Urban's Journal Of Half Assed Ideas

Urban Hat€monger ? · 10-02-2014, 08:01 PM

My Bond Wishlist

Here's my Top 10 of artists I'd like to see do a Bond theme, plus some other people who's time has probably passed or who I think would have done a great job of doing one in the past.

1. Jarvis Cocker
I just think that with his singing style and his tongue in cheek humour he'd be a perfect match for a Bond theme, just listen to him sing something like I Spy and imagine something similar as a Bond theme. I think it would sound awesome.

2. Kylie Minogue & Nick Cave
They're due a reunion, why not on a Bond theme?

3. Beth Gibbons
Ever since Portishead came along in the mid 90s I'm astonished that she's not been asked to do it yet, her voice fits into that mould so perfectly.

4. Morrissey
I think his voice fits the bill, let him loose on the lyrics and it could be real interesting. I doubt he'd ever do it but maybe his buddy Nancy Sinatra could convince him otherwise.
I can dream.

5. Janelle Monáe
If I was a betting man she would be the woman I put money on to sing on the next movie. I think she has to be a frontrunner and if it was announced she was doing it I wouldn't be surprised in the least.

6. Stuart Staples
Lead singer of Tindersticks, he could be like a 60s crooner like Matt Monroe but with a little bit of modern day grit. Huge fan of this guy but I doubt he'll ever be a big enough name.

7. Bjork & Brian Eno
Simply because you wouldn't have a clue what it would sound like until you heard it, ask her and you could get anything back. I think she has the voice to pull it off. Throw in Brian Eno into the mix as well and you could have audio dynamite.

8. Lætitia Sadier
Maybe it's the Stereolab fanboy in me talking but fuck me, that French accent is sexy as hell. Love to hear what she sounds like singing with a full orchestra.

9. Annie Clark
I love her voice simply because there's something kind of strange about it that I can't quite put my finger on it that I think would be a perfect fit with the kind of psychedelic strange looking opening titles you get in Bond movies.

10. Lady Gaga
If Madonna gets a shot to fuck it up why shouldn't she get a chance? It would either be a total turd of a song or she'd pull it off spectacularly. Actually she wouldn't look out of place actually appearing in the opening titles singing it either.

Honourable Mentions

Ronnie James Dio
I'm totally serious here, imagine Ronnie singing a big 80s power ballad backed by a full John Barry conducted orchestra, it would be beyond awesome. Why get some lame pop band to do that when you can get someone with an unmistakable voice.
And if Chris Cornell can be asked to do one...........

Shara Nelson & Massive Attack
Trip Hop kinda broke into the mainstream around the same time that the franchise was being relaunched with Brosnan. They could have done an awesome Trip hop inspired theme for that relaunch and it wouldn't have sounded out of place.

Prince
Prince doing a mid 80s Bond theme, come on you know you'd want to hear it and it would be amazing.

Scott Walker
I guess they could still use him now but I would have loved to have heard him do one in the 60s.

Dusty Springfield
See next entry

Rob Halford
No chance at all, but for same reasons I listed for RJD

Sandy Denny
Maybe a bit too folky, would be nice to hear her do something totally different. I have no doubt she had the voice to pull it off.

David Bowie
I guess he could still do one but hearing him do one during his Berlin period would have been amazing.

Ann & Nancy Wilson
Not really a fan of Heart but I have a hunch they could have nailed this.

Tammi Terrell
Could have done an awesome theme in the late 60s, sad that she died so young. Was a huge talent.

Trollheart · 10-03-2014, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

---

18. The Living Daylights - A-ha (1987)
Not a big fan of this song, although it is a little more uptempo than I remember it being. It kind of floats along in an inoffensive way, but considering it was the mid 80s just think of what horrors we could have had instead of this. Phil Collins? Bonnie Tyler? Cher? Mister Mister? Huey Lewis & The News? KENNY FUCKING LOGGINS!!!!! AGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
This could have been much much worse.

---

You know how big a fan of a-ha I am, but I agree with you here. "The Living daylights" is a very very weak, bland song and it does not deserve to be a Bond theme (even though I'm not a Bond fan). Morten's voice is almost bored on this, no fire or passion and if you're going to sing a Bond song you definitely need passion --- I'm thinking Bassey on "Goldfinger" and "Diamonds are forever"...

When you compare this damp squib of a song to the other material on "Scoundrel days", and hear Morton bellowing on the title track, or even his soft, almost muttered vocal on "October", you just have one question: why? If they were going to do a Bond song --- and it surely would or should have been good exposure for a band who were pretty much at the top of their game at this stage --- why not go for it? I think John Barry had a lot of input into it, didn't he? But why then not just let someone else, some nondescript singer, handle it? Waste of Morton Harkett's considerable talents.

Anteater · 10-03-2014, 12:39 PM

Great list! I personally think it would be pretty cool to hear a modern metal band or artist try their hand a Bond theme. Not sure who would pull it off today though: maybe Tom Englund from Evergrey or something? Maybe call in Mastodon? Hell, one of the songs from Queensryche's self-titled last year had sort of a Bond-vibe about it (mostly the chord progression and orchestration).

Seeing metal make it into a Bond film probably won't happen in my lifetime though. Quite a shame...

Urban Hat€monger ? · 10-03-2014, 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I think John Barry had a lot of input into it, didn't he? But why then not just let someone else, some nondescript singer, handle it? Waste of Morton Harkett's considerable talents.

My notes tell me it was written by John Barry & Pål Waaktaar Gamst, wasn't he their guitarist?

Very few Bond themes were written by the artist back then, Wings were the only band to write their totally by themselves although Duran Duran & A-ha had input into theirs.

Since the 90s relaunch this isn't the case, Sheryl Crow wrote hers, Madonna wrote hers, Jack White wrote his, none of them have the composer of the film score on the song credits
Tina Turner's Goldeneye theme was actually written by U2, I think her and Garbage are the only artists not to write their own themes since then.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 10-03-2014, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anteater

Great list! I personally think it would be pretty cool to hear a modern metal band or artist try their hand a Bond theme. Not sure who would pull it off today though: maybe Tom Englund from Evergrey or something? Maybe call in Mastodon? Hell, one of the songs from Queensryche's self-titled last year had sort of a Bond-vibe about it (mostly the chord progression and orchestration).

Seeing metal make it into a Bond film probably won't happen in my lifetime though. Quite a shame...

I could see how that would fit with the credits actually, the only problem is I can't stand that kind of big sounding over produced over polished rock music so I would probably hate it, which is pretty much the reason why I rated the Chris Cornell song so low, because that's exactly what that song is.

Wouldn't have a problem with a metal singer doing a more traditional Bond theme though.

Unknown Soldier · 10-03-2014, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

[CENTER]Urban's Bond Themes Chart Rundown No.20 - 16

18. The Living Daylights - A-ha (1987)
Not a big fan of this song, although it is a little more uptempo than I remember it being. It kind of floats along in an inoffensive way, but considering it was the mid 80s just think of what horrors we could have had instead of this. Phil Collins? Bonnie Tyler? Cher? Mister Mister? Huey Lewis & The News? KENNY FUCKING LOGGINS!!!!! AGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
This could have been much much worse.

You forgot to mention Spandau Ballet and Duran Duran (hell they did have Duran Duran I almost forgot)

Kenny Loggins is pretty good, as long as its a Top Gun type soundtrack.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

You know how big a fan of a-ha I am, but I agree with you here. "The Living daylights" is a very very weak, bland song and it does not deserve to be a Bond theme (even though I'm not a Bond fan). Morten's voice is almost bored on this, no fire or passion and if you're going to sing a Bond song you definitely need passion --- I'm thinking Bassey on "Goldfinger" and "Diamonds are forever"...

When you compare this damp squib of a song to the other material on "Scoundrel days", and hear Morton bellowing on the title track, or even his soft, almost muttered vocal on "October", you just have one question: why? If they were going to do a Bond song --- and it surely would or should have been good exposure for a band who were pretty much at the top of their game at this stage --- why not go for it? I think John Barry had a lot of input into it, didn't he? But why then not just let someone else, some nondescript singer, handle it? Waste of Morton Harkett's considerable talents.

I really like the A-ha song and I always liked Morten Harkett's voice on the low key sounding efforts as much as the livelier ones.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anteater

Great list! I personally think it would be pretty cool to hear a modern metal band or artist try their hand a Bond theme. Not sure who would pull it off today though: maybe Tom Englund from Evergrey or something? Maybe call in Mastodon? Hell, one of the songs from Queensryche's self-titled last year had sort of a Bond-vibe about it (mostly the chord progression and orchestration).

I know it's not metal but they did have Chris Cornell, probably about as near as you'll get.

**Janszoon** · 10-04-2014, 09:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ?

22. You Know My Name (From Casino Royale) - Chris Cornell (2006)
I never thought I would see anyone from a grunge band doing a Bond theme but here's Chris Cornell doing his. I gotta say I was hugely disappointed hearing this. It's a little more rock n roll than your average Bond theme but I was just expecting something BIGGER, it's like Cornell doesn't have to make any effort at all to sing this. At least test the guys range a little.
But the one thing that makes this song as low as this is in this rundown is that I can't listen to this song without thinking it sounds like the kind of song Bryan Adams should be singing. And if there's one thing that should sound warning bells ringing it's something that makes you think of Bryan Adams songs.

Oh man, that song is terrible. I remember it was watching that movie that finally made me realize how much I can't stand the way Chris Cornell sings.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 10-30-2014, 02:10 PM

And I bet you though I'd forgotten about this...

Urban's Bond Themes Chart Rundown No.15 - 11

15. For Your Eyes Only - Sheena Easton (1981)
I thought I was going to rank this song a lot higher because it's probably the most iconic Bond songs of the 80s. But then I listened to it again and couldn't get over how nasal Sheena Eastons vocals are. They should have got Kate Bush to sing this instead. I guess the little purple midget saw enough in her to further her career, who knows if it was because of this.
Good song, and I guess I'm being a little harsh on it because it's such an iconic theme but I can't help think could have been sung better.
Sheena Easton is also the only singer of a Bond theme to actually appear in the opening credits singing it too.

---

14. The Look of Love (From Casino Royale) - Dusty Springfield (1967)
Now you may remember on the very first entry I did for this thing I mentioned that I had included an extra song into this to round it up to 25 songs, this is that song. This song was used during the movie but I think it would have worked so much better as the title theme. It's a crime that Dusty Springfield was never asked to do a proper Bond theme based on this effort because it's a glorious song written by Burt Bacharach & Hal David and was even nominated for an Oscar in the 1968 academy awards. Sadly it lost out to 'Talk To The Animals' from the movie Doctor Dolittle.
Life just isn't fair sometimes.

---

13. Licence To Kill - Gladys Knight (1989)
Not much to say about this one other than this is a kind of hidden gem of a theme from one of the more forgettable Bond movies. it's very reminicent of 'Goldfinger', if anything a little too reminicent at times. You can obviously see what the movies producers were going for here. It has that kind of big 80s ballad feel to it but Gladys Knights vocals are the highlight of this and she makes the songs worth much higher than it has any right to be.

---

12. GoldenEye - Tina Turner (1995)
It's often said I'm a miserable bastard that hates everything and everybody, that may be true but never say that I hold a grudge.
This song is performed by Tina Turner, a woman who in this very journal I once said of her that 'If all the master tapes of her 80s solo career were on fire I wouldn't piss on them'.
This song was also written by Bono & The Edge of U2, Bono, a man I have called a c*nt more than I would an abusive ex-girlfriend.
But here's the odd thing.....
This song is fucking great, it's almost as if they found the perfect singer to sing the perfect song for the relaunch of the Bond franchise in the mid 1990s. Seriously I can't fault this song at all. It has everything a classic Bond theme should have and Tina Turner redeems herself for the one and a half decades of lame material she'd been pumping out previously.
Does it redeem Bono?
Fuck no, that c*nt is a long way gone past that point, I will give him credit however and say now he's written 4 good songs instead of 3.

---

11. From Russia With Love - Matt Monro (1963)
I love Matt Monroe on film soundtracks, in fact he's responsible for recording one of my favourite movie opening soundtracks when he sung 'In Days Like These' at the beginning of 'The Italian Job'. Although 'From Russia With Love' is not quite as good as that song it still manages to eminate the same kind of style & sophistication with Monroe's delivery being so uber cool and delivery you could almost say that this song is the perfect representation of Connery's Bond in aural form.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 10-30-2014, 06:57 PM

So cast your mind back a year or so ago and remember the time when the admin of the forum removed a whole load of pictures from the site because of complaints from google.
Well having not really looked through this journal properly since then I was totally unaware of what was removed from here. Some were expected (Like Genesis P Orridge's breast implants and some Finnish punk band's goatse style cover) and some were just bizarre (My stills from Judas Priest's Hot Rockin' video) I guess the sight of Ian Hill working out and Glenn Tipton wearing a bathrobe were too hot for Google to handle but the oddest removal was yet to come.

First of all I was shocked to discover that this cover was deemed perfectly acceptable....

And yet this was was deemed offensive and removed....

So if you want to piss off Google just post loads of pictures of motorbike riders headbanging in silly helmets.

Which brings me to my next point, if anyone wants to post a picture of themselves in a helmet (or any silly headgear) headbanging and playing air guitar in my journal feel free to do so, you can even do it in a field next to a motorcycle if you like but there's no need.
Any pictures gratefully received.

And if Vanilla or any other hot chicks want to do the other cover that's fine too.

Edit: Feel free to hold something up with 'Fuck you Google written on it' too.

Trollheart · 10-30-2014, 07:09 PM

What about Vanilla in a hot biker pose? Excuse me, I think I have to go somewhere urgently...

10-02-2014, 08:01 PM	#321 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	My Bond Wishlist Here's my Top 10 of artists I'd like to see do a Bond theme, plus some other people who's time has probably passed or who I think would have done a great job of doing one in the past. 1. Jarvis Cocker I just think that with his singing style and his tongue in cheek humour he'd be a perfect match for a Bond theme, just listen to him sing something like I Spy and imagine something similar as a Bond theme. I think it would sound awesome. 2. Kylie Minogue & Nick Cave They're due a reunion, why not on a Bond theme? 3. Beth Gibbons Ever since Portishead came along in the mid 90s I'm astonished that she's not been asked to do it yet, her voice fits into that mould so perfectly. 4. Morrissey I think his voice fits the bill, let him loose on the lyrics and it could be real interesting. I doubt he'd ever do it but maybe his buddy Nancy Sinatra could convince him otherwise. I can dream. 5. Janelle Monáe If I was a betting man she would be the woman I put money on to sing on the next movie. I think she has to be a frontrunner and if it was announced she was doing it I wouldn't be surprised in the least. 6. Stuart Staples Lead singer of Tindersticks, he could be like a 60s crooner like Matt Monroe but with a little bit of modern day grit. Huge fan of this guy but I doubt he'll ever be a big enough name. 7. Bjork & Brian Eno Simply because you wouldn't have a clue what it would sound like until you heard it, ask her and you could get anything back. I think she has the voice to pull it off. Throw in Brian Eno into the mix as well and you could have audio dynamite. 8. Lætitia Sadier Maybe it's the Stereolab fanboy in me talking but fuck me, that French accent is sexy as hell. Love to hear what she sounds like singing with a full orchestra. 9. Annie Clark I love her voice simply because there's something kind of strange about it that I can't quite put my finger on it that I think would be a perfect fit with the kind of psychedelic strange looking opening titles you get in Bond movies. 10. Lady Gaga If Madonna gets a shot to fuck it up why shouldn't she get a chance? It would either be a total turd of a song or she'd pull it off spectacularly. Actually she wouldn't look out of place actually appearing in the opening titles singing it either. Honourable Mentions Ronnie James Dio I'm totally serious here, imagine Ronnie singing a big 80s power ballad backed by a full John Barry conducted orchestra, it would be beyond awesome. Why get some lame pop band to do that when you can get someone with an unmistakable voice. And if Chris Cornell can be asked to do one........... Shara Nelson & Massive Attack Trip Hop kinda broke into the mainstream around the same time that the franchise was being relaunched with Brosnan. They could have done an awesome Trip hop inspired theme for that relaunch and it wouldn't have sounded out of place. Prince Prince doing a mid 80s Bond theme, come on you know you'd want to hear it and it would be amazing. Scott Walker I guess they could still use him now but I would have loved to have heard him do one in the 60s. Dusty Springfield See next entry Rob Halford No chance at all, but for same reasons I listed for RJD Sandy Denny Maybe a bit too folky, would be nice to hear her do something totally different. I have no doubt she had the voice to pull it off. David Bowie I guess he could still do one but hearing him do one during his Berlin period would have been amazing. Ann & Nancy Wilson Not really a fan of Heart but I have a hunch they could have nailed this. Tammi Terrell Could have done an awesome theme in the late 60s, sad that she died so young. Was a huge talent. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

10-30-2014, 02:10 PM	#328 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	And I bet you though I'd forgotten about this... Urban's Bond Themes Chart Rundown No.15 - 11 15. For Your Eyes Only - Sheena Easton (1981) I thought I was going to rank this song a lot higher because it's probably the most iconic Bond songs of the 80s. But then I listened to it again and couldn't get over how nasal Sheena Eastons vocals are. They should have got Kate Bush to sing this instead. I guess the little purple midget saw enough in her to further her career, who knows if it was because of this. Good song, and I guess I'm being a little harsh on it because it's such an iconic theme but I can't help think could have been sung better. Sheena Easton is also the only singer of a Bond theme to actually appear in the opening credits singing it too. --- 14. The Look of Love (From Casino Royale) - Dusty Springfield (1967) Now you may remember on the very first entry I did for this thing I mentioned that I had included an extra song into this to round it up to 25 songs, this is that song. This song was used during the movie but I think it would have worked so much better as the title theme. It's a crime that Dusty Springfield was never asked to do a proper Bond theme based on this effort because it's a glorious song written by Burt Bacharach & Hal David and was even nominated for an Oscar in the 1968 academy awards. Sadly it lost out to 'Talk To The Animals' from the movie Doctor Dolittle. Life just isn't fair sometimes. --- 13. Licence To Kill - Gladys Knight (1989) Not much to say about this one other than this is a kind of hidden gem of a theme from one of the more forgettable Bond movies. it's very reminicent of 'Goldfinger', if anything a little too reminicent at times. You can obviously see what the movies producers were going for here. It has that kind of big 80s ballad feel to it but Gladys Knights vocals are the highlight of this and she makes the songs worth much higher than it has any right to be. --- 12. GoldenEye - Tina Turner (1995) It's often said I'm a miserable bastard that hates everything and everybody, that may be true but never say that I hold a grudge. This song is performed by Tina Turner, a woman who in this very journal I once said of her that 'If all the master tapes of her 80s solo career were on fire I wouldn't piss on them'. This song was also written by Bono & The Edge of U2, Bono, a man I have called a cnt more than I would an abusive ex-girlfriend. But here's the odd thing..... This song is fucking great, it's almost as if they found the perfect singer to sing the perfect song for the relaunch of the Bond franchise in the mid 1990s. Seriously I can't fault this song at all. It has everything a classic Bond theme should have and Tina Turner redeems herself for the one and a half decades of lame material she'd been pumping out previously. Does it redeem Bono? Fuck no, that cnt is a long way gone past that point, I will give him credit however and say now he's written 4 good songs instead of 3. --- 11. From Russia With Love - Matt Monro (1963) I love Matt Monroe on film soundtracks, in fact he's responsible for recording one of my favourite movie opening soundtracks when he sung 'In Days Like These' at the beginning of 'The Italian Job'. Although 'From Russia With Love' is not quite as good as that song it still manages to eminate the same kind of style & sophistication with Monroe's delivery being so uber cool and delivery you could almost say that this song is the perfect representation of Connery's Bond in aural form. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

10-30-2014, 06:57 PM	#329 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	So cast your mind back a year or so ago and remember the time when the admin of the forum removed a whole load of pictures from the site because of complaints from google. Well having not really looked through this journal properly since then I was totally unaware of what was removed from here. Some were expected (Like Genesis P Orridge's breast implants and some Finnish punk band's goatse style cover) and some were just bizarre (My stills from Judas Priest's Hot Rockin' video) I guess the sight of Ian Hill working out and Glenn Tipton wearing a bathrobe were too hot for Google to handle but the oddest removal was yet to come. First of all I was shocked to discover that this cover was deemed perfectly acceptable.... And yet this was was deemed offensive and removed.... So if you want to piss off Google just post loads of pictures of motorbike riders headbanging in silly helmets. Which brings me to my next point, if anyone wants to post a picture of themselves in a helmet (or any silly headgear) headbanging and playing air guitar in my journal feel free to do so, you can even do it in a field next to a motorcycle if you like but there's no need. Any pictures gratefully received. And if Vanilla or any other hot chicks want to do the other cover that's fine too. Edit: Feel free to hold something up with 'Fuck you Google written on it' too. __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave. Last edited by Urban Hat€monger ?; 10-30-2014 at 07:09 PM.

10-30-2014, 07:09 PM	#330 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	What about Vanilla in a hot biker pose? Excuse me, I think I have to go somewhere urgently... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018