music_phantom13

I was listening to some shuffle and a song came on that inspired me to write something in this journal. I didn't feel like doing a sample today and wanted to ramble on about something. I thought I'd use this song to explain why music is so integral to my life.

Music gives me something that I haven't found anywhere else. I can be an obssessive and bipolar person when it comes to the things that interest me. It's a problem that I can't avoid right now as I try to decide what I want to major in. I see some people that have a goal from a young age, that simply know what they do, and realize I'm nothing like that. I might be completely fascinated with electronics one day, building all sorts of various electronic devices, learning to design schematics. Then like a switch I can become bored with it and move on to, say, learning to program, teaching myself multiple languages at the same time and write dozens of programs before that starts to bore me. It's hell trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

But if there's one thing that I haven't lost, it's a love of music. The songs blasting out of my speakers drive my life, they're my constant companion. Music can get me pumped or calm me down, inspire introspection or encourage socializing, cheer me up or be my miserable companion. Some songs are just fun to listen to, some make me think about the world differently, some provide an emotional output. Whatever I need, music has the answer, and it always has. This song explains the power that it can have in my life, and why I'll never get bored with music.

The song is:



In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is one of my favorite albums. And while I enjoy all of the songs, this in one in particular is very important to me.

I've changed a lot these days after the military and some growing up and whatnot, but once upon a time I wasn't the motivated, optimistic person that I am today.

I was 18 in the grips of a full blown addiction, and my group of best friends was torn apart when several passed away and several received hefty jail sentences. My anchor in life was a girl I had grown up with, that I hit it off with immediately when I moved at the age of 9, and that after years of flitting around the idea had finally started dating the year before. She gave a meaning to my life and a reason to live when nothing else could.

NMH was her favorite band and one of my favorites, and after losing several friends we turned to this song for its upbeat attitude combined with the lyrics. It was played practically every day and made some sense of life.

Sadly I came home one evening and found her, she had overdosed and didn't make it, and at the time I didn't think I would ever get over it. Of course life goes on, and now more than five years later I'm doing fairly well for my self. But this song is still like the friend that I can talk to when I'm lonely or thinking about her. It was a very horrifying experience and I've never met anyone that can completely relate, so it's hard to talk to people about. Holland, 1945 understands. While it might sound stupid to you, the music reminds me that she's up there somewhere watching me still.

I doubt if everyone can relate to this entirely, but I think most people on here probably have songs that move them in a similar way. Something connected to an old memory, nostalgic, of a particularly happy time. For a short time it lets you relive those memories, in a way something like a picture never can. And that's part of why I love music, and am sure that I'll never grow bored with it or move on to a silent life - I dread the thought.

Sorry for the probably somewhat depressing post, I'm doing fine these days and not looking for pity or anything. Just thought I'd share a bit about my connection with music through this song and consider one of the amazing aspects of music.