The Batlord

So... did I, or did I not rec Danzig to you? I could swear I had.

__________________

Trollheart

To close out this section, I'm really tempted to go back to my friends Orphaned Land, but I think that might be too easy, so instead I'm going to go for these guys, as I see they have a Bandcamp page and they're atmospheric black metal, which is our featured subgenre this year. Also, they come from Upper Galilee, so how much closer to the Holy Land can you get? They don't have an album, only an EP, and it only has four tracks, so this is likely to be a somewhat anticlimactic end to our journey through Israel, but so be it.

... And the Stormwinds Weep in Glory --- Neriglissar

We open on sounds of wind and thunder as rain lashes down on “The old grey tower”, a short, just over one minute in fact, introduction to the EP, with lush keyboards and a hissing whisper which speaks in the darkness before we move into “Demonic exaltation” with a solid keyboard sound and pealing bells, bringing in hammering guitar and drums, with a snarling roar. Then the keys drop back and guitar takes the tune, and it looks like we're in one-man-band territory again, with all instruments and vocals taken by the mysterious Verdigris. It's good stuff, with certainly some elements of symphonic metal thrown in, and there are clean vocals too, courtesy of someone else who can only afford one name, and calls himself Mæstør.

The guitar has almost a power metal feel to it at times, romping along triumphantly and the keyboard really adds to the majestic feel of it. I think the next track has backward masking on it (oh how Satanic!) as something is said which sounds like it may be backwards (if our mate Verdigris is speaking in English, which is by no means certain, though the song titles are all in English) then hard fast heavy guitar is joined by slower, mournful keyboard. An odd juxtapositioning really, not sure it works. Anyway, this is “Path to Alamut” and not as long as the previous song, which ran for over seven minutes. This just clocks in at a mere five and a half. Nice sort of boogie rhythm takes the guitar for a while, the vocals all dark and growly, no idea what he's singing and I have no lyrics.

The last track (yeah, already) is the most symphonic of them all, and the guitar work on “Pulsa denura” is just exquisite, to say nothing of the synth layers. A really great closer, and as I say unfortunately that's it; four tracks only. But if I hear of more from these guys I reckon I'll be tracking it down.

TRACKLISTING

1. The old grey tower
2. Demonic exaltation
3. Path to Alamut
4. Pulsa denura

Final Note:

One thing I have come across (and I was not surprised but was disappointed) is the amount of vitriol there is on YouTube towards Israel. Now, I have no particular love for them myself --- any state that can effectively imprison and then systematically demolish a far smaller, less well-armed one is not really worthy of my respect to be honest --- but I feel the politics should take a back seat when listening to the music. Sure, some of that itself will be political, but to say you won't listen to (as some of the idiots on YT have) their music just because they're Israeli is a gross oversimplification and a case of stereotyping, to say nothing of the practice of tarring all with the one brush.

This is what I kind of set out to tackle with this series: the idea that no matter where you are, (unless you subscribe of course to the bias of certain YouTube commenters, that is) what's going on in your country, who's in power or what the attitude towards music is, Heavy Metal thrives, survives and surmounts the obstacles as men and women refuse to be beaten down and hide their love of this music. In taking these four war-torn countries as the examples for this year, I think I've managed to get a decent idea of how music, and metal in particular, crosses boundaries both geographical and personal, and makes its voice heard even in the darkest of corners.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Isbjørn

I agree with this wholeheartedly.

__________________

Trollheart

So we're just left with one album to do. Batty, I'm had originally decided I would not be tackling SLeep's Holy Mountain as I already endured Sleep thanks to Wpnfire and had no desire to hear any more. Then you convinced me, but sadly time has run out on me and I literally don't have the energy or indeed the time to listen to and review another album. So I'll make you a promise, to review it outside of Metal Month, but for now this is the last one on your list.

Flower of Disease --- Goatsnake --- 2000 (Southern Lord)
Suggested by The Batlord

I remember commenting on how much I liked a Goatsnake track Batty posted a while back, which is probably why he's suggested this album to me. It's the title track that gets us away, with what sounds like backwards masking fading in, then it stops and starts playing the right way around, and there's certainly a bouncy, groovy feel to this that I normally don't get from the little doom metal I have listened to. I wonder if this is the track he posted originally? Sounds familiar. Glad to hear the singer is not a growler, or one who sings into his boots; I can make this out perfectly fine. This rocks, I must say. Oh man! Harmonica! Sweet! And it really works in with the doomy melody somehow. Music is actually speeding up now: I thought the idea of doom metal was to keep it deathly slow? Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

Great solo there to take us out and into “Prayer for a dying” (I'll allow them their grammatical error here, and in the lyric too) which really strides along quite briskly, and into “Easy Greasy” (huh?) which is like no doom metal song I've ever heard. It has a jew's harp, ffs, and the lyric seems to be about drinking and having a good time --- thought this was supposed to be all sorrow and sourness? Sure, there's mention of oblivion and the idea more or less of drinking yourself into your grave, but isn't that the theme of most rock songs? Good heavy guitar driving the riff through the song, vocalist Pete Stahl sounds a little like early Ozzy.

I love the idea of “El Coyote”, as I'm reasonably well versed in Native American mythology, and the harmonica solo at the beginning just really sets the mood. Now, once again the music rocks along, more like the end part of “Black Sabbath” than the opening, and very welcome. “The dealer” then slows things down to what I think of as proper doom pace, almost struggling along, dragging its feet, but the clear vocals help to lift it out of the sludge, and for that I have to thank Stahl, who could have gone down the tried and tested route of doom vocalists, singing into his chest or even growling in a hard-to-understand guttural grunt, but he decided to make his lyrics audible and his vocals intelligible, which, allied to the mostly faster, almost standard metal tempo of Goatsnake's music, makes them a lot easier to get into than some doom bands I have tried (cough) Conan (cough) not naming any names...

But even when they slow down to a doom pace, Goatsnake seem to exhibit a kind of slow blues approach to their songs which lifts them out of the realm of the ordinary, often boring and often crushingly grinding doom metal bands. I admit I have no idea what “A truckload of mamma's muffins” is about (though probably linked in with drugs I assume?) but it sure is good fun. Hold on, let me just repeat that. It's fun. Fun. On a doom metal album? You had better believe it. If Goatsnake are doom, then they're no kind of doom I've ever heard, that's for sure. “Live to die”, despite its doomy title, is another song that's totally outside what I understand to be the doom metal tropes, with an upbeat bluesy guitar and harmonica, and the idea in the lyric of living today cos you might die tomorrow. Wot? No references to mausoleums, the futility of existence or the impossibility of the existence of God? No sharp knives, tortured souls or dark thoughts? Hey, works for me!

The closing track though, and the longest, the eight-minute “The river”, certainly returns to the expected drone and sludge of doom metal, with a more or less despairing lyric about giving up your life to float in the great river, surely a metaphor for suicide. It has dark, crunchy guitar stomping all through it, and even the vocal is more wailed than sung, so if there is a true doom metal song, then this final track is it, in everything: pace, length, vocal, guitar tempo and ideology. It shows that Goatsnake can certainly “doom it up” when they need to.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Flower of disease
2. Prayer for a dying
3. Easy greasy
4. El Coyote
5. The Dealer
6. A truckload of mamma's muffins
7. Live or die
8. The river

I had a feeling when I heard that first track Batty posted that I would like this band, and I definitely do. They put a whole new twist on the idea of doom metal, and to be honest, if I had not seen them definitively described as such I would not have labelled them that myself. Some great vocal work and some truly outside-the-box music, Goatsnake appear to be a band well worth checking out.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

On Goatsnake

They're definitely a doom band in part, but they're also a stoner metal band. Stoner metal is a doom-adjacent genre, with bands often -- very often -- crossing over from one to the other until stoner metal bands are often as much doom as stoner -- Electric Wizard is an excellent example.

Think of stoner metal as being Black Sabbath's "Iron Man", "Black Sabbath", and "Electric Funeral" (doom metal) vs. their material from Master of Reality (stoner metal): not necessarily as slow and plodding, but equally riff-based, and with an often more rock 'n' roll aesthetic.

This is why I wanted you to listen to Sleep's Holy Mountain, even though you didn't like Dopesmoker, as Holy Mountain was very much a stoner doom metal album -- basically a Black Sabbath tribute album made of original songs rather than covers -- whereas Dopesmoker was almost pure doom, bordering on drone, with the stoner influence being much more in the background.

Listening to Holy Mountain is really like listening to a different band. I'm pretty sure the band even used another band member on vocals.


I'm going to rec you Holy Mountain whenever you open recs on your Love/Hate thread. Whether or not you love it, I have no doubt that you'll like it infinitely more than Dopesmoker. I don't know that there is a geographical scene based on stoner metal (though the American South is kind of a hotbed for stoner, since rednecks like to smoke weed), but it would be a good genre for you to explore for the next Metal Month. If so then...

1. Sleep - Holy Mountain
2. Kyuss - Welcome to Sky Valley
3. Down - NOLA
4. Trouble - Trouble
5. Melvins - Stoner Witch (possibly Houdini, but Stoner Witch is more eclectic)


****, that reminds me that I never did a New Orleans sludge metal list...

1. Eyehategod - Take as Needed for Pain (you'll hate it, no questions asked, but it's required listening for NOLA sludge)
2. Corrosion of Conformity - America's Volume Dealer (band originally from Texas, but by this point their sound was sludge/stoner, as they had taken on a member originally from the New Orleans sludge scene)
3. Down - NOLA (if you don't do stoner metal)
4. Crowbar - Crowbar
5. Soilent Green - Sewn Mouth Secrets

If you hadn't already listened to and not liked Acid Bath's When the Kite String Pops then I'd red you that one.

__________________

Trollheart

Last year we had a very distinguished guest reviewer, the man who is probably referenced in more metal songs than anyone else, and I must say, Satan was a blast. So what could we do to top that? Well, get ready to meet his opposite number in every way, the man who keeps the world turning, the man who died for our sins (and I know mine for one are many!) the very Saviour of Humanity,
Jeeeeeeeesssssssus Christ himself!

Wait a minute: I'm getting something in my earpiece.... what's that? Love to come, but can't? Father says no? My roof, my rules, huh? Yeah, I bet that Holy Ghost is the one against it. He's a big jazz fan. Can't see him listening to metal, or wanting anyone else to. So how am I going to get a replacement at this eleventh hour? What? He does? Oh, well that's not too bad is it? Uncommonly decent of him, I say.

So then, ladies and gentlemen, it seems we have a change to the published programme. As the Son of God is not available, he has agreed to send someone in his place whom he says is totally a metalhead and will be delighted to take part. So, put your hands together then (no, no: you need to put your beer down first!) and give a great big Metal Month welcome to ....

The Archangel Gabriel!

Thank you, Trollheart, it's great to be here. And I'm really touched to have been the one selected, cos as you probably know, Michael is the favourite up here. He gets to fight against Satan for God, lead His armies, while I get ... well, let me tell you about the kind of life I have Up There...

I get called into The Big Room (well, we call it that: it's not really huge, but it sounds impressive, and it's where all the major decisions are taken. Plus the guys have Poker Night there every second Thursday) and The Boss sits me down, tells me he has this big mission for me. Me, I get excited. My last real jobs have consisted of explaining what the dreams one of His prophets --- Denny, Donny, David --- I get the names confused --- no, no I'm wrong: Daniel! That's it! Daniel --- yeah, the dreams Daniel had mean. Like, sure, it's important but you know, look up Wikipedia or something guy yeah? Anyhoo, I know it's a sin for an angel to be jealous, but one look at Big Shot Michael, striding into the commons room with his shining sword and his glittering armour, and all the lady angels swooning in his very presence, and you'd be jealous too. Git. It's been, like, millennia man! Give it a rest, already dude! So anyway yeah, I feel a little inferior, and I hope this time The Boss has a decent job for me. I'm ready, I'm willing, I've been pumping iron and running ninety leagues a day, twice round the Pearly Gates and also bench-pressing sixty ton, so I'm in the peak of physical fitness, even for an angel, who is of course always in the peak of physical fitness, has to be. But then, there are peaks and there are peaks, you know what I'm saying?

So what's this job The Almighty has for me? You want to to smite some unbelievers? Burn down a city? Turn someone into a pillar of salt? (I always loved that one, and it was so handy, as the chip shops in Gomorrah NEVER put enough salt on) Hey, maybe you'd like to me lead your armies into battle huh? Michael's getting on in years --- I swear, he's three hundred and fifty thousand if he's a year --- maybe some new blood? But all my hopes and dreams come crashing down when The Boss chuckles, shaking the foundations of Heaven and causing an emergency scramble of the Guild of Angelic Craftsman and Workers, as they fly to effect repairs. God wipes a tear from his eye (it drops down onto the planet Mars, and you silly mortals think that it's evidence there was water there!) and shakes His head. He brings me to the Viewscreen (it doesn't have any other name, but then it is the only portal onto Creation we have, so there's no need for it to be called anything else) and fiddles with the controls (well, He doesn't fiddle with the controls. He's Much Too Important for that. Plus He's terrible with machines, can't even figure out how to set the timer on the oven! Why do you think so many of you dudes are white, huh? But His technicians fiddle with the controls while He nods and beams, and tries to pretend He knows what they're doing) until finally a figure comes into view on the panel. It's a youngish woman, unremarkable looking, quite poor from the look of her but with a strange, almost angelic look on her face. He points to her. Obviously she hadn't the halo of stars around her head when I saw her; dead giveaway that would have been. Guess the special fx guys just added them in later. They love doing things like that.

“This Woman”, He tells me grandly, “Is To Be The Mother Of My Only Son, And You Are To Be The One To Tell Her” You'll notice that when written, every word God says is capitalised, no matter where it comes in the sentence. Yeah, He's just that important. He stops, and waits for my reaction. I must admit, it's a while before I can speak. I test the waters, wondering if I've missed something.

“So, basically I'm delivering a message”, I say “I'm essentially the Divine Postman? The Bringer of the Almighty's Subpoena? She is to be Served, and I am to do the Serving?”

He nods, a little taken aback, perhaps, at my lack of enthusiasm. I kind of get the feeling that The Big Guy is also a little hurt. “What You Are About To do ---” Look, this is silly, capitalising every letter. Can we just write it as normal and take it as read that each letter is capitalised? It'll save a lot of time. Great. “will be one of the most momentous events in the history of Anything.” He likes to use grandiose phrases like “The History of Anything”, and anyway, who's gonna stop Him? “They'll even name a holiday in your honour. And they will call it ....” he declaims grandly, “The Annunciation!”

“Oh”, I say, crestfallen and none too impressed. “Because, like, I announce it?”
“Exactly,” quoth he (another thing God does is quoth a lot; He thinks it sounds grander and more important than said) then looks suspiciously at me. “What aileth thee, Gabriel?” Now I know I've pissed Him off: He only starts talking in that archaic manner when he's really annoyed, which He rarely gets, so you know it's a problem when you upset Him to the degree that He falls into talking in what He calls “The Old Way”. “In the name of Me, art thou not pleased that I hath chosen you to be the deliverer of mine great message?”

Thinking quickly, I glance around, my eyes frantically searching for something to excuse my despondence, or something to distract him from thinking about my reaction. I happen to see Jesus, sitting in his Big Chair, headphones on and growling “DIE DIE DIE YOU BASTARDS!” Seeing that the Son of God is happily engrossed in his new copy of Call of Duty MCMXLIX, I smile thinly and pretend confusion.

“No, no, it's not that at all, Boss!” I assure Him. “It's just that, well, how can this woman be the mother of your only son when, well...”

“Yes?” says God very coldly, and I know I have to tread very lightly here. I choose my words carefully, as all angels are trained to do. The Wrath of the Almighty is not to be courted. Someone once said Beware of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Well, God is a lot more subtle than wizards and He can fly of the handle like a bastard, excuse my French. So I croak

“Is --- Isn't your Only Son sitting right over there?”

Dead silence for a moment. I mean, DEAD SILENCE. You mortals have never experienced Dead Silence. You may have been in situations where it got suddenly, uncomfortably quiet, or you may have had occasions when everything was so peaceful that it seemed like the world was holding its breath. That moment when your national team's participation in a global event hangs on one last penalty to be taken. The microsecond before the doctor comes to you to tell you whether or not your wife is going to live. The instant before the teacher realises you don't know the answer, or the awful, bone-numbing silence when you suddenly realise you've forgotten your anniversary as she asks you what day this is in a tone that, could it be harnessed, solidified, boxed up and shipped to the Arctic Circle, would make short work of global warming in an instant.

None of those moments come even close to Dead Silence. The world holds its breath? Try the Universe, mate! When God levels one of those horrendous, freezing moments at you you feel for a millisecond like a fly caught in a spider's web, unable to move, unable to struggle, watching the implacable force bear down on you, as irresistible and as inexorable as time. You can live lifetimes in the nanosecond that encompasses Dead Silence; you can live and die a thousand times, and see all the possibilities that may follow its termination, and let me tell you, you mortals never ever want to experience it.

But at length (I think about three empires have probably risen and fallen) God breaks the silence, and it is with a laugh, not a roar, and my heart begins beating again. “No no no!” He chuckles! “Oh, for the love of Me! You listen but you do not hear, Gay!” I hate it when He calls me that, and He knows it. It just sounds so, well, so gay! Of course I can say nothing. He can call me Twice Blessed Artichoke of Funtime Pyjamas if He wants. He’s The Boss. I realise He’s talking again. “My mortal son, my mortal son! Jesus here,” He explains, “is going to be Born Of Woman, live on the Earth and then die on the Cross so that Humanity can be saved. It'll be a showstopper, and people will remember it For All Time.” Also,” He mutters in a conspiratorial whisper, “it'll teach him to maybe remember his key when he stays out all hours. Poor old Saint Peter is worn out, being called in the small hours, asking drunkenly to be let in. Water into wine, indeed! Worst thing I ever showed him how to do! ”

I can't help but think that this plan of His Father's is news to Jesus, as he is suddenly looking over at us with an expression that wordlessly says “Wait, what?” and has paused his game, and is now searching worriedly for images and videos of crucifixion, an expression of increasing horror crossing his face. Ignoring him, God continues. He is not worried. Well, God is never worried. Why would He be? If He's worried about something, He either changes it, makes it go away or deals with it in any manner He pleases. Nothing can worry God. Except The X-Factor. He hates that show, but Cowell has Friends In Low Places, so He can't do anything about it. But nothing else worries him. Well, maybe Nickelback. But again... Anyway I digress.

“So you just pop down there, give this woman the news and hop on back here all right? Sound man, knew you could do it, we're all depending on you, platitude platitude platitude...” (I've long since stopped listening to the words. I know from bitter experience that once God has made up His mind about something, nothing can change it.)

So I bow out of there with a few words like “Thy will be done”, and I'm on my way. So this is it, I think. My legacy. The thing everyone will remember me for is now not being Daniel's personal walking copy of The Meaning of Dreams, which would have been bad enough. No, now I'm going to be celebrated and remembered down the ages as the guy who told some broad she was about to get knocked up and become the Queen of Heaven. Hardly compares to facing down and defeating Lucifer and casting him down into the Pit, now does it?

So, after all that, I'm glad to have the chance to finally make some sort of mark in this world. So Satan had a laugh at my Boss last year, did he? Well, I did consider discussing album covers that show Jesus in a good light, but to be honest, they're all on albums by bands who ---- how can I say this without alienating and insulting one of our key demographics and a major revenue stream? --- play complete pussy crap. And as for Mohammed, well, let's not even go there, okay?

It was then I had a brainwave. Angels! Sure, why not? Angels feature on quite a lot of metal album sleeves, and while you're hardly likely to see a smiling Uriel spreading his wings to protect Lemmy or even a grim-faced Michael standing beside Tom Araya, there are some pretty decent depictions of angels to be found. True, some are of the, ah, darker variety, but those guys aren't so bad as long as you don't patronise the bars they frequent. Anyway, I've managed to cobble together my own personal top ten, so here, without further ado, are
The Archangel Gabriel's Top Ten Album Covers (Most Of Which Are Metal But A Few May Not Be And If So Just Shut Up Unless You Fancy Tackling An Arch Fucking Angel!) With Angels On Them!
(Yeah, hardly a snappy title, I'll grant you, but YOU try thinking up a catchy title on the fly at a moment's notice!) Anyway....

10. Fallen Angels --- Venom

Oh I like this one! What? Yes, I suppose technically I’m cheating, as there aren’t actual angels on the cover, but it does it have angels in the title. And anyway, what you gonna do? I’m an angel, remember? An Arch Angel! You wanna try me out? Hah: thought not. Now what I like about this is that it’s by one of those bands that gives the Boss a real heart-attack! When He saw their album At War With Satan He thought these guys were in danger of breaking the Heaven/Hell Peace Accords of 230199 DT (Divine Time, for those of you who don’t know: what? You think we use your poxy calendar Up There? Wake up, Mankind, and smell the ambrosia huh?) but then realised it was just, in his own words, “some of those braindead rockers fucking around”. He, um, doesn’t have too high an opinion of any rock music, though he’s quite into Country. Yeah, I know. Anyway, back to the album cover.

It’s a nice splash of almost armageddon-style colour, with the figures all dark and shadowy and threatening, very Orc-Army-from-the-Lord-of-the-Rings, though why they had to involve Santa and his reindeer I’m not too sure. Mind you, the stories I could tell you about that Rudolph… Ah, maybe not. Moving swiftly on.

9. Use Once and Destroy --- Rock City Angels

Look, will you just shut up? I KNOW they're a punk band, and this is METAL Month, but again, I must bring to your attention the obvious: ARCH FUCKING ANGEL! Alright? Now, let’s have no more interruptions or questions before I forget why I came here and get all Gomorrah on your ass! Do we understand each other? Well, good. So, I know nothing about this band but I do like the usage of the stone angel statue with what seems to be tears running from its eyes. A cliched image, sure, but combining it with the title, can it be supposed that they’re talking a little about rape murder here? Use once and destroy? No? Man, you people are so BORING! Alright then, what’s next up. Oh yeah:

8. Fallen Angel --- Black Veil Brides

Sigh. Do I REALLY have to unsheath this sword? It can’t be resheathed until it tastes mortal blood, you know. It’s SO tiresome and my shoulder is giving me gyp so I’d much not rather, unless you push me. Yes, I KNOW we’ve had this title before, but come on: there’s a limited amount of references you people can make to my kind, and this description is bound to crop up more often than most. Also, in my defence NOT that i NEED to defend myself, but, the number ten selection was plural, Fallen Angels. With an S. This is just the one. Refers of course to my employer’s biggest disappointment, the Traitor to Heaven, and while we all hate him for what he did (believe me, you do NOT want to see the Boss’s bills for rehab!) it can’t be denied that this is one of the cooler images of him, at least as an angel.

Look at those eyes, like twin black holes that just burn into your soul. The slight, almost amused smile on the lips, the slightly downcast eyes, as he knows where he’s headed. The flashing fireflies of his acolytes as they follow him down to the pit, the gracefully curving black wings, (almost as cool as mine!) and the hands held low in front of him in mockery of prayer. It’s a stunning image, and shows not an angel repentent but one who in other circumstances could be seen as triumphant, as if ... he had ... planned ... the whole being cast out into …. hold on a minute ….

Well, I must give this further thought, perhaps over a few swift halves down at the “Wing and Halo” when I return home, but for now on we go to my number

7. Sad Wings of Destiny --- Judas Priest

Now, you will of course be familiar with this one, and if not then you will have seen it during Trollheart’s exploration of the discography of Judas Priest. To some extent, I suppose you could say this is the natural conclusion to the journey begun by Lucifer in the previous example; here he is, arriving in his new home, and none too happy about it, it would seem! Well, that’s what happens when you take on The Big Guy! Don’t expect a hug and a don’t-worry-about-it-faults-on-both-sides handshake at the end. The Boss plays for keeps, and you cross Him at your (literally) eternal peril. I like the feeling of torment here, the idea that Satan has only just now realised what exactly he has got himself into, and that there is no way back. He’s struggling --- not against the Fire, I assume: all angels are impervious to such silly mortal dangers --- but against the idea he will never see Paradise again. And he never will, as long as ol’ Saint Peter keeps taking those uppers to keep himself awake….


6. 1984 --- Van Halen

Ah yes! I’ve always had a soft spot for the little cherub (it’s called quicksand, though don’t tell The Boss I said that; he loves the little beggars!) so it’s nice to see Eddie and the boys putting a twist on the, um, angelic profile most of those bloody fifteenth century artists put on the little guys. The fact that the angel, a child, is taking a cigarette, which he knows to be bad for him and surely forbidden, the sly, wicked grin and the slant of the eyes to the right, as if the cherub is checking to make sure nobody is watching or, possibly, is showing another little angel how brave he is by breaking the rules, speaks volumes. Quite how a cherub got his hands on a packet of fags is something I question myself but then, that’s art for ya!

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

5. Angel of Babylon --- Avantasia

I like a lot of things about this. Babylon is generally taken as a byword for decadence and excess, which generally we angels are (supposed to be) against, being all holy and what have you, and the way the angel in this one is presented is interesting. The body is slim and lithe, like a mortal woman’s, which is the way many of your artists see us, not realising that there are male angels too, hello! But then the wings, rather than being swanlike or dovelike as in most depictions of my kind are more ragged, sharp and almost batlike. It’s almost like this angel is a hybrid of good and evil, angel and demon, and the dark, midnighty background she’s depicted against, coupled with the idea of the shipwreck and leaning over something which I can’t quite make out makes her almost tilting towards the vampiric. Very different. I like it a lot.


4. Fallen from Grace --- Death Angel

Ah, sweet, as Peter Griffin would say! This band has “angel” in its name too! This one is really weird. Look how dark and moody the cover is, with a real feel of seeing a Renaissance painting maybe on some old castle wall, and what the hell (sorry; I mean what in Heaven -- what's that you say? This is Metal Month? I can say what the fuck I like? Ah, sweet indeed! I might just stick around here for a while!) is that creepy old guy doing with that skull? Why is he laughing? To me, the reaction of the angel can be taken three ways: one, she is shying away from the skull in horror, two, she is beckoning the weird old guy to whisper something in his ear or three, she is leaning towards the skull to touch it. Either way, it’s damn creepy, and the way the angel is mostly in shadow and kept deliberately androgynous …. meh, could be Uriel. Kind of looks like the sort of thing he would do. He knows some weird people too, let me tell you.


3. Angels Cry -- Angra

What I like about this one is that it seems to me that the artist, either wittingly or no, made it look like the angel is holding a bouquet of flowers, and with them down at her waist it gives the unmistakable impression of a bride left at the altar. So I kind of see this as Satan after he Fell, raising his eyes to the unforgiving Heavens , coloured red to depict the Almighty’s displeasure. It’s like he’s looking up into the sky and asking to be forgiven, but like the bride forsaken on her wedding day, he knows he has no chance of that wish ever being granted. Powerful, striking image.


2. As Above, So Below --- Angel Witch

Well how can you not like this one! It’s got the whole gang there, with good ol’ Michael leading the charge as we head down for Judgement Day, Dies Irae, The Big Cahoona, whatever you want to call it, the one we’ve all been waiting for when we angels come down to teach you humans a thing or … um, yeah. Anyway, I like the way the angels are all walking like on a cloud of light and the mortal below represents the fear and terror of humanity as the Big Day arrives. Interesting that the guy running away appears to be a priest, a man of God huh? Also, as an added bonus, I think there’s a guest appearance by Jesus there at the Last Supper. Trust Junior to get in on the action, huh?



Sorry, sorry! Just having some harmless fun, your Saviourship! Didn’t mean any harm. Yes, I realise I’m needed above. I’ll be wrapping up here very short --- ah, right now, indeed, as you say.


1. Heaven and Hell --- Black Sabbath

Yeah, I’ve always liked this one. Angels on downtime huh? Like the Van Halen cover, mixing smoking into the picture is I feel a great idea. Smoking is seen generally as a bad habit, something angels should not indulge in, which is why they --- actually, anyone got a light? Thanks --- try to do it whenever they can. Mind you, these guys look like they’re smoking more than tobacco. If you get my drift. I love the fact that the guy on the left has smaller wings and so is surely seen as inferior, and seems to be asking the big guy in the middle something, like perhaps “What do you like best about God?” Yeah, probably more like “What do you mean, these are your last three? I saw two packs in your coat only yesterday!” Anyway it’s a cool cover and it gets top spot on my little countdown, just another of Black Sabbath’s little jokes at organised religion.

What? Oh yes, sure! Sorry! I’m on my way, honest! I swear, if he asks me to re-catalogue all his Hank Williams CDs by date, popularity and era one more time --- what’s wrong with alphabetical, that’s what I want to know! On my way, Sir! Be there before you know it!

Thanks guys, it’s been a blast! You know what? He has a LOT of Hank Williams records. Can I get a few tabs to go? Keep me awake. I owe ya, brother! You can bet you’ve got a guardian angel watching over you!

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

I think that if you had recced it for, say "Love or Hate?" or even "The Torture Chamber" (I'm not forgetting you have to endure Bon Jovi, by the way!) then I might have judged it differently but I don't think I'd have liked it any more. I just found it generally (if I remember, head's a bit wooly with lack of sleep and being cooped up in a hospital for too many hours a day) boring and not to have much variety. This is what fails to chime with me on the likes of Dopesmoker or that Om record: if there's little change all the way through I get bored and I don't see the point. Not just with metal. I mean, you could listen to JMJ's Oxygene and a lot of it is the same but it does change, and change quite radically, throughout the album. If it was all the same chords or phrase all the way through I'd be bored with it. I'm trying to think of other examples but nothing will come at the moment. The point is, for me to enjoy music it generally must move me (for good or ill) but this one just bored me and I had very little to say about it.
The truth does indeed hurt.
I don't think so. I had to delete your original message but I don't remember the name coming up at all.
Also, superb new avvy!
Okay, all of that makes sense.
Great idea, though I don't know when recs will be opening again.
This I will consider.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

As I've already reviewed the latest album in Metal Month II here http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ml#post1495642, this then becomes the final Judas Priest album in the discography, and it features a total shift of direction in their music, away from speed metal and towards a more orchestrated sound, hinging more on symphonic and gothic metal. It's a concept album --- their only one to date --- and a double, also a first for them. With a total of 23 tracks there's a lot to get through, so let's get started.

Nostradamus (2008)

Unsurprisingly, the concept centres around the prophecies of the thirteenth-century clairvoyant, who is said to have accurately predicted many world events, including man walking on the Moon, the rise of Hitler and the fall of the Twin Towers. Whether you ascribe to these beliefs or not is unimportant for this review, but many of his prophecies are mentioned of course. There's a heavier reliance on keyboards and synthesisers than in previous albums, and also choir and orchestra play a large part too. There's an uncharacteristically soft piano and strings opening to “Dawn of creation”, which sounds much more like the intro to a prog album, giving you an idea just how different this is going to be from previous Priest releases. Some menacing approaching guitar before we move into “Prophecy”, which allows the guitar to kick through in classic Priest fashion, though slower and grindier than you might expect.

Good snarly vocal from Halford, gives a real sense of threat and portent, then a short guitar passage accompanies a morose vocal before we reach “Revelations”, which opens with dark organ and frantic strings, bringing in Tipton and Downing to fire up the track, which hits into more of the tempo we expect from these guys. Interesting vocal, as Rob sings each word with a pause after it, as in ”I – see – all – things...” and some great backing keyboard work from Don Airey. Great strings too. Slowing down then for “The four horsemen”, another short piece driven on what sounds like organ and maybe acoustic guitar, then bringing in choral vocals and strings again to take it to its short ending. It's followed by the stirring anthem “War”, which treads very slightly into Manowar/Virgin Steele territory, but with almost zero cheese.

This seems to be something of a suite, as I missed “Sands of time” which now runs into “Pestilence and Plague”, obviously carrying on the theme of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. This one rocks along nicely with a sort of galloping beat and quite the hook in the chorus. I think Halford may be speaking French here at one point, but I can't quite make it out. Appropriately enough, pealing, tolling bells and a lamenting choir pull in “Death”, which then features Halford almost speaking the vocal, the whole thing based pretty closely on Sabbath's signature song. Even the guitar tritone (?) is right out of the Tony Iommi playbook. Oh man, there's even a breakout guitar solo near the end!

“Peace” then, not surprisingly, slows it all down with a gentle acoustic guitar and soft synth lines before “Conquest” hits the accelerator again and we're off rocking with some great guitar solos, then slowing down on the back of soft piano and strings for “Lost love”. The first disc then ends on “Persecution”, which begins gently enough but you know it's gonna kick up, and so it does, as Downing and Tipton slip their leashes and just go wild. Halford, too, relapses a little into his old vocal style, and while this new one is great, it's a joy to hear him return to the kind of singing we heard on British Steel and Turbo.

Dics two kicks off on the melancholy “Solitude”, driven by Airey's lonely piano line, a short sort of introduction I guess to the second part, just under a minute and a half, then “Exiled” comes in on powerful strings and percussion with a sort of rippling guitar (it could be harp but I don't think so) and a really dramatic feel of frustration to it. The raw power and emotion in this song makes it one of the standouts for me. Just excellent. “Alone” continues this trend, with a dark, brooding semi-ballad driven by strings and synthesisers, with strong choral vocals and a snarling guitar punching through the whole thing. Another short tune then in the balladic “Shadows in the flame” before we head into the bombastic “Visions” with a real groove metal guitar riff running through it, then “Hope” is another short, slow song with a very expressive vocal from Halford and some fine backing vocals too.

That runs directly into “New beginnings”, keeping the basic melody, and I would swear there's a didgeridoo in there (!) though maybe it's just a weird synth. Either way, it stays slow, dark and morose, and continues to be a real showcase for how Judas Priest can step out of what's seen as their wheelhouse and go in a totally different direction, and still knock it out of the park. More great piano from Don Airey, then a very Rush-style guitar circa 1975 opens “Calm before the storm”, giving either Tipton or Downing a chance to show what he can really do without having to shred, rising strings joining him halfway in what I must assume is an instrumental --- no here comes Halford. Didn't think he'd come in so late into the piece, but his vocal certainly adds to the song. Total metal blowout then for the title, and penultimate track, as Halford sings his heart out, the man wronged by his peers but determined to survive. Downing and Tipton thunder in then on the guitars as the percussion hits too and the song takes off, the closest to a “standard” Judas Priest track as we've heard to date. A concession to the old-school fans? Maybe, but it fits in really well. Sweet solos near the end.

And then we're heading over the finishing line, with “Future of mankind”, a powerful, stirring, gothic, almost operatic and cinematic conclusion to an album which definitely stands now among my favourites from the band, and confirms the re-coronation of Rob Halford as the only Judas Priest singer, the king of British steel.

TRACKLISTING

DISC ONE

1. Dawn of creation
2. Prophecy
3. Awakening
4. Revelations
5. The Four Horsemen
6. War
7. Sands of time
8. Pestilence and Plague
9. Death
10. Peace
11. Conquest
12. Lost love
13. Persecution

Disc Two

14. Solitude
15. Exiled
16. Alone
17. Shadows in the flame
18. Visions
19. Hope
20. New beginnings
21. Calm before the storm
22. Nostradamus
23. Future of mankind

If ever a band really stretched themselves, quite unexpectedly really, Judas Priest showed in this album that they are so much more than just a metal band. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but once again they were redefining what it meant to be who they were, and daring others to follow and imitate them. After a long hiatus and two triumphant comeback albums, Priest were now firmly re-established in the hearts and minds of the metal fraternity, and those who had deserted them or lost faith in them during the “Ripper years” must surely now have been rethinking, rejoicing and welcoming this extraordinary band back from the wilderness.

As for me, this has definitely been a blast and I can see why so many people love this band. They've certainly been through the wars, have experienced the highs and the very very lows, but have come through all of it with their heads held high, ready to, in their own words from several decades ago, take on all the world.

Screaming for, and achieving at the highest level, vengeance.
Unstoppable.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Trollheart

Nearing the end of our voyage through Pirate Metal now, and there are only four bands left for us to cover. One from England, one from Australia and two from Brazil. As we've just been on the shores of bonny Scotland, let's just tip over the border and head south, to check out these guys, who only got together in 2011, and have just the one album, released this year.

They proudly proclaim on their website to be “The undisputed champions of neoclassical pirate metal!” Oh god! Is there a sub-sub-subgenre going on here? Neoclassical Pirate Metal? They hail from the coastal town of .... Nottingham? Um, yeah. The Midlands. Where there is no coast. At all. That's why it's called the Midlands. The two biggest things associated with Nottingham, for those not born there, are of course Robin Hood and Sherwood Forest, and their local football team, Nottingham, er, Forest. They're not exactly known for their piratical exploits, nor even for any sort of seafaring. Well, it would be hard, wouldn't it, unless you wanted to drag your galleon across land all the way to the River Trent, and even then it's a long way to the coast. See below.

So not what you'd call a natural wellspring for a Pirate Metal band, but then, this seems to be no ordinary Pirate Metal band, with, as we have already seen, neoclassical leanings, and also with, as we will see, the only female member in any of the Pirate Metal bands we have so far explored. Red Rum is a five-piece, consisting of:
Dave Everitt (Vocals)
Sam Wood (Guitar/Bouzouki)
Bekkie Brumby (Guitar)
Sam Bradford (Keyboards/Synthesisers)
Steven Ryall (Bass)
Hugh Milburn (Drums)

Although only together for four years now and with their first album out this year, they seem to have struck a chord already, having played last year's Piratefest (there's a Piratefest???) alongside Alestorm (of course) and even took in Ireland on their tour (NOOOOO!!!!!!! I MISSED IT!!!!)

Ahem. Anyway, let's look into their debut album.

Booze and Glory --- Red Rum --- 2015 (Independent)

Yeah, well it's only been out less than a month and it proves impossible to track down, dammit. Nobody even uploaded it to YouTube, for Chrissakes! Come on, people! Wake up here! Shiver me timbers! Guess we'll have to go with the EP that came out prior to that, then. Avast!


With Gods By Our Side --- Red Rum --- 2014 (Independent)

There are only five tracks on this, unfortunately, and it starts off with the title track, a power metal beast with what sounds like violin going there too, though as none is credited it's probably synth created. Vocalist Dave Everitt does in fact sound something like Christopher Bowes, but different enough not to come over as a copy of the Alestorm singer. Utilising the Iron Maiden “Whoa-oh-oh-oh!” might not be the greatest tactic --- I would have preferred “Yo ho ho” or “Ha-har!” or something more piratey, but this is only the first track so we'll reserve judgement till we've heard more. Nice bouzouki intro to “Dragged out with the tide”, then it gets more intense as it marches along, seems like they've brought in a growly, death metal style vocal to complement Dave's, though no idea whose it is, unless he's doing both himself.

Hear the neoclassical influence now in the keys, and there's a nice idea in the lyric of a pirate's struggles to maintain his lifestyle. Great guitar work from Bekkie Brumby, whom I assume is the one who takes care of the guitar duties, as Sam Wood also plays the bouzouki but she is shown only as a guitarist. “Rise from the deep”, I have to say, sounds like a continuation of the previous song, and again uses that double vocal, which is a little offputting. “Legends” uses some nice neoclassical guitar and gallops along well, lot of grunting and cheering, seems to utilise just the one vocal this time. Well, mostly anyway. Nice violin sound from the synth but it's over very quickly and already we're into the distinctly non-pirate closer, “Ragnarok”. I suppose there is some slight correlation between Vikings and pirates, both being marauders, but I pointed out the differences between them before, and I'm not quite sure why pirate bands keep returning to them for inspiration.

This is a pure Viking song, referencing of course the Twilight of the Gods, the final battle which would see the end of all things and allow men to take control of their own destiny as the Gods of Asgard went forth against the Frost Giants, the Fire Giants, and the New York Giants (sorry) --- and the other darker elements of the Norse mythos. It's played well, but on a record having only five tracks why have one that has absolutely nothing to do with pirates, is my question?

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Red Rum
2. Dragged out with the tide
3. Rise from the deep
4. Legends
5. Ragnarok

Well, despite their lofty claims, I don't see anything so great about Red Rum. To me, they're just basically copying Alestorm but with a lot less finesse, imagination and seemingly absolutely none of the razor-sharp humour the Scottish band uses. Now admittedly, two things: one, I have no lyric sheet so had to try to make out what was being said, which was not always easy, but I didn't hear anything that wasn't what I would call at this point, cliche pirate lyrics. Two, as I mentioned I can't get their album anywhere, so maybe they improved in leaps and bounds on that, although this EP was only released the previous year, so I wonder.

Either way, on this EP at least, and accepting that it is only a short and probably non-representative example of the band, Red Rum have a long way to go to impress me as other bands here have. It also doesn't help that they've managed to go under a name which is also that of one of the most famous racehorses in history!

So, do Australia fare any better? Well, you would certainly hope so. They at least have very much a nautical tradition (as do the English of course, just not the Nottingamites) and also a history of being a laidback, fun-loving people who are hardy and tough when required, and laugh at danger. Well, not all of them: I'm sure the wealthy families living in the suburbs of Melbourne or Perth haven't a drop of pirate blood in them, but that could be said of the upper/middle class of any country. I just feel that in general, Australia and pirates seem like they might be a better match. Let's find out.


In existence for slightly longer than their English counterparts, Lagerstein came together in 2010, and had their first, and so far only, album released in 2012. Described by themselves as “a folking (hah!), drinking, shouting and pirating rock/metal outfit hailing from the shores of distant Brisbane”, they are:
Ultralord (Vocals)
The Majestic Beast (Guitars)
Neil Rummy Rackers (Guitars)
Mother Junkst (Keyboards, and maybe violin as he --- yeah it's a he --- is shown playing one. Or at least, posing with one)
The Immobilizer (Bass)
Oldmate Dazzle (Drums)


Drink 'Til We Die --- Lagerstein --- 2012 (Independent)

I'm glad to say I do have lyrics for this, so let's get going and see where the seven seas take us. With the shout “We are Lagerstein!” the album opens on a deceptively gentle keys melody before “The rum thieves” bursts into life and we learn that one of the worst possible crimes among pirates is the theft of their liquor! As Ultralord recounts the sad tale of how their stores were purloined by thieves and the boys set off in angry pursuit, the chorus echoes through your brain like an earworm: ”Those bastards stole our rum! They'll pay for what they've done!” Great power metal rippling guitar and a rousing chorus makes this song a great start to the album, and I can only hope it stays this good after the somewhat lacklustre Red Rum.

Okay, now they're copying The Dread Crew of Oddwood and taking to the air. “Dreaded skies” would be so much better if I hadn't already heard “Aership of doom”, but it's basically the same idea, though I have to tip my hat to their chorus ”Ya-da-dadada-dah-da-da - we’re all so fucking high/ Ya-da-dadada-dah-da-da - we’re pirates of the skies!/ Ya-da-dadada-dah-da-da - we drink until we die/ Ya-da-dadada-dah-da-da - we’re pirates of the skies!” Also ”Is it a bird? Is it a plane?/ No! It's a fucking pirate ship!” Some great bouzouki work here from ... someone, maybe one of the guitarists, and some powerful dramatic keys from Mother Junkst. Really like this one, just a pity it's not as original as it seems. What is original though is “Harpoon the sun” where they decide they're tired of sunlight and declare ”We're gonna fuck the sun!/ WE'll blow that fucker out of space!”

Perhaps a misake to have two, shall we say, high fantasy ideas following one another, but it is funny, and the shouted orders that precede the opening of the song are great. I must say, Ultralord is one of the cleanest vocalists I've heard yet, although as a pirate perhaps not; he's more in the boyband/power-pop mould, but at least you can easily hear what he's singing. Takes a little away from the raw, snarly power of Pirate Metal though. Next we're all invited aboard the “Nightmare ship”. What's the nightmare? Well let the boys explain it: ”The wench is a man/ Turns out we're all queer/ The cabin is empty/ We're all out of beer!” Oh no! Pirates can't operate without booze! There's a suitably lamenting keyboard intro and vocal chorus to take us in, and I must say it's damn effective; you feel like crying for the passing of alcohol!

Band members begin to be blamed --- ”Obviously this is Mother Junkst's fault!” and are made to walk the plank --- again, this kind of echoes one of the Alestorm songs, “Keelhauled”, but we'll let it pass as the song is so damn good. Things get rocking again with the hilarious “Pirate music piracy”, a jaunty accordion motif pulling it along as the guys sing ”We're singing songs about the sea/ We don't 'ave time to sing in key/ It's pirate music piracy!” fucking brilliant! ”We're looting ships of their pirate music melodies/ Don't need fucking MP3s/ Cos this is music piracy!” Now that's comedy! This is what Red Rum are missing out, Swashbuckle too. “Plunderberg” plays like a pop ballad for a few seconds then it's quite amazing the stuff they jam together to make rhymes for “plunderberg” --- thunderburg, underburg, rumdaberg?

It's another power metal romper, but I do admit that voice which I have to refer to as the “boyband” voice is just too pure and almost innocent for these kind of lyrics and for the pirate life. Oh well, the other vocals make up for it I guess. “Slocken the rum” is (anyone?) another drinking song and hurtles along nicely on another accordion melody that then turns into a squeezebox one, sort of pizzicato --- you'll have to hear it to know what I mean --- utilising a classic power metal melody. Oh, the parody! They even throw in ”Hey ho! Let's go!” Then it's off on a quest for the drink of all drinks in “Jungle Juice journey”, in which they have to destroy the deadly and fearsome ... toucan? Well, they blow it away with their cannon anyway and make it to the jungle with a surprisingly melodic guitar solo, and you have to love the simple chorus ”Drunk on jungle juice!” while the beer continues to flow in the “Beer bong song” with another soft intro that develops into something of a power ballad and then just takes off. I love the line ”A beer bong for me, a beer bong for you/ These are the tools of the Lagerstein crew!” and they use this, the longest song at six minutes long, to introduce the band and then have a real pirate drinking chorus as they shout the title of the album over and over. Class.

Then we end on the title track as the pirate captain is dismayed to hear the barmaid claim ”You pirates are all the same/ You loot all the day and you drink all the night!” and he assures her "We'll drink until we fucking die!” Acosutic guitar and flute carry this, with the sounds of rowing across from the ship to the land, the vocal a real sea shanty and a great change, a perfect closer to the album.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

The rum thieves
Dreaded skies
Harpoon the sun
Nightmare ship
Pirate music piracy
Plunderburg
Slocken the rum
Jungle juice journey
Beer bong song
Drink 'til we die

Yeah, these guys have it. They know what it's all about. Again, I can't totally dismiss Red Rum as I had no lyrics and didn't get to listen to their album, but what I heard was nowhere close to this. Lagerstein get the true meaning of being a pirate: drink, drink and more drink. And drink. Oh, and how could I forget drink? The lyrics are clever and funny, they don't take themselves any way seriously and they have great craic while doing what they enjoy. If I had one complaint, it's the main vocalist (Ultralord?) whose voice is so fresh-faced and young that it's a little to take him seriously (huh?) when he's singing about rum and whisky in a voice that sounds like the hardest liquor that's ever passed his lips was Red Bull or Cinzano!

That aside though, definitely one of the better Pirate Metal bands, and I look forward to their next release, assuming they're not all caught and strung up from the nearest yardarm.

Which leaves us with two bands, both of which come from sunny Brazil, surely a favourite hunting ground for pirates of old, but unfortunately one of them sing in their native Portuguese, and as I can't speak more than a few words of that (and that not well) I find it hard to review them. Not that foreign languages preclude my interest in a band, as you all know, but with Pirate Metal it's different. About ninety percent at least of the effectiveness of a Pirate Metal band is based around their lyrics, and if you can't understand them, then they could play brilliantly and evoke a real pirate atmosphere, and they could in fact have the wittiest lyrics of any of these bands, but if I can't decipher them it's pointless.

And so sadly I can't review Confraria da Costa, who do have one album, and it is available, but I must gloss over them with my apologies and turn to the only other band that comes up in the list I've been using, and who also come from Brazil, but thankfully sing in English. Tracking their album down though may prove a more difficult proposition.

__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018