Trollheart

Uh, where the hell am I? What's with the dripping water, and why is it so COLD? And dark. Ugh. This is not a nice place! Man, my head hurts. And why do my arms feel like they're chained to posts above my head --- oh. Because they're chained to posts above my head. Wait a minute: it's starting to come back to me. A PM. A threat. A ransom. Something about my prized Marillion collection and a chainsaw.... oh crap. He did it, didn't he? And here I am, chained up and at his mercy --- what the hell am I wearing? Feels really tight and stretchy, apart from my legs which feel ... bare? Is that a skirt I'm wearing? If so, it's really tight. And short. And I feel like I'm standing on ... high heels? Holy mother of God! What's this in front of me? Why does my chest feel so ... prominent? And my hair was never this long!

I don't believe this. After years of calling me a girl, he's used his dark powers and actually turned me into one! Well, at least it feels like I'm a curvy, sexy one. That's something. Full pouting red lips, long soft golden hair, long legs and a tight arse. Well it feels tight. And smooth. Smoother than mine ever was. Soft hands too, and you know, there's a lot to be said for a really well stacked rack...

My mind has begun to wander in a certain direction when suddenly a dark, cackling voice cuts through the foetid air, and with the barely restrained glee of the madman crows
“GOOD MORNING MISS TROLLHEART! GOOD TO SEE YOU'RE FINALLY AWAKE!”

I start to demand what he has done to me, then realise that I'm gagged and can say nothing. Oh how very cliched bondage of you, Batlord!

“YES!” says he, as if reading my mind. “TIS I, THE BATLORD, AND YOU ARE IN MY POWER. THROUGH THE MAGIC OF DARK METAL I HAVE WOVEN A SPELL WHICH HAS CHANGED YOUR PHYSICAL FEATURES INTO THAT OF A HOT CHICK, THOUGH YOUR MIND REMAINS THE SAME, FILLED WITH IMAGES OF TWENTY-FOUR MINUTE KEYBOARD SOLOS, INTROSPECTIVE GUITARS AND LYRICS ABOUT DRAGONS AND WIZARDS. YOU KNOW, PROGRESSIVE ROCK?”

I can hear the spit as he snarls the phrase, then cackles again.

“I'VE ALWAYS CALLED YOU A GIRL”, he goes on, “AND NOW YOU ARE ONE. MUST BE LIKE A DREAM COME TRUE FOR YOU. I KNOW WHAT YOU GET UP TO IN YOUR SPARE TIME.”

I try to shake my head but it's no use, he has that in some sort of a vise and I can't move it. Nor can I speak, so my silence is taken for assent. Damn him. You know? His nasty voice comes through the darkness again, cutting into my soul, freezing my heart.

“HEY, AT LEAST I WAS MAGNANIMOUS ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU LOOK SMOKIN' HOT!”
he offers, and I hear his lascivious grin somewhere off in the darkness, but close. I shudder. I get the uncomfortable feeling that he's undressing me with his eyes. Little perv. Can't a girl possess fine cans and a great ass without people looking at her as if she's a piece of --- damn! Focus, Troll! Focus! His spell is getting in on you, making you think you ARE a girl, making you think like one. You are NOT a girl. You are a man. You are Trollheart. I repeat it like a mantra, then am rather surprised to hear an almost identical chant coming in a low mutter:

“IT'S NOT A GIRL, IT'S TROLLHEART. IT'S NOT A GIRL, IT'S TROLLHEART. FOCUS, BATLORD! DAMN, BUT SHE'S SO FINE! I'D LIKE TO ---- ARRRGH! NOTAGIRLTROLLHEART. NOTAGIRLTROLLHEART. NOTAGIRLTROLLHEART.”

He says it faster now, as if it's a spell that will protect him, and I allow myself an inward smile. Hoist on his own petard. But I'm the one who's been hoist, and I'm completely defenceless, especially in this girly body. He seems to recover his composure. His voice, when it speaks again, is now devoid of the slight shake and the half-stammer that denotes the nervousness or embarrassment suffered by a man when in the presence of a beautiful woman. (Not a girl. Trollheart. Not a girl. Trollheart.)

“LET'S GET ON WITH THIS”
he snaps testily, as if growing bored, or trying to sound like he is.
“I'VE GOT KYLIE MINOGUE --- I MEAN, BRUTAL DEATH METAL --- ALBUMS TO LISTEN TO. CAN'T SPEND ALL MY TIME DOWN HERE. NOW, AS WE AGREED, AND IN RETURN FOR THE SAFETY OF YOUR STUPID MARILLION COLLECTION, YOU ARE NOW A GIRL. AND LIKE ALL GOOD PSYCHOS WITH A HELPLESS GIRL AT THEIR MERCY, I'M GONNA TORTURE YOU. WITH MUSIC. HEADPHONES HAVE BEEN GLUED TO YOUR EARS SO YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LISTEN. THIS IS THE FIRST ALBUM YOU'RE GONNA LISTEN TO, AND I WANT A PROPER REPORT OR YOU'LL STAY LIKE THAT FOREVER. AND YOU WOULDN'T WANT THAT, WOULD YOU? I SAID, WOULD YOU? (Pause) “OH YEAH, I FORGOT. YOU CAN'T RESPOND. WELL, I'LL JUST ASSUME THAT YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO REMAIN AS A GIRL FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. WHO WOULD? I MEAN, THAT CREAMY, SILKY SOFT SKIN, THOSE RUBY-RED LIPS, THE SOFT, SULTRY EYES, THOSE AMAZING CANS, THAT FIRM ASS --- UM. WHERE WAS I? OH YEAH: WHO'D WANT TO STAY LIKE THAT FOREVER,EH?”

“SO LET ME JUST PLUG IN MY SPECIAL AMP THAT GOES UP TO ELEVEN --- GOT A LOAN OF THAT FROM YER MAN FROM SPINAL TAP --- AND GET YOU STARTED. WELCOME TO”

In addition to making me listen to this crap, Batty has also ensured that I do my usual research, so thanks to him I’ve had to read about this guy digging up worms and eating them live on stage! Yum! I don’t think! Well, if this is an attempt to shock or scare, or even repulse me, we’ll find out whether or not it worked in .. I guess thirty-odd minutes, as that’s how long this album runs for.


None so vile --- Cryptopsy --- 1996 (Wrong Again)

The second album from the band and the last to feature lead vocalist Lord Worm (yes I’m getting this from Wiki: where do you think I get 90% of my information on bands I don’t know?) for a few years, the few reviews I’ve glanced through for “None so vile” leave me in no doubt that not only am I going to hate this album --- and by extension, the band --- but I probably won’t even be able to understand it.

Look, let’s just get this over with and then I can move on to the next album, ok? We've agreed on four albums total, but I’m looking forward to this about as much as getting a double root canal while Boyzone plays in the background, but I guess I'm in no position to argue. Or do anything really, other than struggle --- uselessly, of course --- against my bonds as this terrible --- well, what shall we call it? Music? Sound? Noise? Noise seems generous, but let's go with that --- pours into my poor, undeserving ears.

Scary noises and whispers presage the opening track, “Crown of horns”. Now when yer man Worm comes in with the vocal (and I’m being very generous in describing it as such) I thought for a moment it was a dog barking, then maybe an ape, but no, it’s a man. The drumming is blitzkrieg and the guitars race along faster than a lot --- but not everything --- I’ve heard to date. These vocals are ridiculous though: how can anyone make out even a word this guy is growling? Somebody in another review --- a glowing one --- mentioned that these songs are all memorable. Well, I certainly won’t remember this, unless it comes back to haunt me in my nightmares!

Nah, still jsut sounds like a dog barking at intruders. So that's track one, and I can feel my teeth beginning to shake and fall out of my mouth (not so pretty now, huh?) and blood run down out of my nose, pooling on the massive heaving mounds of my .... focus, Troll! Focus! Did I hear an echo of that incantation in the distance? A quick glance at the Healthometer to see how I'm doing:

CURRENT HEALTH: 90%

Now we’re into the second track, not much different really to my ears, though the guitar is a little more to the fore in the charmingly titled “Slit your guts.” Sigh. This stuff makes Slayer sound like Journey! I can’t comment on anything because it’s all just one big wall of noise and speed. Let me see if I can cut through it to say something positive. Guitarist Jon Levasseur is certainly a master of his craft, but I haven’t yet heard any solos which I think would help me perhaps appreciate this more. If at all.

At this point I’m going to refrain from making any more comments about Lord Worm’s (ahem) vocals, because there’s nothing complimentary I can say about them. Instead, I’m going to ignore them and see if I can concentrate on the music. One thing you can say about it is that it’s fast, blindingly so, and hammer heavy, but at least it does appear to be in tune. It’s hard to distinguish one track from another. But we're through with track two and how's my health?

CURRENT HEALTH: 84%

“Graves of the fathers” could be “Slit your guts”, or any other song on this album I would think. Drummer Flo Mounier winds up into some sort of solo, which is mildly interesting, and the guitar hammers on as we’re into “Dead and dripping”.

CURRENT HEALTH: 80%

Not sure if I'm getting used to this, or my nervous system is just shutting down, but my health still appears to be holding up. I can feel a warm trickle running down my legs which I can only hope is blood, and my skull feels like someone has it in a vise: oh wait, someone does. Yeah but it's pounding like fuck. Beginning to wonder how much more of this I can take!

But on we go, and there’s little I can say except that suddenly there’s a slowdown in “Dead and dripping” as the band go into almost Doom Metal mode, but it doesn’t last and we’re back hurtling along with “Benedictine convulsions”.

CURRENT HEALTH: 71%.

That was a big drop. I think my bowels are beginning to --- yeah, they're emptying. Oh great. Yeah. This all sounds the same to me. Did someone just ring a bell? Weird. Now it’s slowed very slightly, but picking up speed again. No surprise there then. Well, only three tracks to go. It’s gonna seem like a long twelve minutes! Twelve minutes of intense agony. What’s next? What suitably horrible title have they got for the next slab of --- oh right: “Phobophile”. I guess that means someone who can’t stand the light. WHAT THE FUCK!!! A piano passage? A fucking gentle piano passage? Have I crossed into another album by mistake? Soft acoustic guitar? Oh right: there’s the wormish one and the guitars juut kicked seven bells out of me again. I see what they did, very clever. Make me lower my defences then move in for the kill. Not cool, guys! Bet Batty had a good laugh envisaging that happening!

Honestly, I’ve heard more melody listening to belching, or a pack of wild dogs, or a car crash. This is terrible. Although there’s a solo now near the end of “Phobophile”, but it doesn’t last long,

CURRENT HEALTH: 89%

Hah! Although meant to trick me, that gentle piano bit gave me back a lot of my health, and I can feel my buttocks unclenching and my skin beginning to heal slightly as my strength returns. Woo-hoo! I am Woman, hear me --- (Not a girl. Trollheart. Not a girl. Trollheart)

And we’re back to the general noise. Two more to get through and the penultimate track is “Lichmistress”, not that it matters: everything sounds the same to me. I can imagine when these guys were practicing in their parents’ garage as youngsters and the father or mother yelled “What is that? It’s just noise!” Should have listened to them. Well that’s my opinion anyway.

CURRENT HEALTH: 82%

Delighted to see the closer is nearly five minutes long, but at this point it’s all just passing by in a blur of sound and fury, so who really cares? Even the title, “Orgiasatic disembowlement”, sounds preferable than listening to this. It has a slightly more marching rhythm for a short time, then descends into the same sort of thing I’ve been enduring for the last half hour. Lord preserve us. I can say no more. I think my water just broke. Oh no wait, I'm not pregnant. Nor a girl. But then what ---? Oh. Right. Part of my intestine just fell out. Nice.

CURRENT HEALTH: 60%

TRACKLISTING

1. Crown of horns
2. SLit your guts
3. Graves of the fathers
4. Dead and dripping
5. Benedectine convulsions
6. Phobophile
7. Lichmistress
8. Orgiastic disembowelment

Well, despite my misivings and fears I'm still alive, mostly, to The Batlord's eternal annoyance no doubt, though I will need some surgery. And a lot of cleaning up. I'm certainly tired: standing on high heels with your arms stretched high above your head certainly exhausts a girl (Not a girl. Trollheart) and my mouth is dry after I spit out the blood that has accumulated there. My vision is blurry but at least I still have my eyes. Looking down, I'm surprised to find that far from being damaged, my boobs have grown even larger. Batlord and his fascination for porno!

So I've surprised myself --- and my torturer perhaps --- by making it through this – ahem – album with all or most of my body intact. And what a body! (Not a girl. Trollheart. Not a girl. Trollheart) Mind you, I then remember that at the end of the album there’s a sample from “Army of darkness” which sneers “Go ahead and run! Run home and cry to momma!” Hey! My mam’s dead, you insensitive jerks! I can't help it. Right now I'm a girl, and that just makes the tears roll down. In the darkness I hear an evil chuckle: Batty has managed at least to make me cry, and so must surely chalk that up as a small victory. Prick.

“SO” his voice floats out of the cold darkness of the cell, “YOU SURVIVED CRYPTOPSY. WELL DONE. BUT THAT WAS A MERE HORS DOO – WHORES DU --- HURS DOOV --- STARTER, MY PRETTY. (GAHH! NOT A GIRL! TROLLHEART! GET IT TOGETHER, BATTY!) AHEM. THE NEXT ONE WILL TEST YOUR RESOLVE TO ITS LIMITS. TO MAKE SURE YOU GET THE FULL EFFECT --- HOTTUS REANIMATORUS METTALUM! --- I'VE REPAIRED YOUR BODY --- AND WHAT A BODY --- STOP IT, BATTY! NOT A GIRL. TROLLHEART! ---- SO THAT YOU'LL BE IN TIT --- SORRY, TIP TOP CONDITION TO FACE YOUR NEXT ORDEAL. I'M OFF TO THE LIBRARY TO DOWNLOAD IT. BACK SOON, WITH A REAL NIGHTMARE FOR YOU!”

I hear his footsteps fade away, and up. Up. I must be in a dungeon. Yeah. Great bit of deduction there, girl! A torture chamber in a dungeon. Who would have imagined it? He'll be gone for a few hours; he says he's downloading an album but we all know he's gone to watch internet porn, so I have some time. If I can just manage to work this strap loose ... what the hell's that?

GAS!

Oh crap. Should have known he would have a plan to keep me from ... feeling drowsy .... keep me from ... yawn ... from trying to ... can't keep eyes .... open ....

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

After having read all of that, I feel that it is in fact I who has been violated.

__________________

Trollheart

Meh, think what you like. This is how I choose to interpret the lyric, knowing nothing of Slayer anyway and piecing together what I do know of them with the history behind the lyric in this song.
Exactly as I intended...

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

One of the strongest influences on my early metal life --- if not the strongest --- was of course Iron Maiden, but a few other bands really impressed me and got me into the genre too --- Saxon, Tygers of Pan-Tang, Motorhead, Diamond Head, Sabbath ---- but without question the first two albums from Dio totally floored me. I consider Dio a real case of reaching the pinnacle of their career early, with the first two albums just about as close to perfect as you can get, the third something of a disappointment, the fourth a real flop and with a pretty steady falloff then for more or less the rest of their discography. There are a few bright spots --- “Killing the dragon”, “Magica” --- but by and large I feel Dio “got it” with their first two albums and never really properly recovered the feeling I got from them after that.

So it’s no surprise that some of



comes from RJD, and as I already reviewed “Holy diver” last year, this time it’s the turn of the second album, a worthy successor to that incandescent debut.

The last in line --- Dio ---1984 (Warner Bros)

It’s perhaps an appropriate title, as after this, for me, Dio would struggle with good albums and would never really attain the glory they put out on their first two efforts. “Sacred heart” had some decent songs and was not a bad album, but was not a patch on either of these, and “Dream evil” had maybe two good songs. After that the rot really seemed to set in, and Dio in my opinion did not recover for another sixteen years, and even then I really only consider their 2002 penultimate album “Killing the dragon” as an example of them getting back to their best. But this was 1984 and coming off the back of the tremendous “Holy diver” (which still rightly holds a place on most people’s list of best metal albums ever) Dio were faced with the dreaded “second album syndrome”.

“Holy diver” had burst onto the scene like a flaming sword, slaying all in its path. It’s not like Ronnie James Dio was an unknown; he was famous both for his stellar work with Rainbow and his later almost regeneration of Black Sabbath, but this was him on his own, with an exciting new young guitarist, and “Holy diver” blew everything out of the water on its release. But the usual problem then surfaced: having created perhaps the metal album not only of the eighties but quite possibly of the century, Dio were faced with the task of following it up.

Thankfully, “The last in line” fulfils that brief admirably. It’s no “Holy diver” of course, but it’s a powerful followup and I don’t think there’s even one bad track on it. In some ways, the success of “The last in line” is somewhat down to the fact that it mirrors the structure of the debut. The opening track is a loud fast rocker, the second not only a slower cruncher, but also the title track, as was the case on “Holy diver”. This is then followed, on both albums, by two fast rockers and though “One night in the city” doesn’t quite measure up to “Don’t talk to strangers” there are similarities. Side two opens on both albums with another fast rocker, although there the structure begins to diverge a little. Nevertheless, there’s a commercial, airplay-worthy song on side two of each album and the main riff melody in “Rainbow in the dark” can be heard ghosting through “Mystery”.

Both albums have nine tracks, and in the world of vinyl each had five on side one and four on side two. Each album ends with a slow cruncher, though the one that closes this album is more epic and dramatic than “Shame on the night”. Both albums are just over forty minutes long and both were released in the late summer, May for “Holy diver” and July for this one.

So there are a lot of similarities between the two, which stand head and shoulders above anything in the Dio catalogue, and though many of these would be continued on down through the next two albums --- the rot, for me, set in with “Dream evil” but really came to the fore with “Lock up the wolves”, which was --- interestingly or not --- the first Dio album to have more than nine tracks --- I definitely feel the exit of Vivian Campbell after “Sacred heart” had a detrimental effect on future albums. After the disappointing “Dream evil” I stopped caring about Dio, and only got back into them for my special on the anniversary of Ronnie’s passing. If you read that article you’ll see my belief was that in general I had not missed much.

But this is the album we’re concerned with now, and it opens on “We rock”, as Dio set down the marker and roar a triumphant “We’re back!” to the fans, the song careening along on Vivian Campbell’s screaming guitar and driven on Carmine Appice’s pounding drumbeat. The thundering bass of Jimmy Bain adds its inimitable mark before Ronnie comes in with the vocal, in full flight even as he begins. The song powers along and doesn’t really let up at all. A great solo from Campbell sets the scene for the album; easy to see why he had no trouble finding work after a falling-out with the boss in 1985.

After that initial assault things slow down for the title track, with an almost medieval, acoustic guitar intro leading into a gentle vocal from Ronnie, perhaps fooling you into thinking this may already be a ballad. It isn’t. On the word “home” in the final line of the introductory verse the power kicks up as the band pile in, Dio gets rougher with the vocal and we’re into a dark, storming cruncher which owes rather a lot to “Heaven and Hell” by Black Sabbath, another of Dio’s own compositions, and to Rainbow’s “Stargazer”.

A heavy breathing sound introduces “Breathless”, which ups the tempo, though not as fast as the track which follows. There’s some great guitar work from Campbell here, and of course as ever Ronnie slips in a reference to his favourite natural illusion, the rainbow. Powerful, authoritative drumming from Appice too but as ever it’s the near-flawless voice of RJD that carries the song and demands your attention. The fastest track on the album, “I speed at night” is appropriately titled, with Vivian Campbell putting in one of his most fretburning performances to date. Things slow down again for “One night in the city”, another cruncher, almost a love song of sorts, though not a ballad (there aren’t any on this album), the rhythm a sort of triumphant, marching, defiant one as two “children of the night” face the world and explore their love --- ”One night in the city/ One night looking pretty” --- even if it is doomed.

If there is a pinnacle in this album, that’s where I place it. Which is not to say that the rest of the tracks are bad; they just seem in general a little below par compared to the ones that have preceded them, that is until we hit the closer. “Evil eyes” is another fast rocker, but it seems a little derivative, reminding me in places both of “We rock” and “Stand up and shout”. Ronnie references one of his songs with Rainbow, “Catch the rainbow”, when he sings ”Do you ever think about/ The way I caught the rainbow?”.

Some uptempo, bubbly synth lines from Claude Schnell, brought in to handle all keyboards, though up to now he has been to me conspicuous by his absence. Nonetheless, employing a keyboard player is a departure from the debut, where keys duties were split between Bain and Dio himself. This time I assume each wanted to concentrate on their own singular instrument, and with a voice like Ronnie’s I think it was a good idea for him not to be distracted from utilising that to its fullest extent. The keys definitely add something to the song. Continuing into “Mystery”, Schnell’s keys certainly take control here, setting down the whole riff in the kind of way “Rainbow in the dark” would not have been the same without. I find this quite a commercial song, and think it would have been a good single --- oh look! It was.

I have nothing much to say about “Eat your heart out”. If this album has one duff track, this is it. The lyric is awful --- ”Eat your heart out/ You’ve been a bad bad girl/ You’ve been hungry all your life/ So eat it out!” --- yeah. It’s also a very basic melody and while it certainly does not spoil the album, it’s one track I would tend to skip if playing it all the way through, except here, as I need to review all tracks. But the album rallies at the end, coming back with perhaps the strongest closer for an album featuring Ronnie since Rainbow’s “A light in the black”. With a spooky, eerie synth line and wind noises from Schnell (well, from his keyboard, not from his --- oh forget it!), then a deceptively happy keyboard riff we plunge into the epic “Egypt (The chains are on)”.

The song envisions the gods of Egypt as aliens arriving to enslave the population --- ”The strange ones came/ And the people knew/ That the chains were on” and allows our Ronnie to crowbar in another reference to rainbows: ”You see them walking on the water/ See them flying through the sky/ They were frightening in the darkness/ They had rainbows in their eyes” It’s a big, punchy, grindy rhythm with more than a touch of Zep’s “Kashmir” about it. The song of course gives RJD free rein to indulge in his penchant for mythological and fantasy lyrics, and takes us back to 1976 when he crooned the story of the mad wizard in “Stargazer”.

Schnell runs out a fine keyboard passage in the middle as Campbell dials back on the guitar for a short moment before cutting loose one more time and treating us to a superb solo. Though he would play on “Sacred heart” his heart would not be in it, and differences of opinion between he and Ronnie would lead to the man claiming of Vinnie that he just “wasn’t there” for the album. Shortly afterwards Campbell would be given his marching orders, and an era would come to an end.

TRACKLISTING

1. We rock
2. The last in line
3. Breathless
4. I speed at night
5. One night in the city
6. Evil eyes
7. Mystery
8. Eat your heart out
9. Egypt (The chains are on)

I don’t want to keep harping on about it, but this really does mark both the pinnacle and the beginning of the slide into mediocrity for Dio. I have never seen a band before start with such promise and then fade away so quickly. Although they recovered a little with “Magica” in 2000 and its follow up in 2002, Ronnie soon expressed a desire to link back up with his former Black Sabbath mates and formed Heaven and Hell, who only recorded the one album before his untimely death in 2010.

I hesitate to disrespect his memory, and his passing left a void in my heart, as it did I’m sure in that of all his fans and in just about everyone connected to the world of rock and Metal, and the wider music community. But what can’t be ignored is that, while getting back to basics with “Killing the dragon” and to a degree “Master of the moon”, which turned out to be the final Dio album, the band were unlikely to ever reach the heights they did with these two albums. Constant lineup changes, weak albums and tensions between band members made it hard to see them ever returning to the glory days. Had Ronnie recovered, who know what might have happened? Perhaps he would have turned it around. Perhaps he could have convinced Vivian Campbell to return. We’ll never know.

But as it stands, if nothing else, the first two albums remain as a testament to what Dio could and did achieve, and will forever be assured of their place in the Metal Hall of Fame, and in my own heart.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Got a double bill from Brazil (hey, that rhymes!) for ya today, as we move closer to the end of the first week of Metal Month II.

So we've done death, we've done thrash and we've done progressive metal bands from Brazil. Why not throw in some Folk Metal? I don't know too much about Lothloryen, and unfortunately their official website does not have an English option, which is I think a mistake. They're not on Wiki either so all I can assume is that their name comes from a respelling of the mystical enchanted wood in “Lord of the Rings”. Other than that?

Well they've been together, it seems, since 2002 and have released four albums in that time, their latest coming out this year. It's the one prior to that which I'm going to review here. Why? I don't know: I just like the title. You know what I'm like. Also, their current one seems to refer back to their second, with the titles very similar, and I don't want to get into the second half of a story or anything, or suddenly realise you really need to hear the previous album before you can review this one. So as far as I can see, this is a standalone (though I could be wrong there) and so it's here we begin.


Raving souls society --- Lothloryen --- 2012 (Shinigawa Records)

An eerie, almost horror-film beginning with piano and dark synth sets the scene in “First raving steps”, with what sounds like cello joining the mix, then electric guitar and marching drums erupt across the melody, and as it's quite short --- less than three minutes --- I assume it's an instru --- no it's not. Here comes the vocal, and very clear it is too, though here you can certainly detect the Brazilian accent of singer Daniel Felipe. He's one of those vocalists who doesn't play an instrument, concentrating only on his singing, so there are five other bandmembers to pick up any slack, with the usual quartet of guitar, bass, drums and keys, as well as a second guitarist, and you can hear the effect even in the opening. Very epic.

With the title it has, you'd not be surprised to find this album has insanity as its theme, and indeed the next track is called “Face your insanity”. Later we'll hear “A tale of lunacy” as well as “Sun of delerious”, but as the second track ends, with some native language lines thrown in which I of course can't translate, we're into “When madness calls”, with a big racing guitar line and galloping percussion. Meh, but so far I'm finding it all pretty much the same. At least the next track opens with some weird glockenspiel or something before bursting into more guitar. The title is certainly odd: “Hypnerotomachia” (nearly said Hypnotoad there --- Futurama in-joke); not a clue what it means. Let's check the lyric and see if there's any clue. Nope.

Well there's a female vocal joining, but I see no credit for such. Wonder if it's anyone I know? Nice voice anyway. The story seems to follow a semi-mythic tale of the pursuit of a nymph --- perhaps it's our old mate Orpheus, perhaps not. Maybe Pan, who knows? --- and I guess that's where the female voice comes in. Blinding guitar solo as the song suddenly ramps up. “Temples of sand” seems to concern, maybe, the Crusades, with lines like ”Fighting a mad war/ By the god's name” and ”Where's the Pope now/ To say the truth?” and that female vocal is taking part again, though it would seem just as a backup singer this time.

There's a very tellling line when the soldier in the song laments ”How could God's voice/ Be this slaughter and tears/ To free His land?/ Why does he need/ Gold and temples of fear?” with a darkly intoned answer, presumably from the Crusaders: ”Satisfy our greed!” And so it was. As I mentioned long ago in my review of Chris de Burgh's “Crusader” album, the “holy warriors” mostly fought for God's forgiveness --- for the sins they had yet to commit! --- and more often than not, for land and for riches. There was nothing really noble about them, and the soldier in this song is beginning to realise that now, when it's too late. Cool song.

Huge guitar and drum assault takes us to “A tale of lunacy” and it really is a frenetic song, hurtling along but always under control. Seems to be an anti-war song, with the classic line ”Make war so you'll have peace.” Indeed. There are a lot of hints in the lyric that this is actually about the rise of Nazism, but I'm not certain. It would appear that “To live forever” is the ballad, though it starts oddly, with what sounds like falling rain and an engine (motorcycle) moving away. It's a nice change of pace when it gets going, good keyboard work there from Leo Godde, though it really plays more like an AOR or melodic metal ballad. But it's nice, and as I say it's good to take a breath.

And continuing in that vein, “1314” is a clever little instrumental with a big electronic synth as its backbone, almost new wave in style, then we're off with “Burning Jacques”, a very dramatic introduction which I really like on synth then the guitar rocks it up. The lyric is pretty abstract and I have no idea what it's about, but there's a good instrumental intro up to about the second minute, and it features a somewhat softer vocal, although I think possibly there may be two singers on this. Great hook in this, and I'd list it as one of the standouts. Lovely piano solo with what sounds like cello joining it. Hard and heavy then for “Sun of delerious”, which references what I guess to be Egypt and I think may be about Moses --- ”From the star he was/ Born to become king/ He tried to lead people/ Out of the dark” --- and again utilises that double vocal.

A tale of leavetakings and farewells, bittersweet memories and regrets, “My old tavern” closes the album, sort of like a minstrel's lay with a very folky/medieval feel to it. Bit of a semi-celtic idea to it too, and it's a nice simple way to end what has turned out to be, after my initial reservations, a pretty complicated, well-written and versatile album.

TRACKLISTING

1. First raving steps
2. Face your insanity
3. When madness calls
4. Hypnerotomachia
5. Temples of sand
6. A tale of lunacy
7. To live forever
8. 1314
9. Burning Jacques
10. Sun of delerious
11. My old tavern

An interesting album from an interesting band. Not quite what I had expected, especially given the LOTR-inspired name of the band, and not the best of this subgenre I've ever listened to, but very pleasant, and an accomplished effort.


Pop quiz, hotshot! Who was the very first thrash metal band? Slayer you say? No, their first album didn’t hit till 1983. Metallica then? No, although general history does ascribe that honour to the band from LA, if you head down into Mexico, further south past Panama and down towards Belem in Brazil, you’ll definitely get a different answer from a band there called Stress. They’ve been together since 1974, a full seven years before Mustaine, Ulrich and Hetfield formed their band, and also Stress released their first album in 1982, a year before “Kill ‘em all” changed the way we think about metal. They also have the undisputed distinction of being the very first ever Heavy Metal band in Brazil.

So why aren’t they feted as the godfathers of thrash metal, instead of the honour going to Metallica? Well, two reasons: the first, and most obvious one, is that they’re from South, not North America, and the second is that they sing in their native Portuguese. Also, they’ve only had three albums in their career so far, with the third released all the way back in 1996, as Metallica churned out their sixth album of what would go on to be nine(ten if you include Lulu, which I don’t), and who already had one box set and a live album behind them. Hard to compete with that.

Stress began life as Pingu D’Agua (no I don’t know what it means) in 1974 but changed their name in 1977 to Stress, just as Motorhead released their second album and while Tom Araya was still a medical worker. Of course, I didn’t know of them either, until this week, but I wanted to make sure I didn’t close this section of “The International Language of Metal” without taking a look at at least one band who sang in a language other than English, and here we are.


Stress --- Stress --- 1982 (Independent)

There are only eight tracks on this album, and it runs for a total of a mere thirty-six minutes and change, but given how influential it should have been, and since it’s as mentioned the first album by a Brazilian Heavy Metal band, I guess we should not underestimate its importance, both to the Thrash Metal scene in general and to Brazilian Metal in particular.

You can hear the big, grindy, dark thrash sound immediately as “Sodoma e Gomorra” (anyone?) opens, and it rockets along on fierce guitar and pounding drums before vocalist Roosevelt “Bala” Cavalcante screams in with the vocal. To me, he sounds a little like a much punchier Ian Gillan around the time of Deep Purple’s “In rock”, and he certainly has a powerful voice and likes to scream a lot but I feel sure if he was singing in English I’d be able to understand what he’s singing. Guitars are handled by Pedro Lobão, and he is an animal! “Fast” Eddie Clarke would love him! Oddly enough for a Thrash band, Stress employed a keyboard player, though I don’t hear him in this song at least.

It’s a real rip-roaring fretfest that flies along and opens the album well, then “A chachina” keeps the volume and the speed high. Honestly, at this point if there’s a band Stress remind me of it’s Motorhead, that same driving, pounding, speeding rhythm, a heads-down-go-for-it mentality that would surely serve them well, and made them household names in Brazil, though sadly not beyond their homeland. Another fine solo from Pedro, but again I can’t hear any keyboards. If he’s there, Leonardo Rendo is not making himself known. Hmm. I might be hearing him now in the intro to “2031” --- oh yeah, there he is now, making his mark with a big uptempo solo. Better late than never I guess.

This has a real boogie feel to it, kind of reminds me a little of “Starstruck” by Rainbow. A nice boppy solo there in the middle as Rendo makes up for lost time, then Pedro fires up for another smouldering rifftastic solo. I’d say this is my favourite track so far. The longest track, just under six minutes and apparently their most successful, “Oraculo do Judas” (doesn’t take too much to translate it, does it?) starts off hard and crunchy, with growling guitar and slower, almost jazzy at times percussion. Some nearly Plantish singing from Bala, not that surprising as they used to cover Led Zep songs before they began writing their own. A really evocative, as opposed to just shredding, solo from Lobão as the song pounds on with a real sense of purpose.

Then in the fourth minute it slows down almost to a crawl, evidencing influences of Doom Metal or maybe Sludge. Another superb solo takes us out and into “Stressencefalodrama”, which I’m reliably informed is a protest song against the policies of the Brazilian government, particularly torture and censorship. Stress were continually in trouble with the authorities over their lyrics, many of which had to be rewritten before they could be played live or on the air. The song is underpinned by what sounds like a hard brass line on Rendo’s synth and raises the tempo again, though I wouldn’t place it in the same speed group as Slayer or Metallica. I don’t know whether the fact that this song has their band name in the title is significant, but if not then it’s quite a coincidence. If anyone speaks Portuguese maybe you can drop me a line to let me know what, if anything, Stress means in English? Other than the obvious.

There’s almost a little sense of the celtic in the opening of “O viciado” (to victory?) and it cannons along nicely, not a massive amount of vocal which is always good when you’re listening to a foreign language, but what there is is certainly laced with anger and power. “Mate o rieu” keeps the tempo up nicely, some great guitar from Lobão, but again, other than those two flurries in “2031” and “Oraculo do Judas”, there’s been little or no discernible contribution from Leonard Rendo that I can hear. Sort of wonder why he’s there. It’s a real fretfest and rocks along with great energy, taking us to the closer (already?) “O lixo”, which literally carries through the very same closing guitar riff into the new song.

It slows down though, and it looks like we got a cruncher to bring the album to a close. Sort of blues feel to it, then it seems I’m wrong as it suddenly kicks up as we approach the final minute, um, then slows down again. Madre de dos dios! as they probably say over there. Well, despite the (many) tempo changes it’s still a good closer.

TRACKLISTING

1. Sodoma e Gomorra
2. A Chacina
3. 2031
4. Oraculo do Judas
5. Stressencefalodrama
6. O viciado
7. Mate o rieu
8. O lixo

I’m not certain you could compare these guys to Metallica; not certain if that would be a fair comparison anyway, given the gulf in resources between the two. But there’s no doubt that Stress do appear to have sown the seeds of the thrash movement, even if they did so hidden away from the world down there in Brazil. It’s a constant bugbear with Balo that his band is not given the recognition he believes they deserve, but it’s easy to see why. Did you know of a band called Stress before I wrote this? Having read this (assuming you did) do you now care?

The fact is, to the victor goes the spoils and history is written by the winners. And in every facet of the genre, Metallica were and are the winners here. I suppose you could look at it as almost a David vs Goliath sort of thing, or mutter that North America gets the choicest cuts while poor old South America has to be content with the scraps that fall from the table. But any way you slice it (ouch!) the problem boils down to the fact that Stress could not break out past their borders, struggled to attain recognition thanks to a repressive government and in the end seem to have faded into the musical mist of Heavy Metal history.

But on the basis of this album at least, we should perhaps raise a glass, if not an iron-studded fist, to the men who were, in all probabilty, the real instigators of the thrash scene and not only the first Heavy Metal band in Brazil, but quite possibly the first ever Thrash Metal band in the world.

… And justice for all?

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018