Trollheart

Get! Get! Go on, out of my journal, and take your jazzy feud with ye!

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The Batlord

Stop using stock photos with watermarks, you jackass!

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Frownland

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

Trollheart

No.

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Trollheart

Artiste: Steve Rothery
Nationality: British
Album: The Ghosts of Pripyat
Year: 2014
Label: Inside Out
Genre: Progressive Rock
Tracks:
Morpheus
Kendris
Old man of the sea
White pass
Yesterday's hero
Summer's end
The ghosts of Pripyat
Chronological position: Debut solo album
Rank: As far as Rothery is concerned, Noob, but I've followed all his work with Marillion since day one.
Comments: I love Steve Rothery but this could be a tough ask, as I have a feeling it will be all guitar instrumental. First track certainly is. Apparently he's helped out on this by Steve Hackett, and no doubt any guitarist would hear this, but I don't. Decent tune, naturally very Marillion but not too much so. There's an extra Steve on “Old man of the sea” as Steven Wilson joins him, and it's good to hear some keyboards now too. For an almost twelve-minute instrumental this is pretty fine, and doesn't stretch or drag at all. Sort of church organ in “White pass”, which is nice. “Yesterday's hero” though borrows way too heavily from the closing sections of “Shine on you crazy diamond part VI-IX” then “Summer's end” is a beautifully laidback little piece, very evocative of those lazy days lying under the sun and looking up at the sky with nothing particular to do. Gets quite rocky later on with some killing organ. A really impressive debut, though of course it's not a debut: Rothery has been making music with Marillion and amassing fans for over thirty years now, but as a solo effort, without the security of his longterm bandmates behind him, this is utterly enthralling and shows that Steve can very easily stand on his own, even if occasionally supported by other giants of the prog world. He's not standing on their shoulders, nor they on his: they're standing back to back and presenting a truly remarkable body of work.
Intention: n/a

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Trollheart

Well would you look at what I found hiding down on page 9 when I went looking for the Classic Albums journal? All lonely and cold, and thinking it had been forgotten about. Which it had. Been half a decade since I did any work on this, too, so perhaps time to shoot 10,000 volts into it and - what? That would kill it, you say? Well maybe just a bucket of cold water...

Even better, I found out that I've written a fistful of reviews for this already, way back in 2017, which I haven't yet posted, so there's a ready-made body of work waiting to be unleashed.

Let's do some unleashing.

Note: Cookie rating (Bitesize, y'see? No? Sod ya then) has been moved to the end of the review now, whereas before it was always before it. I feel this obviously gave the game away; you could see before you even read the review how I felt about the album. Now you'll have to wait.

Note on colour codes:
Red = Truly hated this track. Nothing to redeem it. Would not listen to it again.
White = Characterised as Meh in the thread, this can be a song which either I was not very impressed with but did not quite hate, or that I have not yet made my mind up about. It can also be one that made so little impression on me that I can't really say whether it was any good or not.
Orange = A track I liked but did not love
Green = A track I loved
Blue = A track I am absolutely wild about.



Artist: Secret Saucer
Nationality: British
Album: Element 115
Year: 2005
Label: Dead Earnest
Genre: Space Rock/Progressive Rock
Tracks:
Star rise
Sword of Conneaut
Solar winds
STS-107
Atom smasher
The Traveller
Duul
Desert of existence
Astral progeny
Looking skyward
AMBQSM
Beyond time
Chronological position: Debut album
Familiarity: Zero
Initial impression: Oh great. Another instrumental album.
Comments: It's pretty damn cool, but I went out of my way not to get another post-rock album, and while this isn't that, it's all bloody instrumental. D'oh! Good instrumental, though. D'oh. I imagine this would be very good music to trip to, but for me it's just relaxing and soothing. Can't say much more than that. Maybe I don't need to. Solid.
Hum Factor: 0
Intention: I wouldn't be rushing to hear more, but I wouldn't say I would not check out further albums either.

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Trollheart

And here's one I just wrote in the last half-hour.



Artist: James Taylor
Nationality: American
Album: Before this World
Year: 2015
Label: Concord
Genre: Soft rock/ Folk
Tracks:
Today Today Today
You and I Again
Angels of Fenway
Stretch of the Highway
Montana
Watchin’ Over Me
Snowtime
Before this World/Jolly Summertime
Far Afghanistan
Wild Mountain Thyme

Chronological position: Nineteenth album
Familiarity: We all know the hits, don’t we?
Initial impression: Nice laid-back country feel to this. The fiddle is cool.
Comments: Okay, I’m not exactly expecting to be blown away by this, but then who would? James Taylor is famous for making laid-back, relaxing, gentle songs like “Fire and Rain”, “How Sweet it is to Be Loved By You” and of course “You’ve Got a Friend”, so slow and easy, laconic and peaceful is the order of the day. Nice little country/folk ditty in “Today Today”, while “You and I Again” slows things down from the not-exactly-frenetic pace into a ballad which puts me in mind of Barry Manilow, pretty much piano-driven and very nice.

Right. For some reason everyone who’s put this on the ‘Tube has fucked up the track order, so I’m fed up trying to find one with the right listing order, and am just going to talk about the tracks as they play. They probably won’t correspond to the above track list, so my advice is to suck it. File under, I don’t have time for this shit. “Montana” is another journeyman song, very much the West Coast feel to it, reminds me a little of Harry Chapin, sweet sort of waltzy feel that also has touches of Nanci Griffith in it, while “Angels of Fenway” takes my favourite subject as its theme, baseball. Fuck baseball. Yeah I don’t care if you’re offended; I hate the bloody sport. Sort of a pseudo-gospel chorus with a Paul Simon-like verse, like something off Gracelands.

Soft little acoustic thing for the title track, but I would have to admit it’s a little boring and dreary for my tastes. The violin adds some energy to it, but not much. Segues then into the second part of the song called “Jolly Springtime”, which is like some sort of traditional folk thing. Yeah don’t much like that either. You know, Sting is supposed to be on that but I’ll be damned if I can hear him. Look, sure, you have to give Taylor credit for coming out with an album of original material after twenty years, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to go easy on him if it’s shit. This started well but it’s boring me now. Needs to get better. “Watchin’ Over Me” has a bit more oomph about it, but I’m not convinced. Meh.

“Stretch of the Highway” really pisses me off, with its bloody brass and its semi-soul-jazz-big band-whatever-the-fuck-it-is tune, and Christ in a pimped-out rig transporting illegal drugs across the border, it’s the longest fucking song, at over five and a half minutes! Feels like fifteen! God damn it. It better improve from here, cos now I’m starting to hate when up to now I was just shrugging. Right well “Far Afghanistan” just hammers home the point of a man who is long past his prime trying to remain relevant. I mean, Neil Young did this, but so much better and with more conviction. It’s not a terrible song, but the self-effacement in it is pretty annoying. Oh well, only two tracks left to go. This has not been a pleasant ride and I’m ready to get out. Hell, I’ll walk the rest of the way thanks. No I’m quite aware it’s dark and raining, and that this is the bad side of town. It’s still preferable to remaining with you and listening to this old guy croon and try to convince himself, and us, that he’s still a force to be reckoned with.

I’m afraid - and I’m sure I’m in the minority here, as this went to number one in the States - I hear this as an old guy trying to recapture the glory days of his stardom, and failing pretty poorly. I mean, I don’t want to put the guy down, but this just ain’t speaking to me. I guess if he’s happy with it, and the fans are, then cool. Nobody’s going to care what I think. Anyway, here’s what I think - hey! Where are you all going? Come back!
Hum Factor: 1
Intention: This has really turned me off the guy. Doubt I'll bother ever listening to more albums by him.

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Trollheart

And another, hot off the presses.


Artist: Europe
Nationality: Swedish
Album: War of Kings
Year: 2015
Label: UDR
Genre: Melodic Rock/AOR
Tracks:
War of Kings
Hole in My Pocket
The Second Day
Praise You
Nothin’ to Ya
California 405
Days of Rock’n’Roll
Children of the Mind
Rainbow Bridge
Angels (With Broken Hearts)
Light it up

Chronological position: Tenth album
Familiarity: I’m aware of their work
Initial impression: Uh, yeah....
Comments: One thing has become clear to me about Europe, and I think I said it before, but it bears repeating. From at least the bulk of what I’ve heard from them to date, they come across to me as a mediocre, third-rate wannabe AOR/Melodic Rock band who desperately want to be Guns’n’Roses, Bon Jovi, Poison or some other American rock band, and who struck it lucky with one chart-busting song, on which they’ve been dining out since 1986. Witness their entire lack of chart success since the album The Final Countdown, and yet they’ve still sold over ten million albums.

Normally, I don’t really rate chart success as a barometer of a band’s quality - so many artists who have big hits don’t appeal to me, and often seem to rely so much on their singles that they surround them on the album with inferior tracks. So, having bought The Final Countdown and really thought, meh, I wanted to see if there was more to them than one flash-in-the-pan album, so I downloaded their discography and I really have to say that I’ve been disappointed - very disappointed - so far in how, well, ordinary they are. I listen to their songs and it’s like anyone could have written and played that. It could be any band. Which makes me piss myself laughing at the claim of their new label, UDR that “Europe represent the finest in supremely written hard rock music”. Right. Whatever you’re on, Ms. Rudolph, I want some! To be fair, the one shining light in the dark tunnel into which I plunged when I decided to listen to their music was 2012’s Bag of Bones, which was a really pleasant surprise. Loved that album. But was, and is, it the exception to the rule? Let's give them another shot and see.

Well, from the off it sounds like Mr. Tempest is trying to be Mr. Dio, which is never going to work. The music is heavier, true, and Joey has a good rock/metal voice, no denying that, but he’s no RJD. To be fair though, it’s not a bad start. Could be worse. Gets pretty standard rock for the next track, tries to be more than it is but comes across a little toothless to me. “The Second Day” again sounds to me like they’re pillaging the Dio songbook, which smacks of kids wearing their parents’ clothes or something. Not that I’m saying Europe can’t play or write, but they really should stick to what they do best, and not try to ape their masters. Again, to be fair, it’s not a bad song, but is it a great song? Oh no, not even close.

“Praise You” is, you’ll probably be relieved to hear, not a cover of the Fatboy Slim hit, but is in fact a sort of nod back to the seventies psych/hard rock era in tone, built on something of an almost proggy organ line, and it’s quite the slowburner. Has some touches of Gary Moore blues about it, circa Still Got the Blues/Wild Frontier. In fact, the guitar riff reminds me of his song “Midnight Blues”, though I’ll probably find out it’s not his. No, I checked and it is. Well, “Nothin’ to Ya” has some energy all right, but again there’s a lurking seventies feel to it. Some decent keyboards.

The problem, which is one endemic to Europe as I see it, is that there’s really nothing new here. Songs come, songs go - some are better than others, some are mediocre, but nothing so far anyway has yet stood out to me and made me want to really listen. It’s not like with the previous album, which really grabbed my attention, the more so because I had expected so little from Europe. This, on the other hand, is realising those low expectations mostly. The Hum Factor is low, as there is nothing here that I will remember once the album is over. “Days of Rock’n’Roll”, despite the cringeworthy title, is probably the best track here so far, rocking (as you might expect) like a good thing, but then we’re back riding Dio’s coat-tails for “Children of the Mind” while “Rainbow Bridge” is just, well, awful, and tries to rob the riff from Terence Trent D’Arby’s “Sign Your Name” or maybe George Michael’s “Father Figure.” Uh-huh. And that leaves us with the closing ballad, “Angels (With Broken Hearts)”, which turns everything around and ends the album in class style, but unfortunately one decent song can’t save a very substandard album.

Oh, it doesn't. There's another song I didn't notice. "Light it up" does NOT do what it says on the tin. They shouldn't have bothered. At least they looked like they were ending well, then they went and ruined it all. Idiots.

Hum Factor: 3
Intention: I kind of still want to believe Europe have one more decent album left in them. This, however, ain’t it.

https://i.postimg.cc/6qcM1C5J/cookierating2andhalf.jpg

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