The Stupidest Question You've Ever Been Asked
 

Here or elsewhere. Preferably here.

"Can we go to see the leprechauns while I'm here?" Serious question from an Intel executive. I leave you to guess what nationality he was.

Irish, from County Cork. Am I write or am I right???

"How do you know you don't like women if you've never been with one?"

- my middle sister.

"Well you're not helping."

Upon being told that I sold audio equipment for a living "how many watts you got?"

"How do I import mangoes from Malaysia into Ireland?"
"You can't. They're banned by law."
"Do I need some sort of licence?"
"No, there is no licence. You simply can't bring them in."
"How do I get a licence?"
"There is no licence for you to get. You can't get a licence to do something illegal."
"But I need to import these mangoes!"
"You can't."
"Maybe some other agent can help me."
"No they can't. We're all bound by Irish law."
"How soon can I get a licence?"
"You can't."
and so on.
Took a half hour and a call from Customs and Excise to convince him that he had wasted his money; instead of checking first if there were any barriers to importing those ****ing mangoes, he bought them and then (unsurprisingly) the shipper wouldn't refund him.

I know where I would have liked to have stuck his ****ing mangoes.
I reckon they rotted, somewhat like his brain.

Why can't you import mangoes into Ireland?

Yeah, what do the Irish have against the world's greatest fruit??

And what kind of loser orders mangoes from Malaysia when Africa is right there?

"What language is spoken in Croatia?"

Me: "Croatian".

"Oh really? Is that like Italian?"

Me:"..............no."