WolfAtTheDoor's Miscellaneous Movie Review (country, rock, albums, doors, French)

WolfAtTheDoor · 04-07-2009, 09:59 AM

Only recently got round to watching the Indiana Jones quadrilogy. Here's what I thought.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark

Obviously this is the first in the quadrilogy, and pretty much everyone holds the opinion that it is the best of the lot. I don't really agree with this. Though the opening is probably the best opening of any Action film EVER. And the Desert chase scene is a classic (the bit where Indy is dragging along underneath the van - brilliant) the rest of the film didn't have me as gripped as I was expecting

Temple of Doom

My personal favourite. It starts off particularly slowly, but after the initial disappointment, it kicks and screams to its climax. I'm surprised that no one really classes this as the standout moment of the series, it has all the elements of a classic. The mine cart chase is seriously one of the best scenes that has been commited to film, and had me completely gripped throughout - that's saying something considering I've only just watched the film, over 20 years since it's original release. Of course, with the good there comes the bad. And the bad here is the company that Indy takes with him on his adventure. Willie. I can take Short Round, even with his 'funny funny' and his rather unsettling love for Indy (seriously, why does he love him so much?) but Willie just takes the proverbial biscuit. Her fear of everything isn't cute, and in no way shape or form does it make me warm to her naivety. She makes me want to take to the mountains in a vow of cellebacy. For fuck sake, Indy, just shove it in her mouth and tell bitch to shut the fuck up.

The Last Crusade

So the love interest didn't work in Temple of Doom. What do they do next? They only slap fucking James Bond in there. Sean Connery as Indiana Jones' Dad seems like the worlds best idea on paper, so as I was marathon-watching the series, this is the film I was most looking forward to getting to. And I was disappointed. Very disappointed. The Zoo train sequence is the most stupid fucking scene ever. It's amazing how they put such a ludicrous idea into such a popular franchise. We'll accept a young Indy with a silly boyband haircut, fine, but to explain his whole character in under TEN MINUTES? Just go fuck yourselves. In fact, I would've even gone so far as to accept the explanation for his fear of snakes, or how he got that fedora hat, but the whole 'he learnt how to use his whip because he had to tame a lion' thing? That's too far. Ilse, the sort of lost interest in this one, starts off well. That is until she goes all Nazi, and then she only really pops up to show us that even though she betrayed Indy, there might be some hope for her after all.

We don't care. You're a Nazi.

Indy meets Adolf Hitler. That's all I've got to say on that.

The rest of the film from then on purely consists of Indy bitching about James Bond not being a good enough father, never taking him out for a milkshake or a quick game of catch. It carries on along this path, Indy whining, Connery not giving a shit. The Last Crusade basically goes on its way proving the point that Bond is cooler than Indiana Jones. And I bet Bond would have dealt with Willie like a man.

Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull

In no way, shape or form is this the worst of the series. Last Crusade holds that title by a country mile. Neither is it particularly astounding. But it is worth watching purely for the shits and giggles. As everyone already knows, this one involves aliens. Regardless of whether or not that's the most stupid thing to introduce in the Indiana Jones series, it made me give more of a shit than the other rubbish he was collecting. A big golden basket, a rock - even the Holy Grail turned out to be an eggcup.

For the most part, Harrison Ford doesn't look too out of place considering he's knocking on a bit now. The one thing I would change about his overall image is those baggy brown trousers he wears - makes him look like my Grandad, were my Grandad an adventurer and not, well, dead.

Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull definitely takes the crown for the most WTF moments in a movie. Ever. It made me wonder why no one turned round to Spielberg during shooting and was like 'Steve, maybe people aren't going to believe you can survive an atomic bomb by hiding in a fridge...'

The car chase at the end, though yet again completely unrealistic, is thrilling and sits just a couple of popcorn boxes behind the mine cart chase for sheer cinematic thrills.

Overall, the series isn't as consistent as everyone seems to think it is. Raiders of The Lost Ark is overrated, Temple of Doom underrated, The Last Crusade unrated and Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull overstated.

**Janszoon** · 04-07-2009, 12:45 PM

It was definitely interesting to read the impressions of someone just watching these movies now, but I disagree with a lot of what you said about them. I'm sure a lot of our differences of opinion come from our different viewing experiences. You saw one new movie and three old movies in a row, on DVD I assume for all of them. I saw each of them when they were new and all but Temple of Doom in the theater.

Like a lot of people Raiders is my favorite. A big reason for this is something that you didn't touch upon in your review: it has the best female lead, by far, of any of the movies. Actually, I'd go even further and say it has the best supporting characters of any of the movies. Marion, Belloq, Sallah, Dietrich, Satipo, Katenga, even that big bald guy he fights by the plane are just such colorful characters to me. One of my biggest gripes about Temple of Doom—aside from Willie being so annoying, which is everyone's gripe about that movie—is that it has so few interesting supporting characters. Look at Mola Ram for example, such a boring villain. He has surprisingly little screen time, very few lines and there's really not much more to him as a character than a scary costume. Give me Belloq from Raiders as a better foil for Indy any day of the week. Hell, even Donovan from Last Crusade is better.

Hey, so did you catch Dan Akroyd's cameo in Temple of Doom by the way?

jackhammer · 04-07-2009, 01:20 PM

The last one is a steaming pile of excrement and although Willie is annoying she's got a great rack on her

WolfAtTheDoor · 04-07-2009, 01:22 PM

I didn't actually! I'll have to look for him now... what part of the movie was he in?

And the only film I saw in the cinema was the Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, but it was much better viewing it as part of the series as I had more of a feel for Indy's character. I probably don't appreciate Marion as much as the old Indiana Jones fans because I'd already seen her in Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, where obviously people were already meant to know how she was important to the series. She wasn't introduced to me in the way that she was to viewers in the 80's, so maybe that's why her character impacted on me a lot less.

And as for Mola Ram. He rips out peoples hearts.

**Janszoon** · 04-07-2009, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfAtTheDoor

I didn't actually! I'll have to look for him now... what part of the movie was he in?

He's right near the beginning. After they escape from the nightclub, they go to the airport and talk to a guy with an English accent right before they get in the plane. That guy is Dan Akroyd. I must have seen the movie twenty times before I noticed this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfAtTheDoor

And the only film I saw in the cinema was the Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, but it was much better viewing it as part of the series as I had more of a feel for Indy's character. I probably don't appreciate Marion as much as the old Indiana Jones fans because I'd already seen her in Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, where obviously people were already meant to know how she was important to the series. She wasn't introduced to me in the way that she was to viewers in the 80's, so maybe that's why her character impacted on me a lot less.

That's probably a big part of it. I thought they made her way less interesting in Crystal Skull. She's such a booze-swilling badass in the first movie. I like her a lot better that way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfAtTheDoor

And as for Mola Ram. He rips out peoples hearts.

Yeah but that's about it. Belloq is so much more of a character. And he's such an arrogant jackass I just want to smack him every time he's on screen. I love it.

WolfAtTheDoor · 04-07-2009, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

He's right near the beginning. After they escape from the nightclub, they go to the airport and talk to a guy with an English accent right before they get in the plane. That guy is Dan Akroyd. I must have seen the movie twenty times before I noticed this.

That's probably a big part of it. I thought they made her way less interesting in Crystal Skull. She's such a booze-swilling badass in the first movie. I like her a lot better that way.

Yeah but that's about it. Belloq is so much more of a character. And he's such an arrogant jackass I just want to smack him every time he's on screen. I love it.

Just another Nazi though... I think what I was expecting with the Indiana Jones series coming into it was the opening scene of Raiders, just repeated... temples, exploring, risky puzzles. Raiders wasn't really like that after the first scene was finished, much of it was spent in the daytime, outdoors, in a bustling environment. For me, Temple of Doom had the environment I was expecting and the one that I wanted from the movies. And the powerful, destructive, shamanic villain.

**Janszoon** · 04-07-2009, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfAtTheDoor

Just another Nazi though... I think what I was expecting with the Indiana Jones series coming into it was the opening scene of Raiders, just repeated... temples, exploring, risky puzzles. Raiders wasn't really like that after the first scene was finished, much of it was spent in the daytime, outdoors, in a bustling environment. For me, Temple of Doom had the environment I was expecting and the one that I wanted from the movies. And the powerful, destructive, shamanic villain.

Er... Belloq wasn't a Nazi. He was a French archeologist. In one scene he even makes a point of talking about how he's using the Nazis to help him get what he wants but he couldn't care less about them.

Also, I don't know what to tell you about your expectations there. I mean they are what they are but they don't really match up with what the Indiana Jones movies are all about. It's kind of hard to fault them for that.

WolfAtTheDoor · 04-07-2009, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

Er... Belloq wasn't a Nazi. He was a French archeologist .

The bloke with the hat and the glasses?

EDIT: I've just googled him, got completely the wrong bloke.

WolfAtTheDoor · 04-07-2009, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

Er... Belloq wasn't a Nazi. He was a French archeologist. In one scene he even makes a point of talking about how he's using the Nazis to help him get what he wants but he couldn't care less about them.

Also, I don't know what to tell you about your expectations there. I mean they are what they are but they don't really match up with what the Indiana Jones movies are all about. It's kind of hard to fault them for that.

You can't fault them for it no, but obviously having never watched any of the Indiana Jones films, I was always told I should by those who had. I'd practically heard the plotlines of the stories already, just by people explaining them to me in conversation. And most people drew a comparison with Tomb Raider to help me out... so you can see how I'd be given the impression that this bloke just, well, had adventures in temples. And I was all geared up for that and on paper it sounded brilliant, but I was just a bit disappointed when I actually saw them.

Aside from Temple of Doom, which was just on the level of brilliance that I expected.

**Janszoon** · 04-07-2009, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WolfAtTheDoor

You can't fault them for it no, but obviously having never watched any of the Indiana Jones films, I was always told I should by those who had. I'd practically heard the plotlines of the stories already, just by people explaining them to me in conversation. And most people drew a comparison with Tomb Raider to help me out... so you can see how I'd be given the impression that this bloke just, well, had adventures in temples. And I was all geared up for that and on paper it sounded brilliant, but I was just a bit disappointed when I actually saw them.

Aside from Temple of Doom, which was just on the level of brilliance that I expected.

Heh. Well I guess if you're starting with Tomb Raider as a point of reference I can see how you'd get there. Temple of Doom is definitely the most videogame-like of the series.

04-07-2009, 09:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
WolfAtTheDoor ironing your socks Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: I'm in a rocknroll band. huh. Posts: 396	WolfAtTheDoor's Miscellaneous Movie Review Only recently got round to watching the Indiana Jones quadrilogy. Here's what I thought. Raiders Of The Lost Ark Obviously this is the first in the quadrilogy, and pretty much everyone holds the opinion that it is the best of the lot. I don't really agree with this. Though the opening is probably the best opening of any Action film EVER. And the Desert chase scene is a classic (the bit where Indy is dragging along underneath the van - brilliant) the rest of the film didn't have me as gripped as I was expecting Temple of Doom My personal favourite. It starts off particularly slowly, but after the initial disappointment, it kicks and screams to its climax. I'm surprised that no one really classes this as the standout moment of the series, it has all the elements of a classic. The mine cart chase is seriously one of the best scenes that has been commited to film, and had me completely gripped throughout - that's saying something considering I've only just watched the film, over 20 years since it's original release. Of course, with the good there comes the bad. And the bad here is the company that Indy takes with him on his adventure. Willie. I can take Short Round, even with his 'funny funny' and his rather unsettling love for Indy (seriously, why does he love him so much?) but Willie just takes the proverbial biscuit. Her fear of everything isn't cute, and in no way shape or form does it make me warm to her naivety. She makes me want to take to the mountains in a vow of cellebacy. For fuck sake, Indy, just shove it in her mouth and tell bitch to shut the fuck up. The Last Crusade So the love interest didn't work in Temple of Doom. What do they do next? They only slap fucking James Bond in there. Sean Connery as Indiana Jones' Dad seems like the worlds best idea on paper, so as I was marathon-watching the series, this is the film I was most looking forward to getting to. And I was disappointed. Very disappointed. The Zoo train sequence is the most stupid fucking scene ever. It's amazing how they put such a ludicrous idea into such a popular franchise. We'll accept a young Indy with a silly boyband haircut, fine, but to explain his whole character in under TEN MINUTES? Just go fuck yourselves. In fact, I would've even gone so far as to accept the explanation for his fear of snakes, or how he got that fedora hat, but the whole 'he learnt how to use his whip because he had to tame a lion' thing? That's too far. Ilse, the sort of lost interest in this one, starts off well. That is until she goes all Nazi, and then she only really pops up to show us that even though she betrayed Indy, there might be some hope for her after all. We don't care. You're a Nazi. Indy meets Adolf Hitler. That's all I've got to say on that. The rest of the film from then on purely consists of Indy bitching about James Bond not being a good enough father, never taking him out for a milkshake or a quick game of catch. It carries on along this path, Indy whining, Connery not giving a shit. The Last Crusade basically goes on its way proving the point that Bond is cooler than Indiana Jones. And I bet Bond would have dealt with Willie like a man. Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull In no way, shape or form is this the worst of the series. Last Crusade holds that title by a country mile. Neither is it particularly astounding. But it is worth watching purely for the shits and giggles. As everyone already knows, this one involves aliens. Regardless of whether or not that's the most stupid thing to introduce in the Indiana Jones series, it made me give more of a shit than the other rubbish he was collecting. A big golden basket, a rock - even the Holy Grail turned out to be an eggcup. For the most part, Harrison Ford doesn't look too out of place considering he's knocking on a bit now. The one thing I would change about his overall image is those baggy brown trousers he wears - makes him look like my Grandad, were my Grandad an adventurer and not, well, dead. Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull definitely takes the crown for the most WTF moments in a movie. Ever. It made me wonder why no one turned round to Spielberg during shooting and was like 'Steve, maybe people aren't going to believe you can survive an atomic bomb by hiding in a fridge...' The car chase at the end, though yet again completely unrealistic, is thrilling and sits just a couple of popcorn boxes behind the mine cart chase for sheer cinematic thrills. Overall, the series isn't as consistent as everyone seems to think it is. Raiders of The Lost Ark is overrated, Temple of Doom underrated, The Last Crusade unrated and Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull overstated.

04-07-2009, 12:45 PM	#2 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	It was definitely interesting to read the impressions of someone just watching these movies now, but I disagree with a lot of what you said about them. I'm sure a lot of our differences of opinion come from our different viewing experiences. You saw one new movie and three old movies in a row, on DVD I assume for all of them. I saw each of them when they were new and all but Temple of Doom in the theater. Like a lot of people Raiders is my favorite. A big reason for this is something that you didn't touch upon in your review: it has the best female lead, by far, of any of the movies. Actually, I'd go even further and say it has the best supporting characters of any of the movies. Marion, Belloq, Sallah, Dietrich, Satipo, Katenga, even that big bald guy he fights by the plane are just such colorful characters to me. One of my biggest gripes about Temple of Doom—aside from Willie being so annoying, which is everyone's gripe about that movie—is that it has so few interesting supporting characters. Look at Mola Ram for example, such a boring villain. He has surprisingly little screen time, very few lines and there's really not much more to him as a character than a scary costume. Give me Belloq from Raiders as a better foil for Indy any day of the week. Hell, even Donovan from Last Crusade is better. Hey, so did you catch Dan Akroyd's cameo in Temple of Doom by the way? __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

04-07-2009, 01:20 PM	#3 (permalink)
jackhammer Ba and Be. Join Date: May 2007 Location: This Is England Posts: 17,331	The last one is a steaming pile of excrement and although Willie is annoying she's got a great rack on her __________________ It be my music and film collection. “A cynic by experience, a romantic by inclination and now a hero by necessity.”

04-07-2009, 01:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
WolfAtTheDoor ironing your socks Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: I'm in a rocknroll band. huh. Posts: 396	I didn't actually! I'll have to look for him now... what part of the movie was he in? And the only film I saw in the cinema was the Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, but it was much better viewing it as part of the series as I had more of a feel for Indy's character. I probably don't appreciate Marion as much as the old Indiana Jones fans because I'd already seen her in Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, where obviously people were already meant to know how she was important to the series. She wasn't introduced to me in the way that she was to viewers in the 80's, so maybe that's why her character impacted on me a lot less. And as for Mola Ram. He rips out peoples hearts.