Comus

What the hell do you mean "Make one for me?" You clearly don't understand the mechanics of sexual intercourse do you? What the hell is this? A drink? You're pathetic at reading my signs aren't you?



And now you're talking about money? What's wrong with you, you've hit me up with a strong drink and you don't even have the decency to come onto me? Am I ugly? Is it the ridiculous spiky hair? Because I can get rid of that!



What the FUCK do you think? I've been tricked into thinking action was imminent... TWICE! And you have the audacity to ask me if I'm feeling alright? To answer your question, no, no I am not. I risk my ass blowing up reactors and whatnot, I come back to the supposed hideout and all I get is a drink and a are you all right? I gave you flowers for fucks sake, what more do you want? You're not some high class broad, you live in the slums!

I'm going down to the meeting to get some praise to make myself feel better.

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Comus

So yeah, it turns out the meeting was basically nothing, so before I bugger off.



Why I still haven't gotten laid? Well it's plain and simple Flower Girl and ethan are just complete teases and it makes me sad in the pants.

So basically I decide fuck this noise and head for the door.



Hello? Are you not reading the commentary? I just told you I was.

At this point enter flashback, for some reason I'm on the watertower in this clear mind fabrication. I'm onto you, game.



You bloody should be, have you any idea how cold it is up... Oh hello jailbait ethan.



I'd tap that.

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dac

Best thread anywhere ever.

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sleepy jack

I love you so much yngve.

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Comus

I love you too <3

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Comus

Okay so I've snapped out of jailbait Ethan mode, now she's bugging me about staying.



Yeah, but what about what you promised me when you accepted that flower! It's just polite to stick to certain promises. I could sort of understand if you didn't know me very well but in this case... We're childhood friends! Where the hell is the wild sex.

Anyways, I go to bed and have a good night. I think the term is wet dream, but can you blame me?



Anyways, we have a new plan! Today we're going to blow up reactor 5. So of course after a trip to the shop we head towards the train station. Once on the train the security check seems to go awry. Much later, after running the whole length of the train in what must be one of the most pointless exercises ever. We get to the end, and are faced with the prospect of getting the fuck off a moving train.



Ethan knows the score.

Naturally, I'm too cool to be scared, on the outside anwyays.

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khfreek

Ethan is such a tease.

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Comus

So after a bit of healthy arse-grabbing to settle ethan's nerves, Tore ruins all the fun.



Anyways now faced with the prospect of Ethan jumping out of the train.



What the hell are you talking about? Watch closely? Bitch I invented watching closely. You're going to bend over and jump out of the train. Key word bend over. Watch closely, of course.

Anyways it's my turn.



Ah dude, Ethan said he'd never tell anyone about my Hemorrhoids.



What game have you been playing?

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Comus

Dear Diary, today I found out tore is a total pervert.



Yeah, Tore, I'm up here.



Up here, up here, dude stop drooling.



...this is a kids game?



Your lack of understanding for the mechanics of anal sex baffles me. Oh wait, I said that... awkward. Anyways, enough talk about penetrating tight holes.

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Comus

We force ourself through the hole and go deeper and deeper into this. Closer and closer to the reactor. Biggs and the rest of the bit characters are pretty close to climax.



With the departure of the other characters we now only have Me, Tore and Ethan left with us as we venture further into the reactor. Oh wait, we have another pearl of wisdom.



...okay I'm now convinced this shit is not for children.

So, now you can look forward to the next installment of Comus Fantasy VII: The Revisiting.

Will Comus blow the reactor? Will Biggs and the rest of the bit characters survive enough for us to form an emotional attachment? Will we ever meet that mysterious prostitute again? All these answers and more will be revealed next time!

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