Trollheart

Thanks for both of those snippets of information. I wasn't aware of either.
I recognise that it's a very popular album, and I also realise that just because it's not for me does not make it crap.It's kind of the same with Om. Mine is not the only barometer of taste, far from it, and while I have bashed Frownland's albums quite a lot this year (and there may be more to come) I do try to see the angle people are coming from when they rate these albums so high. It certainly wasn't torture or anything close to it, it just left me with very little to write about it as it's basically pretty much the same all the way through. Interesting concept though.

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Next up on Batty's list is this one

Deliverance --- Corrosion of Conformity --- 1994 (Sony)

You nevr know what you're gonna get with the mischevious jester of Music Banter, but this time it seems like maybe he's going easy on me, as this album is reported to be a move away from the thrash and even hardcore sound of Corrosion of Conformity's three previous ones, evincing a more straightforward metal style, and I'm told two of the tracks were even radio hits! Well, we'll see. It opens on “Heaven is not overflowing” --- surely as true a statement now as when it was written --- and there's a good hard biting guitar to kick us into a sort of boogie style, almost ZZ-worthy in ways. The vocal is rough but very understandable. Good punch to the song, then “Albatross” (not the Fleetwood Mac instrumental, I hasten to point out!) is one of those radio hits. Apparently. Sounds a bit heavy for the radio, but sure what do I know? Kind of a seventies hard rock feel to this.

The next one was also a hit, and “Clean my wounds” has a nice sort of semi-commercial idea about it, with a stuttering guitar and a sort of shouted chorus, but I'm more interested in the shorter “Without wings”, an instrumental which sounds like it rides on acoustic guitar and seems to have keyboards in it, though I don't see any credited. “Broken man” rocks everything back up with some serious guitar and what I think may be talkbox; really like this one. There's more than a hint of Aerosmith's “Walk this way” in “Señor Limpio”, while “Mano de mono” (what's with all the Spanish?) is a really nice little instrumental that definitely has piano in it and leads into a powerful grinder in “Seven days”. Another short instrumental and we're off again with “My grain”, which sort of fails to make any impression on me.

Not so with the title track, which has a nice dark feeling about it, sort of anthemic with a powerful vocal . Not mad about “Shake like you”, sort of reminds me of the experience I had with System of a Down in 2013. Urgh. Don't care for the sort of mechanised vocal here. It's a completely different story for “Shelter”, where they go all Country, even bringing in a pedal steel to complement the acoustic guitar. Like this a lot, and absolutely love the closer, “Pearls before swine”. Great strong finish to an album I'm really not sure if I like or not....

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Heaven's not overflowing
2. Albatross
3. Clean my wounds
4. Without wings
5. Broken man
6. Senor Limpio
7. Mano de mono
8. Seven days
9. #2121313
10. My grain
11. Deliverance
12. Shake like you
13. Shelter
14. Pearls before swine

It's okay Batty: I'll save you the trouble...

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Time to complete our journey through the dark, bleak but often terrifyingly beautiful landscapes drawn by those talented musicians who work in this specialised sphere of heavy metal, and our travels don't take us too far, just north across the border to Canada, where a band called Gris reside. They've been around since 2006, and released three albums, of which this is the second. They appear to speak in French, so there may be some small chance of translating some of their lyrics, though don't expect miracles. I can tell you that the title of the album seems to work out as something pretty mundane: it's a forest.

Il était une forêt... --- Gris --- 2007 (Sepulchral Productions)

Again, the only way I can get this is on YouTube (Gris is a German rapper, apparently ) but at least the person who put it up has included running times. Lovely dark atmospheric opening to the title track, then a howling, bawling voice as Icare, who also does piano, violin and drums, comes into the track, but surely that's not any sort of lyric yet? Lets look at them and see if we can figure out what they're singing about. Okay, he's singing now, with some really nice keyboard backing, but the basic idea I can get from the lyric is of a dark forest, possibly older than humanity. I don't think the writing is that deep. The music is great though, and Icare does a good job of screaming out perhaps the pain of the trees? Ah, who knows? He's certainly passionate though. Very powerful guitars, and it's on this that this track is mostly driven.

There are only six tracks on the album, but only one of them is below nine minutes long. Lovely dark acoustic opening to “Le gala de gens heureux” (no; I think the last word might mean hours, but even then I'm not sure) and then it breaks into a slow, majestic guitar anthem, and later breaks down into a kind of stark, sparse melody. Some piano joining in now, making this a lot more dramatic. Soft guitar again takes in “Cicatrice”, (didn't we have a member called that once?) with gentle percussion and a kind of haunting feel. Piano gets a bit more involved than it has been up to now. I really don't hear any violin as of yet though. Gets very eerie and sort of ethereal in the last minute or so, and then fades out into “Veux-tu danser?” which I'm pretty sure is “Do you want to dance?”

Opening on a ticking clock and children's laughter, it again is driven by low-key, muted acoustic guitar and gentle percussion. Even when the vocal comes in it's relatively restrained, and as it goes on I think I even hear Icare cry. I'm sure I do. Probably playing a part but quite effective. I wonder is this some sort of glance back to childhood and the mistakes made in our youth? Eventually though he's had enough and explodes in rage or frustration. Good guitar solo coming up now. Okay, even someone as lingually challenged as I can guess what “Profunde misanthropie” means. And as if to confirm that, Icare is howling and roaring and snarling his pain and sorrow all over the track. Nice piano and the drums are particularly effective. Still hear no violin so far.

The final track is “La dryade”, and starts with a soft little piano piece, and now finally I hear Warren Ellislike violin, very mournful and sad. Flute? Or whistle? Uileann pipes maybe? Whatever it is it's lovely and goes for about five minutes before the violin starts to take things in a slightly more uptempo direction, like a reel or a jig, something traditional anyway. I have the feeling this may in fact be an instrumental, as the piano gets a little more upbeat and we head into the sixth minute. These guys can certainly play, and play well. It's been worth waiting for the violin, considering how it drives this final piece. Lovely finale on the piano.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Il était une forêt...
2. Le gala des gens heureux
3. Cicatrice
4. Veux-tu danser?
5. Profunde misanthropie
6. La dryade

Incredibly talented musicians, I think I said earlier, and so these guys are; it's just a pity I couldn't go deeper into their lyrics. Despite having the barest smattering of French (memories of what I learned in school, the old word or phrase picked up from TV or books) I couldn't really interpret the songs at all. But they did seem to be rooted in a love of nature, a witfulness for the past and perhaps a wish for simpler times. Even the singing did not put me off like it did with Nyktalgia, and again being a two-man operation, this work has to be applauded. Certainly a credit to their country.


Our first, probably only taste of Swiss ABM comes from a band who seem to have more demos than albums! Although this is self-titled, it seems there were four before it and another two after, with only two actual albums recorded, both splits with another band. Weird. Even at that though, this demo at least is close enough to the length of an actual album, racking up over fifty-four minutes in total, so although there are only three tracks there's a lot of music to get through.

Paysage d'Hiver --- Paysage d'Hiver --- 1999 (Kunsthall Produktionen)

Hey! I recognise that cover! That was, I think, Mojo's avatar for a long time. Or was it Overcast? Well, someone had it anyway. At this point, it comes as no surprise to me to find that Paysage d'Hiver (winter landscape in French) is one guy, who goes by the name of (anyone?) Wintherr, though his real name is Tobias Möckl. Each of the three tracks here clock in at just around the eighteen-minute mark, but if there's a longest track then it's “Welt aus Eis” at a clear one minute longer than the other two, nine seconds shy of nineteen minutes. Perhaps odd that he writes in German, when he's titling his albums in French and comes from Switzerland, although he does cite Burzum among his influences, so maybe that's why. Doesn't matter to me really, as whether the lyrics were in French or German I wouldn't be able to understand them.

Nice gentle easing in to the album: not. Mad, apocalyptic, chaotic guitar and drums with a screechy voice that opens “Welt aus Eis”, and I wonder will it change much over the course of almost nineteen minutes? Okay, well, after about seven minutes of pure guitar hammering and screaming, he breaks it down to some acoustic, sans vocals for now, which is a nice change and shows he really can play, which I allow was never really in doubt. Kind of an echoey effect there, gives a nice ambience to the music. Reaching the tenth minute and it gets heavier and darker, and Wintherr starts screeching again, though the basic melody remains. Think it may be like this right up to the end.

Well, no. I hear what may be violin or cello coming in and to be fair the layers of sound building up here are really impressive. After the seventh minute this song just got a lot more interesting. Now some dark synth and choral vocal synth is changing the whole style of the track while yet retaining its basic motif as it fades out towards its end. “Gefrorener atem” opens on that same sort of cold synth, echoey effects and phased guitar, very slow and almost menacing. Suddenly it kicks up and goes all mad like the beginning track, galloping drums and roaring vocal, though in the background I think the guitar is remaining low and steady. Fo twelve minutes it follows more or less the same melody, then slows down to synth while still basically keeping the same chords as far as I can see. Then in the fourteenth the guitars cut in more sharply and Wintherr is back howling and roaring.

“Der weg” begins in the same chaotic and intense way, but if I have a handle on Paysage D'Hiver now (and I'm not saying I do after two tracks) this is going to slow down to some either acoustic guitar, violin or keyboard somewhere around the fifth or sixth minute. Well, there's some synth coming in now in the tenth minute but it's just really joined the chaos, hasn't slowed it down or really changed it at all. It's settling down in minute fourteen to chiming guitar and droning synth, slowing down considerably and no vocals so far. And that's how it fades out.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Welt aus Eis
2. Gefrorener atem
3. Der weg

Much of this album is not to my taste --- the long, sometimes seemingly formless guitar assaults, the shrieks --- but when he really tries Wintherr can make his music really interesting. He clearly can play, and though the credits just say “everything”, I feel he has guitar, bass, drums, piano, violin, keyboards and probably a bit more in there, so it's pretty impressive. Could do with a bit more variety, but certainly an interesting and entertaining album.

Having tried and indeed on the whole enjoyed what little we sampled of Swiss Atmospheric Black Metal, it's due east we go to sample some from France, one of the drivers, I'm told, of the genre and one of the most revered. Looks like they combine elements of avant-garde and also industrial metal into their sound, which may be interesting or at least different. Given the respect accorded to this album by those in the know, it's perhaps fitting that we bring our dark little odyssey to a close with a look at it.

The Work Which Transforms God --- Blut Aus Nord --- 2003 (Candlelight Records)

Why is this the one Blut Aus Nord album that neither Spotify nor GPM have? Fuck it anyway! Back to YouTube I must go! At least you can always rely on YT. The only thing that annoys me is when people upload albums without consecutive running times, which means you have to keep adding up the track times to make sure of where you are. Sigh. Anyway, taking their cue perhaps from The Doors, the album begins with “End”, a short, very ambient instrumental --- oh look ! Someone kind commenter has put the running times up for me. Thanks, Pyrobaguette1! As we reach the first track proper, “The choir of the dead” it kicks into what I guess you'd call real Black Metal, with the guitars going mental and that by-now familiar screech and roar that so often passes for vocals in this subgenre.

Not a whole lot to say really. Looks like we have another six minutes or so of this to go. Okay, the guitar is getting a little more recognisable now and there's a melody of sorts emerging around the fifth minute or so, drums slowing down to human level, kind of a warping effect on the guitars. Ending on what sounds like iron bells tolling and into “Axis”, which jumps out of the shadows and buries its teeth in your throat. Once you've got over the shock of that, the guitar settles a little but it's still mighty fast and plenty of howling is to be had. Not a whole lot in it to be honest, but at least it is short. Ambient and atmospheric instrumental number two is “The Fall”, a mere minute and a half, and it takes us into “Metamorphosis”, hard guitar leading the way but at least I can follow the riff for now.

Almost a hard rock feel to this, and it's much slower than anything else from the album so far, the drums maintaining a constant, steady beat thanks to GhÖst, while Vindsval handles guitars and W.D Feld the bass, but I have no idea who is singing (to use the word loosely) as nobody is credited. I feel it may be the guitarist but that's just a guess. “The supreme abstract” is a short track, just under three minutes, and seems to contain some sort of chant as well as bestial grunts that makes it sound like there's a chorus of pigs singing, and it's pretty much just a mess really. It leads into the longer “Our blessed frozen cells” which has a mostly slower, doomy feel and then halfway falls off to just wind sounds and feedback, then it comes back with a much clearer, and still slow guitar and percussion, but with a definite melody this time. Finishes really strongly and fades out.

Another instrumental then in “Devilish essence”, with what sounds like dark piano and a feeling of being followed down clammy, ill-light halls and slipping on slimy steps that descend deeper and deeper into the dark. Unnameable breathing is at your back and there is only one way to go now, and that is down, down into the stygian depths, towards whatever horrors await you. “The howling of God” sounds like it's going to be another chaotic mess, and so it proves, with hammering, frenetic guitar and thundering drumming, whoever is singing screaming and roaring as the song trundles along at top speed. Actually, to be fair, it does settle into something of a groove after a while. Becomes quite hypnotic, really.

The last of the vocal tracks then is “Inner mental cage” (should that be inner metal cage? No? Fair enough, then) and lasts a mere three minutes, and it's actually quite restrained and coherent. Really great doomy guitar, some sort of chanting, steady slow drumming. For a vocal track, there's virtually no singing, just chanting and I think some dark laughter. The album ends on two instrumentals, one short, one very long. The former is hardly even deserving of the title, being a mere eighteen seconds long, but the closer is almost ten minutes, making it by far the longest track on the whole album, and “Procession of the dead clowns” opens with a big rising screeching guitar and what may be a synth line, with some effects like chains and metal on stone, then breaks into a slow, doomy and yet powerful guitar-led anthem with a really fine melody. It's bascially the same phrase all the way through, but it really works with the title and closes the album extremely well.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. End
2. The choir of the dead
3. Axis
4. The fall
5. Metamorphosis
6. The supreme abstract
7. Our blessed frozen cells
8. Devilish essence
9. The howling of God
10. Inner mental cage
11. Density
12. Procession of the dead clowns

Obviously, there are still aspects of Black Metal I don't care for: I like my music, in general, to have some sort of melody I can pick out and follow, or at least write about, and I like to be able to understand, insofar as possible, what's being sung, but I must admit I'm gaining a new appreciation of and respect for the subgenre. It's not, as I believed two years ago, nothing more than noise, played by people who can't play proper metal and so resort to this loud, abrasive, formless cacophony. There are some really great musicians in this subgenre, and I can see why this album is hailed as it is, and why it should be the natural terminus for our short voyage into darkness. A stunning end to a pretty breathtaking, at times scary but mostly revelatory adventure.

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Exodus: Slaves For Life --- Amaseffer --- 2008 (InsideOut Music)

The first thing I notice here is that this band appear to have a major label behind them, which is in stark contrast to the vast majority of bands I have checked out in this section, not only here in Israel, but all across the Middle East (or at least, the tiny portions we've touched on), most of whom are either unsigned or independent. The fact that Amaseffer have major backing should give them an edge over their contemporaries, and yet this appears to be their only album, and seven years old at that. The name of the band seems to translate in Hebrew as “People of the Holy Book”, and the album, as its title implies, looks to be a concept one covering the escape of the Jews from Egypt under the leadership of Moses. Of the albums I've reviewed thus far, this seems to be the longest of any of them, clocking in at an impressive seventy-seven minutes.

We open with a narrated piece, not in English (Yiddish? Hebrew? Israeli?) and some flutey Arabic style backing, with a nice sort of clangy guitar as “Sorrow” opens the album, and very sorrowful indeed it is. Theres's a real sense of melancholy and loss in the music, which is mostly, almost entirely instrumental, bar the introductory few words. With the sounds of chains rattling, horses neighing and stone on stone, we move into the title track, with a dark, rising, grumbling guitar and a lament being sung again in a Middle Eastern language as the sound effects increase. I'm assuming this is meant to represent the Jews being sold into slavery.

The first proper guitar chords now merge with flute to produce a very Arabian melody as the song starts to take shape. Now I'm rather delighted to hear that the vocals are in English, and so I can follow this epic story instead of just wondering what the band are singing (or sometimes talking) about. My one problem is that nobody is actually credited as band vocalist --- some are shown as “narrator”, some as “actor” --- and they also use guest singers such as Angela Gossow from Arch Enemy, Mats Levin from Therion and Orphaned Land's talented singer, Kobi Fahri, so I have no idea who is singing at any one time. Be that as it may, this song seems to relate the story of Moses and his eventual breaking away from his Egyptian family in order to lead the Jews out of Egypt and to the Promised Land. It's pretty much progressive or symphonic metal for the most part with, as with Orphaned Land, many traditional instruments used, including oud, saz, tablas and bouzouki.

With breathtaking cinematic splendour and dramatic sweep, the song runs for over nine minutes and goes through several changes as it does, ending with the determination of the Pharaoh not to allow a messiah to be born to free the Hebrews, and to drown every one of their sons in the Nile. “Birth of deliverance” is an even longer track, over eleven minutes, and details the birth and hiding of Moses in the rushes near the river's bank. It's hard to describe what I'm hearing here. It's exactly like the soundtrack to a major motion picture, and it's a tribute to the skill and vision of the band and the players in the drama that it gives you shivers just to hear it. Vocal choirs, string orchestras, narration by actors (actual stage actors, called in for this project) and superbly clear and direct singing all make this album an absolute joy to listen to, and quite an experience.

Even in between the musical passages and the singing, and the narration, there are sound effects, speech and actions as if the movie this could be the soundtrack to is playing out on a big screen in front of us. It's so evocative, it's hard to remember you're not actually watching a film. It's almost wrong, even impossible, to review this track by track; it's something you have to experience as one overall thing. It almost does it a disservice to break it down, but take my word for it, this is one incredible album and if it were produced in the West this would be a massive hit and far better known than it is. It's part of a planned trilogy, but I would have to say that with no sign of part two after seven years, well, it's probably unlikely we'll ever get to hear the completion of the story, which is a real crime. But at least we have this opus to keep us happy. Stunning stuff.

TRACKLISTING

1. Sorrow
2. Slaves for life
3. Birth of deliverance
4. Midian
5. Ziporah
6. The burning bush
7. The wooden staff
8. Return to Egypt
9. Ten plagues
10. Land of the dead

I know, I know! I hardly really reviewed it. But it's such a sumptuous masterpiece that a short review of the kind I'm doing here would not in any way do this album justice. It deserves to be listened to, not really reviewed. You need to soak it in, luxuriate in it, drown in it, feel yourself being pulled in and under and never want to resist. It's more, so much more, than a metal album, more even than a rock opera, and if it were somehow filmed it would even be more than a movie. It's literally the story of a people, of their history and their struggles, their despair and their eventual triumph, their release from bondage and their quest for the land God had promised them.

It's all this, and so much more. For us, here and now, it's proof positive that amazing, inspiring, enthralling and captivating music is being made in this country, and the metal bands of Israel, certainly this one at any rate, could teach their more famous counterparts in the West a thing or two.

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I know, how selfish can you be, right?
Seriously, you would not believe it if you saw her. They reckon it's an infection of the pancreas: you can just imagine how nasty that is. She's so out of it: she thought we were at home and was asking me to put on one of her programs on her digital set-top box. I had to remind her she was in hospital. Then she began choking while drinking water and I just legged it to the nurses' station yelling I NEED HELP! What a scramble! Man, she's in the right place though; they're really looking after her.
I honestly don't remember why I said that at the end; it confused me, hence the gif. Remember, that was written a month or more ago now so I might have been thinking about other things or meant to clarify but forgot, and then, you know, forgot. I think I will like it all right.

You also recced Sleep, which I'm not doing, having suffered through Dopesmoker () and running out of time also, and Converge, which I will be doing. That's it then as far as I remember.

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The Batlord

Whoa, whoa, whoa. If I suggested a Sleep album, then it was Holy Mountain, which is about as different from Dopesmoker as it is possible for a doom metal band to be. Even I don't like Dopesmoker, but Holy Mountain has actual songs. You're not getting out of that **** so easily, so get to work.

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Life after Rob Halford began seven years later, with rather oddly but perhaps appropriately the lead singer's position being filled by a former fan of the band, who had been at the time fronting a Judas Priest tribute band called British Steel. Tim “Ripper” Owens would go on to record two albums with Priest before being ousted by the triumphant return of Halford in 2005.

Jugulator (1997)
Heavy, mechanical robotics noises herald the approach of the Jugulator of the album title, a massive engine of destruction that rumbles forward on hard chugging guitar and menacing bass, percussion rolling in as it approaches and gets closer, a dark, evil-sounding voice declaiming its advance before all hell breaks loose and we pound into the title track. Rocketing along on the twin guitar assault, the song of course features the first vocal performance of the new singer, and while he may not be a match for Halford he's no shrinking violet, growling and spitting the lyric as he revels in his hitherto-unexpected position. There's a certain more restrained feel to “Blood stained”, though it's still as heavy as hell. Scott Travis, on his second album with the band, really thumps out the beat.

The dark growled vocals (mostly in the background) are a little silly though, and smack of Priest actively trying to compare to, compete with or even copy the likes of Metallica, Anthrax and Megadeth, and Owens also seems to want to channel Ozzy at times. More growls and snorts from presumably the rampaging Jugulator as we head into “Dead meat”, where Owens really sounds like Hetfield to me, and the song is okay but a little weak and droning I feel. “Death Row” sounds like it might be a whole lot better, with an atmospheric guitar passage opening it and the sound of a phone call that advises there will be no stay of execution. It rocks like a good thing then, and in fairness Owens's voice does suit this song much better, but again I'm reminded of the Big M or even a slowed-down Slayer. The lyrical content is so much more US Thrash than UK Metal, with something of an odd chant in the chorus. Definitely feels like pandering to the American market and trying to jump on the Thrash bandwagon. Even the guitar riff is so Metallica.

The song titles aren't exactly inspired either. We've had “Blood stained”, “Dead meat”, “Death Row” and now we have “Decapitate”, followed by “Brain dead” and “Burn in Hell.” Yeah. The first is a decent grinder with a snarly vocal from “Ripper” Owens, which is okay but it does make me yearn for the glory days of Halford. Oddly enough, “Burn in Hell” starts with an acoustic guitar, quite introspective, with a dark bassy line underpinning it, and a very good vocal from Owens. Those sirens from “Breaking the law” are back to usher in “Brain dead”, a slower, nastier, grindier song in which Owens again reminds me of the Ozz. Oddly perhaps, this is a sympathetic story, viewed from the side of a man who is in a PVS (Persistent Vegetative State) and can do nothing for himself, has to watch while people feed him, clean him, speak as if he's not there. The dark snarling guitar underlines the frustration of the patient as he sits, unable to do or say anything and decisions are made for him.

Stayling slow and somewhat moody for “Abductors”, with more of that silly death growling (not that it's silly per se, but here it just doesn't seem to fit; it's not part of Judas Priest's sound) , and a kind of dramatic, ominous feel. It speeds up near the end with a fine solo, but slows back down before the end, then “Bullet train” pushes down the hammer and racks everything up to ten, careering along with some fine shredding from the guys and we end on what I believe is the longest Judas Priest track to date, just over nine minutes as “Cathedral spires” brings the curtain down in style with a slow, smouldering opening then kicks up into a snarling, spitting monster as Priest envisage the final days of Planet Earth. Again though I find this very Metallica in sound and texture.

TRACKLISTING

1. Jugulator
2. Blood stained
3. Dead meat
4. Death Row
5. Decapitate
6. Burn in Hell
7. Brain dead
8. Abductors
9. Bullet train
10. Cathedral spires

It's not a bad album, and to be fair, to come back after seven years and with a new vocalist was quite a feat for Judas Priest. In Tim Owens I think they managed to land a successful replacement for Halford, but he has his own style and I feel this doesn't quite chime with the rest of the band. Allied to that, the fact that they seem to be intentionally trying to ape the sound of the bigger American Thrash bands here cheapens this album in my eyes. On Ram it down Halford and the boys stamped their seal on the “new” metal scene in America, and gave warning they were far from dead. They faced up to the Big Four, and to a degree, faced them down. There was chestbeating and roaring and a whole lot of testosterone.

Here, it looks to me like after seven years away from the scene, and perhaps a little unsure of themselves without their charismatic leading man, and unsure too if the fans would accept a replacement for their hero, Judas Priest played it safe, copying the trend at the time, the darker, grindier, nastier sound of Metallica and their brethren. Instead of showing the upstarts how it was done, that they were back in no uncertain terms, they just seem to have fallen in line behind them and asked “Can we play too?”

Not something you would expect a beast as fearsome as the Jugulator to ask!

Perhaps the last lines of the closer could be taken as a kind of prophecy, or speak to the band’s state of mind at the time: ”We’re so tired/Watching the world expire/Maybe we should retire…”

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And now we move on to my own favourite, the first Pirate Metal band I ever listened to, even before I knew it was a thing. Hailing from bonny Scotland, they began their lives as Battleheart, but apart from sounding like just another run-of-the-mill power metal band, this name was actually taken and rather than face legal action from the band who had it first, they thought about it and changed their name to


Although they did release two EPs under the Battleheart name, it seems most if not all of the tracks on those found their way onto the Alestorm albums, so I'm just going to ignore them and go right ahead with their debut album, released in 2008.

Captain Morgan's Revenge --- Alestorm --- 2008 (Napalm Records)

There's an immediate change from pretty much everything we've heard up to now, as we can hear this band is a true proper power metal one, and so we get the usual power metal tropes as we open on “Over the seas”, a great ragged vocal from Christopher Bowes and biting guitars from Gavin Harper (no, there are no silly made-up pirate names, which is indeed a pity) with a driving organ melody lending the song a sense of over-the-top gravitas, then the title track relates how a pirate crew betrayed the code and mutinied, killing their own captain, who then laid a curse on them as he walked the plank. ”We broke the law, betrayed the code/ Now time is running out/ An unforgivable offence/ Of that there is no doubt” they wail as they wait for the gallows. Where it should really be a downbeat song it's very much not, with the pirates accepting their fate and realising that with their deaths the curse of Captain Morgan will be finally lifted.

Great keyboard solo by Bowes, kind of almost a hornpipe and a great growled vocal from him too, and into “The Huntmaster”, where Alestorm pen perhaps one of the most important Pirate Metal lyrics ever --- ”With the power of ale he could not fail”. The song is a rattling power metal monster, galloping along with energy and fun, great fanfares on the keys, then things slow down for a real drinking song as the boys launch into “Nancy the tavern wench” with a swaying, drunken atmosphere and a great hooky chorus. I'd say that of the bands I've listened to so far, Christopher Bowes has the best voice suited to a pirate singing; it's raw, harsh but not scratchy or too growly, just the right side of Beefheart with a dash of Mike Scott in there too.

Kicking things up then with the almost speed metal “Death before the mast” as a pirate's luck runs out and he is sunk by the Royal Navy, going to meet his fate with a grin on his face and his sword in his hand, while another, more fortunate one (or this one before his luck turned) wages war on merchant shipping in “Terror on the high seas”, another rip-roaring adventure that cannons along, and there's no pausing for breath as we barrel into “Set sail and conquer”, great chorus and a real feel of fuck-you-all-we'll-do-what-we-like! Some excellent solos here, and on into “Of treasure” with a great whistle intro and a rolling, rocking acoustic guitar and accordion; I'm sure I've heard the melody in the chorus before though... yeah of course: “Johnny comes marching home”!

I think we can all identify with the sentiments in “Wenches and mead” --- ”Hey hey! I want more wenches!/ Hey hey! Wenches and mead!” and the album ends with a suitably drunken, lurching cover of one of the unofficial Scottish national anthems, “Flower of Scotland”.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Over the seas
2. Captain Morgan's revenge
3. The huntmaster
4. Nancy the tavern wench
5. Death before the mast
6. Terror on the high seas
7. Set sail and conquer
8. Of treasure
9. Wenches and mead
10. Flower of Scotland

I'm not surprised at how good this album is, as Alestorm are the one Pirate Metal band I had actually experienced prior to writing this. It is however gratifying to see that the album I did listen to, their last, was not just a fluke, and now I'm stoked to hear their other two. So on we go...


Black Sails at Midnight --- Alestorm --- 2009 (Napalm Records)

Interestingly, on this album Alestorm softened their approach a little, bringing in instruments such as trombone, cornets, trumpets and even bagpipes. Though you wouldn't know it from the opener, which has power metal written all over it in large letters, and “The quest” gets things going nicely, with the boys declaring with a grin ”From lands across the sea/ We have returned once more” and indeed they have, as with a mad guitar and keyboard rush they introduce the almost six-minute “Leviathan”. I particularly like how Bowes's thick Scottish accent comes through on the lines ”Tearing bodies limb from limb/ Eviscerating on a whim”. Aye, stitch that, Jimmy! The trumpets really add something here too, the first time Alestorm have used them.

Another great drinking song with “That famous Ol' Spiced”, some great work by the trumpets here; you can just see all the buccaneers sitting around a table, slapping the arses of tavern wenches and roaring laughing as they bellow ”Pour me a slug of it/ Throw me a mug of it/ Bring me a jug of that Famous Ol' Spiced!” Fiddles and whistles drag “Keelhauled” along at a tremendous pace, guitars and drums getting in on the act too as Bowes grins ”Keelhaul that filthy landlubber/ Send him down to the depths below/ Make that bastard walk the plank/ With a bottle of rum and a yo ho ho!” Things slow down then for “To the end of our days”, a swaying, staggering, rabble-rousing us-against-the-world anthem with a superb organ solo right out of “House of the Rising Sun” and some really expressive violin. Hitting full speed now for the title track, power metal almost meeting speed metal as the boys exult, and another powerful keyboard solo followed by some fret-burning.

The first instrumental from this band then is “No quarter”, and it's the only one on the album, an energetic, upbeat hornpipe with a sweet guitar solo thrown in, and a few rounds of “Hey!” which I know technically stops it being an true instrumental, but who cares? “Pirate song” is a joy to behold, rocking along like crazy with the memoirs of an old seadog as he contemplates his life of robbery and debauchery. “Chronicles of vengeance” has a big dramatic ominous opening, then hammers along at speed with again great input from the brass section, and the album ends on a cover of “Wolves of the sea”, bringing the curtain down in fine style.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. The quest
2. Leviathan
3. That Famous Ol' Spiced
4. Keelhauled
5. To the end of our days
6. Black sails at midnight
7. No quarter
8. Pirate song
9. Chronicles of vengeance
10. Wolves of the sea

Before I end this review I want to look for one bonus track, which I'm told is only available through itunes. Now, I'm not giving those bastards one plugged penny, but I am hoping someone has uploaded it to ... Yessss! There it is! “P is for Pirate” is a parody on the old Sesame Street song “C is for Cookie” and contains mostly acapella singing with some accordion as they declare “A pirate with one leg looks a bit like the letter P” and “Applejuice looks a little like pee, but you cannot drink that!” Yeah it's only fifty seconds long, but worth hunting down.

As is this album. Another round of rollicking, roaring, rapine roguery from the red-blooded rovers of the rolling sea, and I'm looking forward to the third one already! Now, altogether... “P is for Pirate, P is for Pirate, that's good enough for me! Pirate, pirate, pirate spelled with a P....”


Back Through Time --- Alestorm --- 2011 (Napalm Records)

Looks like they kept, and expanded on, the brass and other instruments, and added orchestral arrangments too, however no instrumentals at all this time around. You would not believe how fast the opening track is though. With the sounds of waves and then a cry “Captain! There be Vikings off the starboard bow!” we launch into the title track, as the boys head through a timewarp into the past, and battle the Norsemen with lines such as ”You put your faith in Odin and Thor/ We put ours in cannons and whores!” and ”Your Viking gods won't save ye now/ When the pirates strike from the starboard bow!” What an opening! Joyous to behold, the boys are back in town. Well, on the sea. You know what I mean. Hey: the boys are back in time! Not bad, eh? Yeah, well, have it your way. “Shipwrecked” keeps things flying along with the sad tale of a pirate whose ship has sunk and now waits for death as the boys yell ”Hah! You're banjaxed! Hah! You're screwed!” Sympathetic souls, inn they? “The Sunk'n Norwegian” is good, but it's really just a rehash of “Nancy the tavern wench” isn't it? Mind you, they've never penned anything like “Midget saw” before! That's fucking hilarious and so un-PC. Vertically challenged, my arse!

“Buckfast powersmash” is just heads-down speed metal nonsense, gloriously funny with the explanation ”I'm not sure what's in it except caffeine/ Despite having drunk it since I was thirteen!” and then things begin to sway along in the anthemic “Scraping the barrel”, a real pirate tavern song with some great work on the whistle, and of course there's nothing bad you can say about “Rum”, with its madcap rush and its chorus of ”Rum! Rum! Rum! Rum! Rum! Give me more rum!” Fucking inspired. They then have a go at their comrades from over the ocean in “Swashbuckled”, where they mercilessly tease the once (?) Pirate Metal gods from Nyoo Joisey, jeering them perhaps for abandoning their Pirate Metal roots, or maybe just making fun because they can. Either way it's great fun.

The cover this time is “Barrett's Privateers” by Canadian folk singer Stan Rogers, played with great enthusiasm and energy and featuring Heri Joensen from Tyr guesting on guitar, and the album winds up with “Death throes of the Terrorsquid”, featuring the return of the Leviathan from the previous album, but this time the pirates are ready for it and send it straight to Davy Jones's Locker, yar har!

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Back through time
2. Shipwrecked
3. The sunk'n Norwegian
4. Midget saw
5. Buckfast powersmash
6. Scraping the barrel
7. Rum
8. Swashbuckled
9. Rumpelkombo
10. Barrett's privateers
11. Death throes of the Terrorsquid

Well so far Alestorm have not let me down, with their mixture of power metal, odd instruments, tales of derring-do and their infectious humour. I like the link to the last album with the closer, I like the slagging off of Swashbuckle, and the hilarity of Buckfast being seen as a hard drink, but I sort of wish that, since they used the device of travelling through time at the beginning of the album they had built on that and harried all sorts of people through the ages. Would have been a nice concept. Oh well, I suppose some brain cells must be fried through all that rum drinking down the years. A worthy effort, certainly, and it takes us to our last from them, which I know in advance I love, as I have already heard it.

And now, we're going to hear it again.

Sunset on the Golden Age --- Alestorm --- 2014 (Napalm Records)

We're back taking that final dive in “Walk the plank” as Alestorm present their credential as the best Pirate Metal band out there, with a mad organ riff running through the song as it cannons along with a real power metal thunder, then the fantastic “Drink” staggers along as they roar ”We are here to drink your beer/ And steal your rum at the point of a gun!” Love this song. Great fiddle solo and you have to hear that shouted, chanted chorus; you just can't help joining in. Some really nice pipes opening “Magnetic north” and then a soft acoustic guitar before it pumps up into action, going a bit death metal in the middle, complete with screamed vocal.

One of their longest songs then is “1741 (The Battle of Cartagena)” which runs for over seven minutes, and rocks every minute of it. The only song that comes close at this point is the closer from the previous album, although there is a longer one to come later. Great guitar solo in the fourth minute. “Mead from Hell” is just .... well, just crazy. Opening lines ”Under the sea is a colony of bees/ And a man called Fred who will shoot you dead”? But even that sounds sane when you come across “Surf squid warfare” --- ”I come to you from another time/ With a message that everyone must die/ At the hands of undead squids from space/ They'll crush your skull and smash your face!” Yeah, these guys have been at the funny rum for sure!

“Quest for ships” is another mad rush through the song, total hilarity and insanity, then my favourite ever Alestorm song, “Wooden leg”, hurtles along as the pirate relates the sad tale of how he first lost both his legs (AARRGH! YOU SPANISH BASTARDS!) and then fought a ninja who took both his arms (ARRRGGH! YOU JAPANESE BASTARDS!) and it flies along at almost speed metal pace. Fucking superb! Luke Philip from Lagerstein (we'll be checking them out later) takes over on vocals for “Hangover”, which has a sort of power-pop/rock feel to it (it's a cover) then the album ends on the longest ever Alestorm song.

It's also the title track, a big powerful epic that seems to lament the passing of the golden age of piracy and has just about everything --- hornpipes, keyboard soundscapes, reels, a powerful pirate chant, more hooks than a good angler's tackle box --- and runs for a good eleven and a half minutes, a fitting end to a brilliant album and the very first experience I had of Pirate Metal. Hopefully it won't be their swansong.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Walk the plank
2. Drink
3. Magnetic north
4. 1741 (The Battle of Cartagena)
5. Mead from Hell
6. Surf squid warfare
7. Quest for ships
8. Wooden leg
9. Hangover
10. Sunset on the golden age

Well it hasn't lost any of its charm or immediacy, and it certainly stands as one of Alestorm's best albums, even after I've listened to the rest. I lvoe the energy and humour this band of rebel Scots bring to their music, and in that way they're probably closest to The Dread Crew of Oddwood in general philosophy, although they'd probably say “Fuck philosophy! Fill up me tankard!”

And so say all of us, mateys!

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Trollheart

So, once more into the land of mascara and lipstick and long hair, and when we're finished with Motley Crue we'll check out the last of our


Hey, all-female metal bands aren't confined just to the decadent West, you know! Volnaya Staya hail from beautiful Moscow, where they probably give old Putin a heart attack with their wicked western look and in-your-face image. They claim to be (and I won't dispute them) the only all-girl metal band in all of Russia, and comprise Ksenia on vocals, Julie Main on guitar and vocals, Natalie Terekhova on guitar, Marina Malakhova on bass and Svetlana Deinekina on drums. They're only together since 2006 and have the one album, but apparently it's making a big noise over in the motherland. Maybe we'll hear more about them. Oh, after some searching I've come up with the answer: their name, translated from the original Russian, is “free flight”.


And then there's Sweden...

Hysterica have been in existence since 2006, with their first album out in 2009. They just released their second in 2012 and are presumably working on a third effort. They are Anni De Vil on vocals, Bitchie on guitars, RockZilla on guitars, Satanica on bass and Hell'n on drums.


To say nothing of Japan...

Saeko Kitamae had to move to Europe to form her band and is now well known in German power metal circles. She seems to have had two albums recorded under her own name, and was also in two bands she formed, Insania and Fairy Mirror. She would appear to use a rotating mix of male/female band members to help her record her albums, leaning mostly towards the distaff.


and of course, how could we forget

Babymetal

Yeah, they're seen as something of a joke, and to be honest I've heard little from them, but as Alphaville once noted, they're big in Japan, so they must be doing something right. Apparently they have three vocalists --- Su-Metal, Yuimetal and Moametal --- three guitarists, one bassist and two drummers! They're described as a Metal Idol band (don't ask me) and have to date just the one album, released in 2014, but it has sold over 100,000 units in their native country alone, and has topped the US World Albums as well as hitting the top ten in the US Heatseekers (?) Albums chart and the UK Independent Albums Breakers (again: ?) and Rock and Metal Albums charts. Laughing, are you? I'm sure they are too, all the way to the First National Imperial Bank!


Although she has since diversified more into blues and jazz, there was a time when she was a bona fide metal queen, so we should really tip our hat to

Lee Aaron

Releasing four metal albums in the eighties before she moved away into hard rock and then softer, more commercial directions, Lee Aaron was one of the few major female metal acts of that era, and her album Metal Queen is a recognised classic of the time. Like many of her ilk, she failed to have any real commercial success, but is remembered fondly by metalheads.


Another all-female band from Eastern Europe is Hellcats, who have been going since 2003 but only had their first EP released in 2011 and their first album in 2013. They come from Slovenia, and can probably confidently claim to be the only all-female metal band from that country. They include two sisters in their lineup, which is: Ajda Kovačič (vocals), Katja Mavec (Guitar) and the Zagorc sisters, Sasha on bass and Sonja on drums.



Doro Pesch (Doro)

Most metalheads will know the name of Doro Pesch, who originally fronted Warlock and then created her own band under her name. She has been around since the mid-eighties and in total, including both bands, has released sixteen albums. Her aversion to publicity and refusal to trade on her sexuality set her apart from other female acts who used their looks and their bodies to advance their musical career and their fanbase, and her dedication to PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) led her to wear simulated leather rather than real leather clothing. Committed totally to her career and her fans, she took a conscious decision not to marry or start a family, and though the rise of Grunge in the 90s made life difficult for her, she did not jump on the bandwagon, perservering until metal became popular again. She released her latest album in 2012, attracting even metal god Lemmy to sing on one of the tracks.



Liv Jagrell (Sister Sin)

Another Swedish metal band fronted by a lady, Sister Sin have five albums and have been together since 2003. They have played live with Motorhead, In This Moment, Arch Enemy and more. They describe themselves as “old school metal”, and being from Gothenburg, one of the capitals of death/black metal and the more extreme scene, find it a little hard sometimes to get their music across. But they're gaining a lot of attention, and have played both in the USA and in the Czech Republic, and of course in their native Sweden. Liv is also a professional model and has done some acting, though she says music is her first love.



And another all-girl metal band, from Canada again, Kittie have been in existence since 1999 and have gone through a lot of changes over the course of their sixteen-year career. Originally a nu-metal band, they later changed their style to a more death/black metal style. They have six albums and are: Morgan Lander (Lead vocals, Guitar, Piano), Tara McLeod (Guitars), Trish Doan (Bass and Mercedes Lander (drums). They say that they chose the name Kittie because of its direct contradictory relationship to their music, which you can hear below.

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So, one more chance to scare the bejaysus out of me, Batty, with three strikes on your card already (or whatever the stupid baseball term is). When I see an album that blends metalcore and hardcore punk (I usually don't do too well around music that has a “core” in it) I do worry though; this one could be your ace in the hole. Well, if so, then so be it: I've more than proved I can withstand everything you can throw at me up to now, so hopefully I'll get through this one too and we'll have a clean sweep for me.

So let's go: hit me Batty, one more time!


Jane Doe --- Converge --- 2001

Well it's thrashy, chaotic guitar that seems to have no tune I can discern and then the vocals, such as they are, come in and it's just a guy screaming his head off. Now, in fairness, I can hear the melody here after a few seconds. It's not too bad, though there's nothing at all I can say about the vocals. The only good thing about this is that the song is barely more than a minute, though I note with some trepidation that the closer runs for eleven! We're into the second track and there's no discernible difference here, not to me; just wild, uncontrolled guitar and someone screaming. Honestly, I've even heard black metal vocalists I'd prefer to this guy. Just what I want after a hard day's visiting at the hospital, just what I need to unwind. Not. Ah well, I asked for this.

It's all something of a blur, though there is a rather nice guitar bit there sans percussion in about the second minute of this second track, and yer man on vox shuts up, so that's nice. Of course, he can't stay quiet to the end of the track, which ends as confused and jumbled as it began. Nice guitar riff opening the third track, “Distance and meaning”, and for thirty blessed seconds I don't have to listen to the vocals, but even so, when they come in, sounds like the guy has taken his happy pills or something and he's much more restrained. Yeah, I had to say that, didn't I? He's back roaring and screeching now and normal service has it would seem been resumed. Think I can pick out a few words, which is something of a novelty. Speaking of novelties, there's some actually very melodic guitar introducing “Hell to pay”, but I'm not fooled, waiting for the hammer to fall. Wow. Even the vocalist pares it back here in a serious way. Kicking up a little now, but given how frenetic the rest of the album has been, this is positively relaxing by comparison!

We're back to the grind with “Homewrecker”, and there's not a lot I can say about it. Nothing really good I can pick out about it. Well, other than the fact that it brings us to the midpoint of the album, and let's be honest, three of the later tracks are like two minutes, one minute and less than a minute, though I have to endure the eleven-and-a-half minute opus at the end. Not looking forward to that. I'd honestly rather listen to Anaal Nathrahk or whatever they're called. At least there's some sort of a chanting backing vocal here, which takes my mind a little off himself on the main vocals. This is called “The broken vow”: well, if I vowed never to listen to this album again it would be a vow I would keep, I can assure you! Oh it's over and plunged right into the next track with very little if any discernible difference I can see. This is at least one of those short tracks, so not long to go now and it'll be over, and I'll be that much closer to the end of this aural assault.

Suggestions of some sort of melodic guitar riff trying to break through there at the beginning of “Heaven in her arms” (which this is not) but either the guitarist changed his mind or it was all just a little tease, as it's proceeded with the general hammer-out-your-teeth riff that's been more or less prevalent throughout this album so far. Slowing down there near the very end and into “Phoenix in flight”, which actually rather surprisingly is one of the best tracks I've heard on the album (not saying much I know) with some powerful melodic chords and a kind of dramatic almost orchestral feel to it. Picking up on a really nice guitar riff straight out of a power metal album. By contrast, “Phoenix in flames”, mercifully the shortest track at forty-seven seconds is just a chaotic mess: no guitars even, just pounding, rolling drums and himself screaming his head off. “Thaw” is supposed to be one of the more “melodic” pieces; don't see it myself, not yet anyway. Nah, just another noisy, chaotic mess to these ears. Hear a little melody in the guitar there actually, now you come to mention it, around the final minute. Meh. Thankfully that brings us to the last track. Not thankfully, it means I have to suffer eleven minutes and thirty-four seconds more of this before I'm finished.

Hmm. It's started with a surprisingly slow and doomy guitar that actually has quite a bit of melody in it, and now we're halfway through and it's not the worst thing I've ever heard. I had hoped it would go in quickly, and it kind of is. I must say, the ending of this is just gorgeous, which is not an adjective I ever thought I would be applying to this album. Nevertheless, I have to admit Batty scored with this one; turned me off metalcore forever, so well done man, you got me in the end.

I think we can all agree this has been one hell of a fight though, and even if I go down at the end (shut it!) I can hold my head high, having survived three out of four attempts by Batty to grind me down. Broken, bent, bowed but not defeated, I leave the Torture Chamber for another year. Will it be back next year? Who knows? Time will tell. Right now I'm off to listen to something inoffensive, like Chris Rea or ELO, or, yes you guessed it, Genesis! My soul needs to heal, and I have a discography to begin.

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