Urban's Journal Of Half Assed Ideas

The Batlord · 12-03-2012, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr dave

Should it really come as any surprise to learn that I really like the Great Escape

Wait, so is it good or not? I've been eyeing it at the local CD store, and now I don't know. It's the only thing they have besides Think Tank, and now I don't know.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 12-03-2012, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Wait, so is it good or not? I've been eyeing it at the local CD store, and now I don't know. It's the only thing they have besides Think Tank, and now I don't know.

If a more cartoony version of Parklife is what floats your boat then go for it.
I mean I wouldn't call it the drizzling shits, Ive played it a hell of a lot more than Think Tank and some of the songs on it work pretty well live.

I just don't like it much as an album, it's a bit too long and a bit too cartoony.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 12-09-2012, 02:13 PM

Question Of The Day

Worst name for a band ever?

Urban Hat€monger ? · 12-10-2012, 07:40 AM

Rising Power – Power for the People

Apparently this is a power metal album from 1984. I did intend to listen to the album and share my thoughts on this forgotten gem in a detailed & comprehensive review.......

Actually no I didn't I just wanted to post the cover.
Sorry.

Rating:
3 upturned fists .... Grrrrrrrrrrr

Urban Hat€monger ? · 12-14-2012, 05:36 AM

Posting In The Style Of Other Posters

Each month I pretend to be someone else on the forum.

Quote:

Originally Posted by youarelucky

Cheap Kitchens Manchester . Cheap Kitchens sale on solidwoodkitchen.co.uk . £495 for full kitchen with appliance. 01616-664780.

Hello youarelucky welcome to musicbanter. I'm sorry that you had your last 23 accounts banned and I'm sorry that profanity was used when you last tried to tell us about your wonderful kitchens. It would be nicer if you can share your knowledge of kitchens in a less hostile environment here and I welcome your contributions to the discussion on the forum should any kitchen related conversation where your much needed expert opinion would be much welcomed.

I had a look at some of your kitchens. Before I went to your website I researched what a kitchen is and it said this.

Quote:

A kitchen is a room or part of a room used for cooking and food preparation.

In the West, a modern residential kitchen is typically equipped with a stove, a sink with hot and cold running water, a refrigerator and kitchen cabinets arranged according to a modular design. Many households have a microwave oven, a dishwasher and other electric appliances. The main function of a kitchen is cooking or preparing food but it may also be used for dining, food storage, entertaining, dishwashing and laundry.

Kitchen - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Quote:

What is a kitchen?
Answer: Its a place where one cooks delectables for the plate.

What is a kitchen

Also did you know that the surname Kitchen means

Quote:

'an occupational name for someone who worked in or was in charge of the kitchen'

Family Facts for: Kitchen

I often wondered if the actor Michael Kitchen had any ancestors in his family that worked in kitchens. I think a few culinary delights have come out of his family over the years

I particularly enjoyed your White High Gloss Shaker Style Kitchen

This looks very vegan friendly due to the peppers on display in it, or Bell Peppers or Sweet Peppers or Capsicums as they are known as throughout the world. I'm disappointed that you have what looks like a joint of roasted meat in the background. Have you ever considered using the peppers for a delicious healthier meal instead?

Quote:

Capsicum is a genus of flowering plants in the nightshade family Solanaceae. Its species are native to the Americas where they have been cultivated for thousands of years. In modern times, it is cultivated worldwide, and has become a key element in many regional cuisines. In addition to use as spices and food vegetables, capsicum has also found use in medicines.

Capsicum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I also found a lovely vegan recipe for stuffed peppers the other day, maybe you could try this instead of meat next time.

Recipes for wellness: Peppers, stuffed with vegan flavor - Washington Post

Gave me loads of wind but they were very tasty

Quote:

Flatulence and wind are symptoms related to gas in the gastrointestinal (GI) system. 'Flatulence' usually refers to gas passed per rectum. 'Wind' as a symptom may mean either belching (gas passed from the stomach outwards via the mouth), or gas passed per rectum (or even just feeling bloated). 'Eructation' is another term for belching.

Flatulence and belching are common symptoms in the general population

Flatulence and Wind | Doctor | Patient.co.uk

I did find a video on youtube to show this but it's very distasteful and I don't advise long exposure in the face to methane and I hope that these people perpetrating these jokes thing seriously about the long term damage they can do to someone pulling pranks like this.

Quote:

Methane is not toxic below the lower explosive limit of 5% (50000 ppm). However, when methane is present at high concentrations, it acts as an asphyxiant. Asphyxiants displace oxygen in the air and can cause symptoms of oxygen deprivation (asphyxiation). The available oxygen should be a minimum of 18% or harmful effects will result. Methane displaces oxygen to 18% in air when present at 14% (140000 ppm). It is not expected to cause unconsciousness (narcosis) due to central nervous system depression until it reaches much higher concentrations (30% or 300000 ppm) - well above the lower explosive limit and asphyxiating concentrations.

Effects of oxygen deficiency are:

12-16% - breathing and pulse rate are increased, with slight muscular incoordination;

10-14% - emotional upsets, abnormal fatigue from exertion, disturbed respiration;

6-10% - nausea and vomiting, inability to move freely, collapse, possible lack of consciousness;

below 6% - convulsive movements, gasping, possible respiratory collapse and death.

Since exercise increases the body's need for oxygen, symptoms will occur more quickly during exertion in an oxygen-deficient environment. Survivors of oxygen deprivation may show damage to some or all organs including the central nervous system and the brain. These effects may or may not be reversible with time, depending on the degree and duration of the low oxygen and the amount of tissue injury.

Some closely related aliphatic hydrocarbons (propane, butane and isobutane) may be weak cardiac sensitizers in humans following inhalation exposures to high concentrations (greater than 5% for isobutane and greater than 10% for propane). Cardiac sensitizers may cause the sudden onset of an irregular heartbeat (arrhythmia) and, in some cases, sudden death. Sudden deaths have been reported in cases of substance abuse involving butane and propane. Under stressful conditions and with exposure to high concentrations, the effects of cardiac sensitization may be important for some hydrocarbon gases. The asphyxiant effects of methane may enhance cardiac sensitization.

What are the main health hazards associated with breathing in methane?

I also found another video of a band called the Freak Kitchens. It's a very catchy tune but I didn't enjoy humiliation aspect of it as it has been proven in many studies that humiliation can emotionally stump a childs mind and cause lots of long term damage in the future

Quote:

Parents and teachers who try to make their kids behave by subjecting them to humiliating punishments are taking the wrong approach to discipline, experts say.

Just this month, a Florida teacher was suspended for making tardy students wear a wide-brimmed dog collar dubbed the "cone of shame." And parents in Minnesota who were disappointed with their daughter's grades were arrested after they shaved the 12-year old girl's head and forced her to wear a diaper and run around outside.

While these cases are certainly extreme, experts say that any punishment that shames or embarrasses a child is not an effective way to discipline youngsters, and may cause long-term psychological damage.

"The research is pretty clear that it's never appropriate to shame a child, or to make a child feel degraded or diminished," said Andy Grogan-Kaylor, an associate professor of social work at the University of Michigan. Such punishments can lead to "all kinds of problems in the future," Grogan-Kaylor said, including increased anxiety, depression and aggression.

Malicious punishments can also damage a parent's relationship with their child, and lead to a cycle of bad behavior, experts say.

Embarrassing Punishments Hurt Kids, Experts Say

Your exciting discussion and enthusiasm on kitchens has name me really think about getting a new one, thank you for posting and don't let your 23 bannings for spam dissuade you from posting again.

Trollheart · 12-14-2012, 06:10 AM

This would, then, be an example of that originality that you spoke of earlier? Damn good job Urban, and you certainly have a quirky sense of humour. I would be interested to see a face-off between you and the Batlord as to who is the funnier --- let battle commence!

This article really made me smile, especially your linked quotes and examples: a real demonstration of why it's called the World Wide WEB...

My only disappointment is that you didn't include a picture of Lord Kitchener, preferably pointing and saying "Your kitchen needs you!"

Great job! Four stars: I only fail to give it five because the "poster" it's directed at is probably never going to see it...

The Batlord · 12-14-2012, 10:33 AM

I must say, your journal has definitely been part of the inspiration for my journal, if not for the actual tone and content, but for it's random, who-knows-what-he'll-post-next style of posts.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 12-15-2012, 06:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

I must say, your journal has definitely been part of the inspiration for my journal, if not for the actual tone and content, but for it's random, who-knows-what-he'll-post-next style of posts.

He's mixing it up and I like it.

Urban Hat€monger ? · 12-15-2012, 10:16 AM

Pataky Attila – Vilagslagerek Pataky (2000)

You're probably wondering why the fuck I'm listening to a covers album in sung Hungarian with an album cover featuring a guy with a bad mullet and clothes that look at least 15 years out of date by the time of it's 2000 release.

And to be perfectly honest with you the reason I'm listening to this album is because it's a covers album in sung Hungarian with an album cover featuring a guy with a bad mullet and clothes that look at least 15 years out of date by the time of it's 2000 release. I mean what do you expect me to listen to? Genesis?

Now I could spend ages ripping into this guys appearance and the really lame album cover but why don't I just go ahead and judge this firmly on the 'music' contained within. I don't like to normally do song by song reviews because they're usually an exercise in tedium but this is a special case (much I suspect like Pataky himself).

Believe (Originally performed by Cher)
When I saw the opening song to this album, in my mind all I could think was one thing..

"PleasebethatsongbyCher...PleasebethatsongbyCher.. .PleasebethatsongbyCher...PleasebethatsongbyCher"

The amount of damage this turd of a song has caused me since it's release in the late 90s is immeasurable. If you asked me which song I have heard the most times in my life against my will this song would be it. Although it did cause some hilarity once when a female co-worker with no interest or knowledge of any sort of music who was out with me one night went up to an underground hip hop DJ and asked him if he would play the song, and then wondered why he gave her a dirty look and ignored her. But I'm getting away from the point.....

It WAS that song by Cher, and I just LOVE Pataky Attila for what he has done to this song. He manages to attack the song with all the vim & vigour of a drunk eastern European builder doing karaoke at a wedding. It's just glorious how he ruins it with every syllable that manages to escape from his mouth.

It's just pure comedy and I love him for it.

I Need You (Originally performed by Leann Rimes (possibly))
I'm guessing it's a cover of her song because the only other 2 songs I could find with this title in my 30 second long search were The Beatles & N-Dubz. Maybe he could tackle N-dubz on his next album. It would be more interesting than this rubbish. I got bored of the song about 10 seconds in and skipped the rest of it.

Help Yourself (Originally performed by Tom Jones)
This is much more fun although it would have been much more fun had he thrown in a few more Tom Jonesisms into his perfomance although he does do a rather passable 'Woah Yeah' at one point during the song. The only thing that really ruins the songs is a lack of a proper orchestra and the song being performed on some really cheap midi synthesizer.
But then would you fork out money to pay a full orchestra on shit like this?

All Of You (Originally performed by I have no fucking clue)
At first I though our friend Pataky had a sex change but it turns out it was really a woman to help him do a duet of some mid 90s sounding cheesefest that could have walked straight off some Michael Bolton or Celine Dion album.
This got skipped too.

Still Got The Blues (Originally performed by Gary Moore)
All I could think about while I was listening to this song (which is sung in English by the way) is how come he can sing one song and only have a slight foreign accent (Steell got ze bluz) and yet the guy in the Scorpions can sing every song in English for over 40 years and sound like he's been doing it even less than this guy.
Maybe Germans have a stronger national identity or something.

The Show Must Go On (Originally performed by Queen)
I take back what I said in the last song. He sounds much more like the guy in the Scorpions in this which is a shame because hearing him pretend to be Freddie Mercury would have been amazing, this is in English too by the way.
By now I'm starting to get a little bored, that's 3 ballads in a row now. I liked this album better when it was mixing things up a bit.

The House Of The Rising Sun (Originally performed by The Animals)
Now I'm really bored, he doesn't even try here. There's some really shouty bits in the chorus he could have really attacked but he doesn't bother preferring to sound as bland as your average X Factor contestant.

Just a Gigolo (Originally performed by David Lee Roth (And probably someone before him I don't care enough about to find out about))
Now he seems to be trying a bit more again although he does come across like some singing waiter you see on some cheap package tour to Magaluf.
I feel like I should be eating Paella while I listen to this. The 'Bozdee bozdee bop didy bop' part of the song and interpreted by Pataky almost had me spit drink.

Mambo No5 (Originally performed by Lou Bega)
The fact he sings this in Hungarian and still uses the English girls names is both funny and a disappointment.
I'd rather have him sing it in English and use Eastern European names instead.
A little bit of Olga in my life
A little bit of Petrova by my side
A little bit of Branislava is all I need
And so on and on and on........

Livin' la Vida Loca (Originally performed by Ricky Martin)
I've never been to a Gay nightclub in Budapest before but now I've heard this song I kind of feel like I have and I need a shower.

All in all this album is total horseshit but it kept me entertained for a good hour or so. Which is more than I can say for a lot of albums.

Rating: 3 Mullets

The Batlord · 12-15-2012, 10:37 AM

That was so funny that I almost clicked on the video. Almost. Maybe tomorrow.

12-09-2012, 02:13 PM	#183 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Question Of The Day Worst name for a band ever? __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

12-10-2012, 07:40 AM	#184 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Rising Power – Power for the People Apparently this is a power metal album from 1984. I did intend to listen to the album and share my thoughts on this forgotten gem in a detailed & comprehensive review....... Actually no I didn't I just wanted to post the cover. Sorry. Rating: 3 upturned fists .... Grrrrrrrrrrr __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.

12-14-2012, 06:10 AM	#186 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,994	This would, then, be an example of that originality that you spoke of earlier? Damn good job Urban, and you certainly have a quirky sense of humour. I would be interested to see a face-off between you and the Batlord as to who is the funnier --- let battle commence! This article really made me smile, especially your linked quotes and examples: a real demonstration of why it's called the World Wide WEB... My only disappointment is that you didn't include a picture of Lord Kitchener, preferably pointing and saying "Your kitchen needs you!" Great job! Four stars: I only fail to give it five because the "poster" it's directed at is probably never going to see it... __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

12-15-2012, 10:16 AM	#189 (permalink)
Urban Hat€monger ? The Sexual Intellectual Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Somewhere cooler than you Posts: 18,605	Pataky Attila – Vilagslagerek Pataky (2000) You're probably wondering why the fuck I'm listening to a covers album in sung Hungarian with an album cover featuring a guy with a bad mullet and clothes that look at least 15 years out of date by the time of it's 2000 release. And to be perfectly honest with you the reason I'm listening to this album is because it's a covers album in sung Hungarian with an album cover featuring a guy with a bad mullet and clothes that look at least 15 years out of date by the time of it's 2000 release. I mean what do you expect me to listen to? Genesis? Now I could spend ages ripping into this guys appearance and the really lame album cover but why don't I just go ahead and judge this firmly on the 'music' contained within. I don't like to normally do song by song reviews because they're usually an exercise in tedium but this is a special case (much I suspect like Pataky himself). Believe (Originally performed by Cher) When I saw the opening song to this album, in my mind all I could think was one thing.. "PleasebethatsongbyCher...PleasebethatsongbyCher.. .PleasebethatsongbyCher...PleasebethatsongbyCher" The amount of damage this turd of a song has caused me since it's release in the late 90s is immeasurable. If you asked me which song I have heard the most times in my life against my will this song would be it. Although it did cause some hilarity once when a female co-worker with no interest or knowledge of any sort of music who was out with me one night went up to an underground hip hop DJ and asked him if he would play the song, and then wondered why he gave her a dirty look and ignored her. But I'm getting away from the point..... It WAS that song by Cher, and I just LOVE Pataky Attila for what he has done to this song. He manages to attack the song with all the vim & vigour of a drunk eastern European builder doing karaoke at a wedding. It's just glorious how he ruins it with every syllable that manages to escape from his mouth. It's just pure comedy and I love him for it. I Need You (Originally performed by Leann Rimes (possibly)) I'm guessing it's a cover of her song because the only other 2 songs I could find with this title in my 30 second long search were The Beatles & N-Dubz. Maybe he could tackle N-dubz on his next album. It would be more interesting than this rubbish. I got bored of the song about 10 seconds in and skipped the rest of it. Help Yourself (Originally performed by Tom Jones) This is much more fun although it would have been much more fun had he thrown in a few more Tom Jonesisms into his perfomance although he does do a rather passable 'Woah Yeah' at one point during the song. The only thing that really ruins the songs is a lack of a proper orchestra and the song being performed on some really cheap midi synthesizer. But then would you fork out money to pay a full orchestra on shit like this? All Of You (Originally performed by I have no fucking clue) At first I though our friend Pataky had a sex change but it turns out it was really a woman to help him do a duet of some mid 90s sounding cheesefest that could have walked straight off some Michael Bolton or Celine Dion album. This got skipped too. Still Got The Blues (Originally performed by Gary Moore) All I could think about while I was listening to this song (which is sung in English by the way) is how come he can sing one song and only have a slight foreign accent (Steell got ze bluz) and yet the guy in the Scorpions can sing every song in English for over 40 years and sound like he's been doing it even less than this guy. Maybe Germans have a stronger national identity or something. The Show Must Go On (Originally performed by Queen) I take back what I said in the last song. He sounds much more like the guy in the Scorpions in this which is a shame because hearing him pretend to be Freddie Mercury would have been amazing, this is in English too by the way. By now I'm starting to get a little bored, that's 3 ballads in a row now. I liked this album better when it was mixing things up a bit. The House Of The Rising Sun (Originally performed by The Animals) Now I'm really bored, he doesn't even try here. There's some really shouty bits in the chorus he could have really attacked but he doesn't bother preferring to sound as bland as your average X Factor contestant. Just a Gigolo (Originally performed by David Lee Roth (And probably someone before him I don't care enough about to find out about)) Now he seems to be trying a bit more again although he does come across like some singing waiter you see on some cheap package tour to Magaluf. I feel like I should be eating Paella while I listen to this. The 'Bozdee bozdee bop didy bop' part of the song and interpreted by Pataky almost had me spit drink. Mambo No5 (Originally performed by Lou Bega) The fact he sings this in Hungarian and still uses the English girls names is both funny and a disappointment. I'd rather have him sing it in English and use Eastern European names instead. A little bit of Olga in my life A little bit of Petrova by my side A little bit of Branislava is all I need And so on and on and on........ Livin' la Vida Loca (Originally performed by Ricky Martin) I've never been to a Gay nightclub in Budapest before but now I've heard this song I kind of feel like I have and I need a shower. All in all this album is total horseshit but it kept me entertained for a good hour or so. Which is more than I can say for a lot of albums. Rating: 3 Mullets __________________ Urb's RYM Stuff Most people sell their soul to the devil, but the devil sells his soul to Nick Cave.