanction it.

James gets rid of all the evidence of Carroll’s Field and Hattie’s involvement in it, to try to deflect any suspicion that may be growing. That is growing. And it’s more than suspicion. Remember Sandra’s comment last episode? Gail, despite being warned by her son not to say anything to the police, blabs the first chance she gets about all the money her husband has lost on the development. James is furious but can’t show it in front of DS Mills. Outside a pub Fiona takes a picture of Everett with another blonde woman, and is almost seen by him but seems to have got away without being detected. Having failed to secure Seth via sectioning, Steve has him move in with him. He doesn’t exactly make him feel welcome though, and gives him his son’s room, which we see is still decorated as if the boy is coming home. Seth is impressed, and Steve lets slip that he will see his son soon. Seth thought he was in Spain but Steve tells him Angie, his ex-wife, is coming to lend support to the Sutton family, and that he will see his son then.

Seth talks about Hattie. He tells his brother that the girl was a “nice spirit” and the woods “wouldn’t have allowed him” to hurt her. Steve is even less convinced than he was before. Gail goes back into the woods and sees Everett making out with the blonde woman. She now realises that the bird hide is the perfect place to be a peeping tom, and she now knows what her late husband was doing in the woods. Birdwatching. Yeah. Of a sort. When she gets home and talks to James she suddenly remembers that he never brought any of his girlfriends home when he was younger, and a dark and twisted picture begins to emerge of her husband. James tells her that when they were in France Malcolm was picked up for masturbating in a public place. He didn’t tell his mother because, he says, he assumed she knew. She reveals that she was only fourteen when she met her late husband…

Seth leaves Steve’s house and appears to find something that scares him in the woods. Alan returns home, much happier than when he left. He says the girl withdrew the complaint so he’s off the hook. Fiona’s daughter insists she and her mother saw Hattie on the day she disappeared, but Fiona belligerently tells her she is wrong. She says she would have remembered it. The little girl gets upset but Fiona sticks to her guns, as if trying to deny that what her daughter says is the truth. Caitlin lets Linus listen to the last voicemail message her sister ever made, a call she didn’t answer and she now feels a massive sense of guilt, knowing her twin was trying to call her for help but she was too wrapped up in her own world to bother taking the call. An angry mob --- or possibly local troublemakers --- throw fireworks into Gail’s house and paint obscenities outside.

As Caitlin comes out from the bathroom in Linus’s house, Everett mistakes her for Hattie, then mentions something that makes the acronym NDN mean something: Next Door Neighbour. Caitlin shrinks away from Linus. Seth accuses Steve of taking the girl, saying nothing brings a family together like a tragedy, and telling his brother he is so desperate to see his son that he would go to any lengths to make that happen.

QUOTES
Fiona: “Well, Malcolm Spicer’s suicide is as good as a confession, isn’t it?”
Cop: “The DI doesn’t think so. I mean, Carroll’s Field was over a year ago now, and half the town was at those protests.”

Gail: “I drove him to that tree, I tied the knot in the noose. He was more afraid of me than dying alone in the woods. I’m worse than death!”

Steve: “What do you want with your roast?”
Seth:”Nothing: I’m a vegan.”
Steve: “Get you some turf from the garden centre then!”

Linus: “What are you doing out of the woods?”
Seth: “I’ve seen the end of the world.”

Seth: “Bad Seth’s killed Hattie. I’ve seen what he’s done.”

Everett: “Aren’t you lucky to have pick-and-mix next door neighbours?”
Caitlin: “NDN. Next Door Neighbour. It’s you, Linus!”

SUSPECTS
Malcolm

The signs are pointing away from him now. Even though he’s dead, having taken his own life, the mystery continues, and it’s emerging that Malcolm may have liked boys and so would not have taken a girl. This does not keep him from being tried and found guilty by the village, of course, who decide that his suicide is proof positive that it was he who took Hattie. Her father worries that if Malcolm was responsible, how will he now find his daughter with her abductor, perhaps killer, now dead?

Everett

The signs are pointing more towards him. Linus finds out that his father did know Hattie, though he denied it. He used to meet her at an arts class and often drove her home. When he sees Caitlin come out of the bathroom in his house there is a mirror on the wall and in it he sees the blonde twin. Fiona has established his type: young and blonde, and the bag that could have either damned or cleared him is now empty. He makes a cryptic remark to Linus: “You’re hard to kill”, though it may be nothing. But let’s not forget that if Linus is the NDN that was found scrawled in Hattie’s locker, Everett lives next door too…

Seth

Perhaps too easy a target. Seth obviously has some mental problems, and he’s a big man. But he tells Steve that Hattie was a “good spirit”, and he seems to listen to the trees, whom he says would not allow him to hurt her. Of course, as mentioned last episode it was him who found Malcolm, and he seemed to be pleased about it. Maybe though he was just happy that suspicion should have moved from him. The local yobs are still determined to put him in the frame though, even going so far as to try to blackmail his brother to stop them from revealing what they know, which is basically nothing anyway. Still, if the word gets out that there is a “crazy man” living in the village, people may draw their own conclusions…

Steve

On the other side of the coin, Seth accuses Steve of setting the whole thing up, as an excuse to get his ex-wife --- and more importantly, his son --- to come back to the village. This has been remarked upon before, and it certainly doesn’t help to remove Steve from the list of suspects.

Alan

His investigation mysteriously and suddenly dropped, is there anything now to tie the copper to the abduction? That hair in the attic? Was it a bird’s nest? Is he just a red herring? But if so, why is his wife so determined to tell herself that neither she nor her daughter saw Hattie that day?

Linus

With the shock revelation at the end, is Linus back in the frame? He’s certainly her next door neighbour (though that’s no crime) and is interested in Caitlin, but we’ve seen no evidence he had any feelings for her sister. Nevertheless, he must be pushing his way back into the lineup at this point, unlikely though he seems as a suspect.

Small town, small minds
Of course, with Malcolm’s hanging himself he is seen as having confessed to the deed, which is bad news for Gail and James. Their house is attacked, vandalised and they are plagued by nasty phone calls all hours. Gail learns of her husband’s penchant for little boys and is so disgusted that she says if he wasn’t already dead she would kill him. But nobody is interested in her revulsion. With Malcolm dead there are only the living for the vengeful to turn their anger on, and Gail and her son are seen as having known about, perhaps even been complicit in, Malcolm’s crime. Those who went on the search that night will remember his reluctance to join in, and will look on this as further proof of his guilt.

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Coming in 2014!
Before I get to my next entry in this journal, just a quick heads-up on the series intended to be featured here in the coming months. Some may not be for a while but I will do my best to ensure they are all at least started by year's end. These are not in order.









As well as the return of some old favourites. Well, they're old favourites of mine!




Ran out of image space but also expect the return of Futurama, Spooks, The New Statesman and some other new series like 24, which I forgot to mention up top, and The West Wing. 2014 gonna be a busy year for Trollheart! It's all to come!

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Important note: This episode marks the point where the arc really gets going in earnest, and is so important that not only is it the only episode being posted this time out, but by itself it exceeds the MCL, so I've had to split this one single episode up into two posts. Yeah, it's just that important and pivotal!

Because of the arc beginning, from here, to be more pronounced and obvious from this in, I'm going to be using some new logos, which will depict how arc-centric the episode is, or isn't. Basically, if you see this


the episode has some serious arc material in it and really --- if you're following along or watching for the first time --- you can't afford to miss it. This

indicates there is some arc material in the episode but it's not as important or vital to the storyline and finally an episode carrying this image
is pretty standalone and, though few episodes from here on can be skipped, you will probably feel less lost (though not entirely) if you give this one a miss. These "arc headings" can also be viewed in conjunction with my new rating system, which I'll be applying retrospectively, using the images of Starfuries to indicate how good or bad the episode is.



Basically, five 'Furies is an unmissable, brilliant episode while one 'Fury is a real turd in every way. There will be few if any of these (cough) "Infection" (cough)

Season Two: "The coming of Shadows" (Part Five)

2.9 "The coming of Shadows"



The ailing Centauri emperor is making plans to visit Babylon 5, above the objections of his Prime Minister, and the much more vocal protests of G'Kar, who believes the fact that the man directly responsible for the enslavement of his people is allowed onboard to be an abomination. Sheridan, however, thinks it will raise the profile of the station, show the naysayers and doubters back on Earth that something positive is being done with their tax credits, and also reminds G'Kar that this could be his personal opportunity to speak to the emperor and perhaps negotiate on behalf of his people. The Narn ambassador is not listening though, and leaves, muttering dark veiled threats.

Lord Refa of course has no intention of letting such an opportunity go to waste, and has arranged for Londo to give a speech during an audience with the emperor, in which he will outline the decline of the empire, the need for change, and make some predictions about the economy which Refa and his associates will ensure come true. The net effect will be to make Londo look forward-thinking and inspirational, a man wtih his finger on the pulse, and show the emperor to be weak and out of touch. Londo remarks that after he has delivered his speech he will hardly be flavour of the month at court, but Refa, with a chilling smile, reminds him that the emperor's health is “fragile at best”, and that when he dies then Londo will be very much in favour with the new order. Londo is uneasy, but he has agreed to support Refa and cannot back out now.

G'Kar, too, has a plan for the emperor, supported by his government: to assassinate him. A strange man arrives at the station and lurks around, watching Garibaldi. But it's hard to get the drop on Michael and he arrests the guy, worried that he might be a security risk, given their high-profile visitor. The emperor intends to make an important speech and Garibaldi is not about to let anything happen, not on his watch. However what does happen is totally outside his control, as on the way to the podium the emperor collapses, and has to be moved to medlab. He tells Franklin that he has a very important message, something he was going to reveal in his speech, and as he does not trust any Centauri to relay the message properly he asks the doctor to do so.

Refa is already moving, trying to jockey for position as his rivals make their move. He asks Londo to help him make his powerplay, and Mollari calls on Morden, to have his associates take out the Narn listening post in Quadrant 14, on the border of Centauri space. Franklin goes to see G'Kar, delivering the message that he was asked to. The message is: he is sorry. The emperor has offered an apology to the Narn Regime for all the evils perpetrated upon them, all the lands taken, all the blood spilled. He is taking the first step, and G'Kar is stunned. Londo has another dream of his future, in which he sees himself on the throne, sees the huge hand reachng out of the stars prophesied by Elric the Technomage, sees himself grappling to the death with G'Kar, as he has seen this vision of his death many times before.

Tragically, G'Kar meets Londo and has a drink with him just before he hears of the attack on Quadrant 14. It will be the last friendly action between the two, as hours later he will discover that the old war has been reignited. Garibaldi gives in to the demands of his prisoner to speak to him. The man tells him that he has a message for him. When Garibaldi puts the disc on, he hears the voice of Jeffrey Sinclair! His ex-commander tells his old friend that he has learned that there is a “great darkness” coming, as again Elric said. He tells him that the man who bears the message is a Ranger, an elite force under Sinclair's command. He should trust him. He's placing them at Babylon 5's disposal; they are intelligence gatherers, and will keep him updated on the coming storm. When G'Kar learns of the attack he is incandescent with rage, and goes to kill Mollari but is stopped by Sheridan, who reasons with him that he will need their help in the coming days, and G'Kar must choose between personal revenge and the safety of his people.

On Centauri Prime the old Prime Minister is murdered by agents of Refa's, removing the final obstacle to his plans. Garibaldi goes to Sheridan with the information he has, though he has been ordered, or asked, by Sinclair not to reveal its source. Sheridan knows enough about his security chief now to trust him and take him at his word. In his final moments of life the emperor, hearing from Refa of the attack on Quadrant 14 and the reignition of the ancient war, his plans and dreams torn cruelly from him at the last, whispers to Mollari that they are all damned, and takes his last breath. Sheridan tells Mollari that he intends to ensures the safety and proper treatment of the Narns on Quadrant 14 by sending observers to monitor their treatment, a “threat” which has the effect of forcing Londo to allow the civilian Narns to return to their homeworld instead of being made slaves and put into forced labour camps.

As a result of the attack, Narn not surprisingly declares war on Centauri, and the hope for peace the late emperor cherished is destroyed. The old enemies are at each others' throats once again, but this time the Centauri have powerful, shadowy allies. Before departing the station, Refa tells Mollari that all opposition back home has been crushed, and that the emperor's nephew is to ascend the throne; their puppet, leaving Refa and Londo pulling the strings. Things are about to get a lot nastier at court.

QUOTES
Sheridan: “G'Kar, don't do something we'll both regret.”
G'Kar: “It is too late for that, Captain. Too late by far.”

Londo: “This conversation makes you uncomfortable?”
Vir: “Yes. Yes it does.”
Londo: “Then for once we have something in common.”

G'Kar: “It is a strange feeling to know suddenly that all the decisions in your life have brought you to this place. There is no longer doubt or uncertainty. The future consists of only three probabilities: In the moment that I strike, the emperor and I will both die, or he will die and I will spend my life in prison. Or I will fail to kill him. For the first time in my life, the path is clear.”

Londo: “Go and find Mr Morden and bring him here.”
Vir; “Londo, don't do this!”
Londo: “I have no choice!”
Vir: “Yes you do! I know you don't listen to me but just this once I'm asking, don't do this. There's no turning back once you go down that road!”
Londo: “Do I have to go look for him myself?”
Vir: “No. No, I'll go, and I'll bring him back here. And one day, I'm going to remind you of this conversation. Maybe then you'll understand.”

G'Kar: “I was ready! I had prepared myself, I had made my peace with the universe, I had put all my affairs in order! I had the dagger in my hand! And he has the indecency to start dying on his own! Never in my life have I seen a worse case of timing!”

G'Kar: “The emperor! How is the poor fellow! I was so looking forward to opening ... a dialogue!”

G'Kar: “Mollari! I'm going to get you --- a drink!”

Sinclair: “Stay close to the Vorlon, and watch the shadows: they move when you're not looking.”

Centauri Emperor: “How will this end?”
Kosh: “In fire!”

Refa: “What did he (the emperor) say?”
Londo: “He said, 'Continue: take my people back to the stars'”.
Later, Refa asks in private, “What did he really say?”
Londo: “He said, we are all damned.”
Refa: “Well, it's a small price to pay for immortality.”

Sheridan: “I should mention that I've just received permission from my government to send observers to the colony. Their job will be to monitor the treatment of the civilian population.”
Londo: “They are not welcome!”
Sheridan: “Well we're sending them anyway! Unless you'd like to try shooting down an Earthforce transport? Personally, I'd advise against it.”

G'Kar: “For a hundred years the Centauri occupied our world, devastated it. We swore we would never let that happen again. This attack on our largest civilian colony has inflicted terrible damage, loss of life. They have crossed a line we cannot allow them to cross. As a result two hours ago my government officially declared war against the Centauri Republic. Our hope for peace is over. We are now at war. “

IMPORTANT PLOT ARC POINTS
War with the Narn
Arc level: Orange turning to Red later
As the Centauri renew their aggression against their old enemy, this will just be the first step on their path back to power, and soon few races or worlds will be able to stand against them. Backed by Mr Morden and his allies, they will go forth across the galaxy and destroy, attack and conquer, as they did in the old days. However Londo must harbour a sneaking suspicion somewhere that he has been played, that he is following the path Morden has laid down for him, and is being led inexorably into a dark and cold abyss, from which there can be no escape.

The significance of the Centauri's war against the Narn will grow as the season develops, and provide a springboard into some of the biggest developments of the next three seasons. You heard the introduction at the beginning of each episode this season: “the year the Great War came upon us all”? It's about to kick off.

Sinclair
Arc Level: Red
We all thought we'd seen the last of the previous commander of Babylon 5 once season one ended, but it would appear we are wrong. What we seen onscreen is not stock footage, used to allow Michael O'Hare a cameo in the show, as many other series might. No. This is a new role for him, and so the story of his being sent to Minbar is not just a clever plot device to explain his disappearance from the show, but will become an integral part of the next two seasons. We will not see Sinclair again for some time, but when we do, it will be momentous.

Coup d'etat
Arc Level: Orange
With the emperor in failing health, he must know that the trip to Babylon 5 could be the last one he may ever make, and indeed so it turns out. But he is anxious – desperate even --- to deliver his message of apology to the Narn, and so he risks the trip, which costs him his life. Not only that, he does not get the chance to make his speech, though he entrusts it to Franklin. Although the doctor passes it along word for word to G'Kar, and the Narn is for a short moment taken aback and full of hope, when the war is restarted Mollari pretends that the emperor has given it his blessing, when in fact he has told him that his people are now damned for what they have done.

The death of the emperor, and the subsequent removal of the Prime Minister, his loyal and dear friend, clears the way for a new man to ascend the throne, the emperor's nephew, who we will meet soon enough. He is to be little more than a figurehead, however you know what they say about leashing mad dogs? Londo's star is certainly on the rise, but growing too is the darkness inside him, the evil that will eventually claim him, and which Vir has tried, and will continue to try, to warn him against. Refa, based on homeworld, believes he is in charge, but must fear Londo's unknown allies who have so easily brought about the victory that resulted in the success of the coup. Londo had better watch his back...

Rangers
Arc Level: Red
We hear the word mentioned only once, but this elite fighting force will become more and more important as the series progresses, and you can certainly be sure we will hear much more of them, as their presence, and then their reputation, spreads out across the galaxy.

Taking sides
Arc Level: Red
This will become a recurring motif as the war goes on, and drags in other worlds and other races, and others have reason to fear the Centauri and their allies. Initially, Sheridan convinces Earth to at least support if not ally with the Narn – this is not Earth's war, but they can help, just as the US helped long before coming into World War II --- but you would have to wonder what the motivation is behind this, from Earthgov's point of view? Clarke has made it clear he has no time for aliens, but perhaps he also fears the power of the resurgent Centauri Republic, and worries that if left unchecked they could become a threat to Earth. So for now he agrees to go along with the captain's idea of observers, even if only used as a stick to beat Londo with and make him accede to their demands with regards to the Narn civilians, but later he may have second thoughts.

Ascendancy at Court
Arc Level: Red
There’s no doubt that the name of the previously-laughed at and ignored ambassador to Babylon 5 is suddenly being taken seriously again, seriously enough for Refa to have entrusted him with the plans of he and his associates to depose or replace the old emperor, although this may be more along the lines of “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”; Refa knows a little something about the power and influence Mollari wields with allies of which he personally knows nothing, and has seen firsthand what they can do. It would be unwise to go up against such a man, and to make an enemy of him. Had Londo not sided with Refa, you have to wonder if the coup might have gone ahead, given that Mollari and his powerful associates would then perforce be on the other side?

But now, as he makes plans to demonstrate once again his power and the reach of his hand, there can be no doubt that Londo Mollari is becoming an influential, powerful force at court, and people are not only taking notice of him, some even only now realising who he is, that he exists at all, but many may already begin to fear him, to see him as a potential threat, while others will rush to gain his favour and ally themselves to him as if he were the very emperor already. Londo is swept along in this newfound confidence and arrogance, and this will only get worse when he visits the court itself. Perhaps he’s already intending to try the throne out for size? He tells Vir he has no desire to be emperor --- “I prefer to work behind the scenes. The rewards are almost as great, and the risk much reduced.” --- but he has seen in his dreams that, whatever his desire, the Royal Centauri throne is in his future.

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SKETCHES
Londo Mollari
Not surprisingly, this is an almost completely Londo-centric episode, though of course G'Kar features in it too. But even apart from Londo, we learn something more of the Centauri court. We hear that the emperor traditionally keeps four female telepaths with him at all times. These women are linked from birth, and when the emperor leaves the homeworld two stay behind while two accompany him, making this a two-way communication system that is always up to date. We also learn that Centauri women, all bald, are not born that way but shave their heads, while the males seem to wear elaborate wigs, like the gentlemen of the seventeenth and eighteenth century in Britain and Europe.

But most importantly, we see here the deal Londo makes with the devil, the sealing of the pact between he and Morden. Mollari had asked Morden before “What if I need another of these little demonstrations?” and Morden had replied, with that cruel, obsequious smile that is so maddening, “Pick a target.” Here, he decides to exercise that option, and calls Morden in to provide a show of strength and pull off an attack that the Centauri could never have managed on their own without terrible loss of life and ships. He has given his backers a sign, that he is the future and that the old guard are on the way out, many literally. In a society as superstitious and often gullible as the Centauri, this is indeed a sign that there is a new order on the rise.

Londo however does exhibit some doubts about his dealings with Refa, and when he wakes from another troubled dream and realises that the attack has begun, it almost looks as if he wishes he could stop it, turn back time, undo this madness. But of course he can't, and he is committed to the path he has chosen. He knows he has betrayed the wishes of the late emperor, and agrees he is probably indeed damned, along with the rest of his people, but it is too late to turn back now. He must feel like crawling away when an upbeat, joyous G'Kar buys him a drink and tells him there may after all be hope for their two peoples, knowing what is happening as they share a seat at the bar, but by the time the colony has been destroyed and his people have moved in he is arrogant and overbearing, the representative of a conquering people lording it over their victims. And yet, he seems troubled, almost as if he is being forced to play a part he does not wish to.

He has had the dream he often has, but in addition to the throne scenes he now sees the vision Elric spoke of, a great hand reaching out of the stars. Whether or not he hears the billions calling out his name in hatred and agony --- “My followers?” “Your victims.” --- is unclear, but it surely upsets him. Events are moving too fast for him now and there is no time to catch his breath and think of what he has done, which is probably just as well as it might very well drive him mad.

It's clear too that the easy, almost friendly relationship that existed between Londo and the rest of the station command staff, especially Sheridan, is at an end. He is an aggressor, an ambassador of a regime that has killed and destroyed and invaded without provocation, and is without question now seen as the bad guy. There will be few if any who will have sympathy with him, fewer who will spend time with him as they once did, and many who will now begin to look upon him as an object of fear. The little comical man has become a dark threat, just as a certain ex-Corporal in the German Army did in the 1930s.

ONE GOOD CENTAURI
As will be his role throughout the whole of Londo’s association, both with Refa and with Morden, Vir will try to sway Mollari from the twisted path he is embarking upon, with varying degrees of success. When Londo announces his intention to use Morden to help “make a show” for Refa, Vir begs him not to do it, but Londo will not listen. Vir warns him “There’s no coming back once you go down that road!” But Londo is thinking only of his rise to power, and how people will have to take him seriously again. Vir does what he can, in his own small way, to distance himself from his employer’s plans and objectives. Here, when Refa has finished his drink he casually hands the goblet to Vir, who pointedly refuses to take it, staring daggers at the noble. It’s a very, very small victory, but Vir will take any he can.

Sadly, the path Londo is on will drag Vir along with him, and he will be pulled into some very unsavoury actions. One thing you can certainly always say about Vir though: no matter how bad the going gets, no matter the crazy, ill-informed or even, later, evil choices Londo makes, he will never desert his friend, and he will never give up trying to save a soul that has been long promised to the dark side, for a whole lot more than thirty pieces of silver.

ABSENT FRIENDS
No, not a one. For the first time in a long time, all the ambassadors are there, even Kosh! I don’t see Lennier or Na’Toth, although the latter is mentioned in what is meant to be G’Kar’s final testament before he goes to kill the emperor, but even Sinclair gets a look in. A full cast, indeed.

IMPORTANT NOTE:
As if I needed to point it out, this is a serious arc episode. Things come to a head as the two enemies who have been sniping at each other since season one, scoring points off one another and making threats, all of which seemed at the time pretty empty, come together as the situation reaches boiling point and the war between the Narns and the Centauri begins again, more or less where it left off, though with an unfair advantage on the part of the latter, both in the element of surprise and due to thier new allies. Londo moves further into the darkness and the galaxy holds its breath, aware that when the Centauri have conquered --- as they surely must --- the Narns, there is nothing to stop them moving on, expanding their ailing empire and “reclaiming” territory no doubt said to be theirs from centuries ago. In short, when the Centauri go to war they do not just stop with the one enemy, and a resurgent empire needs to enlarge its borders. Who will stand against them?

The reappearance of Sinclair, though brief, is interesting and he introduces us to a new word: Rangers. The Centauri emperor is dead, and Refa and his colleagues, backed by Mollari and therefore Morden, aim to change the way Centauri politics, foreign policy and defence is conducted. In the middle of all this stands Babylon 5, suddenly the potential clearing house for weapons, troops, information: both ambassadors have access to the place, and who is to say they won’t use that privilege to their and their world’s advantage? Babylon 5 has just become a much more dangerous place to be, and will act as a pivotal focus not just for this war, but for the one to come.

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As explained when I began running the series, “House of cards” is a trilogy, based on three separate but linked books, and following the career of Francis Urquhart from lowly Chief Whip of the Conservative Party to the giddy heights of Prime Minister. Each part is titled differently. This is then essentially part two, and follows Urquhart in his role as PM. What follows over the next four episodes shows that when it comes to maintaining his hold on power, Urquhart will not even let the man sitting on the Royal Throne of England stand in his way!

CAST

Francis Urquhart, played by Sir Ian Richardson: The machiavellan politician is the centrepiece and focus of the three books, so of course he is back to scheme his schemes, sacrificing people left and right like pawns on a chessboard. The one thing Urquhart wants above everything is power, and he will do anything, including murder to get it. He will not stop at taking on the King of England, if the man threatens his position.

His Majesty The King, played by Michael Kitchen: Newly crowned as the figurehead leader of state, the King is a man of principles and ethics, who believes that the poor should be taken care of. There should in fact be no poor: he wants an undivided England. He is at heart a dreamer, though he does retain the loyalty of the people, and his plans to help the disenfranchised and dismantle the different levels of society, to do away with the haves and have-nots, puts him on a direct collision course with the ultimate capitalist, who serves at his pleasure in Downing Street.

Sarah Harding, played by Kitty Aldridge: A pollster who becomes Urquhart’s personal advisor and later mistress. She essentially becomes Mattie Storin Mark II.

Elizabeth Urquhart, played by Diane Fletcher: Francis’s scheming wife is back to stand by his side, help him cover up the evil deeds he perpetrates, and reap the rewards of those deeds.

Tim Stamper, played by Colin Jeavons: Although Urquhart’s attack dog played a relatively insignificant role in “House of cards”, his influence grows here as he begins to try to rise through the ranks and is thwarted by his mentor. Remember: attack dogs can attack their owner if provoked!

Chloe Carmichael, played by Rowena King: to some extent the Penny of “House of cards”, Chloe is the king’s assistant publicist, a black woman who uses her position at the palace to push her left-wing minority agenda whenever she can. She has fierce admiration for the king, and detests Urquhart as an example of everything she stands against.

David Mycoft, played by Nicholas Farrell: Private secretary to the king, he is a latent homosexual whose marriage is breaking up as the series begins, and whose personal life is about to take over from his professional one, putting him in an impossible position.

Commander Corder, played by Nick Brimble: If Stamper is Urquhart’s attack dog, Corder is the mad pitbull. He is the finger on the trigger, the knock at the door, the deliverer of brown envelopes that destroy careers. His are the hands that cleanse, his the nod that removes the PM’s enemies at his behest. He is fanatically loyal to Urquhart, cold and methodical, perhaps quietly psychotic as we shall see later and not at all afraid of doing Urquhart's bidding, nor in the least reluctant to carry out his orders, no matter what they might be. In the Middle Ages, he would have been called The King's Hand. And that hand is very bloody.

Episode One

We see the smarmy, self-satisfied face of Urquhart as he speeds along in a limo. He turns to the camera (to us) and remarks “Remember that frightfully nice man who spoke of the classless society? He had to go of course. Everything changes.” This indicates that Urquhart is talking about something that has already happened, and we are about to be taken back in time to witness the events. Indeed, the new king has just been crowned, and Uruqhart, as Prime Minister, is there (as are we now) to witness the coronation. He does not seem taken with him. One imagines a similar reaction to that he had when Henry Collingridge was elected into the office he now holds himself. But Urquhart’s dreams are constantly haunted by the terrible thing he did at the end of “House of cards”, and he sees Mattie’s body falling away from him, over the edge of the rooftop garden and down to smash onto a parked van, as she screams “Daddddyyyyyyy!” It seems he will never be free of the ghost of Mattie. He goes to see the king, summoned there, and meets Chloe Carmichael, the king’s assistant press secretary, and David Mycroft, her boss. He seems a little contemptuous of both, asking Carmichael through his traditional fixed smile that never reaches his calculating eyes, “And just what is your job description?” He seems annoyed that the previous assistant to the monarch, one Sir Edgar, is “taking early retirement”, surely palace code for being let go as the new king brings in his own people?

The king talks of the poor in society, the homeless and the disadvantaged, and how he can help them. Urquhart plays the problem down, saying he too is worried that people are homeless --- though he pointedly adds “however few” --- but that there is really nothing that can be done about it, and he counsels --- warns, really --- the king against “throwing borrowed money at the problem.” Of course, Urquhart couldn’t care less about the poor, the homeless or the unemployed. Like our friend Alan B’Stard, to him these people are a lower form of life, good for one thing only: votes. And not even that any more, as somehow (though it's not explained how --- lack of interest perhaps --- very few of the "underclasses" are said to be even registered to vote. So they're absolutely no use to Urquhart, and if they're no use to him then they can all go to hell. Naturally, he does not voice this position to the monarch.

The king tells Urquhart that the government office buildings to be erected in a prime London real estate area should instead be used for a community centre, something which does not sit well with the PM, though he dare not shoot down the idea outright.Once he gets back to Number Ten though he makes sure that all his cronies are briefed on what to say to the Secretary of State for the Environment when he comes in with his plan, all full of what he is going to do for the inner city, and the whole idea is carefully but firmly shut down, put to one side and Dick Caule, the SoS, can surely feel a hot breath on his neck. Should he turn around he would doubtless see Urquhart bearing down on him, fangs bared! He’s quickly told to accept an alternative position --- “So much better than a straight sacking!” --- and Urquhart and his new Chief Whip, Stamper, celebrate that the contractor they were getting kickbacks from will be able to go ahead with his development as planned.

The king, Urquhart knows all too well, will not be happy that his idea will be blocked now --- with the Secretary of State sacked Caule can not protest, and as it was his baby nobody else will; Francis will obviously appoint someone he can trust to the post now: one of the boys, a sound man who will do what he’s told --- and Urquhart thinks it might be prudent to “take out an insurance policy” against the ruler of the country, asks Stamper to look into it. Meanwhile he interviews, at Elizabeth’s urging, a young opinion pollster called Sarah Harding, whom his wife believes may be the “distraction” her husband craves. He is getting bored, jaded, set in his ways: he needs a new challenge, and Sarah may be the one to provide it. The fact that she’s pretty and sexy certainly helps, but as ever it’s the mind Francis craves, and eventually, the soul.

Given the option, Sarah admits she can’t resist the offer and accepts. Her husband is less than happy, though she has made it clear she is not interested in a sexual relationship with her new employer.

Stamper visits Princess Charlotte, introducing her to Sir Bruce Bullerby, editor of the Clarion newspaper, who she seems to dislike intensely. The Chief Whip has a proposition for her though: he knows she was paid off after her divorce so that certain embarrassing details would not come out and implicate the Royal Family in a scandal. She is hurting from the treatment she received, and no doubt misses the finer things in life, so the chance to get back at the family of her ex-husband speaks to her, especially when she can make so much money at it. But there is a problem: she was warned by the Palace not to blab or something nasty would happen to her. Stamper tells her Bullerby will pay her for her story --- “for history” --- but not publish it till after her death. She will get the best of both worlds: when she passes on her story can be told and until then she can live in the luxury to which she has become accustomed, and which at present evades her.

There is of course a catch: Bullerby wants to “become her friend” … in every way. The princess is repulsed by the idea --- she hates and loathes the fat balding man --- but there is the money, calling, already in Stamper’s briefcase just waiting to be handed over. She agrees, and Urquhart now has his insurance policy, a weapon to use, should it be needed, against the king. Speaking of the king --- literally --- he tells the PM that he intends to make a speech in ten days time to the charitable commission which will outline his desire to help the poor, close up the divisions in the country and place more emphasis on helping people. Urquhart, needless to say, is unimpressed.

Chloe convinces the king to keep his speech as it is, although he has at last acquiesced to Urquhart’s request for a copy, while David Mycroft reveals to His Majesty that his own marriage is over and goes out, gets attacked and finds his way into a private gentleman’s club, where he gets picked up. He realises for the first time in years that he has been fooling himself into thinking he is straight, and throws himself into an affair with his new friend. Urquhart summons Sarah to his townhouse, where he asks her for her opinion of the speech the king intends to give. She is as deprecating of it as is the Prime Minister, and performs what he gleefully calls a “surgical emasculation” on the speech, taking all of value, ie everything important, everything the king wanted to say, out of it and leaving a bland, pointless missive.The king is of course furious, and determines to read the speech as he had written it. Chloe tells him he should also make public the fact that the government tried to censor it.

It’s Urquhart’s turn to be furious, as the papers get hold of the fact that he tried to rewrite the king’s speech and he demands His Majesty instigate an investigation into how the leak happened at the Palace.

QUOTES
Urquhart: “A new king! A new age of hope and peace and spiritual growth. Etcetera.”

Elizabeth: “Everything you have done in the past was for your country’s good. Everything.”

Urquhart: “I must confess, I do feel a residual frisson. A king is a king after all, and the sherry is usually excellent. I do hope there won’t be any changes there. One hears these rumours about … camomile tea!”

His Majesty: “Well now, you’ve had a lot more practice at this sort of thing than I.”
Urquhart: “Perhaps Sir, but I’m sure you have had the benefit of your mother’s exceptional experience and her valuable counsel. As have I myself.”
His Majesty: “Yes. She said you listened very courteously and deferentially, and then went away and did exactly as you pleased! Is that how it was?”
Urquhart: “Oh that’s very good, Sir. Her Majesty always did enjoy a little joke at my expense. She understood the constraints that bind us very well: we can none of us do exactly as we please. And that’s probably a good thing.”
(This is an interesting first warning shot from Urquhart. He is advising the new king that he had better not have any funny ideas, now that he is in power, about actually doing anything. In Urquhart’s view, a king, or queen, is nothing more or less than a figurehead, someone to bow to and smile at and say “Yes Sir” or “Yes Ma’am”. But the business of running the country had best be left to him and his cabinet. He of course smiles when he says this, but his eyes are as ever hard as diamond and his smile the sort of thing you might expect to see if a cobra could smile.)

His Majesty: “You’re a clever man, Mr. Urquhart.”
Urquhart: “You’re too kind Sir. I’d rather be remembered as a wise man than a clever one, though I think sound man is the highest praise I can expect.”
His Majesty: “I’d like to be remembered as a good man.”
(Here we have the fundamental difference between the two men. Urquhart would rather be a “sound man”: one who gets the job done, no matter what. One who can be relied on. One who will let nothing stand in the way of achieving his goal. Honed in his years as Chief Whip, when he had to “put a bit of stick about”, keep the troops in line, and became both respected and feared, and carried through to the highest office in the land, where if anyone says anything bad about him it’s certainly not to his face. The King, on the other hand, is an idealist, and believes that with great power comes great responsibility. He is distressed at the plight of the poor and believes that it is his job to try to help them.

The thing he does not understand, fails to grasp utterly, is that he is a constitutional monarch; his power comes from Parliament and he can really do little or nothing without their agreement and approval. He is not a feudal lord: his word is not law. Well, not if it does not tie in with what the Prime Minister thinks is “best for the nation”. This idealogical chasm will grow as the two most powerful men in the land face off against one another, leaving room for only one victor.)

Urquhart: “Did you write in the "Observer" that Francis Urquhart is like a shark: he has to keep moving forward to stay alive?”
Sarah: “Not a very flattering simile, I’m sorry.”
Urquhart: “Well, better a shark than a sheep, I suppose.”

Sarah: “I’m interested in looking at power close up. I want to see how it works.”
Urquhart:”You know how it works, Sarah. It corrupts. And absolute power corrupts absolutely.”
Sarah: “There’s no such thing as absolute power.”
Urquhart: “If you work for me, you will give me your absolute allegiance.”
(Another interesting point here. Urquhart is playing with Sarah, letting her know that he is inherently evil, that should she make a compact with him she is getting into bed (literally, after a while) with the devil himself. He offers her the contract, but she must sign it of her own free will. The Devil never forces or coerces anyone to make that pact: they must do so willingly and with the full knowledge (so far as they are aware) of what they are getting into.)

His Majesty: “I want to talk about the wastage of human resources as well as natural resources, about the divisions in our country --- north and south, rich and poor, hope and despair --- and what we can do about it. Well, you know what I’m talking about: you must be as desperately concerned about it as I am!” (Yeah…)

Urquhart: “All I’m saying Sir is that in a constitutional monarchy the sovereign cannot be seen to be opposing his own government.”
(And there lies the rub. This is exactly what is happening. When Urquhart hears the king’s speech (hah!) is already written he asks --- demands really --- that his people be allowed to “go over it”, which the king knows means the big red pen of censorship. He refuses, and the Prime Minister knows that he is about to have a battle on his hands, one which he may not find that easy to win. After all, nobody has taken on the ruler of Britain since Oliver Cromwell, and we know how that turned out!. Interestingly, tellingly in fact, this is the first time when in His Majesty’s presence that we see the smile slip from Urquhart’s face. The mask slides and for a brief moment the cold dead eyes of an indomitable will to survive stare out, like the last look an assassin gives his target before pulling the trigger.)

Urquhart (to camera): “Strong words. But I’m afraid we can’t allow it. If he thinks that being king gives him the right to say what he likes then he is a bloody fool!”

Urquhart: “He has to learn. People wouldn’t take kindly to a man with three Bentleys lecturing them on equality!”

Urquhart: “Your Majesty, as a private man you are free to entertain any beliefs you like, but as the monarch you have no beliefs, or shall we say, no personal political convictions. Not in public.”

Elizabeth: “Oh dear. he was difficult, was he?”
Urquhart: “He was yes. I think we have a new leader of the opposition.”
Elizabeth: “Break him, Francis. Bring him down.”
Urquhart: “I’ll bring the lot of them down if I have to.”
(This short speech tells us so much about Francis Urquhart, as if we didn’t already know. He is talking about what could be seen in some quarters or from some viewpoints as treason: going up against his king, forcing him to abdicate, pushing him out of power. He would be happy to bring down the entire monarchy as long as he retains his vicelike grip on power. He’ll tell us it’s for the good of the country, but by now we know better. Sometimes, the interests of the nation coincide with those of Urquhart. When they do, that’s fine. When they don’t, it will always be the Prime Minister’s concerns that win out. FU helps nobody but himself.)

Power behind the throne
Perhaps to be taken literally this time around, as Urquhart takes on the very king himself. But it is as ever Elizabeth who keeps him on his mental toes. In “House of cards” itself it was she who convinced her husband to run for the position of leader of the party, when he had entertained no such notions himself. It was she who assisted in the “removal” of Roger O’Neill, and now here again she is ready to stand behind Francis and support him no matter what.

She starts by acquiring for him “Mattie Storin Version 2.0” in the pollster Sarah Harding. She sees in her a brilliant mind --- and a fabulous body! --- that will surely intrigue Urquhart and help him to face the trials coming. When Francis complains about the king being awkward, she encourages him to destroy the man: “Break him, Francis!” she smiles. “Bring him down.” And she knows, and we know, that he can and will.

The Royal “We”
Urquhart is again at it: “We can’t allow that to happen” he tells us. Again, whether he is talking at this point about the party as a whole, the government or all interested parties, or taking us into his confidence and making us part of his conspiracy (after all, we know about what happened on the rooftop garden, don’t we? And we haven’t gone blabbing to the papers) is at this point unclear, yet it seems certain that Urquhart sees the world in black and white, as a clear case of “us” and “them”. And “them” don't stand a chance against him!

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018