The Batlord

Did I just see Trollheart claim that Mercyful Fate are poseur black metal? Who has kidnapped TH and replaced him with a pod person?

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Trollheart

And so we're back to Frownland, with yet another three-day-long album no doubt. I tell you one thing, nothing about this gives me any confidence that it will be either short or something I can get through. In fact, when I look at it images of Dopesmoker* come back to haunt me. It's not even given running times on Metal Archives, and the title of each track on each side (!) of the album is exactly the same, so I have no idea what that's about..

Stoner Rock --- Bong --- 2014 (Ritual Productions)
Suggested by Frownland
I'm actually surprised, when I find this on GPM, to see that the whole album lasts only an hour, and both tracks are shown only once, which sort of makes sense. It starts off with a big feedback drony guitar, and to be honest I don't expect it to change too much as the first track, “Polaris”, gets underway. Seven minutes in, it's the same droning chords, but now there's a vocal, a spoken one, which alleviates the boredom a little. Sounds like something else may be joining the melody (I use the word extremely loosely, I assure you) but it's really too faint (or the guitar is too loud and overbearing) for me to confirm what it may be, if indeed it is anything. This is around minute eleven or so. We're now into fifteen and I still can't tell if I'm just listening to the main instrument or if there are others there in the background.

Good lord, this is boring. It's just the same phrase repeated for at this point twenty minutes. The few vocal contributions, such as they are, have long faded away and we're just listening to what sounds like a repeat loop, and it's not even an interesting one. At least Sleep had some slight variety in what they did, though Om* were about as bad as this. Another sixteen minutes of this FIRST TRACK to go... and it continues that way, no real change. The second track, “Out of the aeons”, brings in some sitar I think and also some more distinct percussion, but seems to be essentially a continuation of what we've had for the last half hour. And we've another half hour of it to go. There's slightly more of a melody to this one, and it's not quite as boring, but it is still very boring.

Oh, look! The speaking voice is back in the twentieth minute or so. At least it serves to alleviate the boredom a little, though not much. Nearly there, thank the gods. “Out of the aeons”? Seemed like it took fucking aeons before I could finally shut this crap off. Jesus!

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Polaris
2. Out of the aeons

I'll be quick and simple (and brutal, but I don't care) here: bloody awful. However, with his newfound sensitive nature about his recs, I'll admit this is just a case of not being for me. No doubt tons of you would or will love this, and to each his own, but I prefer a bit more structure and variety in my music. For me, had this been in the Torture Chamber I probably would have crumbled. A missed trick for you again, Batty! That was not torture, not in the way Ki's poxy album was, but it was mind-numbingly tedious. I think I need some blackened death metal or something after that!

* Reviewed but not yet posted

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Trollheart

And it's back to the cold we go, north into darkest Scandinavia, back to the cradle fo Black Metal and into Norway, where we find a band who have long split up and only released two albums in their tenure, but are deemed worthy of our attention. Arthemesia were more in the melodic black metal/symphonic metal vein than Atmospheric, I'm told, but definitely should be included.

Devs Iravs --- Arthemesia --- 2001 (Native North Records)

Although Arthemsia focussed on Satanic worship and the occult, they did apparently also believe in alternate religions such as Shamanism and Paganism, and this is interestingly the band Jari Mäenpää left to later form Wintersun, whom we encountered during Metal Month II last year. There's no gentle introduction as harsh fast guitars usher in a snarling vocal and “Blade circle” opens the album. It's a pretty straightforward Satan worship/invocation song, and I can't make out a word as the vocalist, Valtias Mustatuuli, just seems to roar and scream. Wiki tells me this, their first album, was cobbled together from demos, and you can certainly hear the rawness and unevenness in the recordings, which are very poorly produced. This is a pity, really, as Atmospheric Black Metal tends to rely rather heavily on the production in order to get that ambience, and I just don't hear it.

“Universal black” at least begins more low-key, with nice acoustic guitar and low synth, the vocal very low and quiet, almost whispered, then hard electric guitar punches through and the vocal drops in register and gets stronger, so that now it's a rough growl whereas on the previous track it was a sharp scream. There is a really nice sense of almost Power Metal about this now as it rides along, the vocal going back to that scream we heard on the first track. “The breeze of grief” is even moreso, really romping along, and though Valtias tries to “Black Metal it up”, it's hard really to think of this as a Black Metal track of any stripe. Of course, there are the lyrics: “With that knife and with that laughter/You gently cut your veins/As the breeze of grief binds us together. “ Um, yeah.

A good hard rockout then for “Draconus Infernvs”, which I have to say has no atmospheric or even symphonic elements in it; it's pure traditional metal other than the vocals, though with “Ancestor of magick” we're back to what's expected with string keyboards, grinding guitars and a slow, rolling drumbeat. Multitracked vocals are used here, some of them actually “clean”, which comes as a nice surprise, though the main vocal is driven by Valtias in his screaming screech. There's a definite sense of warrior chant here as the song sways along, though obviously the lyric belies that: ”The evil ship in its tongue/ And the smiling red eyes of horror”. The same basic kind of idea, musically, continues in “Lifemocker”, but overall I'd have to say there's not too much in the way of variety with this band. Maybe that's why they didn't last very long.

Some nice keyboard work and a sort of lamenting voice, but it has to be said that the lyrics are in general pretty awful and make little sense. I mean: ”As I glare upon my scythe/ To see my next realm what to crush/ Once again I clench that helve tight/ And prepare for my feast.” Uh, come again? None of that made any real sense. I know they're Finnish, but even so. “Heaven ablaze” is another rocker, marching along nicely, but it's pretty much Yawnarama City at this stage and everything is sounding strained and very similar. The first of these albums where I think I'll be a lot happier once it's over. “Celebration of the heaven lost” has a kind of progressive feel to it, and a nice kind of anthemic melody.

The final track is a full ten minutes long, and I'm not even sure I can make it through “Whore of the Satan's night”, though to be fair they do seem to vary it a little more here, with some soft, almost gentle passages of guitar, interspersed through the raging, screaming and foaming that makes up most of the song. Hmm. Odd. Looks like it ended with five minutes still to go. Not that I'm complaining mind you. Blessed release really.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Blade circle
2. Universal black
3. The breeze of grief
4. Draconis infernvs
5. Ancestor of magick
6. Lifemocker
7. Heaven ablaze
8. Celebration of the Heaven lost
9. Whore of the Satan's night

I don't think I've enjoyed an Atmospheric Black Metal album (if such this even is) less in all the time I've been writing this article. This came across to me as a cross between standard Black Metal and a sort of symphonic/traditional metal mix. The music was okay, in some cases quite good, but there was so little variety that I couldn't even pick one track from another. The lyrics were totally abysmal and seemed to concentrate more on creating a Satanic atmosphere than actually making any sort of sense, and the vocals were of course indecipherable. All in all, an album I'm happy to forget and let rot in the mists of history. Good riddance.

Back to Germany then we go, to begin the selection proposed by our other oracle, Grindy. Nyktaglia only lasted from 2001 to 2008 and are now split up, and in that time they released just the two albums, of which this is the first.

Nyktaglia --- Nyktaglia --- 2004 (No Colours Records)

Only four tracks on this, but two are over eleven minutes long, and one is nearly ten. Starts off with a slow, doomy, grinding guitar and morose drumming before the vocalist, who goes by the name of Skjald, screams out and then the drums start to hammer out a much faster beat, the guitar joining them. Nyktalgia were a three-piece, and in addition to the aforementioned singer they had Malfeitor on guitars and bass, and Winterheart on drums. Of course they did. Slows down with a nice melancholy air and even some melody, of all things, about halfway through, as Malfeitor shows us he can do more than just throttle a guitar to death. Well, in this one song there has already been more variety than in the whole of the last album.

Things pick up then for “Lamento Larmoyant”, riding along on a fast, uptempo guitar and breezy percussion, which completely belies the lyrical content, sounding more like something out of a Doom Metal song really, lamenting about the futility of life and the uselessness of hope. You know, the usual cheerful stuff. I suppose the guy's high shrieking voice suits the depressing, despairing lyrics, but I have to say his refusal to come down even a little in his register is really grating on me. I think I'd rather hear someone growl like an animal than have to listen to this. He's back with a big shriek as we move into “Cold void”, the “short” track, at just over seven and a half minutes, and it blasts along with great energy and determination, even though the song is clearly about a suicide attempt. Maybe you could say it's the rage and anger and frustration building up inside him that drives him to take his own life, and so then in that case the music may be appropriate, but for something like this I would have expected more of a dirge really.

Another song about dying and ending it all, “Exitus Latelis” closes the album, and again it's a fast driving rhythm that characterises the song, though it slows down to an almost funeral speed quite early on, picking up again though not as fast. It's sort of hard to write anything about this album though as that scream is really putting me off and the music, while good, is, after the optimism of the first track, kind of staying the same more or less all the way through. Just really boring me to be honest. I just can't be bothered. As Batty would say, fuck this shit. It'll be over in a minute.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Misere noblis
2. Lamento Larmoyant
3. Cold void
4. Exitus Latelis

Yeah, this whole album just annoyed me. From the pathetic lyrics about the many ways the world sucks and the constant, never-changing scream of the singer, it was like listening to a disgruntled teenager wailing about how terrible his life is and he wishes he were dead. I got little enjoyment at all out of that; in fact, I think I preferred the previous guys singing about Satan. At least they had some passion and even evil enjoyment in their music. This was just bland, banal and boring. Never again.

Back to the land of Caladan Brood we travel, to the shores of America and this time to Washington, to tackle a band whose music I have heard once before, but it was a short and, to me at the time, brutal example, as I was still in my phase of not listening to bands with vocals I couldn't understand, essentially death growls. I've no doubt I'll probably still find them too harsh and visceral for my taste, as, apart from anything else, they're on Batlord's favourite br00tal label, Southern Lord. I'm also told their demo was packaged in black fur with moss inside the lyric sheet, so not expecting an easy ride here. Still, perhaps my minimal softening towards and the beginnings of appreciating Black Metal as more than just noise may serve me better than I think.

Or perhaps not. On the plus side, the album we're looking at only has four tracks, however two of them are well over ten minutes, with the closer over eighteen...

Two Hunters --- Wolves in the Throne Room --- 2007 (Southern Lord)

This is the second album from Wolves in the Throne Room, and one of their critically acclaimed ones. They're just a three-man effort, with brothers Nathan and Aaron Weaver on guitar/vocals and drums respectively, and Rick Dahlen also on guitar and vocals. There's a long, lingering instrumental intro that really sounds like it's on synth but I don't see any, so maybe these guys are just really good on their guitars. It's a sort of dramatic, sweeping feel to the music, almost orchestral at times, and the drums bash out slowly like those in a cinema soundtrack with a real sense of symphonic metal here. I'm impressed, but waiting for the sudden punch and kick of raw guitar and that expected harsh vocal to shatter my illusions that this might be a whole lot different than I had anticipated. So far we're almost four minutes into the six that “Dea artio” runs for, and I'm starting to think instrumental.

Very stirring, very emotional, very ambient and I would be surprised if there were any vocals now at this point, so I guess this serves as an introduction and we'll get the hammerblow on the second track. Great start though. “Vastness and sorrow” is one of those longer tracks --- well, the rest are all long really --- coming in at just over twelve minutes. Powerful, effective start, sort of like a slight ramping up of the theme from the opener, the guitars a little harder, the drums a little more forceful, then that screechy voice cuts in for the first time, but I've heard these guys (if only for a minute) and know what to expect. What are the lyrics about? Let's see: "A dark and fell rider clad in garments of shadow" --- well that's not the milkman, is it? Guess we're talking your basic average apocalypse here. Not surprisingly, if the throne room is being overrun by wild beasts, is it? Guitar work is really great; builds up a hell of an atmosphere. The “singing” I can live without of course, but you can't have everything. But on balance, yeah, I really like this a lot.

A mere ten minutes is all “Cleansing” runs for --- and not even that: five seconds short! Lazy bastards! --- but it opens on a quite startlingly beautiful ambient piece, and if there aren't keys in there I'll be both surprised and impressed. Slow, native style percussion and they bring in guest female vocals from Jessika Kenney, who has a very operatic voice and really changes the whole tone of the music. It's good to be able to hear the vocals for once, and this is a song of seeming victory and celebration in a pagan vein as she sings ”Bathe in the clear cold stream/ Fresh water from the unsullied endless spring that/ Flows from the mountain/We will sing the most ancient song/ Spark the fire upon dry tinder .” Then Nathan ruins it by screaming over it himself and the music gets more intense as the guitars wind up in about the fifth minute.

The final track is the epic among epics, as “I will lay my bones down among the rocks and roots” runs for over eighteen minutes, and starts suitably epically too, with a big guitar intro that takes us into over two minutes of the song before Nathan roars in with his vocal. As we move into the seventh minute the guitars slow down, gradually, very gradually, until they're almost gone, like fading out, and a cold wind blows before they kick up again and take the midsection of the song. Some very effective, again quite tribal drumming here and then the vocal comes back in around the tenth minute. Another great instrumental section driving the last six minutes or so, real feel of a native chant about it, very hypnotic. Fading into a kind of ambient piece now in the thirteenth minute, with almost acoustic, gentle, relaxed guitar before the drums kick in and we head towards the big finish.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Dea artio
2. Vastness of sorrow
3. The cleansing
4. I will lay down my bones among the rocks and roots

Very, very impressed by this. Now that I can manage to look beyond vocals that I don't like or can't comprehend, and just listen to the music, this is an extremely well put together album, especially considering there's little if any digital production, synthesisers, effects or any post-processing. It's raw and it's visceral but it doesn't feel raw and visceral. This does not sound like something recorded in someone's parents' garage, or on a shoestring budget. This sounds really professional, and I'd be interested in hearing more of these guys.

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Jill Janus (Huntress)
Huntress: it's a great name for a female-led metal band, isn't it? They've had three albums since 2012, and are led by Jill Janus, who sings and also writes all the lyrics. We're going to check out their debut album. And here it is.

Spell Eater --- Huntress --- 2012 (Napalm Records)

The first thing that comes across is that their music seems to touch on the domain of black metal, at least in lyrical content, though perhaps it's more to do with witches and magic, but the opener, and title track, shows what a powerful voice Janus has, growling out the lyric in so strong a voice that you could be fooled into mistaking her for a man. In contrast to the by comparison softer vocals of Alexia Rodriguez of Eyes Set to Kill, she snarls and spits and roars the vocals out, more a primeval woman, a pagan priestess than a pop diva. One part Suzi Quatro, one part Janis Joplin and one part a female King Diamond, she's quite something to hear. She exercises the operatic side of her voice as the track comes to a close, then “Senicide” hurtles along (killing old people, since you ask) and she really goes for it vocally here. You'd be scared listening to her, in some ways.

There's a somewhat slower, marching feel to “Sleep and death”, reminds me of eighties Iron Maiden and her voice again ascends like a dark angel and descends like an avenging valkyrie. Hard to believe this woman was once a Playboy Playmate! “Snow witch” has a more sort of doom metal approach to it, with a growled and snarled vocal from Janus, while she has a scream to chill the bones and flay the flesh off you as “Eight of Swords” kicks its way in. Honestly, this woman could give some of the strongest and most powerful male voices in metal a run for their money and hold her own with the best. She later descends into some groundshaking guttural growling here too, showing the breadth of her impressive range.

Speaking of that, “Aradia” stretches her capabilities again; not that they're not up to it. Often you can hardly hear the guitars over her voice! It's really that strong and upfront. Her operatic training comes in handy during “Night rape”, though she plumbs the darkest depths of her vocal range too. Some amazing screams and screeches though. The pace doesn't slacken at all, and neither does she, as we launch into “Children” --- you probably wouldn't let your kids anywhere near her! --- where she seems to be warning children about their murderous father: ”Run, children run!/ ... If you knew the things he's done/ Left hand is hate/ Father's become Cain” and if it was me I'd be running, though it would be that crazed voice I'd be legging it from, not some homicidal father!

“Terror” seems to evoke Sandy Hook or maybe Columbine when she shrieks ”Look at me, see my face, die!/ School is out forever!” She certainly imbues the song with a creeping, urgent sense of fear and horror, of being trapped and hunted down, then she returns to the themes of witchcraft and paganism prevalent throughout most of the album as “The tower” closes the album. Another earsplitting vocal delivery and we're out, gasping and breathing hard.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Spell eater
2. Senicide
3. Sleep and death
4. Snow witch
5. Eight of swords
6. Aradia
7. Night rape
8. Children
9. Terror
10. The tower

(I've marked all the tracks Green in case she takes offence and comes after me!)

Certainly one of the most powerful female voices I've heard since yer wan from Thorr's Hammer, though she seems to keep more on the really low end of the vocal scale, that growling and almost grunting so beloved of some black metal and doom metal singers, but seldom heard from a female throat. Jill Janus on the other hand can reach the high, high, high notes with earshrieking ease as well as drop to the lowest depths, to create a really varied vocal range and at times a quite frightening performance.


Lita Ford
Although she's getting on in years now (she will be celebrating her sixtieth birthday in 2018) there was a time when Lita Ford was the queen of metal. A sort of dark sister to Belinda Carlisle, both started their careers in sixties rock band The Runaways, but whereas Belinda went the pop route and had top ten hits, Lita preferred the heavier, hotter road to Heavy Metal Heaven, and with her third solo self-titled album in 1988 she scored two top twenty hits, one a duet with Ozzy himself. Further cementing the Black Sabbath links, she was managed by Sharon and briefly engaged to Tony Iommi, though she later married WASP's Chris Holmes. With eight albums under her belt, she's still going strong, with her latest released in 2012.


While I don't want to just “t&a” this section up, it would be remiss of me not to mention one of the shock acts of the NWOBHM era, and their, um, upfront singer.

Betsy Bitch (Bitch)
Of course that's not her real name --- it's Betsy Weiss --- but the name caught and fired the attention of red-blooded males (is there any other kind? Other than Vulcans I mean, and I don't think they're into heavy metal!) as did her image as an onstage dominatrix, coupled with her tongue-in-cheek BDSM lyrics. Bitch never made it, became more a novelty act than anything else, maybe because nobody took their music seriously, and to be honest it was hard to, but they played okay. Their last album (after changing their name to Betsy, and then back when that didn't work) was in 1987 so they're probably gone now. But for a while they did at least represent a very much non-PC version of “girl power” in metal that is slowly beginning to filter back through with bands like Butcher Babies.


With our featured artiste this year being Judas Priest, I couldn't really finish up without mentioning the all-girl tribute band, Judas Priestess.

Authorised and approved by the band themselves, Judas Priestess formed in 2009 and have been pulling in the crowds with their superb renditions of heavy metal classics from one of the oldest and most respected metal bands on the planet. Fronted by MilitiA (capital A at the end very important), who has seen service (stop that!) with acts as diverse as Cyndi Lauper and Dee Snider, as well as performing in the musical Jesus Christ Superstar, she is backed by Rena Sands and JoSette (again, the spelling is all-important) on guitars, Gyda Gash (stop sniggering; I didn't invent these names!) on bass and Hillary Blaze on drums. So far as I know, they haven't released any albums but here they are live, covering one of Priest's biggest hits.


You know what? Hell with you all. They may not be strictly metal, but I'm including them because I think they're close enough. And anyway, it's an excuse to drool over such a rock chick. So sue me, I'm a guy. So they tell me...

Taylor Momsen (The Pretty Reckless)

Yeah, yeah I know! But ever since Vanilla put me wise to these guys I've thought their music is as close to metal as dammit, and I can blur the lines a little here; it's my journal after all. They've only been going since 2010 but have two albums, and naturally with looks like that frontwoman Taylor Momsen has been pursued by the gutter music press, but ignore all that and listen to their second album Going to Hell and tell me that's not metal.



Roxanne Gordey
and

Denver Whipple
(Edge of Attack)

A power metal band from Canada, Edge of Attack only released their debut album in 2013 and I've very little information on them, other than that Roxanne (first picture above) is their vocalist and Denver handles bass duties. There are three others in the band, all male.



Dianne van Giersbergen (Xandria, Ex Libris)

Unlike some of the ladies we've encountered here, Dianne was heavily trained in classical singing, starting at the tender age of four! She has a Batchelor's and Master's degree and is currently singing in two bands, as above. Xandria are a German symphonic metal band with six albums already, in existence since early 2003, while Ex Libris are a Dutch band in the same subgenre, and have had two albums, the last of which was released last year.

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I don't know whether this is really considered metal, and to be honest I don't really care too much. It's been hard trying to find a song with lyrics I can talk about that falls outside my own self-imposed criteria as to what is not acceptable, and it's taken a long time to finally settle on one, so this is what I'm going for.

Pain of Salvation are not a band I particularly have a lot of time for, or even know, but when we reviewed this album some time ago in the poor old PRAC (may its soul rest in peace) I was quite impressed with it, and in particular with this song.

“Rope ends”, by Pain of Salvation, from the album Remedy Lane, 2002
Music and lyrics by Daniel Gildenlöw

From what I can see, and again this is only pure personal speculation, the song concerns a woman who has had enough and just decides to end it all. That's nothing all that new, but the power of this song, for me, is the terrifying mundanity and ordinary everyday backdrop that this is played out against. We hear she has made sure ”The children are safe with her mom” while she attempts her suicide bid, but ”The shower chain broke, her neck hurts.”

This is when it really gets painful, as Gildenlöw describes how she chooses one of her husband's business ties --- such a mundane, boring thing, a tie worn to a meeting or to see a client, the very symbol of the workaday world and, interestingly, the object Ned Flanders described as a noose --- and deciding on a Winnie the Pooh one (so referencing the children as well as her hubby's perhaps less than adult taste in neckwear) she prays that ”Winnie is strong, and will not let her fall.” But life persists, as if to deny her her release, and the tie, though it is strong, becomes not the instrument of her demise. Rather, the decrepit state of the house comes to her aid, and the ceiling collapses, dropping her hard on the bathroom floor, where I think she dies after hitting her head, though I'm not sure. The final line would appear to support that though: ”Red stains on porcelain, and she's not there at all.”

Personally, for me, what's so shocking and powerful about this song is not that it features a young woman, a young mother --- ”Merely twenty” --- trying and perhaps succeeding in taking her own life, but that the things we associate with childhood --- Winnie the Pooh, and Piglet and Eeyore, all symbols of happier and more innocent times --- are forced not only to witness but to become part of and even aid in her suicide attempt. It's the ultimate perversion of childhood, that cartoon characters who have held our young hands and our young minds now become instruments of death and despair, of surrender and suicide.

”She is still young… (x4)

Another day of emptiness
This life is wearing her down
The room around her is a mess
Her children safe with her mom

She is still young but feeling old
Two children with different fathers
She sits on the bathroom floor alone
The shower chain broke, her neck hurts

Then another night of emptiness to wear her down
Naked to the world, she wraps her sadness in a gown
Her children fast asleep, she sears the dark with glassy eyes
Choosing carefully among her husband's business ties

"Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
But life holds her hand, refusing to let go
Leaving her breathing on the floor

They're still asleep, don't hear her cry
She's still obsessed with rope ends
This time she picks a stronger tie
with Winnie the Pooh and friends

She is still young but feeling old
A child dying to be a mother
Now she hangs from the ceiling all alone
All pressure is falling from her

Seeing guilt has taught her guilt, she's raised on disbelief
Merely twenty, beautiful, but with a taste for grief
She has learnt all that there is to know about hopelessness
Seeing that no effort in this world could stand her test

"Over!" she cries through rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful life escaping her young blue eyes
And Winnie is strong, would never let her fall
Prevents her from breathing till she's not there at all
But life holds her hands, refusing to let go
Leaving her breathing on the floor

Seeing guilt has taught her guilt she's raised on disbelief
Merely twenty beautiful but with a taste for grief
She has learnt all that there is to know about helplessness
Seeing that no caring in this world can ease her stress

Helpless she lies in rope ends and undies
Unseeing eyes fixating Eeyore's smile
"Over!" she cries as she's going unblind
Still in this life, still in this troubled mind
The ceiling let go, the old house let her fall
Dropping her breathing to the hard cold floor
Hitting her head - a broken china soul
Red stains on porcelain and she's not there at all

Breathing she cries for rope ends and silk ties
Beautiful eyes, Piglet stands shy behind
Broken she lies, undead and unblind
Beautiful life, beautiful crying young eyes
Blackened and bruised, learning how to see
Staring at her tooth - crimsoned ivory
Hours they pass - this broken china soul
Red stains on porcelain, and she's not there at all.”

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Trollheart

Sigh right back at you. You can't make me change my opinion just because you want me to. I understand that you, and a whole host of people love that album, but I'm entitled to see it, and review it, as it appears to me. You might as well have me try to convince you why Script for a Jester's Tear is an underrated classic. You wouldn't see it and would stick to your own preconceived view of it, which I would expect you to. I'm not saying Obscura is a crap album, just that I got nothing out of it. And nothing you say or do, including a sneery little post about how I "could have written it" will change that. You need to understand that I don't see all music the same as you do. No doubt you thought Evan Parker was great, I heard just noise and made fun of it. We all interpret music in our own different ways, and to try to push someone into seeing what you do, when it's clear they never will, is just wasted effort.

Also, remember, as always, ANYTHING I say here, unless it's backed up by other sources, is MY opinion and I don't expect everyone to agree. But if I say I don't hear melody in Album A, your quoting ten articles that say there is melody in it is equally pointless, as it's my opinion and not likely to be swayed by anything you write. I'll give most albums a shot, but if I don't like one I don't like one and nobody is going to convince me otherwise. You're just as closeminded in that regard when it comes to my music, which I accept and don't try to change your opinion. Why you keep trying to hammer me down until I accept your word that this album is great is beyond me. Just accept it man, and move on. It's only one guy's opinion on one forum in a web of limitless dimensions. In the end, what does it matter?

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Frownland

Trollheart, I linked the definition of melody (not even linked actually, I plopped it right into the post). I'm kind of surprised that even when the definition of the word directly conflicts with your, uh, 'interpretation' you stick to your guns as if I'm trying to convince you on why it should be your favourite record. You're just flat out wrong on saying that the album has neither structure nor melody. It's not your opinion of the album that I'm talking about, although this seems to be the way that you've taken it.

Until you accept this I'm going to go around saying that Phil Collins doesn't play drums...it's that similar of a stupid statement.

In short,

and that is all. You are allowed to not like the album, but that's not what we're talking about here.

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Trollheart

Trollheart: what melody means to me.

That old bugbear has reared its head again, and so I thought that, rather like last year, when I professed that I could not consider Grindcore as music (though I may investigate it and throw myself headlong into the genre next year, stay tuned) and had to explain to Janszoon how this could be, I find myself having to explain and justify my use of the word itself. This is not in direct response to Frownland, or anyone else, nor invitation to a fight, but my attempt to conclusively explain what I mean when I write about melody.

While the Oxford English Dictionary defines melody as

1. A sequence of single notes that is musically satisfying; a tune: he picked out an intricate melody on his guitar

1.1[MASS NOUN] The aspect of musical composition concerned with the arrangement of single notes to form a satisfying sequence: her great gift was for melody

1.2 The principal part in harmonized music: we have the melody and bass of a song composed by Strozzi

1.3[MASS NOUN] Sweet music; tunefulness

I have my own personal definition. We’ll get into how that can be so in a short while, but for the moment let’s just look at the above. Pick out several words that perhaps support my definition: “A satisfying sequence”. “Tunefulness”. “Musically satisfying.”

Now, some people would stick to the rigid definition that any sequence of sounds, not notes, is melody, and to a great extent yes, that is true. You can hear melody in rain falling, a river flowing, even the breathing of your loved one as they lie beside you. There are plenty of mundane, everyday objects that can be said to make a certain approximation of melody. The fridge, the dishwasher, my pet cats, the doorbell. Any sounds in a sequence can essentially be said to be melody of sorts.

However, when I think of melody, I think of music I can hum, a structured tune, something I enjoy listening to or can at least pick out the notes and chords in. Melody, though it is defined, is open to a certain amount of interpretation. How? Well because a word like “disabled” certainly could mean two very different things to two people, as could “sacrifice” or even “good weather”. Just because something is defined a certain way in the dictionary is not necessarily the only way it can be looked at. Take the word “pet”, for instance. Pet means any animal you keep as a domesticated companion, or something. But people who do not like pets might define them as a nuisance, a waste of time, a strain on the wallet. Both interpretations can be said to be true. Much of what we perceive around us is open very much to our own idea of what those things are.

So with melody. Everyone hears music a different way. What I call a beautiful keyboard passage might be interpreted as pointless noodling by another person, and what they consider a crushing brutal guitar groove might seem as noise to me. Both are right: it’s however they’re interpreted by different people that matters. If it didn’t, then everyone would like Perry Como AND Darkthrone: why wouldn’t they? They’re both music. One person however will find the former boring and the latter bitchin’, while for another Darkthrone would be noise and Como would be soothing. It is, again, all in the interpretation.

The only way I was able to get Janszoon to, I think, accept or understand what I was saying about not finding or calling Grindcore music was to use the example of two men talking about sports. “Do you play sports?” says one, to which the other replies “Oh yes, I’m a keen golfer.” The first one sneers and says “Golf? That’s not sport! Walking around on a field? Now rugby: that’s sport!” The first guy is not in any way attempting to say that golf is not sport, as it clearly is, but is giving his opinion that to him, it is not what he considers sport. Nobody is denying the immutable fact that golf is a sport.

So it was with Grindcore. I explained to Jansz that it wasn’t that I was saying it didn’t fit the dictionary definition of music, but that I did not consider it such, because it did not sound like it to me. The “to me” is very important of course; this is only my opinion.

And so, melody is something I expect to be tuneful or at least something I can follow, something that shows me a pattern in the music. If I don’t hear that, I consider the music not to have any melody. It’s probably helpful to always subconsciously add “that I can see/hear” to any comments I make about melody, because that’s what I mean: I can discern nothing that shows itself to me to be melody, nothing that satisfies my own, admittedly specialised, idea of what melody is.

I don’t wish to debate this to death, and as I say it’s not aimed specifically at anyone, but it comes up so often I felt the time was right to nail it down. Someone can tell me “You’re crazy man: Sixteen Photocopiers Running While A Kettle Boils has melody!” and I would not deny it, not at all. It’s just that I can’t hear it, can't make it out, and so to me, and perhaps only to me, it has none. Play a death metal album to anyone not into that scene and they’ll tell you it’s just noise. It isn’t (not always anyway) but to them it is, and you will do well to change their opinion. Boring, loud, melodious, confused, wandering, freeform, angry, depressing: these are all terms that can be used to describe certain music, as heard by one person, whereas another will hear something totally different. As I say, it’s all down to personal interpretation.

I hope that finally explains my position with regard to melody.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Frownland

tl;dr: I don't give a damn about no definitions, I'll up and make my own if anyone calls me out on it.

I'm sure that commenting on this will just cause you to dig your heels further in the sand, but just use a different word dude, or throw in a descriptor to clarify what you mean. For example "there's no melody" can easily be changed to "there's no coherent melody." If you were in a music class and threw out your little construct of melody on a test asking you to define it, you would get that question dead wrong. Since you're talking about music, it's probably a good idea to use musical terminology correctly as opposed to creating new definitions for them.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

TechnicLePanther

Except, like in the example where the guy says, "Golf isn't sport", you look like a total *******.

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