The Worst Possible Movie Thing Has Happened

**Janszoon** · 01-31-2013, 10:21 AM

I think this thread is a pretty good place for this:

The Batlord · 01-31-2013, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I think this thread is a pretty good place for this:

Patton Oswald might just be my current favorite comedian. And the bit about not giving a **** about Anakin as a kid was spot on. I was gonna add that to my rant, but I figured it was a little long already. You have three movies to show Anakin's fall to the Dark Side, and after the first one his journey has come to the point where he is homesick and sad. That's. Balls. All that **** about the Chosen One and the midi-chlorians fathering him can go right down the toilet too. Lame. Skip that **** and just give us grown up Anakin from the beginning. Not to mention that it seems to conflict with A New Hope. In that movie Obi-Wan mentions that Luke's uncle thought that Anakin should stay at home and "not get involved". That seems to imply to me that they had a relationship other than just having met once. Which says to me that Anakin probably had a relatively normal, immaculate-conception-free birth with a family and an actual brother.

Key · 01-31-2013, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Gag. In the original he looked emaciated and horrifying. In the new one the prosthetics made him look like a bloated alcoholic. How does your makeup get worse with time and extra money? Lucas. That's how.

You know, I could have forgiven the new trilogy somewhat if they had given us a badass Dark Jedi Anakin at the end. And no, whiny little angry teenager Anakin doesn't count. The whole reason anyone gives a fuck about Darth Vader is because he was a badass Dark Jedi who choked people the fuck out because that's just what badass Dark Jedis do. It's in the job description. Everything that added to his character with his relationship with Luke wouldn't have meant shit if he hadn't been a badass Dark Jedi. So, to me, any trilogy about Anakin Skywalker becoming Darth Vader should end with Anakin being a badass Dark Jedi. I shouldn't have to see Anakin become Vader and then have to turn on Episode IV just see him be a true badass. That's like jerking me off but not finishing me off.

You can't expect him to look like Sidius the first time they show him. He had obviously aged throughout the series and I feel like that's what they were trying to convey. In the original movies, Sidius doesn't do a lot of action, or fighting, etc. That showed his aging. However, in Revenge of the Sith, you get him fighting Windu, and Yoda.

I can agree to an extent about the Anakin thing, I personally didn't find him as dark as he should have been, but I still found his role enjoyable.

duga · 01-31-2013, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

I think this thread is a pretty good place for this:

That was awesome.

The Batlord · 02-01-2013, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ki

You can't expect him to look like Sidius the first time they show him. He had obviously aged throughout the series and I feel like that's what they were trying to convey. In the original movies, Sidius doesn't do a lot of action, or fighting, etc. That showed his aging. However, in Revenge of the Sith, you get him fighting Windu, and Yoda.

I'm not talking about his energy level. I'm talking about how the prosthetics in Revenge of the Sith made his head look fat. It just looked horrible.

This reminds me of the whole "younger Yoda" thing from the new trilogy. These movies took place around twenty or thirty years before the old trilogy. Yoda is nine hundred years old. Why on Alderaan would he be noticeably younger at eight hundred and eighty? If he's too feeble to actually fight in the first movies, shouldn't he be about as feeble in the new ones? Of course, even if I bought into it, the fight scenes with Yoda still blew. Having Yoda bounce around like a Mexican jumping bean is just embarrassingly goofy.

**Janszoon** · 02-06-2013, 05:36 PM

It looks like Disney wants to continue with the "Jon Voight's ballsack" theme in some upcoming Star Wars spin-offs.

Quote:

Yesterday, The Walt Disney Co. unveiled plans to make a number of spin-off movies set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away — in addition to the post-Return of the Jedi trilogy that had already been announced.
Entertainment Weekly has learned details on two of the spin-off projects: A young Han Solo saga, focusing on the wisecracking smuggler’s origin story, and a bounty hunter adventure with Boba Fett at the center of a rogue’s gallery of galactic scum.

From here.

The Batlord · 02-07-2013, 10:03 AM

Oh god no. There's no way that those aren't going to be cheap cash-ins. I guess if they actually follow the book canon, I will be satisfied, but I'm not holding my breath.

LoathsomePete · 04-18-2013, 12:02 PM

BBC News - New Star Wars film yearly from 2015

I'm kind of conflicted by this, on the one hand I get pretty sick of the yearly video game releases (Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty being the biggest offenders), but on the other hand the Star Wars universe is so vast and there could be so much going on that it could be interesting. I mean in the 4 years from Iron Man to The Avengers you had The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Iron Man 2, and Captain America and each of those movies were vastly different from a thematic and tonal sense while all still in the same universe.

Disney has at least shown with their Marvel stuff that they're willing to try to do fanservice while still making a movie with guaranteed return and I can't help but think they'll do that same thing with Star War. Even if the older fans finally get fed up with yearly installments, there will always be a new generation of children who don't have the same emotional attachment to the original or even prequel trilogies that older fans have.

I dunno, I still really want to remain optimistic that this won't turn into an even worse debacle than the prequel trilogy, but even I have to admit that yearly installments seem a bit much.

duga · 04-18-2013, 01:23 PM

I'm not surprised, though. Even with fan hatred towards the prequels, they made a ton of cash. I'm sure right now Disney feels like they have a series that cannot fail. Even if the movies are horrible, people will pay to see them. So of course a guaranteed yearly hit would seem like a great plan.

djchameleon · 04-18-2013, 02:28 PM

I don't mind yearly films because you can turn it into a little tradition and have fun with it. I really miss the Saw movies coming out each year for Halloween. It was my Halloween night tradition to go see the latest one when it came out. Paranormal Activity can suck my left nut it's just not the same. I don't care about their yearly installments.

01-31-2013, 10:21 AM	#151 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	I think this thread is a pretty good place for this: __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

04-18-2013, 12:02 PM	#158 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	BBC News - New Star Wars film yearly from 2015 I'm kind of conflicted by this, on the one hand I get pretty sick of the yearly video game releases (Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty being the biggest offenders), but on the other hand the Star Wars universe is so vast and there could be so much going on that it could be interesting. I mean in the 4 years from Iron Man to The Avengers you had The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Iron Man 2, and Captain America and each of those movies were vastly different from a thematic and tonal sense while all still in the same universe. Disney has at least shown with their Marvel stuff that they're willing to try to do fanservice while still making a movie with guaranteed return and I can't help but think they'll do that same thing with Star War. Even if the older fans finally get fed up with yearly installments, there will always be a new generation of children who don't have the same emotional attachment to the original or even prequel trilogies that older fans have. I dunno, I still really want to remain optimistic that this won't turn into an even worse debacle than the prequel trilogy, but even I have to admit that yearly installments seem a bit much. __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

04-18-2013, 01:23 PM	#159 (permalink)
duga MB quadrant's JM Vincent Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 3,762	I'm not surprised, though. Even with fan hatred towards the prequels, they made a ton of cash. I'm sure right now Disney feels like they have a series that cannot fail. Even if the movies are horrible, people will pay to see them. So of course a guaranteed yearly hit would seem like a great plan. __________________ Confusion will be my epitaph...