Urban Hat€monger ?

10. Dr. Dre - I Need A Doctor (feat. Eminem & Skylar Grey)

Nice to know that after all these years Eminem still sounds like a petulant teenager who's whining about being grounded. The video is hilarious. He looks like a little kid lost on some sci fi movie set. I was half expecting some guy in a clipboard to come into shot and lead him away to where his mummy was waiting for him in the wings
This is over slick, over glossy, over expensive, over produced garbage.
This is to hip hop what November Rain was to rock music.
You hit a moment where you think to yourself ...WHY?
Don't you have anything interesting left to say?
Where's the attitude?
Where's the energy?
Where's the balls?
Hip hop now reminds me so much of how hair metal was circa 1990, just lost in it's own extravagance, fat & bloated just waiting to die.
Now if only something would come along & kill it.


09. Rihanna - S&M (Come On)
Boom
Thud
Boom
Thud
Boom
Thud
(Parpy 80s synths)
Boom
Thud
Boom
Thud
Boom
Thud
(Parpy 80s synths)
Boom
Thud
Boom
Thud
Boom
Thud
(Parpy 80s synths)
Rihanna is wailing away over the top of this about how she's such a kinky bitch or something.
Just like that last female pop singer who said the exact same thing probably using the exact same beat & tune maybe 2 or 3 weeks ago.
I couldn't watch the video to this. It's too dangerous for my virgin eyes apparently and I couldn't be bothered signing up an account on Youtube just for this shit. Which is quite funny considering her titties have been splashed (literally) all over the internet and viewable just about everywhere.
Still at least I know who she is which is more than I can say for....

08. Katy B - Broken Record
Like one of those anonymous club anthem one hit wonders from the 90s
Katy B ladies & gentlemen 2011's Olive
everybody sing along with me
"Youuuuu are not alllllloooone"

07. Jessie J - Price Tag (feat. B.o.B)
Why is it that every music producer seems to think that sticking a rap in the middle of a song that clearly doesn't need one makes it sound hip?
Do something different for fuck sake
How about a kazoo solo?
How about a marching band?
How about a stadium full of people with vuvuzela's
How about an entire fucking orchestra made up of people with down syndrome?
Anything but another fucking rap

B.o.B .. You're not needed on this record
Fuck off.

06. Wiz Khalifa - Black And Yellow
The best tribute to Stryper I have ever heard


05. Nicole Scherzinger - Don't Hold Your Breath
No please do hold your breath.
Preferably for around 5 minutes or so.
Let us know how you do

04. The Black Eyed Peas - Just Can't Get Enough
Fortunately I did however get enough of this autotuned peice of shit, somewhere around the 20 second mark.

03. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem ft. Lauren Bennett, GoonRock
Timmy Mallet retro cool
Actually forget that, It makes it sound much better than it actually is.

Spot The Difference

02. Adele - Someone Like You
This song breaks all the laws of physics. Time seems to ground to a halt, The concept of infinity becomes a revelation in your mind. The understanding of it rushes over you and you realise that you are a part of something never ending (this song). Adele quite literally has invented something that will go on forever. i bet she's still in a recording studio as we speak still singing it and whether it be 100 year, a million years, a million million years this song will still be going on in a seemingly endless loop for all eternity.
Or at least it felt like it anyway.

Dull

01. Jennifer Lopez - On The Floor ft. Pitbull
Booty shaking club anthem taken from her forthcoming concept album based on the life & works of Russian poet & playwrite Vladimir Mayakovsky and his concepts of Russian futurism entitled A Slap Of My Arse In The Face Of Public Taste.
Pitbull says "Yeah, Yeah" a lot.

__________________