WWWP

I’m hesitant to spend much time discussing the following two bands because they’re both well-known on the boards and elsewhere, so I’ll focus my attention on particular albums and tracks. I’m also going to split this into two entries to avoid too much text in one post for those of you with short attention spans (assuming, of course, this is being read by anyone).

Last Three Months Theme - Entry Three A: Someone, Oh Anyone, Tell Me How to Stop This

5. The Antlers


Hospice is one of two albums two which I’ve felt an immense emotional and personal attachment. In its beauty I find great amounts of comfort, but in its depths are sparked equally great stabs of pain remembered. Listening to this album is tumultuous for me and because of what it brings up for me it is not always particularly enjoyable – and perhaps it’s the masochist in me – but I find myself returning to it again and again.

I often wonder what it will be like to watch my father die. I’d be watching from a distance, of course, I don’t mean to imply that I’d have anything to do with how or when it happens – if it’s sudden there are thousands of miles of separation between us already, but if it’s a long-term process due to illness or what have you I won’t be at his bedside. I’ll maintain that distance just as aggressively as I do now. After recently unwillingly surviving a suicide attempt I’ve been spending a lot of time pondering the origins of my disease, and as my father was my abuser and the gardener that both planted and nourished the suicidal seed in the stem of me, I can’t even pretend that I would mourn him. It would not be a loss, he would not be missed. I find myself contented by the thought – his ability to ever harm another person being ripped from him in the solidity of death.

When I listen to Hospice, an elegant and wholeheartedly devastating album that narrates the relationship between a terminally ill, previously abused patient and a hospice worker, I find I place myself as both the victim and the caretaker depending on which ideas of myself dominate my thoughts at a given time. Typical of the codependent behavior that arises from abusive relationships, sometimes I’m the one with my head in the oven, and sometimes I’m the one telling my father to take his out (Sylvia). Sometimes the lyrics “And as it opened I could hear you howling from your room/ but I hid out in the hall until the hurricane blew” mean I’m hiding from my father’s anger, and sometimes it means I see and hear the pain he’s suffering himself (Two). By the end of the album, no matter what amount of sympathy I’ve felt toward myself or my father, the refrain “Don’t ever let anyone tell you you deserve that (Wake)” brings me back to the present moment, in which I am alleviated from the guilt I feel for abandoning my father in his illness, validated for having suffered what I’ve suffered, and empowered by having stood up for myself in the act of running away.

This is not what the album is about. But this is what the album is about for me.

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WWWP

Thank you! I hope if you watched the entire shaker video you didn't think I was serious though.... hahaha.

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Astronomer

Haha, I did watch the entire shaker video, your frivolity is why I loved it! Anyway keep up the beautiful covers also

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WWWP

6. Belle and Sebastian


The first time I heard Belle and Sebastian it was on a mixtape (with a drawing of a cat on it) given to me on a first date – the ultimate form of hipster flirting, amiright? The track the guy included was “If You’re Feeling Sinister” from the album with the same name. Upon first listen, I didn’t like it at all. It was not something I would have expected the dude to include – he was punkish in appearance, adorned in denim vests with Black Flag patches and wore a large, full, angry, red beard. “What is this,” I remember asking myself. “Wistful pop is definitely not my thing.” By the first chorus, during which are sung the words “if you are feeling sinister go off and see a minister,” I skipped the track. “Oh great,” I thought. “He’s a bible thumper.”

I abandoned the mixtape, having found only one track out of twenty listenable. Soon after, I stopped seeing the guy, for reasons apart from having received an underwhelming mixtape, and I shoved the cd into my case and it was more or less forgotten about. Aside from this, all I knew of Belle and Sebastian was the slight controversy regarding their relationship with Aidan Moffat and their use of "arab strap" in both a song title and album name. I fucking love Arab Strap and that hairy troll of a man, so I was a bit turned off from the start.

A handful of months ago, however, I attended an album-trade party hosted by a good friend, and she tried to trade me Belle and Sebastian’s The Life Pursuit for my copy of Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. I refused, remarking that Belle and Sebastian weren’t my style. “Really?” she asked. “I would have guessed they were right up your alley.” I told her about my limited exposure to them and she insisted I try listening again – she didn’t make me give up my Flaming Lips album, instead we ended up trading a Simon and Garfunkel for a Tom Waits. As I was leaving the party, she looked at me very seriously and said “Listen, give Life Pursuit a shot. If I could embody a track it would be ‘Dress Up In You.’ Seriously, the album is great.” I believed her, she had never steered me wrong musically.

Upon my arrival home I spotify-ed the track and was immediately enveloped in the beauty of it. The subtlety of the bass line, the perfect use of horns, the attention-grabbing harmonies, the relatable and honest lyrics – I was enamored. It became the anthem I sang to myself in memory of friends I’ve had in years past who, from early ages, ensured their life success simply in their essences. There are people who you just know will make it – no matter which road they take, they’ll end up somewhere that works for them and is somehow always perfect and enviable. I’ve never felt like that, I’ve never been like that. I’m just not that person, but I have a fondness for finding those that fit the description and doing what I can to ensure they realize their own potential.


After drowning myself in The Life Pursuit I pulled out the old mixtape with the drawing of a cat on it and gave it a second chance. It was then that I realized I had missed the second half of the chorus of “If You’re Feeling Sinister” –


- and realized I had entirely missed the point of the song, and entirely missed out on such a great band for all of those months. Wistful pop is absolutely my thing. I was an asshole for thinking I was above it. Lesson learned, I suppose.

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WWWP

Last Three Months Theme - Entry Five: Which Wolf Do You Feed?

7. Casiotone For the Painfully Alone


I was driving through Half Moon Bay on my way home from Santa Cruz on an uncharacteristically dry, clear November day. I pulled off of Highway One at a lonely turnout on the coastline to sit and watch the sunset. I walked away from the road and closer to the water and climbed onto a boulder – a broken piece of the cliffs typical of Northern California beaches, and from atop my mountain I looked down over the sea and watched as the horizon disintegrated slowly into obscurity. I was reminded of a trait Kurt Vonnegut adopted from his uncle which he then shared in his book “A Man Without a Country.” His uncle, Kurt related, when doing something enjoyable such as sitting in the garden and sipping lemonade would often acknowledge and vocalize how nice the moment was – he wouldn’t let it pass by disregarded. Kurt then wrote, “I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, ‘If this isn’t nice, I don’t know what is.’” I have also adopted this habit, and sitting at the ocean as dusk set in I said the words quietly to myself.

There was nothing particularly special about the experience – I’ve seen dozens of sunsets at the beach and I’ve made the drive up the coastal highway dozens of times – but for whatever reason sitting alone at that moment I felt contented to my core. That feeling is what comes to mind when I listen to Casiotone for the Painfully Alone. The cheerful, cheap keyboards and fuzzy drum beats paired with earnest narrations and genuine lyrical confessions is something I find utterly lovely – and I’ve discovered no matter how many times I’ve heard it I can’t listen to a track without pausing to acknowledge its niceness. Bay Area native Owen Ashworth is the mastermind behind the lo-fi indietronica solo-project. His albums contain some of the most heart-wrenching songwriting I’ve heard, his lyrics at once playful, stoic, and desperately miserable. I suppose my use of the word “nice” may differ from the way it is construed by other people. This juxtaposition of niceness beside misery, pain paired with pleasure, sorrow communicated through cheerful melodies reminds me of a Cherokee legend.

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An old Grandfather said to his grandson, who came to him angry at a friend who he felt had done him an injustice, "Let me tell you a story...

“I too, at times, have felt a great resentment for those who have taken so much ,with no seeming sorrow or remorse for what they do. I have struggled with these feelings many times." He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me engaged in a challenging conflict.

"One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.”

He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. He does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him, and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.

“Sometimes, it is a challenge to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit. The same challenge is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

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As I go through therapy and engage with my own two wolves, I find the battle between light and dark to be more difficult than I had anticipated. Healing, in itself, is a process, and one which requires a great deal of effort and, indeed, a hunger for recovery.

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WWWP

I was referred to as a less manboy-ish Rob from High Fidelity earlier in this thread, and it’s almost worrisome to me the accuracy of that comparison. Almost.

I make playlists for everything. I make Top Five lists for everything (ironically, High Fidelity appears neither in my list of Top Five Books or Movies but is included in my list of Top Five Books Turned Into Movies). Seriously though, you could give me an aspect, any aspect, of everyday life and the probability is very high that I have a contextually relevant Top Five list for it already made or compiled in my head. I’m going to share some of these with you, and if any of you are curious about my Top Five anything I’d be glad to take requests on which lists I cover here. I’m going to start with a fun one.




5. Violent Femmes - Gimme the Car

How can I explain the deep down driving?

This song brings me back to my teenage years, in the best way. Back to times of experimentation and pure, hot, adolescent lust. Stumbling and fumbling, learning and enjoying. When I listen to this song I still smile, every time, and I will forever remember it as the soundtrack to my first make out session. Now, in my early twenties, I still put on this song when the, uh, time is right, and I'm able to relive all my teenage fantasies in a very... ahem... adult fashion. Yeah I'm blushing right now, shut up.

4. T. Rex - The Slider

God that guitar is just so sexy, listen to that, it's simply pulsating. Unf. I think I'm still worked up from writing about the last track. Jesus balls. The rhythm of this song is perfect for making out, the percussion is easy enough to uh, move along to, and the vocals are oozing with whispered euphemisms. Is it hot in in here? Windows need cracking.

3. The Jesus and Mary Chain – Sugar Ray

Did you feel my lips
Did they slide and slip
Did you feel my head
Shaking through your wrist?

What better song to make out to than one in which “all I want is you” is repeated? And the title of the track is such a great name for a cock, in my opinion. If I had a cock I would certainly name mine Sugar Ray. I need to stop oh my god I’m sorry everyone.

2. In Shades – Tom Waits

It is not uncommon for me to include Tom Waits in my Top Five lists, least of all any lists to do with anything even remotely sexual. This song is sexy as fuck, and there are no distracting words, and in fact what makes it super-hot is the little Tom Waits growl rasp about halfway through. If I was the type to dance I would dance to this song, and if I were the type to want to marry I would want to marry Tom Waits. Hit it and never quit it. Fo’ life.

1. Queens of the Stone Age – Skin On Skin

Why haven’t you kissed me yet?

Aaaaand, that’s it, ladies and gentlemen. My very favorite make out song. QOTSA are great and everything they do they do well, and that includes songs about fucking. It’s too easy to sample sex sounds in the background, it’s the subtleties in this song that do it for me. The sound of a zipper followed by tasteful heavy breathing and then the sound of a cigarette being lit at the end – it’s just wonderful. They do raunchy in the classiest fashion.


Get it on, friends. Enjoy yourselves: Download

EDIT:

Honorable Mention: The Stone Roses - Don't Stop

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Paedantic Basterd

ye-yeuh.

Mojo

What a load of crap this statement has turned out to be.

Conveying passion isn't easy, but there are many ways to do it. Sometimes people write extensively on a bands background, influences, history etc and even just the sheer extent to which they write, delving into the bands background, shows you how much passion they have for that artist. Informative writing is good. It can educate people on why they should like that band too, especially if what they write appeals to the interests of the reader.

What you do well, the way I see it, is you don't write this way as such, not extensively anyway. You are focused more on your own connections with music. You may still be hoping that other people will listen to the music you write about, but it doesn't seem the overriding factor in your decision to write here. It appears as if you are more focused on writing from your heart, and from that passion you have inside that you wish to share with other music lovers around here. I imagine you write just as much for yourself as you do your audience.

I like to read informative posts here, and I like to read your more standard review of a band or an album. Thing is though that while that is true, I can read that anywhere. I love to read something that enables to learn more about our users here, their background, their history, their personality, and most importantly the role music plays in their lives, the passion they have for it, and why they love what they love as much as they do.

You write about memories music brings back for you, whether they be happy or sad. You are sharing intimate parts of yourself with people who will hopefully want to read it and feel privileged to be afforded the opportunity to do so, and that you felt you could share some of these things with us. And to be honest with you, after reading through your entire journal, stories such as riding to meet your friends and discuss life and unload, feeling connected to your city and your surroundings, and especially your Antlers post, I feel you do this fantastically well.

So, I think my point, which I lost in there somewhere was - you're a liar.

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Last.FM | Echoes and Dust

WWWP

Thank you so much for this. This both made me tear up and grin until it hurt. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond, and thank you for affirming that what I'm doing isn't a waste of time. You made my day, friend.

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Trollheart

Yeah, I think considering how much you're loved here there was a significant jump in your view count once people realised you were posting again. I'd certainly agree with Mojo that you connect more personally with your favourite music than others, perhaps I, do, but you do it really well and you need have no fear that your words are going unread: I can imagine a queue to find out what you have to say next --- no pushing or shoving please I said no pushing or shoving!

One of the undiscovered gems of the journal world. Keep it up!

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018