I mean he really is a fascist megalomaniac at heart. Just a really dumb fascist.

Uncle Tom’s Cabin (Harriet Beecher Stowe)

A strong black slave gives his cotton pickins to older weaker slaves at great peril to himself but instead of respecting him they made his name synonymous with being a sell-out. It’s probably due to illiteracy in the African-American community.

how?

The Divine Comedy (Dante)

Two thousand pages and nothing funny about it. The joke’s on you, bitch.

War and Peace, by Leo Tolstoy
Napoleon was a poseur, Russian aristocrats were a bunch of Francophile idiots.

He is literally Hitler.

Really? You don't see how he's an authoritarian who would totally make dissenters disappear in the middle of the night if he had the power? Sometimes I forget that you're a right wing dunce.

Five Go (Whatever, they're all the same) (Enid Blyton)

Four privileged white middle-class kids and one dog go on adventures and outsmart smugglers and criminals, back in time for tea, cos this is post-war England, bitch!

Oh, terribly sorry: did I offend you, old chap? Do excuse me.

Nah, more like...

The Divine Comedy

It's worth going through hell and purgatory if there's some pussy waiting for you at the end.

The Da Vinci Code

**** this boring bull****.