Trollheart

Screaming for vengeance (1982)
Now we're talking! The album to finally break Priest wide open Stateside and give them their first big hit single, this album reflected a return to the hard rock style and tended to drop much of the commercial, radio-friendly material that had characterised the last two albums. Ironically, it then became their biggest commercial success, selling over five million units worldwide, and by reviving interest in their back catalogue, caused all the other albums to be rated that side of the water too, which they had not been until then.

The album cover is the first really since British Steel that shows a band who mean business, as the metal eagle, known as the hellion, swoops down like something off the best Y&T album covers, its attitude somewhat reminiscent of the feared German Stuka divebombers of World War II. Opening with a powerful instrumental in a very Iron Maiden mould, “The hellion” gets things ready before we plough into “Electric eye”, and this is more like it. Seeming to be a song about CCTV coverage of the world, it rocks hard and batters all before it. A shrieking solo from Glen Tipton underscores the brilliance of this track and the fact the Judas Priest are back in no uncertain terms. After the lacklustre Point of entry I had feared they were watering down their sound, and I think they were, but here it's balls to the wall and pedals to the metal as they tear down the highway with a madman's grin and a pair of sunglasses, and quite possibly a shotgun or two in back just in case. Given that this hit around the same time as Maiden's seminal The number of the Beast, the boys had a lot of competition on their hands from the new kids on the block, and while that album had several hits from it and this only one, it more than holds its own and is considered one of the most important albums in Priest's discography.

“Riding on the wind” keeps everything fast and heavy, with an almost Brian Johnson-style vocal from Halford, then “Bloodstone” slows things down a little with a grinding snarler, a big heavy guitar intro and it powers along anthemically until we get the ballad in “(Take these) chains”, which I must say sounds more like a song you'd find on an Alan Parsons Project album than --- oh no, wait. It's now become a Journey power ballad. Hmm. This could be seen as a bad case of insecurity about the band's identity. It's certainly nothing like anything I've heard from them before, kind of with one foot firmly planted in the AOR/radio-friendly territory of albums like Point of entry and, to a somewhat lesser extent, British Steel. I find it a bit of an anomaly on an album that really was ticking along well until now. Maybe it's telling that it's the only track on the album not written by the band, but written for them by another songwriter.

Anyway, things get back on course with the thumping, pumping “Pain and pleasure” as Priest again explore their darker side, great growling guitars, then the title track kicks out the stays and rattles along like there's no tomorrow. Halford's voice is starting at this point to sound more and more like Dickinson (or should that be the other way round? Superb guitar solo here, surely ends in burned fingers! Must also note the powerful drumming from Dave Holland, who's still with us after three albums! Must be some sort of record. The twin guitars really make themselves heard on this track, then the big hit single that did it for them in the USA punches out of the speakers at you.

“You've got another thing comin'” is a fast rockin', headshakin' rock anthem which is so catchy you would almost think it was written by someone like Desmond Childs or Diane Warren, a real hitmaker, but no, it's the guys just doing what they do. Apparently they were surprised by how well the single did, had not even considered it for release, and it was a last-minute addition to the album in the first place. Destiny, huh? You can see how it was so successful though: it just has that indefinable element in it that makes it catchy as hell and still something you can rock out to. “Fever” starts slowly and with a really nice introspective guitar before it kicks up into something of a slow power rocker with a really memorable melody. And we're at the end already, as “Devil child” takes us out, again I feel something of AC/DC in it, but a good stomper with decent vocal work from Halford: not his best, but not his worst.

TRACKLISTING

1. The hellion
2. Electric eye
3. Riding on the wind
4. Bloodstone
5. (Take these) chains
6. Pain and pleasure
7. Screaming for vengeance
8. You've got another thing comin'
9. Fever
10. Devil child

This is undoubtedly a huge improvement on Point of entry and you can see why the Americans suddenly began taking notice of Judas Priest. Personally, I'm still finding it hard to get excited about them. Oh don't get me wrong: they're a great band, but I just ain't feeling it in the same was as I did with other metal artistes. I'm not impressed the same way I was when I first heard Manowar, or Motorhead, or Night Ranger or Saxon, or even Maiden. I don't feel that I've missed out all these years not having listened to Priest, and while it's interesting to see what all the fuss is about, I kind of don't really see what all the fuss is about. But we've albums to go yet, and miles to ride before we sleep.

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Trollheart

Let's stay in the USA for now as we check out one more before we get to my own favourite. I'm not even sure these guys should qualify as metal, never mind Pirate Metal, as they're entirely acoustic. But we'll see. They go by the interesting name of

Like Swashbuckle, they have only three albums so we'll listen to them all, but unlike their thrash metal countrymen, they have only been in existence since 2008, describing their music as “Heavy Mahogany”. Interesting to say the least. They formed an eight-piece, which is also interesting, but are now down to a sextet, consisting of:-
Wolfbeard O'Grady (Vocals, Accordion, Whistles)
Riven Rahl (Vocals, Toy Piano)
Smithy Crow (Vocals, Bass, Orchestral strings)
Stark Cordwain (Vocals, Irish Bouzouki, Whistles)
Deckard Cordwain (Vocals, Ukulele, Mandolin)
Legendary Pirate King Eric “The” Brown (Drums)

Their first album, then, was this one

Reign the Helm --- The Dread Crew of Oddwood --- 2009

Great traditional start with mandolin and whistles then the vocals (and I do mean vocals; almost everyone sings or joins in) are thankfully clear and easy to understand, because unlike the other bands featured here, I have no lyric sheets for these albums. The tempo increases a little now on guitar and I guess bouzouki (those ethnic instruments always give me trouble identifying them, and I must admit I have never heard of an Irish bouzouki!) The opening track is the signature tune for the band, called “The Dread Crew of Oddwood”, and raising a glass to comrades lost, with some fine group acapella singing. “The Ocarina of Time medley” features mandolin, some really nice guitar and accordion in an uptempo instrumental, which I have to guess from the title is a theme from the game of the same name, not that I would know. It's nice though. Some lovely pipes and whistles there, and you can get a kind of carnival feel from it, with sort of Spanish overtones. If you've played the game and I'm right that it's from that, then you already know what I mean.

“Cities burning” is the first time it even comes close to metalling up, with a big, rocking, um, accordion melody that blasts along as the guys sing about “Rape the women, kill the men/ Let's sack this fucking town!” Now that's metal! The main vocalist, whom I assume to be Wolfbeard, even puts on a growly death metal style vocal. Okay, now we're cooking! “Land ho!” is bloody hilarious. Listen to this: ”We're in Argentina/Got stuck in the marina/ The women hopped aboard our boat/ And showed us their vaginas!” And it's ALL acapella. Talk about a pirate chorus. ”We reached the port of Panama/ Nothing rhymes with Panama!” The final “Land ho!” goes on for over forty seconds! “Oddwood hornpipe” is, well, a hornpipe, while “Rum in the flask” is a shameless, hilarious rip-off off “Whiskey in the jar”! You have to hear the way they rearranged the lyric. Here's an example:

”As we were sailing over/ The shining salty ocean/ We saw upon the waters/ A Spanish treasure galleon/ We dropped the heavy canvas/ AS we readied up the guns fast/ We cruised right up beside her/ And we blew right through her mainmast!” Oh this is fucking hilarious to the max! I love this, just absolutely love it!

Hard to top that, probably impossible, but “Bottoms up” is another happy pirate drinking song, with great accordion and rollicking drums, but luckily I found lyrics for this as the guy singing (not the usual one) puts a sort of Spanish slant on his vocal and it's very hard to make out what the words are. There's an almost Russian folk melody feel to this: you kind of expect them all to start doing the sabre dance and go “Hey! Hey! Hey!” (They don't.) And all too soon it's over as we listen to “Eddie Kelly's medley”, with perhaps the best lyric in a song ever: ”We're a pirate crew and we'll murder you/ If you don't like this song, then fuck you too!” Oh my sides! I haven't laughed so much since, oh, I don't know when. Fucking classic!

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. The dread crew of Oddwood
2. Ocarina of time medley
4. Cities burning
5. Land ho
6. Oddwood hornpipe
7. Rum in the flask
8. Bottoms up
9. Eddie Kelly medley

Okay, okay, so there's no way this could be called metal of any stripe, but then we've featured, and will feature, weirder things this Metal Month, so I'm happy to keep going. They may not use electric guitars, growl the vocals or have long hair, but these guys know how to throw one hell of a pirate party, and they're ok in my book. I'm looking forward to the rest of their material, which is coming up .... now!


Rocktopus --- The Dread Crew of Oddwood --- 2010

A mere year later they were at it again, this time raping plundering and pillaging by royal assent, as they tell us in the opening song, “The Queen's decree”, in which they ponder on the irony of having been made licenced privateers, when they themselves had only recently attacked British settlements and slain English citizens. There's a faster, almost quasi-metal rhythm to this first track, with a carnival undertone, the vocal spoken rather than sung. There's a mad mandolin (?) solo and the sounds of battle. By contrast, “Leviathan” is a slow, moody lament on accordion ... no, it's changed now, into a jaunty folk ditty, tripping along with again mostly a spoken vocal, though the chorus is sung.

“Earth's end” marks the first time The Dread Crew tack away from pirate lyrics, as they recall Scott's expedition to the Antartic. It's a nice bouncy song, but I feel it's a little out of place, also there's none of the trademark humour these guys have displayed on their other album so it just doesn't do a lot for me. Kind of touching on “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” with “Where blue meets black”, starts off with a nice little hornpipe or something, then lurches along with pleasing craziness and into a repeat of “Land ho” which for some reason they now call “Land llo”, and continues their adventures shagging around the world. Things may be getting back on track.

Another hornpipe to take us into “Kraken skulls” (fucking great!) and inspired lines like ”Big squid! Oh shit! Big squid! Kill it!” and ”It tore twenty men into thirty and ten/ And did the most godawful things unto them!” “Skeletons” is a great little toe-tapper with a fantastic chorus and some wonderful accordion and bouzouki, then they take on the likes of Manowar in “Hear our cry”, as they ditch the pirate ship and eyepatches (and presumably the shoulder-mounted parrots too) and become warriors riding across the plain. Again, this song has no real humour so it doesn't chime with me, though there is a really great turn by Wolfbeard on the whistles. Meh.

At least “The legend of Mord and Tyver” gets the guys back on the high seas, and it bops along really well, but that doesn't last as now we're hearing about “The Frenchman's daughter”, about whom I care nothing. Get back to sea, ye scurvy dogs! Which finally they do, as in “Walk the plank” they come face-to-face with another pirate crew who try to rob them. Bad mistake! Whatever happened to honour among thieves? The Brotherhood of the Sea? All robbers together? Well, these upstarts are made pay for their mistake as they're sent to the bottom of the sea, throats agape. And finally, not content with robbing “Whisky in the jar”, they're off plundering Irish traditional music again, this time reworking “The divil is dead” for “Ketch medley”. Fantastic!

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. The Queen's decree
2. Leviathan
3. Earth's end
4. Where blue meets black
5. Land llo
6. Traveller's hornpipe
7. Kraken skulls
8. Skeletons
9. Hear our cry
10. The legend of Mord and Tyver
11. The Frenchman's daughter
12. Walk the plank
13. Ketch medley

Another fine album from The Dread Crew, though I will say there's not quite as much humour in this one as in the debut EP. Still, the likes of “Walk the plank”, “Kraken skulls” and “The Queen's decree” are great, and another “Land ho” is always welcome, to say nothing of the closer. Hopefully though the guys aren't getting more into the serious side of their music, for while they can play like demons and I defy anyone this side of The Chieftains to stand against them toe-to-toe on any stage, the great strength, so far as I can see, of The Dread Crew of Oddwood is in their rapier-like humour and their total irreverence for the material, and for the conventions of musical lyrics. In a world where, even in heavy metal, you often have to be careful what you say, they're like a breath of fresh sea air blowing in over the coast. Let's hope they can keep this up as we check out their last album.


Heavy Mahogany --- The Dread Crew of Oddwood --- 2012

Well it's a round of “Ahoy!”s to get us away, as “Meat bread and wine” is a great campfire/tavern song with a nice fast rhythm to it, driven mostly on guitar and accordion with a great shouted chorus delivered by all the guys. The tempo stays high for “When I sail'd” as the guys relate the tale of the notorious Captain Kidd, with a real sea shanty feel to it and more group vocals, the main vocal almost in a death metal style (not really, but it's more growly than the first) then “Flotsam epitaph” is good too, but so far I don't see much in the way of the humour I've come to expect from the Crew. Oh well, early days: there are fifteen tracks after all.

“Æirship of Doom” is different, with the guys becoming pirates of the air, and declaring ”This aerial arc puts Noah's to shame!” but realising ”Oh! Oh no! This goddamn thing's so slow!” Now there's a glimpse of the black humour I'm looking for. The song has an almost AOR chorus about it, with a lot of folk mixed in,and I love the Maiden nod: So hide your wives but prepare for your slaughter/ We'll descend on your town and kidnap your daughter!” then they go back into time and “Oddwood save America” as they help Washington win independence for the USA. Bloody hilarious, especially the mocking “Rule Britannia! Britannia rules the waves!” they throw in. Whistles really make this song and help create the right atmosphere. And only The Dread Crew could write “A portsman's reverie”.

Kind of the first lament on the album, lacking the energy and enthusiasm of the rest, and though not quite a ballad does slow things down a little, before we explode into “Brothel royale!”, and normal service is resumed! You hqave to feel for the poor guys when they open the song with the complaint ”There are those times in Oddwood's life when rape becomes a chore/ When stifling those unwilling cries it turns into quite a bore” so they head to a brothel, but beware the hooker's knife as ”We sing to you a song quite true of the night we nearly lost/ Our rigging boots, our swords and guns, our jewels and our cocks!” All accompanied by a mad dance on the accordion and bouzouki. And though they escape there's a “sting in the tail”, as they bemoan the fact that ”We scampered to exit and although we dodged their trap/ The following day, we're sad to say we all had caught the clap!”

Throwing in a death metal laugh then as we pile into “Berzerker” and the guys take on the role of Vikings, and it's great fun before we come to the first lively instrumental in “Oddwood building things” with whistles and accordion setting up a fine reel (or is it a jig? I'm never fully sure) then we're back at sea for some “Petty theft” with a great rocky beat and some great vocal harmonies as the guys realise they've been tricked into a trap. But of course, being the Dread Crew they ”Killed those bloody bastards/ And sacked their fucking town!” I love it when they warn ”We'll beat your bloody corpses/ With your children's severed arms!”

“Binged and purged” doesn't sound too pleasant, but it's no “Poop deck toilet wreck”, thank you very much Swashbuckle! Another bright breezy melody accompanies the story of a night of wenching, drinking and, you know, purging. If you've ever been that drunk, I guess you can sympathise with the Dread Crew as they stagger to their ship while the world spins around them. And after that, how about a “Flesh breakfast”? And there'll be a “Serpent's feast” too, before we're done, but before that, “Immortal souls” takes the Crew on a quest, knowing that ”Our bodies may rot, our bones fade away/ But our souls will live on/ Through the music we play!” Great sort of flamenco feel to this, with again wonderful vocal harmonies, but we're starting to come to the end of this crazy journey, with only two tracks to go.

The first is that aforementioned “Serpent's feast”, a triumphant, defiant song of courage and disdain for danger as the Crew march carefree into peril, nodding to their pirate metal comrades as they growl ”We'll throw up our horns!” and the mandolin passage especially, and if a non-metal song can get the blood pumping then this is sure to. WE close then on a medley, as the guys mix “The rights of Man”, “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” and “Ships are sailing” into what they call the “Seafarer's medley”and brings the curtain down on yet another great album from the fiercest and funniest pirate crew to ever put to sea.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Meat bread and wine
2. When I sail'd
3. Flotsam epitaph
4. Aership of doom
5. Oddwood saves America
6. A portsman's reverie
7. Brothel royale!
8. Berzerker
9. Oddwood building things
10. Petty theft
11. Binged and purged
12. Flesh breakfast
13. Immortal souls
14. Serpent's feast
15. Seafarer's medley

And that's it so far for The Dread Crew of Oddwood, though I'm reliably informed that by now they should already be in the studio recording their fourth album. I can't wait. This one started off in a manner which made me fear they had, somewhat like Swashbuckle, lost that humour that is so intrinsic to their special brand of music, but I needn't have worried. They're just as funny as ever, and even if they throw in a little more historical context than they used to, songs like “Oddwood saves America” and “Aership of doom” offset the more serious songs enough that you can still have a rollickin' good time with these guys. I only wish I could see them live.

When I originally thought of covering them, I had doubts about whether their particular brand of “Heavy Mahogany” would fit in, but I love them now and I defy anyone else not to. If you can listen to some of these songs and not crack a smile, then please go back to your home planet, because you certainly ain't human!

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Trollheart

Time to break down the doors and kick the charts in the face (well, probably not) as we once again check out the weird phenomenon that occurs when
METAL GOES

Most people have a love/hate relationship with Yngwie Malmsteen, a large percentage of whom come down on the side of the latter. But what can't be denied, even if you hate his style, is that the boy can play guitar! I haven't heard that much of him to be able to make up my own mind, just the one album, but I did enjoy it mostly. However we're not here to discuss my likes and dislikes, and the point about ol' Yngwie is that he covered a song you probably, again, would not expect, as part of his anthology released at the turn of the millennium.

“Gimme gimme gimme” by Yngwie Malmsteen, from the album The Best of 1990-1999, 2000.
Originally by ABBA, from the album Greatest Hits Vol 2, 1979 and also included as a bonus track on the CD remaster and reissue of the album Voulez-Vous, 2001.
Written by Benny Anderson and Bjorn Ulvaeus.

Malmsteen is known for his neoclassical style of guitar playing, and to my knowledge does not sing, so this will either be an instrumental or feature someone else on vocals.

Okay, well he gets over any accusations of homosexuality by changing the tagline to “Gimme gimme gimme your love after midnight”, when it's originally “a man after midnight”. I thought he might just shove “a girl” in instead, which, while it would scan, would be very obviously a replacement. This works better and the song does not suffer from its change. Comments on the YouTube video lead me to believe that it's Mark Boals on vocals, and as he's the one who sang the only non-instrumentals on the only Yngwie album I have heard, that does make sense, but I can't confirm if it is the case. Naturally Yngwie goes wild on the guitar, though for him it's actually reasonably restrained. A good job I must say overall.

Disturbed covering Genesis? Well, it happened. On their third album the guys took on one of the singles from the really pop era of Phil Collins and Co, and came up with this gem.

“Land of confusion” by Disturbed, from the album Ten Thousand Fists, 2005.
Originally by Genesis from the album Invisible Touch, 1986.
Written by Phil Collins, Mike Rutherford and Tony Banks.

I'm not a fan of Invisible Touch. There are some good songs, indeed some very good ones, but for me it's the point at which Genesis, having shaken off the pop trappings of ABacab and returned with a very prog album in their self-titled release of 1983, sort of stepped backwards and really in effect never really recovered, losing much of the remnants of the progressive rock that they had built their career on. But fuck that, and fuck Genesis, say you! You don't want to hear about some pussy prog rock/pop band. This is fucking Metal Month! You've all of next month to bore us to tears with Genesis. Get with the programme, Trolly! (Stop calling me Trolly; I'm not a drinks cabinet on wheels nor can load me up with your shopping). Anyway, the point is that normally I wouldn't be too enamoured of anyone taking on a Genesis song, but with this one, hell I don't mind. I'm sure Disturbed are relieved.

Interestingly, as Genesis used a video for this song in which they were represented as “Spitting Image” puppets, Disturbed opted to go for a cartoon depiction, and even more interesting, the vocalist sounds eerily like Phil Collins! They don't actually change the song much really; it is basically guitar driven so there's not too much to work with I suppose. Decent version though. Worth it? Probably, on the whole, no.

Turisas are a viking or folk metal band from Finland, and actually I featured this very album in the section “What's that all about?” last year, mentioning this very track and discounting it with a sneer. Now I find myself featuring it. Ah, how the mighty have fallen, or something. Well, in my defence, there's no way this song would be accepted as any kind of viking metal, and that's what I was all about (as it were) in Metal Month II. But this is Metal Month III, and this is what we're about at this point, so let's give it a fighting chance.

“Rasputin” by Turisas, from the album The Varangian Way, 2007.
Originally by Boney M, from the album Nightflight to Venus, 1978.
Written by Fred Jay, Frank Farian and Goerge Reyam.

Yeah, that one. The one everyone sings as soon as they're drunk enough at the Christmas party. The one that gets murdered at every karaoke party you've ever been to. The one whose lyric nobody remembers other than “Ra ra Rasputin!” It's a damn silly song to begin with, but then whoever said Boney M were ever about anything but fun and having a good time? What do Turisas do with it?

They certainly speed it up, as you would probably expect, and give it a kind of folk twist, which again is their forte. The chorus is roared, which is funny but also predictable, and the drums just go wild on it. Think someone's playing an accordion or fiddle or something there in the background. The spoken middle eighth has a very viking feel about it, and to make it even funnier (and somehow more authentic and true to the original) Turisas shot the video in a disco. Man, those Russians, huh?

Lacuna Coil are another band I know not too much about. I've heard one or two albums, and for what they do --- sort of a mix of gothic/symponic metal and power metal --- they're pretty godo at it. On one of the albums I do know, they cover an REM song, though this was not the first time they had “gone pop”, as they also have a version of Depeche Mode's “Enjoy the silence” on 2006's Karmacode, which, coincidentally I assure you, are the two LC albums I have heard. I don't quite remember how the REM one goes though, so let's have a listen to that.

“Losing my religion” by Lacuna Coil, from the album Dark Adrenaline, 2012.
Originally by REM from the album Out of Time, 1991.
Written by Bill Berry, Peter Buck, Mike Mills and Michael Stipe.
Never a huge fan of REM, I have heard the hits and also listened to Automatic For The People, but this was such a hit for them that you might as well say you had never heard “Everybody hurts”. Perhaps appropriate when you consider Lacuna Coil have recorded songs such as “Angel's punishment” and “Heaven's a lie”, though what the band's religious beliefs are, and whether or not they influence their songwriting I have no idea.

While REM's original is based around a mandolin melody, naturally Lacuna Coil's is harder, more direct and built on guitar and rippling keyboard, with a slight change in the tune of the vocal. Male vocals interchange with female, and it works well. You could actually, had you not heard the REM version, believe Lacuna Coil had written this. They certainly breathe new life into what could be seen to be at this point a somewhat tired song, ans whereas Stipe tended to, to my mind, whine the lyric, this is a forceful, powerful, angry vocal.

Back to power metal we must go, and our first visit to Greece, where we meet a band who have what I believe to be one of the coolest logos ever, see below.

Greece is not exactly known for rock music, never mind metal, but perhaps next year we'll get to delve more into them in “The International Langauge of Metal”. Or perhaps we'll range further afield yet. Who knows? But as it is, Emerald Sun have been in existence since 1998, and have released four albums in that time, of which we are concerned with their third.

“Holding out for a hero” by Emerald Sun, from the album Regeneration, 2011.
Originally by Bonnie Tyler, from the album Secret Dreams and Forbidden Fire, 1986.
Written by Jim Steinman and Dean Pitchford.

There have been a ton of versions of this song, including one in the movie “Shrek”, which started on slow piano and which I would have loved to have seen continue in that vein, but it's a high-powered, frenetic and exciting song, and I guess you can't hold it down. It was a big hit for Bonnie Tyler in her comeback after the spectacular success of “Total eclipse of the heart”, but although she had a massive hit with this song too (also written by Meat Loaf kingmaker Jim Steinman) that was about it for her. She's still releasing albums, but nobody really cares anymore. Emerald Sun tackled a version of this on their third album. Nobody cares about them either, but let's see if anyone should?

Good keyboard intro then the guitar bites in, and it's at the tempo you would expect. Not sure how they reconcile a male singing the lyric, as it specifically refers to needing a man, but in these days of gender equality maybe that doesn't matter as much as it did, and you certainly couldn't change the words: “I need a heroine, I'm holding out for a heroine”? Would be totally stupid. Maybe it helps that the singer sounds a little feminine, but I have checked and it's a guy. Good guitar solo there, waiting for the bridge, here it comes .... doesn't really change that much, just carries the song on as it was. As a version it's okay but not all that different to Tyler's version I have to say.

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The Batlord

That song is amazing. And I don't know if you're calling Rasputin or Turisas Russians, but Turisas are from Finland.

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Trollheart

Yeah, I realise my mistake now. I kind of got caught up in the whole "Lover of the Russian queen" bit and mistakenly thought Turisas were Russkies. Mad song. Mad. With extra mad on the side.

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Trollheart

As you should know by now, at Batty's urging I have taken this concept outside of and beyond the walls of Metal Month, and opened it out to all genres. It seems to be going quite well for now, but in the meantime I'm still stuck in here, waiting for the third instalment of this year's attempts by comics' biggest fan to upset me. So far, he has failed miserably, however when I see the words “Industrial Metal” and “Grindcore” together (yes, I realise Burn the Priest was not grindcore now Batty) I do shiver a little. Industrial always has this kind of cold, soulless, unforgiving image that makes me think of tall buildings frowning down on me, dark skies choked with acrid fumes from belching factory chimney stacks rising up like accusing fingers, and the dance and whirl of sparks as metal is struck with metal (very apt, huh?), while faceless, silent workers enclosed in safety masks carry on their work without a glance to left or right.

This is probably the image Industrial --- be it metal, new-wave or electronic music is intended to convey; the idea of joyless, automatic, relentless sounds bearing down on you like a pile of logs falling off a timber truck as it rounds a steep curve. I feel there will be little (assuming I can make out vocals, as there are no lyric sheets I can find) in the way of songs about human emotion or connection, and more relating to darkness, death, futility and doom. Kind of like Black Metal but possibly with a slower, rougher edge? Of course, I talk through my arse: I have no idea what to expect, having experienced little if any Industrial Metal, and the fact that Batty assured me that I would find nothing at all in this album that I could like or even tolerate has me wondering if I have been a tad overconfident up to now? Perhaps he's been saving the big guns for the last attempts?

Either way, it's not like I have a choice and so we may as well get on with it.

The Codex Necro --- Anaal Nathrakh --- 2001

I'm told that the band name comes from the spell Merlin utters in the movie Excalibur, which is a nice link back to reality before I'm dragged forcibly into the depths of Hell, but also a good excuse to delay listening to what could very well turn out to be an abomination. But time has flown, the play button has been depressed and the first harsh notes are beginning to assail my ears, so it's time to (hah!) face the music!

Okay, sort of stuttering guitar or maybe synth (this is another two-man effort, and one of them does vocals while the other plays “all instruments”, so I don't know if they use keys) then a heavy, doomy drum before hard guitar punches and slashes through as the drumroll goes crazy and the tempo fires off into the breakneck. Not sure if the singer is singing now or has just sat on a nail, but I think the former. Standard Black Metal vocal, meh. The guitar and drums are kind of a mixture of death and black; not quite sure where the industrial comes in. This is called “The supreme necrotic audnance” (not sure what an audnance is) and weirdly, there's some very melodic guitar coming through! Not the worst I've ever heard to be sure. This guy on vocals (who goes by the name, or I should say acronym of V.I.T.R.I.O.L; whether that stands for something or not I don't know, but I'm gonna call him Vit just to annoy Batty) alternates between a high-pitched screech as I already mentioned, and a growl so deep it seems to come right up from the depths of Hell. Not sure if he's making both sounds to be honest, but let's assume he is. More melodic guitar, really nice.

Have to laugh at a track called “When humanity is cancer” (reminds me of Frownland's Man is the Bastard) and it opens with confused screaming then a big roar as the guitar and drums kick back in --- I think I'll take it there are no keyboards here after all --- and looks like Donald Duck has made an entrance. Like the riff, very doomy in its way and quite catchy. Ooh, speeding up now into a thrash/speed thing and going heads-down. Now we have a sort of dark choral vocal, everything stops for one second (presumably to let ol' Vit catch his breath and maybe take a squirt of something for his throat) and we're off again. Not sure how this is going to last over more than five minutes, but to be fair, the drums have set up one bitchin' rhythm; it's really good! Now the guitar is coming in with a nice melodic line and really, like most black metal I've listened to, if I ignore the vocalist I reckon I can not only get through this, but quite enjoy it Guitar has got very almost bluesy there for a moment, then picking up again as we head into the final minute with a superb piece of shredding. Bravo! Oh, I should mention the name of the other guy in this devilish duo, shouldn't I? Goes by the handle of Irrumator. Hmm. Another word I don't think exists, but you can't deny his expertise or his talent, really shines through, especially when he goes all sort of almost introspective right at the end.

And there's a great guitar line to open “Submission is for the weak” (well, duh!), another five-minuter. I am spared Vit's aching throat for almost a minute before he croaks “Down on your knees!” which is the first intelligible thing I've heard from him. Won't be getting anything else out of that though, as he's off on one again. Wait, I think I heard the words “Fucking slut”, which would not be out of place in a song with such a title. Ah, I need to find lyrics for this. No luck yet. Now some voice is sort of chanting, in a normal voice, possibly in Latin? Really rockin' now! Supercool. “Pandemonic hyperblast” delivers exactly what it promises, knocking you over with the screams and the hammerpunch guitar, stops for a second then goes on with the screams and hammerpunch guitar. Not a lot to this one, I'll admit. “Paradigm shift – Annihilation” does have a great riff driving it, with some really nice work going on in the background. Oh, now we have a military drumbeat with a spoken vocal. Interesting.

Oh, I'm hearing the industrial now (five tracks in!) --- sort of dark, mechanical with a hint of hopelessness, but it's quickly back to the main guitar riff luckily, and we're off again. You know, for a six minute song this is not taking forever or anything. I find myself tapping my foot to the riff as it pounds along. Still no luck with lyrics so I have no idea what Vit's singing, but it probably doesn't matter. He hates humanity, I think, so it's probably mostly a variation of that. Irrumator is really the star here though: the dude can certainly play, and not just torture frets. Speaking of torture, sounds like “The technogoat” (Vote Goatfish!) starts off on the sounds of someone being tormented, then someone says something but I can't catch it and we're off and running again. Once more, superb guitar riffs and great melodies leaking through. Vit in the meantime is back to that bass guttural growl, then screaming his head off like a girl, but it all slows down to a real doom pace in the third minute and starts stomping along like some demented beast seeking its prey. Some more clips I think, another scream, and we're heading to the end.

“Incipid flock” has a fucking incredible guitar riff to kick it off, then unexpectedly slows into an almost blues groove while Vit mutters in a dark voice in the background, before waking up and realising he's left his passport in his friend's house, and has to go there before he can catch his plane. It's gonna be a rush! Now he's muttering scratchily to himself, probably cursing the traffic, and some very English-sounding voice is saying things like “Necrophilia”. Sort of a swirling guitar line taking the tune now as Vit bangs the steering wheel and checks his watch: he'll never make that flight now! May just have to sacrifice his friend to the dread god Azrael! But wait: she's not a virgin! Well, not since last night anyway! Ah, fuck it, he shrugs, The Dread Dark Overlord of the Pit won't know. And fuck him if he does. Ignoring him, Irrumator continues to churn out some really sweet riffage (copyright someone, I think Wpnfire or Mondo?) and gets into something of a boogie Sabbath groove right at the end there.

“Human all too fucking human” snarls Vit, as he watches his flight leave without him, and wipes the blood off his fingers. Apocalyptic guitar and drums here, pounding along. Amazing work near the end, and it bloody fades! And that takes us to the title, and closing track. “The Codex Necro” certainly kicks off with an ominous ringing guitar riff, then there's either a really strained vocal or a steam engine is pulling in, about halfway through. Bit weird. Think it's meant to signify a descent into Hell maybe? Unsure. Good though. Some voices shouting, can't make out what they're saying. The guitar keeps going over the whole thing, then in the last minute everything stops on one ringing guitar note, bells begin to toll, sounds of a gate opening, voices, screams and thunder, and I guess it's welcome to Hell folks. Oh, and a big frightened scream at the end.

Just exactly what I'm not doing, Batty. That was beyond poor. I actually quite enjoyed that. Other than the vocals of course, but I could get through them by making funny comments about what he might be saying, so once again I leave the final word to Master Yoda.

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The Batlord

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Wpnfire

I sensed that the Trollheart that ran metal month last year is not the same as the one that's running it this year when he withstood the pummeling assault of Gorguts and only provided a brief paragraph of his thoughts. He is thoroughly corrupted.

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The Batlord

If he can find melody in Anaal Nathrakh it's about time he got over his fear of grindcore.

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Trollheart

No, I checked: all Members' Top Tens got a short review, a few lines, a paragraph or two even last year, which is how I ran it this year and how I'm running it every other year. After all, you're talking about thirty albums here, and that's totally separate from all the other work done here. You'd hardly expect a detailed review for each, would you? Also, what could I write about Gorguts? Noise, noise, noise. Oh, and more noise. Growl. Scream. Punch from a guitar. Kick in the nuts from drums. Gore. Noise. Grind. Noise.

Hey! I just reviewed it!

Despite the belief to the contrary, I don't have an army of clones working round the cl --- hey! Where is number 956? Has anyone seen Number 956? He was here just a moment ago....

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018