Trollheart

No offence, but they call me narrow-minded? You literally like nothing else about Sabs? Not the lyrics, not the vocals, not the themes, the image, Geezer Butler's thick bass, Iommi's occasional keyboard work? That seems a terribly one-dimensional way to look at a band, and I honestly can't understand how anyone could say there is only one single thing about a band they like. Each to his own of course, and you're entitled to your opinion, but I've never heard a more restricted view of a band, never mind such an important and revered one.

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The Batlord

I don't know if you've already done Torsofuck for the Torture Chamber, or it you'd be willing to switch out their album for something else, but as they're a goregrind band like Exhumed, I'd like to replace their album with Absurd's Asgardsrei (the remastered and expanded version from 2012).

If so, then here's a Youtube link...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yZuRPWBbe0

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And now let's kick off the 2015 Members' Top Ten Lists, with once again himself at the fore. Frownland of course likes some weird stuff, and I expected hist list to be full of avant-garde/experimental music. Mostly, I was not disappointed, or I was, depending on how you look at it. Which we'll do now. Look at it I mean. His top ten. Beginning with his number ten, which is this:

Thoughtless --- Man is the Bastard --- 2012

Oh just great. Two guys who used to be in a hardcore punk band. All I need! Well, from the off they sound like a really bad Sabbath rip-off band, with the vocalist (?) mostly shouting the lyrics. Bit boring to be honest. I can certainly see their punk origins in most of the music here. Just loud, fast, anarchic and a lot of it pretty formless. Nothing engaging me at all yet. Lot of shouting, sure. Much of this is like listening to Black Metal without the melody. Did I really say that? Did I really equate BM favourably with melody? Well, compared to this, it's catchy enough for daytime radio airplay! Okay, now it's like I've accidentally put on Merzbow! “Prepared Hammond”? Prepared for what: sacrifice? Noise and more noise. Meh.

Oh look! It's gone into another noise track, and not one single solitary fuck has been given. Now we're onto the last track, and it's a brief eleven minutes long. At least there's music of a sort in this. Not sure if that's a garbage truck reversing outside or if that beeping is meant to be on the album. Also, don't care. In fairness, it's the best of what's here, if exceptionally repetitive, though that's not saying much. Goes on too long of course.

Generally speaking, a terrible album that I got little out of. Probably how he planned it, the cunning so-and-so.

And on to his number 9. Oh wait: it's Paranoid, and I did an intensive review on that last year, also it's not as if anyone here wouldn't know the album, so on to number 8. What? It's Ulver? The same album as I just reviewed yesterday? Well, who woulda thunk it? I must congratulate him on his taste though (number ten excepted, of course) and so we swiftly move on to his number seven already...

Dopethrone --- Electric Wizard --- 2000

Supposedly described as some of “the slowest Doom Metal imaginable”, I have to say I don't get that from it at least from the opener: Conan is much much MUCH slower. Kind of an Ozzy vocal; it's not bad. Pretty sure I listened to some EW last year and quite enjoyed it. Yeah, Witchcult Today, I believe, courtesy of Janszoon. Superb dark riff in “Funeralopolis”, around the third minute. Interesting to read that some of the longer tracks are only extended by adding up to ten minutes' silence into them. I suppose if you're stoned you don't notice, but I'll know to stop them when they reach the proper end. Guitar is pretty hypnotic and driving on this and the next track. Is that organ in there? No?

I guess my only real complaint so far is that there's very little variety, but I don't think there's meant to be really, is there, in this subgenre? Wow! The long, long, LONNNNNG outro on the third part of “Weird tales” was really epic and hit the spot. I think it would be hard to review this on a track-by-track basis (so thank the gods I'm not trying to do that here), but as an overall experience I think you can really get a lot of enjoyment out of it. Still, you can't beat the naked hostility and honesty of “We hate you” and then “Mind transferal” is just chaotic to the max. Overall I'd say a great album, though you would probably need to be in the right frame of mind to listen to it. Another solid release from Electric Wizard, but the slowest doom ever, and the most putrid, horrible record ever (to quote Jus Osborn)? No, I don't think so. Quite enjoyed that.

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Right through the ages, the world has been dominated by men. Men went to war, men passed and enforced the laws, men voted and for quite some centuries only men could work. Even when women were allowed to or attained the right to hold certain positions, these jobs were strictly limited due to various factors which saw them as “unsuitable”. And so it has been in the music world for a long time, remaining so even today. While there are female rock artistes, and bands fronted by or having ladies in their number, and while pop music tends to be the genre most amenable to allowing women to break through and establish themselves, Heavy Metal, long a holdout of the male, cavemanlike mentality, remains in general an arena dominated by men.

But there are of course many female contributions to this genre, and here I'll be taking a brief look at them; nothing too in-depth, but just enough to show that though this is still a genre very heavily weighted on the side of the male, the women are beginning to make their mark. I could of course have called this “A look at women in Heavy Metal”, or “The Fairer Sex: can they also be Heavy?” or even “Not just pretty faces”. But instead I'm going to go for the much snappier, sexist and possibly even mildly offensive (it is Metal Month, after all!)

There can't be a metalhead worth his or her salt who doesn't know of Iron Maiden, and of course if you know them then you know bassist and founder Steve Harris. But did you know that Steve has a daughter who is also in the Heavy Metal music business? You did? Well I'm going to tell you about her anyway.

Lauren Harris
Obviously, being the daughter of such a metal icon is going to give your career one hell of a boost, and Lauren has toured with her dad's band, supporting them on the Somewhere back in time tour and the A Matter of Life and Death tour, and has studied under Ross Ballard and David Grant. She has only released the one album to date, and typically dad plays bass on it, but has since formed a new band and a solo project, neither of which I can find any recorded material for. Which leaves us with just this to check out, her to date only full album.

Calm Before The Storm --- Lauren Harris --- 2008 (Demolition DR2 Records)

I have to be upfront and honest here: I think this may turn out to be a lot less metal than I had originally expected, or hoped. As she kicks off her new band, Six Hour Sundown, she mentions in an interview that the last record (this one) was more “pop-oriented”, which does not bode well. Also, look at her stated influences while growing up: Belinda Carlisle, Shakespeare's Sister, Alanis Morisette, Heart, Foo Fighters ... not exactly Motorhead, Metallica or Maiden, now is it? Still, you wouldn't expect her to just clone her father's music, and maybe listening to all that heavy metal drove her in another direction. If so, and the album turns out not to be what I had thought, then I apologise in advance. Still, she is Harris's daugher, and how could I not at least give her a chance here?

So, “Woe to you, O Earth and Sea ....”? Perhaps not.

Okay, well there's a very satisfying hard guitar and a driving beat to open “Steal your fire”, and it's got some real mean rock hooks about it, certainly. I can see the early Heart influence here and another of her heroes, Def Leppard, show their, er, spots in the more melodic chorus, but it's reasonably heavy. Dad's signature bass is evident all through of course, and Judas Priest's Richie Faulkner takes guitar duties, and does as you would expect from such a seasoned axeman. As for Lauren, well her voice is strong but at least on this track it doesn't immediately grab me as I would have expected it to. Nice keyboard arpeggios there from Tommy McWilliams, leading in the buildup to the end, then straightaway “Your turn” gives me a very Meat Loaf feel, a slightly rawer, dirtier edge to the guitar, but you can hear the pop influence on “Get over it”, which is kind of like a rocked-up Debbie Gibson or maybe if Miley Cyrus went metal! Great guitar work from Faulkner sure, and it keeps heavy enough to qualify, however I wonder if this is as heavy as we can expect the album to get? The vocal harmonies really bring the pop, although in fairness her voice is a lot better here. Perhaps she's better suited to singing this kind of music?

“Like it or not” has a sharper edge to it, though that riff seems like it's robbed from somewhere. Good vocal here too and a great solo from Richie, whiel the first real ballad (you knew there would be ballads, didn't you?) comes in the form of “From the bottom to the top”, and is pretty good in fairness. She really sings her heart out on this, and she hasn't gone for a slow, piano or acoustic-guitar-led song; rather it's more a kind of power ballad but without the cheese. Yeah, pretty damn fine really, possibly the best track on the album so far. Very Guns'n'Roses guitar solo from Faulkner, and he does himself proud on “Let us be”, which has another driving rhythm pulling it along and some fine keyboards too.

Nice acoustic opening to “Hurry up”, which seems to be the second ballad, with a very Country feel to it and more of the Heart influence. Another great track, though I've still to really hear the band totally rock out in a way that could be described as metal ... hold on though, this could be promising. Yeah, “Come on over” kicks it up several notches, with some good old seventies hard rock thrown in. Good stuff. “Hit or miss” keeps up the pressure, though it's sliding a little more into AOR territory here; good riffs keep things from getting too commercial, while “See through” goes more in that direction with some very catchy hooks and a chorus that could have come off Hysteria or Pyromania. The album ends on “You say”, which again brings in something of a Country influence but has a nice rolling beat and Lauren sings well on it. Definitely has something. But is it metal?

TRACKLISTING AND RATING

1. Steal your fire
2. Your turn
3. Get over it
4. Like it or not
5. From the bottom to the top
6. Let us be
7. Hurry up
8. Come on over
9. Hit or miss
10. See through
11. You say

It certainly wasn't as poppy as I had expected/feared, but at the same time I doubt anyone outside of Iron Maiden's fanbase would be likely to buy this, unless they just happened to stumble across it and found they liked it. Still, a decent effort and she certainly didn't disgrace her famous dad. Wonder what Six Hour Sundown sound like?

Of course, female involvement in male bands isn't restricted to just singing. There are some all-female metal bands, such as Girlschool and, but another area where ladies shine, and which is perhaps not as recognised is on the frets. I guess because you often may not realise it's a woman on the guitar; when a lady sings you can (usually) make out that it's a female voice, and of course most singers are also frontmen or women, so they will be front and centre. As well as that, whether we like it or not, female frontwomen will push their image based on their femininity, either as a “rock chick” like Jill Janus and Alissa White-Gluz, or as a sexy diva, like Maria Brink.

Your average female guitarist tends to get much less press, and yet some of them are excellent and deserve some sort of coverage. So let's look at a few, beginning with this lady.

Liz Buckingham (Electric Wizard)
By and large, you don't often expect to see women in doom metal bands. I know of the few I've experienced, with one exception other than this, it's been male-led and indeed male-exclusive all the way, so it's good to see women breaking into the male stronghold of doom metal. Liz Bucingham has been with British doom favourites Electric Wizard since 2003, appearing for the first time on their fifth album We Live, released in 2004. I've looked around but without going too far into research I can't see when it happened, but she is now married to frontman and founder Jus Oborn.

Self-taught, she took up guitar at nineteen and believes “I ought to be better!” Have a listen for yourself and judge if that's even possible...


Power metal has its fair share of the fair sex too. What about a Norwegian Naiad?

Ida Haukland (Triosphere)

Personally I don't know this band, but then, what I don't know about metal as a genre could fill several warehouses and still leave a tailback of laden forty-foot articulated lorries blocking the road all the way back to the docks, so, you know, I'm learning as I go. Triosphere come from one of the spiritual homes of power metal, Norway, and Ida plays bass and also sings lead vocals for them. She's also one of the three co-founders of the band, which was formed in 2004. She tells the story of how she “accidentally” learned to play the bass. Having been a keen guitarist since sixteen years old, she and her friends were trying to sneak into a rock show. The age-limit was eighteen and she was under that, and got stopped by two guys. Thinking she would be thrown out, she was delighted to learn that they were a band playing there and needed a bass player. She figured it out and has been playing ever since, making it into Metalholics magazine's “Top 15 Female Hard Rock and Metal Bassists” list for 2014. Her band had their third album, The Heart of the Matter released last year.

Here she is in action from their debut album Onwards.


Keeping with power/progressive metal, and returning to vocalists, this is perhaps an unfortunate surname to have, but it hasn't stopped her leading one of Pennsylvania's newest power/prog metal bands through two albums so far.

Sarah Teets (Mindmaze)

Sarah brings an extra string to her bow, the unlikely addition of flute (settle down there at the back! Take this seriously or get out. Oh...) and she can also play the oboe. She's currently attending school (I'm assuming this is college: you Americans call every goddamn educational establishment a school, for us school stops at age 18 and you move onto college if you want, but you don't say you're going to “school”. Anyway...) studying graphic design and apparently also works full time in a bakery... what? No, I am NOT going to make the obvious pun that she must be making a lot of bread, shut up. What's her music like? I haven't heard much so let her describe it herself, as she did in an interview in Femme Fatale webzine in 2013 (the question was “how would you describe your music?) Her answer...

”This kind of depends on what type of person I’m describing us to. For people who aren’t truly “metalheads” I usually honestly describe us as more of a hard rock band, because we aren’t THAT aggressive and for unfamiliar people, the term metal often suggests something heavier than what we do. For the metal crowd, I often say we’re a mix of classic traditional metal (Iron Maiden, Dio, Savatage), with some modern power metal (Firewind, Gamma Ray, Edguy) and also some old school progressive metal/rock (Queensryche, Fates Warning, Rush). We definitely have a fairly broad sound at times, that’s hard to really narrow down in a description.”

And here's what her band sounds like:

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Trollheart

Forming half of Canadian thrash merchants Mortillery are Miranda Wolfe and Cara McCutcheon. The former is the bass player and the latter handles vocals. The band has had two albums released so far.

Cara McCutcheon
and

Miranda Wolfe
(Mortillery)

With the band only having been around since 2008, a cursory jog around the interweb yields little in the form of information I can give you, but one interesting thing is that when asked what bands she would most like to support, Cara mentioned both Toxic Holocaust and Municipal Waste, Violet's two picks for my “Don't listen to that --- listen to this!” section. Spooky huh? No? Ah, just go listen to the band then...


Could you believe a face like that could sound like this? Well Batty will tell you all about Thorr's Hammer, who only released one EP in their short life, but it was shocking enough to jolt me in last year's Torture Chamber. Does she kiss her boyfriend with that mouth?

Runhild Gammelster (Thorr's Hammer)

Not only has she a voice that belies her angelic looks, and in fact drags you into the deepest pit of Hell, but Runhild also dabbles in dark ambient music, and has released an album under her own name. Apart from that, she has a PhD in cell physiology. So, not just a pretty face with a demonic dark horror voice then!

Be warned, if you've not yet heard this, this IS her singing... and don't be fooled by the easy beginning of the song!


Getting back to albums, and something a little heavier than Steve's sexy daughter, let's move on to

Alissa White-Gluz (Arch Enemy, The Agonist)
Arch Enemy have been going since 1996, usually with a male vocalist, but when original vocalist Johann Livia left in 1999 the Swedish melodic death metal band took on Angela Gossow, who recorded with them up until last year, when she was replaced by Alissa White-Gluz. Alissa had previously worked with fellow Canadians The Agonist (whom she founded) before taking up her post as Arch Enemy's third singer. She has also guested on albums by Blackguard, Delain and Kamelot, and in a perhaps un-Metal lifechoice, (though let's not forget the charming Cattle Decapitation!) she is a vegan, who supports animal rights and has been honoured by PETA.

Her only album with Arch Enemy thus far is this one, released last year.


War Eternal --- Arch Enemy --- 2014 (Century Media)

Trying to lull us into a false sense of security before pouncing and going for the throat, the album opens on a classical piece with operatic overtones, which must have helped her when she guested on Kamelot's Silverthorn and Haven, but of course this doesn't last and “Never forgive, never forget” launches the album proper, with a pounding guitar assault and then Alissa's vocal is, as you would expect from a MDM band, raw and ragged, belying perhaps her looks. But then, we all remember Thorr's Hammer from last year, don't we? Oh, and only the last entry too! I certainly do: still wake up in the night with the sheets clammy... Anyway, enough about me. To be fair, her voice is discernible for this sub-genre of metal and the guitar work is nothing short of superb. A good start then.

Michael Arnott overlays some really impressive keyboards over the melody, then the title track keeps things fast and heavy, and I can for once see why this band deserves the word “melodic” in their description. The guitars never descend into that unrecognisable mess I've seen in other bands of this nature, and there seems to be very much a sense of control over the chaos. Here, Alissa sounds just like a man, though I guess if you're growling it's not too hard to make that assumption, as generally we're used to women singing a particular way. Great solo from Arnott, then the first of five tracks written by Alissa herself kicks everything up to ten with “As the pages burn”, which slows down for the chorus but then ramps right back up after it. Some pretty crazy drumming from Daniel Erlandsson, as Nick Cordle and Arnott trade guitar licks. Another rasping delivery from Alissa as she exults in the twin roles of singer and songwriter, and Arnott again embellishes the tune with some sublime keyboard strokes.

The next one is one of Alissa's too, and “No more regrets” introduces some speed shredding from Arnott, making the previous track seem almost plodding by comparison. Well, not quite, but this is breakneck speed. There's a very definite classical or neoclassical feel to this, great ending, then we're back to an Arnott composition (he writes all the other tracks) with an almost indie idea in “You will know my name” before a Lizzy-like guitar takes the song. Slower, kind of boogeying along with a more restrained vocal from Alissa, then she takes a breather as we get the second instrumental. Fun fact: whoever wrote the Wiki page for this album made a spelling error and called it an “instrumetal”. Think I may rob and use that. Or maybe not. But it is very clever, even if it was a slip of the finger.

Anyway, this instrumetal (Copyright Trollheart JustThisMinute) is called “Graveyard of dreams” and it's a rather lovely little guitar workout, quite balladic with elements of the likes of prog or symphonic metal in it. But Alissa is back then with “Stolen life” and everything kicks up again, her voice rising in cadence as the song powers along on some really quite symphonic keyboard from Arnott as well as the twin guitar attack. The next three songs are all Alissa's own work, and “Time is black” starts with what sounds like glockenspiel and certainly has orchestral work in it, like something out of a Tim Burton movie before it picks up pace and power and lets loose in a fast rocker. “On and on” has a more kind of rolling drumbeat and is quite melodic, though no less heavy.

You probably have noticed I'm not going into the finer points of Alissa's singing. That's because I am in general not a fan of this type of vocal and nowhere near familiar enough with it to properly critique it. But she can certainly sing. And write. She's also seriously hot, which helps and I don't care who says it's not about that. Put her up against Alison “Alf” Moyet, there's no comparison and I know who I'd rather watch perform live. “Avalanche” has a kind of marching, warrior feel to it with some almost Power Metal guitar in there and some fine solos, a militaristic drumbeat driving much of it.

The album comes to a close with two tracks, one of which is “Down to nothing”, with a heavy, hammering percussion and squealing guitars that nevertheless have that semi-neoclassical idea behind them, and the closer then is another instrumental. If I were reviewing this album on its own merits then I would point out the interesting, almost amusing fact that there's a bonus track which is a cover of, of all people, Mike Oldfield's “Shadow on the wall”. But as I'm not, bollocks to that.

TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS

1. Tempore nihil sanat (Prelude in F Minor)
2. Never forgive, never forget
3. War eternal
4. As the pages burn
5. No more regrets
6. You will know my name
7. Graveyard of dreams
8. Stolen life
9. Time is black
10. On and on
11. Avalanche
12. Down to nothing
13. Not long for this world

Like I say, I'm not the best person to evaluate a vocal performance like this, but I can tell you I didn't hate what I heard, and Alissa must have some rare talent to be able to sing like that as a female, so she certainly deserves some respect. It would look like she's going to fit right in to her new role here.

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The Batlord

First of all, I don't think anyone has ever described Electric Wizard as "the slowest Doom Metal imaginable". I imagine you misread what was actually "the heaviest Doom Metal imaginable", which EW are regularly cited as, and especially Dopethrone.

And secondly, it's Michael Amott, not Michael Arnott.

Boom. Schooled.

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So, if I get this right, you're saying since I found Exhumed hilarious that the other band would not be likely to trouble me, and now you want to change it? Well, I haven't done any Torture Chamber albums yet, as like I said I kind of wanted to do it live (is that still possible via Skype with you or is that out? I don't mind doing all four at once if you're squeezed for time) so you can change if you want, but "remastered and expanded"? Just how expanded? We're not talking Frownland length here, are we?
I'm pretty sure it was slowest, but I'll have to see if I can find the quote again. Also, as to Michael Amott, may I just say, within the spirit of Metal Month III, up yours.

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Wpnfire

The atmosphere/emotions/moods that music evokes is pretty much the sole reason I listen to music, and all of my favorite Sabbath songs are my favorites because of Iommi's playing. Iommi's guitar tone, especially on Paranoid, is one of the most nihilistic yet somehow also badass things ever. "Iron Man" is simultaneously moody with those bizzare opening notes, and turns completely around to an incredibly badass song when that riff comes in. Maybe I was exaggerating a little bit with the "only" comment because to be fair, the entire band mechanic changed when Dio came in and everybody started playing a little differently. Also, I don't know if you've listened to Dopesmoker from my top 10 yet but that's another album where if the guitar tone wasn't as massive the album would be much less good.

I don't know if this post answers your questions but those are my thoughts.

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Last year we looked at those odd moments when a metal band decides to take on a well-known pop song, and saw both Children of Bodom with “Oops! I did it again” as well as Journey's “Separate ways (Worlds apart)” covered by Warmen. This year I'd like to expand that a little and look at other bands or artistes who have dared the ridicule of their fans and, either tongue-in-cheek or quite earnestly, stepped into the sugary world of pop and soft rock.

Let's take a look at what happens when
METAL GOES



“Call me” by In This Moment, from the album The Dream, 2008.
Originally recorded by Blondie from the original soundtrack album American Gigolo, 1980.
Written by Debbie Harry and Giorgio Moroder.

This has always been one of my favourite Blondie songs, along with “Heart of glass”, and shows for me Debbie Harry at her best and Blondie at their most commercial new-wave. It was of course a huge hit for the band when released as a single, and has gone on to become one of their most well-known and successful tracks. Though never on a studio Blondie album, it appears on every compilation of their hits, and in 2008 Maria Brink from In This Moment decided to tackle it. Officially, it was not on their second album, but did appear as a bonus track on the UK edition. It was then released as a single the next year.


It's a fun version, sticks fairly close to the original although of course they do metal it up; good heavy metal riff to introduce it, good solo in the middle, though in the video the constant headbanging is somewhat metal-by-numbers. Still, that's not what we're watching, is it lads?


Power Metal gets a lot of stick from “real” Metalheads, often unfairly, but it's this very schtick and kitsch that makes the subgenre then the perfect one to lampoon a pop song. And back in 2006 that's exactly what Twilight Guardians (what?) did, on their third album, when they undertook to cover one of Madonna's big hits (I said hits! Yeah, the joke's getting a bit tired now, isn't it?) and also possibly the least one likely to be covered by a metal band. Even a Power Metal one.

“La Isla Bonita” by Twilight Guardians, from the album Sin Trade, 2006. Originally recorded by Madonna, from the album True Blue, 1986.
Written by Madonna, Patrick Leonard and Bruce Gaitsch.

I do like a lot of Madonna songs, but this is one that never impressed me. It's way too laid back, Caribbean-sounding and .... well, just boring. It really doesn't change too much all through its short run and I imagine it went down well at trendy Spanish nightspots while the patrons were drinking their Sangria (or whatever trendy people drink at even trendier nightspots in Spain; I'm not trendy and have never been so can't comment) watching the sun set over the Mediterranean. But it just bored me. Didn't of course stop it becoming a hit single, but I'm interested to see what these guys did to it.

With a typically power metal keyboard and guitar dramatic intro, it kind of settles then into a reasonable facsimile of the single, though with of course a whole lot more bite. No congas or maracas here! A decent guitar solo too. Not bad, but it could have been better I feel.

Seems like every song here so far is turning out to be one by a female artiste, but I'm sure that will change as I dig a little deeper. For now though, ladies rule and here's another power metal band who covered a big hit for one of the first ladies of pop, this time it's the female Peter Pan (Petra Pan?) Cher.

“If I could turn back time”, by Pathfinder, from the album Fifth Element, 2012.
Originally recorded by Cher, from the album Heart of Stone, 1989.
Written by Diane Warren.

I am in no way a Cher fan. When I hear “It's in his kiss” I go looking for the razor blades, and her voice always sounds to me way too mannish --- not quite Bonnie Tyler rasp, but still nowhere close to what I prefer to hear from a female singer. That said, I did really enjoy her “comeback” album, Heart of Stone, particularly the title track and “Just like Jesse James”. This was one of the singles taken from that album, hitting the top ten all over the world and getting to the number one slot in some countries, though notably not the USA or the UK. I suppose it's inevitable I'd like it, as as you can see it's written by hitmaker Diane Warren, as indeed was about half of that album, perhaps accounting for its success and why I liked it so much.

Pathfinder are a Polish symphonic power metal band, who are apparently very successful in their native country, though they're unknown to me, but what else is new? They decided to cover the Cher song but once again it was only available as a bonus track, this time on the Japanese issue (perhaps because the Japanese would enjoy the joke more, or maybe Cher is super-popular there at that time?) but unlike In This Moment they chose not to release this as a single. Gotta have some pride, I guess!

Another good power metal intro, rattling drums, screaming guitars and then the song is suitably sped up for metal purposes, with some death screams thrown in for good measure. Some theatrics such as the singer whispering part of the lines, and they may be mimicking autotune, though I'm not sure about that. Just sounds a little odd. Typical power metal solo, though oddly I don't hear much in the way of keyboards? They certainly use them, but if they're there I can't make them out. Sort of an operatic vocal now then everything stops and, oh, there are the keys now. And into the big finish. Meh, decent but a case really of not being able to decide whether they're camping it up or are serious. Good group vocal in a Steinman/Meat Loaf vein there near the end.

Well, finally we have a guy. Well, a guy dressed as a girl. Well, sort of. You know Dee Snider. Twisted Sister were big in the glam metal explosion of the early 80s, sort of straddling the divide between the likes of Boy George and Motley Crue. Snider wore makeup and feminine-type clothes but never identified as, nor sought to be seen as a woman; it was all for the theatre. The last major TS album had this on it.

“The Leader of the Pack”, by Twisted Sister, from the album Come Out and Play, 1985.
Originally recorded by The Shangri-Las from the album The Leader of the Pack, 1964.
Written by Jeff Barry and Ellie Greenwich and George “Shadow” Morton.

It's certainly not the first time this song has been covered or parodied , one of the most famous of the sixties and the biggest hit for the Shangri-Las. Dee and the boys don't add much to the original though the video is quite funny, reflecting Twisted Sister's comedic slant on rock and metal. Meh, I've heard better.

Like this one for instance. Northern Kings are a Finnish band who got together specifically to cover pop songs, and include members from, among others, Tator, Nightwish and Sonata Arctica. I could have chosen anything from either of their, so far, two albums, but I love the idea of a metal band “taking on” (geddit?) a-ha, and so I've gone for this one.

“Take on me” by Northern Kings, from the album Rethroned, 2008.
Originally recorded by a-ha on the album Hunting High and Low, 1984.
Written by Magne Furuholmen, Morten Harket and Pal Waaktaar.

Still the song everyone remembers Norwegian superstars a-ha for, and their most successful single, “Take on me” was from their debut album and with it they burst upon the world stage, gaining fans and fame as their first three albums shot them to superstardom. Although “Take on me” is a good pop song, it's true that its main popularity and much of the reason for its success was due to its now iconic video, but it's still a great song. Let's see what their metal majesties did with, or to it.

Well not surprisingly it's guitar driven with a very power metal feel to it, a big instrumental introduction, then the vocal is sort of snarled, and though they follow the basic melody they really succeed in turning it into very much their own version, much better than Twisted Sister managed and streets ahead of Twilight Guardians. The phrase “making it yours” really applies here; they even add in a choral vocal middle eighth with a very symphonic metal slant on it. Pretty brilliant, and as an ardent fan of a-ha I'm not in the least insulted or annoyed. I think Morten and the boys would appreciate this rendition, and would be amazed to see how metal their little pop song could be made sound.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

I just don't want to be redundant. Exhumed are one of the few respected goregrind bands, but once you've heard one, you've heard them all. I picked Torsofuck for somewhat different reasons than I would have Exhumed, but two goregrind albums would be kind of boring.

And Absurd have some reasons all their own for being repellent to you, which, knowing your penchant for writing a band's biography in your reviews, will soon become apparent.

What exactly would be the benefit? Your reactions are what's important. Not mine.

It was originally a 27-minute EP, and now it's 46 minutes, so it's really just LP-length now.

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