Bulldog

Eminem grates like nails on a chalkboard for me. I loved the guy when I was a kid, and I think there's something of a fire in the belly of his first two albums, but to say I've turned on the philandering cunt over the years would be an understatement.

That Rihanna tune is just knockoff garbage. It's unabashed Gaga-lite, as if the world needed any of that.

Listening to Adele is like listening to paint dry...I'd sooner be caught listening to fucking Enya.

And as for the Black Eyed Peas, they seem to exist for the sole purpose of finding me new reasons to hate them every week.

Merkaba

Urban the ADHD review was brilliant. Love the music, it's like a whisky and a pack a day version of David Yow on vocals.

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Urban Hat€monger ?

Ridiculous Moments In Music History

1. Introducing your teacher with the matching moustachioed/afro permed combo Mr Richie.



2. Introducing the blind chick, here seen acting giving the brush off to another equally moustachioed fellow student.



3. Lionel thinks 'Mmmm I'm gonna get me some of that'



4. Lionel decides that stalking her in a ridiculous jumper is the best policy.



5. Blind chick takes solace in a giant lump of clay.



6. Lionel decides to stalk her some more.



7. Blind chick is disturbed by a phone call in bed.
Who could it be?????????.......

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Urban Hat€monger ?

8. It's Lionel!!!!!
And he's decided that singing to her down the phone will get into her panties.



9. But then decides to hang up after one line



10. Blind chick decides ' Most romantic thing EVAAAAAA' And then goes to sleep dreaming about Lionel's matching moustache & afro.



11. The next day Lionel is back, hard at work probably writing Dancing On The Ceiling or something.



12. When he's informed of a commotion in the art room.....



13. The blind chick reveals her masterpiece, A bust of a neanderthal Tom Selleck



14. Lionel informs blind chick that he has something else she can touch if she so wishes, and they both live happily ever after.

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Dr_Rez

I thoroughly enjoyed that. I hope there are more exciting true stories to come.
My only critique is the mustache on the bust of big Tom S is not nearly bushy enough.

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Mr Sensitive

No matter how many times I watch that video that clay bust always cracks me up.

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Paedantic Basterd

Please, in the future, Dancing in the Street.

Badlittlekitten

That look at the UK charts was the first time I've seen the top ten in years and how depressing it is. Thanks for adding humour to an otherwise morbid read.

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'Said do you feel it? Do you feel it when you TOUCH ME?. THERE'S A FIRE! THERE'S A FIRE!' The Stooges. Dirt.

https://soundcloud.com/bad-little-kittens
My Top 100 LPs
My Top 52 Indie Tracks Of The 21st Century (incomplete)

Urban Hat€monger ?

For a long time I have wanted to do something with Kiss's solo albums but never really thought much about it and as a result I been holding this off for ages.

Last Christmas my sister bought me Larry Harris's book '...And Party Every Day' which is about his time being 2nd in command at Casablanca Records in the 70s. With Kiss being Casablanca's main act and a large portion of the book being dedicated to them I found out quite a lot about the behind the scenes workings as to how the 4 solo albums came about now with that extra info at my disposal I feel motivated enough to give this a shot and to look at all four of those Kiss solo albums released all on the same day on September 18th 1978.

The allowance of solo albums had been a part of Kiss's contract with Casablanca but it wasn't until late 1977 after 6 straight albums & tours in 4 years that the label began hearing mutterings of certain members of the band wanting to do other things.

Peter Criss & Ace Frehley were the most vocal about this feeling that they were secondary to Gene & Paul. They because less involved with the band and more interested in various substances and all the other trappings that fame & fortune gives you.

Both Gene & Paul were against the idea at first, wanting to carry on releasing Kiss albums but when things started fall apart badly during the filming of Phantom Of The Park with Ace Frehley going AWOL during filming and Peter Criss getting into a serious car accident while drunk they decided that some time apart would do the band more good than harm.
The band reached a compromise that they would all release solo albums, all on the same day, all under the Kiss banner and all dedicated to the other 3 members of the band.

Casablanca Records were against the idea, they had already been bailed out of debt and just been taken over by Polygram Records. This kind of stunt was just the sort of thing that put them in debt in the first place, plus solo albums never sold well and were worth half an album on Kiss's contract. Meaning that 4 solo albums would mean that Kiss would have to deliver Casablanca 2 less albums to fulfil their contract. The label told Kiss manager Bill Aucoin they wouldn't do it, Aucoin told them that things had fallen apart in the band so badly if they didn't allow it to happen by the following year there wouldn't be a Kiss.

On the run up to the albums releases both the band & the record company got together to discuss the details. The record company wanted to press 500,000 copies of each album thus certifying them gold. Kiss wanted one million copies of each album pressed meaning they could say each album had gone platinum. As Kiss's last release had sold around the 5 million mark up to that point the record company relented and in total around 4.3 million copies of the albums were pressed.

It was a total disaster, each album barely scraped around 500,000 sales meaning that Casablanca were looking at over 2 million albums being unsold & thrown into bargain bins across the world. The company lost millions on both getting the albums out & promoting them heavily, Polygram were furious, Other record were furious as well because all their top stars would now want to know why their record companies wouldn't give them the same kind of deal that Casablanca gave Kiss.

Despite all the predictions that Gene & Paul's albums who would sell the most it was actually Ace Frehley who sold the most copies of his album (Just a few thousand more than Paul Stanley's) off the back of his minor hit single 'New York Groove'. Even more amazing when you consider that up till that point the only song Frehley had sung on with Kiss was 'Shock Me' on the Love Gun album.

Although the albums were a total failure I think you have to admire the balls to do something different. Despite what some people thing there is some great stuff on these albums. so I think I shall dig a little deeper into them.........

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Urban Hat€monger ?

Peter Criss

First of all I have to say that it's almost impossible for me to take an album seriously that has a song on it entitled That's The Kind Of Sugar Papa Likes' on it, let alone listen to the damn thing. But I shall persevere.

Now, I'm not going to start this having a full blown rant about Peter Criss, I feel that's unfair. He's a bit of a fall guy for the band. I'm not even going to give him shit for doing 'Beth' either. As a matter of fact I happen to like a couple of songs Peter Criss did for Kiss. There's Black Diamond, probably one of the highlights on the debut album. He didn't write it, Paul Stanley did. But that's not the point.
I also happen to think that Hard Luck Woman is a pretty decent Faces type ballad, which is understanding really when you realise that it was written with Rod Stewart in mind originally. Peter does his best Rod Stewart impersonation and manages to pull it off pretty well. OK he didn't write that either (Paul Stanley did) but that's not the point.

Actually this isn't really going anywhere, let's start again.

I quite like the song Peter wrote & performed on the Dynasty album, Dirty Livin' and there's another one he did on the Unmasked album too which is pretty good, but it's so long since I listened to that album I can't remember which one. But the point is I'm not here to bury Peter Criss I'm willing to give him a fair shake, so let's listen to this album.

God this is awful

The first thing that really grabs me about this album is the total lack of danger. Everything about this album is 'nice'. And I don't mean that in a good way. There's no edge to anything on this at all. All the ballads are just mawkish cheesy rubbish and all the 'rock n roll' songs sounds like they were performed by some musical theatre company. It's just this collection of bland wishy washy 70s soft rock.

Apparently a lot of these songs were written in 1971 for a band called Lips who Criss was a member of back then. Given by that point Kiss had released 6 studio albums and Gene Simmons & Paul Stanley raided their old band Wicked Lester for a load of songs on the first couple of Kiss albums you'd think that maybe they might use a couple of Criss's old songs too. Having listened to most of this crap I think it's painfully obvious why they didn't and why Lips never got signed and why these songs were sitting around for 7 years doing nothing .... BECAUSE THEY'RE FUCKING AWFUL.

Highlights of this album? Well if you're really going to put me at gunpoint to name one there's always Criss's cover of R&B singer Bobby Lewis's Tossin' & Turnin' Which did make it into Kiss's live tour when they got back together again after this.
Not that I want you to think it's any good, it's just not as terrible as the rest of the album in the same way that shitting yourself if you are wearing boxer shorts isn't as terrible as shitting yourself if you are wearing boxer shorts AND trousers.
It really is that bad.

There, a whole review of Peter Criss's solo album without once mentioning kitty litter.
That has to be worth something.

Rating:

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