Music Banter - What would your version of Hell be?

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Quote:

Originally Posted by SGR (Post 2231940)

Sounds like Hell is bringing a new meaning to "Women are to be seen, not heard"

No, he means that they can't **** so their ass has a disgusting pouch of feces growing out of it like a tumor. Pretty hellish for those poor women.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre (Post 2231943)

No, he means that they can't **** so their ass has a disgusting pouch of feces growing out of it like a tumor. Pretty hellish for those poor women.

But why would they need to **** if they can't eat?

I experienced my own personal hell while working retail in the early 2000s wherein I was subjected to a loop of Britney Spears, Justin Bieber, and Amy Grant for the entirety of my work day five days a week.

I ended up channeling that suffering into an experimental film I created and authored a thesis on the piece. It premiered in my city at an avant-garde multimedia show where I presented the film and delivered a short speech with excerpts from my abstract. Here is a segment of that summary:

Quote:

Music is generally classifiable into one of two autonomous categories: art or entertainment. To transcend this autonomy, I have created 5’50” of Pop. 5’50” of Pop transforms simple, formulaic, predictable, homogeneous pop music into something more challenging, arresting, and dauntingly complex.

Thousands of retail stores nationwide utilize commercially engineered playlists of background music provided by the Muzak Corporation. 5’50” of Pop makes use of the 100 songs that I heard on the Muzak loop each week at my place of employment. These songs were so similar that for months I thought I was being exposed to perhaps only a dozen or so songs. But there were, in fact, 100, and these tracks were more than just background music to me: they were a virtual sonic cage in which I was trapped for eight hours every day.

5’50” of Pop is a sound collage of those 100 pop songs. By playing the music videos for all 100 tracks over each other simultaneously, I attempt to arrest the senses, both visually and aurally, to recreate the suffocating effect this music had on me.

When I presented the work to the head of the music department at my city's prestigious university's experimental music center, the president told me he would give me a Master's degree for the work, provided I pay for my undergrad. Sadly I couldn't afford that so the project was retired.

It was an indulgent act of catharsis, but effectively got me through the horrific experience.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart (Post 2231934)

To be crude and un-PC for a moment, Hell would be where all the beer glasses have holes in them and none of the women do.
:shycouch:

Geez, if I couldn’t speak, piss or sh!t that really would be hell!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SGR (Post 2231947)

But why would they need to **** if they can't eat?

SGR asking the real questions

You people all suck. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart (Post 2231965)

You people all suck. :)

If you end up in Hell, you're just gonna find all of us there. And I'll bring the entire Beastie Boys discography with me. ;)

There's a bunch of puppies and I can't pet or feed them even though I have a big bag of treats. I'm forced to eat the treats (none of which are surprisingly tasty, they all suck) while the puppies watch me watch them starve to death. They replace the puppies when one dies for varying degrees of emaciating puppies but they leave the bodies so I can also see the cannibalism. The Power of Love is playing on repeat, but it's drowned out by an old fogey telling me how great they think that song is (it's mostly because they've been on a consistent decline since high school and hearing that song at the roller rink was the last time they remember the joy of youth, but they don't recognize that), and I'm not allowed to make fun of them. If I ignore or am rude to the old blabbermouth, a burping, moaning tweaker on withdrawal hounds me for crystal that he's sure I have. The heat changes from broiling to freezing the moment I begin getting accustomed to it. To top it all off, the only feature of the room is a cheap stock painting of a building, and it's crooked.

There's more but that would be what they put on the pamphlet.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner! :clap:

My own personal hell would be stuck in the middle of a crowded open field with so many people surrounding me and the soundtrack would be this metal band I can't remember the name of. It starts with a D and in the old music club someone recommended we listen to it but it's just a female vocalist screaming for like 40 mins. I believe it was Frownlands rec IIRC.