The Wind in the Willows (Kenneth Graeme)

Moles? Rats? Frogs? Someone in Riverbank Animal Control has a lot of questions to answer!

Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree (AA Milne)

Some fat bastards just don't know when to stop eating.

Dracula (Bram Stoker)

A Romanian nobleman comes to England and is executed with extreme prejudice without a shred of scientific evidence or any trial.

Frankenstein (Mary Shelley)

Life finds a way. Then it kills you.

Black Beauty (Anna Sewell)

It's about a horse, not some fine biatch.

The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)

Some English gentlemen can't keep their noses out of police business.

The Canterbury Tales (Geoffrey Chaucer)

A load of boring ****s go on a boring journey.

Lolita (Vladimir Nabokov)

Thank Heaven for little girls.

Damnit

I can’t believe I let you beat me to Lolita.

They're only that young once so you should make sure to get it while the getting is good.

I knew you'd like that one.

Hemingway’s Entire Bibliography

Donald Trump Jr. wants to live like me even though he’s an illiterate coward and 80 years too late. Hopefully, he’ll die like I did, soon.

I haven't but would like to.

I think most of the politically opinionated stuff I've written on this website (what little of it there is) is in here;

http://www.musicbanter.com/current-e...am-europe.html

Thanks.
I expected something much goofier tbh.

Around the World in Eighty Days (Jules Verne)

A man goes around the world in eighty days.

The Wizard of Oz (Frank L. Baum)

Four losers go on a drug-fuelled trip.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner (Samuel Taylor Coleridge)

An old guy goes on a drug-fuelled trip to sea