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10-07-2015, 02:42 PM | #2832 (permalink) |
Born to be mild
Join Date: Oct 2008
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Time to finish off the Members' Top Ten list from Frownland, but first, disclosure: Due to some confusion on my part it seems I chose an older list Frown had compiled, and in association with him that list has been amended, to feature this at number 8.
All the Waters of the Earth Turn to Blood --- The Body --- 2010 In fairness to Frown, seven tracks, just shy of fifty minutes: that’s almost short by his standards. I’m not too familiar with sludge metal, but I can guess from the description that there ain’t exactly going to be any blistering guitar solos or keyboard runs, and everything I expect to be at a slow, doom metal pace. The Body is just two guys, so they have to get respect for that. Kicks off with “A body”, and I’m told they collaborated on this album with the Assembly of Light choir, which you can hear right away in the choral vocal that cleverly part of it sounds like keyboard chords, and it’s very soft and sepulchral for the moment. Have to admit,it’s nice and all but there’s nothing even vaguely Metal about this, at least so far. And I have a feeling the whole ten-minute track is going to be just this acapella chant. Ah, okay: I’m wrong. In about the seventh minute powerful guitar punches through and now we’re headbanging! The choir continues while the singer sort of shrieks or moans; it’s a little odd and not a tad offputing. Still, at least it’s rocking now. “A curse” is much heavier, mostly riding on a punchy drum line until about a minute in, then the guitar comes in with some sort of phasing or distortion or something. This is much shorter, thought it might be an instrumental but now there’s singing, and I use the word very loosely indeed. I have to admit, I absolutely hate these vocals. I came across something similar while researching for Metal Month, and I remember remarking how much I hated them. It’s like a morbid kind of desperate shriek, like the wail of the damned, like the cry of someone who knows something awful is happening but can’t stop it. Terrible. The music is not bad, but no more than that, so far anyway. Nothing has really stood out, except for the choir, and as they’re not part of this band I can’t really include them. “Empty hearth” reminds me of that Quantum Leap song, “The Lone Ranger”, with some sort of fast native chant or something going on before Chip King comes in with what passes for a vocal and just basically ruins what could have been a good track. Guitar work is okay and the progamming is interesting, but nothing more than that. I’m not now looking forward to the closer, all thirteen minutes plus of it! Percussion is good, very powerful and striking, but the chant gets a bit annoying after a few minutes. Nice slow punching guitar intro to “Even the saints knew their hour of failure and loss”, and the choir are back, which is actually welcome. Looking into the lyrics doesn’t help: most are a few sentences and that’s it. Interested to see that Yeats’s “The Second Coming” is referred to in this one, not that you’d be able to make out the words. The British TV Sci-fi comedy show “Red Dwarf” had a phrase: “Remember, it’s Rimmer’s mind out there: expect sickness!” I’d paraphrase that to “Remember, it’s Frownland’s music! Expect weirdness!” I don't think the guy has given me one simple metal album yet. Everything has been weird with an extra helping of strange and this is no exception. There’s a lot of squealing feedback guitar in “Sarin the brave” and now some sort of recorded conversation, maybe a clip? Who the fuck knows? This is terrible. Not just terrible, but Frownland terrible. Jesus. And the lyrics don’t help, unlike with good old Exhumed. They’re just full of hate, anger, despair and doom. Nice, guys. Nice. The only good thing about “Ruiner”, so far, is that there’s been no attempt by Chip to sing. The guitar is plodding, predictable and boring but at least I don’t have to listen to his wanker screeches. Ah, pox in a bottle! There he is! Can’t he take a fucking fag break or something? Jesus H Fucking Christ. Frown, do you deliberately pick out albums you know I’ll hate, out of some sadistic desire to make me suffer? I swear, this is worse than the fucking Torture Chamber! And now were up to that fucking epic. Christ on a unicycle! Almost fourteen minutes of “Lathspell I name you” to drag myself through. If I drank, I’d need a drink to get me through this right now. And there are a lot of lyrics to this --- I mean, comparatively. Whereas other songs have had two or three sentences this has well into the double digits, which means I guess I’m gonna have to hear Chip try to sing. A lot. Is that a violin? Hey, that’s nice. Doesn’t last of course, but it was a nice reprieve for a moment or two. Okay, I’ll admit there’s a nice sport of hypnotic rhythm coming into the song now (about minute seven) and a melody of sorts is developing, but it’s taken all that time to get here, and now of course they kick it apart and it dissolves on hard guitar with a lamenting voice chanting in the background. Nah, not my thing. I understand they’re trying to say something here, create an ambience, foster a mood, but in the same way that not everyone would accept or appreciate a long keyboard passage on a prog album to represent a journey or whatever, this does nothing for me. Just … nothing. Never listening to this again. Not by choice anyway. Hopefully we’ll have better luck with what now becomes his number four… Disco Volante --- Mr.Bungle --- 1995 I see the album is described as “the musical equivalent of a David Lynch film”. This is not good news for Trollheart. I don’t know why, but I never thought Mr Bungle were a Metal band; I assumed they were up there with Beefheart and his ilk. Maybe, in a Metal way, they are. With track titles like “Duet for guitar and oxygen tank” and “Desert search for techno Allah”, I may not be far off the mark. Starts off with a kind of doom metal groove with people just more or less chanting across it. This is, apparently, “Everyone I went to High School with is dead”. Indeed. Meh, it’s not the worst and at least it’s short. Doubt I’ll get away so easily with the rest of the tracks. I see some are over ten minutes. Frownland doesn’t do short, unless it’s apocalyptically-blow-your brains-out-short, as we shall see shortly. “Chemical marriage” has a nice organ line, sort of salsa rhythm or something, with the lyrics complete and absolute gibberish; most of them don’t even have vowels! DWV will love that. Kind of like listening to devils at their Christmas party. Pretty good actually. The next one seems to be a lot of noises --- things crashing, breaking, Tarzan yell --- then a sort of spooky organ with a sax going off somewhere, This is the first one with proper vocals, the lyric even references a quote by Poe, and there’s some rather funny stuff about someone who doesn’t get to play in the band and is, quote pissed off unquote. Crazy guitar, weirder percussion, very wild and chaotic, and this is going to be a while as this one is nine minutes long. Well it’s almost over now, but a little hard to take seriously; I’m not entirely sure you’re meant to. Next is that “Desert search for techno Allah” I mentioned. Weird moves to higher levels, and as I feared, Frown is bending the meaning of the term “Metal” into shapes it was never meant to be contorted into. This is in no way Metal and it’s quite annoying. Like listening to arabs having a rave or something. Just downright stupid. All right this is bollocks. I’m skipping through this. The next one is in fucking Italian! Lord almighty! Well at least there’s a big heavy guitar, which gives me some hope this might actually be some shade of Metal, though I wonder as it’s fading down now. Christ! Jew’s harp! And orchestral strings. Tell you what, Frown: anything I don’t believe is Metal I’m skipping through. I asked for your top ten METAL albums, not your top ten fucking EXPERIMENTAL ones! If I ever do Experimental Music Month I’ll feature this all you want, but for now, on I go to see if there is anything even vaguely Metal about this, which I’m beginning to doubt. Okay, I've had it with this. Fuck this crap. I’m not listening to any more of this. I have a new Iron Maiden waiting to be reviewed. Consider this a fail, consider it me cheating, consider it whatever the fuck you like, but do not consider it Metal but it fucking is not. To quote the mighty Batlord: fuck this shit. On to number three we go. I should love Sun O))) as I drone on so much, shouldn't I? Pi-tish! I'm here all month, folks! Seriously though, I've already suffered through I mean heard one of their albums and was not much better for the experience, so I'm not expecting big things from this. Be that as it may, it's in Frownland's top three, so here we go... Black One --- Sunn O))) --- 2005 Seems that for one of the songs here the guys purposely locked a guest singer in a coffin, knowing full well he was claustrophobic! Nice chaps, huh? Think I'll probably feel like I wish I could have locked them all in once this is done! Oh well, let's get this over with... Oh look! On to track three already and all I've heard are some vague growls and a guitar that sounds like it's slowly being dragged into a black hole. I feeeellll sooooo strrrrrannnngggge...... Um, okay, what the fuck! GPM has THREE tracks for this album! Three! Now, while I would consider that a blessed escape, that's hardly listening to the whole thing, so what the hell happened? Spotify? Not even one fucking song! Crap! So it's YouTube for me, eh? Not that it'll probably make that much difference... Okay, well now someone is screeching and there's rain falling but no music per se. Oh here comes a guitar. This is called “Cursed realms (of the winterdemons)” apparently. No wonder they're so pissed. Actually, in fairness this is at least interesting. Like listening to a badly-tuned radio in the rain. Hmm. There's also some tunish melody in “Orthodox caveman”, almost listenable. Again I'm getting very little out of this. Oh here comes the last track, and it's that one with the guy in a coffin. Should be good for a giggle, the only one I'll have had while listening to this album. Well all I hear so far is a low bass and bells chiming, but the song is fifteen minutes long so we'll see how it goes. Alright, I think I hear guitar now and there's a voice howling (unless that's the neighbour's dog again) and it does sound confined. I suppose if you're looking for the sound of someone buried alive, and the terror evoked thereby, you can't get better than this. I, however, am not, so it just sounds ... weird. Nah, Sun O)))'s weird, dark, glacially slow rhythms and melodies (such as they are) will never be for me. I think I'd rather listen to anything else really. Just mind-numbingly boring for over an hour. So if that's in his top three, what else is there? Well, glad (maybe) you asked. Fantômas amenaza al mundo --- Fantômas --- 1999 When I first look at the tracklisting for this album I almost faint, as there are thirty tracks! Then my heart starts to slow a little as I realise that the vast, vast majority of them are a minute or even less, so it's not so bad. Unlike Sun O))), I know absolutely nothing about this band, have heard nothing and only know of them through the conversations being held, mostly in Batlord's Avant-Garde Metal battle within the Metal Album Survivor thread, but they seem to be very highly regarded, by those who are into that sort of thing. Me? I'm about to tread paths unwalked and enter terra incognita, so it'll all be new to me. I get why Frown like this. It's as if he himself had written a metal album. Noise, effects, guitar riffs that start then stop suddenly, sound of a cat squealing (?), no real melody or tune to speak of. Lots of possible tuning of instruments. Wank, in other words. Bit of singing there on track three, now someone's roaring their head off while someone else tries out a drumkit. Jungle rhythm now which is at least interesting, then it's a death metal scream, then someone walking on a seesaw with springs on their shoes, and then someone doing DIY before dropping their drumkit down the stairs and cursing in Serbian as they run after them and try to get them before they hit the bottom. That's track nine, and I guess he didn't make it as I hear an ambulance pulling away. You know, this album is a lot more enjoyable if you imagine the scenes engendered by the crazy sounds on each. Someone just went through a plate-glass window there and now a cat is moaning. Another broken window, or someone hurled a bottle at the cat. Someone having a fit now on track twelve and suddenly --- unbelievable surprise! --- there's actual singing and, yes, yes! A melody! Track's only a minute long though so it won't last. The next tracks is FOUR SECONDS LONG! What the hell can you fit into four seconds? Absolutely nothing it would seem: total silence. I suppose Frown thinks that's the best track on the album! I'd be inclined to agree. Well, at least it's giving me a lot to write, which I didn't think I would be able to. Somebody fallilng down stairs again on track fourteen, followed by a bag of cats, there's actually a guitar riff in track fifteen and we're halfway through the album. Ambulance is back for track seventeen and then the next one is five minutes long! Wonder what they can do with five minutes? Lot of messing and noise, it would seem, with added screams and some sort of mad choral effect. I tell ya, this is worse than listening to Beefheart! Now we have a woman crying in fear and the sound of heavy doors closing, maybe? Oh, now donkey has wandered into the studio. Now on track twenty-five, where again oddly we get a melody of sorts, which of course does not last. Not long to go now. It's hard, nay impossible to write seriously about any of the tracks, as they all seem like snippets out of one song, then an extract of another, mixed in with some shrieks, wails, other noises --- none of it makes sense to these ears. So now we have a hard guitar riff and someone sighing on track twenty-eight, which only last a minute and a half, thankfully, and we finish off with some screechy guitar feedback and then the guys jump on a steam train it would seem, and steam the fuck out of my life, and good riddance to them. Jesus, what a ridiculous and pointless album! Exactly though what I'd expect Frownland to wet himself over. Just don't get it. At all. The worst album I've listened to since Merzbow! And so we finally come to his number one, and god only knows what awaits us at the summit of this mountain of madness... Torture Garden --- Naked City --- 1990 Oh well thanks a lot you cunt! FORTY-FUCKING-TWO tracks??? What the fuck is it with you and these gargantuan albums? Oh yeah: you're a pretentious dick, I forgot. Well, even though most of the tracks are only seconds long it's still going to be something of a slog. Oh, and I see this is one of Zorn's prjects. Even better. And it's not on Spotify or GPM. Great! So I have to go YouTubing. Jesus! Well at least in total it only runs for just over twenty minutes, so be thankful for small mercies I guess. Just noise and screaming with some extra horns thrown in, of course. It's just all blurring together, somewhat even worse than the previous album, with fast guitar, think I heard a bit of organ, screams, roars, effects. Meh. Just a mess. I can't write anything about this.Some discernible guitar and sax there, but at this point could not tell you what track. Maybe, I don't know, track nineteen? Twenty? Who knows? Or, indeed, cares? Batty, you should have chosen this for the Torture Chamber. Not only do I fucking hate it, not only is it more than forty tracks long, but I can't make out or latch onto anything and it's just setting my teeth on edge. Information for next year, perhaps, should we decide to continue? Well, that was the worst twenty minutes I ever spent, and I can think of a hundred better things I could have done with that time. Oh well, it's over now. And so is Frownland's top ten. Thanks for that. You bastard. To paraphrase Marvin the Paranoid Android: The first track was the worst. And the second. The third I didn’t like at all. After that, I went into a bit of a decline.
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10-07-2015, 04:04 PM | #2833 (permalink) |
Born to be mild
Join Date: Oct 2008
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We all know Motorhead, and the things they are known for writing about: beer, women, fighting, wars, motorcycles, beer, women, being loud, beer, women ... actually that's not true of me. I'm not that familiar with their discography, having actually heard only a few albums, but I get the impression they don't tend to trundle out the love ballads or write about their innermost feelings too often. Which is why I was surprised to find this song on one of their albums I decided to review. “Don't let daddy kiss me”, Motorhead, from the album Bastards, 1993 Music and lyrics by Lemmy Kilmister. The touchy subject of child abuse and incest is rarely if ever tackled by a metal band, and if it is, it's either treated tongue-in-cheek or in a very unsympathetic way, making the child into the little temptress. It's seldom indeed that we see a band, much less a band of Motorhead's reputation for hard drinkin', hard fuckin', hell with everyone attitude, attempt to take the subject on seriously, but that's just what Lemmy did on their 1993 album. In fact, he had written the song several years prior, and shopped it around unsuccessfully to female acts such as Lita Ford and Joan Jett. Perhaps the topic was just considered too hard to approach, or everyone offered the song felt it might damage their standing or be misinterpreted, but nobody bit, and so in the end Lemmy added it to the recording sessions for Bastards, and in fact it was released as a single from that album. The song sees the act of abuse mostly through the eyes of the girl, her plaintive plea, which she knows will be ignored, forming the chorus of the song. Lemmy contrasts the ways in which both parties look on the act: the girl, terrified both by being abused but also at the thought that she will be taken into care --- ”If she tells she'd be all alone/ They'd steal her daddy/ And they'd steal her home” --- so she allows the practice to continue, in the twisted logic that all sufferers from sexual abuse form to allow themselves to get through the day, believing she is safeguarding her future by sacrificing her present. The father, he doesn't care, and Lemmy snarls his contempt at him as he sings ”And Daddy lies by his daughter's side/ And he sleeps both deep and well/ No nightmares come to him tonight/ Though his daughter lives in hell/ For his seed is sown where it should not be/ And the beast in his mind don't care...” Three times he references God in the lyric, making it clear either that He does not exist, or that at worst He refuses to hear the little girl's prayers. He talks about God having a heart of stone, and not hearing the girl when she cries out to him. And the sad part is, there is no resolution, as in many of these cases, where the abuse drags on and on, until either the girl reaches the age when she can leave home, or gets old enough that the father loses interest, only being turned on by really young girls. You'd like to think he'd get his comeuppance, but Lemmy doesn't allow us this luxury, the idea that in the end everything will be all right. There's no revenge fantasy, no safe harbour and no place the young girl can hide, night after night reliving the same awful torture. It's a harrowing story, the song the more effective because it's played mostly on acoustic guitar, almost in a folk mode, the first verse sung acapella by Lemmy, and it's such a departure from the usual Motorhead fare that you can't hear it and not be affected by it. If nothing else, it certainly proves that Lemmy can write heartfelt, stark songs that have nothing to do with women and beer. ”Little girl sleeping in dreams of peace, Mommy's been gone a long time. Daddy comes home and she still sleeps, Waiting for the world's worst crime. And he comes up the stairs like he always does, And he never turns on the light, And she's wide awake, scared to death; She smells his lust and she smells his sweat. Curled in a ball she holds her breath Praying to a God that she's never met. Don't let Daddy kiss me, Don't let Daddy kiss me Good night. Little girl lies by her Daddy's side And she listens to him breathe; She knows there's something awful wrong That she's far too young to see. And she knows she can't tell anyone: She's so full of guilt and shame. And if she tells she'll be all alone; They'd steal her daddy and they'd steal her home. And it's not so bad when daddy leaves her alone; Praying to her God with his heart of stone. Don't let Daddy kiss me, Don't let Daddy kiss me Good night. Why, tell me why? The worst crime in the world. And Daddy lies by his daughter's side, And he sleeps both deep and well. No nightmares come to him tonight, Though his daughter lives in hell. For his seed is sown where it should not be And the beast in his mind don't care. And the only sounds are the tears that fall. Little girl turns her face to the wall; She knows that no one hears her call, But it seems like God hears nothing at all. Don't let daddy kiss me, Don't let daddy kiss me, Don't let daddy kiss me Good night."
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10-07-2015, 04:22 PM | #2834 (permalink) |
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Mr. Bungle has an overarching metal theme, although there are a lot of other genres squeezed in there, which is why I chose it. Boo for your skippage though (Phlegmatics in particular is heavy as ****), I consider it an avant-garde metal record precisely because its loose with the genre definition. I also picked it to get you to listen to it, which I've obviously failed at.
Black One is actually on Spotify, but you probably didn't find it because Spotify can't decide if the band is called Sunn O))) or Sunn 0))). With Fantomas, the 13th track doesn't have any music on it because of bad luck. I think there might have been more for you to "latch onto" and understand with the Naked City album if you listened to it track by track. Not that you would like it in that context, but it would give you the idea that it's a back and forth battle between genres seen in a grindcore context. If you listen to it all straight through with no prior knowledge, it would be a lot harder to discern the change ups from the start of the next one. At least you had the balls to stick it out on the list and go out of your comfort zone (well, at least until you man up and finish that Mr. Bungle record). Long story short, I think you need to start doing drugs my friend.
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. Last edited by Frownland; 10-07-2015 at 04:58 PM. |
10-07-2015, 05:48 PM | #2835 (permalink) | |
Born to be mild
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I don't particularly care what Zorn was trying to do, the statement he was making or if it was a clever commentary on why music sucks or whatever the fuck he was trying to get across. I didn't enjoy it, I move on. That's how I am. That album was just a total mess to me. As I said, Batty would have scored 100 percent success if he'd unleashed that on me in the Torture Chamber. Bear in mind too, just because music is out-there or avant-garde or different doesn't always mean it's good. I'm not saying Zorn adherents or critics wouldn't get anything out of it, but I'm not one of them: I'm just a poor schmuck trying to sample the world of others through music and I fail as often as I succeed, and this is a fail. I don't see it as my failure, I see it as yours really. You should know by now the limits of what I can stand, and yet you seem determined to push and push me further over the edge, as if somehow I will miraculously learn to fly. Well I won't: I'll just plummet to my death. This is why I wish you would take this into account when recommending albums to me. I realise this was YOUR top ten, and that's fine, but you should have expected me to hate most of it, rather than shake your head and wonder why I don't like the same music you do. I doubt I ever will. We may share certain common ground on occasion, but there are always going to be bands you're into that I would never be, or want to be, and vice versa. So this constant almost harrassment --- try it, try it! --- gets to be a little old and I would ask you maybe to try respecting that there are limits I will not, and do not want to cross. This seems to be something you are fundamentally unable or unwilling to accept: some of your music sucks, to me, and always will, so if you would stop trying to force me to like it that would be great. I'm not sure what you mean about listening to the Naked City thing track by track; that IS how I listened to it, how else could I? Also, on the Bungle; well it was not metal to me and this is Metal Month and I had lots of other things I could do, and I know you: you'll crowbar in the weirdest albums that just have the slightest tinge of metal in them just so you can make me listen to them. So I decided enough was enough; I listened to about half the album and that was more than enough. You're lucky I even got through that much. Why, seriously, do you do this? I don't try to force you to like Marillion or Genesis or any of my other bands. I accept you don't like them. I don't agree with your reasons but I respect your right to have them. Why can't you do the same for me? As for drugs: maybe you need to stop doing them. I wonder do you listen to these albums without the aid of drugs? If I needed drugs to appreciate an album then it would be a pile of crap as far as I'm concerned. I know that was a joke from you but it's a little annoying, to say nothing of coming across as condescending. I choose to believe you didn't mean it that way, but that's how it sounds to me.
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10-07-2015, 06:03 PM | #2836 (permalink) |
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1. You should take drugs. I take drugs, but this music is still brilliant to me when I'm sober. I just recommended that because you seemed especially close-minded on the Bungle review.
2. If you ask people to recommend things to you, try to be a little forgiving when they assume that you have some semblance of taste and end up recommending you an album that they really like. Especially given that you asked us what our favourites were, you shouldn't get all huffy and puffy about my selections. 3. Don't use weak excuses to avoid what you signed yourself up for. 4. I brought up the Naked City track bit because I thought that you had listened to the full album video on Youtube. I wasn't saying that you would like it, but that you would understand what the album is actually like if you did it track by track (which you did). 5. I never berated you for disliking these albums. 5. Go listen to Mr. Bungle, quitter.
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. |
10-07-2015, 06:13 PM | #2837 (permalink) |
and the livin' is easy...
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Frown, he'll listen to California in Love or Hate? and hopefully he'll enjoy that better.
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Many have tried to destroy it... but... true evil never dies. It is only... REBORN SUGGEST ME AN ALBUM - I'm probably not going to listen to it but I will if you bother me enough. |
10-07-2015, 06:17 PM | #2838 (permalink) |
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I'm sure he'll really like that one. Disco Volante is my favourite though, so I had to go with that even though I was sure of TH's opinion on it. Let's hope that someone didn't recommend an Iron Maiden album in the Love or Hate? thread, he might get overwhelmed with excitement and skip California.
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. |
10-07-2015, 06:32 PM | #2839 (permalink) | |||||||
Born to be mild
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10-07-2015, 06:54 PM | #2840 (permalink) |
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Getting and liking are two very different things, Trollheart, at least for me. You can try to dance around my close minded bit by saying "oh, but it's not", but it won't actually make you seem any less close minded. You gave up on Mr. Bungle without trying to see the metal elements that I can pick up on because you think it's weird. The diversity within the songs themselves should have been enough to suggest that the first song wasn't identical to the last, but once the exit door read "this might not be a metal album, maybe", you quickly ran to it. Kind of a textbook example of close mindedness right there, and I'm sorry if my accurate use of language is insulting to you. The bit about taste was slightly humourous, btw, since taste is subjective (I know, strange innit?). I also do love Disco Volante to the highest degree, which is why it landed on my list after you asked me to change it because you were familiar with some of the albums on it. Getting you to listen to it was only a small element of me adding it to my list.
Look, I don't want to fight with you or dominate metal month with bickering. If you had leveled half of your rants against me in the love or hate thread I'd understand, but you're acting as if my taste is a personal affront to you. I'd like to let you know that it is not. You should still do drugs though, they get a bad rep.
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. Last edited by Frownland; 10-07-2015 at 07:11 PM. |
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