Urban's Journal Of Half Assed Ideas

The Batlord · 10-30-2014, 07:34 PM

Are you sure the link to the pic of the album cover that's down didn't just go down by itself? Sometimes links just die.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 10-30-2014, 07:39 PM

No because it's hosted on my photobucket account and it's still there.

And of course it had this written where it was...
Moderator cut: image removed

Urban Hat€monger ? · 11-06-2014, 08:38 PM

It's time for the bi-yearly...

Posting In The Style Of Other Posters

No.2

Music is not my hobby, it is my life, it is what I do, it's what I am. If I stop doing it, I have no reason to live, my life would have simply stopped.

My hobby is penguins. I love penguins--all penguins really but Humboldt Penguins in particular. I can name the vast majority of them right off. Some people watch birds, I watch penguins. I don't collect them (although I did have a pet Emperor Penguin once). Penguins need to be free or they can't do much for our ecosystem--which largely depends on them.

The penguin is clearly something that crawled out of the ocean and only changed enough to stay on land but if they chose to go back to the ocean, they could. I don't think a more successful creature exists.

Starting about 350 minutes ago, this sea creature that left the ocean became a penguin. We have penguins preserved in amber from that long ago. Amazingly, it has changed not a wit in all that time. 100 million year old bee fossils show us that bees were wasps at once time. Roaches have evolved differently for all kinds of environments. But penguins--no matter that the environment (and they live in all of them), they are no different then they were when they made their first appearance on the planet.

Their hard shells became a beak, their spiny points became wings, their slime-producing organs began producing a new improved slime called shit. Like all, ocean creatures, they display high intelligence.

Emperors, Rockhoppers, Humboldt and Gentoo Penguins are called Penguins. These are a more primitive type of Penguins. They have vertical rather than diagonal beaks, are generally feathery, Rockhoppers have 2 eyes rather than 8. Penguins produce chocolate biscuits but don't put the wrappers on. They have two large protruding feet whereas other penguins have 4 to 8 microscopic ones.

Penguin (pronounced "Peng-win") is a Greek compound of "pen" or Bic and "Gwyn" or girls name. Pen-Gwyn. It looks nothing like a Bic which resembles a stick with ink inside it.

They are superb hunters. Unparalleled masters of predation.

Jumping penguins are classified as clever bastards of which there are some 500 genera and 5000 species--the most numerous of any penguin family. Unlike most penguins which have poor vision, clever bastards have superb vision. Because they are feathery and do not wrap chocolate biscuits, they share some common ground with other penguins. But are much more recent--about 50 million years.

Penguins' eyes are paired and each pair are generally functionally different from the other pairs and are different sizes. Although they look exposed, the eyes have a tough transparent covering. You could touch their eyes with your finger and it won't bother them but they might make a noise and peck you.

Jumping penguins' eyes are mounted on a kind of cupola or tower and are elevated over the rest of the body. Markedly different from other penguins. Penguins are built amazingly like the jet fighters used in the military. That's really what they are--nature's jet fighters.

Jumping penguins don't wear a helmet.

Cute li'l fellas, ain't they?

Pet_Sounds · 11-06-2014, 09:07 PM

S-hit, those are a lot of penguins.

The Batlord · 11-06-2014, 09:37 PM

I'm pretty sure I have a penguin infestation. I was cleaning behind a dresser a while ago and one came running out from behind it. I had to beat it to death with my shoe.

Trollheart · 11-07-2014, 06:27 AM

You forgot this one. Rare I know but still...

and this

Urban Hat€monger ? · 11-07-2014, 06:48 AM

If it's not a Humboldt I'm not interested.

Plankton · 11-07-2014, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

It's time for the bi-yearly...

Posting In The Style Of Other Posters

No.2

Music is not my hobby, it is my life, it is what I do, it's what I am. If I stop doing it, I have no reason to live, my life would have simply stopped.

My hobby is penguins. I love penguins--all penguins really but Humboldt Penguins in particular. I can name the vast majority of them right off. Some people watch birds, I watch penguins. I don't collect them (although I did have a pet Emperor Penguin once). Penguins need to be free or they can't do much for our ecosystem--which largely depends on them.

The penguin is clearly something that crawled out of the ocean and only changed enough to stay on land but if they chose to go back to the ocean, they could. I don't think a more successful creature exists.

Starting about 350 minutes ago, this sea creature that left the ocean became a penguin. We have penguins preserved in amber from that long ago. Amazingly, it has changed not a wit in all that time. 100 million year old bee fossils show us that bees were wasps at once time. Roaches have evolved differently for all kinds of environments. But penguins--no matter that the environment (and they live in all of them), they are no different then they were when they made their first appearance on the planet.

Their hard shells became a beak, their spiny points became wings, their slime-producing organs began producing a new improved slime called shit. Like all, ocean creatures, they display high intelligence.

Emperors, Rockhoppers, Humboldt and Gentoo Penguins are called Penguins. These are a more primitive type of Penguins. They have vertical rather than diagonal beaks, are generally feathery, Rockhoppers have 2 eyes rather than 8. Penguins produce chocolate biscuits but don't put the wrappers on. They have two large protruding feet whereas other penguins have 4 to 8 microscopic ones.

Penguin (pronounced "Peng-win") is a Greek compound of "pen" or Bic and "Gwyn" or girls name. Pen-Gwyn. It looks nothing like a Bic which resembles a stick with ink inside it.

They are superb hunters. Unparalleled masters of predation.

Jumping penguins are classified as clever bastards of which there are some 500 genera and 5000 species--the most numerous of any penguin family. Unlike most penguins which have poor vision, clever bastards have superb vision. Because they are feathery and do not wrap chocolate biscuits, they share some common ground with other penguins. But are much more recent--about 50 million years.

Penguins' eyes are paired and each pair are generally functionally different from the other pairs and are different sizes. Although they look exposed, the eyes have a tough transparent covering. You could touch their eyes with your finger and it won't bother them but they might make a noise and peck you.

Jumping penguins' eyes are mounted on a kind of cupola or tower and are elevated over the rest of the body. Markedly different from other penguins. Penguins are built amazingly like the jet fighters used in the military. That's really what they are--nature's jet fighters.

Jumping penguins don't wear a helmet.

Cute li'l fellas, ain't they?

I'm ****in dying. Thats some funny ****. Clearly the work of some comic genius that crawled out of a night club some 350 minutes ago.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 11-17-2014, 10:30 AM

It's the return of the series that nobody asked for, let alone wanted back.....

Urban Listens To Every Single 'Now That's What I Call Music' album.

It's 26 November 1984 and it's time for

Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 4 Part 1

Paul McCartney - No More Lonely Nights
This is a lot more uptempo and 80s sounding than I remember it being. I could have sworn this was a ballad. Maybe that's how he plays it live, I don't know I'm no McCartney expert. I would have preferred it to be a ballad to be honest because this is awfully lightweight.

Giorgio Moroder with Philip Oakey - Together in Electric Dreams
Speaking of lightweight this should have been amazing. I love the Human League, Morodor was responsible for all those Donna Summer records my mother played to death during my childhood which I still love (I Feel Love >>>>> Kraftwerk's entire discography) so why is it just so mehh. It's far too twee for it's own good, this should have been a hard hitting banging floor tune, God, that synthesized guitar solo just screams mid 80s, just a shame it doesn't scream anything meaningful. Mind you this was around the time The Human League began to lose it so I shouldn't be too surprised.
Wasn't this the theme to a movie or something? I can't be bothered to check.

Bronski Beat - Why?
Here comes Jimmy Sommerville & Co to show Morodor & Oakey exactly how you do it. Sure it's dated a little but by Christ this is still a great pop tune (Synthesized horns >>>> synthesized guitar solos)

Limahl - Never Ending Story
Thankfully the same can't be said of his career which ended shortly after this song. Almost as depressing as the horse dying in the swamp. I hate this song so much, it's so bad you could probably bet that even someone like Bucks Fizz turned it down.

Nick Heyward - Warning Sign
I liked Nick Heyward when he was a member of Haircut 100, to this day I've no idea why they broke up so quickly. Heyward's solo material is nowhere near the greatness of his former band. This song is interesting it's kind of sounds like it can't decide if it wants to be an 80s pop tune with all it's synthesizers and slap bass or one of those generic stadium rock bands with a wailing guitar solo. I'm not sure about this one.

John Waite - Missing You
This bastard seemed to be in Kerrang! every other week during the late 80s based on the fact he used to be in The Babys in the 70s (nope, me neither) who apparently rocked at one time. Although from what I gather they seemed to be the type of band from the UK who nobody in the U.K. actually cared about and sold bucket loads in the U.S. Kind of like a 70's Bush. Why they chose to feature him in the 80s so prominently I've no idea because all he ever seemed to release was this overly boring AOR shlock that makes Foreigner & Journey sound like fucking punk bands.

Michael Jackson - Farewell My Summer Love
Oh fuck off.

There is actually a reason why this dross is on this compilation and it's got very little to do with this getting to No. 7 in the charts. You see the Now! compilations were a collaboration between EMI & Virgin and whichever other companies they could get licences from. CBS/& Warner Bros started their own copycat series called 'Hits' with their acts..... Including Michael Jackson.
As Motown had released this song instead of Epic Records (Owned by CBS) as a cash in Virgin/EMI jumped at the chance to get the licence from Motown and stick this on the compilation and give the middle finger to CBS / WEA for stealing one of, or if not their biggest act.
Did I mention I hate this song.

Lionel Richie - Hello
http://www.musicbanter.com/1054884-post113.html
http://www.musicbanter.com/1054886-post114.html
Don't really feel I need to add anything here.

Culture Club - The War Song
War war is stupid and people are stupid
war war war war war war war war war war

Yes thanks for this gripping political message George
You're not exactly Edwin Starr are you.

Elton John - Passengers
I find as I get older I'm kind of warming to Elton John's output although I draw the line at Candle in the fucking wind.
This is catchy, silly and very hummable which is probably why I remember it so well even though I don't think I've heard it since 1985.

Julian Lennon - Too Late for Goodbyes
This is a pretty good song although I'm more of a fan of Sean Lennon who put out a fantastic album on the Beastie Boys Grand Royale label in the mid 90s of which the name escapes me right now. Both of them sound just like their Dad which must have been more of a curse than a blessing. Nice harmonica solo, you didn't get a lot of them in 80s pop. For some reason I remember him playing the cello but then I remembered that was Julian Lloyd Webber. I wonder if there's a club for people called Julian who have more well known family members.

The Style Council - Shout to the Top!
The pinnacle of Paul Weller's post Jam career.
He never topped this again no matter how many turgid Dad rock albums he put out afterwards.
Anyway let's focus on the positives here, this is a top tune with some great strings. Proof that the Style Council weren't really crap after all.

Thompson Twins - Doctor! Doctor!
Even now I can still picture that chick with the huge perm with the sides shaved.
Everybody has heard this and I still like it.

Heaven 17 - Sunset Now
I LIKE Heaven 17 and I don't even remember this.
Not particularly memorable even after hearing it but not really bad either. A little bit too lightweight pop for my tastes.

The Kane Gang - Respect Yourself
I was hoping this would be a release of that old soul song, but then I remembered it was The Staple Singers who sang that and not this lot.
This is that other 'Respect Yourself' song with all those synths and the chorus that goes 'naaaa na na na naaa naaa dee deeee deee deeeee deeee'
Disappointing.

Tina Turner - Private Dancer
How is it that someone who was so great in the 60s & 70s can go on to sing this crap. Bland bland bland with an extra dollop of bland. This woman sounds amazing when she's singing something that requires rawness and power. On this she just sounds like what Sade might sound like after smoking 80 B&H a day for a year.
Awful.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 11-23-2014, 04:05 AM

Give me Love, give me Can, give me Meat Loaf
Give me Rush, give me Marquee Moon
Michael Ball, or The Fall
I could listen to them all
In the twilight or the afternoon

Irk the purists
Irk the purists
Irk the purists
It’s a right good laugh

Irk the purists
Irk the purists
Irk the purists at the back

Hall & Oates, random Goth, Miles Davis
Patti Smith, Simply Red, Sly Stone
Be they false or for real, I don’t care and nor does Neil
Just so long as we can hear their song

Irk the purists
Irk the purists
It could well be an Olympic sport

Irk the purists
Irk the purists
If you’ve never, then you ought

Husker Du-Du-Du
Captain Beefheart, ELO
Chris de Burgh
Sun Ra
Del Amitri
John Coltrane

Irk the purists
Irk the purists
Come on now boy, you know it feels so right

Irk the purists
Irk the purists
Irk the purists tonight

10-30-2014, 07:39 PM	#332 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	No because it's hosted on my photobucket account and it's still there. And of course it had this written where it was... Moderator cut: image removed __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

11-06-2014, 08:38 PM	#333 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Penguins And I It's time for the bi-yearly... Posting In The Style Of Other Posters No.2 Music is not my hobby, it is my life, it is what I do, it's what I am. If I stop doing it, I have no reason to live, my life would have simply stopped. My hobby is penguins. I love penguins--all penguins really but Humboldt Penguins in particular. I can name the vast majority of them right off. Some people watch birds, I watch penguins. I don't collect them (although I did have a pet Emperor Penguin once). Penguins need to be free or they can't do much for our ecosystem--which largely depends on them. The penguin is clearly something that crawled out of the ocean and only changed enough to stay on land but if they chose to go back to the ocean, they could. I don't think a more successful creature exists. Starting about 350 minutes ago, this sea creature that left the ocean became a penguin. We have penguins preserved in amber from that long ago. Amazingly, it has changed not a wit in all that time. 100 million year old bee fossils show us that bees were wasps at once time. Roaches have evolved differently for all kinds of environments. But penguins--no matter that the environment (and they live in all of them), they are no different then they were when they made their first appearance on the planet. Their hard shells became a beak, their spiny points became wings, their slime-producing organs began producing a new improved slime called shit. Like all, ocean creatures, they display high intelligence. Emperors, Rockhoppers, Humboldt and Gentoo Penguins are called Penguins. These are a more primitive type of Penguins. They have vertical rather than diagonal beaks, are generally feathery, Rockhoppers have 2 eyes rather than 8. Penguins produce chocolate biscuits but don't put the wrappers on. They have two large protruding feet whereas other penguins have 4 to 8 microscopic ones. Penguin (pronounced "Peng-win") is a Greek compound of "pen" or Bic and "Gwyn" or girls name. Pen-Gwyn. It looks nothing like a Bic which resembles a stick with ink inside it. They are superb hunters. Unparalleled masters of predation. Jumping penguins are classified as clever bastards of which there are some 500 genera and 5000 species--the most numerous of any penguin family. Unlike most penguins which have poor vision, clever bastards have superb vision. Because they are feathery and do not wrap chocolate biscuits, they share some common ground with other penguins. But are much more recent--about 50 million years. Penguins' eyes are paired and each pair are generally functionally different from the other pairs and are different sizes. Although they look exposed, the eyes have a tough transparent covering. You could touch their eyes with your finger and it won't bother them but they might make a noise and peck you. Jumping penguins' eyes are mounted on a kind of cupola or tower and are elevated over the rest of the body. Markedly different from other penguins. Penguins are built amazingly like the jet fighters used in the military. That's really what they are--nature's jet fighters. Jumping penguins don't wear a helmet. Cute li'l fellas, ain't they? __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

11-06-2014, 09:07 PM	#334 (permalink)
Pet_Sounds Remember the underscore Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: The other side Posts: 2,488	S-hit, those are a lot of penguins. __________________ Everybody's dying just to get the disease

11-07-2014, 06:27 AM	#336 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	You forgot this one. Rare I know but still... and this __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

11-07-2014, 06:48 AM	#337 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	If it's not a Humboldt I'm not interested. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

11-17-2014, 10:30 AM	#339 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	It's the return of the series that nobody asked for, let alone wanted back..... *Urban Listens To Every Single 'Now That's What I Call Music'* album. It's 26 November 1984 and it's time for Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 4 Part 1 Paul McCartney - No More Lonely Nights This is a lot more uptempo and 80s sounding than I remember it being. I could have sworn this was a ballad. Maybe that's how he plays it live, I don't know I'm no McCartney expert. I would have preferred it to be a ballad to be honest because this is awfully lightweight. Giorgio Moroder with Philip Oakey - Together in Electric Dreams Speaking of lightweight this should have been amazing. I love the Human League, Morodor was responsible for all those Donna Summer records my mother played to death during my childhood which I still love (I Feel Love >>>>> Kraftwerk's entire discography) so why is it just so mehh. It's far too twee for it's own good, this should have been a hard hitting banging floor tune, God, that synthesized guitar solo just screams mid 80s, just a shame it doesn't scream anything meaningful. Mind you this was around the time The Human League began to lose it so I shouldn't be too surprised. Wasn't this the theme to a movie or something? I can't be bothered to check. Bronski Beat - Why? Here comes Jimmy Sommerville & Co to show Morodor & Oakey exactly how you do it. Sure it's dated a little but by Christ this is still a great pop tune (Synthesized horns >>>> synthesized guitar solos) Limahl - Never Ending Story Thankfully the same can't be said of his career which ended shortly after this song. Almost as depressing as the horse dying in the swamp. I hate this song so much, it's so bad you could probably bet that even someone like Bucks Fizz turned it down. Nick Heyward - Warning Sign I liked Nick Heyward when he was a member of Haircut 100, to this day I've no idea why they broke up so quickly. Heyward's solo material is nowhere near the greatness of his former band. This song is interesting it's kind of sounds like it can't decide if it wants to be an 80s pop tune with all it's synthesizers and slap bass or one of those generic stadium rock bands with a wailing guitar solo. I'm not sure about this one. John Waite - Missing You This bastard seemed to be in Kerrang! every other week during the late 80s based on the fact he used to be in The Babys in the 70s (nope, me neither) who apparently rocked at one time. Although from what I gather they seemed to be the type of band from the UK who nobody in the U.K. actually cared about and sold bucket loads in the U.S. Kind of like a 70's Bush. Why they chose to feature him in the 80s so prominently I've no idea because all he ever seemed to release was this overly boring AOR shlock that makes Foreigner & Journey sound like fucking punk bands. Michael Jackson - Farewell My Summer Love Oh fuck off. There is actually a reason why this dross is on this compilation and it's got very little to do with this getting to No. 7 in the charts. You see the Now! compilations were a collaboration between EMI & Virgin and whichever other companies they could get licences from. CBS/& Warner Bros started their own copycat series called 'Hits' with their acts..... Including Michael Jackson. As Motown had released this song instead of Epic Records (Owned by CBS) as a cash in Virgin/EMI jumped at the chance to get the licence from Motown and stick this on the compilation and give the middle finger to CBS / WEA for stealing one of, or if not their biggest act. Did I mention I hate this song. Lionel Richie - Hello http://www.musicbanter.com/1054884-post113.html http://www.musicbanter.com/1054886-post114.html Don't really feel I need to add anything here. Culture Club - The War Song War war is stupid and people are stupid war war war war war war war war war war Yes thanks for this gripping political message George You're not exactly Edwin Starr are you. Elton John - Passengers I find as I get older I'm kind of warming to Elton John's output although I draw the line at Candle in the fucking wind. This is catchy, silly and very hummable which is probably why I remember it so well even though I don't think I've heard it since 1985. Julian Lennon - Too Late for Goodbyes This is a pretty good song although I'm more of a fan of Sean Lennon who put out a fantastic album on the Beastie Boys Grand Royale label in the mid 90s of which the name escapes me right now. Both of them sound just like their Dad which must have been more of a curse than a blessing. Nice harmonica solo, you didn't get a lot of them in 80s pop. For some reason I remember him playing the cello but then I remembered that was Julian Lloyd Webber. I wonder if there's a club for people called Julian who have more well known family members. The Style Council - Shout to the Top! The pinnacle of Paul Weller's post Jam career. He never topped this again no matter how many turgid Dad rock albums he put out afterwards. Anyway let's focus on the positives here, this is a top tune with some great strings. Proof that the Style Council weren't really crap after all. Thompson Twins - Doctor! Doctor! Even now I can still picture that chick with the huge perm with the sides shaved. Everybody has heard this and I still like it. Heaven 17 - Sunset Now I LIKE Heaven 17 and I don't even remember this. Not particularly memorable even after hearing it but not really bad either. A little bit too lightweight pop for my tastes. The Kane Gang - Respect Yourself I was hoping this would be a release of that old soul song, but then I remembered it was The Staple Singers who sang that and not this lot. This is that other 'Respect Yourself' song with all those synths and the chorus that goes 'naaaa na na na naaa naaa dee deeee deee deeeee deeee' Disappointing. Tina Turner - Private Dancer How is it that someone who was so great in the 60s & 70s can go on to sing this crap. Bland bland bland with an extra dollop of bland. This woman sounds amazing when she's singing something that requires rawness and power. On this she just sounds like what Sade might sound like after smoking 80 B&H a day for a year. Awful. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.** Last edited by Urban Hat€monger ?; 11-17-2014 at 10:39 AM.

11-23-2014, 04:05 AM	#340 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Give me Love, give me Can, give me Meat Loaf Give me Rush, give me Marquee Moon Michael Ball, or The Fall I could listen to them all In the twilight or the afternoon Irk the purists Irk the purists Irk the purists It’s a right good laugh Irk the purists Irk the purists Irk the purists at the back Hall & Oates, random Goth, Miles Davis Patti Smith, Simply Red, Sly Stone Be they false or for real, I don’t care and nor does Neil Just so long as we can hear their song Irk the purists Irk the purists It could well be an Olympic sport Irk the purists Irk the purists If you’ve never, then you ought Husker Du-Du-Du Captain Beefheart, ELO Chris de Burgh Sun Ra Del Amitri John Coltrane Irk the purists Irk the purists Come on now boy, you know it feels so right Irk the purists Irk the purists Irk the purists tonight __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.