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I've been here some time now. I tend to come and go, moving from place to place.
I never felt as if I truly belonged in any one place, in any one pursuit.
I move from person from person, friend to friend.
Those that I once considered friends, I grew apart from, I grew tired of, I grew to resent.
I grew to resent a lot of things, perhaps this is reflected in my music tastes.

I look at the albums I owned in younger years, I resent them.
I resent the mere memory that I once thought said albums may be the epitome of all that was good taste within music.
Some may label a scenester, a hipster. That I just move towards liking what's trendy, what's cool at this present moment.
When others have caught up, I turn my back on it. I denounce it.
It's no longer the artwork I touted it as being.

I don't believe this is who I am, in fact I know it isn't.
But, I wouldn't expect others to know that. It is true that I turn off music when others begin to show interest in it.
I'm sure there are those of you who can empathise with me.
When you hear a particular brand of music, an album, a song that sparks something inside of you. That feeling is yours. Yours alone.

Nobody has ever told me what to like, if they have I'll almost certainly turn against it.
I don't go out of my way to be against the norm, to be different.
It subconsciously has always been the case. To antagonise others with my refusal to follow the norm.

Therefore to reiterate an earlier point, when I have a piece of music in my possession, in my mind. It's mine. My feeling. In my mind, unique to me.
When I see another person touting that particular artist/album/music that I turned them onto, I'm happy that someone else can share the experience with me.
When the masses tune in, when the majority try to identify with the very essence of what I felt, it's no longer mine.

These people don't understand me, we are not like-minds.
There are very few intellectually compatible people on this earth I believe.
The human mind has evolved to a stage where I don't believe we should all feel the same way. The majority should not hold a mutual feeling, a mutual admiration for something so special as what certain pieces of music provoke inside an individual.

Perhaps this is why I seek to evolve, to move onto what's next.
Not just in music, in life.
If you're reading this, you don't know me. You have no idea about who I am in real life.
I could be living vicariously through an internet gimmick.
A figment of my own imagination which I portray as myself, therefore I'm not going to shower this thread with information about myself.

Nor am I here to lazily post YouTube videos and say
'yeah good song' 'check out their debut'
I'm here to tell a story, to talk about music, to really talk about music. And my feelings towards other subjects.

This is a music forum. I appreciate 50% of the websites title is made up the colloquial term 'Banter', but is this website really a 50/50 split of the two.
Or do we have many members whose sole purpose here is to be the class clown.
The guy first with the lame pun or attempt at humour, last with substantial input or thought.
Is this site true on its offer of providing music related discussion.
I don't think so. This journal is where it evolves into that.

Now, I can't promise I'll update every day, I don't have the insatiable appetite for blog writing that Trollheart has. I appreciate the effort he puts into his work and although I have never held conversation with him, he epitomises the attitude and efforts many more of you need to make, myself included to help this website evolve into everything it can be.
I will update this journal when I feel I have something that needs to be said.
Something that needs to be shared.

I shall leave it at that for the time being, hit me up, block me, write a meaningless post about me in the Spill My Guts thread, I don't give a ****.

Regards

MC