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He's so good on BBT.
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And I guess you just used one of the same pics and the entry started out similar. Sounds lazy to me TBH. |
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Edit: Also, you're wrong. I never even referred to the Ferengi (except in the entry on "Encounter at Farpoint") apart from the one about their planet, and I certainly did not use that pic before. Please show me where I did, or withdraw your scurrilous accusation. |
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Title: Where silence has lease Series: TNG Season: Two Writer(s): Jack B. Sowards Main character(s): Picard Plot: An alien entity decides to test the limits of human endurance and study death. That's it. One of the most depressing and pointless episodes of any Star Trek series since “A private little war”, this sees the Enterprise encounter an alien who seems all-powerful, trapping the ship in a black void (much like the viewer!) and then picking off the crew in different ways to enable it to study death. The fact that Picard takes till almost the end of the episode to decide to initiate the self-destruct sequence is odd, and the ending is totally unfulfilling. After being the one to blink in their game of poker, the alien lets them go and soon afterwards appears on Picard's viewscreen. Does he rail at it for the senseless loss of life? Does he threaten it, warn of repercussions? Does he hell. He engages it in a philosophical discussion about how alike their races are, and it fucks off. Like th writer should have done. Awful. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating5.png Title: The Q and the Grey Series: VOY Season: Three Writer(s): Kenneth Biller, Sean Piller Main character(s): Janeway, Q Plot: There is civil war in the Q Continuum and Q wants Janeway to be the mother of the child who will save it. Or something. Honestly! Just an lazy excuse to bring in Q again for a few laughs, put everyone in American Civil War uniform to satisfy some fetish of the writers and trot out the old “baby who will save the world” prophecy. Q is hardly even funny in it, far too serious and that's one of its major failings (apart from its having been written of course): when Q succeeds best it's as a clown, a foil for Picard and a sort of comic to Riker's straight man. This is why he never worked in DS9, and was only in it once or twice, and why all the good episodes with him (True Q, Deja Q, Qpid etc) all have him as something of a buffoon, with a sense of good old knee-smacking adventure and swashbuckling. This is too serious, and also unbelievable: why would a race who are practically gods go to war? And how? It's rare to have a bad episode with Q in it, but this is one such. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating3.png Title: Playing God Series: DS9 Season: Two Writer(s): Jim Trobetta, Michael Piller Main character(s): Dax, O'Brien Plot: The station is threatened by a micro-universe. Yeah. Oh, and Dax trains up a trill. Yawn. There are two plots here and one is boring as hell and the other totally ludicrous. Dax is training up a trill and is unsure if he is ready for the joining yadda yadda yadda nobody gives a single fuck. As for the other part, the A-plot? Well, on a trip through the wormhole the two trills bring back a proto-universe with them. Of course they do. And you know proto-universes! They just love to expand and wipe out all life in a few parsecs' range! God give me patience! Just lucky the series picked up soon after this; this could have turned me off it altogether. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating5.png Title: Heart of stone Series: DS9 Season: Three Writer(s): Ira Steven Behr, Robert Hewitt Wolfe Main character(s): Odo, Kira Plot: Kira is trapped in some sort of alien formation that is slowly crystallising over her and reveals her feelings for Odo, but there is a twist (oh joy!). Nog applies to join Starfleet. The whole idea of this episode is so stupid as to defy explanation. In a cave where there are seismic shifts Kira suddenly becomes trapped and finds she is turning to rock as some mad crystalline creature is taking her over. After failing to free her, Odo reveals he loves her and she responds in kind, but it turns out that “Kira” is that crafty old female changeling, and she has been trying to convince Odo to return to the Dominion. Well, lucky break for old Odo then: Kira doesn't get to hear about his darkest desires for her. Well, not yet. Lord. The only decent thing about this episode is the strand of the plot that features Nog, which is the beginning of a serious change in the young Ferengi and will lead him down paths he could never have guessed he would walk prior to this. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating5.png Title: Rascals Series: TNG Season: Six Writer(s): Alison Hock, Ward Botsford, Diana Dru Botsford, Michael Piller Main character(s): Picard (sorta), Riker Plot: Picard, Ensign Ro, Guinan (?) and Keiko are all reduced in age to children. Oh joy! Seriously: it took four people to write this trash? How many other shows/films have centred around the idea of characters being regressed to their younger selves? Big, anyone? Jesus! And we also get to see the only person who could be more poe-faced and stuck-up than Picard: young Picard! Add in my least favourite people --- Ro, Guinan, Keiko --- and you have a real struggle to get through this piece of crap. Even the arrival of the Ferengi, usually a signal for comic relief, doesn't work. And we even have to suffer Alexander in the episode! GAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating5.png |
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http://scicurious.scientopia.org/wp-...en_of_nine.jpg Seven of Nine, played by Jeri Ryan As ratings began to slump in the third season of Voyager, writers decided to bring in some eyecandy, and so hope to spice up the mostly boring storylines being trotted out at the time. Enter super-sexy Jeri Ryan in a circulation-cutting-off-tight catsuit as Seven of Nine (full name Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjuct of Unimatrix Zero) as a Borg drone cut off from the hive mind and marooned on Voyager. After some initial resistance her human persona begins to resurface as she starts to remember her former life, and soon she is almost the perfect fusion of Borg and human. Taken under the wing of The Doctor, she learns (or re-learns) about human interaction, emotion, weaknesses and strengths, and the two become good friends. As far as Janeway was concerned though, conflict erupted between the two as the captain continued to treat Seven like an unruly teenage daughter, and we all know how that goes. Seven would frequently challenge or even disobey Janeway’s orders --- sometimes she would be right in doing so --- and the captain would react to this flouting of her authority in the way she always did, that she was right and everyone else was wrong. Seven’s addition to the crew bolstered the show’s failing ratings and injected new life into a series that was just really limping along at that point, without many strong characters to drive it, unlike the three previous incarnations. However because of this she did become a focus of many of the storylines, tending to sideline the other actors, which did not obviously go down well with them. Her appearance also signalled a much more active role for the Borg in the series, and they appear in Voyager more than in any other of the franchise’s series. Seven’s struggles to reclaim and understand her submerged humanity, and her attempts to decipher and comprehend human behaviour mirror both those of Data in TNG and, to an extent, Spock in the original series. There are parallels too, with Odo in Deep Space 9, as an outsider looks in and tries to figure out what the hell is going on? As Lister remarked caustically in “Red Dwarf” once: “There are no sexy aliens with beehive hairdos who say Show me more of this Earth thing called kissing!” But Seven’s stories did at least inject some needed drama and conflict into a show that had been just marking time for about two, maybe three seasons at this point, with no real direction and certainly nothing resembling a story arc. She is also instrumental in getting the Voyager crew home, when she discovers an alien communications array and they manage to get a message back to Federation space, however this also triggers their pursuit, capture and extended torture by the Hirogen. |
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I have of course made no secret of my dislike for the fourth series in the franchise, but I will admit it has some half-decent music. In many ways, it's quite similar to the theme for DS9, but there are differences, which I will go into in a little more detail when that theme comes up in the countdown, which won't be for a bit yet. Voyager's theme though I find a little too pastoral, a little too reminiscent of just coasting along (which is ironic really, when you consider how the series went); there's no real power, no punch in it. Other than the drumbeat at the start, which quickly fades into the horns section, there's no excitement or sense of adventure about it. Compare it to TNG: that bounces along with an upbeat, fast, almost militaristic rhythm: you feel something is going to happen there! But with Voyager it's almost like it could be the theme to some romance or maybe a gardening programme! I'm actually surprised it made it all the way to number http://www.olneymiddle.milton-keynes...-6-md-Copy.png http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...9d/VOYlogo.png It just doesn't grip me. From the first time I heard it I was underwhelmed, and kept waiting for it to strike up, inject some fire into the theme. It didn't. So if you had not seen the show before you might not know it was a science-fiction one at all, apart from the titles themselves of course. But if you heard it, I mean, you would not immediately associate it with Star Trek. Oddly enough, the music was composed by Jerry Goldsmith, whose score for TMP was eventually used in TNG. Go figure, huh? |
And as fate would have it....
http://tomdurham.com/wp-content/uplo...oyagerShip.jpg 1.1 "Caretaker" Like most Star Trek series, this begins with a two-part episode. After the Federation strike a treaty with the Cardassian Empire, certain territories settled by Federation citizens are ceded to the Cardassians. All Federaton colonists are told to leave, as they are now in breach of the new treaty. Many do leave, but unwilling to be uprooted from their homes, many band together and refuse to leave, defying the orders of both governments, and so becoming outlaws, wanted on both sides. They are the Maquis. One of their ships has on board a spy, a Vulcan called Tuvok who is working for Starfleet, and when the ship he is on disappears into the plasma fields of the area known as the Badlands, Starfleet's newest ship, the USS Voyager, is tasked with locating it. However, they get caught by some sort of tetrion warp wave or something and are hurled 70,000 light years from their destination. They see a huge array, apparently firing some sort of blast into space at regular intervals. Shortly afterwards, all the crew are transported off the ship and find themselves in some sort of rural setting, though Captain Janeway confirms they are in fact inside the array. Lots of people greet them. Hillbilly Hell indeed. Things of course are not what they seem though --- are they ever, in any Star Trek? --- and the yokels soon turn nasty when Paris and Kim find evidence of the missing Maquis in a barn that seems to have a holographic projector. What? You don't have a holographic projector in your barn? What century you livin' in boy? The twenty-first? Ah well that there explains it, don't it? ;) Of course, it then turns out that they're not on some rustic farm, but in some sort of laboratory. Sent back to the ship, they find they have a common goal with the Maquis, who have lost one of their crew, as has Voyager. A truce is arranged as they begin to search for their missing crewmen. Turns out there's only one entity on the array, and he is searching for something, anxious to “honour a debt that can never be repaid”. He sends the crew back to their ship, and as Janeway tries to figure out what the entity is looking for, Harry Kim and B'Elanna Torres, the missing crewmembers, seem to be undergoing some sort of medical procedure. Voyager locates a ship in the debris field, which (rather sadly for them, and us) introduces them to Neelix, a Tellaxian who tells them that he knows of other people who have been pulled here against their will. He tells them the Ocampa, who live on the fifth planet, at which the pulses from the array are being directed, believe they are being watched over by a being called the Caretaker. As he knows the area well, they enlist Neelix's help to try to solve the mystery and retrieve their crewmembers. Meanwhile we learn that the very Ocampa of whom Neelix speaks are in fact looking after Kim and Torres, telling them that they have been asked to do so by the Caretaker. They are also not the first ones he has asked this favour for. Kim and Torres are told they are suffering from some disease, which may not be treatable. Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Paris and Neelix beam down to the Ocampa's planet, in search of their missing crew, and run afoul of the Kazon, who will become one of Voyager's enemies in the first season. Basically, dumbed-down Klingons. Turns out ol' Neelix has not been quite truthful with the captain! The Ocampa live underground, and all he really wants to do is rescue his lover Kes, an Ocampa who has been taken prisoner by the Kazon. Janeway is not happy! Down below the planet, a sympathetic Ocampa helps Kim and Torres escape to the surface, while Janeway and co., with the help of Kes, beam down below the surface. Tuvok forms a hypothesis that the Caretaker is dying, and that the debt he owes is to the Ocampa. Janeway worries what will happen to her crew if the only entitly capable of sending them back kicks the bucket? With everyone back together and on Voyager, they encounter two Kazon ships which attack the array, fearful that Janeway will gain access to the technology within. Janeway is therefore placed in the position of taking them on, as she and Tuvok beam over to the structure. There they again meet the Caretaker, who explains that he is responsible for the surface of the Ocampa's world being the desert it is. He is now trying to father a successor, who will carry on the work of caring for them when he is gone. Suddenly, one of the Kazon ships collides with the array, killing the Caretaker, who, before he dies, begs Janeway to destroy the array, lest it fall into the hands of the Kazon, who would use its power to destroy the Ocampa. Janeway is now faced with a terrible decision. She can use the array to send them back, or destroy it and accept being stranded here, 70,000 light years from home. She decides to destroy it, making a permanent enemy of the Kazon, and enemies onboard her own ship, as she has taken away the only chance everyone had of getting home. Now they will have to find “another way”, as she says. Houston, we have a problem! Many, and large ones, as I will go into in minute and excruciating detail as I go through this series. But the first, and most pressing of these is the ease with which the Maquis and the Federation crews bond. Apologies if you're one of the ones who happens to have read this in the Voyager journal Batty and I started, but it's the same complaint: how can two opposing forces, trapped toegther by circumstance, suddenly become friends? A few days ago the Maquis were being hunted by Voyager, one of its crew was spying on them and now, through the interference of Captain Janeway they are all trapped seventy thousand light-years from their homes. How is there no resentment? How is there no fucking rebellion? How can it be that, on Chakotay's edict, they all decide to “be a Federation crew”, and having done that, they all stayed in line? Nobody objected to the Federation taking over and nobody rebelled or even pulled a sulky face? As I said before, this should have been a gilt-edged opportunity for ready-made conflict between the ex-Maquis and the Starfleet officers, with Janeway having to maintain some sort of order among the fighting factions, perhaps even putting down attempts at mutiny or sabotage. After all, she and her crew wanted to get home, but all that awaited the Maquis was a prison stockade, so maybe they preferred to take their chances, make a new life out here in the Delta Quadrant, where nobody had even heard of their so-called crimes and they could begin anew. Notions like that could have led to attempts to slow the progress home, alliances could have been made and broken, perhaps even those who had “gone over to the Starfleet side” might have been looked on as traitors... the possibilites were limitless, and would have provided for some edge-of-the-seat drama. But no. The writers decided that everyone would be one big happy family and from episode two onwards, with a very odd bump along the road, there was no internal conflict. I mean, come on: surely a fiery half-Klingon like Torres should have been torn between her love for Chakotay and her loyalty to the cause she signed up for? Did Tuvok not think it illogical of his captain to sacrifice her people for an alien race she hardly knew? Why was there no backlash? But nothing happened, and all the potential for heartstopping betrayal, intrigue, murder and blackmail went out the window, along with any hope of this ever being a series anyone could take seriously. The Prime Directive Each captain in each series has approached this most prized and revered first tenet of the Federation in his or her own way. Kirk regularly found ways around it, Picard rigidly obeyed it, Sisko often danced on the head of its pin. Janeway made it suit her. When the occasion, in her opinion, warranted it, or when it served her purposes, she would blithely ignore the Prime Directive. I suppose in a way you can't blame her: who was going to report her, and to whom? Here I'll be tracking her use/misuse/abuse of this most sacred of Starfleet's laws. And surely, in blowing up the array she right away breaks that law? For the Prime Directive states that, quote, “As the right of each sentient species to live in accordance with its normal cultural evolution is considered sacred, no Star Fleet personnel may interfere with the normal and healthy development of alien life and culture. Such interference includes introducing superior knowledge, strength, or technology to a world whose society is incapable of handling such advantages wisely. Star Fleet personnel may not violate this Prime Directive, even to save their lives and/or their ship, unless they are acting to right an earlier violation or an accidental contamination of said culture. This directive takes precedence over any and all other considerations, and carries with it the highest moral obligation” (Taken from Wiki article Prime Directive - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Captain Picard put it in more flowery language when he said, again quoted from the same article, "The Prime Directive is not just a set of rules. It is a philosophy, and a very correct one. History has proven again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous." So surely then, destroying the array which has been protecting the Ocampa is in itself a violation of the Prime Directive? Is Janeway not directly interfering in matters which do not concern her, have little or no impact upon her ship, her crew or her mission, and have nothing to do with the Federation, as they have no jurisdiction here? But that's Janeway: the Prime Directive may be sacred, but only when it suits her. To be fair, most captains (Picard excepted) have tried to twist and turn to find a way to defeat the letter of the law with the spirit of the law, and have mosly been successful. It is not to my knowledge recorded that any captain we know of has been brought to trial or even reprimanded for breaking this Directive. I believe a tacit, unspoken agreement exists whereby Starfleet know that the Prime Directive is impossible to enforce literally and always, and are prepared to turn a blind eye if the ends justify the means. The Doctor is in Although Voyager is a series that permits little if any character development, one does slip through the loop and here I'll be looking at how the only, to my mind, decent character, certainly in the first few seasons, changes and develops over the course of the show. When we first meet him, Teh Doctor (he never has any other name, perhaps in a nod to another famous sci-fi series with a doctor...) is irritating, irritated, curt, snobby, elitist and even downright rude. As the episodes go on and he gains more experience this will change vastly. He is of course not a real person; he is a hologram, a computer representation of a person. His actual designation is EMH for Emergency Medical Hologram; he is meant only to be called upon when or if the living doctor on the ship is killed or otherwise unable to carry out his duties. A backup system, essentially. But here in the depths of the Delta Quadrant there is no doctor, no replacement, no person who can take over. Nobody on the ship has anything like the medical knowledge that has been programmed into him, and so he must serve as the primary physician, even though he's not really meant to be left running for any real length of time. His extended periods of activity naturally become boring when there is no emergecy ---- he's meant to be turned off but cannot do it himself, so if someone forgets he has no choice but to remain active ---and so he becomes interested in things like reading, music and other pastimes, while also taking the opportunity to add to his knowledge of the humans and aliens with whom he serves, learning about them, learning from them, trying to be like them. In some ways, he is like Data in TNG, a not-quite-real person struggling to emulate humans and pass as one of them, knowing himself vastly superior but inwardly wishing he was as they are. Aliens! Well, there are aliens on board Voyager if you include the likes of Neelix, Tuvok and Torres, but here I'm talking about the aliens they meet. After all, they're in a whole new quadrant of the galaxy: surely there are as yet undreamed of species here? http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/87/Kes.jpg The Ocampa The first ones they meet are the Ocampa, after Neelix has come aboard, he himself a Tellaxian. The Ocampa seem to be a simple, agrarian race with little to distinguish them from humans other than slightly pointed ears, rather like Vulcans but smaller. Oh, and they live for three years or something. Other than Kes, who accompanies Neelix to the ship and stays as part of the crew, they don't really figure in the story again. http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/ima...ager-kazon.jpg The Kazon But these guys do. Basically, as I noted in the Voyager journal, a poor man's Klingon (they even look like them), they are a warrior race who take what they want, and become the enemies of the Federation --- or at least, Voyager --- when Janeway destroys the array. In case there's any doubt, the Kazon captain says as he turns away in anger, the debris of the destroyed array fading into space around him, “You have made an enemy today, Captain.” Again though, they're badly thought out and they don't last too long before they're replaced with more interesting and deadlier enemies. |
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DS9 Avery Brooks (Captain Sisko) Then http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...2/BenSisko.jpg Now http://www.eonline.com/eol_images/En...y.cm.13112.jpg Nana Visitor (Major Kira) Then http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media...06/320x240.jpg Now http://scifanatic.wpengine.netdna-cd...13/08/nana.jpg Alexander Siddig (Doctor Bashir) Then http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media...01/320x240.jpg Now http://scifanatic.wpengine.netdna-cd...er-480x220.png Terry Farrell (Jadzia Dax) Then http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi.../JadziaDax.jpg Now http://images6.fanpop.com/image/phot...56-500-750.png |
Couldn't let Star Trek Month pass without this...
Star Trek Personality Test - which character are you? |
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Seven of Nine, bitches! Now excuse me while I go touch my girly parts. http://www.matthewbarr.co.uk/trek/images/seven.jpg |
I'm Spock! I'm quite happy, although I was hoping for McCoy.
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I'm Spock. Is that a good thing?
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Data.
I think that test is BS. You answer all the questions and it just randomly spits out a character. The questions are too damn generic. |
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Fast running out of time here, as March draws to a close, so we're probably going to have one of these every day now in order to get them all in. We're now up to number http://curatti.com/wp-content/upload...cial-media.png as we return to the movies. There's something very different, and yet familiar about this theme, imbued as it is with a sort of fantasy/fairytale motif, which is fitting considering the movie concerns the resurrection of one of Star Trek's most popular characters in a mystical, non-scientific way. As I mentioned in the review of the movie, it's odd that of all people the Vulcans believe this, being so logical and dedicated to clear thinking and cold hard facts, with little or no room for sentiment. You would think they would be the last race to believe in a soul, but there you go. At any rate, the theme for the movie, while retaining some elements from the previous one, builds its own identity and certainly pulls at the heartstrings, for me anyway. It's not as punchy as many of the others, but you can clearly identify it as a Star Trek theme, unlike that of the fourth movie, which just sounded like it could have been for any film. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._for_Spock.png James Horner returned to score his second Star Trek movie, and in my opinion did an amazing job with it. I would put his work above and beyond Goldsmith's, although I can't elevate him about Courage's; after all, that was the original theme. But as a continuation of the elements explored in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, and a movie score in its own right, this one is well up there with the best of them. |
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http://ds9.trekcore.com/castcrew/ima...apeshifter.jpg Changelings/The Dominion Class: Shapeshifters, manipulative Home planet: The Changeling Planet Values: Strength, power, control Changelings of note: The Female Changeling, Odo Feature in: DS9 Originally hunted and feared by their enemies, the Changelings (also known as Shapeshifters) found a way to defeat their oppressors and thereafter became the oppressors, enslaving alien race after alien race and pulling them under the umbrella of their rule, The Dominion. The Dominion is made up of three races, these being the Changelings in control, the Vorta who are their enforcers and the Jem’Hadar, who are their soldiers. Changeling can take any shape they wish, from that of a human to a rock, and from an eagle to a floor, by morphing their fluid bodies into those shapes. At first, the shapeshifter Odo on Deep Space 9 is believed to be the only one of his kind, but later, to humanity and the rest of the galaxy’s misfortune, he comes to the notice of the Dominion, as does the Alpha Quadrant via the wormhole, and a great war explodes across the galaxy. Changelings do not trust any not of their own kind, whom they call “solids”, and can’t understand why Odo works with them. They try to recruit him to their cause but ultimately fail. The Changelings use their power for shapeshifting to take the forms of many important figures in the enemy’s camp, leading to much confusion and great victories for the Dominion. They are offered the chance of peaceful co-existence with the solids but turn it down, distrusting those who are not of their kind. In truth, this distrust is mutual: after all, how can you ever trust someone who could take on the shape of someone you knew, perhaps even yourself, and carry out deeds unbeknownst to you? Like the telepaths in Babylon 5, nobody would ever really feel comfortable about their presence, and unease leads to prejudice and hatred. The Changelings know this, and are getting their retaliation in first, having already experienced the ugly side of this balance. Oddly, or perhaps not, since they exist almost in the same hive mind state that the Borg do, other than Odo there is only really ever one Changeling featured right through the war, and she is simply known as The Female Changeling. The Changelings have absolutely no regard, pity or respect for the solids, and are capable of quite horrendous cruelty; they see all means as an end towards their own protection and retention of power. They rule with an iron fist, feared because of their shock troops, the Jem’Hadar, who make Klingons look like pussy cats. They do not consider the fact that the Jem’Hadar fight for them not because they are loyal or believe in their cause, but because they are addicted to a drug manufactured by the Changelings, and which can only be administered by the Vorta. Without regular injections of this drug, the soldiers would die. Again, the Changelings see this as a means to an end, not cruel or barbaric. They fear that solids will invade through the wormhole at Deep Space 9, and in order to stave off such an incursion they declare war on the Alpha Quadrant, a war that will pull in Klingons, Cardassians, Romulans and of course humans and lay waste to half the quadrant before it finally comes to an end. |
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Title: Yesterday's Enterprise Series: TNG Season: Three Writer(s): Ira Steven Behr, Hans Beimler, Richard Manning, Ronald D. Moore, Trent Christopher Ganino and Eric A. Stilwell Main character(s): Picard, Guinan, Yar Plot: The Enterprise is sucked into a time vortex which changes the timelines; in this future, humanity is at war with the Klingons and the Enterprise is a battleship. The episode features the return of Denise Crosby as Tasha Yar, and rather too much of Guinan. Without question one of the top three episodes of TNG, the ideas explored here --- what would happen if there had been no peace treaty between the human race and the Klingons --- are expertly woven into the story, which allows a return for Yar as she has not, in this reality, been killed by Armus. Guinan tells her though that she does not belong in this time. Yar realises there is something she is supposed to do, and eventually decides to go back with the alternate Enterprise (NCC-1701C) in order to sacrifice herself that the treaty happens as it was supposed to, and her life can have meaning. The episode is top-heavy with Guinan, one of my least favourite characters, but she's used well, as the only one who has the sense that what is happening is not what is supposed to be. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/picrating5.png Title: Let that be your last battlefield Series: TOS Season: Three Writer(s): Lee Cronin (Gene L. Coon), Oliver Crawford Main character(s): Kirk, Spock Plot: The Enterprise picks up two aliens, the only members of a warring race who have achieved mutually assured destruction. One is a law enforcement officer (he says) the other a criminal (he says) and Kirk is torn as he tries to show the two that being the only two of their race left alive they should settle their differences, but the prejudice and hatred of so many thousands of years is too ingrained, and they go on fighting to the bitter end. If ever a clearer and more clever representation of, quite literally, the ugly face of racism and bigotry was shown on TV, I haven't seen it. The two aliens have faces and bodies that are partially black and partially white, and when Kirk, unable to sort out the difference between them says incredulously “But you're both half black and half white” the policeman says “I am black on the right side! He is black on the left!” So simple, a message some have called heavy-handed but in the racially sensitive times of the late sixties, very telling I believe. The episode also carries another “heavy-handed message”, that if we allow our differences, or our perception of them, to colour (sorry) how we treat each other we risk total annihilation. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/picrating4.png Title: The Raven Series: VOY Season: Four Writer(s): Bryan Fuller and Harry “Doc” Kloor Main character(s): Seven of Nine, The Doctor Plot: Seven begins to have troubling dreams where she dreams of a black bird (a raven) and soon realises that she is beginning to recover her lost human memories as the Borg implants, which have been removed from her body, no longer block them. She inexplicably steals a shuttle and heads for a deserted moon... As ever, a decent Voyager episode centres on either Seven or the Doctor, in this case mostly the former. As Seven's memories come back she acts like someone under a compulsion, and eventually finds the crashed ship (The Raven) her parents and herself were assimilated from. It's pretty touching as we learn her real name, and see for the first time her giving in to human emotions, emotions she had thought gone forever. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/picrating4.png Title: Defiant Series: DS9 Season: Three Writer(s): Ronald D. Moore Main character(s): Sisko, Riker (Thomas), Kira Plot: Thomas Riker, the duplicate of Commander Will Riker created in TNG's “The Pegasus” comes to DS9 to steal the Defiant and use it against the Cardassians. Sisko is placed in a painful and awkward position, as he must now team up with Gul Dukat to hunt down the rogue ship, and hope to try to save not only Defiant but also its rebel captain. Another example of the “grey areas” DS9 explored. Starfleet hates the Cardassians but at this point there is an uneasy truce, and Sisko knows that Riker's actions could spark a new war between the races. He is also, as a Starfleet officer, duty-bound to hunt down and bring to justice any of the Maquis. In addition, he does not want to let his new pride and joy be destroyed. The episode also hints darkly at the hitherto not quite understood power of the Obsidian Order, and is a nice tie-in with TNG, one of the few since the pilot. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/picrating4.png Title: The trouble with Tribbles Series: TOS Season: Two Writer(s): David Gerrold Main character(s): Kirk Plot: An army of grain-eating, self-reproducing furry little creatures takes over the Enterprise. But they don't like Klingons! Ah, what can I say about this episode? The plot is wafer-thin and it was obviously written to appeal both more to younger children and to women, with the purring trilling tribbles “so cute!” and it's as close as TOS ever came to an all-out comedy storyline. Shatner finds it hard to keep a straight face, and even cold, logical Spock is won over by the furry little things. You can't call it one of the greatest ever written episodes or anything, but damn are those tribbles cute. A real instance where the show just let itself go and said, fuck it, let's have some fun! The only thing that could have made this episode better was if they had had Harry Mudd in it. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/picrating4.png |
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http://images2.fanpop.com/image/phot...91-450-600.jpg Q, played by John de Lancie Originally presented as an all-powerful, omnipotent and malevolent first enemy for the new crew of NCC-1701D to tangle with, Q is from a race called, well, the Q, who live in, um, the Q Continuum. To make it even more confusing, every member of the race is called Q! In the initial episodes of the first seasons Q appeared three times, each time seeming more dangerous and psychotic than before, and during their third run-in with him (season two's “Q Who”) he introduced them rather abruptly to the Borg, a meeting that should not really have taken place, if at all, for decades or centuries, as the Borg generally inhabited the Delta Quadrant, a fact Captain Janeway would later discover to her cost. Even so, it has been said that the Borg were aware of Earth, having attacked outposts along the Neutral Zone, as hinted at in the episode of the same name. Nevertheless, Q either intentionally sped up the process of encounter or perhaps used it as a way to forewarn Picard and his crew as to the existence of the Borg. However, when we next meet him in season three's “Deja Q” he has lost his powers and is mortal. This episode tilts the balance away from the serious, godly aspect of Q and towards making him into something more of a buffoon, which is how he would generally be seen from this on. Although he regains his powers at the end of the episode, we never quite feel the same way about Q as we did before: he has been humanised, and made something of an element of comic relief, rather like the original idea for the Ferengi changes, and in doing so the writers make a very memorable character, allowing De Lancie free rein to camp things up and constantly prod and annoy the ever-serious Picard. It becomes a “Mister Burns” syndrome: you can generally guarantee that any episode with Q in it will be a good one. Q has become fascinated with humanity, and if the truth be known, I would think a little jealous of them. Bored in his omnipotence and somewhat restricted by the rules of the Q Continuum as to what he can do, Q “tags along” with the Enterprise crew, sometimes butting on on important missions (“True Q”), or even trying to help Picard with his love life, as he does in “Qpid”, setting up a scenario from Robin Hood, to not very much hilarity really. In “Tapestry”, he poses as God (we assume) and tells Picard he has died on the operating table. He then gives him the chance to live his life over, in an homage to It's a wonderful life, allowing the captain to choose a less dangerous existence. He seems to delight in teaching Picard lessons, though often it turns out that he is the one who learns something. He fares less well with Captain Sisko though, and as a result is only used in DS9 once; a poor episode to be fair. Next he latches on to Janeway (“Cath-y!”) in an increasingly silly series of episodes spread throughout the latter seasons of Voyager, firstly trying to convince her to have his child, then later leaving that child on board the ship to “learn about humanity”. By the end, Q has been reduced to a figure of ridicule and fun, though far more popular than perhaps he could have been. TNG does however bring him back in its finale, in the role of omnipotent villain as he tries to prevent life from ever evolving on Earth. Nice to see him keeping his hand in then! |
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There may be those of you who will point to the similarities between this theme and that of Voyager, and then ask why this is so much higher than the latter? My answer? Fuck off. No, seriously. I find this, though it bears a certain resemblance to the theme to the other show, is more representative of this one. There's the sort of booming, military ambience you expect in a series that, from season three onwards, was concerned with a huge, galaxy-spanning war that pulled in all the major races in Star Trek, and there's a triumphant, victorious feel to it too. Whereas Voyager, as I have said, was generally a quiet, laidback, gentle theme, this one punches you in the face and demands your attention. Not as much as TNG does, but it's up there. And that's why it's made it all the way to number http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/.../Ridg57b5T.jpg in our countdown. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...3c/DS9logo.JPG I also like the way the music fits in with the opening sequence. As the music builds we see the station for the first time, then as it crescendos into the trumpeting fanfare a runabout flies away from Deep Space 9 until the end notes are swallowed by the wormhole as it opens and closes. Great stuff! Not my favourite Trek theme, obviously, otherwise it would be at number one, but earning a spot just outside the top three. |
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http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media...06/320x240.jpg Major Kira Nerys, played by Nana Visitor When Commander Benjamin Sisko arrives to take command of Deep Space 9, he not only has to battle prejudices, Cardassians and general apathy as much of the population of the station prepare to leave, but has to deal also with the feisty and opinionated Major Kira Nerys. She is the military liaison to the Bajoran government, and she is not happy to see Sisko. She sees him, and the Federation, as just another occupying force, and having just got rid of the Cardassians after fifty years of oppression she is not eager to cede authority again. She is certainly not backward in coming forward, telling Sisko what she thinks of him and his Starfleet when they first meet, but she gradually comes to realise that he is more than just a soldier or a bureaucrat, and ends up trusting and even liking him. She has a deep relationship with Odo, the station’s changeling security officer, and is in fact in love with him, though it takes some time before she will admit this to herself. She has also no time for Doctor Bashir, the young, bright, energetic prodigy who has come to take over as CMO, seeing him as a puppy-dog idealist, a boy on an adventure rather than anything serious. She mistrusts and pretty much loathes Quark, the Ferengi bar owner, though he is somewhat infatuated with her. She was in the Bajoran resistance and went on many raids against the Cardassians; she will of course never trust one of their race, and becomes both a thorn in the side of and also something of a fascination to Gul Dukat. She is deeply religious, as are all Bajorans, and even though Sisko has met the wormhole aliens and seen them to be such, she prefers to think of them as the gods of her people, The Prophets. She is secretly annoyed that they have chosen him, an outsider, as their emissary. She’s another strong female character, carrying herself with a military bearing at all times, almost as if she is trying to deny she is a woman, and is nothing more or less than a soldier. As we learn in the penultimate TNG episode, “Pre-emptive strike”, Bajorans have their family or surname first, and are addressed by this formally, as in “Major Kira” but the last name when using personal address, as in “I love you, Nerys”. Kira has a romantic relationship with one of the vedeks, Bareil, who later dies, his death hitting her hard. She remains on DS9 as a liaison officer to the Dominion when they take over the station during the Dominion War, and is able to use her experience as a rebel on her home planet to create a resistance movement, funnelling information back to Starfleet and eventually allowing them to retake the station. |
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Rene Auberjonois (Odo) Then http://www.startrek.com/uploads/asse...e81c076f80.jpg Now http://pmcdeadline2.files.wordpress....0520035704.jpg Armin Shimerman (Quark) Then http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/Ac...61017-1836.jpg Now https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images...cb4b0f401.jpeg Cirroc Lofton (Jake Sisko) Then http://www.startrek.com/uploads/asse...865e70af66.jpg Now http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/bg/C...aKQujVsZ4m.jpg Colm Meaney (O’Brien) Then http://i413.photobucket.com/albums/p...enlookingf.jpg Now http://www.empireonline.com/images/f...n-guide/30.jpg |
And so we're down finally to the top three of
http://www.trollheart.com/datamusic.png And coming in at number http://reallifeinlouisville.com/wp-c...09/number3.jpg it's one of the most popular and well-known and recognised of the themes, with a big, bouncy, exciting orchestral melody and thumping percussion in a militaristic beat that just tells you “adventure is on the way!” Yeah, it could only be, couldn't it? http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...peninglogo.png Although to be fair, I reallly have to share this with http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ure_poster.png as much as I would like not to. I didn't like the movie (in case you didn't read my review of it) and if there was anything good about it I guess it was the theme, which later went on to be selected, almost note for note, as the theme for the new series. But I will always think of TNG when I hear this music, and for those who care, I prefer the slightly longer version, where they hold the note on the next-to-last bar, you know the one. But if nothing else, film aside, this was after all the music that heralded the return to the small screen of my childhood favourite TV show, and so it was a big thing and will always remain one of my favourites. One of the best things Jerry Goldsmith ever did. |
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http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/...path-prefix=en Name: Betazed Alignment: Friendly, member of the Federation Home to: Betazoid race Capital City: Rixx Orbital star: Beta Veldonna, yellow dwarf star By all accounts a lush and beautiful world, Betazed is the only inhabitable (M-Class) planet in its solar system and is home to the race of telepaths known as the Betazoids. If you look up into the sky from the planet’s surface you will see a blue sky, like that of Earth, but with pink clouds. The weather is generally temperate and mild but can shift with alarming suddenness. There are beauty spots such as the Valley of Song, which is a popular place to spread the ashes of a loved one, Janaran Falls in the Jalara jungle and Lake Cataria. When the high mountain peaks of coloured crystal catch the rays of the morning sun, the patterns reflected back on the surface of the land are a most beautiful sight. One of the mountain ranges, the Loneel Mountains, is honeycombed with caves and has heavy deposits of a mineral which scrambles sensor signals, making this an ideal place for the resistance that sprung up on Betazed during its occupation by the Dominion. Betazed is a matriarchal society, ruled by women, and has a long and proud dynasty of rulers. As they are telepaths, Betazoids frown usually on spoken communications, believing these to be beneath them, unless one of the parties is not of their race. They also have an odd custom which requires every guest at a wedding ceremony to be naked. The planet is somewhat unique, or at least similar to Earth, in that it hosts other races among its population, humans being among them. Even more similarities to Earth exist, as Betazed has an atmosphere breathable by humans and comparable gravity, has five continents and many hundreds of islands, and is more than seventy percent oceans. |
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http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/...7xlh12rjpg.jpg Romulans Class: Humanoid, warlike Home planet: Romulus Values: Cunning, strategy, treachery, strength, military might Feature in: TOS, TNG, DS9 Romulans of note: Commander Tomalak, Senator Pardek, Commander Sela As earlier explained, Romulans share a common ancestry with Vulcans, but rejected Surak’s total-elimination-of-emotions and full-on logic to the point that they abandoned their home planet and set up on a new one. In temperament they are the reverse of Vulcans. Though they also espouse logic to a degree, they are more fiery, combative and indeed even more arrogant than their counterparts. They are also racist and supremacist. Again unlike the Vulcans they have set up an empire, and military conquest occupies their every waking thought. They are the creators of the “cloaking field” which allows vessels to remain undetected and invisible while in flight, however this drains so much power from the warp core that in order to be able to fire their weapons they must deactivate it and risk being detected. While Vulcans can be said to be based upon the Greek ideals of peace, reflection, literature and art, Romulans (as their name suggests) more closely resemble the Roman Empire of the late centuries BC and the early ones AD. They utilise a similar government structure, with titles like Praetor and Consul, and of course Emperor. Romulans also resemble Cardassians in terms of being a police state. Their people are constantly monitored by the Romulan secret service, the Tal Shiar, and dissenting opinions are not only frowned upon but actively discouraged in line with the methods of the Obsidian Order. They are one of the few alien races in which women seem to have equal status, being able to serve on or even command starships, stand for office and own property. Although they look very similar to Vulcans there is a harder, more militaristic tint to their features, and they do not have, or have lost, the mind-melding talents their Vulcan cousins have. Their blood is, however, the same colour --- green --- being based on copper rather than iron. They are a proud, arrogant and manipulative people, having been known to have caused several conflicts and wars between other races, while staying back in the shadows, often unremarked, like puppet masters. They are known to be one of the most devious peoples in the galaxy, leading Picard to once remark to Lursa and B’etor, Klingon sisters of Duras, “You have manipulated the circumstances with the skill of a Romulan” (words that would normally anger any Klingon but which the two rebels took as a backhanded compliment), and also to describe the race as being all about “move and countermove”. |
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http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...oyage_Home.png Title: Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home Released: 1986 Writer(s): Harve Bennett/ Leonard Nimoy/Nicholas Meyer/Peter Krikes/Steve Meerson Director: Leonard Nimoy Starring: All the usual Star Trek crew plus: Christine Hicks as Gillian Taylor, Mark Lenard as Sarek, Jane Wyatt as Amanda Grayson, Robin Curtis as Saavik, Majel Barrett as Christine Chapel Runtime: 122 minutes Budget: USD 21 million Boxoffice: USD 133 million Critical acclaim: Extremely high Fan acclaim: Cautiously high; many claimed there was too much emphasis on humour Legacy: Final film in the trilogy begun with The Wrath of Khan Enterprise: None As a strange alien probe is detected on its way to Earth, the Klingons demand “justice” for the “murder” of Kruge’s crew and the theft of their Bird of Prey, (see previous movie) while also asserting that Kirk personally was testing a weapon of mass destruction, to be used against the Klingon people. Sarek, speaking for Kirk and his crew, refutes these wild allegations and places them in context. The council have though already made up their minds to charge Kirk with violation of several Starfleet regulations. Kirk and his crew meanwhile are still on Vulcan, but after three months spent there have decided to return to Earth and face the consequences of their actions. They have renamed the Bird of Prey as HMS Bounty. Spock is coming with them, to offer testimony in their expected trial. Meanwhile, the probe is emitting a signal as it nears Earth which is having a detrimenal effect on every ship it encounters, destroying some, knocking power out of others. As it gets to Earth, Starfleet Spacedock is completely shut down as they lose all power, and the alien device begins to probe the oceans, stirring up massive tidal waves. As Earth sends out a general distress call, warning other craft not to approach lest they get caught up in the probe’s damaging signal, Kirk and his crew monitor this and wonder what the probe could want? Since it is now being directed at the seas, Spock surmises that it may be intended for some or one of the denizens of Earth’s oceans. When he has narrowed the sound down though, he is somewhat aghast to find that the probe’s transmissions most closely mirror the song of the humpback whale, which has been extinct for over two hundred years. Realising that if the probe does not get its answer it will eventually, unintentionally but certainly destroy Earth, Kirk and Spock decide the only thing they can do is go into the past, to bring humpback whales back to answer the signal. Using the method they tested in the series, that of building up to maximum warp speed and then slingshotting around the sun, they manage to go backwards in time to the twentieth century. Intending to seek for whales in the oceans (of course) they are surprised to find readings coming from the city, San Francisco. But there is a further problem. The time-travel has taken everything the ship has and its dilithium crystals are dead. In order to be able to return, they need to re-energise them. Spock suggests using material from nuclear fission reactors, and you can already hear the sighs. With stunning lack of knowledge of the twentieth century and the relationship between the US and Russia, Kirk chooses Sulu, Uhura and --- wait for it --- Chekov to track down some nuclear subs from which to get the radioactive protons they need, while he and Spock go hunting the snark, sorry, whales. They discover that a nearby maritime institute has two humpback whales in captivity, and hightail it there. They meet the tour guide, Dr. Gillian Taylor, and learn that the two whales are to be released back into the oceans, as the institute cannot afford to keep them. Kirk and Spock team up with Taylor later, as Spock, who has gone swimming with the whales, explains that the female is pregnant. They try to convince Taylor that they can help her, but it’s hard to do that without giving away who they are and why they’re here. Scotty, meanwhile, sets about showing a glass factory designer how to produce the thin flexible glass he needs the tank for the whales to be made of, while Chekov and Uhura have made it on to the carrier USS Enterprise (yeah) and are harvesting the protons, but chased by Navy security Chekov falls to a lower deck and is paralysed. Kirk comes clean about who he is, but Taylor of course does not believe him. She can see his passion though for the whales, and begins to wonder, especially when she drops him off in the park and he seems to just vanish. When she gets back to the institute the next mornignnhowever the whales are already gone. In desperation, she returns to the park in search of Kirk, not believing his story but at a loss for options. She happens to arrive as the parts for the tank are being loaded by helicopter flown by Sulu into what looks like empty space with a man’s top half (Scotty) leaning out and then she runs smack into the cloaked ship calling Kirk’s name. With no other choice Kirk has her beamed aboard the Bird of Prey. She, Kirk and McCoy then have to go to save Chekov’s life. He is not expected to live, at least by the medical standards of the twentieth century, but of course McCoy can save him if he can get to him. After they do, it’s all speed ahead to the whales, where they just about manage to catch them before a whaling ship does. Returning them to the twenty-third century, they save the Earth just in time as the whales return the probe’s signal and give it the answers it was looking for, and it buggers off. Kirk and his crew are tried on their return, but all charges bar one are dropped, given the slightly mitigating factor of their having saved the world: that of disobeying a direct order from a superior officer is seen as the most important charge, and cannot be dismissed. Kirk is reduced in rank to Captain, and as they head towards their new assignment, they are all delighted to see that the Enterprise has, after all, been refit and rebuilt, and they are to serve aboard her. Taylor is assigned to a scientific ship; being the only person now on Earth who has any experience with whales she will be a valuable resource and looks like she will do well. Spock decides to remain with the crew rather than return to Vulcan. QUOTES Klingon ambassador: “There shall be no peace between our peoples while Kirk lives!” Kirk: “Mister Scott, how soon can we be underway?” Scott: “Give me another day Admiral. Damage control is easy; reading Klingon --- that's hard!” Kirk: “That’s a lot of work in a short time. I’m impressed, Mr. Chekov.” Chekov: “We are in an enemy vessel, Sir. I do not wish to be shot down on the way to our own funeral!” McCoy: “You really have gone where no man has gone before! Can’t you tell me what it was like?” Spock: “It would be impossible to discuss, Doctor, without a common frame of reference.” McCoy: “You mean I have to die to find out what happened to you?” Spock: “Excuse me Doctor, I am receiving a number of distress calls.” McCoy: “I don’t doubt it!” Kirk (leaving the cloaked ship): “Everyone remember where we parked!” Spock (as he and Kirk are thrown off a bus): “What does it mean, exact change?” Chekov (to cop, in his best Russian accent): “Excuse me Sir, could you direct us to the Almeda Naval Base? It’s where they keep the nuclear vessels.” Spock: “To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.” Taylor: “Who ever said the human race was logical?” Kirk: “It’s not always necessary to tell the truth.” Spock: “I cannot lie.” Kirk: “Not lie, no, but can’t you exaggerate? You did it before, don’t you remember?” (This is a clever little link back to “The Wrath of Khan”, where Saavik accuses Spock of lying when he used the coded words to make it seem that the Enterprise was in worse shape than it was. “You lied”, she said, to which he replied, “I exaggerated.”) Chekov: “Admiral, we have found the nuclear vessel. And Admiral, it is the Enterprise!” (Nice touch, to make their target one of the ships that bore the same name as theirs, making a very tenuous argument against there being no Enterprise in this movie!) Kirk: “There she is: the girl from the institute. If we play our cards right we may be able to find out when the whales are leaving.” Spock: “How will playing cards help us?” Taylor (to Spock): So, you were at Berkley?” Spock: “I was not.” Kirk: “Memory problems too.” Spock: Are you sure it is not time for a colourful metaphor?” Taylor: “Are you sure you won’t change your mind?” Spock: “Is there something wrong with the one I have?” Taylor: “Don’t tell me: you’re from outer space.” Kirk: “No, I’m from Iowa. I only work in outer space.” Navy interrogator: “Okay, let’s take it from the top.” Chekov: “The top of what?” Navy guy: “Name.” Chekov: “My name?” Navy guy: “No, my name!” Chekov: “I do not know your name!” Navy guy: “You play games with me, mister, and you’re through!” Chekov: “I am? Can I go now?” McCoy: “What’s wrong with you?” Old lady: “I need dialysis.” McCoy: “Dialysis? What is this: the Dark Ages? You swallow this, and if you have any problems, call me.” Guard: “How’s the patient, doc?” Kirk: “He’s gonna make it.” Guard: “He? You came in with a she!” Kirk: “One little mistake…” Scott: “Admiral! There be whales here!” Taylor: “The whales are trapped! They’ll drown!” (How the fuck can whales drown???) Starfleet Chairman: “Captain Spock, you do not stand accused.” Spock: “Mister Chairman, I stand with my shipmates.” Sarek: “As I recall, I opposed your enlisting in Starflet. it is possible that judgement was incorrect.” (This is a huge admission for Sarek, who has always resented his son leaving behind, as he sees it, his heritage and destiny, and the decision has been a bone of contention and discord between father and son for decades. For Sarek to even admit the possibility that he might have made a mistake is a huge thing in itself, to admit it to his son is almost unheard of.) Kirk: “My friends, we have come home.” Most memorable scenes and effects The Bird of Prey landing in Golden Gate Park, cloaked, while two binmen look on with a mixture of fear and horror is classic. The scene on the bus, where Spock uses the Vulcan nerve pinch on an annoying punk who won’t turn down his music, and the resultant applause from the other passengers, is a great one too. The scene where McCoy meets a woman waiting to go in for dialysis and gives her a pill, whereafter she is in her wheelchair telling everyone in delight “Doctor gave me a pill and I grew a new kidney!” as the doctors shake their heads in amazement, total class comedy with human drama added. In fact, in the hospital the whole reaction of McCoy to twentieth-century medicine is great: it’s like someone from our century going back to the thirteenth and railing on about leeches and entrails reading. The looks on the faces of the whalers when their harpoon hits the side of the cloaked ship instead of whales, and when the ship then decloaks above them like something out of War of the Worlds is truly memorable! Houston, we have a problem! I feel that the sudden interest Taylor takes in Kirk and Spock as they walk down the road, having been ejected from the insititute --- by her --- is a little hard to believe. If you had just thrown out two jokers who had tried to compromise your job, would you be as willing to stop and give them a lift? I just feel that’s hard to justify. When the navy guard is patrolling with his dog on the ship, it pulls him towards where Chekov and Uhura are hiding, but he ignores its growls and pulls it away. I know people do this with dogs --- dogs can be easily distracted --- but given that this is a guard dog, should he not be paying more attention to what it is trying to tell him? Themes and motifs There is of course one overriding theme in this movie, which is of conservation and ecological responsibility. The message may be hammered home with less finesse than Roddenberry reminded us of how bad the Nazis were in “Patterns of force” or even how racism is bad in “Let that be your last battlefield”, but it’s a valid one. If we wipe out certain species here forever, how are we to know what consequences that could have for us in the future? It’s certainly a bleeding heart, liberal view, but when you think about it, why do whales need to be slaughtered as they are being now, except to feed our insatiable greed and need for comforts? There’s a rebirth motive of sorts, looking to the past for the solutions of the future, and of course many sidelong comments on our century (well, you know what I mean: our time, even though we’ve now moved out of that century) and at the end of course there’s another rebirth, as Admiral Kirk reverts to the Captain Kirk we knew in the series, and the Enterprise is given a new lease of life, which will carry it through two more movies. Music I know Leonard Nimoy wanted his friend Leonard Rosenstern to score the previous movie, and here he gets his wish obviously, but I don’t see it. The music is great, but there’s nothing Star Trek about it. Apart from a brief nod to the original theme, this could be the music for any adventure movie. It’s more classical in feel, and doesn't and wouldn’t make me think of Star Trek if I heard it out of context, not the way the themes for the second and third (and even, if I’m honest, the first) films do. I feel they missed a trick here, but I suppose it could tie in with the fact that this is a very different Trek movie: not set in the twenty-third century for the bulk of it, no Enterprise and a whole lot more concentration on non-science-fiction themes than the ones that have gone before, Still, so far, my least favourite of all four. Does this movie deserve its reputation? With far too much emphasis on being clever and humourous (this movie features more jokes and shots than the other three put together) and its “save the whales” message, much of what is quintessentially Star Trek is somewhat lost here, and many fans believed it was too light-hearted, especially as the conclusion of the arc begun in The Wrath of Khan. I would agree: too much time spent in the past makes this a movie that could almost be an Earth-based one, and overall I found it quite disappointing. The conclusion of the arc was good, yes, but I think that the writers took the easy way out by setting it somewhere other than the usual, making reliance on effects less and the story easier to write, and excuding any other alien races including a proper villian. They could even have had someone on Earth who was trying to prevent the whales being brought back, or someone who had come through time to prevent Kirk’s mission …. ah the possibilities were there. But I feel overall this was made too easy and while it’s not my least favourite Trek movie, it’s down there among them. Critics do not agree with this assessment, seeing the film as the most lighthearted of the series (to that point) and more true to the spirit of the series itself. That may be true, but to be honest I don’t or didn’t go to a Star Trek movie to laugh at it. I expect the odd joke, humourous line or scene, sure, but generally I expect to be entertained by a science-fiction movie, not a conservation one. Fans and critics clash on this one, which makes it hard to give it a proper rating, but for my own personal opinion, I award it http://www.trollheart.com/tmr3.png |
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Well what else would we have at number http://dcprosportsreport.com/wp-cont.../2015/01/2.jpg after all? To be fair, I considered and weighed up the last two when it came time to choose, and though one had the edge in terms of legacy and respect, I just felt there was one I liked better overall. This of course, is the first and original theme. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...peninglogo.png It always surprised me how this was chosen as the theme for the new show. We all know it to hear now and associate it with Star Trek, especially the spacey, synthy opening, but really, when you listen to it, it is nothing like you'd expect from a sci-fi series. The boppy, bossa-nova beat. The woman singing operatically one later seasons. The triumphant flourish at the end. None of these musical signatures speak to me of space, starships or aliens. And yet, now we would expect nothing else to be its theme. Somehow, it's got in on our collective consciousness, and like the theme to Match of the Day, it's the music we identify with the show. It's so ingrained in Star Trek in fact that the followup series, to say nothing of several movies, all use at least its opening bars to introduce their own themes. It will always be iconic, it will always be familiar and it will, always and forever, be the music that announced to us as kids that Star Trek was on. I wonder if Alexander Courage still receives royalties? ;) |
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http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/...0-beverly2.jpg Commander Beverly Crusher, M.D., played by Gates McFadden A far cry from “Bones” on the original Enterprise, Crusher is the first, to date, female doctor to appear in the Trekverse, and another strong character. Having her own son on the ship with her makes her maternally protective of him, though she tries not to smother him (wish she had though!). She has previous history with Picard, the captain having been a friend of the family, and the man who brought home the body of her husband Jack, who had been killed in action. There is a certain frisson of sexual tension between Picard and Crusher, and you get the feeling that, had Jack not been in the picture, something might have happened. Now that he is out of the way, Picard is too much of a gentleman and too strictly formal to allow any such relationship to develop, although he does maintain a healthy friendship with Crusher, she being the only one on board who can call him by his first name. She is Chief Medical Officer on the ship, and so the only one with the authority to remove Picard from duty should the criteria be fulfilled and he be unfit for the position. She has, as was mentioned in the entry on Deanna Troi, a strong friendship with the ship’s counsellor, and they are the two main strong female characters in the series. As a doctor, she has a strong sense of morals and ethics, and so is horrified when another doctor allows a paralysed Worf to undergo dangerous experimental surgery that does eventually lead to his walking again, but the ethical dilemma can’t be avoided and Crusher reports her, having her struck off for malpractice and reckless endangerment. She is one of the few female leads in the series who never has a proper onscreen relationship. She hooks up with a trill at one point but when the male host body dies and the symbiont is put into a female one, she can’t quite make the leap. Her clinical thinking and refusal to buckle under pressure serves her well when she becomes entrapped in a bubble universe of her own in a rather silly episode, where she remarks to herself “If there’s nothing wrong with me, then maybe there’s something wrong with the universe!” Although it’s the right diagnosis, it’s not one anyone else would easily come to. On her original assignment to the Enterprise Picard offers her a transfer, believing it would be difficult for her to serve under the man who reminded her so much of her late husband (though in reality he is probably hoping to remove the temptation if she was not onboard) but she tells him that she requested the assignment. She is however reassigned for season two, due to internal problems with the actress and other commitments, and it is only through the intervention, even demands and threats of Patrick Stewart that she is reassigned for season three and remains onboard thereafter. |
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http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/...path-prefix=en Jem’Hadar Class: Humanoid, warlike Home planet: None Values: Serving the Founders Featured in: DS9 Jem’Hadar of note: None; they rarely even have names, only ranks like “First” and “Second”, and are allowed no personal identity by the Founders The footsoldiers of the Dominion, the Jem’Hadar are bred from birth to be warriors and carry out the orders of the Founders. They do not --- can not --- question these orders, no matter how genocidal they may be. They are controlled by the genetically inbuilt need for a drug known as Ketracil White, which is produced on one of the worlds of the Dominion, and without it they will die. They are single-minded, almost Borglike in pursuit of their aims, which are always military and always to work in the service of the Founders. When not fighting they are training; there is room for nothing else in their lives. They literally live and die for the Founders. Genetic breeding has made every single one of them fearless and a great tactician, so that in theory one or two Jem’Hadar could hold off many hundreds or even thousands of its enemies. They will fight to the last man, to the last breath, will never surrender and will never disobey or turn against the Founders. They are, in a nutshell, the perfect soldiers. Jem’Hadar are a one-gender race; they are hatched from eggs and so there is no requirement for sexual intercourse, making them all male. They can produce a kind of portable cloaking device which allows them to remain invisible until it is dropped, thus surprising their enemies. This is called “shrouding”. From birth, Jem’Hadar children age within three days to full maturity and experience chaotic and violent behaviour, increasing exponentially until they ingest the “white”. |
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VOY Kate Mulgrew (Captain Janeway) Then http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ay_Season7.jpg Now http://bestcelebritystyle.com/wp-con...messy-updo.jpg Robert Beltran (Chakotay) Then http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/...path-prefix=en Now https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images...6_400x400.jpeg Jeri Ryan (Seven of Nine) Then http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...en_of_Nine.jpg Now http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDQ0WDgzMQ...T~zfs/$_35.JPG Robert Duncan McNeill (Paris) Then http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...c/TomParis.jpg Now https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...d_VzBrAXZM6Mmw |
Garrett Wang (Harry Kim)
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Title: Progress Series: DS9 Season: One Writer(s): Peter Allan Fields Main character(s): Kira Plot: Kira tries to remove a stubborn farmer from a moon orbiting Bajor which is scheduled for development. If any one episode ever typified how boring DS9 was, or could be, in its initial season, this is it. Progress? There's none. It's the slowest, most boring and dreary story which draws parallels to every homeowner or farmer or crazy uncle who's put his foot down and said “I'm stayin'!” when told they must evacuate their home. It seems that usually (and this was almost always the case) any episode focussing entirely on Kira was guaranteed to be slow and boring. This is no exception. We are not made feel sympathetic towards the farmer, who's a stubborn old bastard, nor Kira, who really does little and mostly refuses to grasp the nettle and just grab the guy the fuck off the planet. Hey girl! You're working for the Feds now. Time to put on your big girl knickers and face up to it. Even the subplot, with Nog and Jake trying to sell gear, is beyond poor. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating4.png Title: Fair Haven Series: VOY Season: Six Writer(s): Robin Burger Main character(s): Janeway Plot: Paris and Kim build a holographic representation of a “cute, quaint” Irish village on the holodeck. Why? God knows. Oh, you knew this one was coming, didn't you? I'm known to be touchy, yes, but I always considered this to be the biggest insult to Irish people that Star Trek writers had ever written, since O'Brien was unbelievably mistakenly seen singing “Jerusalem” with Bashir in “The wounded” on TNG. Jesus! It's basically The Quiet Man in space. That's it. The whole episode takes place on the holodeck and everyone takes roles in the little Irish village. Of course, all of Ireland is like this you know --- Fuck! There goes another bloody leprechaun! Excuse me... Ratign: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating5.png Title: I, Borg Series: TNG Season: Five Writer(s): Rene Echevarria Main character(s): Picard, Riker, Geordi Plot: A lone Borg drone is “humanised” by the Enterprise crew. Ah, bless. I almost needed a new telly after this. I swear, I came close to throwing something at it. Having successfully created the most implacable enemy Starfleet had ever faced, totally alien, deaf to logic or pleas or bargains, they decide to make them human. Oh look! They're just like us. No they fucking aren't! I never felt the same about the Borg again after this. And Picard, given the opportunity to wipe out the whole hive, all Borg everywhere, and save billions of lives, has a crisis of conscience and refuses to do so. Has he never listened to Spock? Rating: http:///www.trollheart.com/wesrating5.png Title: The Omega Glory Series: TOS Season: Two Writer(s): Gene Roddenberry Main character(s): Kirk, Spock, McCoy Plot: The Enterprise comes across two civilisations at war in which another Starfleet captain is helping one side. These two races are called --- wait for it --- Yangs and Comms. I can't go on... Fuck you anyway Roddenberry, you bigoted, close-minded old cunt. This is without question the worst episode of any Star Trek series, Enterprise excluded as I haven't seen it all. But I'd almost rather watch “Fair Haven” than this! The nationalistic jingoism, the chest-beating, the speech that the “Constituition is for all men, not just Yangs” makes me sick to my stomach. Kirk's fond glance at the stars-and-stripes as he leaves made me grind my teeth: I almost expected him to salute. Luckily he doesn't, or I would definitely have needed a new TV set! Worst. Episode. Ever. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating5.png Title: Spock's brain Series: TOS Season: Three Writer(s): Lee Cronin (Gene L. Coon) Main character(s): Spock, Kirk, McCoy Plot: Spock's brain is stolen by some female aliens. Yeah. You can laugh, and we all did, but at least it's not “The Omega Glory”! Seriously though: you start a new season (which, unbeknownst to you, will be your last) with this tripe and don't expect to be cancelled? The plot is laughable and wafer thin. How can Spock's brain --- anyone's brain --- continue to fucntion after it's been removed from the cranium? Words just fail me. Perhaps one of the best lines though --- unintentionally, it is to be assumed --- comes from one of the sexy women who took Spock's thinking gear, when she snaps “Brain and brain! What is brain?” Indeed. Ask Mr. Coon where his was when he wrote this drivel. Still, I guess at least you can laugh at it, which is more than you can say for the other one. Rating: http://www.trollheart.com/wesrating5.png |
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http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/...path-prefix=en Commander Sela, played by Denise Crosby Alternate timelines are always so interesting aren't they? Although she died in “Skin of evil”, in another future opened up during “Yesterday's Enterprise”, Tasha Yar returned with the Enterprise-C in order to balance out the timelines. Seems she was not then killed, but captured by Romulans, one of whom fell in love with and married her. The union of that marriage was Sela, who looks just like her mother (well, she is played by Denise Crosby!) other than the Romulan ears. She is in fact almost a female Spock, half-Romulan and half-human. She tells Picard that her mother died when trying to escape with her, and due to the warning shouted out by Sela was recaptured and later executed. Sela does not evince any emotion at the death of her mother, and it is clear that she thinks of her as a traitor to what she now sees as her own people. She is first encountered in TNG when she captures Geordi LaForge and brainwashes him, turning him into a “Manchurian Candidate”-style assassin. Later she helps Lursa and B'Etor to stage a coup and seize control of the Klingon Empire, by gunrunning but the plan is foiled by Picard and particularly Data, who detects the cloaked ships trying to cross the Klingon/Romulan border. Picard and his crew next encounter her when, in the process of tracking down the said Ambassador Spock on Romulus, they are both taken prisoner by her as she puts into action her plan to sneak Romulan shock troops into Vulcan as a prelude to invasion and conquest. She is of course defeated, but this does not stop her trying. This is the last we hear of her in the series, though apparently one of the novels has her committing suicide rather than be handed over to the Federation when she engineers the destruction of Deep Space 9. The little hussy! |
For almost a month now we've been counting down through
http://www.trollheart.com/datamusic.png and now we have finally arrived at the very top. So what do we find in the coveted position of number http://kingdomintelligencebriefing.c...er-1-logo1.jpg There could only be one choice really, and here it is. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...th_of_Khan.png Not only is it still the best, nearly thirty years later, of all the Star Trek movies in my (and most people's) opinion, but it has the best soundtrack. Young composer James Horner created a powerful yet somehow soothing backdrop to the adventures of the USS Enterprise that it had never had before. There's something magical, stirring and even pastoral about his music that mixes in nevertheless elements of military themes and conflict, embracing the main signature tune while updating it, and the soundtrack would go on to be associated more with the franchise almost than the original theme. A true masterwork, a case of improving vastly upon the original and classic theme, and a worthy winner in the end. KHAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!! |
Troll, you watching Orange is the New Black on Netflix? Kate Mulgrew plays a great character on that show. If you haven't seen it you should check it out. It's an excellent show.
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And so we come to the end of Star Trek Month. It's been a blast, over the last thirty-one days trying to give you all an overall flavour of what the franchise is about, taking elements from each series and doing what I can to educate those of you who are unfamiliar with Star Trek as to why it is such a global phenomenon. As usual, time was our enemy and I didn't get to do everything I wanted, but then, there's only so much you can do within the limits of a month. I tried to keep it fresh and interesting, jumping between series and trying to cover the movies as well, and hopefully those of you who have never watched it now have an idea what to expect if and when you sit down to catch up on any of the series. Our coverage was of course tinted with the sadness of the news of the passing of Leonard Nimoy just days before we opened, and with that in mind I'd like to render one final tribute to those who have passed on, but who made these series into the cult and then culturally recognised smash hit that it became. We will miss them all. http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media...03/320x240.jpg James Doohan, as Lieutenant Commander Montgomery “Scotty” Scott, 1920-2008. James was with the original series from episode one to the end, and featured in the six “original” movies, as well as guest starring in the TNG episode, “Relics”. His Scottish charm (though he was Canadian in reality) and no-nonsense approach won him fans all over the world, with catchphrases like “Ye cannae change the laws of physics” becoming part of his legacy. Doohan died as a result of complications following Parkinson's Disease and Alzeheimer's Disease, at the age of 88. His ashes were flown into space, as befitted the beloved Chief Engineer aboard the USS Enterprise. http://robotrabbi.files.wordpress.co...age_little.jpg (Jackson) DeForest Kelley, as Doctor Leonard H. “Bones” McCoy, 1920-1999. Kelley played the laconic southern doctor and friend of Captain Kirk in TOS, after the original doctor had been rejected in the first pilot. His character was a tough, outspoken man (as you would expect from a doctor) but capable of great compassion. Aside from Spock, he was probably Kirk's best friend. Like Scotty, he was in every episode of TOS plus all the movies, and made a very brief cameo in TNG's pilot. He too left catchphrases, the most famous being “Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor not a [insert other occupation here]". He died of stomach cancer and his ashes were scattered in the Pacific Ocean. http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/...path-prefix=en Leonard Nimoy as Commander (later Captain) Spock, 1931-2015. Perhaps the most loved character, not only on TOS but in the entire franchise, Spock was Kirk's right-hand man and friend, though as a Vulcan he seldom evinced any sort of emotion. As a character, Spock espoused the idea of logical thought being the impetus for actions, and created the idea of “The needs of the few”. He was in every single episode of the series, even the original aborted pilot, making him the only character to hold that distinction. He was also in more Star Trek movies than any other character, including the two most recent ones from the “reboot”, as well as a double episode of TNG, “Unification”. Our most recent loss, Nimoy died in February of complications from COPD. http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media...el/320x240.jpg Majel Barrett-Roddenberry, as Nurse Christine Chapel/Lwaxanna Troi, 1932-2008. The only other actor to survive the original pilot (although she played a different character who was not brought forward into the actual series), Barrett has the distinction of having played a total of four “characters”, as it were, in the franchise. First she was the mannish “Number One” in the pilot, “The Cage”, then she spent three seasons as Dr. McCoy's nurse, Christine Chapel. In TNG she was Deanna Troi's annoying Betazoid mother, Lwaxanna, and in most if not all of the series she was also the voice of the computer, which meant she was in virtually every episode of every series, quite a feat. Originally Majel Barrett, she married Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry in 1969. She died in 2008 as a result of leukemia. http://www.wearysloth.com/Gallery/Ac...0198-18158.jpg Mark Lenard, as Sarek, 1924-1996. We first meet Mark as an unnamed Romulan sub-commander in the TOS episode “Balance of terror”, but it is as Ambassador Sarek, in “Journey to Babel” and later in TNG and the third, fourth and sixth Star Trek movies that we learn to love him as Spock's father. In the TNG episode that sees the return of his son to the small screen, “Unification Part I”, Sarek the character dies, and in 1996, five years later, Mark Lenard succumbed to multiple myeloma and died at his home. http://americanhumanist.org/system/s...rodenberry.jpg Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, 1921-1991. Although his view of the future was certainly an idealised one, as portrayed in both TOS and initially in TNG, we owe Gene a great debt, as without him there would never have been a Star Trek. He fought hard for the series, even after its pilot had been declined, and struggled to keep it on the air in the closing season. He was eventually sidelined after the debacle that was the first Trek movie, as other, younger and fresher ideas were brought to bear, mostly to the franchise's benefit. He died in 1991, having been confined to a wheelchair since the previous year. His death was the result of a cardiopulmonary arrest, likely brought on by substance abuse and excessive smoking. His ashes, like those of James Doohan, were also taken into space, a tribute to the man who had put science-fiction on the television map and given birth to a worldwide legend. http://www.startrek.com/legacy_media...02/320x240.jpg Ricardo Montalban, as Khan Noonien Singh, 1920-2009 Famous as the evil genius Khan from both TOS's “Space seed” and its “sequel”, as it were, the most successful Star Trek movie ever, Montalban epitomised the idea that a bad guy could be intelligent and outwit even a favourite star of a show when he outmanoeuvred Kirk in the second movie, and almost brought about his death, had it not been for the intervention, at the cost of his own life, of Spock. Khan is still seen as the number one Star Trek villain. Montalban died at the age of 89 of congestive heart failure. http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_5Pul9fFcCD...pher+Pike).jpg Jeffrey Hunter, as Captain Christopher Pike, 1926-1969 The original captain of the USS Enterprise, Hunter's shortcomings have been listed in detail in my review of that pilot episode so I will not go into them here. However it is sad perhaps to think that only four years after recording that doomed pilot Hunter was dead, having suffered a haemorrhage after falling on a flight of stairs. He was only forty-two. Honourable mentions also to: Jill Ireland (Leila, in TOS “This side of Paradise), died 1990. Susan Oliver (Vena, from the TOS pilot “The Cage”), died 1990. Persis Khambatta (Ilia, from Star Trek: The Motion Picture), died 1998. Jane Wyatt (Amanda Grayson, Sarek's wife in Star Trek IV), died 2006. Paul Winfield (Captain Terrell in Star Trek II), died 2004. Merritt Butrick (David Marcus, Star Trek II and III), died 1989. If there are other (and I'm sadly sure there are) actors who contributed to the series who have passed on, whom I have missed here, I offer my apologies but I did not want this to be a long, dour list, more a way of acknowledging those who made this series what it is. I hope I have not caused offence to anyone by omitting them, if so it was certainly not intended. And that's all there is, folks. Thanks for being with me through this interesting and not always logical month. Over the next few years my coverage of Star Trek will continue here, though of course it will just be confined to episode and film reviews: this was a one-off that will not be repeated. Thanks again and how else could I sign off? Peace, and long life. Live long, and prosper. http://djwong.org/exhibits/original/RWong77777/img5.jpg |
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I warned you! You thought I was kidding, didn't you? Just pulling your leg, huh? I'd never actually feature a reality show here? Me? Trollheart? The bane of the pander-to-the-lowest-common-denominator show? He who snarls, spits and fumes about shows like “X Factor”, “America's Next Top Model” and “Big Brother”? Yeah well, there are one or two --- only one or two mind --- of these type of shows that I can stand, even like, and this has always been one of them. Ever since I first caught it on late night reruns on BBC I was hooked, and quickly went about getting all previous seasons, then waiting with bated breath for the new one. When it emerged there was also a UK version I was delighted, and have been a fan of that ever since. Even my own country had a go, managing four seasons before they eventually decided it was not something they wanted to keep doing, or everyone lost interest, or the mogul at the centre of it lost his fortune, or whatever. But essentially, for four years anyway, there were three different versions of “The Apprentice” running at different times. Oh, probably more: I know there was an Australian and a New Zealand version (Hi Vanilla!) ;) but I never managed to track them down. There are probably others too, but the ones I'm concentrating on are the ones that I've seen, and they break down into three: the Irish, UK and original US versions, of which this is the first I'm looking at. As there were three concurrent shows running for a while, my intention is to do the same, for as long as they last. So here I'll have episode one of season one of the US show, followed by episode season one of the UK and then Ireland, before moving on to season two of each. Naturally, after four years the Irish one will fall away and we'll be left with just the two, but for now there'll be three running concurrently. These reviews, for those who care, will be slightly different to my normal format. Oh, there's be the usual “Trollhearting” for sure, but the actual review will be sectioned up. Because of the nature of the show, each article will begin with “The Task”, which will outline what the teams have to do and how they go about it. Then there'll be “The Boardroom”, wherein both teams, having completed the task, will return to Trump's office to have their performance evaluated, with “And then there were three” being the second Boardroom, ie when the losing team is called back in and someone is chosen to be fired. Not that there won't be subdivisions of these sections, of course; you know me by now! With all that in mind, let's go. Season One, Episode One: “Meet the billionaire” Sixteen hopefuls, supposedly the best American business has to offer, come to the imposing opulence of the Trump Tower to be introduced to Donald Trump, who will, at the end of this process, award one of them with a high-flying, high-paying job with one of his many companies. For fifteen of them, it will be the door out of the Boardroom and the taxi home, for one it will be the beginning of a life and a career that they could only dream about. But the candidates will, initially, have to learn to work together if they want to win each task. Split into two teams, they will compete and vie for the top prize, and each week one person in the losing team will be sent home. Each team picks a Project Manager (PM) who is responsible for the task, for getting people to work together, and for all decisions taken regarding that task, good or bad. If that team wins, the PM stands to be rewarded and praised, but if it fails, more often than not he or she will be in Trump's firing line. It doesn't necessarily follow that every time a task is lost the PM will get the bullet, but he or she will have to bring in two of their team whom they feel did not contribute well or even at all to the project, or who perhaps they believe or wish to impress upon Trump are in fact responsible for the loss. He or she will have to fight their corner though, as nobody is going to go down easily here, and two people brought in together may very well decide to gang up on what they may see as a weak PM, perhaps resulting in his or her being fired. Shadowing each team every week will be one of Trump's two closest advisors, George Ross and Carolyn Kepcher, who will observe how the teams work, what they do on the task (or don't do) and report back to the boss. Should someone make a claim that is untrue, whoever has been following them --- George or Carolyn --- may tell Trump they are lying, or that it did not quite happen that way, so there is not too much room for flim-flam or bullshit. Before they can be told their first task the teams have a look at where they're going to be staying for thirteen weeks, at the resplendent Trump Tower, and are told to choose a name. They have been split up already into men versus women, so the men choose Versacorp (what?) and the women Protege (well, makes a little more sense anyway). THE TASK The first task is, on the face of it, a simple, even childish one: to sell lemonade on the streets of New York City. Each team is given $250 seed money, with which they can buy what they need, and whoever makes the biggest profit at the end of the day will be declared the winner. The Project Managers are selected: for the men, Troy McClure, sorry McClain, and for the ladies Ereka Vetrini. I'll be going more into their details and qualifications later. In charge of the boys, Troy sets Kwame to suss out the location, as no matter what they do it is not going to matter if they choose a bad place to pitch. Using their charm and persuasion, the boys manage to get some items free --- cups, ice, a cart --- by promising to bring people to the establishments that have helped them out. All this helps, because the less they use of their seed capital, the more it will add to their profits but they need to be careful, as sometimes people doing this throughout the series have been undone by being too clever. By contrast, the girls seem to have little idea about what they want to do. Someone is shouting about getting a table, Ereka is talking about investing in the project, and Omarosa wants to split up the teams (probably the most sensible thing anyone has said in these early stages; the boys have already realised this is important). She has much to say about Ereka's leadership, or lack of it, none of it complimentary. While the boys are getting organised, the girls are still bickering and nothing seems to be getting done. They even seem not to know east from west, and end up in the wrong location! They are not impressed then when Tammy takes a break to go get some food, while they are all still out on the street trying to sell. She then has it out with the rest of the team, despite having had a pep talk from Omarosa only minutes before. The men, despite their better organisation, are faring as poorly. Trump, hovering above their location in his personal helicopter, is aghast to see they have chosen to sell (or try to) outside what he calls “a smelly fish market!” Unsurprisingly, they're not having much luck. They decide, perhaps a little late, to move. The girls begin to fare better when they break out the charm and some slight sexual innuendo, kissing guys, hugging them, promising them their phone numbers. Perhaps realising this, Sam has an idea and gets a girl off the street to start selling for them. Not sure if that's allowed. Bill and Troy have a mini-meeting where they admit this new location they've moved to is not much better. Sam's next idea, however, goes beyond bizarre. He tries to convince some guys to pay --- wait for it --- a thousand dollars for one cup of lemonade, promising them that if they do they will “experience the American Dream”. Where do they get these guys from? Taxi for Sam, methinks, as Carol looks on with a look half of bemusement and half of disbelief. To nobody's surprise, the guys decline to pay that. THE BOARDROOM The task is over, the two teams are back in Trump Tower the next morning to file into the Boardroom and see how they did. Unflatteringly, Trump tells them he's in a hurry – "I'm very busy today so we're going to go fast” --- and he is told by Carol that Versacorp doubled their money, while George announces that the ladies of Protege, despite their slow start and bickering, have pulled in over four times their seed capital. They are therefore the winners, and Trump is impressed. This is a very short, low-key version of the Boardroom. In future episodes and seasons, this will be dragged out a lot longer, as people are questioned on what they did or didn't do, called out on any mistakes or bad decisions, and the announcement as to who won is dragged out more. For a first episode, this is quite disappointing but in future thre will be real tension, fire and tears in the Boardroom, as well as metaphorical blood on the carpet. Return to the Boardroom Having lost the contest, Versacorp have to return to the Boardroom the next day. Before that, they each give their opinion to the camera on how and why the task failed. Not surprisingly, nobody blames themselves. Even Kwame, who chose the disastrous location, glosses over this and just says they did everything they could. It's clear he doesn't see himself as at fault, though Trump (and indeed his PM) is likely to take a far different view. As it happens, in the Boardroom it's first David, then Jason who come under fire. David makes the mistake of telling Trump “selling is not my forte.” Um, what are you doing here then? Jason's crime is far more serious: he's rude when Trump interrupts him, and the big man does not like that, and says so. But as it always will, it comes back to the PM, who is put on the spot about the decisions he made, the way he delegated and why, ultimately, the task failed. Carol basically drops to her knees and sucks Trump's knob (not really, that would make great TV though wouldn't it?) when she says she is not a fan of Troy's management style and Trump suggests she is calling him a selective leader. She clicks her fingers and smiles and says “He's a selective leader.” Christ! However when Trump asks the boys who was the weakest member of the team, they are all but unanimous in throwing Sam (remember him? He of the “thousand dollars for a cup of lemonade” stunt?) under the bus. Sam fights back by saying David is the worst choice for leader, but when Troy is asked who is coming back with him into the Boardroom, surprise surprise! It's Sam. And David. Behind the Boardroom Door This is a mostly short piece where I let you know what the two advisors have to say to Trump about the remaining three candidates. Sometimes their opinion can point you in the direction of seeing who is likely to get fired, sometimes not. Trump listens to them, respects them, but he always has the final say and will often go completely against their advice. George thinks Sam is “a risk taker”. He likes him, while Carol admits that when Trump asked the other candidates, including David, if Sam “crossed the line” legally, and David certainly said he did, she believes he did not. That is surely going to count against David. Carol also thinks that Troy is an “inconsistent leader”, though in fairness this is nothing new: she said as much in the Boardroom when he was there. And then there were three... The second part of “Return to the Boardroom" is when those who have managed, by dint of hard work, alliances or just pure luck to escape for another week are allowed to go back to the suite and the PM plus his two chosen candidates face Trump to see who will end up being fired. So this first week we have Troy, David and Sam. Sam is already skating on very thin ice, having been virtually disowned by all of his teammates, but David hasn't exactly covered himself in glory either. Mind you, there's always danger for the PM, because it is technically with him that the buck stops and he is always in the firing line. Asked why he brought David back in (it's obvious why Sam is here) Troy says that he thinks David “would make a great right-hand man”, but not a leader. But when he is asked if he would trust Sam with his bank account, and admits he would not, Sam is incensed. He says this indicates that Troy is calling him dishonest; David tries to play peacemaker. Silly really: if these two start going at it he could be in the clear. But in the event, though Trump tells Troy he did a “lousy job as a leader”, he admits he has potential and is also impressed that he had the stones to stand up on task one, so he is told he will be remaining in the process. One down. Trump calls Sam “a wild man” and tells him he needs to be careful, which surely gives a hint that he may, despite all the negativity from his comrades earlier, be about to give the guy another chance. Turning to David, he admits he is unimpressed that this particular candidate admitted he would not be a good leader, a fatal mistake when talking to the Big T. It proves his undoing: that and his virtual invisibilty on the task, and David becomes the first candidate to be fired from the process. Sam, somewhat relieved, actually bows to all three as they leave! Oops! Entranced by a crowd of dogs being walked (and probably hoping to ingratiate herself with their owners) Heidi goes to pet one, which does not take kindly to the sudden attention and barks and jumps at her. Open mouth, insert foot The best of the best? You wouldn't know it, from some of the things these candidates say. Here I'll be pointing out what are perhaps the stupidest comments made by candidates, from one fine pair of girls in a later season who ask in consternation “What century are we living in?” to another luckless guy who talks about being “White trash”. Oh dear. Anyway, this week's one goes to Tammy, who earlier complained bitterly about her feet hurting, not surprising as she was wearing pretty high heels! She goes one better here though. On being conducted around Trump's lavisher-than-lavish apartment and meeting his girlfriend, she asks her “How do you clean a place like this?” Yeah, sure: Trump's lady does her own cleaning! :rolleyes: What an idiot! Mind you, Heidi isn't much more tactful when she tells her “You're very very lucky” and she, with a smile of ice, returns “And he isn't lucky?” Arrrggghh! There's also Jason who, in the crucible of the Boardroom, and before he knows whether or not he's being called back in, asks Trump not to interrupt him, resulting in this rebuke from his potential new employer: “When you're trying to be chosen by someone, you don't say let me finish!” Thoughts in the cab Each person fired gets their chance to make some final comments on the ride away from Trump Tower. Quite often it's a frank admission that they weren't good enough, sometimes it's a belief that Trump was wrong to fire them but it can also be an opportunity for cheap shots at those left in the process, especially if there are any feuds or rivalries to be addressed. David: “My experience in the suite was okay. Too quick of a time interval to fully judge it. I thought Sam's song and dance routine was absolutely ludicrous. Trump acknowledged that Sam might be a disaster; I think that's probably the pretty likely outcome. I also have the higher IQ than all the other contestants, which just goes to show you that there's little correlation between high IQ and lemonade sales!” Our man David is here having a go at the other contestants. He basically says he is smarter than them all, then goes on to sigh that you apparently you don't have to necessarily be intelligent to work on these tasks. Translation: I was too brainy for this job and I realise now I would have been wasting my talents. Easy to say, of course, when you're sitting back in the taxi on the ride back to the airport... Weeding out the weaklings As the weeks go on, it gets easier to see who is going to thrive and who is likely to fall by the wayside. Sometimes there are clues to this from the start, sometimes people's weaknesses will only become apparent later in the process. Here I'll be singling out the ones I consider weak and seeing how long they last. Admittedly, I've seen the show and know how it ends, but it was years ago and though I remember the overall winner I couldn't tell you how the rest did. Versacorp Sam: With his unorthodox approach to business (a thousand dollars for a cup of coffee? Trump will be SO impressed! Yes, he would, if you had cornered some celebrity and convinced them, Sam, but an ordinary guy in the street and you think he's gonna hand over that sort of cash to someone he doesn't even know? Get real man!) and his idiosyncrasies (crawling around outside the Boardroom, unexpectedly standing up in the Boardroom) he's a loose cannon who looks like one of his shots are going to go way off-target and send him out the door, and sooner rather than later. David: Well David was the first to go, but he was always an early candidate for firing. He did little on the task, did not stand out to his teammates (a sure way of drawing blame down upon yourself --- “I didn't see where you contributed to the task” etc ) and basically did not seem to make any friends. He seemed full of himself but on the task had no idea how to sell (as he admitted to Trump), his ideas being to pursue and badger people (one guy was on a bike and he basically chased him and blocked him off; the guy could have crashed!) until he got someone to take notice. Nobody did. David was never going to last. Jason: He's something of a late entry to this section. I didn't see him do much, but he certainly distinguished --- if that's the appropriate word --- himself in the Boardroom when Trump questioned him about leadership and seemed unhappy with the answers. Depending on how he does on the next task, Jason could be another early exit. Protege To be honest, none of the girls have really stood out in the way the guys did, but I see one person edging towards the door... Tammy: Had Protege lost I feel she would have been definitely coming back into the Boardroom. From her unscheduled and unsanctioned lunch break to her complaints about her feet, her mini-flare-up with her colleagues and her foot-in-mouth at Trump' apartment, I think Tammy needs to step it up if she wants to remain. From the beginning, she has displayed a cold, almost haughty disinterest in her teammates. She was incredulous in the first scenes when she saw everyone “making non-verbal contact” (smiles, nods) and sneered “The only person I need to be friendly with is Trump!” Not so. If you alienate yourself from your team you can expect to find yourself in the hot seat, and Trump has a history of seeing a weak link and breaking it. |
May the best team win?
Sometimes you can tell who's going to win, sometimes it's up in the air. A simple mistake, a few dollars or a bad decision can change what should have been a winning team into the one who returns to the Boardroom to face Trump. Here I'll pore over whether the team that won should have, in my opinion, if I could have predicted they would win and if they deserved to. Protege: No fucking way. From the total chaos and disorganisation they displayed from the very start, right from picking their name to finding their location, I could not have believed the women would win. They bickered, they argued, they got lost; while the guys were out selling they were still buying their ingredients. But they picked a good location and, in the end, as even George admitted, who would you rather buy a lemonade from? So in my opinion Protege won this one pretty much on the twin tenets of using their sexuality to sell and the fact that the men picked a terrible location and basically let them win. Take me to your leader In this section I'll look at whether the leader of each team did a good job, should have been in charge, or whether they made a mistake in stepping up and in so doing, in the losing team, threw the task. Protege/Ereka To be honest, though they won Ereka had little to do with their victory. She seemed a very unsure leader, unwilling to make decisions and happy to be led by others. In fact, Omarosa stepped up as far as I can see and took over in all but name the Project Management of the task, and it is probably more due to her “shadow leadership” that they came in winners. Versacorp/Troy I didn't see Troy as a bad leader. I actually thought he delegated well, and was surprised to see that he did not bring Kwame back in to the Boardroom. After all, it was the location that let them down and Kwame was tasked with sorting that out. Troy I found to be very personable, a good talker, a friendly guy who sold easily, didn't buckle under pressure and was prepared to listen to others like Bill when things were not going well. I really thought his team was going to win. The Front Runners Sure, at this point it's hard to separate the wheat from the chaff, but as time goes on the cream will rise to the top (sorry for the mixed metaphors) and it will be easy to see who is going to be in the latter stages and who will be going home. Troy I feel has a good chance of making it. I liked his leadership style. He's a good listener and peopel seem to like him, plus that “country boy” charm is going to take him far. Bill, though he hasn't stood out too much, was the one who conferred with Troy about how the location didn't seem to be working, and took an active role as a kind of sub-leader at times. I see him doing well, though again, one slip and he could be gone. Omarosa seems to have good leadership qualities and I could see her going far, though she does display a certain sense of arrogance that may rub her teammates up the wrong way and scupper her chances. You're Fired! Here I'll be looking at the candidate who was fired, telling you what I know or can find out about them, and referring to anything they did in the task(s) on which they worked before being shown the door. David Gould Age: 34 City: New York Occupation: Venture capitalist David is a doctor but says to his teammates “What can I do with an MD? Treat patients? I want more.” So after managing to insult and alienate everyone in that profession, he then tells us he went on to Harvard to get an MBA and now works as a venture capitalist in the field of medicine. Perhaps he feels the first task was beneath his selling skills, but hey, if you can't sell bloody lemonade how can you sell companies and mergers? Anyway there's not a whole lot I can write about him as we did not get to meet him for long, but he was always a candidate to be fired, given his lack of fire, drive and really interest in the task. Sight adjustment? Although he says he always decides with his head, sometimes Trump will allow his heart to rule his decisions. If he sees something in the candidate that perhaps nobody else sees, especially if he says he sees something of himself in them, he may allow them a pass. Similarly, if they have done well up to then but just let themselves down this week, he may decide not to fire them. Sometimes I agree with these “stays of execution”, sometimes not. Here is where I'll examine whether the candidate who was fired deserved to be, whether Trump made, in my opinion, the right decision, or whether someone else escaped who should really have been walking out the door. In the context of the losing team (as this will always be; Trump has no power over who wins or loses and it's only in the losing team --- with one or two really big exceptions --- that he can fire anyone) there was only really ever going to be two possibilities, and both of them came back with Troy. I don't feel Troy was in that much danger; he led the team well and did his best, and it was after all the first task. It will be rare that Trump will fire the PM on the first task, as he admires those who have the courage to stand up so early, so unless they do a really lousy job --- and even here, where he tells Troy that he did, though I disagree --- they're usually not automatically in the firing line. But one thing he does not like is what Alan Sugar will later call “hiding in the long grass”, which is a tactic adopted by many candidates, as they hang back and wait for some of the weaker ones to be picked off, keeping themselves safe and avoid the Boardroom. He can usually see through this though, and will call out anyone he thinks is flying under the radar, letting them know they had better step up or they will be in trouble. David was one such I feel: he didn't do much and what he did was pretty ineffectual. Sam could have gone too, but his eccentricity and I guess his passion seemed to chime with Trump, and even if the things he did were a bit mad and out of the box, at least he tried, so I would say really, the decision was almost a foregone conclusion and here Trump made the right one. Adjustment required: 0% The one that got away? Even in a winning team there may be those who escaped by the skin of their teeth, the sort of person whom you know, had their team lost, would have been in the hot seat. Of course, there are “the ones that got away” in the losing team also: only three members in total can be called back in, one of which is the PM, so in the ones that remain, is it possible someone has dodged a bullet? Kwame: A definite lucky escape for the man who chose the location for Versacorp. The opening segment for the task was titled “Location, location, location”, and he picked the wrong one, something even picked up on by Trump as he overflew the area, and again remarked upon in the Boardroom. In fact, I'm unsure why Troy did not call him back in with David, apart from perhaps the fact that he had something personal against Sam and most of the team had identified him as being the weak link, so it might perhaps have looked strange if he had not been brought back in. But Kwame was definitely a contender to be going home. Tammy: Did nothing but complain, went for a lunch that nobody else took, fought with her teammates and seemed to do little selling. Got on the wrong side of Omarosa and seemed more concerned with herself than the team. Had Protege lost, she would almost certainly have been liable to be kicked out the door. Ch-ch-ch-changes In the first season Trump speaks relatively calmly, but whether he was asked or advised to change that, or decided to do so himself, from season two onwards he shouts at us as if we were deaf. I preferred the old Trump. Trump talks about a choice for the candidates: "We have", he says, "two elevators. One goes up to the suite and one goes down to the street." The idea of the “Suite or the street” was quickly dropped too. As the series wound on, the Boardroom sections got longer and more involved, with a lot more drama. Here, they're short and more or less functional. |
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