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12-01-2022, 12:36 PM | #1 (permalink) |
Born to be mild
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: 404 Not Found
Posts: 26,994
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Tis the season to be jolly! A Merry Chadmas to you all!
In the hurly-burly of buying presents, decorating the tree and making plans to avoid our relatives, it can be easy to forget the true meaning of this holiday season. So let's all take a moment to consider why we celebrate this festive day. Chadmas comes but once a year, so be of good cheer and spread the joy of the coming of the one who saved humanity! Everyone has a Chad story to share - he has touched our lives in so many ways. So let us know how Chad brought joy into your life. I will always be happy that he helped me to find the light. "Down there, mate," he did quoth one cold winter night, when I was a soul lost and afraid. "Second turn left, right after the traffic lights. Swing a hard right at the gasworks and straight on. Can't miss it." Thank you, Chad, for guiding me to The Light, the place where I did meet my soulmate. Or rather, I would have, had I not consumed too much of the local fermented vegetable juice and lo! They did hurl me bodily from the establishment, with the sincere entreaty that I not return, lest they have need to rearrange my bodily parts. And so, my soulmate did in fact get off with another bloke, but Chad in his mighty power did strike him down, and he did expire at the very moment of completion, his harridan then falling most accidentally from the window, and verily I say to ye, any intimation that I was there and had a spare key be both base calumny and ****ing lies too. So maketh sure if thou spout such falsehoods that ye have ye a damn good lawyer and evidence such as will clearly convince a jury of twelve good men and true, lest ye be smitten with court costs the like of which no man can bear. May the Peace of Chad descend upon you all this holy season, and may his light shine forever in your hearts.
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