What sort of dumb business ventures would you invest in if you were obscenely rich?

goldendoodle · 11-20-2020, 10:45 PM

..Impractical/dumb/frivolous ones or just very time-consuming odd projects that would be satisfying to no one but you. Things like that. I think about this A LOT. For instance...

I don't get the appeal of those really extreme sort of haunted houses (the kind with chainsaw men and being grabbed physically and just repeated sensory overload basically). They just seem so boring. Why not create a more REAL/mundane feeling environment, and also, keep the guests in there much much longer, and focus more on slow-burn psychological torture instead?
There could still be plenty of traditional horror house elements, I suppose, and even physical stuff/bombardment, just less overt. I guess essentially what I'm imagining is a large Victorian-gothic manor (an actual house of some sort) meets benign MK-Ultra meets puzzles meets utterly ordinary-seeming New England bed & breakfast environment meets BDSM dungeon. Is that too much to ask?

Or like. The above type of 'haunted house' that, on the outside AND inside (on the surface) looks literally like an Applebees of Chili's or something. Except you can't leave (you have to escape/solve an endless array of puzzles) and the waiters become gradually more menacing and break you down psychologically until you're a delirious mess (but a tipsy one with heartburn) and then the actual setting/theme reveals itself. And so on and so forth. And ofc the music would gradually become more and more distorted until it sounds like an unholy noise-y mish-mash of katy perry, jimmy buffet, and Swans. I am so burdened by all my amazing ideas....

OccultHawk · 11-21-2020, 12:36 AM

Obscenely rich?

I’d buy trendy condos evict everyone and turn them into free housing.

I’d buy restaurants and convert them into a coops and teach people about consensus decision making.

I’d buy huge plots of land in cities across the country and hire environmentally minded people to organize community gardens.

I’d start free schools in ghettos that actually taught poor kids who want to learn and rec center day cares for kids who didn’t and call that school too. More complicated but along those lines.

I’d buy churches and raze them.

I’d buy politicians and get free public transportation everywhere.

I’d buy clinics and subsidize them and make them free.

I’d pay off police unions and have them police correctly.

I’d have real legal defense teams for poor people and I’d buy off judges.

I’d fund the **** out of groups like BLM and antifa with the mission of making suburbs unlivable.

I’d buy every private prison in the country and close them. I’d pay off whoever it took to pardon all the non-violent offenders.

I’d buy fast food chains and convert them into vegan coops.

~~jwb~~ · 11-21-2020, 12:40 AM

I'd sell cigs to teenagers

OccultHawk · 11-21-2020, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

I'd sell cigs to teenagers

lol

**Marie Monday** · 11-21-2020, 02:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Obscenely rich?

I’d buy trendy condos evict everyone and turn them into free housing.

I’d buy restaurants and convert them into a coops and teach people about consensus decision making.

I’d buy huge plots of land in cities across the country and hire environmentally minded people to organize community gardens.

I’d start free schools in ghettos that actually taught poor kids who want to learn and rec center day cares for kids who didn’t and call that school too. More complicated but along those lines.

I’d buy churches and raze them.

I’d buy politicians and get free public transportation everywhere.

I’d buy clinics and subsidize them and make them free.

I’d pay off police unions and have them police correctly.

I’d have real legal defense teams for poor people and I’d buy off judges.

I’d fund the **** out of groups like BLM and antifa with the mission of making suburbs unlivable.

I’d buy every private prison in the country and close them. I’d pay off whoever it took to pardon all the non-violent offenders.

I’d buy fast food chains and convert them into vegan coops.

**Frownland** · 11-21-2020, 02:54 AM

I would build an amplified house with instruments built into the walls.

goldendoodle · 11-24-2020, 03:03 PM

Oh gosh I completely forgot I made this thread. Usually when I start making a thread late at night I end up closing the tab and telling myself "No."

Anyway good ideas everyone. Except for Hawk-- you're supposed to share frivolous, unnecessary ideas, not useful ones.

Speaking of things built into the walls, I've always wondered why more rich people with their ultra luxe bathrooms don't ever incorporate giant floor to ceiling aquariums.
I think I've mentioned this before, but I'd very much like to have a giant bathtub carved out of quartz or onyx.

I also often fantasize about creating a roller disco. Drugs would be allowed. There would of course be goth/80s industrial and/or french coldwave nights also (I don't even know how to roller skate so I'm not sure what this fixation is about) as well as occasional Britney Spears nights (without warning) aND (forgot what I was going to type). And a jellyfish aquarium with blue velvet couches. Yes this would basically be built for me, personally to skate around in alone while cackling to myself in glee.

Also, instead of a cat cafe, a golden retriever cafe (yes I know there would be hair everywhere but it could be managed somehow). The golden retrievers would each have extensive back stories/lore that I invent and they would also be the waiters, ofc. (They'd bring people their muffin order in a little bag, as well as throw pillows, or whatever else they wished to bring and you would be obligated to accept it graciously and give them lots of pets as a reward) And instead of having the typical cat cafe aesthetic I'd want it to be more homey, with a fireplace and such. Alternately: miniature donkeys.

AND-- I personally don't think this is impractical, but others do-- a 24 hour chinese buffet (PLUS made to order tacos AND waffles) that ALSO has an arcade with a bar. (And yes I know casinos exist but I hate them, so.) There would also be a few private special Depression Eating booths for lone diners who just want to gorge in solitude while watching things on their tablet in a disassociated state.

I also wish to have my own labyrinth. Just a labyrinth, nothing special. (I suppose if I wanted I could occasionally charge people an absurd entry fee and call it "Silent Meditation Labyrinth Day Retreat" or something with lots of new-age jargon thrown in the pamphlet, as well as various words and phrases that rich upper class kooky white people like/feel comforted by.)

OccultHawk · 11-24-2020, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Except for Hawk

Sorry Chio

Tristan_Geoff · 11-24-2020, 03:29 PM

Capitalist scum. The lot of you.

OccultHawk · 11-24-2020, 03:42 PM

A toilet that photographs your turds after you poop and uploads the images to a website where people rank them.

11-20-2020, 10:45 PM	#1 (permalink)
goldendoodle god's favorite clown Join Date: Oct 2019 Posts: 139	What sort of dumb business ventures would you invest in if you were obscenely rich? ..Impractical/dumb/frivolous ones or just very time-consuming odd projects that would be satisfying to no one but you. Things like that. I think about this A LOT. For instance... I don't get the appeal of those really extreme sort of haunted houses (the kind with chainsaw men and being grabbed physically and just repeated sensory overload basically). They just seem so boring. Why not create a more REAL/mundane feeling environment, and also, keep the guests in there much much longer, and focus more on slow-burn psychological torture instead? There could still be plenty of traditional horror house elements, I suppose, and even physical stuff/bombardment, just less overt. I guess essentially what I'm imagining is a large Victorian-gothic manor (an actual house of some sort) meets benign MK-Ultra meets puzzles meets utterly ordinary-seeming New England bed & breakfast environment meets BDSM dungeon. Is that too much to ask? Or like. The above type of 'haunted house' that, on the outside AND inside (on the surface) looks literally like an Applebees of Chili's or something. Except you can't leave (you have to escape/solve an endless array of puzzles) and the waiters become gradually more menacing and break you down psychologically until you're a delirious mess (but a tipsy one with heartburn) and then the actual setting/theme reveals itself. And so on and so forth. And ofc the music would gradually become more and more distorted until it sounds like an unholy noise-y mish-mash of katy perry, jimmy buffet, and Swans. I am so burdened by all my amazing ideas.... __________________ formerly Chiomara Last edited by goldendoodle; 11-20-2020 at 10:51 PM.

11-21-2020, 12:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,006	Obscenely rich? I’d buy trendy condos evict everyone and turn them into free housing. I’d buy restaurants and convert them into a coops and teach people about consensus decision making. I’d buy huge plots of land in cities across the country and hire environmentally minded people to organize community gardens. I’d start free schools in ghettos that actually taught poor kids who want to learn and rec center day cares for kids who didn’t and call that school too. More complicated but along those lines. I’d buy churches and raze them. I’d buy politicians and get free public transportation everywhere. I’d buy clinics and subsidize them and make them free. I’d pay off police unions and have them police correctly. I’d have real legal defense teams for poor people and I’d buy off judges. I’d fund the **** out of groups like BLM and antifa with the mission of making suburbs unlivable. I’d buy every private prison in the country and close them. I’d pay off whoever it took to pardon all the non-violent offenders. I’d buy fast food chains and convert them into vegan coops. __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

11-21-2020, 02:54 AM	#6 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	I would build an amplified house with instruments built into the walls. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

11-24-2020, 03:03 PM	#7 (permalink)
goldendoodle god's favorite clown Join Date: Oct 2019 Posts: 139	Oh gosh I completely forgot I made this thread. Usually when I start making a thread late at night I end up closing the tab and telling myself "No." Anyway good ideas everyone. Except for Hawk-- you're supposed to share frivolous, unnecessary ideas, not useful ones. Speaking of things built into the walls, I've always wondered why more rich people with their ultra luxe bathrooms don't ever incorporate giant floor to ceiling aquariums. I think I've mentioned this before, but I'd very much like to have a giant bathtub carved out of quartz or onyx. I also often fantasize about creating a roller disco. Drugs would be allowed. There would of course be goth/80s industrial and/or french coldwave nights also (I don't even know how to roller skate so I'm not sure what this fixation is about) as well as occasional Britney Spears nights (without warning) aND (forgot what I was going to type). And a jellyfish aquarium with blue velvet couches. Yes this would basically be built for me, personally to skate around in alone while cackling to myself in glee. Also, instead of a cat cafe, a golden retriever cafe (yes I know there would be hair everywhere but it could be managed somehow). The golden retrievers would each have extensive back stories/lore that I invent and they would also be the waiters, ofc. (They'd bring people their muffin order in a little bag, as well as throw pillows, or whatever else they wished to bring and you would be obligated to accept it graciously and give them lots of pets as a reward) And instead of having the typical cat cafe aesthetic I'd want it to be more homey, with a fireplace and such. Alternately: miniature donkeys. AND-- I personally don't think this is impractical, but others do-- a 24 hour chinese buffet (PLUS made to order tacos AND waffles) that ALSO has an arcade with a bar. (And yes I know casinos exist but I hate them, so.) There would also be a few private special Depression Eating booths for lone diners who just want to gorge in solitude while watching things on their tablet in a disassociated state. I also wish to have my own labyrinth. Just a labyrinth, nothing special. (I suppose if I wanted I could occasionally charge people an absurd entry fee and call it "Silent Meditation Labyrinth Day Retreat" or something with lots of new-age jargon thrown in the pamphlet, as well as various words and phrases that rich upper class kooky white people like/feel comforted by.) __________________ formerly Chiomara

11-24-2020, 03:42 PM	#10 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,006	A toilet that photographs your turds after you poop and uploads the images to a website where people rank them. __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

11-21-2020, 12:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
~~jwb~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 4,403	I'd sell cigs to teenagers